The Pursuit of Happiness
by The Altered Destinies
Summary: Ryouga's troubles from "The More Things Change" continue as he finally begins to realize who he's in love with, but still has to deal with fair sized number of friends and enemies.
1. Prelude

-rpm .edu/~

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

PRELUDE =======

Instead of running Stay and keep it coming You're getting your kicks right at the source You're taking your guidance from the force But where do you get love Down below or from somewhere above Got a scary feeling I know Where you get love

-Matthew Sweet, 'Where Do You Get Love?'

"Hiroshi, my friend, we live in interesting times."

"Indeed we do, Daisuke. We certainly do."

They idly observed the grounds of Furinkan High as a lazy afternoon lunch passed by. It was, for once, a perfectly normal afternoon. Girls were gossiping, guys were bragging, epic battles were being fought in the cafeteria for a decent sandwich.

In other words, it was very much unlike Furinkan as they knew it.

"Considering the time of year, it's surprisingly pleasant outside,  
isn't it?" wondered Hiroshi.

"Mmm," grumbled Daisuke. Hiroshi had a point. For late January, it should be pretty darn cold, but every now and then the weather would let up just enough for outside lounging to be a viable option.

"Ominous," said Daisuke.

"Very," agreed Hiroshi.

"Somehow, there's a vital energy lacking here. It's as if Furinkan's soul has been drained of its robust spirit."

"I know what you mean," said Hiroshi. "Perhaps we have become too accustomed to the chaos which our Furinkan is famous for?"

"We are strangers to normality," said Daisuke glumly.

"I wonder," pondered Hiroshi, "once we leave these halls, will the rest of the world seem like a grey and lifeless place?"

"Perhaps, my friend. Perhaps. When again will we walk amongst warriors of legend? Witness epic battles? Bear witness to impossible magic? We take these things for granted. Some of us even wish this to end. Rather foolish, that."

"I'll always look back with fond memories," said Hiroshi. "This is,  
after all, the springtime of our lives."

"Ah, youth. We shou-"

"Hey, check out the babe!" said Hiroshi.

"Babe? Where?" asked Daisuke. "Where's she at?!"

"Over there, man." Hiroshi pointed at a young girl with a bit of a tan and tomboyishly short hair. She was obviously not a student, since she wasn't in uniform. She seemed to be looking over the grounds with a certain amount of longing, and a little bit of confusion.

"Say... I've seen her before somewhere," said Daisuke.

"Yeah, me too. Wonder where." Hiroshi seemed to mull things over in his head, then stood up.

"Hey, where ya goin?" wondered Daisuke.

"Gonna go talk to her, of course," said Hiroshi with a lecherous grin.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" wondered Daisuke.

"Huh?"

"I'll bet you a lunch that the girl is a martial artist of sorts," said Daisuke. "And, well, need I remind you of what happens to those who get too deeply into the martial artist circle?"

Hiroshi knew all too well. Almost all the martial artists of Furinkan were, at the moment, in the hospital. Ranma, Ryouga, Kuno, even Happosai.

Wait. They were in the hospital.

"Hey, what could possibly happen?" wondered Hiroshi. "I mean, all the major hazards are currently outta the way, y'know?"

"Ooh, good point," said Daisuke.

Hiroshi grinned smugly, started walking, then halted. "And... where are YOU going?" he wondered.

"Why, with you, my friend," said Daisuke with a sly grin.

"I saw her first," said Hiroshi.

"Why, are you suggesting I'd try something underhanded?" wondered Daisuke. "Hiroshi, buddy, I'm hurt. I'm coming along just... to watch your back... yeah... I mean, who knows, she might be a psycho martial artist or something."

"Yeah. Right."

"Excuse me, guys, but I wonder if you could help me with something?"

Hiroshi and Daisuke froze in surprise. The Girl had come to _them_.  
This was unheard of. A pleasant change, actually. Usually, the girls that were looking for help ended up running to Ranma.

Heheh they both thought, good thing Ranma isn't here.

"Why, yes," said a suddenly smooth Hiroshi, "what can I do for you?"

Daisuke frowned briefly at the sudden transformation. Be damned if Hiroshi was going to outcool him. In a smooth, soothing voice, Daisuke said, "How could I refuse to help a lady in distress? Ask away."

Hiroshi's cool flickered briefly as he cast a mean glare at Daisuke.

"Well," said the girl, blushing slightly, "I was wondering where students go to register for admission."

"Oh, that?" said Hiroshi. "Tha-"

"That's room 112, first floor," said Daisuke, slightly elbowing Hiroshi to one side.

The girl giggled, amused at the boys antics. "Are you sure that's the room? I thought it was the rec room."

"The rec room?" said both boys. "We have a rec room?"

"Well, there were these palm trees everywhere, a small pond, and lots of sand."

"Ah... that _is_ the office," said Hiroshi.

"Our principal has, well, strange tastes," explained Daisuke.

"Just keep on going to the back," said Hiroshi. "You'll see the front desk eventually."

"Oh. Okay."

"Want me to walk you there?" said both Hiroshi and Daisuke.

"No, that's alright, I think I can manage."

"I hope you don't mind me asking," said Hiroshi, "but... what's your name?"

"Man, how rude," said Daisuke. "You introduce yourself _first_." He smiled at the girl, saying, "Sorry about my friend's rudeness. He's a little short on social manners."

"Hey you!" protested Hiroshi.

"My name is Daisuke."

"And I'm Hiroshi."

"Hiroshi, Daisuke, nice to meet you. My name is Ryoko," said the girl,  
"Ryoko Muhoshin."

The boys seemed to be distracted for a moment as their brains spun around, nagging them about something.

"Ahah! I knew I saw you before!" said Hiroshi. "You were watching the big fight between Ryouga and that new guy that looked a lot like Gosunkugi."

"Wait a minute," said Daisuke, "you're related to that Gos-clone?"

"Mm-hm. I'm his sister."

Both boys nearly facefaulted.

"You look... nothing like your brother," said Hiroshi.

"I hear that all the time," said Ryoko. "Actually, Ryo is the weird one in the family. The rest of us are perfectly normal."

"So... you'll be enrolling in Furinkan this semester?" wondered Daisuke.

"Actually, my sister will."

Both boys seemed momentarily disappointed.

Waitaminute. Sister? thought both.

"Well, if your sister needs help around here," said Hiroshi.

"We'd be glad to help," said Daisuke.

"Thanks, guys. I'll keep that in mind. Bye, and again, thanks for the help." She strolled away happily, leaving the two sighing and admiring her obvious atheletic traits.

"If her sister is anything like her," said Hiroshi.

"Oooh yeah," said Daisuke.

"AHEM."

"What are you two perverts up to now?!"

The boys paled, then turned around slowly.

"Aheheh, Sayuri, hi," said Hiroshi.

"Yuka, how's it going?" said Daisuke.

"That's it," said Sayuri, "our double-date is off!" Yuka nodded firmly in agreement.

"Aw, c'mon!" said Hiroshi. "We were just talking to her!"

"Girls, please, don't overreact!"

Despite their protests, the girls stomped off, leaving the boys alone and rejected.

"You know," said Hiroshi, "somehow, that felt strangely familiar."

"Yeah, it did, didn't it?" said Daisuke. "Man, we haven't heard anything like that since Akane and Ranma's old arguements.

"Seems we're becoming like them, eh?" said Hiroshi. Both laughed loudly at the joke.

Then they froze.

"Man, I hope not," said Daisuke.

"Me too, man. Me too."

-end prelude-  



	2. Recovery

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT I

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of that guy you always wanted to kill.  
========================

And there is even a happiness That makes the heart afraid.

-Thomas Hood, "Ode to Melancholy"

======== PART I Recovery ========

This is a story about kids in Nerima.

Actually, it's about two of them in particular. They live together, go to school together, argue sometimes, and a few people have their suspicions as to the actual nature of this relationship.  
For years it was Ranma and Akane's story, with the whole of Nerima seemingly revolving around their lives. Little did they suspect that it was because of the very nature of Nerima that they were the center of all the strangeness. But nothing lasts forever, and the center of Nerima's odd sort of lifestyle found two other people to pick on.

Ryouga and Ukyou.

This is their story.

[Morning]

It was the third week of their hospital stay since the disastrous fight involving the Kunos, the Muhoshins, Gosunkugi, Tsubasa in a ridiculously large mech, Happosai, bombs, a gas main, a fuel truck, and a power line. Needless to day, each week was fairly unpleasant.

The first week was incredibly unbearable, with everyone packed into the same room. Riots and bickering were common every day. The second week brought some relief, as most of the others were released. The remaining few were Ranma, Ryouga, Kuno, and Ryo.

And how well did those four get along? Well...

Kuno peered from out the windows, a grin creeping into his face. "Ah,  
rejoice, angels in heaven! Rejoice, and sing of love's sweet melody! My goddess cometh!"

"Ranma," growled Ryouga, "try to keep your big mouth shut this time."

"Hey, we just kid around with each other," said Ranma with a shrug. "She knows it ain't serious."

"Saotome, you had best keep thy tongue pure and thy speech kind towards the fair Akane Tendo on this day, else I shall show thee the full vengeance of the house of Kuno!"

"Shut up, Kuno!" both Ranma and Ryouga yelled.  
A few minutes later Akane and Ukyou came in with baskets.

"Ranma, Ryouga, hi!" Akane waved to Ryouga and sat next to Ranma.

"Akane Tendo! Come to me my love!"

Kuno tried to spring out of his bed, but the casts and restraints held him back. With that option taken away, he ranted.

"Ranchan, lost boy, hope you guys are feelin' better." Ukyou sat in a chair next to Ryouga, although by the look of it, she wasn't too enthusiastic about being there.

"Don't call me that," muttered Ryouga.

"Jeez, just kidding, ya big baby," muttered Ukyou.

Kuno continued to rant on various things, of the weather and the goddesses, and the Devil Saotome, but by now they were used to it. It was much like elevator music or background noise.

"Guess what we brought?" Akane smiled and held up her basket.

Ranma turned pale. Oh no... not... not...

"I made lunch!" She cheerfully

"You tryin' to make me stay here longer?!" yelled Ranma.

-bap- "Don't you start again," said Akane mildly.

"Yes! Smite him my love!" cheered Kuno.

The two of them began a moderate conversation of barbs and bickering,  
which to ordinary people would seem to be a bad thing. However, nobody pulled out a mallet and nobody yelled. Thus, by their standards, this was a rather tame squabble. Meanwhile Kuno ranted more on the vulgar habits of the one named Saotome.

Ukyou sighed. "Those guys are at it again."

"You'd think they'd have stopped by now," muttered Ryouga.

"Oh, by the way," said Ukyou as she handed Ryouga a bento box, "I brought these for ya. Just thought y'might be sick of hospital food,  
that's all. No big deal."

"Um, thanks." as Ryouga took the lunch, his hands went slightly over hers, and they both suddenly jerked their hands away.

"Well, um, seeya later Ryouga."

"Yeah, later Ucc.. er.. Ukyou."

Ryo Muhoshin stayed silent during this whole exchange. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, and nobody complained.

Outside the hospital, Ukyou waved goodbye to Akane and walked off to her restaurant, a frown on her face. It was kind of lonely at the restaurant. She'd gotten used to Ryouga helping her out every day there,  
and being alone just wasn't as comfortable as it used to be. For a moment, a short, small, moment, she wondered about him... and her.  
However, that idea was tossed out quickly. From all the times she tried to get him together with Akane, she knew two things. One, he was wishy-washy, and two, he was distracted with the greatest of ease.  
Besides, she thought, she'd had enough of the dating game wasting so much of her life on it, and on a boy who didn't love her. Ryouga's a friend,  
and that's all I need.

A few minutes later, Ryouga was staring down at Ukyou's lunch. It was some of her deluxe okonomiyaki. He sighed. Nice of her to do that.  
He'd never had a closer friend than Ukyou. She knew a lot about him and helped him out when times were bad. And for a moment, just a moment, he thought that they might be something more.

Maybe.

He put that thought aside, though, and effectively shut off the very small nagging voice that suggested it. He didn't need a relationship, not now. He was still feeling somewhat hurt from when Akane finally let the world know she loved Ranma. Was he still in love with Akane? There was a part of him that would always love her, but there was no longer the intense infatuation that he once had. However, the whole experience made him a little more wary of setting his hopes on anyone.

Ukyou was his friend, probably his best friend, and for the moment, he was entirely content with that. She made great okonomiyaki too.

Slowly, smoothly, Ranma hobbled out of bed and sat next to Ryouga.

Ryouga narrowed his eyes. Ranma was acting far too friendly already.

"What do -you- want, Ranma."

Ranma suddenly looked very serious. "Ryouga, y'know, we've known each other for a long time."

"Huh?"

"I feel... like I've known you forever."

"The feeling's mutual," grumbled Ryouga.

"And I just wanted t'say... I love you, man!"

Ryouga edged a little away from Ranma, staring at his rival with bulging eyes.

Then realization hit him.

"Ranma, you're not getting my okonomiyaki."

Ranma blinked, sighed, and went away from Ryouga. "Kuno, we've known each other for a while now..."

"Away from my sustenance, you fiend! No doubt you hath poisoned this fair and noble feast from Akane with vile potions!"

The Lord of the Shadoloo* sat in his command chair, disappointed.

He'd given Ryo Muhoshin the Power, in hopes that he'd cause some destruction and chaos in Japan.

That didn't happen.

Instead, he seemed to have gotten himself killed.

He was useful, as a puppet. When he gave Ryo the Power, he also made Ryo a puppet, to be controlled at any time. With that little ability, he used the boy to kill one of his rivals, and then implanted the memory of an assasination job so as not arouse suspicion. He even sent Ryo a modest check.

Recently, though, he sensed his link to Ryo disconnected. That could only mean one thing. Ryo was dead. After all, he didn't know about the link and definitely wouldn't know how to disconnect it. Once someone becomes fused with the Power, it _never_ leaves them. Even magic wouldn't be enough.

He sighed, feeling disappointment, and resumed with his schedule.

"Sagat," he said over a telephone, "you're scheduled to take on Zangief tomorrow. Don't forget."

||But when do I get to fight Ryu!||

"Have patience."

-  
* There was much confusion about his name. Some thought it was Bison,  
others thought it was Vega. More people insisted that Vega was the assassin from Spain that he hired, and others insisted that Balrog was the name of the Spaniard. It was a bit confusing, and also hazardous. The last guy to ask the boss about the name thing was blasted into ashes. From that point on, the staff just used various synonyms of the word "Boss."

Gosunkugi wandered the Nerima streets, on his way to school and the same old routine once more. He'd been having some serious thoughts about his life direction since the big explosion that landed everyone in the hospital.

He still wasn't fully recovered, as he was using a crutch to get around and his left foot was still in a cast. Ever since the disaster, he'd been thinking that maybe this whole love thing was crazy. Maybe he'd best wait a couple of years first and preferably move to another city where martial artists weren't so numerous.

That's right, he thought, no more girls for me.

Um... Not for a little while, anyways.

So there he was, on a somewhat cold late January day, on crutches, and by Murphy's law someone should be along soon to bump him off his feet and shove him in front of an oncoming bus.

Someone bumped into him from behind.

He wobbled, and stumbled towards the street.

A bus zoomed and skidded to a halt.

*WHAM*

Fortunately, the bus was a bit early, so Gosunkugi had only banged his forehead against the side. If he knew how close to dying he really was,  
he would have been in a better mood knowing he survived it. Instead, he wobbled away from the bus and flopped to the ground like a fish out of water.

"Ow."

His vision was blurred. The world was a bunch of greyish blobs.

"Oh my. Are you alright?"

Hm, thought Gosunkugi, that voice was definitely feminine.

"Oh, you've got a nasty bump on the head. C'mon, let's get you to a doctor." Two soft hands gently helped him to his feet.

"Wah... a.. awaza..."

"Shh. C'mon, let's go. By the way..."

"Awha?"

"Where is the doctor? I'm kinda new in town."

Let's see, Gosunkugi thought, Doctor Tofu oughta be, hm, west of here.

"Wugh," he said, and nudged his head to the west.

"That way? Right."

Gosunkugi finally managed to get his vision cleared, and when it did,  
he was quite surprised. S-she's... cute.

Nearby, a chime rang, marking the end of the hour.

Normally, this would be a romantic moment.

Normally.

"Oh no!" he heard her say, "I'm going to be late!" She took off running, yelling as she left, "sorry about that! I've really got to go!"

{Nice to meet you} was what he'd thought, and tried to say, but it came out as "Niaeeyouuaaah..." right before he collapsed on the ground again.

It was a place on no map, but that didn't make it non-existent. It had grass, plenty of it, although it never seemed to need mowing. And all along the vast grassy plain, there were large, tall, very shady trees.

Under one of these trees sat several people. They were enjoying the breeze, either by climbing the tree, sitting down on blankets, or just floating (these were the showoffs). Though they were of many ages and many styles of dress, in general it seemed to be a communal sort of thing.

One of them, dressed in a simple t-shirt and slacks, was kneeling down next to a little girl. She was possibly four, maybe five years old, with locks of dark brown hair tied up in two ponytails. The center of her hair was marked with a small streak of white. At the moment, she had a small glowing ball of pink light between her hands.

"Hey, look!" said one of them, "Ske-chan's learning fast, eh?"

"Good going, Ske-chan!" said one of them, patting her on the head. She grinned with pride.

Meanwhile, elsewhere By The Trees...

"How's that Gosunkugi doing?" one of them asked.

"Who?"

"The one over here," he turned a palm upwards, and a small image made of several glowing blue strands appeared in his palm. In one strand, a small arrow was blinking, with the words 'G-287' at one end of the arrow,  
and a small red dot at the other.

"The one we gave a book to? He's doing fine. A little slow, but then we all started off a bit slow."

"True, true."

They sighed. One of them looked at the little girl, who was now producing a shower of bubbles from nowhere, which was itself causing general panic.

"What a little troublemaker," one of them said, grinning, "a lot like her 'sister'."

"Speaking of troublemakers... anybody ever find out where our rogue is nowadays?"

"No, lost track of him."

"I just hope he doesn't interfere with G-287's world... it's been a while since we've had a new inductee, and G-287 is getting close."

In the distance, a figure was trapped in a pinkish balloon. Two boys stood behind the little girl, who was now giggling, and chided, "Ske-chan,  
how many times have we told you not to do that..."

As a penalty for being late to school, Hikaru Gosunkugi had to undergo the standard Water Bucket Torture. To any normal student, it wasn't so bad. To the local martial artists, it was a joke.

To Hikaru Gosunkugi, at peak physical performance, it was torture.

To Hikaru Gosunkugi, fresh out of the hospital, with a crutch, it was hell. Considering who he was and what shape he was in, they reduced the penalty to one bucket, half filled.

He was still struggling.

He was a pitiful sight, standing in the hall, leaning on his crutch,  
while the crutchless side desperately clutched the bucket. He sighed,  
settling into the position, and was dreadfully afraid that it was going to be one of those days.

"Um, e-excuse me?" asked a somewhat timid voice.

Gosunkugi blinked. He'd heard that voice before. That.. .*cute*  
voice. And if he recalled correctly, the face belonging to that voice...

He raised his head and looked across the hall and a few doors down.

And there she was. The girl. She seemed... somehow ordinary in her appearance. A school uniform, long black hair, with a certain girl-next-door appeal.

And two buckets.

"Um... h-hi," he said nervously, trying to look like the one bucket he had wasn't the incredible strain on his muscles that it really was.

"Ah... sorry about this morning," she said, looking down.

"It's okay, really," he replied.

"Again, um, sorry." They turned away from each other, both feeling equally embarrassed at the situation.

Gosunkugi sighed, wishing he'd have enough courage to talk to this girl. She definitely was cute. Just another girl to be swept off her feet by a passing martial artist, he supposed.

Suddenly, a fire was lit within him. _No_ he thought, _I will not be the person I was before! I will be a better man!_ He summoned from his memory as much advice as he could from those volumes of 12 step self-help books, took a deep breath, and didn't say a thing.

After five more minutes of intense, self-esteem building thoughts, he said, "Um..."

"Hm?" she said in reply.

"I.. ah.. was wondering..."

_whattoaskwhattoaskwhattoaskwhattoaskAHHA!IKNOW!_

"Are you, um, new around here?" he managed to muster.

"Just moved here," she said quietly.

"Oh? From where?"

"Ah... San Francisco, in America."

"Oh..." Gosunkugi, by nature, would have been twiddling his thumbs at this point, but the bucket got in the way.

"Um... hi. I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi."

"Manami Hinako."

"Nice to meet you," he replied nervously. Internally, voices that were installed by all those 12 step, self-help books were giving him mighty pats on the back. See? he told himself. That wasn't so hard, now was it?

"So... you're new around here?" he asked.

"Um, yes."

The negative voices in Gosunkugi's mind sprang out, nagging him and reminding him _hey stupid, she already said that, now she'll think you're an idiot._

Then, he remembered something important that he felt he'd better check.

"You're not... a martial artist, are you?" he asked.

She blinked and looked at him oddly. "Um... no, I'm not."

"Oh." That made him feel entirely better. She was new, with no friends, and wasn't a martial artist. This could be promising. "Well...  
ah... if you need someone to show you around, I'd be glad to help out."

"Thank you," said she, smiling slightly, "I'd like that."

Gosunkugi would have said more at this point, but the positive voices in his head were throwing a party, and that involved cutting off any unnecessary things like speech and movement. Before his control system was shut down for the hour, it did manage to install a small, somewhat goofy looking grin on his face.

Ryo Muhoshin observed.

The days passed into nights and the nights into days, and he merely rested in his bed and observed. There was not much else to do, really. The demise of the Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts was quite a hindrance for him. He'd had the school's backing in his hunt for Ryouga,  
but the school was no more. What would he gain now by killing Hibiki? There WAS personal satisfaction, which was indeed very important, but there was no _tangible_ reward, not anymore. No promotion, no recognition, and now that it was no longer a matter of honor for a school of martial arts, the Law, which usually turned the other way when it came to matters of honor and martial artists, might not look the other way now.  
He admitted to himself, the grudge against Hibiki didn't have much honor to it, just a matter of pride, but he still hated the fool regardless.

Thus, with that particular goal in his life somewhat sidetracked, he merely observed.

Ryouga and his sometime comrade Ranma bickered off and on, Tatewaki Kuno spouted his poetic phrases, and Ryo observed, quietly.

Sometimes, they had visitors. Ryo despised the times that Ranma's significant other, Akane Tendo, visited. No rest could be gotten on those days, since the obnoxious duo bickered nearly every minute they were together.

Ryoko, on the other hand, was infuriating and sickening him with the way she fawned over that idiot Hibiki. He'd sooner see her dating that transvestite Tsubasa rather than see her fawn over HIM.

Then there was Ukyou, who also came to visit Ryouga. Oh, they claimed they were just friends, but Ryo could see something odd between them.  
There was that strange sort of uncomfortableness that one finds when there's two people with mixed emotions. If he could somehow push those two together, it'd put an end to Ryoko's foolish dreams...

"Ow! Ye gods!"

His brief moment of stray thought was snapped as Tatewake Kuno cringed with a needle sticking out of his arm.

"Zounds, woman! Thou hast punctured with thy needle to my very bone! I shall make a complaint on thy grave incompetence!"

For a reason he couldn't explain at the moment, that phrase made small wheels in Ryo's mind spin. Needle... bone... hm...

He filed that thought away for another day's contemplation, unfolded the day's newspaper, and observed.

The school bell rang, signaling the end of another day at the races for the people at Furinkan High. With the absence of their top martial artists, the school had settled into an odd sort of calm.

Actually, it was unnerving.

The classes started, on time, without interruption. Property damage was reduced to graffiti on walls. The Principal was just bored out of his mind and considering another vacation to Hawaii.

The most unfortunate victims of these circumstances were the students of Miss Hinako. She just couldn't stand being stuck in child form for so long, with her favorite delinquents absent, and SOMEBODY had to be drained in order for her to absorb energy. The end result was that if a student so much as twitched in her classes, Miss Hinako was quick and eager to deal out the punishment.

Those were the most unfortunate, but as odd as it may seem, students were beginning to feel... stressed (for lack of a better term) at the sudden relative calm that had settled over the school.

The Principal, watching from his office as the students left, did what he had to do.

He called his therapist.

Meanwhile, Ukyou packed away items in her locker and got ready to head back to the restaurant for business as usual. She didn't realize how much Kuno, Ranma, and Ryouga were an integral part of day to day life in Furinkan, and hoped they'd be back soon.

Well, maybe not Kuno.

As she walked out of the gates, she noticed Gosunkugi walking along, at a modest distance, along with... a girl? Ukyou smiled. That boy really did need a girlfriend, she thought, and wondered if he'd have any luck with her. Might as well see if she could help things, she thought.

"Hey, Gos!" she yelled, waving.

"Ukyou, hi!" he yelled back. A part of his mind, guided on by the self-help books gave him the idea that it'd be nice to introduce the girl to a few of his friends so that she wouldn't feel so lonely in town.  
"Ah... Ukyou, this is Manami, she's a new student here."

"Nice to meet you," she said shyly.

"I'm Ukyou Kounji. Nice t'meet you too."

Manami blinked at hearing Ukyou's name, and frowned for a brief second, as if remembering something.

"Hey, you two come on down to Ucchan's and I'll treat ya, okay?"  
offered Ukyou.

"Ucchan's?" asked Manami.

"Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, I run the place," said Ukyou, smiling with pride. "I'd be happy if you visited."

"We'll visit sometime then," said Manami, smiling a bit.

Meanwhile, Gosunkugi's mind was doing summersaults of joy, primarily because Manami used the term 'we', which he assumed meant her AND him.  
"Y-yes, we will sometime," he quickly agreed.

"Great! See you two later!"

Several hours later, the Okonomiyaki chef was back at the hospital once more and checking in on how her friends were doing.

Ukyou sighed. She couldn't help it.

She wasn't quite sure why she was feeling a tad melancholy, but she told herself it wasn't because there was that Muhoshin girl fawning over Ryouga. Nor was it because Ryouga seemed at a loss for words and fumbled every time he tried to explain to the girl that she really didn't have to give him so much attention.

And it was most certainly not bothering her, Ukyou told herself, that this girl had declared herself Ryouga's girlfriend.

After all, it didn't matter to her what that idiot did with his love life, right?

She looked around, sitting by Ranma as he and Akane chatted for a bit,  
looked at her watch, then sighed again. "Hey, Ranchan, Ryouga, see you guys later, okay? I gotta go."

Ranma motioned for for Ukyou to come closer, then he whispered in her ear, "Could ya take some time to try an' improve her cooking some more?  
It's still kinda toxic."

A nanosecond later, he got a pillow-whap to the head from his significant other.

"Hey, it isn't THAT bad anymore."

Ukyou laughed a little, then waved.

"See you guys later."

Ryouga tried to say something but only managed to stutter a bit and pronounce a few consonants and vowels. It seemed he was embarrassed, but Ukyou made it a point to ignore him, so she didn't notice anyways.

Ryoko paused from fluffing up Ryouga's pillow.

"Oh, you're going? Mind if I walk with you?" she asked.

Ukyou blinked. This wasn't what she was expecting, not really. It wasn't that she didn't like the girl, she just didn't know Ryoko that well at all aside from that first day she came into Ucchan's asking about Ryouga. Not wanting to be rude, she replied, "fine by me."

They waved goodbye to everyone, and Ryoko took the time to nudge Ryo's arm. He replied with a grunt and a wave of the newspaper he was reading.  
And after that, they left, in uncomfortable silence

Walking down the sidewalk outside of the hospital, Ryoko tapped Ukyou's shoulder. "Say, how about lunch? My treat."

"No, that's alright, I..."

Ryoko held up a small bit of plastic and smiled.

Ukyou couldn't help but smile an amused smile. "You still have _that_?"

"I think he forgot about it," said Ryoko. "C'mon, I insist, that cafe over there looks nice, let's go!"

A moment later, they stepped inside a modestly lit, European styled cafe. The walls were made of light grey rocks, cemented together, and wooden support beams framed the place. It could have easily been the inside of an English tavern. The walls were lined with large glass windows, with the exception of two spots which were occupied by large fans of some sort. Wooden tables were spread across the main floor, with a jazz band of some sort playing near the fans, and a bar to the far left.

Behind the bar, a blond lady in her late 20's was polishing glasses. Her hair was cut short, extremely short, and she was clad in a somewhat feminine purple tuxedo of sorts. She was, at the moment, talking to a gentleman of... odd appearances. He was dressed in a yellow jacket,  
t-shirt, blue parachute pants, and sported a tall orange mohawk with what appeared to be a small duck perched in it.

Ukyou and Ryoko took seats at the bar and waited for service, but couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"So, you won't be in it?" asked the mohawked one.

"I've quit that circuit already, Duck. I am _out_."

"Well, most of the heavy-hitters are sitting this one out too. I guess it's a vacation year for us, eh?" replied 'Duck'. "Looks like it's another year for the kiddies. Oh yeah, Yuri'n Mai send their regards."

"How are those guys doin' anyways? Been a while since I've seen'em."

"Yuri... she's still bickering with her old man an' chasing after Robert-o, like usual, man."

"Heh."

"An' Mai? Globe-hoppin' with... her fiancee... whazizname..."

"Andy?"

"Yeah, that's it. Anyways, I'll see ya later, a'right King?"

"Sure, Duck."

"Hey, come by the club sometime, okay?"

"I'll get to it."

"Yeah, yeah, you allllways say that."

With a final swig of his glass, Duck waved and departed. And King finally saw she had two customers.

"Oh, sorry about that," she said, "what can I get ya?"

"I'll have some tea," said Ukyou.

"What kind?" asked King. "Here's the drink list."

It was a long list.

"On second thought, just give me an espresso."

"Long Island special for me," said Ryoko.

"I don't think so," said the bartender. "You look a bit young."

"Fine, fine, gimmie a megavolt cola... some cheese sticks... ooh,  
there's caviar! We'll take some caviar. Let's see... what the heck, he owes me, gimmie the two most expensive things on the menu."

"Comin' right up." King scribbled something on a notepad, then walked over to a small window which seemed to be a portal to the kitchen. "Order up!" she yelled, and the paper was soon swiped away by a fast hand.

"So..." said Ukyou, "did you wanna talk about something?"

"Well," replied Ryoko, twiddling her fingers a bit, "I just wanted t'get to know Ryouga's friends a little better... you are his friend,  
right?" A friend?"

"A friend? Yeah, that's me," she said, shrugging.

"Known him long?" asked Ryoko.

"Oh... about a year or so," she said, thinking back. "We met under kinda odd circumstances."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He was trying to kill my fiancee, so I tried to kill him."

Ryoko stared at her. "Um... must've been a nice start."

"Yeah, it was," said Ukyou, smiling, "in the middle of our fight my now ex-fiancee opened my shirt and made Ryouga look."

"What?! You're kidding!"

"And from there..."

What was told next was, from Ukyou's point of view, more than a year's worth of madness. Of course, it was edited tastefully so that nobody came out looking like too much of a jerk (except maybe Shampoo). After a few more appetizers and two refills, she wrapped it up.

"... and now Ryouga's working for me," said Ukyou.

"Geez, that's weird... your guy falling for his girl," said Ryoko between bites of her seafood salad and gourmet hamburger. She was displaying a talent for eating which rivaled the infamous Saotome appetite.

"I'm over it," shrugged Ukyou. As she was about to say more, the clock chimed, signaling the hour. "Whoops, gotta run. Don't wanna miss the dinner crowd at the restaurant." Ukyou reached in her pockets to pay for the espresso when Ryoko interrupted.

"No, don't pay, it's on my brother's card, remember?"

"Oh yeah... thanks."

"See you later," said Ryoko.

"Later," replied Ukyou, who rushed out the doors soon after. Ryoko sipped her drink and thought for a while. Strange lives they lead around here, in this neighborhood, especially if what Ukyou said was true. She was very much glad that she didn't have to attend Furinkan High.

"Here's the bill," said King, presenting her with a piece of paper.

"Take credit?"

"Sure."

"Here y'go." She handed King her brother's ill-gotten credit card casually, then started nibbling on the last of her cheese sticks as King ran the card through the register.

"Sorry, Miss, but it's expired," said King, handing the card to Ryoko.

Ryoko paled. Oh no.

The Next Day...

Oil. Ingredients. Mix. Fry.

Listen to the sizzle.

Let it cook... further... more... and... flip.

"Hi, Ukyou."

The okonomiyaki cook was shaken from her zen-like pattern of cooking as two people made their way into her store, recognized immediately as Hikaru Gosunkugi and his new... friend, Manami.

"Hey, guys, come on in!" Ukyou quickly grilled up two okonomiyaki,  
tossed them on plates, and slid them down the table. "Have some on the house."

"Oh, we don't want to impose," said the girl quietly.

"No, no, I insist. C'mon, eat up!"

Ukyou went on to tend to the other customers, leaving Manami and Gosunkugi with no chance to protest. Unfortunately, in that short span of time, they had little to say to each other, and their conversation was fumbling at best. Soon, Gosunkugi had to leave, having to go with his parents to some prior engagement of some sort.

This, unfortunately, left Manami alone, and Ukyou was quick to notice the shy girl and her appearance of anxiety.

"Hey, what happened to Gosunkugi?" asked Ukyou as she finally made her way back to Manami after taking care of the last of the after school rush of customers.

"He had to go," she said, sounding somewhat worried.

"Nice guy, don't you think?" she asked Manami.

"Yes, he is," she said absently.

"Um..." said Ukyou, noticing the girl's worried manner. "Is something on your mind?"

"Actually... I'm kinda new to Tokyo... and have no idea how to get home from here."

"So how did you..."

"Gosunkugi walked me here."

Ukyou sighed. This wasn't a good way for Gosunkugi to make a good first impression. She'd have to talk with him about that. "What part of town do you live in?" she asked.

"Um... by by Tanuki and 42nd."

"Tell you what," said Ukyou, tapping a spatula on the grill as she thought, "I'm headed that way myself, visiting a friend at the hospital. If you don't mind the brief stop there, I can walk you home."  
"I don't want to trouble you," said Manami shyly.

"Hey, no problem at all."

Five down.

Two words.

Twelve letters.

American comedy team from early Hollywood era.

Hmm.

Ryo tapped the newspaper in thought, then glanced sidewards at his roommates.

"Give my lunch back, Ranma!"

"C'mon, Ryouga! Have a little mercy, willya? One more lunch from Akane and I'm gonna die!"

"Hold thy tongue, fiend! Talk not of the fair Akane Tendo in such an ill manner!"

T-h-r-e-e S-t-o-o-g-e-s.

Hmm.

Fits perfectly.

Ryo grunted in satisfaction as he penciled in the letters. Meanwhile,  
Ranma, Ryouga, and Kuno continued their squabbles.

"Hi guys!" The four boys paused to inspect their visitor. Ranma and Kuno looked slightly disappointed, Ryo resumed his crossword puzzles, and Ryouga smiled nervously.

"Hello, sis," said Ryo, casually.

"Hi there," said Ryouga.

"So, how're you today, Ryouga?" asked Ryoko, ignoring her sibling.

"Ah... well... we're getting released in a couple of days."

"About time," she replied. "Oh yeah, there's something that all you guys might be interested in." She dug into her purse, pulled out a flier, and handed it to Ryouga.

"King of Nerima Martial Arts Tournament," read Ryouga, "all schools and styles welcome. Hm... in six weeks..." Then he finally got to the bit about the prizes and whistled. Ranma, never one to miss out on a martial artist thing, hobbled over and had a look at the paper. Then he got to the bit about the prizes and whistled too.

"You guys interested?" asked Ryoko.

"Maybe," said Ryouga.

"Hey, I'm in," said Ranma, "Nobody 'round here can beat me!"

"Is that so?" said an irritated Ryouga.

"Methinks I heard the sound of a challenge?" pondered Kuno. "Very well! I shall enter this tournament as well and smite thee once and for all!"

"Hey, bro, you in?" asked Ryoko.

Ryo grunted vaguely and resumed his crossword puzzle. Mentally, he was tallying up his current record of wins and losses... which he estimated was 87 wins, 20 losses, and one draw match. The losses and the draw match being all related to Hibiki. Surely, he was due for a win by _now_, or so he thought. Yes, the tournament sounded like a good thing.

"Hi guys!" said Akane Tendo as she made her sudden entrance, basket of food in hand. Ranma shivered at the sight of that. His only hope was that she cooked curry.

His hopes were raised quickly when he heard the familiar call of, "Heya Ranchan!"

"Ucchan! Hey! Great to see ya! Where's the okonomiyaki?" said Ranma happily, right before he got a pillow-whap to the head from Akane.

"Sorry, Ranchan, just swinging by on my way to work," said Ukyou. She pointedly ignored Ryouga, who was at the moment having his pillow fluffed by Ryoko. "Just came by t'see how you guys are doing. Oh, by the way,  
this is..." she said, pointing to empty space, "... hey, where'd she go?"

"Where'd who go?" asked Akane.

"Friend of Gosunkugi's... she was right behind me," muttered Ukyou.  
Then she stepped out briefly, and returned with a girl in school uniform and a girl-next-door sort of look to her. "C'mon," said Ukyou, "don't be shy. These guys are friends of mine... well, almost all of them anyways.  
Guys, this is Manami Hinako, just moved into town."

Manami waved timidly, then gasped.

"Something wrong, Manami?" asked Ukyou.

"Um... who's that?" she asked, pointing to the rather embarrassed figure that was feebly protesting being fussed over by Ryoko while she offered to give him a foot massage.

"That? That's Ryouga and his... girlfriend, of sorts," said Ukyou.

"G... girlfriend?" said Manami weakly.

Ryoko, getting a feeling that her name was just mentioned, looked around. "Oh, heya Ukyou. Who's your friend?"

"Ah... Manami Hinako... nice to meet you."

At this point, Ryouga looked at her and blinked. And blinked again. Something was bothering him, but he wasn't sure what. "Um... hello," said he.

"Um, hi," said she, lowering her gaze to her feet. She looked around nervously, trying to avoid the sight of Ryouga being pampered by Ryoko and ended up looking at what appeared to be Gosunkugi.

"Excuse me," she said quietly. "Excuse me?"

Ryo blinked, put down his newspaper, and looked around to find himself being addressed by the timid newcomer. "Yes, madam?" he asked.

"Are you... related to Hikaru?" she queried.

Ryo blinked. "Hikaru?"

"Um... Gosunkugi."

Ryo's face slumped into a frown. "No, madam." He grumpily resumed finishing his crossword puzzle.

"Sorry I didn't bring any food guys," said Ukyou with a smile, "share Akane's, I'm sure she's an okay cook now." Akane smiled at the compliment while Ranma and Ryouga paled. They _hoped_ her cooking improved... or that it was curry. "Anyways, I'll bring some stuff when I visit tomorrow,  
okay? See ya later, guys."

"Oh, wait up for me, I'll walk with ya," said Ryoko.

"See ya later, Ucchan!" said Ranma. Akane waved. Ryouga waved too,  
but in a rather embarrassed sort of way. First of all, he was embarrassed to have been pampered by Ryoko in front of Ukyou, and secondly, there was something familiar about that Manami girl. He shrugged off the nagging feeling and sighed as the three girls left.

Ryo hmmed, tapping the pencil on the paper.

One word.

Number two across.

Six letter word.

Destined to an ill fate.

He looked around briefly, then lazily inspected Ryouga.

D-O-O-M-E-D.

Ah, fits perfectly. No... wait...

D-A-M-N-E-D?

Hm...

Ryo shrugged. Either way, he liked it.

"So, you're a friend of Gosunkugi's, eh?" asked Ryoko.

Manami smiled slightly and nodded.

"Don'cha think he's kind of creepy?" wondered Ryoko.

"Hey, he's not that bad," said Ukyou. "Isn't that right, Manami?"

"He seems to be nice," she said quietly.

"Creepy," said Ryoko, "he looks just like my brother."

Manami giggled. "He does, doesn't he?"

"Strange, isn't it?" mused Ukyou. "Say... why'd you havta leave early?"

"Um... I kinda got a new job and I was visiting on my break."

"Job?" wondered Ukyou.

"Yeah... ah... they needed a waitress at King's Cafe, so..." she explained, slightly nervous.

"Oh. Say, why haven't I seen you at school?" wondered Ukyou.

"I'm already graduated," said Ryoko, shrugging. Before they could inquire further, she explained, "I'm a genius."

"Uh-huh," said Ukyou, "and next you'll tell me that everyone in your family is."

"We are," she said flatly. "We're going to have Kyoko enrolled in Furinkan High next month, by the way. She hasn't graduated yet."

"You're kidding."

"Anope. I'll show you my equivalency exam results sometime."

"If you're all geniuses, why hasn't Ryo beaten Ryouga yet?"

Ryoko smirked. "Intelligence doesn't necessarily mean wisdom.  
Definitely not in his case."

"Must be nice," said Manami, "being out of school early."

Ryoko shrugged again. "I guess I should go to college, but I have no idea what I want t'do."

"Oh," said she. Nobody seemed to notice the taint of melancholy that seemed to creep across her face and voice as she looked briefly at Ryoko.  
"Um," she said quietly, "are you really Ryouga's-"

"Hey, there's the workplace," said Ryoko, not noticing Manami's beginning question, "see you guys later! Swing by sometime, okay?"

She ran off into the building quickly, while Manami stood there saying,  
"wait, ah..."

"Something you wanted to ask her?" wondered Ukyou.

"It can wait, I guess." She sighed and looked down.

"Is something bothering you?" wondered Ukyou.

"No... is it far from my house?"

"Well, if the address is right, it's a little down this way and..."

THE NEXT DAY...

"Is... is something wrong, Manami?" asked Gosunkugi reluctantly. He really didn't want to bridge unpleasant subjects, but Manami's heavy melancholy state was too much to ignore.

Manami sighed.

Gosunkugi let the subject drop.

Unfortunately for him, she didn't.

"I..." she began, "I found the man I fell in love with, yesterday."

Gosunkugi blinked, not sure where this was heading. "I-is that right?"

"But he... he loves someone else," said she.

"W-what?" stammered Gosunkugi, feeling his heart sink. She was already in love with someone, and that was bad enough. "Maybe you... should forget him?"

Manami shook her head sadly. "He's the first boy I ever..." The words 'fell in love with' should have followed, but she was busy wiping her tears away.

Unfortunately, Gosunkugi misinterpreted that phrase entirely.

"What?! What's his name?"

"Hibiki," sighed Manami, "Ryouga Hibiki."

Gosunkugi's mind reeled in agony. This wasn't fair! Wasn't this sort of thing EXACTLY what he'd been trying to avoid? Again! Again with the martial artists taking all the nice women! How DARE he USE Manami and then toss her aside! _HIBIKI, YOU FOOL!_

Somewhere in Nerima, a rather normal (although if one would ask the Furinkan crowd, they'd say 'whoa, cute') looking girl and an abnormally large pig were strolling down the sidewalk, ignoring the occasional stares cast their way.

"Try not to wreck any more places, please?" asked the girl. "Mother and Father said that I'd have to pay for the next time you make a mess, so please behave."

The pig blinked, then grunted in reply, seeming to concede to his owner's command, and then a strong breeze hit.

"Hey, what the heck are these?" wondered Ryoko, holding up a small,  
round, chocolate candy of sorts while leaning against the bar.

"Truffles," replied King, polishing a few glasses. "Just some really expensive candy, really."

"What makes these things so special?" wondered Ryoko as she placed a rack of them in the glass display case.

"Well, they're somewhat rare. They use pigs to find'em then dig them out of the ground. That seems to be it."

"And truffles are...?"

King blinked. "are...?"

"What's the contents?"

"Oh. Fungus."

"Ewww."

*snort*snort*snort*

The gigantic sumo pig waved its snout in the air, sensing something.  
Akari didn't know what it could possibly be, but knew when her pig was about to go nuts.

"Katsunishiki! Don't!" Akari took hold of the giant pig's leash just as the creature bolted at *sub-sonic speeds.

[*sub-sonic is, technically, slower than sound. Therefore,  
technically, a dead snail could be moving at sub-sonic speeds. There would be better ways to describe exactly how fast the mighty sumo pig was running on that day, but none would sound quite as neat as 'sub-sonic'.]

"Hey boss, all done with the EYAAAAAH!"

*CRASH*WHAM*

Ms. King emerged from the back room, champagne bottle in hand. "What was that noi... oh no." The sight that greeted her was something she could honestly say was too ridiculous to be expected. A young girl in a sun dress and straw hat was holding on to leash and looking somewhat apologetic. Attached to the leash was a pig of proportions which she felt could only have been created by genetic experiments and radiation. The pig seemed to have smashed through the front door and plowed right into the display case full of truffles. Fortunately, the pig wasn't moving anymore, probably because of the iron croquet mallet buried into its skull by a very wide eyed and shaking Ryoko.

"This isn't my fault I swear!" said the malletress.

"Miss?" she asked the girl that was sheepishly holding the leash. "I assume that's your pig?"

"I-I'm sorry! I don't know what got into him!"

King sighed. She hated to be the villain in situations like this, but it had to be said. "Someone's going to have to pay for this."

Akari paled. Oh no.

Dear Mother and Father,

I am now in Nerima, still looking for a good husband just like Grandfather wants me to. There are plenty of strong people here, so going to Nerima was the right idea. But unfortunately, a lot of the strongest ones are in the hospital right now. I think it's because of that big accident with the power lines, the gas main, and the electricity lines that Katsunishiki got into.

I have registered for admission into Furinkan High school,  
just as Grandfather suggested. On my visit there, it did seem there was a lot of martial artists around, but they couldn't beat Katsunishiki. But, as I said before, I still haven't met the best of them.

I found that tree that Grandfather carved his initials into while he was attended Furinkan. Unfortunately, the tree is now a stump. I heard that one of the Furinkan students in the hospital was responsible for that.

Katsunishiki is behaving well. You have nothing to worry about. By the way, I've also found a job as a waitress at some place called 'King's Cafe'. It's a nice job, and the owner is a nice person.

Hope to return home with a husband soon, wish me luck. Miss you.

\- Akari Unryuu

*

A few hours later...

Dishes. She was beginning to hate'em.

Ryoko sighed as she scrubbed what felt like an endless line of dishes.  
She was on waitress duty a while ago, until some lout started hitting on her. She waited, patiently, until the customer stepped outside, then promptly beat the living daylights out of him.

King was not thrilled.

So to make sure that she didn't maul any more customers for the day,  
she had dish washing duty. It wasn't fair.

Her mood was slightly lightened as the sound of a saxophone coming from the main room drifted in with a slow, jazzy tune. The boss had told her she'd be hiring more people for the band, but was surprised that it was so soon.

Curious as to who was out there, she quickly dried her hands and peeked outside. At the far end of the room, in the small stage built for musicians, a lone saxophone player sat, his somewhat long hair covering his eyes, playing with a certain 'I don't care about anything else'  
attitude that was definitely familiar.

Oh no.

"Hey, you know that guy?" asked King as she quietly approached Ryoko.

"Yeah, my brother. You hired him?"

"Actually," said King, holding up a credit card, "he made the same mistake as you."

"Ouch."

"Does bad credit run in your family?" wondered King.

A FEW DAYS LATER...

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Ranma strode triumphantly into the Tendo house,  
expecting everyone waiting and ready with a warm welcome. Instead, he found Nabiki.

"Oh, hi, welcome back," she said, looking up from her copy of Financial Week.

Ranma blinked. "Hey, where's everybody?"

"Well," said Nabiki, "Daddy and Uncle are out, on a training trip, I think they said. Kasumi is currently out shopping. And I'm right here."  
She smiled brightly then resumed ignoring him.

Something didn't seem right here. That sixth sense that detected danger was nagging at him. "And where's Akane?"

That question was soon answered by a loud clanging noise from the kitchen and a loud "HYAAAH!"

"She's not..." wondered Ranma.

"It isn't going to be curry," said Nabiki, "that much I know."

"B-but why?! I just got outta the hospital!"

"Love's funny that way, isn't it?" Nabiki smirked.

"Aw man, this ain't good."

"RANMA! I HEARD THAT!"

Ranma paled. {Oh no.}

The rent was cheap. The room wasn't exactly spacious, but it could fit the four of them well enough. The location wasn't bad, near the train stations and minutes away from his target.

"Isn't it cool?" chirped Kyoko.

Ryo hmmed. "Not bad. It will do, for now."

Outside, the sounds of a party of sorts were raging. Ryo winced at that. "Too bad about the neighbors."

"They seem nice to me," observed the youngest Muhoshin.

"How nice. Has the rent been paid?"

"Um... I think sis payed for two months."

"Speaking of sisters, where is she anyways?"

"New job."

"About time she contributed to the income. And Megs?"

"New Job."

"Amazing." He snickered briefly, knowing exactly why they'd gotten jobs. He'd cut off those cards just in time, too. It was hard to arrange for those cards to begin with, but if you spend idiotic amounts like those two fools did, the odds of keeping the scam running would be ruined. He'd have to talk to his contacts and bargain for some more cards soon.

Ryo settled unto a futon and sighed. The building didn't thrill him at all, but it was cheap in rent. "Yes, for now, this will do, although I'm slightly embarrassed about it all..."

This was embarrassing.

Ryouga sighed, folding up the map in his hands. Even with the map and the compass he'd still managed to get himself lost. It was a relief to get out of the hospital at last. However, all this walking he was doing would certainly dismay all the doctors.

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!"

He sighed, looked around one more time, then continued his journey. He had a nagging feeling that he'd forgotten something, but tossed that thought aside. It couldn't be too important, now could it?

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE HOSPITAL...

"That JERK!"

Patients, nurses, and doctors cleared the way as an irate chef stormed out of the hospital lobby. Ukyou was, obviously, furious. Didn't she tell him to wait for her? Didn't she? And what did that idiot do?

He wandered off without her, that's what he did. And now he'd miss several days MORE of school, which she'd have to brief him on, and she'd be without help at the restaurant again.

She knew what the problem was, probably. That damned Hibiki pride. That state of mind that Ryouga showed every now and then that insisted that he DIDN'T need anybody's help. The jerk. Yes, that's probably what happened. The jerk was trying to show off by finding his way back by himself. What an ego!

Once, Ukyou was a generally less violent person. That time being between after finding Ranma in Nerima, and during the first few weeks after Ranma and Akane made their engagement official. This was, not coincidentally, the time when Ryouga had moved in with her. From that point onward, she could see why Ranma wasn't that fond of the idiot.  
Since then, her temper had been steadily getting shorter. And once in a while, she found it rather eerie how she was behaving. Almost like...  
almost like Akane used to.

Ugh.

This was his fault.

Having to find out what he missed in his classes so that he wouldn't fall behind (not that he asked her to, but if she didn't do it, who would?). Having to manage the store alone again (although she'd done it alone before, she was so used to having him help her).

And now she was losing her temper too much and it was definitely HIS FAULT. If she didn't worry about him so much, she'd kill him.

She was so angry, she could scream.

And she did.

"RYOUGA YOU IDIOT!"

Ryouga sneezed.

It was getting a little windy. He wished he was indoors, it wouldn't do to get a cold or flu right after he recovered. Ucchan's would be a really nice sight right about now. Heck, Ukyou would be a nice sight right about now.

At that moment, Ryouga finally remembered what was nagging on the edge of his memory. Oops. He hoped she wasn't too upset.

Then he heard her voice.

Although it wasn't exactly what he was expecting.

It went something like this:

"RYOUGA YOU IDIOT!"

Ryouga paled. Uh oh.

-  
-end part 1- 


	3. Nerima By Night

The nights in Nerima are sometimes surprisingly peaceful. There may be nights when the gigantic monsters don't roam the streets wrecking houses.  
There are times when Mishima Heavy Industries DOESN'T send out a ridiculously big mechanized assault vehicle through the neighborhood after some girl with bionic abilities. There are times when the place almost seems normal.

The last several weeks were like that. It was no surprise, considering the more violent population of Nerima was stuck in the hospital for the duration. However, things don't last forever, and tonight was the first night that they were all back. Despite this, it was looking to be yet another peaceful night. Possibly.

Tonight could have been a night like that.

It wasn't.

As if part of a wave effect, bedroom light after bedroom light opened up in houses next to each other, in apartments, in hotels. Each flick of the light was accompanied by a scream of horror.

Hidden safely in the shadows of a roof, a figure giggled wickedly. His eyes glowed a bloody shade of red. His hands trembled in anticipation as he stroked the fine silk string in his hands.

"They thought they could stop me? Me? No man has stopped me! Ever!"

*WHAP* "PERVERT!" Ukyou grinned wickedly, putting her assault-spatula away. "Teach _him_ not to mess with my laundry..." she grumbled.

Happosai sailed on, across the skies. "Well, no man," he admitted to himself, "but maybe some women once or twice..."

======================== The Pursuit of Happiness

Act 1

Part 2

Nerima By Night ========================

Happosai hopped from rooftop to rooftop, carrying his ever-growing bag of female undergarments with him.

The wind was in his face.

The rush of adrenaline as he makes the perfect theft.

The silky smoooooth panties, powering up his fighting spirit.

This was what living was all about.

This, and sex. But he hadn't gotten much of that for several decades,  
so the panties would have to do for now.

And speaking of which, it was time to enjoy the night's bounty...

He held a panty up to his nose and inhaled deeply.

"BLECH! BLECHBLECHBLECH! AAAACK! PTUI!"

Happosai laid on the floor, twitching and in pain. "Something...  
wrong... with...panty... BLECH!"

The window was open.

The drawers were open.

They were also empty.

"Hey! Somebody stole my panties!"

Tsubasa angrily shut his window. Well, he thought, there's gonna be some improvements in house security for sure.

Ukyou looked from her storefront window to the night sky outside. One of these days, she thought, I really oughta leave this town, if only for a while.

Really.

There's nothing hold me here, is there?

She sighed and closed the shutters on the front windows.

Something was missing.

"Ryouga? Hey, Ryouga, where'd ya go?"

She looked in the kitchen.

It seemed that he'd already done his job there. The dishes and the stove was cleaned out. But Ryouga was nowhere in sight.

"I'm going to buy that idiot a pager one of these days," she muttered.

Ryo Muhoshin stared uneasily into the night. The money from his last job was running out. He knew enough to make a few shrewd investments, but that was only delaying the inevitable. He didn't want to do this, it wasn't his style, but it had to be done. He sighed internally, cursing life, cursing fate, cursing bureaucracy, wished that he was more recovered from his hospital stay (he wasn't feeling quite at 100% yet) and accepted his current destiny.

He slipped the money from the safe into his jacket and quietly raced for the open window in the distance.

Burglary wasn't like assassination or security detail. He didn't get to hit anybody. He didn't get to use his martial arts training. He had to be _not_ flamboyant.

It wasn't much fun at all.

That didn't mean that he was above it, though.

= = = Tsubasa brushed his long brown hair out of his eyes and concentrated on the main circuit board of his Postal 210 disguise battle mech. He chewed on his cigar, tossed the beer can away, and mulled over the design flaws.

"Hell with it, it's good enough," he said, in a gruff voice.

He hopped into the Postal 210, flipped a switch that activated the tank treads, and drove off into the night.

Several minutes later, his first victim appeared.

"SAOTOME! PREPARE TO DIE!" Tsubasa yelled into the microphone.

The Mishima Heavy industries 3-way Super-bass speakers boomed his message across the neighborhood.

Ranma, who had just gone for a midnight jog, looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Tsubasa grinned wickedly and flipped a switch, turning a mere post office box with tank treads into a 15 foot tall monstrosity of a mech.

"Jeez!" yelled Ranma and sprinted down the street.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY!"

Ranma ran uselessly down the street and suddenly they were in front of Ukyou's restaurant.

"Hey! Help! Ukyou! Ryouga! Anybody!" Ranma nervously yelled.

Tsubasa flipped another switch and a deadly blade popped out of one of the Postal 210's arms. "This is the end, Saotome." Tsubasa said.

The arm flung down with Ranma dead in it's sights.

Tsubasa grinned triumphantly.

Ranma froze in terror.

Suddenly, the mech was rocked on its side as the yell "Shishi Houkoudan!" bellowed forth. The blade smashed to the left of Ranma, who scrambled away quickly.

Tsubasa swiveled the mech cameras around. "HIBIKI!" he yelled into the microphone, "SO YOU WANNA DIE TONIGHT TOO? FINE!" Tsubasa wanted to enjoy the elimination of his enemies, i.e. using a really big blade, but he realized that sometimes it didn't pay to have too much fun at work. After all, that's how the heroes always escape. Tsubasa flipped a switch and several Mishima Heavy Industries Inc. precision lasers popped out of the Postal 210's shoulders. "DIE!" he yelled, and pulled hard on the trigger.

Tsubasa emerged from his mech and stood before two piles of ash. He looked at them solemly, and then kicked them into the winds. "So long,  
suckers!" he yelled (in a surprisingly gruff, deep baritone voice) and lit up a cigar.

Ukyou emerged from her restaurant, shocked. Tsubasa looked at her and smiled. "Hey, Ucchan. Come on over here."

She looked at the ashes scattered all over the place. "You killed them?" she asked.

"Yup." He took another puff from his cigar.

"Oh thank you!" she yelled, and rushed into his arms. "Ranma was just so annoying the way he got free food all the time! And Ryouga too! Oh,  
thank you for getting rid of those freeloading bums!"

"T'was nothin'" Macho-Tsubasa said.

She turned her eyes towards his, looking deeply. She leaned forward,  
presenting her lips.

"But you'll give up this silly business with the mechs, right?"

Tsubasa froze. "But... but... I _like_ mechs!"

"What would you rather have, mechs? Or _me_."

He couldn't believe this. A couple of months ago this would be an easy question. But now, he couldn't decide...

"I... um... you..."

"Tsubasa-chan?" Ukyou was getting impatient.

"Can't I, um, can't I do, er, have both?"

"TSUBASA YOU JERK!"

*CLANG*

"Ow!" Tsubasa said, rubbing his head. He groggily looked around. "Oh," he said, realizing that he'd fallen asleep while working on the Postal 210 again. Tsubasa pondered continuing his work, but decided that working while groggy would just lead to construction errors.

No need to be nervous! he reminded himself. The interview with Mishima Heavy Industries is tomorrow... THEY are the ones that contacted me, right? Of course they'll take me in! I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me!

Tsubasa yawned, rubbing the gear-shaped dent in his forehead, and went to his room for a rest. "Oh my, that's going to bruise! I wonder if makeup can hid it."

Out on a ledge in downtown Tokyo, seventy floors up, Ryo Muhoshin crept slowly upwards.

Okay, Ryo thought, almost there. High risk but high reward. There was a corporation out there that wanted the latest specs from MendoTech, and they put out the word that they were willing to pay whatever it took to get the information.

Just a bit higher... R&amp;D was on the 73rd floor.

Maybe MendoTech was one tough corporation owned by one tough and crazy family. The Mendo Clan even had their own _army_, commanded by their crazy little heir. It took a brave guy to mess with that family.

And that guy is me Ryo reassured himself.

Then it happened.

He sensed a presence. Someone was up there with him.

"Hold it right there!" an unbearably cute voice said.

"Right," he replied.

There was a long silence.

"You don't want to know who I am?"

"I should ask, I guess?" Suddenly, a girl appeared. It wasn't just an ordinary girl. She was glowing pink, dressed in a sailor outfit. And she was floating in the air.

"I am Magical Girl Kuruma!" she said proudly, striking some odd pose that, Ryo guessed, was supposed to be impressive.

"Magical... Girl... Kuruma?" Ryo's expression was blank.

"You... you mean you've never heard of me?"

"Can't say that I have, no. Terribly sorry."

"Hm..." Kuruma looked at him with a confused expression on her face. She _thought_ she sensed a supernatural disturbance, but there was only this ordinary guy on a building.

"So what're you doing up here anyways?" she asked.

"Honestly? Well, you could say I'm getting information."

"You mean industrial espionage?"

"Rather negative way of looking at things, isn't it?"

Magical Girl Kuruma looked deep in thought for a moment. Well, she pondered, there wasn't any demons or spirits running amuck like she was used to dealing with, but there _was_ this guy doing obviously criminal activity. But she'd never had to deal with "people" bad guys, just supernatural stuff.

Ryo held on the side of the building, wondering what was supposed to happen next.

"I guess I oughta stop you," she said.

"I was hoping you wouldn't. New at this?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Ah. I see." Ryo didn't like fighting girls. That didn't mean that he was above that sort of thing. It just left a certain distaste in his mind afterwards. Besides, the girl said she was magical, and the last encounter with magic stripped him of some very serious powers.

Magic was something he'd learned to hate.

Ryo slowly edged away from the girl. There wasn't much room to move on the ledge. Not enough to fight, either. If she had a blast-type attack he knew he would be in trouble.

Magical Girl Kuruma held out her hand, where a staff appeared out of nowhere. It had a giant red glowing crystal heart at its tip. She pointed it at Ryo.

"Crystal Heart Entrapment!"

The crystal glowed.

Not much else happened.

"Curiosity demands," said Ryo, "that I ask if something was supposed to happen?"

"Well, you were supposed to be entrapped in crystal until the authorities come and get you."

"Indeed... You've done this before?"

"Don't be silly! Of course I have!" She had indeed, on people and demons. There wasn't a reason for it not to work now.

"That staff, it's magical?" he asked.

"Yup."

Ryo touched the heart with a finger. The crystal dimmed considerably. This, he thought, was rather interesting.

"Ribbon wrap!" Kuruma pulled a ribbon from her hair and lashed it at Ryo. It circled around him, and then went lame.

"I assume that was a magical device as well?" asked Ryo.

"Well, yeah..."

"How, may I ask, are you floating?" Ryo was getting an idea.

"It's all magic."

Gears turned over in Ryo's mind. He was never immune to magic. Gosunkugi certainly proved that. However, so far things were proving different... or this particular magical girl was incredibly incompetent.

Ryo grinned wickedly. He had an idea.

Before she could dodge, he reached out and touched her arm. Immediately, she started plummeting to the concrete streets below.

"Interesting," he said, watching her fall.

Before she hit the pavement, Magical Girl Kuruma managed to find the ability to fly again, and narrowly avoided concrete death. She angrily zoomed back to Ryo.

"That wasn't nice!" she yelled. "How'd you do that?"

"I have no idea. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some information to retrieve." Ryo casually ignored the girl and resumed climbing up.

Magical Girl Kuruma didn't like being ignored. "THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" With an excess of flair and dramatic motion, she pulled out a cellular phone and started dialing.

Ryo frowned. "Fine, fine, I'm going." He opened his umbrella and jumped off, floating to the streets below.

Nodoka Saotome looked into the night sky, feeling some measure of warmth knowing that somewhere out there, her son was looking at the very same stars. She sat in the park, wondering how her son was doing. Was he eating right? Was he treating Akane properly? Was he a Man Amongst Men?

How was Genma? She missed him so very much.

Suddenly, she noticed a movement in the park and readied her katanna.

The figure came closer... closer... and then veered to another sidewalk path in the park. Nodoka examined the figure in the darkness of the night.

"Akane?" she said quietly. What was she doing out here? It seemed rather late for a jog around the neighborhood. After all, there could be some real strange people out there.

She put her katanna away.

Nodoka was about to go home for the night when she saw someone else.

Following Akane.

How DARE anyone threaten the fiancee of her son! Nodoka readied her katanna once more and followed the figure.

After a few minutes, Akane came to a stop for a brief rest.

Ranma hid behind a water fountain, watching over her. He didn't like these late jogs. They just weren't safe. Who knows what kind of weirdos were out there at this time of night?

Suddenly, he felt the cold steel of a blade against the back of his neck.

"You there," a woman's voice commandingly said, "what do you think you're doing? I should call the police, or better yet just kill you."

"Er... it's not what you think."

"Do tell."

"Look, she's my fiancee and I just, just, just wanna make sure nobody does nothin weird to her."

"Fiancee?" she asked.

Akane noticed the noise coming from behind the water fountain and looked. Her face froze in shock.

Ranma suddenly realized where he heard this woman's voice before.

Nodoka turned the word "fiancee" over in her head.

"Son?" she asked.

Ranma turned around slooowly. He saw his mother. Holding a katanna. "YAAAAH!" he screamed, and stumbled back.

Into the fountain.

Akane slapped her head in disbelief. Foolish boy!

Nodoka looked on, stunned. "Ran... Ranko? You're Ranko? WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS! GENMAAAAAAAAAA!"

Suddenly an obese panda fell from the sky, landing in front of Nodoka. She aimed her blade at its forehead. "Genma! Explain this NOW!"

"Rowf?" the panda said, startled.

He held a sign up desperately. /I SWEAR, I'M JUST A PANDA!/

"Don't play innocent with ME anymore, you lying BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON?!"

She swung the blade down hard...

"ROWF!" Genma yelled as he bolted upright.

Wait a minute.

"Rowf?" he muttered.

*CLONK* "Hey, keep it down, pop! I'm tryin' to sleep!" Ranma angrily muttered.

Genma shook his head vigorously.

He wasn't in his panda form.

He tried his vocal abilities once more: "ahem."

That's better.

"Mm. I hate when that happens."

Genma went off to find a glass of water. After all, it was easier to deal with the cold winter nights as a panda.

Ryouga, wrapped in a thick jacket and traveling clothes, sat atop the rooftop of Ucchan's admiring the stars. The stars in winter always seemed a bit clearer to him. In the summertime, the starlight was too easily covered up by the city lights or by clouds.

But in the winter it was different. He didn't know why, but it just was.

He idly twirled his compass necklace around.

"Ryouga? Hey, where'd you go?" Ukyou yelled. She was closing up the store when she noticed that the resident navigationally-impaired boy was missing. After living with him for the past several months, she knew he was either lost hopelessly or up on the roof.

"Up here!"

"Hey, Ryouga, what'cha doin?" Ukyou asked as she climbed unto the roof.

"Just stargazing. Maybe it's silly, but I like to do it."

"No, it's not silly. Ran-chan does it a lot in the summer."

Something he has in common with Ranma? Blech.

"Jeez, it's cold out here. Hey, mind if I join ya?" asked Ukyou.

"Sure. No problem," said Ryouga.

"Thanks." She flipped up to the roof and made her way next to Ryouga,  
shivering slightly in her own thick jacket.

"What's keeping you up?" asked Ryouga.

"Oh, just things, I guess. Life. The universe. Stuff."

"You really thinking about closing down the restaurant?"

"Maybe. If Nabiki's estimates are right, I can live off of the profits from some investment picks she's got lined up."

"Hm..."

"Hey, don't worry about a place to stay. You can stay here even if I shut down the place."

"You sure?"

"What are friends for, right?"

They settled in once more, looking out into infinity. Stars swirling around other stars...

"Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking but," asked Ukyou, "what's going on with you and Ryoko?"

"Eh? I... she... I'm not... I mean..."

"Well, she seem kinda sweet, and she seems to really be in love with you, Ryouga."

"Yeah, but I dunno. I don't think that I... well... argh! How'd Ranma ever handle these things?!"

"You in love with her?"

"Well?"

"I don't know. Never had a girl ever tell me she loved me before. I've always been a loner, y'know? This love thing, it's new to me. I mean, er, you, um, how'd you know... er..."

"Hm?"

Ryouga sighed. " ... never mind."

"Hey," said Ukyou in a sleepy tone, "if you don't feel the same, tell her. Tell'er now. No sense in dragging things out and breaking a girl's... *yawn*... heart, y'know?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Ryouga. "I wouldn't want to end up making all the mistakes Ranma made."

"Hey, we still going on that training trip this weekend?" she asked.

Ryouga nodded. "The weather's supposed to be much nicer this weekend,  
according to the news reports. I hope so."

Ukyou yawned once more, stretched, and sighed. "Well, I'm done for the day. See ya inside, sugar."

"G'night, Ukyou."

And once more, as was before, Ryouga was alone. Although he didn't feel too bad about it. After a while longer, he slowly drifted off into sleep.

And then he started walking.

Restless.

That was the word to describe her at the moment. She wasn't sure why,  
but she was. Maybe it was that horror movie on TV she'd watched? She never did take scary movies very well. Or maybe it was the affect of inactivity? She hadn't sparred with anyone in a while and was itching to,  
really. It couldn't have been the coffee that she (and she was rather proud of it) managed to brew earlier. After all, aside from the initial odd sting, it tasted like normal coffee. Nah, couldn't be the coffee.

Akane turned in her bed, turned again, and finally decided that sleep wasn't something she was ready for just yet...

Ranma waited in the delivery room, anxious to see his first child.

"I'm gonna be a dad. _I_ am gonna be a _dad_. Wow." he muttered as he nervously paced around the floor.

"Mr. Saotome?" a nurse called from behind the doors of the operating room.

"Yeah? That's me! What's happening?"

"Congratulations, Mr. Saotome!" the nurse said, guiding him into the operating room, "you're a father!"

Akane was resting on the bed, cradling a small infant in her arms. She smiled warmly, in the way that only moms do.

"A.. Akane?" Ranma nervously asked. "Can I.. I.."

Akane smiled and held the baby forward for Ranma to hold. He cradled it gently in his arms, feeling overwhelmed. The child already had a few locks of hair on its head.

"Say, is it a boy or a girl?" he murmured as he tapped the baby gently on the cheek.

Akane took a glass of water.

"Wha-"

And poured some gently on the baby.

"-t?"

And it's hair turned red.

"Ah.. no.. nonono... it isn't..."

Everyone in the operating room happily shook their heads.

"Congrats, honey," Akane cheerily said, "it's both!" "NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

*FWAP* /QUIET!/ "Rwowr!"

"Huh? Oh. Sorry, pop."

Ranma sat upright, shaking badly. He took deep breaths.

"Only a dream. Only a dream."

He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep any more that night, and headed off to the kitchen for a late night binge. He wasn't sure if that would calm him down, but it always worked for his dad.

As he got up, Ranma heard footsteps. He quietly opened his door.

Nobody.

He crept downstairs.

Nobody.

Then he heard the front door open. Ranma snuck to the front just in time to see Akane leaving in her jogging outfit.

"What the..." What time was it? Didn't she know it was too damn early for a jog?

"Stupid girl," he muttered.

This wasn't his problem. No sir. Nope. If the tomboy wants to go jogging around in the city while it's dark and cold and late and dangerous...

He sighed.

"Dammit. Dammitdammitdammit." He went back to his room for a quick change of clothes and then headed out the door.

"Stupid girl. Stupid stupid girl." he muttered. Just great. Something else for him to worry about. That girl was a real pain sometimes, even if he was in love with her.

Ranma jogged out into the night, looking for Akane. Had to make sure her fiancee was alright.

After all, there's strange people out there.

= = = Meanwhile, elsewhere, more nerfarious deeds were underway.

Happosai snuck into the large mansion, entirely undetected and evading all the security precautions that this abode sported. This particular place was one spot he had his eye on for quite a while now. Not only was the lady of the house one sexy woman, she had expensive lingerie. Top dollar panties. Creme de la creme.

Ha-cha-cha.

As he zoomed stealthily down the hallways, he found his target, the main bedroom, and snuck quietly inside...

* * *  
Ryo scaled the wall of the mansion. This, he knew, would pay off big. This estate was owned by one _rich_ lady. In fact, it was owned by a lady that he was _briefly_ quite fascinated with. It was unfortunate that he had to resort to thieving from her, but the payoff from this little expedition would keep him financed for a week.

He opened the window and crept inside...

Happosai dug through the drawers and grinned like the devil. Panties! Ultra-silky, ultra-smooth panties! He dove into the drawer and immersed himself totally in undergarments.

*BANG*

And then his world went black.

Ryo felt around the walls, behind the paintings, with no luck.

Where was the safe?

He decided to dig into the closet. Maybe it was ther-

*BANG*

"Ow!" he silently muttered. Ryo looked down. The lady left her panty drawer open and he slammed his leg into the damn thing.

He nervously looked at the bed, where a rather stunning beauty of a woman was lying there, asleep, in a rather stunning and very see-through nightgown.

"Niiiihaoo," Ryo muttered, admiring the view. He stifled off a nosebleed, shook himself back into reality, and went off to the closet. Maybe the safe was in there...

Happosai's senses were put on alert. Somebody, maybe the lady, had just closed the damn drawer on him. Whoever it was seemed to be moving away. Happosai, demonstrating amazing strength for a man his size, opened the drawer from the inside and looked around.

Hm... seemed the lady went back to sleep.

The lady.

In the see-through nightgown.

And those... those...

"Oh my," he croaked.

Hm? He just said "oh my"? Where on earth did that come from? Happosai shook his head. Must've spent too much time around Kasumi. He struggled with all his might and turned _away_ from the sight of those...  
those... well, he turned away and headed for the closet. There wasn't any bras in the drawer, so he was hoping they were stored there. Those, and maybe some more of those exquisite nightgowns.

Happosai happily made his way into the closet and was burying himself in a hung silky item which he hoped was a negligee when suddenly...

Ryo, in the dark, felt around the walls of the crowded closet.

Shoes.

Skirts.

Shoes.

Shoes.

Something with spikes... _heeello_ He blushed a bit and put the rather revealing item of leatherwear back down.

Shoes.

Shoes.

What is it with women and shoes?

Hm... what else... he felt around blindly...

Something silky, warm, softish and round.

Erm. Ahem.

Silky?

Soft?

Warm?

Round?

Happosai sweated nervously. He was caught. Deep in enemy territory.

And stuck in a negligee.

Ryo sweated nervously. Not only was he robbing the girl, now he could be charged with sexual assault.

Very slowly, Ryo let go and reached for the light switch.

=CLICK=

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Thieves!" *WHAP*

Kodachi twirled her ribbon madly, but by the time her eyes adjusted to the light, the burglars were gone.

One seemed to have left something behind...

She opened the bag.

"Panties?"

Ryo ran furiously into the cold winter night. "Damn you, old man! You ruined everything!" As he landed on a rooftop, he swung his umbrella wildly at Happosai.

"What about me, huh? Curse you for interfering! I lost my whole bag of panties!" Happosai angrily flung a dozen bombs at Ryo and hopped to another rooftop. He fumbled slightly on his landing. Being trapped inside a negligee usually did that to small people.

Ryo jumped in pursuit as another Nerima home was overly-ventilated (*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*) and he flung a ki-blast out towards the mini-megapervert, who dodged it easily. "You die tonight!"

"Oh? Is that so?" said Happosai, who suddenly let loose with a flying kick that sent Ryo across the skies and into the park, slamming into a fountain. "Tonight, foolish young man, you shall feel the wrath of Happosai!" The little man bounded away, the negligee flapping madly,  
chasing after his victim.

Ranma muttered angrily, "stupid girl, stupid girl..." as he ran silently into the night. She was taking her usual route, around the neighborhood, through the park, and around across a newly repaired bridge. That's the usual route she took in the mornings, Ranma knew, since once or twice he had decided to follow her, merely out of curiosity.

Well, that's what it seemed she was doing tonight anyways. They did the neighborhood thing and were cutting across the park, and...

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

Bomb explosions. Damn. Happosai. *WHAM* "Ow!"

Akane was almost out of the park when she heard it.

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

Bomb explosions.

Damn.

Happosai.

*WHAM*

Something flew by her.

"Ow!"

And hit somebody behind her? Akane looked back curiously.

Imbedded into the water fountain was Ryo, who was currently cushioned from his impact by Ranma-chan.

"Ranma?" Akane wondered what he was doing here. She approached cautiously.

"Happosaaaaaiiiii!" Ryo roared as he shoved off of something in his attempt to get up.

"Gedoffame!" Ranma yelled as Ryo shoved her in the face. He grabbed Ryo's arm and twisted it.

"Gah! WHO DARES?!" Ryo yelled. He wasn't in the mood for any more inconveniences. He twisted violently and spun around, slashing wildly with his umbrella. He heard a shriek.

"Akane!" Ranma-chan called out. She flung Ryo into a tree and went to her. "Are you okay?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Akane's hand was bleeding.

"I'm okay," she said, "it's just a cut."

"Dammit! He's dead!" Ranma-chan charged angrily at Ryo. "Nobody hurts my fiancee!" She aimed a jump-kick at his head.

*BONK*

And was knocked out of her flight by something...

"Sorry, Ranma, but that one is mine!" Happosai said from somewhere in the darkness. Happosai's laughter was heard from far above.

"Ranma? I don't see any Ranma..." Ryo muttered. Just some irate redhead. Worry about the minor distractions later, he had a fool to fry. Ryo looked up into the trees, searching for his enemy.

*BONK*

Ryo stumbled back. Something had hit him on the nose.

*BONK*

And on the head. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of things falling all around him. Lots of round, small things with fuses...

Ryo lashed out with the hook-end of his umbrella into one of the trees and pulled hard, pulling back a surprised Happosai. "Old man, you will...  
will..."

There was a sound.

Hissing.

Ryo suffered a quick flashback to the fight that put him in the hospital. He would never forget the sound... of bomb fuses burning.

This was that sound.

"Aiyah..."

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

Habits are a very hard thing to break.

Birds migrate, snakes rattle, and Ryouga walked in his sleep, looking for Akane's bed where he would get a night of snuggling with her as P-Chan.

One would think this sort of thing would get him in dire trouble, given his horrible navigational skill. But this is a Hibiki, a very strange breed that doesn't behave exactly as one would expect him to. Yes, Ryouga did sometimes wander far in his sleep, and yes, he'd wander far, sometimes incredibly far, but he would _always_find_his_way_back_ to where he'd begun sleeping before he woke up.

That is, he'd find his way back unless he was 1) in his cursed state and 2) found Akane's bed, or something like it.

It was truly amazing how many young ladies across the globe out there woke up with a little black piglet next to them.

As Ryouga stumbled around in the dark, asleep, he tripped over a bucket of water (as the Nerima/Jusenkyou Water Magnet Law demanded), turning him into a her.

Then she made a coincidental left turn here, and right turn there... and sensed a bed nearby.

Her subconscious made a judgement call.

Cursed form? Yes.

Bed nearby? Yes.

Akane? Seems like it.

Snuggle.

Ranma held her close, her face buried in his manly chest.

"Oh Ranma," she said, and gently nuzzled his neck.

He held her tighter.

Ukyou worked her way up to his ear, nibbling on it gently.

He started to moan.

Then his face changed...

Ukyou looked up to his eyes, confused. "Ryouga?!" *

Ukyou woke up.

In bed.

With a female Ryouga.

"EEEEEEEEEK! YOU PERVERT!"

*POW*

Ryouga slept a dreamless sleep. Then things got unexpectedly erotic. She dreamed as a he, of course, and at the moment, as a he, he dreamed of Ukyou, in a negligee.

Ukyou? Hm.

This had to be a dream. She'd pound him into the ground if she caught him looking at her while she was in _that_ outfit. He shrugged in his dream, guessing that maybe he was over Akane after all.

Although the question 'why Ukyou?' did flicker briefly in his mind.

All was forgotten as Ukyou leaned on him ever so closely and nuzzled his neck, worked her way up, and gently nibbled on his ear.

What a dream. So realistic too...

"EEEEEEEEEEEK! YOU PERVERT!" *POW*

Suddenly he was flying. That's funny. He never dreamed of flying before. Boy, when that Ukyou puts her lips on a guy...

A slightly charred Ryo and Happosai hopped across the nighttime skies of downtown Tokyo, exchanging blows and insults. Ranma-chan and Akane were in pursuit, wanting to get their hands on either one.

Happosai dashed across a skyscraper rooftop but tripped on the landing. Ryo saw the opening and aimed the blade of his umbrella downwards. "NOW OLD MAN, YOU DIE! *OOF*"

Ryo was knocked clumsily off his trajectory by something heavy,  
slamming into him hard, plowing into Happosai, then through the roof and into a bathhouse.

Right into the hot water.

And on the women's side.

Ranma and Akane peered into the hole in the roof. At this point, they both noticed the naked ladies scrambling about. Ranma tried to look away before Akane whapped him to look in the other direction. He did look away, but as a matter of principal, she whapped him anyways.

A brief minute later, after some enraged screams, three martial artists were violently tossed out. Two of them were trying to hold back nosebleeds (one via black and yellow bandanna, the other via hankerchief)  
and the third one was feeling better than ever.

And he was still tangled in Kodachi's negligee.

"Nice t'meet ya, lovely ladies!" cackled Happosai, running off into the distance. This night was turning out to be absolutely fabulous for him,  
with an invigorating swim amongst the pretty ladies and a few martial artists to play with. "Catch me if you can, boys!" he taunted, then sprang back into the rooftops.

Meanwhile, Ranma and Akane were running to catch up, while Ryo and Ryouga got up after giving each other scowls. Once more, they chased after the megapervert.

"Idiot!" sneered Ryo, "I had the old wretch in my sights and YOU-""

"Shut up." Ryouga was sleepy, tired, and in no mood for Kuno-esque rants and raves. As he landed on the next roof, his footing wobbled underneath him and he fell ungracefully.

On Happosai.

"Ow!" the old lech croaked. He grabbed Ryouga's leg and slammed him into the pavement, berating himself for pausing too long while trying to figure out which direction Victoria's Secret was from this particular roof. It was a shame, really, he felt he should have that memorized by now.

Ryouga got up quickly, anger reviving him. "That's it! I-" *WHAM* He was slammed forward, his head propelled by Ranma's feet. His own feet scrambled violently, knocking Happosai into a cement wall.

"Oops. Sorry 'bout that, Ryouga."

"Ranmaaa! How DARE you!"

"Hey! It was an accident! I was jumpin' already, YOU got in the way!"

"Hey!" yelled Akane, landing violently on Ranma's head with her feet,  
"Cut it out already!"

Happosai had enough. It was time to stop fooling around. He had been abused and kicked around enough for one night, and it was time to put an end to it. "FOOLS! WITNESS THE ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS SECRET ATTACK!"

Akane was confused. "He're gonna to run away?"

"NO! THAT'S THE _SAOTOME_ SECRET TECHNIQUE!" roared Happosai. The pint-size pervert began to glow brightly, causing Ranma-chan, Akane, and Ryouga scrambled back in panic. They'd seen Happosai's enlarged battle aura before, but this was different. The old man's aura wasn't growing. _He_ was growing.

"Hey, Ranma?" asked Ryouga.

"What?!"

"Saotome Anything Goes Secret Technique?"

"Good idea. RUN AWAY!"

Ryo blinked in confusion as the three scrambled for safety. Feh,  
cowards. He spat into his hands and readied his umbrella. It was going to be one of _those_ nights? Well, that was just fine for him. Ryo hadn't gotten into a serious fight in a long while. He was way overdue and needed to take his stress out on somebody.

He noticed with surprising calm that even though Happosai was growing,  
his clothes weren't shredding. In fact, they were growing too...

Weird.

Oh well. Time to kill.

"BANZAIIII!"

=============== =AFTERMATH= ===============

[6:00am]

She wondered where the pervert went off to.

How DARE he slip into her bed!

She was, for a while, mad, incredibly mad, bordering on murderously mad. But now that she had time to cool down and think on it, she wasn't mad anymore.

She was scheming.

Sooner or later, he'd never know when, he'd never know where, but he'd PAY for that.

Ukyou shook her head, realizing that she was ranting in her mind about Ryouga again, and that wouldn't do at all. Stress, after all,  
was not a healthy thing. She needed a distraction.

Tv. That would do. Morning tv usually isn't promising, but at least it took her mind off the problem. She turned it on, hoping to be distracted.

/A crisis of gigantic proportions here this morning in downtown Tokyo-/

"Whoa..." She was shocked at what she was seeing. She always knew Happosai was a danger, but she'd never imagined this.

Several blocks away, Ryouga stumbled towards Ucchan's. He knew it was around here somewhere. At this moment he was grateful to be alive, and with all his limbs intact.

It seemed like the start of a fine day in the Tendo household. Kasumi was up early getting the breakfast meal ready, Nabiki was just waking up,  
and Genma... was looking for Ranma.

"Where is that boy?! He's missing our morning sparring session!" he yelled, as he entered the main room.

Soun ran up frantically and grabbed Soun by the shoulders. "Saotome! Akane's missing!"

Genma hmmed seriously for a moment, stroking his chin. Soun joined him in contemplation.

"You don't think they..." started Soun.

"Well, Tendo," replied a grinning Genma, "would it be particularly bad if they did...?"

Suddenly, both of them began a dance of joy, with much confetti being tossed about.

As if on cue, a very tired, somewhat dusty looking Akane entered through the front door. Her hair and clothes were a mess.

"Akane! Where have you been?" asked Soun.

Ranma entered the house. He was slightly dusty, his clothes were all in disarray. He stretched and yawned.

Soun and Genma cast a quick glance and an evil grin. Ranma and Akane out all night? Their clothing in a mess? Tired as if they were busy all night? Suddenly, they stood behind their children, holding their shoulders, and tossed confetti. "Oh Saotome! It's good to see our children getting along once again!"

"Yes Tendo, it is indeed!"

"My daughter is all grown up! Waaaah!" Soun wailed.

Ranma frowned. He would, under normal circumstances, prefer to toss his dad into the pond. Unfortunately, he was just too tired to do that. He glanced over at Akane. It looked like she was in the same predicament.

"Mm," said Ranma, and he pointed towards the heart of downtown Tokyo.

"Eh? What's that you're saying?" asked Soun.

"Mm." Akane pointed her thumb in that direction too, hoping that would answer everyone's questions.

They both trudged upstairs to get some well deserved rest. Genma and Soun looked to where they had pointed.

"Oh my," said Kasumi.

"Saotome," said a grim Tendo.

"Tendo."

"We're moving to China."

"Yes. Good idea. As soon as possible."

Ryo Muhoshin crawled into his apartment, ragged and out of energy. He'd given it his all. He'd done his best. There was no shame in his retreat.

"Hey, bro, where've ya been?" asked Ryoko.

"Urg."

"What happened to ya? You look like you've been fighting Ryouga again."

"Feh." He gave his sister a glare, then proceeded to rest on the floor. It wasn't a good night for Ryo. He'd lost his big score at Mendo Tech, at the Kuno Mansion, got beaten silly, and lost a damn fine umbrella.

"Cool! Gimmie the details!"

"No talk sleep now." was the best Ryo could offer in reply.

"Fine. Be that way."

Megane passed by, noticed Ryo on the floor, and said, "so you got your ass kicked again, did you?"

"Shaddup."

Ryo was content. He was alive, right?

He strongly felt that he ought to leave this town. It seemed to be hazardous for his health.

For now, Ryo was "home", and he was content to just fall asleep on the floor, right there, right now.

Commander Ichiwara was in a panic. "Get the tank divisions lined up over here! Call the general and tell him we need those damn air strikes! Get those electro-discharge dishes in place! Dammit men move it move it move it!"

Not since those damn giant monsters crashed into town ten years ago had he ever seen such a horrible threat to Japan.  
The creature, as tall as an average skyscraper in downtown Tokyo and had devastated half of the downtown area already. It crushed several divisions of tanks already and had swatted down two squadrons of fighter planes as well. He hoped that the new anti-monster system developed after the disaster of Godzilla would prove effective.

What it _looked_ like was absurd. A hideously mutated old man,  
resembling a troll somewhat, and wearing an even bigger negligee. The damn thing kept on roaring something unintelligable that came out sounding like "BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" or sometimes "PAAAAAANNNNTIIIIEESS!" Luckily, it had stopped its rampage and was apparently molesting a gigantic billboard with a lingerie-clad girl on it.

Ichiwara shook his head. Who knows what that thing was. Atomic accident gone wrong? Mutant? Ancient race of cross-dressing giants that had so far been hidden from mankind? He took a drag from his cigar and pondered the mysteries of life.

"SWEEEEEEEEETTTTTOOOOO!"

-end part 2- 


	4. A Training We Will Go

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT I

Part 3

A Training We Will Go =======================

nothing's so cold as closing the heart when all we need is to free the soul but we wouldn't be that brave i know and the air outside so soft, confessing everything everything...

-Toad The Wet Sprocket, 'All I Want'

FRIDAY NIGHT...

The sun slowly sank to the mountains, its brilliant orange glow bathing the scenery in an almost cinematic moment. Two observers sitting next to a campfire were admiring the event, looking a bit weary themselves, as if they had just done a lot of walking, which they did.

"Wow, kinda warm for this time of year, ain't it?" said Ukyou.

"That's true, I guess," admitted Ryouga.

"Feels more like spring than winter, really."

"Nice weather for a training trip, isn't it?" said Ryouga.

"Very nice. So, this is where you train normally?" asked Ukyou, who was currently reclined on her sleeping bag.

"I always liked this place," said Ryouga, stretching his back and arms.  
"It's always so peaceful, and scenic too."

This was done, somewhat, because of the much anticipated King of Nerima tournament that was to begin in about a month's time. But more than that,  
the trip was done because life in Nerima tended to be hazardous anyways.  
It was in Ryouga's best interest to get back in shape as soon as possible.

"Yeah, this place is beautiful," agreed Ukyou.

"I was told this used to be known as the Cobweb forest. Supposedly,  
there's spirits that haunted the woods, and hidden somewhere in here is the remains of an old abandoned fortress from the days of the warlords."

"Sounds spooky," said Ukyou, frowning.

"Well," said Ryouga, "I've never seen any spirits, or any fortress.  
Maybe it's all just a myth."

Ryouga's stretching ceased, and he stood perfectly still. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was steady and calm. No worries, no cares,  
and only the feel of nature all around him.

Ukyou looked up at Ryouga curiously. She'd never seen him so... calm before. When he wasn't scowling, moping, or being an idiot, she had to admit he was cute. In fact, he was kinda handsome.

"Um, Ukyou? Something wrong?"

"Huh?" She realized that she'd been gazing right at him, and fixed that problem by turning away quickly. However, the blushing wasn't helping her any. "J-just thinking, that's all."

"Oh." He let the inquiry stop at that, mostly because he wasn't sure he was ready to hear any answers. Instead, he let a more natural urge take over. "Say, when's dinner?"

"Dinner's ready!"

"Ah... be there in a minute!" Ranma took a moment to make a prayer to any deities out there that would listen as he was about to face a consequence of bringing his beloved fiancee along with him on this training trip.

At the time, it seemed like a good idea. Just the two of them,  
together, in the mountains, and without any weird antics from their parents, Happosai, or any other fiancees that Ranma might not have heard of yet.

It sounded romantic, anyways.

Until he thought about who'd be doing the cooking.

If only she wasn't so sensitive about the topic...

Oh well.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

"Ranma! Your dinner's getting cold!" called out Akane.

He took this moment to remind himself of a few vital things before partaking of the feast. One, he was her fiancee. Two, he really did care about her. And three, as his father was fond of saying, the path of a true martial artist is fraught with peril.

Forcing a smile on his face, Ranma headed towards his fiancee and the peril she lovingly made for him.

He couldn't help but worry. That smell from the pot of... whatever...  
was smelling like Akane's standard fare, which was noxious.

"What is that stench?" muttered Ryo.

He stood still upon a boulder that was sitting in the middle of a stream, sniffing the air curiously and trying to determine what on earth it was and where it was coming from. Failing to do either, he gave up and resumed jumping from rock to rock. Even though it was dark, he managed to keep himself upright and dry. It was all a part of UWSMA training, being ready to fight in any environment, wet or dry, bright or dark.

He couldn't help but frown, though. He felt it, in every move he made,  
that he wasn't at peak condition anymore. Too much time in the hospital,  
on his back. This wouldn't do. The smell wasn't helping either.

The best place to begin, he thought, was with the basics. Push the limits again until his limits were higher. After all, he still had a Hibiki to defeat, and it was clear that his skill levels before were still inadequate for the job. He just needed a little more of an edge.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. Ryo jumped away from the stream,  
brushed off his ebony t-shirt and dark brown slacks, and picked up his backpack.

That odor was just too disharmonious with nature. He couldn't stand it anymore. There had to be some other place to camp around there, _away_  
from that smell.

"Hey, you smell something?" wondered Ryouga.

"Like what?"

"You don't smell it?"

Ukyou closed her eyes, inhaled, then frowned. "Yeah... I can barely smell it, but there's something weird in the air."

"I guess that's what happens when cities get too big," lamented Ryouga.  
He shook his head sadly, then resumed munching down his okonomiyaki.

"The okonomiyaki okay?" wondered Ukyou.

"Great as always," replied Ryouga.

"And the grilled chicken?" queried Ukyou.

"Pretty good, pretty good."

"How about the egg drop soup?" she asked, somewhat concerned.

"Um... Ukyou?"

"It wasn't good, was it. I knew I used too much salt."

"Ukyou, the soup was good."

"Oh. Good." Ukyou smiled once more and relaxed.

This was odd, thought Ryouga. Very odd. "Ukyou?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you acting so weird?"

Ukyou frowned. "Huh? Weird? I'm not acting weird."

"Yes you are," said Ryouga. "I'm not saying you shouldn't have, but what's with all this stuff you cooked?" he asked, pointing at a rather amazing variety of dishes. There were the traditional dishes from Japan,  
one or two Chinese dishes, a side dish from India, and the desert was possibly French.

Ukyou frowned. "What, you don't like it?"

"T-that isn't the problem. It's just that... well... I'm just used to you cooking okonomiyaki."

"I just, well, wanted to expand my skills a bit."

"Oh."

"Everything tasted okay, right?"

Ryouga rolled his eyes. "Yeah, everything tasted great. Stop worrying!"

Ukyou smiled a bit, then pulled out a cooler.

"What's in there?" wondered Ryouga.

"Ice cream. Want some?"

Ice cream would've been nice right about now, thought Ryo. Or a nice espresso. Instead, he was settling for a lukewarm coke and some odd bird he managed to kill, cooked via roasting over a campfire. Next time, he said to himself, don't forget to bring the cooler. Using a rib in place of a toothpick, he scraped off some nagging bits of bird from his teeth and perched on a low branch of a tree.

He closed his eyes and inhaled, analyzing the air and its pleasant lack of modern day scents.

Well, almost.

An eye opened lazily as his olfactory senses detected... Chinese food... and something Indian... and definitely, the scent of okonomiyaki.  
Both eyes opened, narrow reptilian slits, scanning his surroundings carefully. Could Hibiki and his 'friend' have followed him up here? It was a possibility.

No. It couldn't be.

He blamed the tempting aromas on the small city a few hours hike away and settled into the branch, pulling out his portable television. Not much achieved today, aside from getting the long walk done with and warming up a bit. Tomorrow, however, would be when the interesting events were scheduled to take place. Hopefully, it'd be a beautiful day.

"It's beautiful tonight, isn't it?" said Akane, holding on to Ranma's hand as they navigated through the forest.

"Yeah, the stars don't get this bright in the city," said Ranma. That was true. Out in the countryside, the night sky was unbelievably clear,  
almost looking like she could reach out and touch the stars. It was beauty on a grand scale.

"Watch out, low branch," warned Ranma.

"Thanks. I hope the view is worth the trip," said Akane.

"Hey," replied Ranma confidently, "trust me."

They wandered through trees and bushes, with the surprisingly bright moonlight guiding their way. Eventually, they made it to the mountain top, a majestic view greating them as the valleys nearby were revealed in all their splendor. In the far distance, city lights were flickering,  
much like tiny fires in the night. The two sat down, looking upon the world, and leaned against each other for warmth and comfort.

"You're right," said Akane, sighing. "Nice view."

"Glad ya like it."

"Nice view of the stars from out here," said Ryouga, lying back on his sleeping bag.

"Yeah, I've forgotten how much more, well, alive the night sky is, when you're out in the rural parts of the country, that is," said Ukyou, lying in her own sleeping bag and looking up.

"Forgotten?" wondered Ryouga.

"Used to be in a smaller town, remember?"

"Oh, you mean before-"

"Mm-hm."

Minutes rolled by. Birds glided past, far above in the sky. Somehow,  
the two failed to fall asleep.

"Hey, Ryouga," said Ukyou, "still awake?"

"Yeah."

"Whaddaya see when you look at the stars?"

"See?" wondered Ryouga.

"You know... constellations and stuff like that."

"Oh. Well... I've always heard that sailors used the stars to find their way, so I kinda tried the same."

"Oh?"

"Never seemed to work, though," said Ryouga, sitting up. "See that star?" he asked, pointing towards the sky.

"Hm? Which one?" asked Ukyou.

"That one, right over... ah, hold on." He left his sleeping bag,  
kneeled next to Ukyou, and pointed up in the sky. "See that one?" Ukyou leaned closer, trying to see exactly what he was pointing at.

"What about it?" she asked.

"Well, it's supposed to be the north star, right? But I still get lost when I use it for ref-"

"That's not the north star," said Ukyou bluntly.

"-erence. Um. It... it isn't?"

"THAT," she said, moving his arm up and sideways quite a bit, "is the north star."

"What?! Then what's that star supposed to be?!" he asked, sounding bewildered and embarrassed.

"Not the north star."

"Oh." Ryouga grinned sheepishly, clearly embarrassed.

Ukyou patted him on the shoulder and said, "try to remember, okay? Who knows, it just might help you. Now get offa my sleeping bag, sugar."

"Huh?" Ryouga looked around and suddenly realized how close he was to Ukyou. "Oh! Aheh, sorry, sorry." He quickly went back to his own sleeping bag.

Ukyou smiled, amused at the reaction she got from Ryouga. The guy was just so funny sometimes, although she knew he didn't mean to be.

"Hey," she said.

"Hm?"

"Still didn't answer my question, y'know."

"What question?"

"About stargazing?"

"Oh, that." Ryouga looked up at the sky, thoughtfully. "I used to see Akane." He didn't see Ukyou roll up her eyes in disgust. "But," he continued, "lately it's been... well..." Actually, he hadn't given it much thought, so he was taking that moment to see what he would see.  
Admittedly, in the past, he'd start thinking in dramatic terms about how he and Akane would be looking up at the same stars, and that one day...

"Just stars," he answered, shrugging. "How about you?"

"Let's see, there's the big dipper over there," she said, pointing skyward.

"Where?"

"_There_."

"Where?"

Ukyou got up, kneeled next to Ryouga, grabbed his face, tilted it upwards, then pointed up. "There."

"Oh. I see."

"Over there, that's the 'Okonomiyaki Nebula'"

Ryouga blinked.

"The what?"

"The Okonomiyaki Nebula," she said, smiling.

"Hey, there's no such thing as-"

"No, no, it ain't an official name," she said, still smiling a pleasant and somewhat sentimental smile. "It's what me and Ranchan used to call it when we were kids."

Ryouga frowned, slightly. "I see."

"And next to it... that's what we called... 'The Really Odd Shaped Bent Spatula Constellation'." She laughed at the memory, feeling a little warm glow from happier days.

"Oh." Ryouga scowled at the mention of Ranma, still not liking how he was always in Ranma's shadow. Even now.

"And over there is Orion's Belt... and that, over there is..." for a few minutes, Ukyou pointed out the various constellations in the sky, and why they were named so. As she did so, her voice seemed to fade out in Ryouga's ears. Instead, he couldn't help but notice how close she was,  
and her perfume seemed to smell really nice too. After a while, Ukyou finished talking and went back to her sleeping bag to settle in for the night. She entirely missed the way he seemed just mesmerized by her,  
following her with dazed eyes.

Soon, the two were once again chasing after sleep, with little success.

The wind blew.

Trees swayed in the breeze.

"Hey, Ryouga, still awake?" asked Ukyou.

"Yeah."

"Mind if I ask you a question?" she asked.

"Hm? Go ahead."

"Why are you so clumsy around girls?"

"What?!"

"Hey, come on, admit it. You just turn into a babbling idiot when you face a cute girl. Remember all those times I tried to set you up with Akane? Huh?"

"Okay, okay," he replied irritably. "So I do. I guess... I'm not used to people."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean... it's always been just me. Whenever I go on training trips,  
or get lost, or when I was in school... it was just me. I'm just not used to dealing with people. I always just either beat them up or tried to say the right thing."

"Oh." She glanced at the forever lost boy, feeling sad that his upbringing was so isolated. "Well, you're an okay guy, Ryouga. You shouldn't worry too much."

"You really think so?"

"You just have to keep your ridiculous temper under control."

"I don't have a bad temper," he said calmly.

"Yes you do, my friend."

"I do _not_."

"Normal people don't begin vendettas because of bread, sugar."

Ryouga scowled. "Feh."

"Other than that, you're a nice guy."

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically.

"And when you're not moping or scowling... you're actually kinda cute."

Ryouga blushed. "You... really think so?"

"Yup. But your brain still turns into mud when you're around a cute girl."

"I wasn't THAT bad around Akane. And I'm doing just fine talking to you right now, aren't I?"

Ukyou blushed, but it was hidden will underneath her sleeping bag and the darkness. A proud part of her refused to get flustered, and decided to knock Ryouga off balance.

"So," said she mirthfully, "that mean I'm in the 'cute' category,  
sugar?"

"Er, what?" This time Ryouga blushed somewhat as he realized that his word choice was a bit suspect last time, and tried to make up for that now. "Ah, I mean, well, it's not like..."

Ukyou giggled. "You were saying something about not being that bad?"

"Hey, no fair, you caught me off guard!"

"All's fair in love and war, sugar."

"And this is war, ne?" said Ryouga, amused.

"And I'm up, 1-0."

SATURDAY MORNING...

He stared into her eyes, an intense, deep, and meaningful gaze.

She returned his look with an equally intense stare.

He brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes.

She took his hand in hers and held it.

"Akane..."

"Ranma..."

"I'm cooking breakfast, and that's that."

"I don't think so," said she, giving his hand a mildly painful crush.

"Ow! It's only fair. You cooked dinner, I do breakfast."

"Are you trying to avoid my cooking again?"

"I'm... ah... sharing the duties here. I mean, we're gonna be married,  
right?"

Akane narrowed her eyes. "I challenge you."

"What?!"

Akane rolled up her sleeve and pulled her arm back, fist clenched.  
"What, you afraid you'll lose?"

"To you? No way!" He rolled his own sleeve up and pulled his arm back, ready to strike.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Ready."

"Junken Pow!"

Akane had scissors. So did Ranma.

"Junken Pow!"

Ranma had rock. So did Akane. They glared at each other. Apparently,  
they both thought, a twist in strategy is required.

"Junken Pow!"

Akane, rock. Ranma, rock.

"Stop copying me!" yelled Akane.

"Hey, it's YOU copying me!"

It had been said that Ryo was trying to copy Ryouga. This he heard from the rumor mill that was constantly flowing in Nerima. And it irked him somewhat, really.

How was he supposed to know that Ryouga had ALSO learned the breaking point technique? Was it his fault Ryouga used an umbrella as well? Ryo had used an umbrella _first_.

Ryo stood atop a boulder, facing the rising sun with his eyes closed as if in meditation. He scowled as he used those thoughts of irritation to build up a surge of anger, and felt power coursing through his body as a result.

He shifted his focus and suddenly his gloves were lit with ki energy,  
glowing a pulsating purple and blue.

The test here was how long he could keep his ki focused and ready. By the size of the blasts that he'd seen Ryouga execute, he guessed that his enemy had ki generating abilities surpassing his own by leaps and bounds.  
That would have to change.

Ten minutes went by, as he focused to keep his gloves charged. Ten minutes... it wasn't bad. But there was a better way to push his limits. Keeping his gloves energized with ki, he leapt down, turned, and slammed a fist into the boulder. Rocks flew and the rock shuddered as his arm plowed into it.

And then he punched again.

And again...

"The reason why you lost all the time was because he was always faster," observed Ukyou. "That's why he's always been the best. You can't touch him when he's up to full speed."

"You think I should train to be faster?"

"It certainly wouldn't hurt. You just might take him by surprise."  
Ukyou took a few practice swings with her battle spatula, warming up.  
"Say, how'd he get so fast anyways?"

"Cologne taught him."

"Shoulda known. How?"

"She made him sit in front of a campfire and try to pull chestnuts out. She tried to teach me the same technique, but gave up."

"Well... let's see about getting your defense back in shape then.  
Engarde!" She charged at Ryouga, swinging at a moderate pace at first,  
then speeding up. Ryouga easily blocked the first volley of strikes, but as her speed increased a few hits tagged him. Fortunately, they weren't powerful hits, but they were unfortunately slipping through his defenses at an increasing rate.

Finally, after a few more minutes, she stopped. Ukyou was feeling exhausted, after having attacked constantly for so long. Ryouga was feeling slightly winded, having suffered quite a few hits.

"You leave yourself open way too much sometimes," said Ukyou between deep breaths. "especially your left side."

"It'd be a different story if I was attacking," he grumbled.

"The POINT here is to make your defense better. We'll try this again in a few minutes."

36 minutes nonstop.

Not bad.

Ryo sighed as he felt the last of his ki energy drain away from him,  
and he surveyed what he had managed to do while he was able to keep his charge up.

The boulder which he had been punching at the start, was now rubble.  
In addition to that, a few neighboring boulders were also victimized, as well as quite a few trees. In his frenzy to continue punching and kicking with ki charged blows nonstop, he punted a few miscellaneous forest animals into mid-earth-orbit.

"This... is good," he said, taking deep breaths. Keeping his ki up for so long was incredibly tiring, he felt as if all his reserves were spent.

Maybe a thirty minute rest, he mulled, and we'll see what else we can think of. He wiped sweat from his brow, sat under one of the undamaged trees, and looked at a very rough blueprint of an umbrella design he had in mind, and lost himself in thought.

"And I thought you were getting better," taunted Ranma, dodging a furious barrage of kicks and punches with a bit of a smile on his face.  
"Come on, hit me!"

"I'M TRYING!" shot back Akane, continuing her berzerker barrage.  
Against any normal man, her assault would be devastating. But this was Ranma, and to fight Ranma meant facing a foe of incredible speed,  
dexterity, and with a habit of tossing insults casually during a fight.

Meanwhile, a small amount of forest animals flew violently through the air in the distance, appearing as if they'd been flung there by a catapult. Both martial artists utterly failed to notice it.

"You're killing the forest, ya know," said Ranma as he rolled under a flying kick. Akane zoomed past him and cracked yet another tree. "Keep on trying, come on, faster!" He didn't seem pleased, but he was actually thinking that she was progressing well. She was, in his guess, up to Kodachi's skill levels, maybe Ucchan's. If they had more time, she just might become better than Shampoo.

Akane came in with sweeps followed by mid-section kicks, intending to catch him while he was in the air. It almost worked, and forced him to finally start blocking her attacks. She pressed the advantage, mixing in a series of punches high and low, and was getting him to block more than dodge. Akane smiled slightly at the progress.

"Alright then, let's see how ya dodge," said Ranma, and lashed out with a kick. This caught Akane entirely by surprise. He'd never fought back before, and she wasn't expecting it now. She ducked the kick, but got tagged by a fist going towards her face. Instead of the hard hit she was expecting, she was tapped lightly.

"Gotcha."

"Why you..."

"Come on, block!" He lashed out with more kicks and punches, a few of them going past her defenses but never striking with anything harder but a light touch.

To someone with Akane's pride, this was absolutely insulting.

"You trying to get me mad?!"

"I'm tryin' to TRAIN you! Now block, willya?"

"Fine!"

After another minute of relentlessly getting tagged, Akane finally began blocking a few of Ranma's attacks. "Come on, you gonna let me tag you all day?"

To his surprise, Akane actually began counter-attacking, reacting to his attacks. None made contact, quite a lot were dodged entirely, but a few came very close.

"Alright, that's better!"

"That's better," said Ukyou, watching Ryouga practice some punches at a tree. "Your defense is getting a little better, definitely."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, although if you wanna go with that chestnuts in a fire training..." she teased.

Ryouga frowned. "No way."

"That's what I thought you'd say. And you're still leaving that left side open a bit too much."

"I am not."

*CLANG*

"Oww..."

"Maybe you are," smirked Ukyou. "Aside from that, I'd say you're almost back to normal."

The two settled underneath the shade of a large tree and unwound.  
Ukyou pulled out a canteen of water and offered some to Ryouga, but he had his own.

"Hey, learned any new techniques for the tournament?" wondered Ukyou.

"New techniques?"

"You know... some new special attack that'll surprise the competition.  
You know, like how Ranchan does every now and then."

"Where does he get those techniques from anyways?" wondered Ryouga.

"Let's see... he learned the Moukou Takabisha from you."

"Not exactly," countered Ryouga.

"True, but he came out on top in that one anyways."

Ryouga scowled.

"Hey, if it makes ya feel any better," said Ukyou, "it proved his ego is bigger than your angst."

Ryouga blinked. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

"Now if only we could find a ki attack based on stubbornness..." mused Ukyou.

"Hey you!"

"Just kidding!" laughed Ukyou. "Aaanyways, let's see... he learned the Hiryuu Shouten Ha and the Tenshin Amaguriken from Cologne. Strong stuff,  
those two are."

Ryouga nodded in agreement.

"And he learned that awesome Saotome School Ultimate Technique from his dad," said Ukyou.

"Ultimate Technique?"

"You don't remember it? He used it on you, I heard."

Ryouga scratched his head. "Um..."

"Let me refresh your memory," said Ukyou, assuming a battle stance.

Ryouga raised an eyebrow, wondering what Ukyou could be up to.

"Ready?"

Ryouga nodded grimly.

"HERE I COME!" Ukyou charged at him with alarming fury, berzerker rage in her eyes. Ryouga raised his umbrella to block the first strike,  
expecting a jarring hit from her spatula.

It never came.

He looked around, blinking, and saw Ukyou zooming away from him,  
yelling, "run away!"

"That," he wondered, "was it?" He heard Ukyou's laughter in the distance, and had a nagging feeling he was being laughed at. With the smallest hint of a smirk, he took off after her, yelling, "GET BACK HERE!"

Now _here_ was a new technique, thought Ryo, worthy of being forbidden knowledge. There was already a new name he had in mind to give to the technique, too. He grinned maliciously as he fiddled with a wrench,  
making meticulous and final adjustments to his umbrella.

In theory, it was perfectly viable.

In his experiments with toothpicks and fried chicken, it passed with flying colors.

Out on the field, however, with _live_ test material...

He sensed the movement of a wild animal in the brush. A perfect opportunity to test the technique. Ryo swiveled the umbrella in his hand until the bladed end was outward. With a movement of his hand, the blade popped in, and a rapier-like end took its place. He sped towards the bushes and spied a blur rushing out. Immediately, he saw the breaking points of the creature and lashed out, yelling, "*BAKUSAI TEN-SATSU!"

(*writer's note: 'blasting point kill')

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

Okay, so the technique had a few bugs to iron out, admitted Ryo to himself, glancing briefly at his umbrella, which currently sported a bent tip. When something is built that is needle-precise at the tip, it's bound to be not very resilient.

He sighed, turning over the somewhat intact carcass of a rabbit. Yes,  
the bakusai ten-satsu had a few little annoying hitches, like apparently a distinct need for precision. The first few stabs he swore were close enough. Apparently, though, near-misses weren't enough to trigger the breaking point. Rocks needed a bit less precision than bone, it seemed.

It couldn't be said that the results weren't spectacular, though. He hadn't expected the rabbit's leg to explode quite so violently. It made an absolute mess on his slacks, which were currently getting a much-needed soak in a nearby stream.

He could only imagine how devastating an exploding rib would be to internal organs. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Definitely the sort of technique that becomes forbidden knowledge after a few decades. Did the Amazons know of the potential of the breaking point? They probably did, he believed. Must have stricken all records of the technique too. What a waste.

But, oh, what a new technique.

"What are you doing now?" wondered Ukyou, standing at the edge of a clearing.

"New technique," said Ryouga, who was currently on one knee and examining the earth.

"Where'd you learn a new technique from?"

"Actually... it's an improvement on an old one. You might wanna stand back."  
Ukyou wondered what he was up to as she took a few steps back.  
Ryouga cocked his arm back, single digit extended, and yelled, "BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!" At his touch the earth shook, sending rocks and debris everywhere. Where Ukyou expected one explosion, there was instead a fast chain reaction of explosions on the ground in a violent wave. It finally ended after forty meters, leaving a jagged trench in its wake.

Ukyou whistled. "Wow. Now _that_ is impressive. What's the trick?"

"A chain effect of breaking points. I direct the explosion towards another point nearby, and when the blast reaches that point, it goes off,  
towards another point nearby and..."

"I get the idea. Anyone facing you oughta be intimidated by that.  
So, got any other new tricks?"

Ryouga paused, thinking about something. "Well... there was one technique I learned. I haven't used it in a while, though, and I never did get it fully right."

"Show me?" wondered Ukyou.

Ryouga nodded, and walked to the base of a nearby tree. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what the old master had taught him.

"SHORYUKEN!" Ryouga surged skyward with an uppercut, demolishing the tree as he rose to its top in a somewhat not quite straight fashion. Ukyou thought she saw the faintest hint of a glow on Ryouga's fist as he flew up. Finally, he reached the peak of his ascent, turned in the air, and landed. His fist was unscathed, and the tree was nearly split in two.

That move... it seemed awfully familiar to Ukyou.

"Waitaminute!" she yelled, "that's the move that the Street Fighter champ used a couple of years ago to get the title."

"Yeah. I think I met him and his sensei while I was lost."

"And..." continued a horrified Ukyou, "you didn't get an autograph?!"

"I didn't KNOW who they were at the time, okay?"

"And you call that a shoryuken? You were kinda wobbling all the way up, ya know."

"I didn't say I mastered it, did I?" snapped Ryouga.

"Ya certainly didn't," replied Ukyou.

"Well, it's a new technique, and it oughta knock the wind outta Ranma if I end up fighting him."

"Still looks ridiculous," teased Ukyou.

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" protested Akane, leaping ungracefully up in the air.

"I told my old man the same thing," said Ranma, also leaping, but with much more grace, "but hey, it works. Come on, you're falling behind!"

"When I catch up I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" yelled Akane, jumping high once more, with a large metal ball chained to her ankle. When she asked Ranma if he'd help her get ready for the tournament, this wasn't what she had in mind.

"Come on, this isn't too bad!" taunted Ranma.

"Oh sure, YOU'RE not the one with the ball and chain tied to you!"

"I will in a few years!" he shot back.

"What do you mean by..." At first Akane had no idea what he meant,  
then realization dawned on her. "You calling me a ball and chain?!"

"Nyaaah!"

"Why you!" She summoned up more iron determination and actually managed to speed up. There was the faintest hint of a smile on her face as she chased after her fiancee.

"Hey," called Ranma from up ahead, "when we're done with this, I'll let you try to learn the katsu tenshin amaguriken! I've got the fire and chestnuts all set up!"

"I'm not doing _that_!"

"Oh yes you are! Gotta start learning new attacks!"

"How about if I just attack you?!"

Another new attack came to Ryo's mind, and he was getting ready to test it. However, there seemed to be a shortage of material...

His previous campsite was now thoroughly devoid of any intact boulders,  
and the trees were a bit of a mess. In fact, the whole sight was a mess,  
so it was time to move onwards to other locales.

This new locale, it had boulders. Plenty of them. Perfect. He walked away until he was about fourty yards in distance from them, then began twirling his umbrella. A moment later, a small blast of ki, no larger than a finger, raced across the distance, and hit the boulder with an odd 'thud' sound. A second later, the boulder exploded in a wild shower of rocks and dust, leaving only a shallow crater in its place.

A distance breaking point technique, mulled Ryo, but how could this be applied in combat? He looked around and spied a tree standing alone in a clearing. At the rate he was destroying trees, Ryo mused that he was due for a visit from some odd environmentalist fanatic. Oh well, sacrifices had to be made. He sprang high into the air, charging his umbrella with ki, then released four small bolts of ki streaking towards the tree. They impacted in front and behind it, triggering four explosions that obscured the tree in a shower of shrapnel and dust.

When the dust settled, the remains of the tree were revealed, battered by the shockwaves of the explosions and the flying debris.

"Not bad... not bad at all."

"Not bad, Ryouga, you're finally starting to guard that left side better," said Ukyou, spinning her battle spatula slowly while circling Ryouga.

"You're not too bad yourself," said Ryouga, snapping his umbrella shut.

"Let's see how you handle some tricks of mine," she replied. "Come on,  
P-chan, gimmie your best shot!" As Ryouga charged at her, she pulled a small bag from her pocket and threw it down hard. She was instantly consumed by a cloud of flour. Ryouga couldn't stop himself in time and ran right into it. He expected to get a spatula right to the noggin or worse.

Instead, nothing happened.

Ryouga looked around quickly, but failed to find her. He heard the sounds of feet landing behind him too late as he was grabbed by the back of the shirt.

He found himself suddenly on the ground, slightly dazed, and looking up at a grinning Ukyou.

"Gotcha, sugar. You oughta be a little more careful when you can't see your opponent."

Without warning, Ryouga grabbed Ukyou's leg and gave it a quick pull,  
taking her entirely by surprise and causing her to land on her rear.

"Gotcha back," said a smug Ryouga, right before Ukyou grabbed him by the bandanna and flung him into the nearby stream.

"Told ya to be more careful," teased Ukyou, as a soaked Ryouga-chan stomped out of the stream.

"Just heat up some water, please?"

It was somewhat pleasing to Ryo that he had an advantage over Ryouga in speed. However, he was disadvantaged when it came to matters of endurance. He resented admitting it, even to himself, but if it came to a matter of trading hit for hit, he'd be on the losing end of things.

The strength aspect of it couldn't be improved any further. He was already remarkably strong, especially considering his physical appearance.  
He doubted he could improve himself much further on that end.

The endurance aspect, however, might be correctable. He knew exactly where he got his high endurance from, the learning of the breaking point technique. He overheard the Amazon instructors when they were discussing the matter with their students. His endurance _should_have_been_ better,  
if he had trained properly to learn the breaking point (i.e. thrown against large boulders more often). Unfortunately, half of his training was spent poking at boulders trying to hit the right point. At the time,  
he didn't have the luxury of free run of the Amazon training grounds and had to make do with using it when it was empty.

Ryouga _must_ have learned the technique properly. He had a somewhat higher endurance level before, but with that last duel of theirs, it was clear his endurance had risen to far higher levels. He'd been caught in a ki blast barrage and managed to fight back afterwards. That, to Ryo, was alarming.

Now how to catch up?

He wasn't about to fling himself at boulders.

So instead, he decided to see how many times he could do the breaking point technique without stopping from pain.

"BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!"

*BOOM*

A blast six meters in radius shook the earth. Rocks flew everywhere,  
small animals scattered, and a few nearby plants would never be the same.

That's one...

"BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!"

*BOOM*

An explosion of ten meters in diameter violently shook the earth. Rock shrapnel flew places, and from a safe distance away Ukyou watched as Ryouga proceeded to make a fairly large pit in the ground.

"Ryouga, remind me why you're doing this?" queried Ukyou.

"To see where my endurance is at. BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!"

*BOOM*

"Ah, I see."

"Can you keep count for me? I think this is my third. BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!"

*BOOM*

"That WAS your third before or that WAS your third just now?"

In the distance, an explosion rumbled like a distant thunderstorm.

"That... was my third. This WILL be my fourth. BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!"

*BOOM*

"And the next one will be your fifth, right?"

"Yup. BAKUSAI TEN-KETSU!"

*BOOM*

-boom-

"Hey, did you hear that?" said Ranma, looking up from the campfire.

"Hear what?" asked Akane.

"Thought I heard something... kinda like thunder," said Ranma as he looked around, "but there's no clouds in the sky."

"Oh well, must've been nothing. Now where were we?" wondered Akane.

"Soy sauce."

"Right here!"

"Akane, that's vinegar."

"Oh, sorry."

-boom-

"There it is again," said Ranma.

"I heard it too. It's coming from that direction."

"No it isn't, it's coming from THAT direction."

"No, you've got it wrong, I tell ya."

-boom-

*BOOM*

Fifty-eight...

*BOOM*

Fifty-nine... ouch ouch ouch...

*BOOM*

Sixty...

*BOOM*

Sixty-one.

"Aaaaagh!" Ryo dropped his umbrella and staggered to the shade of a nearby tree, worn out by the pounding that the debris from the breaking point flung at him. Normally, self-inflicted damage didn't play a factor in the execution of the technique, not unless he was in close quarters.  
The direction of the explosion WAS controllable. But the very basic form of the breaking point had no directional blast. It was an explosion that washed over all directions. And besides, it'd be pointless to test his endurance via breaking point if he didn't allow himself to get worn down by it like he did the first time.

Sixty-one. Not bad. Better than his previous mark of thirty-nine.  
And he was already feeling his second wind coming.

-boom-

Wait a moment... what was that noise?

-boom-

"See? told ya it was coming from this direction," said Ranma, sticking his tongue out at Akane.

"Oh, just shut up and lead the way," she hissed.

Through bush and tree and other varieties of forest obstacles they traversed, getting closer and closer to the sound of constant explosions.  
The ground was vibrating slightly under their feet, and they thought they heard someone counting.

"Hey, there's a clearing up ahead," whispered Ranma. "Looks like there's a camp there too."

Akane looked to where Ranma was pointing and there was indeed a campsite, complete with a pile of wood where a fire would normally be plus a pair of tents.

"Ranma, those tents look kind of familiar."

"You're right. I think... I think I know who's here."

{What have we here?} wondered Ryo as he crept along the forest with much stealth. A few feet away was something most surprising and alarming.

Ryouga Hibiki.

That was part of the surprising bit.

It seemed he was performing the breaking point technique over and over,  
just as Ryo had been doing a while back. The alarming part was what he was hearing from the Kuonji girl that was sitting nearby.

"A hundred one."

*BOOM*

"Hundred two."

*BOOM*

"Hundred three."

By the time Ryouga finally stopped, he'd reached 127 blasts. Clearly,  
much more than Ryo had managed. He knew that Ryouga's endurance was superior, he just didn't realize _how_ superior. Clearly, headbutting Ryouga would never be an option again.

A mischievous smile crept on his face. Ryouga was here. _With_ the okonomiyaki girl. Now what can we do with this...

"How many did I do?" wondered Ryouga, staggering out of his self-made pit.

"A hundred and twenty seven," replied Ukyou. "Pretty impressive,  
sugar. You okay?"

"Just need ... a little rest." He wasted no time in collapsing to the ground in a tired heap.

"You _sure_ you're okay?" asked Ukyou with some concern.

"I'm fine, really."

"Alright then... guess I'll make lunch. Any requests?"

"Okonomiyaki, _no_ pork."

"Comin' right up, P-chan," she replied with a smirk.

"Don't _you_ start doing that," he said wearily.

Ranma smirked as he watched the two. If he were more like his old man,  
he'd be tempted to try and set those two up. Come to think of it, so would Akane, if she were...

"Hey, Ranma, maybe we should try to get those two a little closer?"

Okay, so she _was_ like her father.

"I dunno, maybe later." A smile came to his face as he watched Ukyou cook up some okonomiyaki. "S'cuse me, Akane, I gotta go do something. Be riiight back."

Something was wrong. She could sense it. Ukyou peered into the forest, watching. Slowly, she lowered the okonomiyaki from her spatula and added it to the stack. This feeling, she hadn't had this feeling in a long while, not since...

She felt a breeze pass by and turned suddenly, two throwing spatula at the ready. A few floating leaves were the only evidence of anything passing by. That, and one of the okonomiyaki was missing.

Oh ho.

Ukyou pulled out her battle spatula and concentrated on her surroundings, hearing rustling grass, the birds flying by, waiting for her adversary to return.

Ah ha!

*CLANG*

"Heya, Ucchan!" It was a scene from days past, from times long gone,  
and it still made her smile. One foot was raised, stopping the spatula from striking, one finger held a spinning okonomiyaki, and the face had an infectious smile.

"Ranchan! What brings you out here?"

"Hello, Ranma," said Ryouga, without any enthusiasm.

"Just training for the tournament coming up. Just like you two, I guess," said Ranma. "Hey Akane, come on out!"

"Hi guys!" said Akane merrily, emerging from the forest.

As she approached, Ukyou said quietly to Ranma, "Lemme guess, you're starving."

Ranma nodded. "She's getting better, but still..."

"Let her try more often, maybe she'll surprise you," said Ukyou encouragingly. Not that she really believed it, but still...

Surprise, surprise, thought Ryo, Saotome and fiancee were there too.  
He watched them for an hour, but failed to see anything of interest, and decided to depart. There were schemes he had in mind for Kuonji and Hibiki. Maybe they wouldn't work, but they'd certainly cause a little confusion, and chaos was always fun.

At the moment he was wandering through the forest and was surprised to find himself wildly disoriented. He was lost, the kind of lost that should happen only to a Hibiki. This wasn't right at all. The sun was already beginning to set and a mist was creeping through the forest. With only the moonlight to depend upon, it would be a dark walk back indeed.

After another hour wandering, he was no longer worried, he was enraged. Trees were paying the price for being in his path and he'd bulldozed an ugly path through the woods. It was during a break in his mad destructive streak that he sensed it. A flicker of azure flame in these dark woods.  
He tried to forget the old tales of the forest, tried to push out the idea of something supernatural afoot, but there was that feeling he couldn't deny.

Someone was watching.

He shot off a ki blast wordlessly to a branch above and was rewarded with falling leaves and a shadowy figure landing before him. Around its neck hung a chain, with something hanging on it that was barely flickering and getting dimmer as it approached him.

"Who are you?" asked Ryo, spinning his umbrella in anticipation of an attack. In response, the shadowy figure took another step forward,  
raising some sort of weapon of its own.

"Stay BACK!" Ryo snarled, charging his umbrella handle with ki. The other figure tilted its head, as if curious. Then it raised its own weapon to its face, and charged it with a brilliant yellow ki.

And Ryo saw who it was.

He was looking at himself.

"Shush, brother of mine, don't be so quick to panic," his other self said calmly.

"I've only one brother, and you don't look like him," replied Ryo.  
"Again I ask, who are you?"

"I am you," was the simple reply.

"No... the doctors said I wouldn't be having this sort of problem...  
I'm all better now... you're not me... no..."

"Damn, we're getting hysterical. Calm down else we'll never get anything done, hmm?"

"Alright... I am talking to myself."

"About time you accepted it."

"Well then, what do I want?"

The other Ryo looked around nervously, as if expecting company. "I can only stay for so long, me, so listen carefully." Ryo nodded. "You _want_  
to get the Nanban mirror, sometime in your future. It is _very_  
important."

"Nanban mirror? Why?"

"It's power, power that will take us places, brother of mine.  
Secondly, you must get rid of Ishido. He'll be a problem."

"Ishido? Who is Ishido?"

"Ah, you've yet to meet him. Good. Waste no time in disposing of him when you do meet him. Understand?"

"Not quite."

"Don't argue with me, me. I know what's good for us."

Ryo never knew that episodes of delusion could be so vivid. He was talking to himself, as if he was two people. He'd be headed back to the sanitarium at this rate.

The locket on his other's necklace began to flicker slightly. Its owner looked down at it and frowned. "Hmm... seems he's followed me even here. Keep him busy, will you? I've chores to run." Ryo's 'twin'  
strolled into the darkness, and with a wink of azure flames disappeared.

"Muhoshin!"

Ryo turned around, wondering what other products of his imagination were running around tonight, and found himself grabbed by his lapels by...  
Saotome? But that couldn't be... he left Saotome back at the Hibiki campsite. In the dark, it was hard to tell, but the pigtail was a distinct giveaway.

"Give it BACK!" Saotome yelled.

"Now my delusions are threatening me," grumbled Ryo.

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you ANYMORE! GIVE IT BACK!"  
Saotome flung him violently into a tree, damaging it mildly. Muhoshin was less damaged, but far more irate.

"Right then, that's it... YOU DIE!"

"Well, have a seat and enjoy!" said Ukyou as they sat around the campfire. Ranma and Akane were rather stunned at the variety of dishes that were laid out before them.

"Hey," whispered Ranma to Ryouga, "what's with the food?"

"Leftovers from yesterday," said Ryouga, equally as quiet.

"That ain't what I mean," hissed Ranma.

"Then what DO you mean?"

"This ain't okonomiyaki."

"Oh," said Ryouga. "Um... she just... cooked it yesterday, said she wanted to expand her skills. Don't ask me why."

Ranma's grin became wider and he elbowed Ryouga a bit. "Hey, I think she's cooking just for you, eh? Eh?"

"SHUT UP RANMA!"

*CLANG*

*WHAP*

"What are you two fighting about now?!" yelled Akane, pulling her mallet away. "Stop picking on Ryouga, Ranma!"

"And don't hit Ranchan, idiot!"

Both men rubbed their heads, wincing, and gave a brief glare to the women. "Violent maniacs," They both muttered.

*CLANG*

*WHAP*

A few less painful minutes later...

The four were once more at ease, and warming themselves up with mugs of hot tea. They were generally talking of school, and people, and a little about martial arts.

"By the way," said Ranma, "Why aren't ya after that Ryo guy like you were after me, Ryouga?"

"What?"

"I mean, knowing your bad temper and obsessive habits..."

"I do NOT have a bad temper and I am NOT obsessive!"

"... you haven't been running around rampaging after Muhoshin, really."

"Yeah, that's true," said Ukyou. "Why haven't ya settled things?"

With a scowl, Ryouga answered, "first of all, I still don't know what he's so mad about."

"So ask him," suggested Ranma.

"I did, he refused to answer."

"Oh."

"And then, I don't even know where to find him," finished Ryouga.

"Why don't you ask Ryoko," suggested Ranma, "she's his brother, right?  
And she's always hanging by your side." He didn't miss Ryouga's face turning slightly pale, his quick glance towards Ukyou, or her slightly irritated look.

"Ah... yeah... didn't think about that.. aheh," said Ryouga nervously.

This was followed, of course, by a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. It was broken, surprisingly, by Ukyou.

"Oh, by the way," said Ukyou, "You'll never guess who Ryouga ran into a few months back."

"Hm? Who?" wondered Ranma.

"You'll kill him once ya find out," said Ukyou.

"What?" said Ryouga, "Why'd he want to do that?"

"Well, who'd he meet?" wondered Ranma.

"Lost Boy here met Ryu, the Street Fighter champ, _Ryu_, and didn't get an autograph," said Ukyou. "Can ya believe it?" The four of them were sitting around a campfire, eating some of Ukyou's okonomiyaki specials.

"Aw man! A good opportunity wasted," said Ranma, shaking his head in disgust.

"I _said_ I had amnesia at the time, didn't I?!" said Ryouga. "And where's the salt?"

"Who else was there?" wondered Ranma. "Maybe Ken Masters was around. Here's the salt."

"Who's Ken Masters?" wondered Ryouga.

"Ooh, Ken's a cute one," said Ukyou. "Too bad he's married. And what, I didn't add enough salt?"

"Yeah, he's a hunk," giggled Akane. "And no, I think you added enough salt."

"Hey!" yelled Ranma.

"WHO is Ken Masters?" repeated Ryouga. "And I just like my okonomiyaki saltier, that's all."

"The blond gaijin, his style is the same as Ryu's. C'mon, you oughta remember..."

"Oh yeah!" Ryouga's face turned from one of thought to that of embarrassment. "Aheh... yeah, he was there too."

Everyone groaned and shook their heads.

"Coulda had the autograph of Ryu AND Ken," lamented Ranma. "Man, good company is just WASTED on you. Next thing you're gonna tell us is that ya got into a Jackie Chan film."

"Well actually..." said Ryouga. He saw the collective glares and quickly said, "JUST KIDDING! JUST KIDDING! Somebody pass me a megavolt cola?"

Meanwhile, back in Hong Kong...

"Hey, look at this," said one of the editors, pointing to a figure on the screen.

"Look at what?" his co-editor said.

"Check it out... after Jackie leaps from the exploding building...  
riiiight THERE... see it?"

"Is that.. is that a guy walking out of the explosion?"

"Jeez, man, that's impossible."

Some days were just impossible to get by without things getting ugly,  
thought Ryo. This seemed to be one of them. He was now thorougly disoriented, a tad sore, very grouchy, and utterly baffled.

Maybe these woods _were_ haunted.

The battle was fast, furious, and confusing in the dark. He landed some solid blows and received some as well. He felt he could have won it if it weren't' for the cliff.

At some point, they'd fallen over a not-so-high cliff, and unfortunately for Ryo, he was the one to land on the bottom first,  
cushioning 'Saotome's's fall. Stunned badly after that little landing (and all of the other exercises he'd done earlier in the day didn't help either), he passed out for an unknown amount of time. The last thing he sensed was Saotome getting up, then darkness.

When he regained consciousness he was alone, with no sign of anyone else having ever been there.

What the hell was THAT about?

He supposed he'd better visit his therapist again... becoming mentally unhinged once more, especially so soon to the date of the tournament would not do.

That couldn't have been Saotome either, something wasn't right. The voice was somehow different, the manner not quite the same either.  
Mostly, it was his gut feeling that whatever it was he faced wasn't Ranma.

Strange days, these are. Haunted forests indeed.

Now which way was his campsite?

He wasn't entirely sure where to go, but he saw fire and smoke in the distance, someone out there had a campfire going.

The night seemed full of surprises tonight, and he didn't care to be on the receiving end of any more of them.

"Well, that was a surprise," said Ukyou, humming as she cleaned up some of the dishes in the river, part of the mess left behind by Ranma and Akane. The two had left them after dinner, not wanting to 'spoil the mood' said Ranma and Akane with a wink. Ryouga was clueless as to what that meant, while Ukyou insisted that those two were being silly.

"I wonder if it was just a coincidence," said Ryouga suspiciously as he straightened out their campsite. "He's probably here to spy on me."

"My, isn't SOMEONE'S ego getting a bit large, hmm?" teased Ukyou.

"I do NOT have a big ego! Not as big as HIS anyways."

"Oh, give it a rest already, Mr. Take-My-Bread-And-Die."

"Feh."

Ryouga scowled in the manner that just happened to get on Ukyou's nerves. Something would have to be done to humble the guy. As Ryouga came towards her with more dishes to be washed, she turned towards him and ripped her shirt open, sending some buttons flying. Ryouga promptly fell over, nose spraying blood, and passed out on the spot.

Of course, nothing was _really_ shown, since she had a t-shirt underneath. She woke Ryouga up with her laughter, and brutally teased him about it.

"You're a spring-of-drowned-girl victim and you STILL can't handle that sort of thing?" she marveled. Ryouga merely blushed and grumbled irritably. "You're probably the only guy I know who got a nosebleed when he looked at 'herself' in the shower."

"Don't remind me!"

Unseen by either of them, a pair of eyes watched over them from the treetops. Ryo Muhoshin had found himself at their campsite once more, and couldn't resist meddling with them a bit before leaving. If he could get those two together, his idiotic sister wouldn't damn their genetic line and family lineage by mating with Ryouga.

To be honest, it wasn't about genetics at all, but when Ryo ranted on a topic, even in his head, he'd pick out the oddest things to gripe about.

Mostly, it was the concept of Ryouga as an in-law that horrified him.

Of course, he had absolutely no experience when it came to matchmaking.

However, he'd seen enough television to try a few gimmicks. They might be lame, but maybe, just maybe they'd work.

First off, the flower bit. He'd have to wait a bit before trying that,  
though.

As Ukyou tossed and turned in her cot, she thought she heard something flying through the air. Sitting up quickly, she reached for a set of throwing spatula and looked around.

Nothing.

Then she noticed the single flower at the side of her bed. That certainly wasn't there before. But who'd put it there?

"Ranchan? You out there?" she whispered. It was the first thing she thought, but she knew it wasn't likely. Still, there was a possibility and it made her nervous. After a few seconds of silence, she knew that there was only her and Ryouga here.

So it had to be... Ryouga?

"Ryouga? You awake?" she hissed to him. The lost boy didn't respond.  
Either he really was asleep or he was just afraid to talk to her, she thought. Ukyou took a moment to examine the flower and sighed. Amazing how such a little thing could cause her to feel so nervous. She sighed,  
looked at Ryouga, and wondered what he was thinking. "Thanks," she whispered, "if ya gave this to me, I mean."

Ryouga continued to sleep in blissful ignorance of what had just happened. A few minutes later, Ukyou joined him in unconsciousness.

It wasn't what he'd hoped would happen, but then again few things ever went according to plan these days. What was that look he saw on her face?  
wondered Ryo. It wasn't one of happiness, he thought. It looked more like apprehension.

No, no, no, that wasn't what he was aiming for.

Well, now for the next idea.

Actually, there was no next idea.

He was out of romantic strategies, and had not a clue as to what to do next. So, with all his options gone, he just did what came naturally.

A few minutes later he had Ukyou sedated (thanks to the miracle of shiatsu points), gagged and bound, and had learned that Ryouga was a surprisingly deep sleeper.

Of course, now was a PERFECT time to kill him.

It was tempting, the opportunity to eliminate him as he slept... but no, it wouldn't be satisfying, not as satisfying as humiliating him in front of an audience at the tournament. No... Ryouga could wait. It was a little more than a month until the tournament, he could wait that much,  
bide his time, perfect his skills. He'd show them all who's better.

A part of him whined about passing the opportunity by, but he tried to ignore it. It wasn't easy.

With okonomiyaki chef slung over shoulder and ransom note left in place, he was about to stomp off into the night when he realized there was a very fundamental problem that needed to be addressed.

Ryouga.

More precisely, his utter lack of a sense of direction. Leaving a note saying 'I've got your friend so meet me at etc etc etc' would be utterly useless, especially when it might take him five days to get there.

How to solve this problem... hm...

SUNDAY MORNING...

Ryouga woke up the next morning to the absence of the sound of okonomiyaki grilling. It was enough to make him aware that something was very wrong. He rose, stretched, and called out, "Ukyou? Where are you?"

There was, as he looked around the campsite, an utter lack of Kuonji-ness in the area. Then he noticed the small black umbrella lying on her sleeping bag. As he picked it up, the mini-umbrella popped open and a small piece of paper unfurled itself.

"What's this...?"

/ Hibiki, I have your dearest Miss Kuonji in my possession. /  
/ Should you wish to reclaim her, follow the trail of fallen /  
/ trees. - M /

Sure enough, there was a line of trees plowed down leading into the forest. Attached to the first tree was yet another note.

It read:

/ If you can't follow THIS trail, you're twice the idiot I /  
/ thought you were. - M /

Ukyou fumed and squirmed, trying to get out of her bonds. She was never a hostage, and didn't intend to start being one now. It was all terribly lame to her, being the damsel in distress. She wanted no part of it, seeing it as ridiculously sexist and stereotypical.  
"PUT ME DOWN YOU JACKASS!" she bellowed.  
"Okay," said Ryo, pausing to think about the request. "Your cooking is wretched."  
"WHAT?!"  
Ryo frowned and tilted his head towards her. "You wanted me to 'put you down', yes?"  
"Ha ha. Very funny."  
In the distance, the sound of trees falling and occasional curses echoed. Ukyou and Ryo looked into the forest, trying to see the source of the noise.  
"That," said Ryo, "would be your hero to the rescue. Time to put the gag back on." "HEY! NO! DON'T YOU DARE *MMMF*"  
"Shush woman," chided Ryo, securing the gag on her, "take my advice,  
just shut up and listen. Now where'd I put that rope..."

Ryouga blazed through the forest, occasionally knocking over a tree while following a path of knocked down trees. He was feeling angry,  
frustrated, and scared (which, a year ago, was almost normal for him). How _dare_ he kidnap Ukyou!  
He burst out of the forest into a clearing, then plowed on through deeper into the woods.

Ryo peered into the forest and sighed. It almost worked, almost.  
Sneering and muttering curses, he strolled to a freshly made clearing,  
where, in the distance, Ryouga ever onwards, PAST the clearing, and into the forest.  
"IDIOT! OVER HERE!"  
Ryouga stopped, blinked, and turned around. A few yards behind him,  
Ryo was waiting, tapping his foot impatiently.  
"YOU!" roared Ryouga.  
"Idiot," spat Ryo.  
"GIVE HER BACK!" yelled Hibiki as he stomped over to his enemy.  
"Ooooh, but why?" wondered Ryo as he stepped back into the clearing while Ryouga entered. He grinned briefly, glancing up at Ukyou, who was gagged and bound in rope high above, but definitely within hearing range.  
He could see her glaring at him from high above, where she swayed with the breeze, held high by a single rope. "Why should I?"  
"BECAUSE SHE'S M-"  
"Your lover, ne?"  
"Right. Wait. NO!" Ryouga wasn't expecting this sort of treatment.  
He was feeling embarrassed and enraged and not a little confused.  
"She's your girlfriend, riiight?."  
"I, ah, NO! She isn't!"  
"Come now," said Ryo, strolling around casually while twirling his umbrella, "you sleep in her house, you work under her orders, you rush to her rescue..."  
"I... I mean..."  
"I, on one hand, am a magnificent liar. You, on the other hand, are not. Tell me now, tell me _now_, you don't have _any_ romantic feelings towards Miss Kuonji."  
"I..."  
"Be honest and I set her free. Easy, yeeees?" asked Ryo in a mocking voice. Ryouga looked to the ground, a scowl making itself almost permanent on his face. From high above, Ukyou stopped her struggles and watched as the scene unfolded. Ryo tapped his foot impatiently.  
"How I feel about her," said Ryouga quietly.  
"Yes, how you feel about her...?" asked Ryo impatiently.  
"Is _none_ of your business! If you EVER hurt her I'll kill you!" Ryouga suddenly lunged at Ryo, who managed to duck out of the way. The tree behind him, however, shattered at the trunk under the impact. A rope tied to the base of the tree unraveled, and suddenly Ryouga felt something strike him on the head and make a sound not entirely unlike that of two really hard objects hitting.

Ryo sighed and retreated into the forest. The plan clearly failed, as Ukyou slid off of Ryouga's forehead, badly dazed. There was nothing more to do, and thus it was time to leave.  
"Adieu, lovebirds, see you later." He bowed slightly, then disappeared into the forest, shaking his head sadly. Maybe he should have just killed Ryouga in his sleep anyways.  
Meanwhile, Ryouga untied Ukyou from her bonds quickly, looking very worried.  
"Ukyou! Are you okay?"  
"Aaagh, I got a headache..." She scowled, rubbed her head, then took a moment to whap Ryouga.  
"What'd you do that for?!" yelled Ryouga.  
"For having such a hard head, you jerk! Ow..."

Much later...

Ukyou looked out from the train window and sighed. It was a long day,  
she was tired, and after being rescued in the morning there was an odd sort of tension between her and Ryouga.  
They'd agreed that it'd be best to take the train back, just to make sure they got back to Ucchan's with time to spare. After all, tomorrow was a school day.  
Still, there was _something_ hanging in the air between the two, and neither knew exactly what to say.  
"Hey, Ryouga," said Ukyou absently, staring out at the window.  
"Hm?" Ryouga looked up from the newspaper he was reading, clearly a little nervous.  
"Earlier today... when Ryo asked... ah... I mean, what were you...  
er..." "I was...?"  
"Um... never mind." She sighed and looked out the window. "S'not important."  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah, I'm sure."  
The train rattled onwards, passing mountains, houses, and fields in a neverending stretch. Ryouga sighed, having finished the comics section.  
The news and sports seemed incredibly boring. He was terribly aware of Ukyou next to him, and the odd silence that hung between them.  
And he didn't know what to say to her. Or why.  
"Hey, Ryouga," said Ukyou softly.  
"Hm?"  
She gave his hand a light squeeze and smiled slightly. "Hey, thanks for running to my rescue."  
"I'd, ah... any time."  
At that moment, with her hand in his, Ryouga's heart was racing and suddenly he found himself wanting to tell her how much she meant to him,  
how much he'd do for her, how he'd never leave her side. He didn't know exactly what he'd say, mainly because he wasn't entirely sure of what this was he was feeling. It was exhilarating and frightening all at the same time, being there with her, holding her hand on a starlit night,  
crossing Japan by train. The moment felt too strong to say nothing.  
Ukyou wondered why, exactly, Ryouga wasn't letting go of her hand. It was beginning to make her rather nervous. "Hey, Ryouga, helloooo, you can let go of my hand now. Earth to Ryouga?"  
He held her hand firmly and looked right in her eyes. His blood racing, heart pounding, his throat incredibly dry.

"Ucchan... I..."

"R-Ryouga?"

"HIBIKI! I shall smite thee!"

Ukyou blinked. Ryouga blinked. Kuno whapped him.

****CRASH****

Ryo blinked. He put down his drink, lowered his newspaper, and looked out from his personal cabin. He couldn't see very well in the dark, but it seemed something was falling off of the train.  
Tsk. It had better not be his luggage, he thought, else there would be hell to pay when this trip was over.  
He yawned, turned away from the window, and resumed reading through his newspaper undisturbed.

-a few minutes later-

Ukyou stood up, looked down through the broken window and sighed as she watched Kuno, Ryouga, and various kendoists tumble down to the river below. It seemed nothing was going right on this day. How were they to know that Kuno &amp; the kendo team would be on the same train, returning from a regional tournament? Just bad luck, she guessed. She strained to keep the river in view as the train traveled past, relieved to see that Ryouga was making his (now her) way to shore, and Kuno, unconscious, floating downstream. She briefly thought about jumping out of the train and making her way to Ryouga, but then realized that by the time she made her way to the river side below, Ryouga might be in Beijing or even Australia. No,  
it'd be better to let him find his way.

He'll come back to me, she thought. He always does.

-end part 3- 


	5. Circle of Friends Akari in Furinkan La

.edu/~

======================== The Pursuit of Happiness Act 1 Part 4 Circle of Friends or Akari In Furinkan Land!  
=======================

"Class, we have a new student. This is Akari Unryuu."

A girl in the Furinkan High school uniform stepped into the room,  
brushing her long black hair back nervously. She gave a small smile to the classroom and said a quiet "hi."

"Miss Unryuu... have a seat over there."

The women glared at the men, who were looking at Akari like wolves would look at a sheep. She was new, rather innocent looking, and probably unattached. Usually, pretty new students in Furinkan were somehow linked to martial artists in dangerous ways, and it'd be a blessing if this one wasn't.

Akari took a seat next to Ukyou, near Akane, and right in front of Hiroshi and Daisuke

"Hi there, I'm Hiroshi."

"And I'm Daisuke."

"Nice t'meet ya," they both said.

"Um, hi," she replied, smiling.

"You dating anyone?" asked Hiroshi bluntly.

"Guys, I think you're getting a little too personal," said Ukyou.

"Yeah, you PERVERT!" said Yuka, accentuating the point with a swift book-whap to his head.

"Hi, I'm Akane," said the Tendo girl, "if you need any help getting used to this place, don't be afraid to ask any of us."

"Thanks," she said, smiling demurely. It wasn't bad so far, being schooled here. The boys were nice, although a little funny.

The sight which Tatewaki Kuno beheld in this daylight time was one of unspeakable horror.

He had sent his manservant, the good Sasuke, on an errand to retrieve for him a lunch worthy of someone of his high social status.  
However, today he had an appetite for... something exotic. Something different.

"Sasuke, get me something... foreign," spoketh Kuno.

"Foreign?" wondered Sasuke. The loyal servant merely shrugged and went off to his task, to find something Foreign for his master.

Fifteen minutes into lunch, The Noble Kuno was wondering whither his Foreign Meal? With that query in mind, he stomped around the grounds of Furinkan until he stumbled upon the horror of horrors.

It was an ogre.

The frame it sported was incredibly massive, causing even the Great Kuno to step back in trepidation. It also wore the guise of a pig,  
but Tatewaki Kuno was not fooled. No, a true pig of this earth would not grow to such a blasphemous size, would it?

And it was sitting on Sasuke.

"Maaaaster!" whimpered Kuno's loyal servant.

"Good Lord!" cried Kuno. "My manservant hath been squatted upon by an ogre!"

Then he noticed something else.

"And it dares to feast on my lunch as well!" roared Kuno. "Have at thee, fiend!"

With a swing of his legendary blade, Kuno struck at the beast.

And a most unpleasant thing happened.

-CHOMP-

"Aaargh! Foul Daemon! Cease thy biting of my blade!"

-GRUNT-

"Dare you grunt at ME?! Malevolent spawn of evil! Prepare to DIE!" Bringing forth his backup legendary blade, he swung again, this time smiting the creature on the snout.

It was not amused.

Lunchtime in Furinkan had social dynamics, just as any large grouping of humans did. Bullies patrolled the fringes, preying on the weak. A frenzied pack was around the food distribution points,  
searching for the ever-so-elusive and legendary Perfect Sandwich.  
Tables and shady spots under trees were quickly claimed by varying factions and circles.

One particular circle was welcoming a new member into its fold.

"So, moved here from the countryside?" asked Yuka.

"Yes, just recently," said Akari.

"So, how do you like it 'round here?" asked Yuka.

"It's great! There's so much to see and do here," said Akari,  
bubbling with enthusiasm. "It's been fun so far!"

Their talk was interrupted as everyone heard a loud yell from above. They looked up to see Tatewaki Kuno being hurled across the sky, landing in the Furinkan pool.

"Um," said Akari, pointing towards Blue Thunder's general direction.

"Oh, that?" said Ukyou. "That's Tatewaki Kuno, local kendo champion. Gets tossed around like that all the time."

"All the time?" wondered Akari.

"Yeah, but you get used to it," said Akane.

"Don't mean to get too personal, Akari, " said Yuka, "but are you dating someone?" She was quickly elbowed by Sayuri and Ukyou, who thought it was a rather inappropriate thing to ask.

"Well, no," said Akari. "At least... not yet."

"Looking for someone?" wondered Manami.

"Well... sort of."

"Oooh, really?" said Nabiki. "For a small service fee, I might be able to find someone that'll match your description."

"Well, it'd be nice of he was a gentlemanly, kind, loyal man," said Akari, sighing.

"Heh, aren't we all wishing for that?" said Sayuri.

"And of course, he has to be strong enough to beat Katsunishiki."

"Who's that? Your ex? Big brother?" asked Ukyou.

"My pet pig!" said Akari proudly.

The girls blinked.

"How hard could that be?" wondered Akane.

From several meters away, they heard a deep, loud grunt. They all turned to see the very top of some _thing_ peeking over a brick section of fence on the edge of the courtyard.

"Katsunishiki!" yelled Akari, frowning.

The thing grunted in reply.

"I told you to wait at the front gates for me! Now go back!"

The large thing behind the fence slumped down and out of sight,  
then could be heard slowly trotting away, shaking the earth as he trotted. Few noticed an irate and soggy Blue Thunder chase after it with his backup backup legendary blade.

"THAT was Katsunishiki?" asked an alarmed Ukyou.

"Mm-hm. He's the best sumo pig the Unryuu ranch has ever produced," said Akari with a certain glint of pride in her eye.

"Ah... sumo pig?" asked Manami.

"Sumo pig," said Yuka. "Now I've heard everything."

"Why," asked Ukyou, "does your boyfriend have to be strong enough to beat that... that... really big pig."

"It's Grandfather's wish," said Akari. "My husband and I will be the heirs to the Unryuu estate, including the sumo pig ranch."

A bit of a distance away, Ranma, Hiroshi, Daisuke, and Ryouga walked past.

"Hi Akari!" yelled Hiroshi and Daisuke.

Akari smiled and waved back while Sayuri and Yuka stuck their tongues out at the boys.

"Saaay, we oughta let Hiroshi and Daisuke try to... 'date' Akari,"  
said Sayuri. She had a particularly wicked gleam in her eye.

"But then they'd have to," said Akane, just before realization dawned on her. "Oooh. That's evil," she said, giggling.

"I hope I'll catch up to things easily," said Akari. "It'll be hard, since I wasn't here for the start of the semester."

"Hey, we'll help you out," said Akane. "We're gonna have a study group tonight at my house. Wanna come?"

"Who, me?" said Akari shyly. "If... if it's okay with everyone else."

"Hey, sure, no problem with me," said Yuka.

"Wouldn't mind at all," said Ukyou.

Meanwhile, at the sandwich counter, another round of sandwiches were being readied to be tossed to the crowds. The usual pool of sharks circled around, waiting for that elusive Perfect Sandwich.

Off to the side, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Ranma and Ryouga watched. Hiroshi and Daisuke were great fans of rough contact sports, and sandwich grabbing was included. They looked at the crowd getting ready, and evaluated odds.

Fuji was on a hot streak this week, averaging a sandwich for every two attempts made.

Right on his tail, Ryuuji was averaging one for every three, but he'd been improving dramatically from one every ten at the start of the week to the point at which he was now. Mathematical models suggested he'd take the top spot today.

Of course, the new contender from the sumo club, Yojojimbo, a really big fellow, was a bit of an X factor. He had bulk and knew how to use it in his favor. Last week he managed to pull off some rather impressive sandwich catches, mainly due to his massive girth bopping the competition out of the way.

The addition of Rodumanu, the leading rebounder for the Furinkan High basketball team and a known user of dirty tactics, added to the possibility of an upset.

Ryouga wasn't thinking of much, just studying a map of Furinkan in hopes that one day he'd be able to walk around without getting lost.

Ranma's thoughts were going in other directions.

Man, I'm still a little hungry.

The first sandwich went out. Fuji and Ryuuji jumped for it. it fumbled from their fingers and landed in the frenzied masses of students below.

Maybe Ucchan can cook something up? Naah, that'd get Akane jealous, even if she knows Ucchan ain't chasing me any more.

The second sandwich flung out in the air. It was seaweed. Nobody jumped, and it landed with a sad little *thwap* on the floor.

Times like this I miss the free ramen Shampoo brought around. Wonder how she's doing back in China. Heh, probably beating Mousse to the ground.

Another sandwich flew out. Fuji and Ryuuji jumped, but they were elbowed aside by Rodumanu, who managed to snag the sandwich after tipping it up in the air several times.

Ryouga seemed a little uncomfortable, as if something was bothering him. Ranma continued mulling while Ryouga glanced at the sandwich stand in moderately deep thought.

Wish Akane didn't make lunch today. Oh well... at least she's getting a little better. A _little_.

A curry bread sandwich flew in the air. Rodumanu jumped for it,  
but didn't see Yojojimbo's bulk, which he immediately ran into. Ryuuji springboarded off of Rodumanu's head and snared the sandwich.

As the next sandwich was held up, the crowd gasped.

It was the right shape... the right form... the right fold on the paper... it was the Perfect Sandwich. Everyone jumped as best as they could as it took flight. Ryuuji and Fuji elevated above the others,  
while Rodumanu and Yojojimbo cleared a path using their own natural talents.

Hrm. Maybe a sandwich will settle my stomach down.

As quick as a blink, Ranma sprang high above everyone and grabbed the sandwich. He felt his foot bonk on something, but ignored the sensation. After all, it was crowded. Lots of body contact was bound to happen. He landed, pleased that he hadn't lost his touch, and began happily munching on the sandwich.

Hrm... good sandwich... lotsa pork and beef.

"RANMAAAAA!"

Saotome blinked. "wrff fvu fnmt, vmga?" he asked with his mouth full. Then he turned around to see an irate Ryouga.

With a footprint in his face.

"You... you... YOU DID IT AGAIN!" bellowed the irate Hibiki.

So _that_ was what he bumped into while jumping. Oh my.

*Gulp* "Oops. Sorry, man. Um... want the rest of it?"

Hiroshi sighed. "So this is how it started for those two, huh?"

"DIE, RANMA!"

"Amazing, isn't it?" said Daisuke.

"Aw, c'mon, man! It's just a sandwich!" yelled Ranma as he dodged Ryouga's onslaught.

"Feels like a time warp, doesn't it?" asked Daisuke.

"How much property damage you figure we'll get today?" asked Hiroshi.

"SHUT UP AND FIGHT!" bellowed Ryouga, chasing after Ranma.

"Oh... let's see," said Daisuke, "a few walls, at least six windows, one parked car... aaaaaand maybe a tree."

[The Tendo Dojo, nightfall]

For three solid hours, Akane, Ukyou, Sayuri, Manami, Yuka, and Akari were doing what could honestly be called a study session,  
sitting around various parts of the Tendo Dojo.

After the third hour, boredom overcame determination.

"Need a break!" yelled Sayuri.

"Definitely a good idea," said Ukyou, stretching.

"I'm a little hungry," said Akane. "Any of you guys want something to eat?"

"Soda'd be nice."

"Got any chips?"

"How about cookies?"

"So that's... everything but dinner," said Akane with a joking grin. "Okay, I'll be back in a sec."

A minute later the girls were in full relaxation mode, talking,  
eating, and even getting a poker game started.

It would have been a nice, relaxing sort of atmosphere.

It almost was.

"DIE, RANMA!"

*WHAM*

"C'mon, Ryouga, that the best you can do? Ha!"

Akane and Ukyou frowned. Sayuri and Yuka rolled their eyes up. Manami smiled. Akari was rather puzzled.

"Ah... I think there's a fight going on outside," said Akari with much concern.

"I know, believe me I know," said Ukyou, grabbing her battle spatula. "C'mon, Akane, let's cool the boys down."

The other girls followed as Akane and Ukyou out to the backyard,  
where two boys were swinging at each other and managing to miss,  
making it all look rather skillfull.

"Ranma! Stop picking on Ryouga!" yelled Akane.

"Ryouga! Cut that out NOW!" shouted Ukyou.

Both boys froze, very much like the sun didn't.

"Aw, c'mon Akane! We were just having fun!" protested Ranma.

"What'd you interrupt for?" Ryouga asked Ukyou. "I almost had him!"

Ukyou snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Who are these people?" asked Akari quietly.

"The one in the pigtail is Ranma Saotome," whispered Yuka, "and the one with the bandanna is Ryouga Hibiki."

"Hibiki? I've heard about him," said Akari.

This caused Sayuri, Manami, and Yuka's eyebrows to raise a bit. They were distracted enough not to notice Akane giving the boys the Ultimate Chastisement Attack.

"Oh? What'd you hear?" asked Sayuri

"He's the boyfriend of one of my co-workers," said Akari.

"I didn't know he was dating someone, did you?" asked Sayuri.

"Not me," said Yuka.

Manami quietly looked away.

Nobody noticed as a glass of water nearby began to ripple with movement. There was a low sort of rumble, kind of like distant thunder, but it was too low to be heard by them.

"So, you hear anything else?" asked Yuka.

In the distance, people screamed and car horns honked.

"Um, that's all, really," said Akari.

There was a grunt.

It was a really loud, low, beastial sort of grunt.

It was menacing enough to make Ranma and Akane stop bickering.

"What... what was that?" asked Ranma.

"I don't know," said Akane, looking around carefully.

The hair in the back of Ryouga's neck began to stand. There was a menace nearby, he could feel it.

Suddenly, a part of the brick fence shattered. In the moonlight,  
only a dark massive form could be seen, rushing towards them at a speed remarkable for something of its massive girth.

What happened next said a lot about the people who were there. Unfortunately, nobody appreciated the symbolism.

Manami, Sayuri, and Yuka immediately retreated to the dojo.

Akari yelled, "Katsunishiki, NO!"

Ranma immediately took Akane into his arms and leapt for the roof.

Ryouga, in several quick and smooth motions, stepped in front of Ukyou, pulled out his umbrella, and nailed the creature right on its skull, causing it to collapse immediately.

After a tense moment where nobody moved, Ryouga slowly stepped forward to examine the beast.

"It... it's a pig," said an astonished Ukyou. "A really big pig."

"He... he beat Katsunishiki," said Akari in a hushed tone. All the girls jaws dropped. The equation she laid out before was, after all,  
very simple. Beat the pig, win her love. It all seemed so... so...  
so Ranma-esque to them.

Manami in particular seemed rather distressed, frowning and biting her lip. Meanwhile, Ukyou had an 'uh oh' sort of look on her face.

"Ah... this doesn't mean what I think it means, does it?" asked Yuka.

Akari smiled, with just a little melancholy. "He's... cute. But he's already with someone." She tsked and tended to the large pig,  
stroking its head tenderly. "Oh Katsunishiki, why can't you behave yourself?"

Amazingly, nobody noticed as Ukyou and Manami sighed in relief.

"Um, what's everyone looking so weird about?" wondered Ryouga. Nobody answered him.

Meanwhile, up in the tree, still with Akane in his arms, Ranma was puzzled about things. "Hey, Akane, what was everyone looking so tense about?"

She told him.

"Beat the pig, win her hand in marriage? Man, I've heard it all now," said Ranma. "Good thing she isn't as obsessed as Shampoo,  
huh?"

Ranma dropped to the ground gracefully with Akane in his arms,  
landing as well as any martial artist with a fiancee in his arms could hope to land.

"Hi there," said Ranma. "Don't think we introduced ourselves. I'm Ranma Saotome and this," he said, nudging a still somewhat confused Ryouga, "is Ryouga Hibiki."

"Um, hi," said Ryouga. "Sorry about your... ah... pig."

"It's alright," said Akari, still tending to her pig, "he just likes to fight all the time."

Without much further disturbance, the boys went off to clean up after a full day's worth of fighting while the girls resumed their talk, snacking, and general gossip.

Akari strolled home happily, humming a little tune. The day went well. School was fun, especially since she managed to make so many friends so quickly. Things in general were looking up for the last Unryuu.

As they walked across a badly lit street, disturbingly quiet and with no people in sight, Akari began to feel a chill run down her spine.

Someone was there. Watching her.

Katsunishiki grunted angrily, stepping in front of his mistress to protect her.

In the dark there was a hint of movement.

The pig charged, disappearing into the night.

"Katsunishiki don't leave me!" cried Akari. She stepped back in fright as she saw a brief flicker of light, heard the sound of flesh and bone being struck, and felt the ground shudder as Katsunishiki fell to the ground.

"Who... who's there?" she asked fearfully. From the edge of the shadows a figure stepped forward. She couldn't see any of his features clearly at all, only that he had a briefcase.

"Hello there," said a refined voice, "you shouldn't walk around here alone at night. You never know who you'll meet here."

"W-who..."

"Good night," said the figure. He stepped back and disappeared into the night.

Akari quickly rushed to Katsunishiki's side and roused the unconscious pig to its feet.

"Come on," said Akari urgently, "let's go home."

From high above the streets, peering down from a rooftop, Ryo Muhoshin sighed with a cat-like grin.

"Oh, look at her run," he said quietly. "I do think I scared her." He turned away, briefly opening his briefcase to check on the contents within, then resumed hopping from rooftop to rooftop.

"Must be getting soft," he muttered. "Didn't even threaten to rob the girl. Shame on you, Ryo."

The error was rectified a few blocks later by way of robbing and bludgeoning a street mime.

Ryo felt much better after that.

Akari and Pig walked further, through crowded streets and empty passages, realizing just now exactly how long of a walk it was from the Furinkan area to her apartment. After that incident, Akari was anxious to go home.

"Ah HAH!" someone bellowed.

Akari shrieked in surprise.

Katsunishiki grunted in annoyance. He knew that voice.

"Foul beast that consumed my legendary blade, thou shalt be sent back to the very pits of hell that thou hadst emerged from by mine OTHER legendary blade, which shall avenge its brother lost in battle and smite thee with a force guided by the vengence of heaven!"

The pig grunted, impressed. That was an awfully long sentence.

Tatewaki Kuno appeared, high in the air with one of his many legendary blades, bearing down on Katsunishiki's head.

Akari stepped aside, waiting to see the result.

Katsunishiki looked up at the rapidly descending Kuno... and swallowed him.

Not entirely, but almost.

The legendary legs of the Blue Thunder flailed around furiously,  
still protruding from Katsunishiki's massive maw. Akari shrieked in alarm. He'd bitten people before, but _swallowed_?

"Katsunishiki! Don't!" she cried. "Bad boy! Spit him out! SPIT!"

The pig didn't seem to notice her as it tried its first experimental chew. Then suddenly, there were a multitude of muffled 'dadadada's accompanied by Katsunishiki's eyes bulging in discomfort. It quickly spat Kuno out, sending him flying into a wall, impacting with a thunderous boom.

"*HACK*COUGH* Vile eater of man! Now thou knowest better than to feast upon one such as I, Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" proudly proclaimed Kuno, managing to strike a bold pose even though he was covered, head to toe, in pig slobber.

"Katsunishiki! Apologize right now!" demanded Akari.

The pig gave her a look of disbelief, then seemed to sigh as it saw she was serious. It gave a polite bow to Kuno, although it still seemed irritated.

"Ah HA! The creature doth submit to the forces of virtue!" said Kuno proudly. "And you," he asked Akari, "who might you be, fair damsel that bringeth a gentle demeanor to even this, the most violent of creatures?"

"Akari Unryuu," she replied. "Are you okay?"

"Am I well? Ha! I have never been better! Did you fear that this fierce creature actually had managed to do true bodily harm to I,  
Tatewaki Kuno, heir to the great and noble house of Kuno? Worry not,  
fair maiden, it taketh more than such a creature to injure Blue Thunder."

Akari giggled. This guy was funny.

Katsunishiki just couldn't take it anymore. After all, even pigs had their pride. With a quick grunt he headbutted Kuno into a nearby canal.

"Oh Katsunishiki, that was rude!" chided Akari. "He was a nice boy... although a little weird. He could have walked us home!"

*grunt*

"He wasn't _that_ bad, now was he?"

*snort*

"Katsunishiki, now you're being picky."

*snort*snort*

-end part 4-  



	6. A Night Out

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT 1

PART 5

A NIGHT OUT ===========

"Bills, bills, junk..." Ukyou frowned as she sorted through the day's mail. Nearby, Ryouga was cleaning off the tables as Ucchan's was preparing to close its doors.

"Hey," said Ukyou, "what's this?" She held up a post card and read it. Ryouga, a few feet away, looked at the postcard as if it was familiar.

"Oh, that," he said.

"So, you were in Tahiti last week?" asked Ukyou.

"Well, yeah," replied an embarrassed Ryouga. "At least I got back before the postcard got here, right?"

Ukyou laughed. "Yeah, good point." She put aside the postcard,  
planning to add it to the others that Ryouga occasionally sent when he got lost, and continued looking through the mail. "Hey, could this be..." She opened an envelope, pulled out some papers, and gave out a cheer. "Alright! Got'em!"

"Got what?"

Ukyou dramatically held out two slips of paper. "These!" she said proudly.

"And those are...?"

"Free movie passes! Won'em from a lottery contest at the local theater."

"Oh, that's nice. So what're you going to go watch?" asked Ryouga.

"_We_ are gonna watch 'Ghost in the Shell'."

"We?" wondered Ryouga. "Why we?"

"Because I've got two tickets, and I'd feel ridiculous going to a movie alone. So, are you coming or aren't you?"

"Um..." managed Ryouga, taken by surprise by the offer. "Yeah,  
sure. Why not?"

"So, c'mon! Let's get outta here," said Ukyou, still in a pleasant mood. Then she noticed the odd look Ryouga was giving her. "What?"

"You seem to be really enthusiastic about just getting two free tickets."

"Yeah, 'cause they were _free_!"

"You're really Nabiki's long lost sister, right?"

***CLANG***

Ryo stared at the ceiling of his apartment.

He was bored. Bored, bored, bored.

His little sister, Kyoko, hovered nearby, twirling her scissors.

"Haircut?" she asked idly.

"What did I say last time?" asked Ryo flatly.

"No?"

"Correct."

"I'm bored!" whined Kyoko.

"Go play with Kanrinrin-san's dog."

"Kanrinrin-san took him to the vet!" whined Kyoko.

"Go bug the ronin upstairs, everyone else does."

"He's out!"

"How about the neighbor's child, room 1?" suggested Ryo.

"He's gross."

Ryo sighed. "Come along, then."

Kyoko blinked. "Hm? Where we goin'?"

"Just taking a walk."

In a dark movie theater, two young people were sitting there,  
trying to sort out exactly what they were watching. There were also other matters to take care of.

*WHAP* "Wake up, dummy! Snap outta it!"

Ryouga woke up, feeling a little light-headed. "What? What?"

"Ya gonna pass out EVERY time they show a naked body?" Ukyou sighed and rolled her eyes briefly, then started wiping off the blood that came out from Ryouga's nose. "It's just an anime! Jeez, you're a mess..."

"Hey, I can do this myself!" Ryouga scowled, grabbed the paper napkin from Ukyou and started cleaning himself up.

"What a wimp," muttered Ukyou.

Sitting in the park bench, Ryo looked over his umbrella for lack of anything else to do. Nearby, Kyoko was whirling around the playground in a frenzy, enjoying herself immensely, swinging on swings, sliding on slides, and giving squirrels interesting new haircuts.

He yawned. So peaceful... and quiet... so terrible...

"HEY! LET GO!"

"NO! GEORGETTE ALL MINE!"

Ryo turned his attention back to the playground, where his little sister was apparently fighting with another little girl over the possession of Kyoko's oversized scissors.

"LET GO LET GO LET GO!"

"YOU LET GO! IT'S MINE MINE MINE!"

He sigh and turned away, intending to take a nap, with a light grin on his face. Before he could fall asleep, he heard a loud shriek and sat upright, wondering what happened.

Kyoko was standing alone in the playground, grinning a silly grin,  
holding her large scissors in one hand, and a large mass of hair in her other.

Ryo blinked.

"Got her?" he asked.

"Got'er!" Kyoko smiled happily and waved around the hair.

"Good girl," he said, and went back to take his nap. Then he froze in mid-blink and said, "Kyo-chan..."

"Yes?"

"Do NOT cut my hair."

"Awwwww. Pleeeeease?"

Ryouga reached for some popcorn.

Ukyou reached for some popcorn.

A moment later, the tub-o-popcorn dropped to the floor amongst a flood of apologies by both sides, and some low-level blushing ensued.

It was the sort of thing that was horribly cliche'd, but it didn't help lower the amount of embarrasment they felt.

Kodachi tossed aside a folder and sighed. It had been a very busy time as of late, but now she was free once more to pursue whatever she wanted, which was, at the moment, either Ranma or Ryouga, she could not decide which. Kodachi hmmed for a moment, putting chin in palm,  
pondering how to go about things. How did brother dear ever decide whom to chase after first?

Then the solution presented itself to her. She'd just go about the town, and whoever she saw first, was going to have _all_ of her loving attention for the night.

Strange, Ukyou closed shop already?

Ryoko looked at the door to Ucchan's, a bit puzzled.

"Ukyou? Ryouga? Hello?" She knocked on the door for a bit,  
sprang to the roof and went to the back, looked around in the backyard, then sighed and walked off. I wonder where they went?

Ryo leisurely strolled down the street, his little sister hopping about, full of far too much energy (in his opinion) and tying up her ill-gotten hair samples into a locket of sorts.

"C'mon, meet the neighbors!" prodded Kyoko.

"I'd rather not," muttered Ryo. "Just go ahead and go home." Ryo patted her on the head. "You can visit the manager again, you two get along well, right?"

"Yup!" bubbled Kyoko.

"There you go. Now go on in. I'll be back later."

"Where ya goin'?" asked Kyoko, looking at him with curiosity-filled Kawaii-Boosted eyes.

"Target practice, Kyo-chan, target practice."

"Okaaaaay!" Kyoko zoomed into the apartment complex, giggling happily and waving around the Azusa-hair that she sheared off earlier. "Miss Manager! I'm baaaaack!"

Ryo waited until she disappared inside the building, and walked away as he heard voices drift from within.

"Kyoko-chan, how are you doing today?"

"Fine! I was with my brother!"

"Oh, what's this in your hand?"

"It's hair," said Kyoko, matter-of-factly, "I scalped someone!"

Another night, another bunch of failed would-be boyfriends, thought Akari as she observed her pet sumo-pig finish off the last of the crowd of boys that he attacked. Nobody left standing.

She sighed.

Isn't there SOMEONE out there for me? she wondered sadly.

Being single in Nerima was rough already. Her case didn't help lower the averages.

Ryouga and Ukyou sat in their seats, staring blankly at the screen as the credits rolled by.

Ryouga slowly looked into Ukyou's eyes.

Ukyou slowly turned towards Ryouga.

"Ukyou..."

"Ryouga?"

"I didn't understand that ending at all," said Ryouga, "did you get any of it?"

"Well... kinda." Ukyou sipped on her soda thoughtfully for a moment as the end credits rolled by, then said, "let's see... um, the two personalities, in the end, merged into one, new personality, but stuck in the woman's head, who was rebuilt into the woman's head,  
which was stuck onto some spare android, which then wandered off to find it's destiny... or something like that."

"Er..." Ryouga still looked confused. "Okaaaay... then who was section 6?"

"Some other section of the government. Doesn't matter."

"That was... what's her name... Kusanagi's department, right?"

"Nooo, that's Department 9."

"I thought Department 9 was the bad guys?"

"No! The Foreign Ministry was the bad guys!"

"Ah... right... why?"

Ukyou frowned. Actually, she wasn't 100% sure herself, but she was sure it would work itself out after a few hours of thought. "I'll sketch ya a diagram later. C'mon, let's go."

The two left the movie theater, entering the cool, breezy evening,  
and stretched a bit, experiencing the universal sensation of Movie Theatre Stiffness (you know the feeling, after watching a long movie and finally getting up only to have your body become unstable) and rested briefly by the wall of the building.

"Hey," she said, pointing to a large movie poster on the wall, "an Audrey Hepburn festival! Let's go watch it next week!"

"Audrey Hepburn? Who's that?" wondered Ryouga.

She smirked. "You really _are_ outta touch with pop culture,  
aren't ya? I'll tell you 'bout her some other time."

"Ah... right."

Ukyou sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head back, and let the breeze blow through her face, lifting her hair slightly. Ryouga couldn't help but look at her, just mesmerized. She might've passed as a boy in the past, but now, as she was maturing, and finally accepting she was a girl... at that moment he couldn't imagine her any other way... and for a moment, just a moment, she was the only girl in the world.

She noticed his attention and turned away, blushing, but with a small bit of a smile. What's he staring at? she wondered.

"So, ah, where do you wanna go now?" said Ryouga.

"Go?" asked Ukyou. She really hadn't thought of post-movie activities. "Hmm... go... hey, how about a dance club?"

"A what?!"

"A club! Y'know, music! Dancing! It'll be fun!"

Ryouga panicked. He didn't know how to dance and wasn't in the mood to show a large crowd exactly how bad of a dancer he was. "But I don't-"

"Oh, come on, don't be scared!" said Ukyou. "Hey, there's one nearby, it'll be great!"

"I don't-"

"One more negative outta you, sugar, and I'll have to hit ya," she said jokingly, dragging him along.

"Who'd have thought it would happen?" said Ukyou, sitting on a street bench. Her expression was that of mild surprise.

"Well, in a way, it was bound to happen, I guess," grumbled Ryouga.

"They banned us," said Ukyou.

"The nerve of them!" declared Ryouga.

"Whoever heard of a 'No Martial Artists' policy?!" Ukyou yelled. "Oh well, might as well go ho-"

"Ryouga-chan!"

Ryouga froze, turning around slowly. That was _not_ Ukyou's voice. Those were not Ukyou's arms that had latched around him either.

Ukyou stiffened suddenly and her smile quickly faded, replaced by a look of definite discomfort and barely visible yet definitely tangible irritation aimed at Ryouga.

Ryouga stuttered, "R-Ryoko, um, w-what're you doing here?"

"Ryouga! Ukyou! Hi! What'cha two doing?"

"Um, we, ah," stumbled Ryouga.

"There's this movie, um, break, well," floundered Ukyou.

"Just taking a, uh, break," finally managed Ryouga.

"Yeah, aheh, just taking a break from running the store!" agreed Ukyou.

"Oh, that's good. You shouldn't work too hard, Ryouga-chan! You too, Ukyou!" Then Ryoko pouted. "But you should've invited me too!"

"Um, er," stuttered Ryouga.

"Well, we, um," tried Ukyou.

"It's okay, I know you weren't able to reach me, I was out all day." Ryoko snuggled up next to Ryouga, while Ukyou scowled and Ryouga started sweating badly.

Ryouga also forgot one rule of the universe: it can always get worse.

"OH-HOHOHOHOHO! Ryouga-sama! I've found you!"

Ryouga cringed.

Ukyou sighed.

Ryoko scowled. "Ryouga's MY boyfriend, who the hell are you?!"

Before any of them could answer, several bouquets of flowers landed on the floor and began smoking. "So, another would claim my Ryouga-sama as her own? Very well then, PREPARE TO DIE!" Within a second, the whole street was clouded with thick gas. From above,  
Kodachi in a gas mask and leotard leapt into the fray, whipping around indiscriminately.

Ryouga frowned. This wasn't the way tonight was supposed to go. All he wanted was a nice, non-violent day with Ucc... his _friend_. Everyone began to cough and gag in reaction to the fumes. Without thinking, he grabbed Ukyou by the hand, held his breath, and ran blindly in one direction.

Ryouga blazed through the streets, running blindly and coughing due to the gas attack from Kodachi's bouquets. Finally he stopped,  
partially because he was tired, but mostly because Ukyou booted him in the head.

"IDIOT! What have you done?" yelled Ukyou.

"I got us away from Kodachi!" countered Ryouga.

"And left Ryoko alone back there against her!"

"Oh, um..." Ryouga began to look somewhat guilty. "We'll just go back then, okay?"

"Ryougaaaa!"

"What? What?"

Ukyou sighed. "Ryouga, WHERE ON EARTH ARE WE NOW?!"

Ryouga looked around. "Hey! Where'd all these big trees come from and where'd Tokyo go?"

"IDIOT!" *CLANG*

Meanwhile, back in Nerima...

The citizenry, once they got clear of the gas attack and settled down to get a good view of the fight (fights in Nerima are considered Free Entertainment, and it's common for a sudden brawl to get a large audience).

They were very disappointed.

Ryoko, tangled in ribbons, coughing, wheezing, and somewhat disoriented, had her hands around Kodachi's throat.

Kodachi, who had her gas mask knocked off, was wrapped in an amazingly long yo-yo string, coughing, wheezing, and had her hands around Ryoko's throat.

Hiroshi and Daisuke passed by, noticing the squabbling pair of ladies and the crowd that was watching them.

Hiroshi went up to one person in the crowd and asked, "good fight?"

The man frowned, "feh, it started out alright, but then they both started chokin' on some poison fumes and such."

Daisuke shook his head sadly. "So it degenerated into a typical cat-fight between women, with little martial arts prowess shown?"

The man nodded. "An' they're still going at it now." Even as they spoke, the crowd was slowly dispersing, disappointed.

Hiroshi shook his head. "No technique, no finesse."

Daisuke sighed. "Maybe there's something good at the movies?"

Ryouga and Ukyou did the only thing they could do in their position (which was Being Lost), and strolled leisurely in a direction that seemed right. In general, it seemed to be a good evening for a stroll. The sunset was at it's waning moments, and darkness already was settled into the streets.

Unseen to them both, a pair of eyes that were tracking them leapt onto a nearby rooftop. Inside the house, there were yells of "Dammit,  
they're at it again!" and "My roof! My roof!" but any veteran martial artist tends to ignore this out of habit. Somewhere in the dark, that person grinned.

Target practice, ne?

Ryouga blinked. He looked around cautiously, with the martial artist instinct within him sending warning signals. Ukyou, being a martial artist as well, also took a moment to glance around.

"You get the feeling..." said Ryouga.

"We're being watched?" added Ukyou.

They took a moment to look around.

Nothing.

Then Ryouga spotted it. In the dim moonlight, he saw a shadow on the ground zooming towards him. "What the..." He looked up and saw Ryo zooming through the air, using his umbrella as a glider.

Ryo frowned, realizing the element of surprise was gone. "Hibiki prepare to die!" He snapped his umbrella shut, which drastically changed his aerodynamics, sending him rocketing down. He aimed his bladed umbrella at Ryouga's head.

"Ryouga look out!" yelled Ukyou.

"Ukyou, get back!" Ryouga stepped protectively in front of Ukyou and blocked Ryo's incoming strike. Then, a flury of slashes, parrys,  
and feints ensued while Ukyou backed away and watched. She would've helped out, but knew Ryouga was the proud sort. If he got in trouble,  
then she'd help.

"What *CLANG* do you *SLASH* want now? *SWISH*" asked Ryouga.

"Just *SLASHSLASH* a little *OOF* entertainment," answered Ryo.

"Why can't *SWING* you just *SLASH* leave me alone?!"

Meanwhile, a block away...

Akari rode atop her gigantic sumo pig, sad that another day had passed, with no worthy suitor in sight. "I think you're just too tough," she sighed, as she petted the pig on the forehead. It grunted with pride. Then, in by way of some sort of predatory instinct, it sensed worthy foes nearby and charged like a pig possessed.

"Katsu-nishiki! Slow down!" pleaded Akari, but it was too late for that.

Ryouga took a step back, surprised when Ryo's gloved fists suddenly lit up with ki energy. The effect was nearly dazzling, as Ryo swung ki-charged punch after punch, mixed in with occasional ki-charged umbrella hook swipes, towards Ryouga. None made it through Ryouga's defenses, but the punches that he blocked definitely did sting.

Ryo allowed himself a slight grin as he saw how much his new attack was surprising his foe. Of course, this sort of ki usage was incredibly draining, but Ryo was gambling that Ryouga would be thrown off stride enough to leave some sort of opening, one that he was ready to strike at with deadly force.

And then he saw his opening, a clear shot to Ryouga's chest. It was there, if he reacted fast enough.

If only he wasn't a typical Nerima Martial Artist.

"AN OPENING!" he yelled, swinging wildly with a left hook. Ryouga,  
being warned by the yell, dodged away, but not quick enough to evade Ryo grabbing him by the shirt. Apparently forgetting what happened the last time he tried it, Ryo went for the headbutt to Ryouga's face.

At the very last second he managed to slip away from Ryo's grasp,  
pulling himself down and away as Ryo's headbutt attempt surged forward. At the same time, Ryouga felt something big brush past him.

Ryo felt his skull connect solidly, but with something not... not quite Ryouga-ish. Bigger, yes. Harder, definitely much harder.

There was pain. Definitely. Ouch.

It was apparently a pig. A really big one too.

Ryo swaggered, almost falling off his feet. Be damned if I'm going to fall in battle to a pig!

The pig, who knew what it was hitting beforehand, also had its pride and refused to fall. The two were locked in post-headbutt position, slowly stepping away from each other while trying not to look utterly dazed.

The pig snorted defiantly.

Ryo grunted and slugged it in the jaw.

The pig toppled over.

*THUD*

Soon after, so did Ryo.

*THUD*

"Well, that was weird," said Ukyou. "Who'd think that a giant pig would come rushing out like... like..."

Giant pig?

Uh oh.

"Oh no," muttered Ukyou. "Please tell me Akari isn't around."

"Oh my!" said Akari, rushing up to Ryo's fallen form. "Is he okay?"

"Aaaargh, no no no!" griped Ukyou.

"Er, what's going on?" asked Ryouga.

"Akari," said Ukyou, "you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?"

"Huh? Will someone tell me what's going on?" wondered Ryouga. "And why's she got his head on her lap like that?"

"Remember how I explained to you about Akari and her pig?" said Ukyou.

"Yeah, so?" asked Ryouga.

Trying not to cringe at the sight of Akari gently stroking Ryo's hair, Ukyou said, "remember the part about BEATING her pig?"

"So what if someone beat... oh. Uh oh."

He finally got it.

"Akari, just this once, I don't think following your grandfather's wishes is such a good idea," said Ukyou.

"From what I hear, he has his good traits," said Akari casually. "He doesn't look too bad either."

"Akari, do you know WHO this person is?" asked Ukyou.

She took a moment to examine him. Fighting with Ryouga, dressed well, had a surly look to his face. Hrm.

"This is Ryoko's brother, isn't it? Ryo?" asked Akari. "If he's anything like his sister, he can't be all bad."

"Akari, this guy isn't someone you can trust," said Ukyou. Ryouga nodded vigorously in agreement. "In fact, he's dangerous."

It was at about this time that Ryo regained consciousness. The way in which he woke up reminded Akari of a pig. He first opened one eye,  
slowly, then closed it again and snorted.

Then he opened the eye again. Slowly.

And saw a rather cute girl's smile.

He couldn't help but blink.

"Hi there," she said gently.

"Ah... hi."

This was a situation he was entirely not used to. A gentle smile,  
a loving gaze, kind words, and his head resting on a female lap.

It was absolutely terrifying.

He bolted upright immediately, giving her a wary, narrow-eyed look.

"um... pardon me... must be running." Without further ado, he wobbled up to his feet then sprang away.

"Wait!" cried Akari. "Come back!" Before Ukyou could stop her,  
she ran off after her new infatuation at an amazing speed.

Sighing was the only thing Ukyou could do after seeing that. "Oh boy, this isn't good."

"Come on," said Ryouga, "we might as well go home."

"Yeah," she said, looking absently in the direction in which Akari ran off, "I'll just talk to her later."

For Ryouga, it was another reminder of the problem of a romantic nature he was facing, one that he really didn't want to think about either.

*  
"Sorry the evening got ruined like that," mumbled Ryouga. The two of them moved around the store front of Ucchans, making sure it was locked up for the night.

"Ruined? What do you mean?" wondered Ukyou.

"Well... running into everybody like that."

"Oh, that?" Ukyou wasn't sure what the problem was. Being in this neighborhood for the past year made her numb to attacks on dates by various martial artists. It was something that was expected.

Although it was awfully sweet of Ryouga to apologize about it. "No big deal. Weird coincidence, I guess."

"But I... I mean, I wanted..." Ryouga twiddled his thumbs, loosing sight of what it was he was wanting to say. "I mean... we don't get to relax much... and..."

Possibilities of what Ryouga was trying to say danced around the edge of Ukyou's mind. He wanted things to go perfectly? He wanted a perfect night out? He wanted to have a great evening... with me. She almost blushed.

"That's okay, sugar," said Ukyou, smiling. "There'll be other times."

"Yeah, I guess."

Ukyou proceeded to lock up the restaurant while Ryouga mulled in the middle of the room. She couldn't help but feel mildly irritated,  
though, as a scene from earlier in the days kept on replaying on her mind. Today's events only helped to remind her of it - Ryoko hanging on to Ryouga like that, while the dummy just stood there and stammered.

Unfortunately, Ryouga noticed, and he began to look a bit more uncomfortable, and that set off a chain reaction of her noticing and getting a bit more irritated, which in turn got him more uncomfortable until...

"Hey..." she said, "something else bothering you?"

"Hm?"

"You're looking weird."

"I am?"

"Yes," she said, "you are."

"Look," he said, sounding embarrassed, "Ryoko and I... we're not..."

Ukyou frowned. "And, ah, why are you telling me this?"

"You... I just don't want you to get the wrong idea, that's all. I just wanted to clear that up, okay?"

Ukyou sighed, sitting down next to Ryouga and looked him in the eye. "Listen, sugar, we both know what happens when you aren't honest about your feelings towards somebody."

"What do you mean by..."

"Don't be like Ranma," she said, her gaze unwavering. "Understand?"

"What d-"

"If you don't feel the same way," said Ukyou, "tell her. Don't keep her hanging on. Now do you understand?"

"I... guess I do. I'll.. talk to her about it."

Ukyou nodded approvingly. "Well... I'm bushed. Guess I'll go to sleep. G'night Ryouga."

"Yeah, good night."

Ukyou headed for her bedroom, then hesitated when she realized she'd left Ryouga at the kitchen, with no way for him to find his room. It might take him hours just to find his room again, and that'd mean she'd have a hard time waking him up the next day. Not good.

As she headed back to find Ryouga, she heard the phone ring. Ukyou crept back, silently, and peeked around the corner at the front register, where the phone was, and where Ryouga picked it up.

/Ryouga?/

"Ah... Ryoko?"

/Hi! What happened to you? You disappeared after I got through beating up that psychotic weirdo girl./

"I... ah... got lost. Look, I've gotta..."

/Hey, are you doing anything this Saturday?/

"Ah, Saturday? No. But I..."

/Great! Then WE can go out on a date Saturday, right?/

"Er... a date?! I, er..."

/Great! See you Saturday! Byebye!/

**click**

"A ... a date?"

Ryouga slowly put down the phone, took a deep breath, and tried not to yell. It didn't work.

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!"

Unseen and unheard, Ukyou went back to her room with a frown,  
muttering, "Spineless Moron! Wimp! Idiot!"

As far as she was concerned, that moron could find his room on his own.

-end part 5-  



	7. No Dance For Me

SUNDAY NIGHT

"Kinnosuke, sorry to disturb you but I'm in need of your services."

/Hey, that's okay. Just as long-/

"Of course, I'm ready to pay."

/Oh, well then, your wish is my command. Hadn't heard from you in a while. Where are you at?/

"Lounging about Nerima these days."

/Nerima? Hey, you wouldn't happen to know a Nabiki Tendo, would ya?/

"I know of one, yes. Why?"

/Next time you see her, send'er my regards./

"Oh-ho. A possible... interest?"

/Let's just say I admire her work./

"In-ti-res-ting."

/Right then, to business. What do you need?/

"Tell me what you know about a girl named Akari Unryuu."

/Unryuu... Unryuu... give me a moment to look that up... oh my./

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

ACT 1

PART 6

No Dance for Me ========================

MONDAY MORNING

Ranma got up, half-asleep, and stepped into the living room. Akane was already there and didn't look very much awake either.

"So, what is it today?" asked Ranma.

"Sumo day."

"Sumo day?"

"Sumo day."

"I hate sumo day."

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

"Oh my."

The morning greeted Akari Unryuu's doorstep with flowers of almost every color and shape, leaving her awestruck and speechless. She'd never received flowers before and the sight of the masses of flowers now made her feel giddy and light-headed.

There was a card.

It was a simple card, with no decorations, and rather small as well.

It had a simple message.

Good Morning

-Muhoshin Ryo

Much later...

"So, they still do this every morning?" asked Ryouga.

Nabiki nodded casually. "Well, ever since they announced they WOULD go through with the marriage after all, things got ugly.  
Although... some of them don't seem to be as enthusiastic as they used to be."

"Oh? why's that?" wondered Ukyou.

"Probably because Kuno-chan's bunch is bullying the other clubs into it, I think," said Nabiki.

"Goodness, isn't this dangerous?" wondered Akari.

"I feel sorry for all of'em," said Ukyou.

They watched from atop a wall as Ranma and Akane plowed into a horde of sumo wrestlers.

"And they're even on a schedule too," said Nabiki.

"Schedule?" asked Ukyou.

"Let's see... for this month, it's the Sumo Squad this morning, and the Tennis Team this afternoon."

A sumo wrestler entered Low Earth Orbit. Another went to the second floor via Akane Fist And Kick.

"Hm... Tuesday morning is archery..."

"Archery?!" boggled Ukyou.

"Yeah, archery. Oh, don't worry. They just shoot blunt-end arrows. More irritating than anything else, really. The afternoon is... ah..."

A sumo wrestler was thrown through a window into a room, where,  
seconds later, an explosion and purple smoke emerged.

"Oh yeah, Chem Club."

"Them too?" asked Ukyou.

"Yup. And Wednesday it's Akane's Stormtroopers."

"Akane's what?" asked Ryouga.

"Well, those guys," answered Nabiki, "just a bunch of students. Don't belong to any club, and their only goal is to date my sis."

"Why," asked Ukyou, "is the whole school so obsessed with Akane?" She wouldn't admit it, but she was feeling a little jealousy.

"I have no idea," said Nabiki. "AAAnyways, Wednesday morning is the Hockey Team, Wednesday afternoon is the Baseball Tea-"

"Okay, okay, we get the idea!" said Ukyou.

"How about Kuno?" wondered Ryouga.

The three of them ducked as a sumo wrestler zoomed through the air.

"Kuno-chan? He's up on Friday mornings, along with the kendo squad."

The three watched, slightly bored, as Ranma and Akane dismissed the last of the Sumo horde for the day.

"Hey! Ranma! Akane! Hurry up, you're gonna be late!" yelled Nabiki.

"See ya later, Nabiki," said Ukyou as she headed out into the hallway crowd and after Ryouga. "Hey! Ryouga! That's the wrong way! Wait up!"

And so, life resumed in Furinkan High.

The classes passed in a haze, as usual, but the lunch hour was another matter entirely.

The guys and the girls, as usual, seperated into their seperate little zones and talked of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

And boys.

In particular, Sayuri, Yuka, Manami, Akane, Akari, and Ukyou were gathered at a table, gossiping in general.

"What's with you, Akari?" wondered Sayuri.

"Hm?"

"You seem... really bubbly today." It was true, and rather noticable. She'd been smiling and grinning and humming all through the day.

"Just a nice day, that's all," she said cheerily.

"Ah... right." Sayuri let the matter drop, figuring she'd find out eventually, either from Akari or Nabiki.

"You know, the spring dance is coming up," said Yuka, "I'm so excited!"

"Is Daisuke seeing anybody?" asked Sayuri, "I think I'll ask him."

"Ranma asked you to go already, right?" asked Yuka.

"Well, not yet," answered Akane reluctantly.

"Jeez, is he still dense about these things?" wondered Sayuri.

"Guess so," said Yuka.

"How about you, Ukyou?" asked Akari.

"Hm? What about me?"

"Hasn't Ryouga asked you to the dance yet?"

"WHAT?"

"C'mon," said Yuka, "don't tell me you two aren't an item."

"It's not like that!"

"What's wrong with him? He does look cute," said Akari.

"We're just friends, really!"

"Riiight," said Sayuri. "Well, if he's not gonna take you, I hope he asks me!"

"Sayuri!" yelled Ukyou.

"Well," said Yuka, "Akari's right, he is cute. I wouldn't mind being with him either."

Meanwhile, somewhere on the boy's side of the lunch zone, Daisuke,  
Hiroshi, Ranma, and Ryouga were settled under a tree, digesting and such.  
"You watch that game last night? I tell ya, it was great," said Daisuke.

"Man, this is the most disgusting sandwich they've ever made," said Hiroshi, spitting out some of the cafeteria's fine cuisine.

"Akane must've cooked it," said Ranma, then quickly checked to make sure that she didn't hear that.

"Speaking of Akane," said Hiroshi, "you DID ask her to the dance,  
didn't you?"

"The what?"

"The spring dance! You know, the first dance in a LONG time that Principal Kuno approved?"

"Che, Principal Kuno'd probably have us shave our head or somethin'."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So you've asked Akane, right?" wondered Daisuke.

"I... well... no."

Hiroshi said, "You WANT Akane to pound you, then?"

"No! It's just-"

"Ranma's lucky, though," said Daisuke, "he's got someone to ask."

"How about you, Ryouga?" asked Ranma, hoping to get the spotlight off of himself, "you gonna ask Ucchan?"

Ryouga blinked. He wasn't used to being a focus of attention. "What?"

"You heard me. Well? C'mon, ask her out."

"Oh, that's right," said Hiroshi, "I forgot that you and Ukyou were a couple too."

Ryouga choked on a sandwich bit.

"So, when are ya askin' her out, Ryouga?" asked Ranma.

Ryouga spat out some processed tuna, still coughing a bit.

"Surprised nobody else asked her," said Hiroshi.

"Yeah, she's cute!" added in Daisuke.

"She's never hit you with a spatula before," muttered Ryouga.

"If I thought I had a chance, I'd ask her," said Hiroshi.

"You're a lucky guy, Ryouga," said Daisuke, "she's cute and can cook."

"You two even live together already," said Hiroshi.

"Hey hey, have you two, well, you know," asked Daisuke, elbowing Ryouga a bit. This wasn't wise.

"IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!" yelled Ryouga.

"Hey," said Daisuke in a low voice, with a bit of a sly grin. "If you're not gonna ask her... can I?"

"NO WAY!" bellowed Ryouga.

Ranma stayed quiet, enjoying the show. He was only too glad to have Ryouga take the spotlight for once.

"Why not?" wondered Hiroshi. "I thought you two aren't...?" asked Hiroshi.

"NO! Why'd I want to date her?" wondered Ryouga.

"What?!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "A babe like her? I don't believe you, man! What's wrong with her?"

"You think she's too ugly? You just aren't attracted to her? What?" asked Daisuke.

"Yes! NO! ARGH! Stop asking me!" yelled Ryouga.

Unfortunately, Ukyou was nearby, and she heard the bit about being too ugly. She calmly walked over with a hint of menace in her eyes. "What's that, Ryouga? You think I'm ugly?"

"Um, no, wait, I didn't mean that!"

"So you think I'm ugly, eh?!." She lifted her spatula from the sling and twirled it.

"Man, this is like deja-vu," said Ranma. "Only it's happening to someone else. This is cool."

"I didn't say it!" yelled Ryouga desperately. "No! UGH!"

Normally, the UGH would have been caused by a spatula to the head.

Not today.

"Oh-hohohohohoho! Ryouga-sama! How I've missed you," purred Kodachi as she latched onto Ryouga and glomped him firmly.

She was, again, in her leotard.

And holding him tightly.

Ryouga promptly sprouted a nosebleed and passed out.

"Ryouga-sama?" she asked.

"What a wimp," muttered Ranma.

"Ranma-sama!" said Kodachi. She sprang from Ryouga, dropping him to the floor, and soon had Ranma in her arms (and struggling to get out.)

"Hey! Leggo!"

"RRRRRAAAANMMAAA!"

Oh no thought Ranma, "Akane! Wait!"

Akane approached, blue battle aura and all.

"No! Wait! This isn't what it looks like!"

*WHAM*

King's Cafe, the lunch hour.

The bar was closed, reserved actually, for a private gathering.

At a long table was seated a large amount of people, roughly 50,  
all dressed in semi-formal garb and in a quiet and subdued manner. Seated at the head of the table was an old man, also in a suit. He seemed to radiate authority and respect. A few others were of middle age, but the rest of them were rather young, in their late teens or early twenties.

King heard vague rumors of the elderly man at the head of the table. He was a master of some secret school of martial arts, but beyond that, she did not know. Naturally, she watched from a distance with great curiosity.

Ryo Muhoshin sat quietly near the end of the table, surrounded by his siblings and other members of the now defunct UWSMA. He looked at who was seated at the front of the table and was rather impressed.

There was Sensei Tanaka, who took part in training Ryoko under the recreational equipment division.

There was Sensei Yamada, who could not only take down several opponents with kitchenware, but could also use, for example, a wet fish (and coined the phrase 'Well slap me with a wet fish!'), and defend himself well.

There was Sensei Morimoto of the gardening division, Sensei Matsuzushi of the hair care division, and there was Sensei Kobayashi,  
a living legend and master of forest survival. Leave him in the forest, unarmed, and he'll only need to use a clump of dirt and a weed to bring you down.

There was someone that caught Ryo's eye. A girl. Sitting next to the sensei of the Janitorial Division. A short haired, fairly uncomfortable looking GAIJIN girl. She was shifting around uneasily and was looking generally out of place. He narrowed his eyes. Why,  
he wondered, was a barbarian foreigner amongst us? She noticed his gaze and returned it with an equally hostile glare, then turned away.

There was something familiar about her though. He just couldn't remember at the moment.

Ah. There was a familiar face in the crowd. Ryo prodded his memory for a moment, until a name finally emerged.

Kousuke.

Kousuke... Kousuke... oh yes. Him. Ryo broke his leg on a whim once. Must say 'hello' and 'how's the leg?' sometime. Hahah.

And then there was one of the higher ranking masters, Sensei Miyaji. He was also the Muhoshin's legal guardian. Of course, the rather independent nature of them made it somewhat difficult to manage them. At the worst was Ryo, who despised any interference from 'the old man'. On the better side was Kyoko, who called him 'grandpapa'.

With an *ahem* and a cough, Miyaji stood up to address everyone.

"Ladies, gentlemen, it's good too see you all looking well," said Sensei Miyaji, stroking his beard. "This will probably be the last gathering in a while of what was once a proud and long-lived school of martial arts..."

The crowd seemed to be saddened at this point.

"... but I an not content to see it die in such an undignified way. There will be a rebuilding. I've talked with other elder sensei,  
we'll see what can be done. Until then, I wish you all the best in your new lives."

The applause started.

"Oh, I should mention that one of your colleagues, Ami, could not be here. She sends her regards," he continued, "but the good news is that she now serves the royal family."

The crowd cheered at this. It was quite an achievement to get that position.

"Now, let us enjoy our lunch."

The crowd ate, a bit subdued, but still with conversation. People caught up with what was happening with others, congratulations and condolences were given, and a generally pleasant time was had by all.  
Soon, the luncheon was over, and Ryo strolled to the doors, eager to avoid the nagging of his former (tor)mentors.

As Ryo and his siblings exited the cafe, he heard an *ahem* behind him, and turned to see Sensei Miyaji standing behind him.

Kyoko yelled out a loud WAI and glomped the old fellow. "Sensei-granpa!" she bubbled.

"Oh, hey," muttered Megane.

"Sensei Miyaji! How're you doing nowadays?" asked Ryoko.

Ryo scowled.

Miyaji smiled as he looked over his (legally) foster children. "I'm doing well for myself, retirement and such you know? I'll visit you all again right now, but for now..." His tone turned a bit on the serious and stern side, "Ryo Muhoshin, I need to talk to you young man, alone."

Ryo looked at his sisters and brother briefly. "Go on home," he said.

Megane tsked.

Kyoko jumped up and down. "Oooooh, Ryo's in trouuuuuble."

Ryoko looked at her watch. Hm, by now Ryouga oughta be... "I'm gonna go visit Ryouga, be back home later."

They left quickly, leaving Ryo and Sensei Miyaji alone.

"Come, let us walk a bit," said the sensei.

Ryo frowned, but followed. He'd rather not follow the old man, but one had to show some respect some time.

"What a day," muttered Ryouga, trudging home, feeling relieved that the school day was over.

"No kidding," said Ukyou, who walked along with him. She pulled him back in the right direction every now and then.

"How dare they ask me if I... ah..."

"Hm? Ask ya what?" queried Ukyou.

"Um, never mind."

"C'mon, tell me!"

"I'd rather not."

"Okay, fine, be that way," muttered Ukyou.

"What do you mean by that?!"

"Pigheaded," said Ukyou. There was a hint of a smile on the edge of her face, but Ryouga didn't notice it.

"HEY!"

"Just kidding!"

They walked on in silence for a while longer.

"You really don't wanna say? Okay."

"It's just that the guys were asking me, um, who I was gonna ask to the spring dance," said Ryouga, blushing lightly.

"Oh, ah, that." Ukyou suddenly wished she hadn't asked.

"They were just, well, wondering when I'd, um, ah, ask you to..."

"RYOUGA-SAMA! OH-HOHOHOHO!"

Ryouga froze in horror. Not AGAIN! Please not Kodachi, please not Kodachi, please-

It was Kodachi.

"Ryouga, darling, have some roses," said Kodachi, tossing a bouquet of black roses at him. Ryouga batted it away with ease. He was a victim of her roses once already, and he didn't care to be one again.

"W-what do you..."

Ukyou sighed. Somebody buy Ryouga a spine, please.

"Just came here to remind you, Ryouga-sama, about the spring dance. We are going, aren't we?"

"WHAT? NO W-"

"A school dance? Ryouga, you were gonna ask me, right?" said Ryoko as she arrived on the scene.

Shouldn't these things wondered Ryouga be happening to Ranma?

"And who are you, peasant girl?" sneered Kodachi.

Ryouga would've said something at this point, but he was momentarily paralyzed, and not too happy either.

"Peasant girl?" Ryoko pulled out her twin iron-weighted yo-yos and approached Kodachi with extreme malice.

Ukyou, seeing a possible disaster building up, tried to cool things down. "C'mon, girls, calm down, let's not fight, okay?"

"Oh-ho, so the hack chef has an interest in my Ryouga-sama too?"

Ryoko blinked.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" yelled Ukyou.

Ryouga finally decided that enough was enough and tried to step in.

"Take this, you wenches!" yelled Kodachi as she tossed a gas grenade bouquet at them. Ukyou and Ryoko managed to get clear, but Ryouga didn't see it coming. He was, again, paralyzed by Kodachi.

Then the fighting got underway.

Normally, this would be a pleasant day in the park.

Not today. Why? Ryo Muhoshin and Sensei Miyaji were strolling in it, and that raised the potential for violence quite a bit.

The sensei seemed to be relaxed, but Ryo was dreading the conversation that was about to take place.

"Ryo."

"Hm?"

*whap*

"Talk properly, boy!"

"Itai... yes, sensei."

"I want to talk to you about a few things."

Ryo frowned.

*WHAP*

"Show some respect for your elders!"

"YES SENSEI!"

"Now... first of all, how are your brother and sisters doing?"

"I see no need to worry about them, sensei," he said cooly.

"I take it that means everything is fine?"

"I suppose, sensei."

"And your sister, Ryoko, she has given up on the boy Hibiki?"

"Yes, sensei," lied Muhoshin.

"Hm. I must talk with her later."

"Of course, sensei."

"Where was I... oh yes, first of all, I'd just like you to know that I've heard about what you've been up to, and I don't like it."

Ryo remained cautiously silent.

"Our school was founded for the purpose of PROTECTING lives, not ending them! You are taking everything we've taught you and tarnishing it."

Ryo winced.

"Muhoshin, I know that the other instructors pushed you by comparing you to that Hibiki boy all the time, but it was not supposed to lead to a burning hatred for him."

"Right."

*WHAP*

"Right, Sensei."

"And I heard... I heard you were dealing with the Shadoloo."

Ryo decided to remain silent on this topic.

*WHAP*

"What... was that for..." growled Ryo.

"You had it coming. You know not what you deal with when you deal with the Shadoloo, boy."

"I think I do."

"Oh, so you think you're better than I?"

"Yes."

"Well then," said Sensei Miyagi, "let's see about that." He pulled out a twin set of fans.

Ryo adjusted the gloves on his hands and looked at his sensei from the corner of his eye.

"I've learned a few things," he said, as his fists began glowing with ki-energy.

Ryouga wasn't in a good mood. He was also still paralyzed.

"Oh-hohohohoho! Fighting with toys, little girl?" taunted Kodachi,  
to which Ryoko replied by slinging her yo-yo out and breaking Kodachi's nose with lightning speed.

"You liddle bidth! You shall bay for dat!" sneered Kodachi, while she held her now bleeding nose.

"Shut up and fight!" Ukyou charged with her spatula, but Kodachi managed to spring free and whip around wildly with her ribbon.

Ryouga was definitely not in a good mood. These things he thought happen to Ranma, not me!

Kodachi snared a park bench and tossed at Ryoko, who dodged easily. Instead, the bench hit Ryouga.

All this, because everyone thinks I love somebody...

Ryoko slung her yo-yos and snared Kodachi by the ankle, then pulled hard, swinging her around. Unfortunately, Ukyou was in the way.

Love. Ha. I've had enough of that. It's given me NOTHING but HURT and DISAPOINTMENT.

Ukyou shoved Kodachi away, but unfortunately Kodachi's ribbon was beginning to tangle everyone up...

Love? Who needs it?! Not me!

In a surprise attack, Kodachi went for Ryouga's arm, hoping to drag him off somewhere more private (and comfortable). Ryoko countered by grabbing the other arm, and Ukyou managed to get a hold of his foot.

Ryouga was beginning to glow, and not entirely from depression either. He put up with things that the fairer sex did, believing that girls needed to be treated more gently than boys in general. However,  
there was only so much he could take.

He really didn't like being treated like a rope in a 3-way tug-of-war.

"CUT IT OUT!"

The three girls froze from the sudden outburst, as Ryouga overcame massive chemical poisoning to stand up in a pose of anger and angst.

"Ryouga-sama?" asked Kodachi.

"Ryouga?" asked Ryoko.

"I'm _not_ going to the spring dance with anyone, I'm not dating anyone, I DON'T want to date anyone, I DON'T NEED ANY OF THIS!"

This brought an immediate halt to the squabbling of the ladies.

"Ryouga, you don't mean it..." said Ryoko.

"EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ryouga ran off, very angry,  
leaving behind three stunned and silent girls.

"You see, Muhoshin, the student has yet to surpass the master."

Ryo mumbled.

"Now, take my advice, boy, first of all, learn from your mistakes,  
don't be angry from them."

Ryo groaned.

"Second, get back to your roots and mind your manners."

"That's... three."

*WHAP*

"Ow."

"Don't contradict me. Anyways, fourth, don't hold on to your hate,  
Muhoshin, it serves only to hinder you."

"Right..."

*WHAP*

"Right... Sensei."

"And finally, you were trained to be a protector, not a criminal!"

"Yes... Sensei."

"Very well then. I'm going now."

"Sayonara, Sensei."

"And I'll be in touch again, keep that in mind."

"Oh, good."

*WHAP*

"Don't be a smartass, boy."

"Y-yesss, sensei..."

"Oh. And one more thing... I hear you've been taking on Happosai."

Ryo blinked. How'd the Sensei hear of that?

"Don't bother, boy, greater men than you have tried to kill him."

"I nearly succeeded."

"Did you pierce his body with a spear? Drown him in a river? Toss him in a cave full of explosives?"

"No..."

*THWAP*

"N-no, sensei."

"Then you haven't even come close to the best of efforts. He gets hurt, oh yes, but he NEVER dies. He is amongst the greatest evils of Japan today, boy. If you had hurt him, he was probably playing with you. He does that, you know, finds someone to amuse him and teases that unfortunate soul for YEARS."

Ryo nodded slowly.

"Now get your act together, boy, Or Else."

Sensei Miyaji walked away, calmly, and fanning himself casually.

Ryo was imbedded in a wall, upside-down, cut, singed, and worn out. He sighed. Wasn't this sort of thing, he wondered, supposed to stop once he left the dojo?

When he was sure he was out of sight, Sensei Miyaji started to limp down the street a little and rub some spots where singe marks were. He paused, looking at the rooftops. The boy was definitely improving,  
and he was afraid that without guidence, he'd become nothing more than a criminal.

Then he sensed someone.

"Show yourself," he said. The gaijin girl from the luncheon sprung down from the rooftops. "You are... a student of Sensei Giichi's, are you not?"

"Yes, sensei," she replied, in a somewhat uneven, British-accented tongue. Whoever she was, it was very obvious that Japanese was a second language to her.

"What was your reason for watching us?" he asked evenly.

"I am searching for Hibiki."

"Hibiki?"

"Ryouga Hibiki."

"You?"

The girl nodded.

"And may I ask why?" inquired Miyaji.

"It is of a... personal matter, Sensei. Sorry if I've disturbed you." Without another word, she sprang away through the rooftops.

"Young people these days," grumbled the Sensei.

Ranma and Akane walked out of the house as the sun rose, still somewhat tired.

"What day is it?" asked Ranma.

"Stormtrooper day."

"Stormtrooper day? That's not so bad."

And so another Wednesday began in Nerima.

Akari, Nabiki, Yuka, Sayuri and Ukyou watched from afar as Ranma and Akane charged into a horde of miscellaneous students.

"So, Ryouga still hasn't come back?" asked Akari.

"No, but I'm sure he's okay," said Ukyou, although she didn't sound convinced herself.

"Come on, admit it, you kinda like him," said Sayuri.

"No!"

"Gotta admit, he's got a nice bod," said Nabiki.

The five of them ducked as a student flew by them.

"What's that?!" asked Ukyou.

"Cute butt too," said Yuka, giggling.

"I don't believe you guys!" said Ukyou, but couldn't surpress a little smile.

"Fine, fine, you don't have a thing for him," said Nabiki in a sarcastic tone.

"Riiiight," agreed Akari.

They watched in silence as Ranma sweep-kicked a wave of Stormtroopers away.  
"It has been a while since he left, though, hasn't it?" asked Yuka.

"Three days now," said Sayuri.

"Come on, you know how Ryouga is," said Ukyou. "He's probably in Kyoto by now. Right?"

"It is a possibility," said Nabiki. "The odds are likely."

"And you're not worried?" asked Akari.

"Of course not!" said Ukyou, looking mildly offended. Ryouga,  
where the heck are you, idiot?

Ryoko polished the tables slowly, in lazy circles. Around... and around...

"Hey, kid, something bothering ya?" asked King.

"I... well..."

"I thought you were on your way home after that big luncheon."

"I guess, well, Ryouga just dumped me, I think." Ryoko slumped in a chair.

"Jeez, sorry to hear that," said King. She handed Ryoko a tall glass of cola. "Have a soda on the house."

"Thanks, boss."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No... not really."

"Okay, you say so."

I don't know why you said what you did thought Ryoko, But I'm not giving up on you that easy, Ryouga.

Meanwhile, somewhere out there...

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the Tendo Dojo is?"

"Que?"

"Um... Donde... esta... Tendo Dojo?"

"Ah! What a day!" said Yuka. "I need a break!" She, along with Sayuri, Ukyou, Akari, and Manami strolled out of the school, tired.

"And next week'll be filled with exams," sighed Sayuri.

"Poker night, tonight?" asked Manami, "maybe we can all study after?"

"Sounds alright to me," said Ukyou.

"I, ah, can't make it tonight," said Akari.

"What? Why not?" asked Manami.

"Oooh, I bet she's got a hot date!" teased Yuka.

"Well..." squeaked Akari.

"WHAT?" the other girls yelled. "Who? Is he cute? When did you meet him? Did he beat that sumo pig of yours?" they asked her.

"Oh my, look at the time, I'd better run or I'm gonna be late! See you later!" Akari ran off.

"Details, we want details!" demanded Yuka.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, three shady gentlement were having a conversation in a cafe somewhere.

"What happened to you?"

"I'd rather not say."

"So, what's the plan?"

"We're all a little low on cash right now, eh?"

"Yeah."

"True."

"Gentlemen, she's a bit on the gullable side, doesn't suspect a thing, and she's the daughter of a rather wealthy family."

"You're not suggesting..."

"Hey, wait a minute now..."

"Is this hesitation I sense? I know you two are nearly at the end of your finances."

"But this-"

"C'mon, it's too-"

"This will be a safe operation."

"Wait a-"

"We can't-"

"Care to be homeless and broke?"

The other two remained silent.

"So... are you in?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alright... but nobody gets hurt, okay?"

"Of course," lied Ryo. "Wait a minute... oh my."

"What?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting her now. Adieu, gents."

[The next day...]

Akane walked over to Ranma's room and prodded him until he was awake.

"Uhm... I'm awake, I'm awake."

"C'mon, get up, we'll be late."

"What day izzit?"

"Kendo."

"Kendo?"

"Kendo."

"I really hate Kendo."

And so, Friday in Furinkan High began, as usual.

"Where is that idiot," muttered Ukyou as she watched Ranma and Akane dive into a sea of kendo practicioners..

"C'mon, you said that Ryouga could take care of himself," said Sayuri.

"Yeah, but he's been gone for four days now..."

"You know how he is, he's probably in New York or somewhere else," said Sayuri.

"But still, I dunno, I..."

"Hey, you're not actually worried about him, are you?" asked Yuka.

"I bet she is!" teased Sayuri.

"OF course I'm not!" yelled Ukyou.

"Duck," said Nabiki.

The four of them ducked as several kendoists flew past then and into the classroom behind them.

They lapsed into momentary silence and watched as Ranma hit Kuno 315 times with the tenshin-amaguri-ken technique.

"I'm just worried about him AS A FRIEND!" yelled Ukyou.

"So you are worried about him!" said Sayuri and Yuka.

"So what?" she shot back.

Ranma watched in surprise as Kuno arose from the ground, still ready to fight. Ever since the accident that landed them in the hospital, Kuno's endurance seemed to be up.

"Isn't that sweet?" asked Sayuri.

"Touching, really," said Yuka.

"Cut it out guys," grumbled Ukyou.

Akane kicked Kuno in the gut, and Ranma followed with another barrage of punches. Kuno flew back into a tree, but got up once more,  
only slightly worn down.

"I FIGHT ON!" he declared.

"Wow, Kuno-chan's endurance has _improved_," said Nabiki.

"Oh, so you're after Kuno, Nabiki?" asked Ukyou.

"No, not really."

"I heard you were dating that Isamu guy, is that true?" asked Yuka.

"I decline to comment at this time," said Nabiki with a smirk.

"I SHALL SMITE THEE!" roared Kuno as he charged at Ranma. A streak of lightning ran across the sky, and for a moment Ranma thought he saw an odd purplish aura flicker around his foe.

"How he does that, I'll never know," mused Nabiki.

"Oh jeez, we're gonna be late!" said Yuka, staring at her watch.

"Hey! Ranma! Hurry up!" yelled Nabiki.

"He shall be joining his ancestors in but a moment!" ranted Kuno as he slashed wildly, demolishing another part of the Furinkan High walls. His bokken seemed to flicker occasionally with a dark aura accompanying every swing.

"I'm trying, okay?!" Ranma yelled back, springing off a wall and smashing a knee into Kuno's head. Akane followed up with a kick to Kuno's gut, which once again, knocked him off of his feet, and finally knocked him out.

"Jeez," said Ranma, breathing hard, "what's with Kuno?"

"He used to fall down A LOT faster," said Akane.

For the last several weeks, in fact, Tatewaki Kuno had displayed a remarkable and alarming endurance. Where once he would have been knocked out easily, he now merely took the hit and fought ever onward. Basically, he was approaching levels of endurance rivaling Ranma's,  
which was high indeed.

The school bell rang.

"Oh great, we're late," muttered Ranma.

As the students grudgingly went to their seats, Sayuri walked by and nudged Akari. "Psst, you're gonna tell us about your date, ne?"

Akari blushed. "Later, later! The teacher's coming!"

"But you _will_ tell us, ne?"

Great, she sighed to herself, I love this class.

Ukyou sat in economics class, occasionally fidgeting, definitely bored. She dealt with economics every day, since she was running the restaurant, and she strongly felt that sitting through this class was incredibly redundant.

Ukyou did what every bored student did when this crisis hits them.

She doodled.

She scribbled out spatulas, and okonomiyakis, and every now and then, a figure with a bandanna with the word "STUPID" written over it.

Where is that idiot anyways wondered Ukyou.

"Kuonji."

Stupid jerk. Doesn't even call to say that he's alright.

"Ukyou Kuonji."

Not that *I* care if that idiot gets himself lost in Bangladesh,  
or Australia, or... or... whatever!

"KUONJI!"

Ukyou snapped to attention. "WHAT?! WHAT?!"

"That's it! BUCKET! HALL! NOW!"

[A moment later... ]

"So, what're you out here for?" asked Ranma.

"I, er, wasn't paying attention in class," muttered Ukyou. "And you two?"

"Late," said Akane.

"Jeez, these are kinda heavy," said Ukyou, lifting up a bucket of water.

"Ya get used to it," said Ranma, "and besides, it builds strength. Just look at Akane. I mean, she's strong as a gorilla an-" *WHAP*

"Shut up!" yelled Akane.

"Jeez! What'd I say?"

After a two minute argument, which seemed to Ukyou (and an alarming number of Furinkan High students) like it was a badly written script involving the use of the word 'Tomboy' and 'Jerk'(but, noted some Ranma &amp; Akane observers, lacked that certain nasty edge that their past arguments had), things settled into an uneasy sort of silence.

Ukyou couldn't stand it.

"Hey, ah, any of you guys heard from Ryouga lately?" she asked.

"Lost boy? He's probably in Australia or somethin'."

"You mean he hasn't been back yet?" asked Akane.

"Nope."

"And the dance is tonight too," said Akane.

"Hm? What's that supposed to mean?" wondered Ukyou.

"He was going to take you to the dance, right?"

"What? NO!"

"C'mon, you want him to, don't ya," teased Ranma.

"Oh shut up."

Meanwhile...

"Excuse me, can you tell me where Tokyo is?" asked a somewhat ragged and exhausted Ryouga.

The store owner blinked and pointed to a spot _behind_ Ryouga, who turned around to see skyscrapers decorating the skyline.

"Oh, I'm here?!"

The storekeeper nodded slowly.

"THAT'S GREAT! Now tell me which way to Nerima?"

The storekeeper pointed south.

"Thanks!"

It would be stating the obvious to say that Ryouga went the wrong way despite the directions, but it has to be said.

He went the wrong way.

Sunset, Nerima...

Ukyou closed up shop a little early, feeling tired for some reason. She hung up the sign, locked up the doors, then sat down in a chair,  
giving off a sigh.

Moments later, a chair flew out of the front door, propelled by a mighty swing of Ukyou's combat spatula. It hit a lamp pole with a loud *CLANG* and sagged to the floor. Surprisingly, the chair wasn't damaged, but instead sprouted a head and some limbs and wobbled off. The lamp pole was ruined.

"Wow, not a scratch," said Tsubasa as he wobbled down the street.

"AND STAY OUT!" yelled Ukyou, and slammed the door shut.

"Just great," she muttered, "one hell of a day, really."

Ukyou changed into her house clothes, a simple t-shirt and shorts,  
and promptly became one with the nation, via the miracle of tv.

She had one thing on her mind, or to be accurate, one thing that she decided was not on her mind.

Who cares if the dance is tonight. Who cares if I'm missing it. Who cares if everyone thinks I've got a thing for Ryouga. Not me,  
dammit.

The front doors clattered a bit.

"Ryouga? You there?"

Ukyou went to the front doors and checked, but they were still locked.

"Just the wind, I guess," she said to nobody in particular.

She wandered back into the residential part of Ucchan's, and paused as she passed by the attic stairs. Ukyou stood there for a moment,  
climbed up the stairs, knocked on the attic door, and peeked in.

Empty.

Why did I even bother.

She sighed, not feeling peaceful enough to vegitate in front of the television, not energetic enough to go out.

Ukyou did the only thing left that she knew might ease.

Ryouga, crawling on his hands and knees, exhausted, reached weakly for the backdoor of Ucchan's.

"I... I made it back..."

He touched the doorknob and pulled.

It was locked.

He tugged on the door.

"IEEE! THIEF! BURGLAR!"

"What the..." stuttered Ryouga.

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*

"Owww."

Ukyou stopped swinging madly with her megaspatula and paused to look at who she was hitting.

"Oh! Ryouga! I'm sorry! C'mon, let's get you in the house." And so, after several days of being lost, tired, and desperate,  
Ryouga finally was dragged back 'home'. Although he wasn't conscious enough to notice it at the time.

Gosunkugi was, for once, happy.

Ever since he got a bit sharper with his magic, he'd been dazzling his fellow students with minor yet rather nifty magic tricks.

Tonight, for instance, the dance was not illuminated by light bulbs, but by nice fuzzy glowing spheres cast where light bulbs would normally be. Needless to say, he gained much respect, quickly.

Tonight, he was dressed fairly well, in a nifty blue suit, white shirt, and nondescript tie, and his date was in a somewhat elegant light blue dress. They matched rather well.

And now... and now... they were slow dancing.

This, in Hikaru Gosunkugi's short life, was a major milestone.

Meanwhile, Ranma and Akane were also slow-dancing, but rather cautiously.

"Watch your feet."

"I am, jerk."

"Slow down, I'm supposed to lead. Tomboy."

"Is that so?"

"Yup."

Some things never change.

And so, amongst the swirl of the crowds, these two couples swayed,  
content in their own...

"You stepped on my foot again."

"You got in the way."

... unique way.

The music died down for a brief break, and the couples on the dance floor of the gym moved to the sides and idly chattered.

"I guess Ryouga isn't coming after all," said Akane.

"Probably in Alaska or somethin'," said Ranma. "Saaaay, you seen Daisuke or Hiroshi anywhere?"

"Well, I think I saw Hiroshi talking to some girl named Hiroe."

"Hiroshi and Hiroe... hm, sounds catchy."

"What's with the lights?" asked Akane.

"What about'em?"

"Look, a few of them are getting kinda dim."

"Better ask Gosunkugi about it."

Gosunkugi noticed. It started when the couples started dancing again. There was this... this _area_ where the lights that he cast briefly faded for some reason, and that area seemed to be moving around. As Manami held his hand while they sat at a table, Gos stared out into the crowd, curiosity demanding to find out what was causing his magic to fade out there.

He stared in shock as that dark area swept by him, with his 'twin'  
at the center of it, gliding across the floor, dancing.

Akari swayed in Ryo's arms, surprised to finally find someone that was good enough to beat her pig, and so much a gentleman too.

Ryo smiled, but not for the obvious reasons.

Oddly enough, neither noticed the dim lights.

Also noticed by none, Tatewaki Kuno prowled along, searching for his pig-tailed goddess. And the lights around him dimmed too,  
although people generally attributed this to him being dim.

"Um, sorry about that," said Ukyou, somewhat embarrased.

"S... s'okay, I understand," replied a somewhat battered Ryouga,  
who was sprawled on the living room couch. Four days of global travel and a beating by spatula left him totally exhausted.

Ukyou sat in the lounger, Ryouga continued to melt into the couch.

There was an awkward silence. Ryouga didn't like it. It seemed that he'd been having to deal with long awkward silences more nowadays.

"So, um, what'd I miss?" asked Ryouga nervously.

"Hm? Not much, not much. There's some homework you might've missed. Better ask your classmates about that."

"Yeah."

"There's also that dance tonight," said Ukyou in an I-don't-really-care tone of voice.

"Dance?"

"School dance."

"Ranma and Akane are there, I guess."

"Yeah."

There was another moment of awkward silence.

"I, ah, I'm sorry I'm late," said Ryouga.

"Late? For what?" wondered Ukyou.

"Er, I mean, lost. Sorry I got lost."

"Oh, okay."

Once more, there was a total absence of noise.

"Well, I didn't want to go anyways," said Ukyou.

"Go?"

"Um, to the Spring Dance."

"Oh."

"How about... how about you?"

"Me?" asked Ryouga, "I can't dance anyways, it wouldn't matter."

"You don't know how to dance?"

"No."

"Not at all?" she asked, surprised.

"Not really," he admitted.

"Aw, at least slow dance. Anyone can do that."

"Actually, I've never even tried. Being lost all the time, I never really had much time to, well, dance."

"Ooh, so that's why you didn't want to go to the club."

Ryouga nodded.

"And no wonder you didn't win over Akane. Can't dance, can't even tell her you like her, and you freaked out around her way too much,"  
teased Ukyou.

"HEY!"

"Just teasin' ya, lost boy!"

"Hrmph."

"Oh, c'mon, I'll show ya!"

"What?!"

"C'mon, it's fun. Easy too. You've got to know how to dance in SOME way, Ryouga. How else are ya gonna win over the next lucky girl you go after?"

"Good point." Ryouga shrugged.

"Hold on, lemme see, I've got a CD around here somewhere... Ah,  
here it is! Of course, I don't know half of what they're saying, but still, the music sounds nice."

Ukyou turned on her CD player and put in a CD. A somewhat slow tune began to play.

Generally, a nice tune, although Ryouga couldn't understand most of it.

It was in English.

o/" When the night has come o/" o/" And the land is dark o/" o/" And the moon is the only light we'll see o/"

"Sounds kinda old," said Ryouga.

"I think the Americans call it Motown," answered Ukyou.

"Motown?"

"Don't ask. Anyways, here's how it works. Stand up a sec,  
willya?"

"Alright, alright." Ryouga got up slowly.

"Okay, now, you put your hands on my hips."

"What?!"

o/" No, I won't be afraid o/" o/" No, I won't be afraid o/"

Ukyou bapped Ryouga on the head. "It's dancing, not groping. Stop thinkin' perverted thoughts. I'm just teaching you, got it?"

"Oh, ah, aheheh, sorry."

o/" Just as long o/" o/" as you stand o/" o/" stand by me o/"

"Now, your hands on my sides..."

Ryouga put his hands on her sides, just above her hips.

"And your dance partner will usually put her hands on your shoulders like this..."

Ukyou put her hands on his shoulders.

"Now what?" asked Ryouga.

"Just sway a bit."

o/" So darling, darling o/" o/" Stand, by me, o/"

"Ow!" yelled Ukyou.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"Slow down a bit, and watch your feet."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Okay, okay, now shut up and relax."

o/" Oh, stand by me o/" o/" Oh stand o/" o/" stand by me o/" o/" stand by me o/"

"Hey, this isn't hard," said Ryouga.

"See? Easy, huh?"

"Yeah... it is."

Ryouga began to relax, forgetting that he had a rather cute girl in his arms, and swayed to the music, relaxed.

Ukyou forgot that she was in the arms of a rather attractive young man, and relaxed, putting her head on his shoulder. Either Ryouga didn't notice, or didn't mind.

o/" If the sky that we look upon o/" o/" should tumble and fall o/" o/" or the mountains should crumble to the sea o/" o/" I won't cry, I won't cry o/" o/" no I won't shed a tear o/"

"Wish I could've danced with Akane like this," sighed Ryouga.

"Wish I could've danced with Ranchan like this too," said Ukyou.

They looked at each other briefly, then laughed.

"Pathetic, aren't we?" asked Ukyou.

"Seems like it," said Ryouga.

o/" just as long o/" o/" as you stand o/" o/" stand by me o/"

"Hey, Ukyou."

"Hm?"

"Thanks for the dance lesson."

"No problem. S'what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Just don't ask me to teach ya the Lambada."

"The what?"

"Never mind."

o/" So darling, darling, o/" o/" stand by me o/" o/" oh, stand by me o/" o/" oh stand o/" o/" stand by me o/" o/" stand by me o/"

-end part 6-  



	8. To Socialize With The More Pleasant Circ

tpoh-7

======================== The Pursuit Of Happiness Act 1 Part 7 To Socialize With The More Pleasant Circles of Nerima =====================================================

Dinner time.

One of the most important and vital times of the day, especially if you're in the Saotome household and have five people and one voracious panda to feed.

Kasumi dug through the cabinets and shelves, but they were, for today's dinner, lacking in neccessary ingredients.

Were Genma there, he'd certainly call it an emergency situation.

He wasn't there, but he would be in a moment.

Well, there was just one thing to be done, in that case.

"Father, I'll be out for a little while."

"Oh?"

"Just to the market, we're out of some supplies."

*RING!*

"Hello?"

/Um, is Manami there?/

"Yeah, this is Manami."

/Hi! This is Sayuri! What are you up to?/

"Not too much, but you caught me on my way out..."

/Oh? Where're you going?/

"It's nothing really, just out with a friend..."

/Out... as in... going out?

"No! It's just a small thing."

/Oh. I see... hm. Well, I'm just calling to ask you if you're going to be with us in the study group today?/

"Oh no, that's today?"

/You didn't forget, did you?/

"Er... well..."

/You did./

"Well... yeah..."

/So... you can't come?/

"*sigh* I completely forgot. I'm gonna be out all day."

/Oooh reeeally... ?

"Um, yeah."

/So you ARE going on a date! *giggle*/

"No! It's not a date! He's just a friend! We're just having a small picnic. That's all."

/That's all? All day... it *is* with a boy, right?/

"Yeah..."

/You're spending the day with a guy. Tell us the details later?/

"HEY!"

/Well, if you don't want to.../

"*sigh* We'll see."

/*Giggle!* So, who are you going with? Is it Gosunkugi?/

/Hello?/

"Why are you so nosey, anyway?"

/I'm just... curious how it is to have a boyfriend.../

"He's _not_ my boyfriend!"

/Oops. Sorry. *sigh* I wish you could make it tonight, I think they're going to be playing cards tonight. It could be fun!/

"Hm, I don't know..."

/Come with us, please? Everyone will be there! Ranma and Akane are coming. Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka, Akari, Ukyou and Ryouga will be there too./

"R-Ryouga? Oh, well... that sounds nice, but I don't know about tonight. It really depends on what Hikaru-kun wants to do..."

/Oh./

"Look, we'll see, okay? I'll ask him if he wants to go."

/Alright! Hope to see you there!/

"Yeah, we'll see. Look, I gotta run. I'll talk to you later,  
right?"

/Okay! And keep us posted, okay?/

"Sayuri!"

/*Giggle*/

"Well, see you later! Ja!"

*CLICK*

A few minutes later...

"Hey! Gos-kun!"

Hikaru Gosunkugi blinked. He was in his room, and didn't expect anyone yelling to his window. Gos cautiously poked his head out the window, and was greeted by the sight of...

"M-Manami!"

Understand, the concept of Hikaru Gosunkugi WITH a girl was something fairly alien to him, and the rest of Nerima as well.

"Hi! C'mon, s'great weather today! Let's go!"

"Go? Um, go where?"

Ryouga-chan sighed.

Some days, he (now a she) found out, Ukyou could be a real mean lady.

Today was a good example.

"Ryouga! To the left!" yelled Ukyo.

He turned left.

Ryouga looked down at her waitress outfit and sighed in disgust. Ukyo was the one that suggested it, since, after all, customers liked pretty waitresses, not bumbling lost waiters. Ryouga did refuse, but then Ukyo reminded him it was HER place he had been staying at, and at NO expense at all, and basically saddled him with enough guilt to sink a small boat. It was entirely unpleasant to him, now a her, the way that the men would look at her. Ryouga just wanted to scream out "I'M A GUY!" but it just wouldn't do under these circumstances.

"You went past it! Take a few steps back!"

He took a few steps back.

Mercifully, Ucchan's had shorter hours nowadays, partially because Ukyo wanted more time off, and partially because she could afford it now that Nabiki was her investment broker.

"No, no, no! Ya went too far! Go forward again!"

Ryouga grumbled something about pushy women and took a few steps forward. She checked her watch. There were two minutes, two minutes left until closing. Ryouga couldn't wait.

"Excuse me, Miss? That's my order," a rather refined voice said.

"Eh? Oh, here ya go." Ryouga unceremoniously dumped a plateload of Okonomiyaki at a table and started to walk off. Her hand was grabbed.

"Miss, allow me to thank you for your service."

"What are y*MMPFH*"

Ukyo looked up from her grill, wondering if Ryouga was finally done delivering that order yet. "Hey, Ryouga, didja... a... oh boy."

And thus, Ryouga Hibiki once again met Midako Sanzenin, although this time under wildly different and (at least to Ryouga) unpleasant circumstances.

"GETOFFFAME!" *WHAM*

And so, on this day, Ukyo got a new skylight too.

"Oh well, it was closing time anyways. C'mon, lost girl, I need to get some stuff at the market."

"AT LEAST GIMMIE SOME HOT WATER FIRST! And STOP LAUGHING!"

To sleep, perchance to dream, unless a sibling is in the room...

"Onii-san."

Ryo was comfortably unconscious in a fairly small roll-up blanket on the floor. It wasn't grand living, but it was wasn't expensive either.

"Onii-san!"

There was this noise, however that was bugging him...

"ONII-SAN!"

And it just wouldn't go away...

"OOOOOONIIIIIIIII-SAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"We're outta breakfast stuff," pouted Kyoko, standing next to him.

Ryo looked at his youngest sister, a blank expresson on his face.

"And...?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT BREAKFAAAAAAAAAAST!"

Ryo winced from the decibel level. "Fine, fine..."

A moment later, a side door that shouldn't have been there opened up, and Ryo slipped away quietly from a nondescript apartment house.

"Isn't it poker night tonight?" asked Ryouga.

"Yup, that and a study group, s'gonna be at Ranchan's tonight." Ukyo hmmed and looked around the aisles, pushing a cart full of groceries.

"Who's in?"

"Hm... me, Ranchan, Akane, Yuka, Hiroshi, maybe some others."

"Sounds nice."

"Gonna come?"

Ryouga shrugged. "Not much else to do."

"Hey, grab some of those waffles, will ya?"

"Hm?"

Ukyo bapped him jokingly. "You. Waffles. There." She pointed to a direction. "I'll be there in a sec, just wait for me, okay?"

"Oh, ah, right!" Ryouga scratched his head, grinned, and walked off.

Ukyo bapped him again. "THAT way."

"Oh... ah, sorry."

Ryouga walked off, in the -correct- direction this time, and sure enough, saw a freezer bin full of waffles. He reached down, grabbed a box... and felt someone's hand as well.

Ryouga looked up, and scowled.

Ryo looked up, and scowled.

"Leggo," said Ryo through clenched teeth, "of my Eggo."

"No," replied Ryouga, through equally clenched teeth, "you let go... of MY Eggo."

"I said," repeated Ryo, "Leggo of _my_ Eggo."

*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*wham*

*BOOM*

Ukyo pushed her cart full of groceries over to Ryouga, who was for some reason on the floor, dazed, and badly beaten.

"Hey, what happened to you?" she asked.

He mumbled something incomprehensible and tossed up a crused box of Eggos.

"Aw, Ryouga! Why'd you get a crushed box? Jeez." She tossed the box aside and grabbed a new one. Amazingly, she didn't notice the Gosunkugi-shaped, or, to the more sharp-of-vision, the Ryo-shaped hole in the roof.

And so, Hikaru Gosunkugi, for the first time in his life, was having what could be described as a lunch picnic date. Of course, if one asked the girl, it WASN'T a date, but still, Hikaru would take what he could get. He was that kind of guy. There he was, with a cute girl, sitting under a nice, shady tree... and... and they'd been just sitting there, shy about everything... eating, glancing at each other occasionally.

He sighed. It was a totally alien experience.

"Something wrong, Gos-kun?"

"Well, it's just that I... er..."

There was a small dot on the horizon, getting bigger.

He wanted to say it, he WANTED to say it, but he just couldn't get the words out.

"Gos-kun?" asked Manami curiously.

{GAH! IT'S NOW OR NEVER!} "Manami, I L-"

*WHAM*

Manami shrieked. Gosunkugi stared.

Gosunkugi's 'evil twin' slowly and agonizingly pulled himself from out of the tree.

"Damn that Hibiki," he muttered. Ryo carelessly got up,  
accidentally stepping all over Gosunkugi's lunch. Gosunkugi's nerve was shattered, the moment was ruined. "Oh. Hello, Gosunkugi. Goodbye, Gosunkugi."

And for Gosunkugi, moments like those were few and rare.

Ryo brushed himself off and began to walk away.

"H-hold... it... right... t-there."

Manami's eyes were wide in surprise.

Ryo slowly turned around, impatience showing on his face.

Gosunkugi sounded... astonishingly... angry.

"Yesss?" hissed Ryo.

Gos gave Manami a serious look. "You'd b-better get away, Manami."

"Gos?" she squeaked.

Ryo narrowed his eyes. So the mouse wanted to fight, hm? He raised a gloved fist, and charged it with ki energy.

Gosunkugi concentrated, and swirls of blue began to surround him.

Manami backed away a safe distance and watched.

"T-this wa-was a truely happy day for me... then YOU RUINED IT!" stammered Gosunkugi. "DAMN YOU!" Purely by instinct, he pointed flung his arms forward. A fireball suddenly zoomed down from the heavens and slammed into Ryo, exloploding with a burst of red, throwing up clouds, dust, and debris, shaking the earth.

Gosunkugi stared at his arms in amazement. "I... I did it!"

From a distance, Manami stared, surprised. She knew Gosunkugi was a magician, but she never knew he was THAT powerful.

"I DID IT!" Gosunkugi raised his fist in the air, feeling the rush of triumph.

*cough*cough* "You pathetic copy of me *cough* I'll KILL YOU!"

Gos staggered back, in shock, as an angry, coughing, and totally unscathed Ryo emerged from the crater.

Ryo narrowed his eyes and approached Gosunkugi. He didn't have his umbrella with him, but he felt that in this case, he wouldn't need it.

"DIE!" Ryo charged at Gosunkugi, fists burning with energy.

OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodGETMEOUTTAHERE! thought Gosunkugi.

*POOF*

Ryo skidded to a halt.

He looked around.

"COWARD!" he roared. Ryo heard a small -poof- and a tiny 'eep',  
and turned around to see an utterly confused Gosunkugi.

"GOTCHA!" Ryo swung a fist...

*POOF*

... and Gosunkugi was gone. Again.

Meanwhile, a few feet away, Gosunkugi reappered in a puff of smoke. This whole teleportation thing was alarmingly new to him. He looked around, confused, and saw that Ryo was surprised too. Gosunkugi took advantage of the moment and concentrated again...

*KABOOOM*

Despite the clear sky, a lightning bolt struck, making yet another crater in the ground. Ryo once again climbed out of a deep hole in the ground, shaken but otherwise unscathed, and charged at Gosunkugi,  
who again *POOF*ed away... it settled into a pattern of *KABOOM* 'grr'  
-charge- *POOF* 'eh?' *KABOOM* etc etc etc...

"STAND YOUR GROUND, COWARD!"

*POOF*

"DAMN YOU!"

*KABOOM*

Manani, from a fairly safe distance, watched all this and sighed.

"Grrr..."

"Eep!"

*POOF*

"STAND AND FIGHT!"

*ZAPPP*

So much for a nice, quiet day. But at least Gosunkugi was showing that he got -alot- better at magic than before. An amazing improvement, really.

Suddenly, it felt... drafty.

"Why hello there!" said a 2-foot troll, waving around some panties.

HER panties.

"EEEEP! PERVERT!" Manami screamed, scrambling away.

Gosunkugi and Ryo paused in their 'battle' and looked at what was causing the commotion, and that's when Happosai decided to bolt once more.

"See ya, boys!" he yelled as several objects hit the ground.

Gosunkugi rushed towards Manami, asking "A-are you alright?"

In shock from her close encounter with the Perverted Kind, she nodded. "Y-yeah... I think, um, I need to go home, now."

Ryo stood his ground, but looked at the retreating form of Happosai. Indecision gripped him. The hunter within him wanted to pursue Happosai, just for the thrill of it. The voice of reason reminded him that he didn't have his umbrella, and would probbably be beaten senseless... that is, if what his sensei told him was true.

Then he wondered what that hissing noise was.

No... wait... he remembered that sound, it was the sound of bomb fuses.

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

Gosunkugi blinked and turned around, but all he saw was a large cloud of smoke. He didn't see the small dot that was flying away into the neighborhood.

"What w-was that?" he wondered out loud.

Ryo Muhoshin landed with a -thud- against a concrete sidewall along a sidewalk, a few blocks down the road. As he sat (crumpled,  
actually) there, the world spun around his head, and his body registered sore spots everywhere. It wasn't a good day so far. In fact, it was turing out to be one hell of a bad day.

He got up, swaying unsteadily as he did so, and slowly brushed himself off. The next person, he growled in his mind, that fouled this once fine day would be hurt.

Badly.

He took a few deep breaths, blinked once, and then turned around the corner, where he ran right into someone carrying a grocery bag. Its contents burst out and splattered out on him.

Internally, Ryo was screaming.

Someone would have to be hurt.

"Oh my," said Kasumi.

Later that evening...

It was another round of poker at the Tendo Dojo, as Ranma, Akane,  
Ukyo, Akari, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka and Sayuri looked at the cards dealt to them. In the background, a slight wailing was heard.

Yuka and Sayuri were fairly content, each having a pair.

Daisuke almost had a straight flush, but was missing one card.

Hiroshi almost had a straight, was short two cards.

Ukyo had a full house.

Ryogua had junk, but he was loathe to admit it, and so technically was 'bluffing' while actually being just stubborn.

Akane had a full house. The irony was lost on her.

Ranma had a royal straight flush. Of course, he didn't know it.

"Aaah, I'm out, I got junk." Ranma tossed his cards aside in disgust.

"And to think he actually beat the gambler king," muttered Ryouga.

"Once in a lifetime thing, I'm sure," added Ukyo.

"Probably," agreed Akane.

"Veeeeery funny, guys," growled Ranma.

"Hey, what's that awful sound?" asked Hiroshi.

"It's just Mr. Tendo," muttered Ranma. "Upset over something again."

Genma stepped into the room. "Son, you've got a job to do."

"Not now, pop, I'm-"

"Kasumi is missing."

The room was suddenly silent. Everyone was fairly surprised. Nothing ever happened to Kasumi. The sun rose, the sun set, there were four seasons, and nothing bad ever happened to Kasumi. Well,  
there was one incident involving demonic possession, but it was actually a rather wimpy demon, and Kasumi came out of it totally unhurt.

"Son, go out and look for her."

"We'll help too," said Akane. Everyone else in the room nodded in agreement.

Thirty minutes later...

Ryouga stood under a streetlamp, feeling totally, utterly,  
absolutely stupid. Sure, it was a nice, big, moment with everyone volunteering to help, but he REALLY didn't think about it when HE ran off into the night like an idiot hero.

And he, of course, got lost.

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!?"

Ryouga sighed and leapt to a rooftop. He hoped that maybe he'd see a familiar landmark, and start using that as a guide on where to go.

To his surprise, he saw Kasumi, walking down a dark street, at a somewhat leisurely pace, pausing to look behind her, then walking onward, carrying a few bags. Her shirt seemed to be stained with a few dark splotches... to Ryouga they might've been a deep color of red.

Then, like a shark emerging from the water, Ryo emerged from the shadows, walking a few feet behind Kasumi and closing in fast. How dare he attack a helpless woman! Ryouga sprang into action, jumped off of the rooftop, and landed right between the two. "Kasumi, get behind me!"

Kasumi tried to say something, but Ryouga, in his haste to pummel Ryo, ignored it. "Muhoshin, how DARE YOU!"

"How... dare... I... _what_?" Ryo took a step back, and fixed a menacing glare at Ryouga.

Ryouga took a few swings and kicks at Ryo, who did nothing but step back or dodge, with an angry glare aimed at Ryouga all the time.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT KASUMI!" yelled Ryouga, zooming in with a flying kick.

A few minutes later...

Akane and Ukyo met in the park, both looking worried and tired.

"No luck, huh?" asked Ukyo.

Akane shook her head slowly. There was a grim determination in her manner. "I _will_ find her, I will..."

Suddenly, in the distance, the sound of a streetlamp crashing shattered the quiet of the night.

"C'mon, it was this way!" yelled Akane. The two ran towards the sound, where they found Kasumi behind Ryouga, her hand on his shoulder, as another figure strolled into the night.

"Kasumi!" Akane ran to her sister and hugged her tightly. "We were so worried about you!"

Ukyo looked at Ryouga in disbelief. "-You- found her?"

Ryouga frowned. "What's so surprising about that?" he protested.

"Well, without a compass you wouldn't be able to find your own a-"

"Akane, I'm okay, really!" Kasumi hugged her little sister to reassure her. "I just took a little longer than I thought."

"Feh, foul-mouthed unappreciative cross-dresser," muttered Ryouga.

"What was that?" asked Ukyo, raising her spatula.

"Nothing."

"Why's your shirt all stained?" asked Akane as she looked over Kasumi with worry.

"What did he do to you?" asked Ryouga, anger in his voice.

"Who?" asked Akane and Ukyo.

"Ryo! He was just here! I bet he did someth-"

"Mr. Muhoshin?" said Kasumi, "he payed for the groceries."

"-ing really terrible. What?"

"Well, I told him he didn't have to, since I was the one that ran into him, but he insisted." The others stared at Kasumi as she continued, "and then I just had to try and get those stains out of his shirt. After all, it was my fault. So we went to his apartment nearby and-"

"You went to his apartment?! What did he do to you?!" yelled Akane.

"I met his family and he offered dinner, but I didn't think it was appropriate to, really. His family was really nice. Such funny neighbors too," she said with a giggle and a smile.

"He... offered you dinner?"

"And then I noticed he seemed to be hurt quite a bit, so I bandaged him a little."

"You HELPED him?" asked Ryouga in disbelief.

"Well, he was hurt," justified Kasumi. "And then he offered to walk me back."

The three looked at Kasumi as if expecting more. "And..?"

"And?" asked Kasumi. She blinked with much confusion.

"That's... all?" asked Ryouga.

Kasumi nodded. "Oh my, I really am late, aren't I. I hope father isn't too upset."

Ryo Muhoshin walked home, slowly, whistling. Miss Tendo was quite a surprise. The expression on his sisters faces was priceless. Even Megane smiled a little in her presence. She was so... so... motherly. Very much, in fact, like their own mother. Ryo frowned momentarily. He didn't like to think back to when their parents... left. But still, it was nice to be taken care of again, something they all hadn't experienced in a long time.

Leave it to that idiot Hibiki to spoil the end of a nice evening.

A few minutes later, he stood in front of his apartment, mulling over what to do next.

He wondered if he should bother going in the quiet way, but decided against it. He was too tired for that, and it was already evening. The neighbors, dreadful things that they were, should hopefully be asleep. He crept through unfamiliar territory (the front door) and made his way slowly to his room.

Once again, all was well in the Tendo Dojo. The elder Saotome and Tendo resumed their eternal shogi match while Kasumi cleaned up the post-dinner wreckage and everyone else was in the living room dealing out cards.

"Hey, guys, don't you think it's kinda suspicous what Ryo did?"  
asked Ukyo. "Think he's up to something?"

"Hope not," answered Ranma.

"At least Kasumi's alright," said Akane.

"I don't like it," said Ryouga, "he's up to something."

"Oh well... another exciting night in Nerima," sighed Ukyou. "C'mon, Ranchan, deal out the cards."

Meanwhile, Kasumi went over to talk with Soun and Gemna, but nobody noticed.

"Father, there's someone that wants to..."

TWO DAYS LATER...

This had caught Ranma entirely by surprise.

The Saotome/Tendo Dojo of Anything Goes Martial Arts had apparently gained a new student. One that was carrying around some ridiculously large hair-styling equipment. The ridiculous size of the weaponry was emphasized by her short stature and the fact that she was only twelve years old.

Twelve year old girls, in Ranma's opinion, shouldn't be carrying around five foot tall razors.

And even more importantly, he thought, he shouldn't be having to participate in 'babysitting' the child. After all, he may be the one to 'inherit' the dojo, but it wasn't his _yet_. The job should've fallen primarily to his dad and Mr. Tendo. When asked about it, he was simply told, as he expected, "it's part of your training, boy!" It made him feel a little better that Akane would be there, if only just to watch.

Of course, part of the worry was about her swinging around that ridiculous blade of hers around recklessly. That fear was immediately eased when he was told that she was not going to be allowed to use weapons in her training, which was how Anything Goes usually went anyways. As to why, they simply told her that her brother made the request, and stressed it strongly.

And so it came to this, a fine afternoon, with Mr. Saotome, Mr.  
Tendo, Ranma, and the bubbly little girl with the shiny big razor.

"Pop, she got any martial arts training?" he asked.

"Only with weapons. Without them, she is untrained..."

Suddenly, Kyoko rushed forward, grabbed Ranma by the hand, and flung him out the door and into the pond.

"...except in a little judo," finished Genma.

A sputtering, bewildered Ranma-chan rose from the pond, while Kyoko looked at her curiously. She tugged Soun's wrist and asked, "Um...  
who's that lady? An'wha'happened to Ranma-sensei?"

"That's... ah..." said Soun, unsure of how he should answer that particular question. Usually, the Saotomes wanted to curses kept a secret. "That's Ranko, Akane's cousin!"

"Ooooh. Hihi Ranko-san!"

"She... shall be your sensei as well," said Genma, patting her on the shoulder. That was a mistake.

"Hey old man," snarled Ranma-chan, "what's the big idea not telling me about ACK-"

*SPLASH*

And now there was an irate girl and a panda in the pond. Off to the side, Akane couldn't help but laugh at the two great martial artists that had just been flung across the backyard.

"It ain't funny!" protested Ranma-chan, slowly getting out of the pond.

"Oh, don't be such a crybaby, Ranma," Akane shot back.

Kyoko blinked. "Wai! Cute panda! Can I play with it?" She raced towards it happily and put it in a surprisingly effective headlock. It took a little convincing by Akane to get her to release 'Mr.  
Panda', and they had a little talk about when it is and isn't okay to throw people.

After 'Ranko' and 'Mr. Panda' headed upstairs to take a bath, and Mr. Saotome and son returned, they drilled her through the basic stances of kempo for several hours. She wasn't bad, and seemed to be a quick learner. Despite the occasional toss into the pond/wall/ceiling/floor, she was liked by them all. It was hard to stay mad at a 12 year old girl that was on a perpetual happy-mood.

After practice was done, Akane took it upon herself to take care of their guest, offering her drinks and snacks as they rested in the dojo.

"Thank you for the hospitality, oneechan," said Kyoko happily.

"So, how do you like it here?" asked Akane. "Having fun?"

"Mm-hm!"

"My dad isn't being too tough on you, is he?" asked Akane jokingly.

Kyoko giggled. "He's funny."

"Is he alot like your dad?" wondered Akane. A girl with her personality surely must have had fun-loving parents... although it failed to explain why her older brother was a jerk.

"Daddy? He's... gone," said the little girl, her mood slipping a bit lower than full bubbly happiness. She was still smiling, it was just tainted with the smallest trace of melancholy.

"Oh... I'm sorry." Akane looked at her, shocked. It was amazing that the girl was so... bubbly... considering a tragedy like that.

"Mommy too," she added, her smile fading a little more. "They left a long time ago, I don't remember much."

Akane found herself at a loss for words, not really knowing what to say to the girl. Instead, she gave her a hug. "So... who watched over you when your parents left?" she asked.

"Hm..." Kyoko seemed to be putting some serious thought into the question. "Um... Sensei Miyaji... he was kinda like a daddy..." said she, looking as if she was thinking things over, "oh, oniisan too."

"Ryo?" asked Akane.

"Mm-hm."

"Isn't he... mean sometimes?"

Kyoko blinked. "Um... he yells alot, but he always helps me."

Now that they were on the topic of _him_, Akane decided to ask what was worrying her.

"Was your brother... did he yell at Kasumi?"

"Oh no, he was nice," said Kyoko, "we all were."

"Why was he so nice?" wondered Akane. "I mean, he's usually..."

"You think he's mean, ne?" asked Kyoko bluntly.

Akane was thrown off by the bluntness of the statement. "Well, er,  
I mean..."

"That's okay, he knows. He's not nice to people."

"And you're not bothered by that?" wondered Akane.

She shrugged. "That's the way he is."

"So... why was he nice?"

"Hm? Oh, well Ryo an'Ryoko an'Megane say she's alot like mommy."

"Like... your mom?

Kyoko nodded. "Ryo and Ryoko and Megane really miss her."

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

Kyoko frowned. "It's okay."

"I know how you feel, with your mother gone. Mine's gone too."

"Oh." Kyoko ummed for a moment, looking a little worried, then tapped Akane on the shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Need a hug?" asked Kyoko.

Akane smiled, wondering how in the world this little girl turned out to be so... so... unlike her brother. "Sure, thanks."

They hugged briefly, enjoying a little bit of sisterly affection.

"Ryoko always felt better after a hug," said Kyoko. "Do you?"

Akane nodded. "Thanks."

"Any time."

"So, you'll make sure Ryo treats Kasumi nice, right?" asked Akane,  
patting Kyoko on the back.

"Well," she replied uncertainly, "Ryo hasn't been mean to her like he is to everyone else... but I'll make sure!"

"Thanks, Kyoko-chan."

Kyoko looked around, as if making sure nobody else was around, then whispered, "ya wanna know a secret?"

"A secret?"

Kyoko nodded, giggling.

"Um... sure."

"Don't tell anyone I told you, okay?" she whispered.

"Okay," whispered Akane, playing along with whatever Kyoko was doing.

"Ryo thinks you're reeeealy noisy."

Akane blinked.

"NOISY?! What does he mean, noisy?!"

"Um," said Kyoko, "well... um... RANMA YOU JERK! HOW DARE YOU RANMA! RANMA, EAT MY COOKING! RANMA-"

"I get the idea, I get the idea! Shhh!" Akane looked around nervously, trying to make sure nobody heard.

"Hey! Somebody callin'me?!" yelled Ranma from the house.

"No! Nothing here!" lied Akane.

A moment later, Kasumi walked in and asked, "Akane, have you seen my butcher's knife? I can't seem to find it."

"Um... I think I put it in the bottom cabinet," replied Akane.

"Are you cooking?" asked Kyoko curiously.

"Why yes, I am," said Kasumi.

"Can I help? Pleeeeease?" asked Kyoko, hopping around the eldest Tendo daughter. "Pleasepleasepleaseplease?"

Kasumi laughed and patted Kyoko on the head. "Well, if you're careful and do everything I say, okay?"

"Okaaay!"

Dinner was ready, but it seemed that Mr. Tendo and Saotome had stepped out to the store to buy something. Kasumi reasoned that it shouldn't take them too long (especially when Dinner was awaiting them) and decided to wait until they came back before starting. Also,  
it wouldn't do to start before the guests arrived either.

This left Kyoko in a state of utter boredom. She was quite fond of Kasumi, but not fond enough to sit there and watch her do dishes. She was, however, fond enough of her to give it a try. After one minute,  
she decided that it just wasn't going to work and set out to wander about the Tendo home.

"Aaaugh, stupid homework." Ranma quickly erased the mathematical calculations he had tried, adding in a little tenshin amaguriken speed to it unconsciously. A second later, he crumpled up the paper (now with a hole in it) and tossed it in the (quickly filling) wastebasket. The smell of dinner distracted him, and he decided to try working on the material on a full stomach. After all, his father seemed to make less stupid mistakes when he was fed.

A few minutes later, Ranma returned to his room bitterly unfulfilled. The old man had stepped out, delaying dinner, and that left him with nothing but a drink and a small bag of chips.

He was surprised to see Kyoko sitting at the desk when he re-entered his room and scribbling something on a paper. "Hey, kid,  
what're you doing up here?"

"Bored," she said, simply.

"Oh." He thought on this for a moment. Normally, if he was bored,  
he'd ask somebody to spar. Given Kyoko's irritating habit of throwing him (or anyone, actually) into the pond, however, that was not an option.

Kyoko turned the page in Ranma's text book.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Equations."

"Um... oh." Well, that was odd, wasn't it? What kind of little kid does... wait a minute. Equations? "Hey, what equations?"

"These," she said, pointing to the book.

Ranma's jaw dropped. His ego was feeling a bit embarrased.

Kyoko had just done his homework.

And the assignments for the next week.

They also seemed to be right.

"No... no way," muttered Ranma.

"Hm?"

"Nothin," he muttered, flipping to the back of the book. He looked at the answers. He looked at Kyoko's work.

It was right. Perfectly.

"Hey, how'd you..."

Kyoko shrugged. "S'easy."

"Um..." For a brief moment, pride battled neccessity. Necessity won (improving its record to 138 wins and 1027 losses lifetime record).

"Hey," he said, feeling somewhat embarrased, "can ya explain something t'me? Like this problem here..."

Dinner at the Tendo home was slightly crowded, considering the size of their table. In addition to the usual six people, three more were seated. It could have been worse, though, considering one was missing.

"Oh my," said Kasumi. "Where's Megane-kun?"

"Could it be he forgot?" wondered Ryoko.

Ryo sighed. "I don't think he'll coming. Miss Kasumi," he said,  
sounding much more civil than most people were used to hearing, "I'm afraid my brother won't be showing up. I apologize for his rude behaviour."

"That's okay, no need to apologize, Muhoshin-san."

"Thank you, you're entirely too kind." He took his place at the crowded table and smiled (an actual pleasant smile, something few people had ever seen on his face). "Ah, thank you for this magnificent feast."

"You're too kind," added Ryoko.

"I helped!" squeaked Kyoko.

"Thank you, everyone," said a smiling Kasumi. "Now let's start,  
shall we?"

"Ah, Miss Kasumi?" asked Ryo a bit apprehensively.

"Yes, Muhoshin-san?"

"Is a panda normally at the dinner table?"

"Don't mind Mr. Panda," said Kasumi, soothing Ryo's concern, "he's usually no trouble."

"Ah. I see."

Considering the circumstances, the dinner went alarmingly well.  
There was no property damage, no bruises, and no-one yelled the name of a rather silly-sounding special attack.

Kyoko, in fact, had prepared the following equasion beforehand:

O + Sr +Sa (TM\675-{w`~G-56} D)  
================================ = R + (Pd = 78 x N)  
Gk + Mt + Pa + As (23)

Or, in terms better suited for those who aren't genius 12-year-olds, Ryo gets the stuffing beaten out of him after causing a great deal of property damage and numerous injuries.

Either way was fine by her. She had been looking forward to seeing Oniisan hit people, and had wanted to join in the fun as well. On the other hand, dinner was fun, as she liked the sensei. And the other sensei. And the other Tendos.

She also discovered that she liked repeating this fact on the way home, mostly because of the interesting effect it had on Oniisan's face.

"Sensei Ranma is the best fighter in the world! No-one can beat him!"

Oooooh, that was a good one! Oniisan looked like he had just eaten a goldfish!

She had also discovered a new need.

"When are we gonna get a panda? Huh? Huh?"

"Gag the dear child, Ryoko. Before I do something we all regret."

"I wanna panda!"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who let her have coffee after the meal.  
Besides, maybe there's something in the idea."

"Sensei Ranma knows everythin' about fighting..."

"You want US...sorry, you want ME... to buy her a...have you been drinking?"

"Not a panda, stupid..."

"Wanna panda!"

"...I mean a pet of some sort."

"That has got to be the most idiotic..."

"I guess you're right. The neighbors would never stand for it."

Silence.

"It would irritate them, wouldn't it."

"They'd hate it."

"Panda, Oniisan?"

"Pipe down. Hmm... maybe something big...with huge teeth and a habit for eating people other that it's owners..."

"A pit bull?"

"I said other than it's owners."

"Oh."

"Panda?"

"Never any duct tape around when you need it."

-end part 7-

phone bit written by 'Mihoshi'  
end bit written by Mike Loader 


	9. Vengence of Noori

The sun rose on yet another sunny Nerima Friday. The birds chirped. Across the neighborhood, citizens began to scurry in the daily rat race that was Modern Life.

======================== The Pursuit Of Happiness Act 1 Part 8 Vengence of Noori =================

In front of Furinkan High School, a team of Kendoists stood in the yard, stretching and warming up in preperation for the day's events. Tatewaki Kuno stood in front of them all, giving ranting speeches of inspiration.

In Ucchans, Ukyou was up bright and early for the breakfast crowd. The morning hours were brief, short enough for her to close down and leave for school a half hour before it started. The profit from the breakfast crowd made the early hours worth it.

Meanwhile, at the Tendo residence, Akane stomped upstairs to awaken her beloved.

"WAKE UP, STUPID!" The echo of Akane's booming wake-up call rattled the house. Normally, this would manage to get Ranma jumping out of bed. Instead, he opened up one bleary eye and groaned.

"Aaaw... not s'loud, Akane," mumbled Ranma

"Ranma? Are you okay?" Akane knelt down next to him and put a hand to his forehead. "You don't look so great."

"Don'feel so great," he grumbled. His head was throbbing, he was sweating more than usual, and he had an incredible headache.

"Oh no..." Akane wiped Ranma's brow in an attempt to soothe him. It was working fabulously. "I think we'd better call Doctor Tofu. You're definitely sick."

"Sick? Me? I never... get sick." He sat up suddenly, pulled a nearby trashcan to himself, and threw up. Then he flopped back down on the bed, and Akane resumed massaging his head. She paused a moment to go to the door, boot Soun, Genma, and their handicam down the stairs, and closed it.

"Maybe I should stay here and take care of you?" she asked,  
cradling his head in her lap.

"Nah... I'll be *ow the room is spinning* alright... Kasumi'll be here, an' I don't want ya to miss anything 'cause of me." Ranma managed a weak smile, and was rewarded with a quick kiss on the forehead.

"I wonder how you got so sick. You never got sick before..."

"Coulda been... your cooking..."

She lightly bonked him on the forehead. "Shut up, you."

Ukyou strolled down the sidewalk, breathing in the morning air and feeling, overall, mellow. There was nothing to get excited about, and nothing to feel down about either.

Then she noticed something amiss in her surroundings.

"Ryouga?"

She looked around, a frown creeping across her face. Ukyou walked around, looking carefully for that one head in the crowd with the yellow bandanna, ran over to it, and gave it a good yank.

"RYOUGA!"

"OW! What'd you do THAT for?!"

"Wrong way, idiot."

"Oh."

After several more well-placed whaps to the head, Ukyou managed to shepard Ryouga to Furinkan once more. Arriving a few minutes early,  
they went to their classes and immediately took a window seat to view the day's festivities. Today was Kendo Day, and everyone always enjoyed watching the 'Blue Thunder' get knocked around.

As Akane Tendo approached the school, she noticed the courtyard clearing out. Then, she finally remembered exactly what was nagging on her mind. It was Kendo Day. She was alone. And Kuno had been showing a remarkable amount of endurance for a while now.

I wish Ranma was here... Wait a minute, I've always done this _on_my_own_ and I can STILL handle it!

Tossing back her bookbags and rolling up her sleeves, Akane Tendo got ready to rumble.

"Hey, wait a minute," said Ryouga, "something isn't right here."

"Hm?" wondered Ukyou.

"She's... alone out there, against all those guys! That isn't fair!"

"Might I remind you," said Nabiki calmly, "she used to do this every day, against a bigger crowd, and on her own."

"Well... alright." Ryouga settled in with everyone else looking out from the windows as Akane approached and the Kendo Club settled into attack formation.

Akane watched the Kendo Team surround her, their eyes watching her carefully. In the past, fighting hordes of boys was easy. A person would think fighting hordes is hard, but when those hordes are badly organized and are as likely to hit each other as much as hit you, the odds improve a lot. The new way of doing things, however, fixed that. There was a new sort of 'teamwork' ever since the various forces of Furinkan had split up into units, and it proved to be a fair test of skills.

But that was with Ranma at her side.

"Good Morning, Akane Tendo." The greeting snapped her out of her thougths and quickly reached in front of her to snatch something from the air... a rose. Tatewaki Kuno stood in front of his team, looking as smug as ever. He took a moment to close his eyes and breathe in the fine morning air.

Then he ranted.

The students held their breaths as the kendo team and Akane faced off. Everyone's eyes was watching for that one moment where the tension would snap and the fighting would begin.

Someone sneezed.

Crickets chirped.

Akane watched them all carefully, awaiting that first attack.

Happosai streaked by in a flash hauling a bag of panties.

"ATTACK!"

With that mighty roar, Kuno surged forward with a flurry of strikes. Akane dodged to one side, grabbing him by the arm, and heaved him towards a crowd of Kendoists. As Kuno went flying, another bunch of bokken wielding boys charged towards Akane, but were all mowed down by a series of powerful sweeping kicks.

Meanwhile, a few floors up and watching from a window, Ryouga watched nervously. He'd always seen her as a gentle, sweet person,  
even if she had incredibly violent sleeping habits (she'd once beaten up Happosai in her sleep) and was, at times, ridiculously strong.

"Looks like she's holding her own," cooly noted Ukyou. She looked over to Ryouga, who was beginning to crush the window frame with his hands as he nervously watched Akane's battle. He's still in love with her, the hopeless idiot. She sighed and watched as Akane mowed down the fourth wave of kendoists by using Kuno as a battle axe, and the fifth wave by using him as a throwing axe.

"I AM NOT YET DEFEATED!" yelled Kuno, who got up once more, as if he was never struck. For a brief moment his aura flared, and flickered from his usual blue to a darker shade of purple. It was barely noticable. Kuno launched himself into the air. This drew a gasp from the crowd, mainly because Akane had her back turned.

Of course, she sensed him coming. As she spun around to give him a bookbag slam to the forehead, something raced by and nailed Kuno in the head before she had a chance to strike, a red umbrella whizzed by and struck Kuno a thunderous blow. The Blue Thunder was flung away in the air and landed hard into the floor.

"WHO DARES TO INTERFERE WHILE THE BLUE THUNDER DOES BATTLE!?" said Kuno as he sprung up once more, showing alarming resiliancy.

Ryouga sprang out of the third floor window, his landing creating a small crater. "How DARE you call this an honorable duel!"

"Ryouga," said Akane, "you don't have to do this, really."

Ryouga's entrance into the fray set off a new round of buzzing and chatter amongst the Furinkan student body. "Hey, who's that?" "Isn't that Ryouga Hibiki?" "I heard he was dating Ukyou." "No, I thought he was dating that other girl?" "No fair, Ryouga getting all the women like that, now he's putting the moves on Ranma's fiancee!"

Fortunately, Ryouga didn't hear this.

"The rogue Hibiki! So, you would cast asperations on the fair Akane Tendo? Very well then, feel defeat at the hands of Tatewaki Kuno!" Before he could advance, something small and black struck him on the face, then exploded in a large puff of black soot. The kendoists, bewildered, looked around, but soon got hit by exploding bags as well.

"Akane look out!" Ryouga raced over to her and pushed her to the ground as several of the bags zoomed by, creating another large cloud of soot in the field. He opened his umbrella and stood next to her,  
covering them from a few more bags that were flung their way.

"What the hell is going on down there?!" wondered Ukyou as she saw the field of battle quickly become engulfled in dark clouds of soot. She grabbed her battle spatula and raced up the stairwell to the roof. She could see someone else was already up there, and flinging those bags. As she approached, the mystery figure jumped down into the heart of the fray below.

Ryouga peered into the darkness, cautiously. He lost track of everything and had an ominous feeling. Occasinally, a kendoist would fly by them and back into the clouds. Someone else had just made their way into the fight, and they might not be friendly.

"What's going on Ryouga?" asked Akane.

"I dunno. Let's get out of here." Without thinking, he took her in his arms and jumped to where, he hoped, the building would be. Instead he landed on the concrete perimiter fence of Furinkan high,  
but it was out of the soot cloud. From there, he could make out a shape racing within the crowd, beating up kendoist after kendoist.

"WHAT SORCERY IS THIS, RYOUGA HIBIKI?!" Kuno thrashed around violently, creating a whirlwind within the soot-covered field. That,  
and a light breeze soon cleared out the field, but not before someone raced out of the remains of that cloud and layed Kuno low with a few quick strikes of what appeared to be a radial, odd, steel... broom.

Everyone stared with much curiosity as a figure in strange, greyish western suit of some sort, covered with soot, looked up at Ryouga and pointed with the broom. In formal, somewhat rigid Japanese, the intruder spoke.

"Hibiki. You are mine."

"What?" Ryouga looked puzzled and angry. "What'd I do to you?"

"Be here. After school. I will wait."

The figure threw down a handful of soot bombs, obscuring himself in a cloud, and then disappeared as the smoke blew away.

"Great... just great," muttered Ryouga.

From the rooftop, Ukyou yelled down, "Ryouga, what are you doing?!" Unfortunately, he didn't hear that.

"Ah... Ryouga?" asked Akane tenatively.

"Hm?"

"You can let go now."

With extreme embarrassment, he realized that he'd been holding Akane protectively, in his arms, all this time.

"Aaah! Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to! It isn't what it looks like!" He quickly let go and wiped off the minor nosebleed.

From high above, someone was yelling "Ryouga you jerk!"

Furinkan High: lunch hour Ryouga was trying to have as peaceful a lunch as possible. It wasn't going to be very peaceful at all.

"What're you up to, Hibiki?" said Daisuke, elbowing him a little and giving him a knowing grin.

"Huh?"

"You know what we mean," said Hiroshi, appearing on Ryouga's other side. "You puttin' the moves on Akane this morning!"

"WHAT?!"

"The whole school is talkin' about how you're stealing Akane from Ranma, y'know," added Daisuke."

"B-b-but it isn't like that! I wasn't... I mean we weren't... I didn't mean to..." Internally, Ryouga was a mess. Why he wondered didn't this happen a few months ago?! Why not when... when I still had a chance?!

As he stood there, not listening to Hiroshi and Daisuke's words, he could hear everything else that was going on. It was a surreal moment. The breeze blowing, the birds chirping, everyone _else_ but Hiroshi and Daisuke gossiping... about him.

"Did you see the way Ryouga was holding Akane this morning?"

"Where was Ranma anyways?"

"I heard those two got in a fight again."

"So Ryouga's dating Akane now? Man, it's always a martial artist!"

"Who was that guy earlier today that knocked out Kuno?"

"I heard they were gonna fight to see who gets Akane!"

"Ranma's gonna kill them both."

"Hey... a big fight, a boy helping Akane, some mysterious new guy barging in and challenging... doesn't this all sound familiar?"

"Yeah, used to happen to Ranma all the time."

At that moment, Ryouga's mind screeched to a halt. Used to happen all the time... used to happen all the time... to Ranma... TO RANMA! He looked around, paranoia tingling in his nerves. He glanced at Ukyou, who immediately 'hmph'ed and turned away. He looked at Akane, who was busy angrily shooting down rumors. He looked around at all the other boys and girls of Furinkan High...

"... martial artists get all the girls..."

"... that womanizing cassanova..."

"... reminds me of Ranma..."

How did things get this ugly? Why was this happening to him?

Suddenly, he knew. He didn't know how he knew, he just knew who to blame for this mess. After all, it was always his fault, somehow.

"RANMAAA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Meanwhile, on the girl's side of things, everyone was getting acquainted with a rather unusual new addition to Furinkan.

"You're... really enrolled here?" asked Yuka.

"In the same grade as us?" inquired Sayuri.

"Mm-hm!" Kyoko nodded happily, being her usual bubbly self. The girls nearby gasped, afraid she'd accidentally poke someone's eyes out with the oversized shears strapped to her back.

"So, how're you liking it here so far?" asked Akari.

"I like it here! I get to be with Akane-oniichan and Akari-oniichan! Yay!"

"I still find it hard to believe this is Ryo's sister," muttered Ukyou.

"Genetic fluke, I guess," said Yuka.

"You didn't have to do this," apologized Ryouga.

"No, it's alright. If you don't face this guy now, he'll just bug you for a long while. You'd better get this outta the way now,"  
explained Ukyou as she yanked his bandanna once more and led him in the right direction.

Like vultures around a carcass, the students of Nerima waited around the schoolyard for some free entertainment. Not surprisingly, Nabiki was there as well, maintaining her gambling business. Ukyou wasn't surprised at all.

Out in the middle of the field stood Ryouga's adversary, clad in a loose fitting Victorian Era-esque suit of some sort, covered with soot from head to toe, holding an equally sooty metal wire broom in hand. The stranger noticed Ryouga's approach and acknowledged him with a nod.

Ryouga stood in the clearing in the field, ignoring the crowd of students that were watching him, focusing on his opponent. Was there any way to end this peacefully? At the moment he was barely willing to give that option a try.

"Who are you?"

"I am Noori, T-"

"What do you want?" he interrupted impatiently. Ryouga was still blaming Ranma for this mess. He wanted to clear this matter up as soon as possible, then cave Ranma's head in.

"You dishonored me," said the sweeper in stiff Japanese, "so we will fight. I will destroy you."

"But when did I-"

"Enough talk! FIGHT!" Noori swung the steel brush broom at Ryouga's face, barely missing. Three small scratches began to bleed on Ryouga's face.

"Alright... THAT'S IT!" Ryouga charged recklessly into the fray,  
ignoring a broom handle to the gut, and gave a vicious headbutt. Noori recovered and swiped at Ryouga with the glistening metal end of the brush, turning Ryouga's sleeve into ribbons and raking his arm badly. Soon, soot bombs and bandannas were flying about recklessly.

While the two continued to fight, Ukyou watched from a distance and away from the main 'audience'. Something about the fight was eerily familiar to her. A sense of deja-vu. She stared at this 'Noori' with some nagging feeling.

"Worried?" inquired Sayuri.

"Ah... of COURSE I'm worried! He's my friend!"

Ryouga snapped off his belt and whipped it out until it suddenly straightened itself into a blade...

Noori hefted a handfull of soot bombs, intending to blind Ryouga with a bomb to the face...

The crowd gasped as there was a mighty explosion of black soot and a high pitched scream. Ryouga stumbled out of the cloud, coughing violently and squinting his eyes. A very enraged Noori charged out of the cloud, spinning the steel brush broom in one hand, looking to bring it down on Ryouga's face.

Ryouga, hearing Noori's footsteps, whipped out his umbrella and raised it, blocking an overhead strike from the broom. At this particular moment, with Noori's arms up high (holding the broom) and Ryouga looking in a generally downward direction, coughing and blinking, his vision finally cleared up.

He clearly saw that he'd managed to tag him with his belt/sword twice, once across the arm, and once across the chest...

Why's he wearing a... A BRA?

"YOU'RE A GIRL!"

Ukyou felt the sensation of deja-vu hit hard as she saw what was occurring on the field. The crowd started buzzing furiously as well after hearing his shout. Rumors started flying immediately and she couldn't help but hear what the crowd was saying.

"Ryouga's fighting a girl? I wonder what she did to him..."

"Hey, maybe she's his fiancee or something?"

"You hear that? She's his fiancee!"

"Y'know, this all seems kinda familiar."

"Didn't this sorta thing happen to Ranma?"

That last sentance echoed in Ukyou's mind, and slowly her left eye began to twitch. She reached for her battle spatula.

Meanwhile, Noori was yelling at Ryouga in a strangely accented English. He didn't understand a word, but whatever she was saying seemed rather harsh. She was swinging madly at him, but he was doing nothing now but dodging and backing away.

"Why do you run away?!" she yelled.

"I don't hit girls!" replied Ryouga.

Those words echoed in Ukyou's mind as well. She'd heard them before. And her mood wasn't being improved by the memory.

"Fine! You stop running, I kill you!" Noori punctuated that remark with a swing of the broom that narrowly missed.

The large spatula, on the other hand, didn't miss.

Noori stopped in her tracks, surprised by the unexpected intervention. There seemed to be an irate girl with a large spatula yelling at her enemy, and she wasn't quite sure what to do at all. This sort of interference was unheard of.

"What are you doing?!" yelled Ryouga.

"What am *I* doing? What did YOU do to THAT girl, you JERK!"  
screamed Ukyou. "Humiliate her as a little girl? Break her heart? RUN OFF RIGHT AFTER YOU WERE ENGAGED TO HER?! WELL?! ANSWER ME!" While throttling Ryouga and yelling, Ukyou felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around impatiently, asking, "WHAT?!"

Noori asked cautiously (and stiffly), "Ah... excuse me, but what are you doing?"

"Yeah, what are you doing?" asked Ryouga, who was promptly whapped by both Noori and Ukyou.

"You interrupt my fight," said Noori, running out of patience. "I will hurt Ryouga very much then go, okay?" With that said, she raised her broom, preparing to brush Ryouga's face off of his head.

"Wait a minute, sister, he's my friend! If anybody around here is gonna pound him into the ground, it's ME!"

"This is not your concern!" yelled Noori. "I am HERE to fight HIM!" said Noori, and pointed at...

... an empty spot where Ryouga should have been.

Several hours later...

Ryouga was baffled. He was in the yard at Furinkan High a moment ago, and after several blows to the head and some stumbling, he was in Okinawa... well, it seemed like Okinawa. Or was it Osaka? He wasn't quite sure and at moments of stress every place seemed like every other place.

Oh wait, wasn't that the Tendo Dojo? He wasn't sure.

He thought about going there just to ask directions.

Then he remembered the day's events.

And he also remembered a certain pig-tailed boy he wanted to mangle.

"RANMA! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

He charged in, breaking through the gates, tearing through the front door, and stared at complete and total strangers.

"Eep! Sorry! Wrong address! Pardon me! Sorry! Sorry!"

"He WHAT?!" said the bedridden Ranma, suddenly feeling good enough to stand up.

"You heard us, man," said Hiroshi, "he was all over Akane today! Isn't that right?"

"We saw it all," said Daisuke, nodding solemnly.

"I'M *KAFF* GONNA KILL HIM!"

-end part 8-  



	10. Where It's At!

[Ucchan's, 6:30am]

o/" Where it's at... o/"

The last strings of a melody echoed softly in her ears. Ukyou yawned and woke up, stretching, and hummed the tune. It was catchy...  
and if she modified it just right...

"Mmm, mus'be crazy," she muttered. Ucchans never did a commercial before, and she didn't think they were going to do one now...

======================== The Pursuit of Happiness Act 1 Part 9 Where It's At =============

[Furinkan High, after school...]

"Well, you recovered fast," observed Akane, walking up on the fence behind Ranma and holding his hand. The two walked home at a leisurely pace, with Akane occasionally wobbling, but getting her balance back quickly.

"Yeah, didn't wanna miss too much class, y'know?" Ranma's grip on Akane's hand tightened. He'd heard about what Ryouga was up to, and there'd be hell to pay. Ryouga was, he felt, lucky to have been absent from school again. Otherwise, he'd have been beaten into a pulp.

Ryouga wandered, it felt like he'd been wandering endlessly for the past couple of days. He managed to stay in urban surroundings, so he hoped that meant that he was still in Nerima. Tired, impatient, and wanting to find how where the hell he was, he grabbed a passing student by the shirt.

"Where is Furinkan High?!" he growled.

Daisuke blinked. This was apparently Ryouga. Again. There was a definite sense of deja vu as Daisuke patiently pointed out the sign to their left.

Ryouga looked to where the boy was pointing. It was a sign. A rather large sign. One that read "Furinkan High School."

That's one problem down.

"Hey, you look familiar," said Ryouga.

"It's me, Daisuke. Your classmate?"

"Oh! Sorry about that."

"Well, it's too late for class, the school day is over," said Daisuke. "Where've ya been?"

"Lost."

"Figures."

Suddenly, Ryouga's hunting instincts told him something he'd want to hit was nearby. He looked around, scanning with narrowed eyes,  
until he spotted two figures walking slowly upon the fence.

One of which he had a problem with.

Ryouga grabbed his umbrella charged, his quarry targeted and locked.

"RANMA!"

The sound of Okonomiyaki frying.

That was the sound that soothed Ukyou's soul. As of late, she noticed that she was becoming far too easily stressed. What was the cause of it all? She'd never been as aggrivated before. No time to dwell on that too much, the okonomiyaki needed grilling.

Scoop.

Turn.

*sizzle*

Inhale the aroma. The grill, the oil, the spatula, the okonomiyaki.

All are one in the universe.

Add some sauce.

Scoop.

Sliiiiide to the plate.

All done.

She reached over to begin creating another okonomiyaki when something disturbed the one-ness of her okonomiyaki universe. She didn't recall having a vending machine in her store...

Tsubasa.

Get spatula.

"Um, Ukyou-sama! Hi!"

Adjust.

Scoop.

"No! Wait! Waitwaitwait! I just came here to talk!"

Heave.

No, wait... something was wrong. Ukyou looked down to where her spatula was wedged under Tsubasa's costume. It was bent. She cursed silently as she had forgotten that Tsubasa'd been putting durable (and sometimes heavy) mecha underneath his disguises lately. Quickly loosing her zen-like state, she growled and pulled back an arm,  
getting ready to slug the face that had just popped out of the vending machine.

"Waitwaitwait! Please!"

"This better be good, Tsubasa," growled Ukyou. "You bent my spatula."

"It is! It is! Please! Just listen!"

Tanya Noori was upset.

She had -finally- tracked down Hibiki, and was ready to pay him back for the humiliation he had caused her. But somehow, somewhere along the line, things went wrong.

First, her undergarments were revealed to the public via an attack from HIM. Then, some strange girl with a titanic spatula interrupted the fight and started bickering with him. And finally, as the strange girl and Tanya were arguing, HE escaped.

Tanya was not amused.

She had, in her haste to find him, rushed out into the city to track him down. That was a mistake. Being a newcomer to the city herself, she was fairly lost in a matter of hours as well. Cursing her luck, she found a nice, clean rooftop to rest in and began her search once more... which brought her to now.

She had been standing where she had managed to spot her former significant other several days ago, hoping to see a familiar face once more. The waiting was killing her.

Suddenly, a face stood out amongst the crowd. Somewhat pale, a little on the lean side, with unmistakable eyes.

*'allo, Ryo* said Tanya in her native English, watching him from her rooftop perch, *'ow very nice t'see you 'gain. You'll lead me t'Ryouga, won't ye? Oi knew ye would.*

Tanya strolled the rooftops, watching Ryo carefully. She knew he hated Ryouga possibly as much as she did, so he had to lead her to him eventually. Besides, she figured, all this strolling around would help her learn where everything was.

Ryo blinked. He had the distinct feeling that someone was shadowing him. He looked up around the rooftops, suspiciously, but saw nothing.

"Ryo-sama, what's wrong?" asked Akari, tugging at his arm.

"Hm? Nothing, nothing. Let's go, yes?" Ryo offered his arm and Akari took it as they walked through the commercial district of town,  
taking in the sights and sounds of a fine spring day. She was thrilled that Ryo had turned out to be such a gentleman, unlike the mean person they made him out to be. She felt lucky that he was willing to date her. And he was strong, too! He'd managed to knock out her sumo pig! No doubt, grandfather would be happy to have such a polite, strong heir to the sumo pig farm which had been theirs for generations.

Ryo grinned. Akari was remarkably gullable. Unbelievably,  
uniquely, gullable. And so very trusting, as well. He hoped that neither of his sisters were ever this foolish.

"RANMA!"

The boy in question turned around, just in time to dodge an umbrella swipe to the skull. He saw the attacker, and his battle aura began to glow. "Well... if it ain't Ryouga... DIE!" He lept from the fence, towards Ryouga and hammered him with a series of blows. Ryouga took the hits, but wasn't fazed by them much, and plowed into Ranma,  
knocking them both through the fence and into the waterway beyond it.

A pig tailed girl and a fang-toothed girl emerged from the water,  
looking furious. They clashed once more, with water spraying everywhere and the occasional breaking point technique rattling the earth.

"Ranma! Ryouga! Stop it!" yelled Akane. "Why are you two fighting?!"

"Stay outta this, Akane!" yelled Ranma-chan.

"This is a man to man fight!" yelled Ryouga-chan.

Nobody appreciated the irony.

With a battle cry, both combatants charged each other once more and cut a path of destruction through the neighborhood. Akane, frustrated that she hadn't been able to slow down the situation any, sighed and followed.

"Well... wow," said Ukyou, unsure of what else to say.

"I... I want you to know," said Tsubasa, his eyes almost ready to go into tears, "I'll be back some day."

"Hey, if you end up tangled with obligations and all that, I understand perfectly," replied Ukyou. No, really, Tsubasa, you don't have to come back at all.

"I... I'll never forget you," said Tsubasa, letting a few tears fall.

"Okay..." As much as Tsubasa irritated her, Ukyou just didn't like seeing anyone in tears like that.

"Hey, tell ya what," she said, pulling out two small spatulas and bringing out the ingredients, "I'll make ya an okonomiyaki on the house, for old time's sakes, okay?"

Tsubasa smiled through his tears. Ukyou had a feeling it was a mistake already, but grilled the transvestite an okonomiyaki anyways...

"Thanks for being with me today," said Akari, in a timid, shy voice.

Ryo grinned. "It was my pleasure."

They watched a few trains go by, Akari looking happy and Ryo looking calm. Finally, her train arrived, and Ryo walked her to the door.

"See you later," he said with a smile.

They hugged briefly, then she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Reluctantly, she let go and entered the train, and soon was on her way back to her grandfather's farm.

Ryo stood there.

The breeze blew by, trains passed, people surged back and forth to and from the trains.

Ryo stood there.

Two figures, one carrying a bench, the other a shovel, both in suits, walked quietly behind him.

"Heya, Ryo!"

Ryo narrowed his eyes and spun around, snarling. His umbrella was raised and spinning madly in his hand. "WHAAAAAT?!"

The pair stumbled back, panic-stricken.

"Oh... you two."

"So, that's the girl you're going to hold ransom?" asked one of them.

"A cute one, too," observed the other.

Ryo's face was locked in a scowl, but he did nothing else.

"Hey, Ryo, are you sure we oughta be doing this?" asked one of them.

Ryo's eyes narrowed. He grabbed them both by their lapels and hissed, "Shut up! Both of you SHUT UP!" Ryo pushed them back some distance away, then strode into the street, saying as he left, "we proceed as usual, do not question me!"

Above, in the cover of the shadows of the rooftop, Tanya followed...

"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY ONCE AND FOR ALL RANMA!" screamed Ryouga-chan as she lunged around wildly with her umbrella, leaving shattered telephone poles and deep dents in concrete.

Ranma dodged and threw a few kicks of her own in retaliation,  
yelling, "ME?! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S GONNA PAY!"

"FOR ALL ALL THE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH!" boomed Ryouga-chan,  
flinging a barrage of bandannas.

"WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE TIMES YA SLEPT WITH AKANE, HUH?" Ranma-chan shot back.

Some distance away, Akane turned red, a little with embarrassment,  
and alot with anger. I did NOT sleep with Ryouga! HOW DARE HE YELL THAT! "Ranma, GET BACK HERE!"

"FOR RUNNING AWAY FROM OUR DUEL!" Ryouga-chan plowed into Ranma-chan with a shoulder rush, sending them both into a wall.

"FOR ALL THE TIMES YA MADE ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT'A AKANE!" Ranma-chan pummeled Ryouga-chan's side with a chestnut-fist attack.

"ALL THOSE LUNCHES YOU STOLE!" Ryouga-chan ignored the punches, and flung Ranma-chan away.

"YOU STILL CRYIN' OVER THAT, YA BIG BABY?! I DIDN'T STEAL FROM YA *THAT* MUCH!" said Ranma-chan as she landed, rolled away, and sprang forward with both feet extended.

"EIGHTY-SEVEN TIMES!" yelled Ryouga-chan, ducking.

Ranma-chan blinked. "You actually kept count?"

"DIE RANMA!" Ryouga-chan caught Ranma-chan by surprise, grabbing her by the shirt and flung her through the air.

Ryo inhaled the cool evening air, idly observing the various constellations that were revealing themselves as darkness took hold of the land. He was standing atop a five floor building, enjoying the scenic view of the night.

He turned, his expression becoming calm yet deadly, and said, "show yourself."

He was greeted with silence. Ryo sighed, idly twirling his umbrella, then suddenly swung it hard towards a cluster of shadows by the rooftop corner, yelling "Ryugeki-ken!" A boomerang-shaped energy blazed from it and slammed into the shadows, smashing into brick and metal. As the ki flashed briefly, Ryo saw a shadowy shape jump high and safely away, landing several feet away from him and in plain view.

"Who..." muttered Ryo, as he examined his visitor. The clothes... western, British, victorian era, he'd guess, and all covered with a fine layer of soot. As he stared at this person, realization dawned on him. "You! Gaijin!" It was the gaijin girl that attended the reunion lunch! Twirling his umbrella at a blurring speed, Ryo approached. "Explain and identify yourself," he hissed, halting his umbrella with it's blade pointed in her direction.

The girl looked defiantly at him, not intimidated at all, and revealed her own weapon, a broom of sorts, seemingly normal, until he noticed the brushes shone of metal in the dim light. She held it in a ready position, watching him warily. "Where is Ryouga?" she asked, in a somewhat stiff, accented voice.

"You didn't answer my... Ryouga?" Ryo raised an eyebrow, much like a Vulcan scientist would when discovering a fascinating new killer virus. "What about Ryouga?"

The girl drew a line across her throat with her finger.

Ryo smirked. "You? You think you can defeat, no, kill Ryouga?" He was somewhat annoyed at this new interloper. Ryouga was HIS to observe, HIS to make suffer, HIS to hurt, and HIS to kill, once all the amusement of making his life hell was gone. Who was this gaijin girl to think otherwise?

"I am Tanya Noori. Ryouga..." she struggled for a moment, looking for the appropriate word, "... dishonored me. He will be punished."

Ryo sneered, "it wouldn't take much to shame _you_, I would think."

"SHUT UP!" She swiped at him with her broom. He blocked with his umbrella calmly.

Ryo was feeling the surge in him now. One he hadn't felt in a while. The surge that came with crushing someone's very soul with harsh words and equally harsh actions.

"Wait," he said, "Ryouga... dishonored you? Perhaps you are his ex-fiancee?"

Noori tensed for a moment, pulling her broom as if to strike again,  
then calmed down. With a withering glare, she said, "I see you did not beat him."

His features went decidedly hostile.

"Perhaps I do better than you, yes?" she mocked. "I hear he always beat you, so who are you to tell me?"

Ryo swiped forward with his umbrella, growling in anger. It was easily blocked. Noori smirked.

"Ryouga is MINE," hissed Ryo. "You stay OUT of my way, and you leave Ryouga to ME." He pulled his umbrella back and sprang down to the streets below, clearly angered. Tanya glared from the rooftops. {'ey's a bloody arse, the wanker...} She thought for a moment,  
thinking of all she'd heard and seen this night. Ryo might prove to be a costly distraction, especially when he might steal her primary target from under her nose. No, that would not happen. Arrogant bastard be damned, she was here to grind Ryouga into the ground. And God help whoever got in the way.

"So, when..." wondered Ukyou.

"It starts next week," said Tsubasa, happily finishing off his okonomiyaki. He was enjoying the moment dearly, knowing that they didn't make okonomiyaki this good in corporate caffeterias. As he ate, a few sensors in his mech/costume beeped. Tsubasa stopped eating and listened, carefully.

"Tsubasa? What is it?" wondered Ukyou.

"Something's..."

Before he could finish, something crashed through the storefront window, slammed into Tsubasa (and his costume), and sent them both barreling through tables and eventually, into the wall. Bits of table were everywhere, and the dent in the wall was severe.

Ukyou stared. Her restaurant had experienced a little damage before, maybe a broken door chair or two, but this...

"Ow! Gedoffame!" Ranma-chan shoved the dazed Tsubasa aside. The vending machine costume toppled over and slammed into the grill,  
bending a section of it badly.

Ukyou's eyebrow began to twitch.

"RANMA! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME!" Ryouga-chan plowed in soon afterwards, shattering even more of the storefront window. She landed on a table (that was shattered immediately) and took another swing at Ranma-chan with her umbrella. Ranma-chan caught Ryouga-chan's umbrella hand and forced the umbrella to miss, where it smashed into another part of Ukyou's grill, crumpling it to the ground.

In the distance, Akane could be heard yelling "Stop fighting, you two!"

Ranma-chan kept a grip on the umbrella, trying to pull it away from Ryouga-chan. It swung wildly, left and right, smashing tables,  
chairs, and more sections of Ukyou's long grill.

"WHY YOU!" Tsubasa uprighted himself and set a target lock on the two fighting figures. "DIE!" Suddenly, a barrage of soda cans flew out of Tsubasa's vending machine costume, battering them both and exploding on contact, spraying the entire area with cola.

Finally, Akane stomped in, muttering something about stupid boys.

The trio of boys-looking-like-girls froze suddenly, sensing a supreme amount of female anger nearby. They turned around slowly. Ranma spoke, very... cautiously.

"Um... Ucchan... why are ya lookin' at us like that?

"So, how's things nowadays?" asked Ukyou, sipping on some tea.

"Things are well," replied Akane, drinking hers, "very well."

"Refill?"

"Yes, please."

Ukyou poured the tea calmly, then set it on the table. The breeze lifted her hair up briefly, and she sighed while enjoying the sensation.

"Ukyou, what was Tsubasa doing here? We haven't seen him since he was in the hospital," wondered Akane.

"Him? Oh, he's got himself an internship with Mishima Heavy Industries. Mech design and all that. Just might end up part of the permanent staff, he tells me."

"Oh... wow." Akane calmly drank some more tea. "You know... I never thought of him as the type of guy... that... well..." started Akane, looking for the appropriate phrase.

"Hm?"

"The type that was into mecha," answered Akane.

Ukyou nodded in agreement. "True, very true."

The sound of people walking by filtered in. Another cool night breeze drifted through their table.

"How's your sisters?" Ukyou wondered. "Nabiki?"

Akane smiled. "Well, there's this guy that's trying to get a date with her... his name's Isamu."

"You think anything will work out?" wondered Ukyou.

"Sure, right, maybe in another reality," mused Akane. Both girls giggled for a brief moment. "I don't think she ever really wants to be tied down with somebody."

"Hey, how about Kasumi?" wondered Ukyou.

"What about her?"

"Any progress between her and Doctor Tofu?"

Akane sighed. "No, not really. He's too much of a nervous wreck when she's around, and she doesn't try anything either."

Ukyou shook her head sadly. "That's a shame. They'd make a great couple, I think."

Akane nodded in agreement. "I feel the same." A grin slowly crept across her face. "Speaking of couples that might go well together..." She looked at Ukyou briefly, then tilted her head towards Ryouga.

"What, Ryouga?" spat Ukyou.

Akane poked her teasingly. "Why not?"

"Out of the question," replied Ukyou with a smirk. "Besides, it seems he's got a new admirer."

"Really?" Akane leaned forward, smiling. "Who is she?"

"I dunno, some crazy girl with a broom. Noori was her name. Must be a fiancee or something."

From across the room, Ryouga shouted, "I do *NOT* know that girl!"

"GET BACK T'WORK!" bellowed Ukyou, flinging a throwing spatula in his general direction.

"Hey! Careful with those things!" he yelled back. As Ryouga kneeled back on the ground and picked up some nails and lumber, Ranma muttered, "told ya to just keep quiet and get this done."

"Shut up, Ranma," growled Ryouga.

"Shh! She's gonna hear!" hissed Tsubasa.

*WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP*

"I said GET BACK T'WORK! NOBODY'S LEAVING UNTIL EVERYTHING'S FIXED!" Ukyou swung her spatula menacingly one more time, scowling,  
and made sure all three boys went back to work with repairs.

"Sorry about this, Ukyou. I just don't know what got into those two today," apologized Akane. "For some reason, Ranma thought Ryouga was hitting on me."

From the front where the boys worked, there was a brief scuffle and some hissed whispering between Ryouga and Ranma, but a spatula shuriken from Ukyou quickly silenced them. "Quit fooling around!" she yelled. "GET BACK TO WORK I SAID!" She sighed once more as she sat next to Akane again. "Boys, can't live with'em, can't live without'em."

"Yeah, tell me about it," said Akane, smiling.

Ukyou paused, her mouth half-open in mid-thought. "Ah... say,  
Akane, I got this idea, tell me what ya think..."

"I'll be glad when this is over," muttered Ranma.

"Shut up, or she'll think of something worse!" hissed Ryouga.

Just then, Akane started giggling. Ukyou's grin became dangerously mirthful, much like a shark smiles before dinner.

"I think," said Tsubasa, "we're in trouble."

TWO DAYS LATER...

The Tendos and Saotomes sat in front of the television, with the exception of Ranma, who was sulking in the back.

"Don't believe she made us do this..." he muttered.

"Oh, come on Ranma, it isn't THAT bad," teased Akane, while Nabiki got the VCR set to record, and Soun and Genma smiled proudly at their son's pending 15 minutes of fame.

"Here it comes!"

"Aw man, this sucks!"

(camera fade in to TSUBASA in girl's uniform, standing at a typical Nerima streetcorner. Cue somewhat hip-hop-ish beat)

TSUBASA

There's a destination a little up the road, Where the Saotomes and the Tendos go, A place that's run by Miss Ukyou, The music wails and the batter flows! Passin' out sake and okonamiyaki, Two hot griddles and a spatula, Leave a tip and just lick your lips, a-just lick your lips!

(camera switches to Ranma and Ryouga standing in front of Ucchan's with sunglasses and swaying to the beat.)

RANMA &amp; RYOUGA

WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! Two hot griddles and a spatula!

(camera switches to Ryouga, walking through the inside of Ucchan's)

RANMA

It's a hot little spot at the side of the road, Where's the music's hot and the drinks are cold, Members only, we emphasize it, Don't break the rules or Ukyou fries ya!

(camera switches to Ryouga, also walking through the restaurant)

RYOUGA

Stay out late, Feel the groove, Ukyou, With her martial-arts moves! Get all artistic with the sauce, Just remember one thing - UKYOU'S THE BOSS!

(camera switch to RANMA, TSUBASA, and RYOUGA standing in front of Ucchan's restaurant)

RANMA, TSUBASA, and RYOUGA

WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula...

(scene and music fade)

"Oh god, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow," muttered Ranma,  
dying from embarrassment. "This ain't fair."

-end pt 9-

\- part 9 epilogue -

"Hey, Ranma, nice commercial, man!"

"SHADDUP, HIROSHI!"

\- LEGAL STUFF -  
"Two Okonomiyaki and a spatula"done by Ryan Mathews (thanks =) modified from "Where it's at" by Beck

-end part 9-


	11. Hit and Miss

TPOH - 10

"Ah! I LOVE the smell of coconuts in the morning!"

The principal of Furinkan high was in a good mood this morning. He rested in the yard of his school, reclining on a beach chair under a sun umbrella. He adjusted his sunglasses, watching several workers pull hard on ropes, and drank from a halved coconut.

He'd grown to miss Hawaii... and the palm trees in his office just weren't cutting it any more as relief for it. Neither was the sand,  
or the beach murals on the walls, or the sounds-of-the-ocean CDs that sometimes blared on the school PA system. He needed something... grand.

And he found it.

His grin widened even more.

As he picked up his ukulele and strummed whimsically, a gigantic,  
behemoth, bronze pineapple was slowly ascending the school, lifted to its lofty perch by numerous ropes.

That, he felt, would do.

======================== The Pursuit Of Happiness Act 1 Part 10 Hit and Miss ============

Ryouga wasn't in a good mood.

For starters, Ukyou had insisted on on him being a her today, and in full waitress outfit too. So there SHE was, and in the 'cute waitress outfit' to add insult to injury. After days like this, she had the urge to find Ranma and have a nice MANLY fight with much bickering and boasting. It helped affirm her... ah... his...  
Ryouga's gender.

However, on this day, one other thing was bothering her. Earlier,  
a smug looking man, about his age, strode through the doors,  
accompanied by several bodyguards. He was dressed all in white, with a confident air about him, and a shining sword at his side.

"Pardon me, madam," he said to Ryouga in a most polite manner (not noticing her scowl at the word 'madam'), "could you tell me where a Miss Ukyou Kuonji is?" He smiled. His teeth shone. She hated him immediately.

"And who're you?" she asked angrily.

*WHAP*

Ukyou removed the spatula from Ryouga's head and shoved her aside. "Aheh, sorry about her behaviour. I hope finding this place wasn't too hard, Mendo-san?"

"No, no, it wasn't any trouble at all," said Mendo. He looked questioningly at the still-dazed Ryouga-chan. "Will your waitress be alright?"

"Who, her?" replied Ukyou. "She'll be just fine."

"Hey," hissed Ryouga, pulling Ukyou aside. "Where are you going?"

"Last minute thing, I'll explain later," said Ukyou. "Um... I guess you might as well close up the restaurant."

"What time'll you be back?" asked Ryouga.

"What are you, my dad? Don't worry about it," replied Ukyou. She turned to Mendo, holding out an arm, and said, "Shall we?"

"After you," said Mendo.

Mendo strode out after Ukyou, leaving Ryouga standing there,  
looking somewhat confused. After another five minutes of standing there, with a strange, somewhat sad look on her face, she finally started thinking.

Hey, why am I upset anyways? It isn't MY business...

Thinking of Ukyou quickly sunk her mood back to neutral. Ryouga blamed it on being in a girl's body [they get over-emotional, right?]  
and went off to boil some water. Maybe take a trip later... she was in the mood to get lost.

Some hot water and a few minutes later...

He stood there, getting more frustrated by the second. "WHERE THE HELL IS THE EXIT?!" He'd been wandering Ucchans for several minutes now, and he'd been through closet after closet after closet... and discovered that they had a cellar.

It was getting embarrassing. Normally, in situations like this,  
he'd just start punching through walls. In this case, however, he didn't dare, especially considering how she reacted the last time he wrecked the place.

*KNOCK*KNOCK*KNOCK* "ANYBODY HERE?! HEY!"

"Dammit, not now," he muttered, "I can't find the door... WHO IS IT?"

"IT'S ME, RYOKO!"

Whoops.

Ryouga froze for a second. The last time he saw her, he said a few things that might've... hurt her feelings. "Um... I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!"

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I CAN'T FIND THE DOOR!" he yelled in frustration.

He wasn't sure, but he thought he heard laughter.

"I'LL HELP YOU OUT!" she said.

"HOW?"

"I'LL SING A SONG, FOLLOW THE MUSIC!"

"Oh... well... OKAY!" Ryouga stood still for a moment, listening carefully. Then he heard it, a light humming, that soon went into a light song. He didn't understand the lyrics well, only bits and pieces of it since it was in English, but it was loud enough for him to follow and a nice song as well.

o/" Hey Jude, don't make it bad o/" o/" Take a sad song and make it better o/" o/" Remember to let her into your heart o/" o/" then you can start to make it better o/"

To the left... no, the right...

o/" Hey Jude, don't be afraid o/" o/" You were made to go out and get her o/"

Getting louder... closer... good... oops. Knocked something over.  
Oh well, Ukyou won't notice, right?

o/" Remember to let her into your heart o/" o/" then you can start to make it better o/"

Okay, to the left... *CRACK* Oops! Didn't notice that door. He winced, knowing Ukyou'd be upset about that.

o/" and anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain o/" o/" don't carry the world upon your shoulders o/" o/" for well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool o/" o/" by making his world a little colder o/"

Ah... the door at last.

Opening the door with relief, he said, "Ah, sorry for making you wait so long." They stood there, both looking nervous. She was nervous from the moment he opened the door. He was nervous from the moment he saw her being nervous when he opened the door. The two were, for lack of a better term, nervous.

"Um..." Ryouga said. He wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say, but he felt it couldn't be as bad as the silence.

"I, ah," said Ryoko unsteadily, "came to warn you about something."

"Warn?" wondered Ryouga.

"Yeah... it's about my brother."

"Ryo? He hasn't bothered me in a while."

"Ever heard of 'the calm before the storm'?" asked Ryoko.

"Oh."

"Can I... step inside?" asked Ryoko nervously.

"Oh! Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to be rude. Come on in!"

Ryoko walked in slowly, followed by Ryouga. They took a seat nearby.

"Well, it's like this. He's been acting kinda weird lately, not like he normally acts, and it might not be good."

"How?"

"He's... restless. Pacing around, in a downcast mood, he's on the edge of going off on another wild mood swing, I think."

"Oh. And this is a bad thing?"

"The last time he was like this... a lot of people got hurt." Ryoko's look became more somber. "And... I think he might hurt one of my friends."

"What? Who?"

"You've met Akari, right?"

"Briefly. Why? He's not..."

"He's dating her."

Ryouga blinked. "Huh?"

"He's dating her."

"And he's being mean to her? Abusing her? Or... molesting her? How dare he!" Ryouga stood up, fist clenched. "I won't let this go unpunished!"

"Acutally... he's being really nice to her."

"He'll pay for being nice to her!" Ryouga thought about it.  
No, that didn't sound quite right. "Ah, what?"

"whenever anyone asks him about it... when she's not around... he becomes, well, almost violent. Angry. Defensive. I'm afraid something bad might happen."

"Oh..."

"So, I was just wondering, I mean... if anything happened, I was wondering if you could help out?"

"Of course! It's a martial artist's duty to help out in these situations, after all!" Ryouga blinked briefly, wondering where he heard that before, then shrugged the nagging feeling away.

"Thanks," she said, smiling nervously. "I, ah, also wanted to talk about something else..."

"Oh?"

Ryoko looked away, appearing somewhat depressed. "About the, um...  
the last time we met..."

"What about..." wondered Ryouga. Then he remembered. Yelling in anger that he didn't care to have any relationships at all wasn't a good way to make an impression. And he'd been trying to tell her earlier, in a more polite way. "Oh. I... I'm sorry about that."

"No! No no, I'm sorry," she said, traces of sadness in her voice. "You don't...?"

"I, ah, I'm kinda recovering from a broken heart, I guess," said Ryouga, looking away. "I just... just don't want to date anybody.  
I, ah, hope you understand..."

"Oh. Is it something I-"

"No!" replied Ryouga, hoping to keep her from crying. He hated it when women went emotional. He hadn't the faintest idea what to do. "It's not anything you did, it's just me."

"Oh," she said. That, she supposed, was good news. Somewhat.

"I hope you're not too upset abou-" started Ryouga

"Me? Oh, no, don't worry about me," she said, trying to put on a smile. "I just... wasn't thinking much. Did I ever tell you why the sensei wanted me to marry you?"

"They wanted you to marry me?" asked a startled Ryouga.

"Oh... you didn't know that either, hm?"

"I was kinda... distracted... every time I meant to ask."

"Well," said Ryoko, "it was just a way to save face for them...  
they had doubts about my brother's ability to beat you."

"Wait, they also sent him after me?!"

"Well, you did leave abruptly, and some of the sensei are easily offended," replied Ryoko. "Where was I... oh yeah. If they couldn't defeat you, they figured they'd bring you back into the fold... by being engaged to me."

"Oh," said Ryouga, blushing slightly. "But... what about you?"

"What about me?"

"How did you feel about it?"

"I... well... you remember all the times we used to walk around the dojos... talk a little... all those things?"

Ryouga nodded.

"I... well... you're the first boy that I ever did all that with."

Ryouga was surprised. "What? Why? I mean, you seem like a nice girl to me, smart, cute, it's hard to imagine you... well... alone." Ryoko smiled and turned a shade pink at the compliments.

"It was because of Ryo," she explained. "When our parents went away, he... he was kinda overprotective. He told all the boys that if anyone messed with me in the wrong way, there would be hell to pay. And with his reputation there, well, no boys tried."

"But I was your friend, right?" asked Ryouga.

"You were also the first person he couldn't beat up badly."

"Oh, I see."

At that moment, Ryouga felt it coming, like some animals instinctively can tell when a rainstorm is about to hit. He knew a moment of awkward silence was approaching, and he sighed, knowing that he had no idea how to stop it.

"Alas, where is Ryouga? I wish to abuse him further," muttered Ryo, leaping around the rooftops of Nerima, "but my prey is not in sight today." His face was locked into a disapproving scowl as he stopped atop one rooftop, pacing back and forth like a panther.

Trying to focus his energy into a useful exercise, Ryo closed his eyes and stood still, lifting his arms upwards until they were stretched outwards to either side in a 'T' formation. Slowly, his gloved fists began to glow an odd sort of purple until his fists were obscured by the brightness. Then, just as slowly, his fists dimmed.

He repeated this several times, 'flexing his ki' as he thought of it. The purpose was to master control of his energies, and perhaps be able to generate more of it.

With mild curiosity he opened his eyes and lifted one dimly glowing fist to his face. His ki was once of a yellow nature... bright yellow... but now it was this odd shade of purple.

He hadn't given it much thought until now.

Ryo quickly shuffled the thought aside, a mystery for another day. He was still bothered by something else.

"I am restless today, and do not know why. I had hoped that the idiot would be wandering about, but I am denied. There is no school,  
the restaurant where he is known to inhabit was closed and locked,  
and... I... AM... BORED!"

Tanya squeezed through the small air duct slowly, making sure her filter mask was in place. Slowly and methodically, she scrubbed away at the walls, ridding the duct of mold, mildew, and other miscellaneous foreign objects that were tainting the air supply.

Noori had moved to Nerima shortly after the crash of the UWSMA,  
intending to exact her vengence and also start up her own small business. This, the cleaning of ventilation systems, was that business. It was work that was dirty, but she felt at home doing it. It was the closest thing to chimneysweeping that Japan had to offer,  
and the price she was offering was very competitive with what the other 'professional' cleaners were charging. Business, for her, was very well indeed.

This was all well and good, but what she was looking forward to was the after-hours entertainment: hunting Ryouga.

The moment of awkward silence passed, as Ryoko stared out the window with a blank stare and Ryouga nervously adjusted his bandanna.

"So..." he muttered.

"Can I... can I ask you a question?" wondered Ryoko.

"Um... sure."

"I can still call you my friend, right?" she said with a smile,  
holding her hand out in offer of a handshake.

Ryouga was surprised by this turn of events. It was never this easy with Ranma and his situation. He blinked, confused, then shook out of his daze, saying, "Oh! Sure! I'd be glad to!" He shook her hand and smiled. {Hey! That wasn't so bad.}

"So," she said, showing him a small smile, "who was this girl that caught your heart before me?" She poked his arm teasingly.

"Well, it's a long story," began Ryouga.

"Ukyou told me about it," said Ryoko.

"She WHAT?"

"About how your girl fell for her guy, although she didn't give me any names."

"Oh," said Ryouga, relieved that Ukyou hadn't told too much.

"So... what's she look like, this girl?" asked Ryoko.

Lost in memory, Ryouga described her, "well... short hair, kinda like yours, I guess. About your height... kinda like you I guess, but not really."

Ryoko blinked. That, she thought, was a rather interesting description. Curiosity prodded her onward with more questions,  
although she wasn't certain she should ask them.

"And... what about Ukyou?"

Ryouga snapped out of his slight haze. "Huh?"

"Why're you staying with Ukyou?" she asked. Of course, she'd already heard this part from Ukyou as well, but a part of her that was unfortunately influenced by her brother's paranoia demanded to hear Ryouga's side of things.

"I... ah... I was in bad shape when Ak... when I found out that the girl I was in love with loved someone else. Ukyou, she helped me out back then. A friend, you know?"

Trying to hide any signs of envy in her face, she asked, "so you two...?"

Ryouga looked at her with a distinct lack of comprehension. "Us two...?"

"You two, you and Ukyou I mean, you two weren't... ever... well... attracted to each other?"

Ryouga's face went from blank to annoyed as comprehension finally settled in. "What, with that... that... violent, short-tempered,  
cross-dressing, unfeminine excuse for a girl!" Reflexively, he winced as he said those words and looked around to make sure a certain spatula-armed girl wasn't around to clobber him into the ground.

Ryoko couldn't help but smile a little. "So, just friends, huh?"

"Yeah, just friends."

"Where is she anyways?"

"She's... out on a date or something," grumbled Ryouga.

Not noticing the distinct look of jealousy on his face, Ryoko asked, "Heey! A date! With who?"

"Some guy named Mendo," he grumbled.

Ryoko hmmed for a moment, tapping her chin. "Wait a minute, was he wearing all white?"

Ryouga nodded.

"Expensive car? Lots of servants?"

Ryouga nodded.

"Carried a sword?"

Ryouga nodded.

"THAT LUCKY GIRL!" she shouted, grinning.

Ryouga's mouth was locked in a small frown. "Lucky?"

"That's Shutaro Mendo! The richest bachelor in Japan! I've seen pictures of him. The guy is CUTE!"

Ryouga winced with each word, feeling smaller by the second. "Oh,  
I see."

"But," said Ryoko, patting Ryouga's shoulder, "I still think you're cuter." Ryouga blushed furiously.

As she was about to say something more, Ryoko's wrist watch started beeping. "Well, that's my little reminder that I'm on duty at the bar tonight," sighed Ryoko. She stood up, then hesitated. "Ryouga... you shouldn't be afraid of love just because something bad happened. I... I'm not pressuring you to date me or anything... just... saying, as a friend, don't dwell on the past too much. Okay?"

Ryouga blinked at the advice, not sure what to say in return.  
"Um... okay."

"Good." She patted him on the shoulder once more. "Say, you really like my singing voice?"

Ryouga nodded. "Definitely. Sounds great."

Ryoko smiled. "Thanks. See ya!" As she strolled out the door,  
she began singing that gaijin song that he didn't recognize. It didn't matter though. Somehow, the song sounded good anyways.

o/" Hey Jude, don't let me down o/" o/" You have found her, now go and get her o/" o/" Remember to let her into your heart o/" o/" then you can start o/" o/" to make it better o/"

Ryouga watched as she strolled down the street, singing her song,  
fading from view. She was, he thought, a really nice girl. Cute too.

He looked around the store.

Well, he thought, we're alone. Again.

A dark mood was settling down once more on Ryouga's soul, a mood he was all too familiar with. Determined not to sink into depression on this day, he did what he always used to do when his mind was like this.

Ryouga traveled.

Tanya looked out at the city from her rooftop perch, taking in the beautiful sights of the city from high above. She had felt, in her experience, that there was nothing quite like a rooftop view. It somehow put everything into perspective.

Like that boy walking by with the bandanna.

Bandanna?

Tanya grinned. "Ryouga." She had found him, at last. Now to leap down and crush the idiot to a pulp. She adjusted her grip on her steel-wire broom and prepared to jump down. {Heheh, Ryouga you bloody fool, you're mine.}

***WHAM***

Ryo grinned, watching Tanya soar across the skyline. Nothing like the universal Martial Artist Low Earth Orbit Kick to clear out the competition, really. He laughed quietly to himself, dusting off his shoe.

"Idiot. Ryouga is mine."

Ryo spun his umbrella idly, looking down at the streets. "Back to business..." He glanced down, scanning for Ryouga.

Who wasn't there.

"DAMNATION!" He cursed violently for a brief moment, then sprinted away across the rooftops, hunting once more.

Several blocks away, Tanya extracted herself from a garbage can angrily. She had him in her sights, she HAD him! And SOMEONE punted her away at the crucial moment! *BLOODY HELL!* she swore in her native tongue, then sprang up to the rooftops, hoping to find the forever lost Hibiki once more.

Ryouga stood at the center of a long bridge over a river, feeling the night breeze. The sound of the rushing water below was soothing. Definitely soothing.

He found himself wondering about Ryoko's advice. Certainly, he couldn't be afraid of dating in the future. It'd be... well...  
unhealthy. The problem, though, was the whole dynamics of the dating game. He'd never had to mess with it. It was always just... Akane. There she was, and there he'd go, fighting to get those three vital words out.

Would it have mattered, he wondered, if he did tell her earlier? Would he be in the situation he was in now if he hadn't? If he had the chance right now...

Ryouga shook his head. This was dwelling on the past, and Ryoko was right, it wasn't a good thing to do.

Absentmindedly, he wondered what Ukyou was up to.

As he leaned against a lamp post, a white, open-top Rolls Royce drove by slowly. Inside, a figure dressed in a white suit looked up at the stars, casually putting his arm around a girl with a white ribbon in her hair. They didn't seem to notice anyone else there but themselves...

"Is everything alright, Miss Kuonji?"

"Ah, well, yes Mendo-san, everything's fine. It's been a lovely night so far."

The car drove off into the night.

Ryouga scowled. "Why that... that... WHY SHOULD I CARE ANYWAYS?!"

Ukyou blinked, feeling a twinge of guilt for some reason. "Hey,  
did you hear something?" she asked, looking around.

"No... I don't think so," said Mendo.

Ryo leapt from lamp top to lamp top, lightly, barely making the lights shake. The idiot was a few lamps down, and not suspecting a thing. He grinned. "Tonight, Hibiki, you are mine."

He held his umbrella ready, concentrating his ki so that the hook end was blazing with energy, then leapt down.

"HIBIKI!"

*POOF*POOF*POOF*

"AAAAaaack..."

-splash-

Ryouga turned around. He thought he'd heard someone calling him...

"Weird."

For a moment, he listened carefully to his surroundings. Cars, the waves, the sound of laugher... nothing unusual. Shrugging off the odd feeling, Ryouga wandered off into the night.

Tanya Noori struggled to stay balanced on her light pole,  
snickering badly. The look on Ryo's face as three soot bomb bags nailed him and knocked him into the river was, simply put, a classic moment.

*That'll teach yew, ye bloody jackass!* she declared while laughing. It took her a few moments to calm down from the hysteria,  
having a nagging feeling that she was forgetting something.

*Aw hell! Ryouga! Where'd he go?!* She looked around angrily, but failed to see her prey anywhere.

Several minutes later, a dirty, wet, and furious Ryo Muhoshin emerged on the shore of the river, coughing, wheezing, and lamenting the loss of another set of good clothes to the river. They'd never recover from the soaking they got, even in a dry cleaner. Ryo made a mental note to look into more water-resistent clothing.

He wiped off the black material from his face and examined it.

Soot.

"THAT BITCH!"

Ryouga's stomach growled briefly, causing him to stop from his wanderings. "Guess it is dinner time," he mumbled. Normally, he didn't have to worry about it, mainly because there was always free okonomiyaki.

"Hmph. Sick of okonomiyaki anyways," he grumbled. He took a moment to examine where he'd wandered off to. Seemed to be the restaurant district, and fortunately for him, he brought his wallet. Something caught Ryouga's eye, a shadow of yesterday still standing a block away.

"The Nekohanten," he muttered. "Wonder how Mousse and Shampoo are." If she was still as violent and short-tempered with Mousse as she'd always been, he thought, then Mousse must be having a rough time of it. Funny what people put up with for love.

{Now why'd I think about that?} he wondered. Any further thoughts on human nature were pushed aside as the smell of fresh grilled food assaulted his senses and demanded his attention.

Tanya came to a stop atop a fairly tall building in the restaurant district of town. It was a relatively quiet night, all things considered, so she hoped that it'd be easier to spot Ryouga amongst the crowds.

*Where are you, y'bloody half-arsed...*

The breeze blew by, raising the aromas of the various restaurants into the rooftops, tempting her with the scents. *Cor, I'm a bit hungry, I am. Izzat yakitori I smell?* She sighed and sat down at the rooftop's edge, eyeing the various eateries.

And a bandanna-clad boy standing in front of a cart, buying several sticks of yakitori.

*Alright then, let's get this bloody show on the road, eh?* She grinned, pulling a few soot bombs from her jacket. She landed on the sidewalk softly, sticking to the shadows at all times.

Her plan was set: she'd blind him with a soot-bomb, then bludgeon him to the ground.

She waited until the feeling was right, then heaved a soot bomb at his head.

The wind was still.

Her aim was true.

He never saw it coming.

Ryouga sat at the counter of an open-air eatery, munching on his yakitori. As he ate, he thought he saw something on the floor. {Hey! Some yen! Lucky me.} He bent down to pick up the bills. He heard two distinct whooshing noises, flying behind him. Ryouga quickly sat up,  
looking left, then right. Seeing nothing, he shrugged. {Must be the wind.}

Ryo stumbled through the dark alley, coughing violently and wiping his face with his sleeves. {A soot bomb! AGAIN with the soot bomb!}  
He _had_ Ryouga dead in his sights, ki blast right at his bandanna-clad skull, and of all the stupid things he bends down! And then the damned soot bomb! He tripped over debris and bumped into walls, occasionally accompanied by cursing and swearing, and faded into the night.

Tanya stood up shakily, surprised she was still alive. The last thing thing she expected was a ki-blast, and that's what she got just as she flung her soot bomb. The bright yellow wave of energy nailed her in the chest, slamming into her harder than the hardest punch she'd ever taken. It sent her flying across a street, over the traffic... and... {AGAIN into a garbage bin! AGAIN!}

Ryouga smiled as he looked at the several yen he'd found on the ground. {Hm. Might be my lucky day.} He left a tip to the cook, then resumed his stroll to nowhere.

an hour later...

Noori sighed, happily. She'd missed Ryouga with a trap she'd set,  
a rather elaborate trap with ropes and a really heavy tanuki statue,  
but in the process, she'd accidentally eliminated that interfering Muhoshin. She was back to hunting him, searching the streets quickly,  
and...

Tanya had him dead in his sights.

Ryouga.

Standing in a street corner, looking very much unalert. She charged across the street, yelling and spinning her broom madly.

Ryo trod through the sewers, unsure of the exact details of the hows and whys of his current situation, but knowing the following facts:

1) something shiny and metal flew through the air 2) something really heavy hit him, most likely from above him. 3) he woke up in a pile of debris, in the sewers, and wasn't in any shape to leap out of the hole far overhead.

And at the rate things were going, he thought, he might be safer in the sewers anyways.

It was at one point where he finally saw a ladder leading up to a manhole. Feeling too lazy to make the effort of pushing the manhole out of the way, he prepared to shatter it with a quick breaking point touch.

Tanya Noori suddenly found herself flying through the air with fragments of metal slamming into her. Just before one large chunk hit her in the head, sending her into unconsciousness, she noticed with a tired sort of resignation that she was flying towards a garbage dumpster.

Again.

Ryo emerged from the manhole slowly, and immediately saw Ryouga. It didn't help his mood. As he sprang out of the hole, a truck slammed into him, sending him up, up, and away into (he saw with much anger) the river.

Again.

Ryouga blinked and turned around. There seemed to be a pothole in the road, cars swerved everywhere, and the honking was growing to annoying sound levels. He shook his head sadly, lamenting the effect of cars on modern life. How could you enjoy the city with those things blazing by and making all that noise?

yet another hour later...

Ryouga spent the rest of the night wandering aimlessly across town. Much to his surprise, he didn't leave the city of Tokyo. In fact, he saw parts of it he hadn't seen before. The tower thing seemed rather familiar... like something he'd seen seen in France. All through the night, he had a nagging feeling something was behind him. Sometimes he heard screams, and the people nearby seemed disturbed at something but he didn't see what. Whatever it was, it was gone by the time he looked.

Maybe he was getting paranoid?

Naah.

Minutes had turned into hours, and Ryouga found himself standing before good old Furinkan High. He sighed, surrendering to the fact that he was locked in a semi-sentimental mood.

Furinkan High.

Yeah, lots of memories here.

Ryouga sat down underneath the dark shade of a tree in the courtyard, watching the moon rise. So much happened here, in Furinkan. He found Ranma here and had several fierce battles with him. Almost had him, almost. On so many occasions, too. Ryouga shook his head sadly. Just a little bit more effort, and maybe...

Then there was the first time he met Akane. She was just another girl at the time. Somebody that seemed to be sticking around with his rival for some reason. And then her hair was cut. Whose fault was that? His? Ranma's?

Of course it was Ranma's fault.

What else, what else...

Oh yeah. The first time he met Ukyou. Ryouga grinned, not noticing it, though. She looked every bit the hansome young man, she did.

Amazing, that. Especially when he looked at her now, so cute...

"Feh, who cares about her?" he asked, but his voice lacked any strong emotion. She was cute. Angry, short tempered, and with an okonomiyaki fixation, but... cute.

Ryouga blinked, realizing that this particular line of thought was leading to some place he wasn't comfortable at all in going to. He sighed, leaned against the tree, and drank a can of soda.

He blinked again. Something was odd.

There seemed to be a giant, bronze pineapple sitting atop the roof of Furinkan. He grunted in disbelief. Looks like the principal was going tropically insane again.

Ryo stood next to the Furinkan High building, feeling the aches and pains of the day. He'd spotted Ryouga, repeatedly, and was poised to strike his enemy the final blow, but... every single time SOMETHING went wrong! And worse yet, somehow he ended up battered and injured,  
either by soot bomb or some other almost absurd sort of accident. He stretched, his sore body complaining with every movement. This night was one to forget. Damn that Hibiki luck, and DAMN that gaijin Noori for interfering in HIS affairs!

And those soot bomb stains weren't coming out of his shirt either.

Tanya sagged, leaning against the cool stone of the building's surface. Tonight wasn't a good night at all for her. Not at all. She *HAD* Ryouga dead in her sights, SEVERAL times, a guaranteed kill... except that SOMETHING always went wrong, somehow. Worse yet,  
she'd been trying to kill him all night, and it was her that was badly beaten up, via many, numerous, ridiculous accidents of one sort or another. That Ryouga was the luckiest bastard alive... and damn that Muhoshin for interfering in HER business!

Ryo heard breathing nearby. He blinked, listening carefully, and ignoring the aching bruise that was his body, stalked closer to the unexpected presence.

Tanya froze, sensing a presence nearby and approaching her. She ignored the soreness that the day had inflicted on her and readied her broom once more, waiting for combat. She slashed out where she suspected the person was, and her weapon connected solidly with something metal. In the dimness of the shadows, she could see the person's form. A sudden passing car illuminated the area.

"YOU!" growled Ryo.

"YOU!" yelled Tanya.

They both began slashing wildly, sending sparks flying whenever they hit the concrete walls of the school. In their tired, mad battle lust, they didn't notice the various ropes around them...

Ryouga settled down, looking at the rising moon. It reminded him of the days when he wandered across Japan with no place to call home. Just him, the stars, and a campfire at night. A brief moment later he was snoring restfully.

Ryo slashed again, wildly, adrenaline powering him on despite his fatigue. He advanced on Tanya with a wild and reckless series of slashes, pushing her towards the wall. Suddenly, a loud, shuddering,  
metal sort of noise groaned.

He suddenly had a bad feeling about things.

Ryouga woke with a start, feeling the ground shake under his body. Was it an earthquake? An explosion? He jumped to his feet, startled and alert. There was the sound of something heavy, something big,  
rolling away in the distance, but at the moment, in the darkness, he couldn't see clearly. Ryouga's gaze stopped at the top of Furinkan High.

"Hey, where'd that giant pineapple go?"

Doctor Tofu stopped reading his book and raised his head with a puzzled expression. Something just went *thud*, accompanied by a brief rattling that shook through his clinic. He rose from his desk and went to see what caused the disturbance.

several minutes later...

Tanya Noori sensed nothing. Total oblivion. No sight, no sound,  
no taste...

Actually, there was a feel. She finally felt gravity and it's constant pull, keeping her pressed to something fairly soft. Probably a bed of some sort. She took a deep breath, feeling the dry, cool air fill her lungs.

Then there was a motion. Something blurry, fleshtone in color, was slowly waving in front of him. She squinted to focus. There was some sort of sound accompanying that waving...

"How're you feeling?"

Tanya blinked.

"Are you okay, miss?"

Tanya sat up suddenly, which was a mistake. Her various bruises and cuts reminded her that rest was a good thing.

"Don't sit up miss, you need your rest."

"Who... are you?" she asked in her slightly rigid Japanese.

"I'm Doctor Tofu. I found you outside my clinic," he said, with some concern. "How are you feeling?"

She thought about this for a moment. "Hurt."

"Badly?"

"Mm... no."

"Well, you're in a little rough shape. I cleaned up your cuts and wounds, and did the best I could on all your bruises."

"Thank you." She looked around slowly, then saw a certain someone else on a medical bed nearby, eyes closed, resting with a scowl on his face.

"Should not help him," she told Tofu with a frown, pointing to Ryo.

"Shut up, Noori," mumbled Muhoshin.

"Hey, both of you, stop fighting," chided Tofu.

There was a knock at the front door.

"You two just stay put for a while, okay? I'll be right back." He went to the front door and opened it, revealing a puzzled looking group of Ranma, Akane, and Kasumi.

Tofu's glasses flashed from clear to cloudy in a heartbeat as Kasumi looked into his eyes and spoke.

"Hello Doctor Tofu, we were passing by and I decided to return some things I borrowed. Why is there a giant bronze pineapple in front of your clinic?"

"K-Kasumi! Why hello!"

The neighbors looked at the clinic, shaking their heads sadly as they heard agonizing screams and the sound of joints being bent out of the position where nature had intended them to be. Despite the doors being closed, they heard the screams of terror coming from within. The Tofu Clinic had thin walls.

"Wonder when the poor boy will ever overcome it," said one of the neighbors.

"Do you think she knows how he feels?" wondered another.

"AAAAAGH! MY NECK! MY NECK!"

"What's that, Miss Noori, you need painkillers?"

"I'M RYO! SHE'S *MFFF*"

"Oh, Doctor Tofu, you're so silly."

"Hmm... maybe, maybe not," said a neighbor, shrugging.

"Tsk, it's a shame about that. The doctor and her would make a rather nice couple... if it weren't for... you know."

"True, true."

*clap* "Such is fate."

It was, according to a nearby clock, about ten at night. He wondered if he should head back to Ucchan's, then tossed that idea aside quickly. What would she care if he was out? Besides, it was just a little walk.

He found himself in front of a grey building of French design. The sign on it's roof read, 'King's Cafe'. Wasn't that where Ukyou hung out now and then? Curiosity got the better of him, and he stepped forward to enter.

*SPLASH*

Ryouga sighed as the car drove away. Of course, there had to be a puddle nearby. And of course, the car had to hit it at just the right speed. Maybe, he (now a she) hoped, there'd be some hot water inside.

She entered and found herself in a very... European setting. The floor and all the furniture were made of unpainted lumber, and the walls were covered with grey cut stone, giving it the feel of a tavern of sorts. At one end was a small stage, where a few musicians were tuning up their instruments. One, in glasses, looked at Ryouga,  
blinked, then turned away. At the other end of the cafe was a bar,  
attended to by a gaijin lady, probably in her 30's, wearing a feminine burgandy tuxedo.

Two figures, their backs turned to him, were slumped on the bar,  
several barstools apart, and it seemed she was talking to them. Not knowing what else to do, he took a seat at the bar between the two.

"Hi there, miss," said the blond woman, "what'll it be?"

"Can I have a glass of hot water?" she asked.

The lady looked puzzled. "Hot... water?"

Ryouga nodded.

"Anything else? Pretzels? Peanuts? Snacks?"

"No... that's all for now. Thanks."

As she waited for the hot water, Ryouga noticed that the bartender was looking at her strangely. It was making her nervous.

"You wouldn't happen t'be named Hibiki, would you?" asked the lady. The girl and boy to Ryouga's left and right stirred.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, s'the lossssssssstboooooy? Wherrre?" said the boy. He was in a navy blue suit, but it was ragged and stained badly everywhere with some sort of black dirt. His face also had traces of the black stains.

"Aaaaah, Hibiki-san? Heeeeeere? Surp-p-prising," said the girl. She was dressed in a British outfit from the Victorian era.

There was something dangerously familiar about the pair. The fact that they both seemed to be drunk, or high on some chemical, didn't ease Ryouga's nervousness.

Wait... skinny, wears a suit, and there was a distinctive black umbrella next to him. Ryo Muhoshin. Not good.

The other... odd accent, covered with black stained clothing...  
Noori. Getting worse. Both of them, and in the same building, no less. Not good.

Ryouga tried to back away, but with crooked grins, they both dragged him and sat him firmly into a bar stool. To make sure he didn't get away, they both sat at either side of him.

"Aaaah. You, madame," he said, squinting at her, "are... not Ryouga."

*Abso-bloody-lutely* said Noory.

Ryo poked Tanya. "Oy! Noori! Ya'talkin in gaiiiiijin'gain."

*Who gives a rat's ar... arse*

Ryo contemplated her worlds. "Hm. Qui... quite right."

King smiled as she watched the pair banter with the very nervous looking girl in the middle. The whole scene just looked too funny. "By the way you look," she said, "and from what I've heard, you look like you're maybe... his sister?"

"Um... yeah, that's it," she answered nervously. "I really should go..." said Ryouga nervously.

"Come now, m'laaady, stay'n wax philosophic with us, eh?" urged Ryo. "Evennnnnif you arra Hibiki."

"Stay, stay, need more people fo... fooooooor this," said Noori.

Ryouga looked at King with worried eyes. "Um... why are they like this?" he asked her. "Did they..."

"They came in this way," said King. "Before they were totally gone like this, Muhoshin said something about someone named Tofu, a bottle full of very strong medication, and some girl named Kasumi. Make any sense to you?" she asked.

"I took th'whooooooooooooooole bottle!" yelled Ryo. "Naaaaaaaaaasty medicine, I tell you. But I'm feelin' so hiiiiiiigh right now."

*Abso-bloody-lutely* added Noori.

"Japaaaaaaaanese, Noori. Speak'n Japanese. How'll the preeetty laaady," said Ryo, poking Ryouga in the head," understand what you're sayin'?"

"Up yoooooooours, skinny," replied Noori with a grin.

"Much better. Now," said Ryo, blinking and shaking his head. "Me'n... miss SOOT BOMB here... we was havin' a discussion...  
meanin'o life and all that, hm?"

"Right-o," added Noori.

"Ssssso..." slurred Ryo.

"Hmmmmm..." mumbled Tanya.

They both slumped back to the bar.

Ryouga sat there, unsure of what to do, exactly. They never saw her in this form before. Actually, only Ukyou, Ranma, and Akane knew about it. She would have gone out more as a girl, thought Ryouga, if she had known it'd help in avoiding those two.

"Seems these two are your friends?" asked King.

"Actually, they're out to kill me," said Ryouga.

"Youu?" wondered Ryo.

"Hm?" added Noori.

"Er, um, I mean, my brother," fumbled Ryouga.

"DARN RIGHT!" yelled Ryo.

"BINGO!" cheered Tanya.

"Tried aaaaaaaaall night, too," said Ryo. He poked at Ryouga somewhat harshly. "HE... hassss the damnedest luck."

*No bloody kiddin'* mumbled Tanya. Ryo looked at her for a moment,  
thought about reminding her to stay in the Japanese tongue, then just rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"E'r since sundown, been tryin't kill'em, missed by THAT much,"  
said Ryo, putting his finger and thumb almost together.

*Me tooooo* blurted Noori.

"What'd she say?" asked Ryouga.

"S'not important," replied Muhoshin.

*Bugger off, umbrella-booooooy* sneered Tanya drunkenly.

*Bite-u meh* shot back Ryo. Focusing back on Ryouga, Ryo said,  
"where were weeeeeeee..."

*Waxin' the bloody philosophic* said Tanya.

"Yeah, that," nodded Ryo.

"What'd she say?" asked Ryouga.

*Waxin' the philosophic* repeated Tanya.

"Exactly," said Ryo.

"They were just talking about life. I think they're really wasted," added in King. "You two guys want any coffee to sober yourselves up?"

"Tha's if we're drunk, an'we're not," said Ryo.

"We're stoned," added Noori.

"Quite right," said Ryo. "Stoooooned silly. Now wha're'we talkin'about?" he asked Noori.

"Life?" wondered Noori.

"Nah, too general."

"Meaning of life?"

"Did that already."

"The ex... ex... there bein' a benevolant higher being?" wondered Tanya.

"I think we agreeeeeeed that it was a being of a naaaasty sense'o humor, ne?"

"Oh yeah. Oh... what is happiness?"

"A warm gun," said Ryo, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, oh. Ah! Llllllllove!" said Tanya, pounding the bar with her fist.

"L'Amour!" exclaimed Ryo.

"Hey," said Tanya, reaching over to whap Ryo in the head. "Speak th'native tongue, eh? No French"

"Oh. Sorry."

King sat back and watched. "This oughta be good," she mumbled.

"AND WHAT... iz love?" asked Ryo.

"A warm gun?" wondered Noori.

"No, thaaaaaaaaaat's HAPPINESS!" replied Ryo irritably.

"Ah, love. Tis that which beats in every heart, what makes slaves of men and women, and drives madness into the most stoic of hearts. Oh, what fools us mortals be when gripped by the fiery hand of love! The passion and the tempest which is stirred indeed, when that strongest of emotions possesses our souls!"

Ryo blinked.

Tanya blinked.

Ryouga blinked.

King stepped up. "Anything to drink, mister..."

"Tatewaki Kuno, oh fair mistress of the bar," said Kuno, taking a seat next to Noori. "I shall partake of some tea, good woman." He noticed the bandanna-clad girl staring at him oddly. "Ah, hello,  
young lady. Allow me to introduce myself." Ryouga tried to escape,  
but he was blocked at the sides by Noori and Muhoshin, behind by Kuno,  
and front by the bar. Kuno ranted on... "I am the one known amongst notable circles as Tatewaki Kuno, blazing star of the kendo world, and the legendary blue thunder of Furinkan High!"

In the distance, thunder rumbled as Kuno struck a dramatic pose.

"And what is the name of the young lady standing before me?" he asked Ryouga.

"Sheeeee's sittin'," pointed out Ryo.

"Sitting before me," corrected Kuno.

*Much better* mumbled Noori.

"What was that which this street urchin hath spoken? Methinks she speaks in the gaijin tongue?"

"S'not important," mumbled Ryo.

*Screw you* mumbled Noori.

"See what I mean?" said Ryo.

"Again I ask," Kuno said to Ryouga with a bit of a grin, "what might thy name be?"

"I'm Ry...er... Rei." Ryouga tried to think of a way for the bothersome trio to focus on something else so that she could sneak away. Unfortunately, noting great came to mind. "Um, what were you two talking about?" she asked Noori and Muhoshin.

"Love!" declared Ryo.

"Natures of the heart?" asked Kuno. "The Blue Thunder is, I dare say, thoroughly knowledgeable in the affairs of the heart. But what hast this company to say on the topic?"

*Love?* replied Noori, *S'when y'see someone, roight? An'every moment you're with'em, y'don'wanna leave'em.* She sniffled a bit, then said *A li'l more water, miss?*

Ryouga tried to make sense of it all. He couldn't. English wasn't a language he was familiar with, except for the words 'where am I?'  
'where is Japan?' and 'Where is the restroom?'.

"Hah, and this was why you dated my brother?" snickered Ryo.

*Tha'wassa bloody mistake, now don'bringiitup'gain.*

"Hrmph. Any thoughts on th'sub... sub... topic, Bluuuuuue Thundah?" wondered Ryo.

"When cupid's arrow doth strike," said Kuno, standing up dramatically, "the very thought of the one which you love clouds...  
nay, BEFUDDLES thy mind! The tongue is turned to rubber and the heart beats with a fierceness unmatched. When one is in love, neither stick, nor stone, or mighty kick, which my pig-tailed goddess doth have alongst with a mighty punch, shall deter one from one's object of desire." Kuno sat down once more, taking a sip from his glass.

*Tha'was beuuuuutiful, man* said Noori. Ryo nodded solemly. *Wha'bout you, stick-boy?* Noori asked Ryo.

"Hm? Love... what is love... love is..." Ryo fell silent.

"Is...?" wondered Ryouga.

"Is...?" prodded King.

*'urry up'n answer, ya bloody git* mumbled Noori.

Ryo looked up, solemly. "I've no idea."

"Are you not dating Unryuu?" asked Noori. *Hah, rhymed, that did!*

"Oh, so you're him?" said King. "Akari's one of my employees. She talks about you a lot, you know."

"S-she does?" said Ryo, looking surprised. Suddenly, it felt a bit warm in the room to him. He adjusted the ragged remains of his tie nervously.

"Ah..." Ryo found the situation entirely too uncomfortable. So he did the only thing he thought was left to do. "What ab... what've you t'say on this love business, miss? Eh?"

"Ahhhh... I don't know." She looked down at the bar, sadly.

"Come nnnnnnnow, Miss Rei. Don't you have any experiences to draw upon?" wondered Ryo.

"Tis sad indeed," said Kuno.

"I..." said Ryouga, trying to find something to say. "I... know a couple. They're in love. I... don't understand why. He insults her all the time, she hits him all the time because he's a jerk... but they love each other. Makes no sense."

"There is no mystery in it, Rei-chan," replied Kuno. "For when one is in love, one ignores the minor slights and offenses, and in the end follows thy heart. The angry tongue or violent fist may crack the heart, but when one is truely chained by love, wounds to thy pride are nothing. Come, let me show you the way of love! *OOF*" Kuno was knocked back in mid-glomp by 'Rei' and her punch. This seemed to set him back to a non-aggressive mode, at least for the moment. "Ah, The lady doth have a strong punch, not unlike my pigtailed goddess and the fair Akane Tendo." The others stared at Kuno briefly, shrugged, then stared back into their drinks. King was snickering badly, she was definitely liking this part of town already.

Ryo rubbed his chin, contemplating Kuno's words of wisdom. "So...  
in oth... in oth... so, a person enam... enema... in love puts up with a lotta crap, hm?"

"I would not phrase it in such a vulgar way," said Kuno, frowning.

The four fell into a contemplative silence.

"Annnnybody got any cards?" wondered Ryo.

"Well, where to next?"

Ukyou blushed, smiling at the regal treatment she'd been receiving all night from Mendo. It'd been a while since anyone had paid attention to her in this manner.

"Hm..." She tapped her chin, wondering where indeed to go next. They'd had a good drive, through a rather scenic part of town, topped off by dinner at a four star restaurant that just happened to have a jazz band and a dance floor as well. Mendo had turned out to be a very good dancer indeed. And now they were driving around with no particular place to go.

"Oh, wait, stop over here," said Ukyou. "Let's stop in here for a little coffee?"

Mendo smiled. "As you wish."

The drink wasn't what she wished for. She would've rather ordered a cola, but Tanya had shoved the drink in her hands before she could protest, and King was away tending to other customers.

Ryouga frowned. She wasn't sure at all what on earth he was doing with this pack of lunatics. It just didn't make sense. There was Kuno, who was out to smite him, no thanks to Ranma and a practical joke of his that made Kuno think his pig-tailed goddess was now Ryouga's. There was Tanya, who had some grudge against him but never explained it just yet. Then there was Ryo, who simply had developed quite a mean streak when all things Hibiki were concerned.

However, the current conditions of these people made it easier and harder to deal with them. It was easier, because it looked like no fight would break out, and harder because they were acting far far more strange than he was used to. Apparently, Kuno had been feeling a tad melancholy, and so this night, for Blue Thunder, was not one for conflict, but contemplation. Add to that the excessively caffeinated drinks and odd effects of mass dosages of sugar additives in said drinks and it left Kuno feeling... odd. Tanya and Ryo were apparently stoned, possibly due to Dr. Tofu, Kasumi, and Bad Timing.

It was, definitely, under normal circumstances, extremely undesirable company. But the mood he was in that night, something bordering on sad, but not quite, held on to him. It is said misery loves company. Melancholy doesn't mind a few houseguests either.

She wondered if it was possible to leave yet, sighing and looking down at her glass.

"Ryouga? Is that you?"

A blast of ice ran it's way through her spine. A definite bad feeling. Tanya, Ryo, and Kuno looked around, expecting to see their nemesis nearby.

Ukyou walked into King's cafe, hoping for some pleasant after dinner conversation, but instead saw Ryouga, in his cursed form,  
sitting with a group of people that should have been trying to kill him, and with a drink in her hand.

She remembered how Ryouga was the last time he was drunk. Ukyou was determined not to put up with it again.

"HEY! YOU!"

Ryouga nearly dropped his glass, as he stared at Ukyou like a deer before a car's headlights. "Um... Ukyou..."

"And you're drinking again, too!" yelled Ukyou.

"It's not-! I mean-! It isn't! I wasn't!" Ryouga stumbled for words, but just couldn't focus with all the panic hitting him.

"Ooooh, someone's in troooouble," hissed Ryo.

*Oy, s'the weird gel wit'th'spaaatchula* mumbled Tanya.

"Tsk. Ah, fair miss Kuonji, tis sad to see such a young lady steeped in the chains of alchoholism, is it not?" said Kuno solemly,  
shaking his head.

"I'M NOT DRUNK!" insisted Ryouga. However, her tired expression from what she'd had to endure at the bar previously, added to the effort of walking around all day didn't help her appearances. "But maybe YOU are, after you and the rich kid have been running around all night!"

"What's THAT supposed to mean?!"

"What do you THINK it means?!"

*CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG*

Meanwhile...

Kuno's head rose, and he peered at Mendo curiously. "Mendo?"

Mendo stared at Kuno, recognition seeping into his mind. "Kuno?"

Ryo turned to Tanya. "Good security, those Mendo buildinnnngs have."

Tanya nodded in agreement. She'd tripped their alarms every time she hopped across one of their rooftops.

"Ah! Mendo!" Kuno grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down to a nearby barstool. "It has been long since we had last met! Come,  
have a seat with us on this good night!"

"Ah, I would love to, Kuno-kun, but I really must see this young lady... ah..." He looked around. Miss Kuonji was gone. "Where did Miss Kuonji go?"

"Worry not about the weaker sex tonight, Mendo! Come, share with us a drink and good conversation," urged Kuno, slapping him on the back cheerfully. Full of mirth, Kuno and the others dragged Mendo to the table, while Kuno mentioned to one of Mendo's aides, "the veritable Shutaro Mendo shall be enthralling us with his presence,  
perhaps it would be best to return those two fair maidens," he gestured at Ukyou and a now unconscious Ryouga (wearing a gigantic spatula), "back to their place of residence?"

"Yessir, right away!"

Ryouga woke up with a nagging headache. He was also still a she,  
and also apparently back at Ucchan's. She had a ringing headache, and it definitely wasn't due to a hangover. How, she wondered, did Ukyou manage to do that? Knock him out with one blow? She'd taken MUCH worse from far stronger adversaries, and yet she comes along, and with one hit of her spatula, *WHAMMO* lights out. He wondered if it had any link to why Akane always beat Ranma up so easily all the time.

She wandered aimlessly around, looking for a kitchen. It seemed her mouth was incredibly dry. It was while doing this that she overheard a voice somewhere else in the house, definitely Ukyou's. Maybe she was talking on the phone?

"I'm sorry about tonight, Mendo, but I had a great time anyways."

Mendo? Ryouga narrowed her eyes. What was she doing talking to Mendo?

"Your proposal?"

PROPOSAL?! Ryouga felt her heart sink and she slumped to the floor, feeling suddenly cold.

"Well..."

_Say no!_ Ryouga screamed in her mind, _please say no! Don't leave m.._

"Well, I'm not sure yet..."

_THANK_YOU._

"But I'm gonna havta talk to my dad about it too. I'll need his approval, of course."

That... didn't sound good. Sounded like she was going to say yes. Father's approval?! It couldn't be...

"Good night, Mendo-san." Ukyou hung up the phone and sighed. It was a pretty fun night, all things considered. If only that dummy Ryouga didn't get lost and smashed. She checked to make sure the doors were locked, then went to the back area of the restaurant where she immediately stumbled over Ryouga, who was sitting on the floor and looking a little despondant. A little too sad for her not to notice.

"Hey, Ryouga, you okay?" She waved a hand in front of his face. He seemed not to notice it. "Ryouga? Hey, you're worrying me. C'mon, sugar, snap out of it."

"Huh?"

Ukyou sat down across from Ryouga on the floor and gave him a worried look. "What's on your mind? You look... well... depressed."

"It's... nothing." He hung his head down, feeling the old depression settle into him like fog.

Ukyou poked Ryouga's arm teasingly. "C'mon, tell me about it."

"I... I'd rather not. Can you just guide me to my room?"

Ukyou became very worried at this. Since when did Ryouga hide anything from her lately? "Well, okay, if you say so. C'mon." Withouth thinking about it, she stood up, then grabbed him by the hand. As he shuffled into his room with some odd expression on his face, she felt frustrated that she wasn't able to cheer him up.

"Well... g'night, Ryouga."

"Good night."

Ukyou took a moment to give him a light hug. She didn't think of why, really, except that someone she cared about was in one of his deep depressions again. She gave him a light, harmless slap on the cheek and then poked him on the nose with a mock-frown on face.

"Hey, don't be afraid to tell me what's bothering you, okay? I worry about you sometimes."

"Y-you do?"

"Of course I do, stupid. Now get some sleep." And with that said,  
Ukyou left.

Merry humming came from Ukyou's bedroom as she got ready for bed. It was a good day, with a fair bit of fun and some future potential too.

Then she froze.

A sinking feeling hit her fast as she realized what she'd have to do if she wanted to get any further on the matters she discussed with Shutaro Mendo.

She'd have to talk to her father.

And she hadn't done that in a long time. She wasn't planning on talking to him just yet either.

Oh my.

What to do? She grit her teeth in aggrivation as no solution seemed to present itself in her mind. There was only one thing to do.

Procrastinate like she never procrastinated before in her life.

Ryouga's mind was spinning in odd directions. He'd felt this way before, but for the first time he was realizing what it was and was afraid of what the consequences might be if he was right. A confusing end to a confusing day.

On one hand, nothing ventured nothing gained.

And yet... sometimes there are things best left unsaid.

He took in a deep breath, closed his lights, and after five minutes, found his bed and slept in it.

-end part 10-  



	12. Konatsu's Arrival

tp-11

======================== The Pursuit of Happiness Act I Part 11 Konatsu's Arrival =================

[Nerima District, Morning]

"Ryouga Hibiki, I challange you!"

The lost boy sighed. He really wasn't in the mood for this. He was following Ukyou to school, and somewhere along the way he lost track of her. And now, as was his nature, he was hopelessly lost and definitely late for school.

Not good.

And now this.

A block away, in her usual sooty atire, the mysterious gaijin Tanya Noori stood in a combat stance with a really mean looking steel-brush broom in one hand, and a meaner looking metal sharp thing in the other hand.

"Can you just tell me," he said tiredly, "WHAT did I do to you?"

For a brief moment, she ranted VERY angrily. But she ranted in English and so he had no idea what she was saying.

"Um... excuse me..."

Noori snapped at him in English once more, and seemed to be waiting for something.

"Can you talk in Japanese? You're talking really fast and my English isn't that good."

Tanya scowled. She kept on slipping back into English every now and then when she was mad, and was feeling embarrased that her five minute tirade went right over his head.

No, that wasn't right.

It was his fault for not knowing his English better.

Yes, that's it.

"LEARN ENGLISH!" she yelled at him. "I sai- a... ACK!"

"Ack?" wondered Ryouga. Before he could ask further, she suddenly ran off and quickly disappeared from sight. "Now where'd she go?" he wondered.

"Um, excuse me?"

Ryouga blinked. Seconds after a battle was supposed to have started, one doesn't expect a genteel feminine voice to be asking for attention. He turned around to see who was asking, and his eyes were greeted by one of the more... beautiful, he guessed (any other word wouldn't be quite appropriate), girls he'd ever seen. She was covered, except for her face, entirely in black ninja garb. It was obvious she was in fine shape indeed. Not curvy or busty, but a normal sort of form. And her face was certainly beautiful, in a vague sort of way, as well, topped by long, soft ebony locks bound in a ponytail. If she wasn't in ninja garb, he'd imagine she'd probably look like a good candidate for a nice normal wife.

"Um, excuse me? Hello?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh, sorry. Were you talking to me?" he wondered.

"Yes," she said, looking concerned. "I'm wondering... have you seen a young girl here... a gaijin... with blond hair, probably covered with soot?"

"Yes, she was just here a moment ago, but..."

"She was?" asked the girl, her voice rising slightly with hope. "Do you know where she went?"

"Um... sorry, no."

She sighed. "Thank you for your help. Goodbye." Suddenly, she was engulfed in smoke, then disappeared as a breeze blew the smoke away.

Ryouga frowned.

It was going to be one of _those_ days.

Tanya peered from the shadows nervously. _How_ did Konatsu find her? How? Damn, this was quite an unpleasant pickle to be in indeed. It was ridiculous how much of a pain in the rear one simple act of kindness could escalate into something so ridiculously annoying.

Konatsu was a sweet girl, really, but what she wanted, Tanya really was not willing to give.

Right now, what Tanya really needed was a drink and a quiet place to hide. Now where, around here, was like that? Hm...

King looked at her latest patron with some curiosity. It seemed to be a very young, sooty, agitated, and nervous chimneysweep thumbing through a copy of the London Times, muttering occasionally in English,  
and nursing some darjeling tea.

If she was back in England, this wouldn't be so surprising.

Hey, weren't you here a couple of nights ago? asked King.

Tanya blinked. Ah... oy dunna recall...

You seemed kind of drunk that night.

Oh, THAT night. Wasn't drunk, oy was stoned. Big diff'rence,  
y'see?

This wasn't much better in King's view.

Hey, hope you don't mind me asking... started King tenatively.

Hm? Wot's at? said the girl in a tired (and very heavily British accented) voice.

Is there really a chimneysweep market in Tokyo?

Hm? Yea, surprisin'but true, innit?

King nodded in agreement. How'd a chimneysweep like you end up way over here?

Heh, long story. The girl took a long sip of her tea and sighed. Ah, good tea, like'n ol'Englund, it is. A bloody relief to foind somebody wot speaks English too!

Name's King. Nice t'meet you, said King, extending a hand.

The girl shook it, saying Name's Tanya.

If you don't mind me saying, Tanya, said King, seems like something's bothering you.

Yeah, s'a bit ova... tricky thing, this is. She briefly wondered why she was about to tell the bartender what she was dealing with,  
although she shouldn't have worried. Everyone tells the bartender everything eventually. It's a rule of the universe. Started some months back...

[SOME MONTHS BACK...]

Tanya was tired. Very tired. Wandering through Japan on foot (as most martial artists tended to do) was very draining on her, and she'd been doing it for an entire month so far. She needed some rest. She needed relief. And in this remote mountain area, she wasn't expecting anything but another night under the stars on the hard forest floor.

Just when she was ready to give up, there was suddenly hope.

Lit in the darkness, like a ray of hope, was a modest wooden building, with a sign that displayed 'Sexy Tea Shop Kunoichi'. Sexy Tea Shop? Sounded bloody perverted to her, but Tanya was incredibly sick of nature and had a burning desire for some modern civilization settings.

And what she saw next was...

Bloody 'orrifyin! Three'o the most bloody ugly witches oi evah seen! said Tanya. The missus wus this UGLY ol'biddie, words CANNOT begin tew descroibe haw absolutely WRETCHED she looked! An'er daughters, oh, wot a blight they be on the eath, ev'ry bit as UGLY as their mam!

Sounds like you stumbled into a witches' coven, kid. said King.

S'wot it looked like! swore Tanya. They wos circle'in 'round a bubblin' tea pot an'cacklin most hag-like! T'was a den'o evil, I tell ye, a bloody teahouse o'the damned! An'that wasn't the worst part. They had'em a prisoner, they did...

Tanya stared with major apprehension at the cup of tea that was placed before her. In any other setting, it would probably look like a quite normal beverage, of no threatening nature, and possibly quite refreshing.

Within the abode of those three hags, however, it looked like it was possibly brewed by questionable persons, using dubious liquids,  
and with the distinct possibility of sanitary violations occurring during the creation of said drink.

She eyed it much like someone eyes something really distasteful. Actually, that's exactly what she was doing. Meanwhile, the three witches were watching her carefully, waiting for her to actually drink the liquid.

"Er..." she said nervously, "Do you... have... um... sugar?" That seemed to be a good idea at the time. Sugar. Surely it couldn't make the drink any worse than she was afraid it was. She looked around the table as an afterthought, and noted that there wasn't any sugar to be seen. The three hags seemed to notice this too.

"KONATSU!" bellowed one of the hags suddenly, startling Tanya enough to make her twitch. "KONATSU YOU LAZY USELESS DAUGHTER OF MINE! GET OUT HERE!"

Tanya was horrified. There were _more_ of these hags? Looking at what was apparently the mother, and what the two daughters looked like, genetic odds were that this other daughter would kill her appetite entirely.

She was entirely surprised when a young girl rushed out, a perfectly normal young girl, beautiful actually, rushed out in a panic.

"Yes mother?" said Konatsu timidly.

MOTHER?! Bloody hell, talk about defying the odds. Those must've been some seriously dormant genes that made it through to this girl, thought Tanya.

"Konatsu you IDIOT! You forgot to leave sugar on the tables!"

"S-sorry, mother! I'll go get it now!"

The two sisters cackled while the mother bellowed again. "For your mistake, you get no dinner tonight!"

"But... but I haven't eaten in a week!"

"ARE YOU TALKING BACK TO ME?!" shrieked the mother ghoul.

"N-no... no, mother." said Konatsu meekly. "I'm not."

"And you'll have to scrub the floor before you go to sleep tonight!"

"But... but I scrubbed the floor an hour ago..." said Konatsu sadly.

"Don't you dare talk back to me you UNGRATEFUL GIRL!"

To Tanya's horror, the trio of hags started beating and kicking on Konatsu, clearly enjoying it. She didn't like this, not one bloody bit. But... it was a family matter, none of her business. But...  
dammit, the way they were treating her... it REALLY was making Tanya MAD.

'At's bloody well ENOUGH! she yelled.

In English.

Everyone in thee room stared at her curiously.

Tanya winced, realizing her mistake. She thought about saying it again in Japanese, but decided it again and just started hitting people.

I mean, wos I not justified in defendin'the poor gel? said Tanya. I jus' couldn't stan'by an watch'em do that to'er!

Seems like you did the right thing, agreed King.

Yeah, but ye know wot the sayin' says, 'The Road To Hell'  
an'wotnot. Aaaynyways, after oi royally whipped'er bums good, the gel was all actin' sad!

TAKE THAT! *WHAM* AND THAT! *WHAM* AND THATANDTHATANDTHAT! *WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM* Tanya was feeling GOOD. Nothing helped her unwind than a savage beating to people that deserved it. Checking to make sure the three hags from hell were unconscious, she sat down and surveyed her work.

The tea shop would never be the same, definitely. Utterly destroying the walls tends to do that to a place.

Oh well.

All seemed to be well, with the just defended and the unjust whapped silly, when Tanya noticed that the girl, Konatsu, seemed to be depressed and alarmed.

"Um... why did you do that?" asked Konatsu.

Well, Oi jus'can't stand back an'let em hags abuse you an'whatnot! S'not right!

Konatsu blinked.

Tanya blinked. Oh, wait. Oops. Slipped into English again.

"They shouldn't treat you so bad. I cannot stand by and let them abuse you like that! It isn't right!"

"Oh..."

"Why are you sad?" asked Noori in her uneven Japanese.

"Where... where do I go from here?" asked Konatsu fearfully. "I've no place to stay now and... and they'll surely blame me for all this."

"WHAT?!" Tanya was fired up once more. "You not rely on... on... THEM! What they give you? They beat you up and work you like dog! You are better off alone!"

"But... but I don't know how!"

Tanya sighed, exasperated at the girl's lack of self-confidence and apparent helplessness. She wanted to _liberate_ the girl, not strand her helpless out here. Something had to be done, although she really didn't want to be the one to do it.

"Come on, let's go."

Konatsu blinked. "Go? Where?"

"To the city. Find jobs over there, maybe?"

"But... but who will want to hire me? I mean..."

"Who will...? You are hard-working and beautiful, sure there will be a job for you," said Tanya confidently.

Konatsu seemed to brighten slightly. "You really think I'm beautiful?"

Tanya took a moment to look at Konatsu thoughtfully. "Very much,  
more than your mother or sisters definitely." She then turned southward. "Come on, let's travel."

She didn't notice Konatsu's slight blush. "By the way, you didn't tell me your name."

"Hm? Noori Tanya."

"Kenzan Konatsu."

Pleased t'meet ya.

"What?"

"Nice to meet you."

"Oh."

So anyways, as it turns out, the next town we hits was Hokkaido. Loverly spot to tour, it is. Ever been there? wondered Tanya.

No, not yet said King.

Truely oughta visit there some time, yew should. Anyways, while we was travelin', she tol'me why it was that she happened t'be quite beau-ti-ful, while her mum an'sisters were bloody hags. Turns out she was their stepdaughter, an'er parents died quite a long time ago. So they been takin'advantage of her, those hags have. Oh yeah, she's also supposed t'be some kinda super-genius ninja... some weird one-inna generation thing. Seems stepmum was a bit envious, oi thinks. Bit offa bizzare Cinderella-ish story, innit?

You're not making this up, are you? wondered King.

Wot? Naw, s'too bizzare to be a lie, an'I ain't that good a storyteller. Anyways, we was a bit strapped for cash, so I gets us a job at a restaurant, with me doin'the dishwork an'such, and Konatsu gettin'the waitress bit. Things was going nice, they were, but 'er bloody mum an'sisters followed us...

Tanya wheezed for breath.

Around her, the restaurant was thoroughly, definitely, and totally trashed. Damn, but those old biddies were a lot tougher than before. She ached all over from the blows that the three hag Kunoichi had inflicted on her. Konatsu was beside her, also looking severely beaten. The hags, Tanya noted, didn't look so great either, but considering how they looked normally, it was hard to judge their condition properly.

They would have never, ever, gotten so many hits in if they hadn't have snuck up in ambush. Or so Tanya firmly believed.

"Konatsu," said the eldest hag, "stop this nonsense and come back with us NOW!"

"No... I-" said Konatsu before she was interrupted.

"SHE IS NOT GOING BACK WITH _YOU_," stated Tanya firmly.

"Oh-ho, being stubborn, are you?" said the eldest. She gave a glance to one of her daughters, who suddenly whipped out a blowgun and shot at Tanya.

She easily blocked it with her broom handle.

The other one, shot by the other sister, however, wasn't blocked. Tanya felt the sudden sting on her neck, then felt the world slowly fade into black, Konatsu's screaming voice only a distant sound...

It was darkness. She was not able to hear, see, taste, or smell anything. It wasn't a state she was familiar with, and she sure as hell didn't like it. Now... how did things end up like this? Oh yes,  
darts. Must've been poisoned or something. That was rather underhanded, wasn't it? Why those bloody hags. She'd have to give'em a royal medievel thrashing... once she got out of this darkness.

She tested one more time.

Heard nothing, saw nothing, tasted nothing, smelled nothing.

Oh, wait, she felt something. Something soft... her head was resting on something soft. Ah, she was lying down apparently. Good,  
that starts to establish things, that does.

With slight apprehension, she blinked, then opened her eyes.

Apparently, her head was on Konatsu's lap. Not pillows. Hrm. It seemed Konatsu had fallen asleep watching over her, and they were now on some odd rooftop. Might as well get up, she thought, and silently rose, sitting up and bending her sore back.

The sound of movement awoke Konatsu, who rubbed her eyes and yawned. She looked drowsily at Tanya. "Noori-sama?"

Yea, at's me she grumbled.

"NOORI-SAMA! You're okay!" Suddenly, Konatsu wrapped Tanya in a warm, caring, intense, and almost lung-crushing hug. "I was so worried!" said Konatsu tearfully. "Mother hit you with poison darts and I was afraid that... that..."

Tanya's brain was still in that odd sort of wake-up fog, and was trying to figure out exactly what was going on. There seemed to be quite a bit of crying going on. Yes, lots of that. Was she crying? No, seemed to be this other girl. Seems to be rather hard to breath too. Wonder why? Oh, we seem to be getting... what's the word...  
hugged? Yes, we're getting hugged. Rather tightly too. Who's hugging us? Oh, the girl.

THE GIRL?

Hugging was something alien to Tanya. Something left for the more genteel folk. A handshake or a pat in the back was just fine for her. None of this hugging nonsense. Her first reflex was th beat the hell out of Konatsu. But... no... that would feel as dirty as kicking a puppy, somehow.

"Er... Konatsu... hey..." said Tanya. She slowly and nervously pried herself out of the girl's arms. "Konatsu... you can... ah...  
let go now... I'm fine. Heyheyhey, let go now!"

After a hard tug or two later, Konatsu finally let go, and Tanya was looking at her as if she was bloody insane.

"Why are you so concerned? I'm not that weak," she said irritably.

"I'm sorry," said Konatsu timidly. "It's just that I... I wouldn't know how to survive on my own, and..."

Tanya took the moment to get up and stretch a bit.

"... and you just wouldn't wake up..."

Konatsu was saying something a bit quietly, but Tanya wasn't paying particular attention. She tended to let people talk if they were going to to be long-winded. The quicker they said what they had to say, the quicker they'd get to being quiet again, in her experience.

"... I... I know that this is wrong, this feeling I have..."

Not until she heard two peculiar words.

"... love you."

No, she thought, must've misheard that. She turned and looked down at Konatsu, who was still kneeling on the ground.

"What did you say?" asked Tanya.

"I... I ah," said Konatsu nervously, "I'm in love with you."

The gel was in LOVE with me! Oi mean, how's oi supposed to react to THAT, oi asks yew? hissed Tanya.

Oh my said King. That... must've been awkward.

Awkward? Sister, oi was totally besides meself! exclaimed Noori.

So, how'd you handle it? asked King.

"I... I... I but I'm... you're... aaaagh!" Aw bloody hell, oi REALLY don't need this!"

"Noori-sama?" asked Konatsu timidly.

L-look, you're a nice gel, I'm sure you'll find ye'self some opportunities out there, roight? She was trying to be nice about it,  
she really was. Until Konatsu bowed at her feet and started crying. And then...

Okay, so oi ran away. Yew got any better ideas? said Tanya impatiently.

If you don't mind me saying so, I think you could've handled that better said King.

Look, s'not like oi WANTED t'be a meanie, right? S'just...  
well... oi can't handle stuff like that! Just can't! Tanya sighed and finished off her tea, then stared at the bottom of her glass for a while. Refill, miss?

Coming right up. As King handed Tanya another glass, she asked,  
so that's what's bothering you now?

Partially... that. And she followed me trail all the way to this city. Oi just haven't an idear what to do, really.

Sit down with her and talk it over, maybe? asked King.

An'when was the last time ANYTHING was as simple as that? replied Tanya.

Good point.

Exactly.

Couldn't hurt to try, though.

Yeah, pull me other leg, s'got bells on it.

Nearby, concealed by the entertainment section of the Tokyo Press,  
Ryo grinned. It was funny what one could overhear just by lounging around. This Konatsu... she sounded like a rather fun new addition to the chess pieces of Nerima.

"Why are these things always wrong?" wondered Ryouga, looking at a map of Tokyo. He looked at the street, then the map, then the street again.

Nothing.

Had he known he wasn't in Tokyo, things would have made much more sense. The large forest bit should have been a hint to him that Tokyo was no longer a likely location, as well as the occasional [TOKYO 100KM] signs, but as was the Hibiki tradition, he failed to notice them. He did, however, notice that Tokyo seemed to be a bit smaller around here.

Across the street he spotted a bus stop and what seemed to be a trio of people waiting within its shade. Might as well ask, he reasoned, which way to Tokyo.

"Excuse me," he asked, "but do you know how to get to Tokyo?"

In a most hag-like, cackling voice, one of them replied. "There's always the bus, young man."

"Huh?"

"The bus. The one we are waiting for. It is bound for Tokyo."

"Oh, is it?" He quickly checked his pockets for bus fare, and to his relief, had some to spare.

Night.

Nice, unrevealing, shadow-filled night. What better time to go hunting for Hibiki? That was Tanya's line of thought as she once again patrolled the rooftops of Nerima. After a week of prowling around here, she'd finally started getting used to the place. Furinkan was a very important landmark, although the giant bronze pineapple resting at its top was an irritating reminder of a night she'd rather forget. After that was the Ono clinic. Unfortunately,  
also a reminder of things gone wrong. The third landmark she used to get her bearings was King's Cafe, with probably the only naturally speaking English speaking barkeep in town.

She had been lucky early in the day, managing to catch Ryouga and confront him, but Konatsu got in the way. Damn her! _Why_ did she have to show up, wondered Tanya, just when she'd finally tracked Ryouga down? The odds of her finding that directionally disabled fool again were not good. She descended down from a rooftop, sitting on a bench by the street, and watched the traffic flow by. *Sigh*.

As she stood up again, someone bumped in to her, knocking her off balance slightly. Jerk! she yelled.

"Oh," said the person, sounding distracted, "sorry about that." He went on his way, occasionally looking at a compass hung around his neck.

Tanya turned away, fuming. Then she froze.

Details of that stranger suddenly clicked.

Distracted. Lost. Compass. Headband. Fangs. Stupid look on his face.

HIBIKI.

"HIBIKI!" she roared, pulling out two rather wicked looking metallic things (technically, chimney soot scrapers, but 99 out of 100 people wouldn't have been able to guess that) and advanced upon him menacingly.

Ryouga turned around and sighed. It was that Noori girl, again. He still didn't _why_ she was mad at him, and it was getting on his nerves.

"What do you want?" he demanded. "Will you just tell me?"

Oi wanna kick yer bottom t'the bottom o'the Thames river, at's wot! ranted Tanya, lapsing into English.

"What? I don't understand," said Ryouga, getting into a defensive stance as she advanced menacingly.

Ask me of oi care, boyo.

"Noori-sama!"

Ryouga looked around, confused. Tanya stopped her menacing advance, and was now looking more irritated than angry.

Aw, bloody hell, not now Noori mumbled.

"Noori-sama! Please wait!" cried out Konatsu, approaching from the shadows. "Please don't leave me again!"

With a resigned sigh, Tanya faced Konatsu. "Look, Konatsu... I do not... we can't... NOT NOW!"

Meanwhile, Ryouga was beginning to wonder exactly what he was caught in the middle of. Seemed like one of those dramas Ukyou always watched on TV. He briefly contemplated sneaking away, but a determination to settle things once and for all kept him on the spot.

"I just don't know what to do," sobbed Konatsu. "I've... I've been strong so far, but... I need you. I don't have anywhere else to turn!"

Tanya seemed distinctly horrified. "But... but..." Oh bloody hell, we're both girls! Doesn't that bother ya a bit?!

Konatsu blinked. "Ano... was that English?"

Damn, she thought. Did it again. "I'M A GIRL! YOU'RE A GIRL! WE'RE BOTH GIRLS!"

Konatsu sighed, then looked down at her feet. "I... I know."

YOU KNOW?! yelled Tanya, lapsing into English again. Damndamndamndamn, damn this situation. Why couldn't Konatsu be a guy? Or meaner? Tanya'd feel much better about beating the hell out of a mean guy. But noooo, this was poor trampled-on Konatsu. Damn. Bloody hell. Panic was settling in, and Noori desperately looked for a way to end the situation without totally crushing Konatsu.

"I... ah... I..." said she, struggling not to lapse into English and looking around nervously. "I'm not THAT way... not..." Konatsu still seemed to be waiting on something. Drat. "Not that way and...  
and..." Gads, how to get rid of this girl?!

It should be said at this point that Ryouga really should have taken that previous moment to sneak off.

"I'm... ah... engaged to him!" said Tanya, grabbing Ryouga by the hand.

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" yelled Ryouga. He recieved a swift elbow and a mean glare from the chimneysweep in response.

"Shut up," grumbled Tanya.

"How did we-"

"Shutupshutupshutup."

"I..." said Konatsu sadly, "I see. Goodbye!" She turned away,  
tears flowing, and disappeared into the night. Tanya released Ryouga's arm and watched her bound into the distance.

Finally she was gone. Tanya breathed a sigh of relief, but a part of her felt rather guilty at the sight of Konatsu in such a sorry state. Damn. She hated feeling guilty.

There seemed to be something she was forgetting, but she wasn't sure... oh! Ryouga! The duel! Aha! She turned, weapons once again at the ready, and said, "Ryouga Hibiki, prepare to... to..." AAAAAAGH! WHERE'D HE GO?!

It was a lonely, lonely night.

For Konatsu, it was a bitterly lonely night.

For her entire life, she'd relied on other people. Stronger people. People with a _purpose_.

Her? She'd never really had a purpose in life. Father told her what to do, she did it. Mother told her what to do, she did it. Stepmother and her stepsisters told her what to do, she obeyed. But at least Father and Mother had loved her. Her stepmother... she didn't care at all. It was more like mere tolerance, as if Konatsu was an inconvenience. And that's how she saw herself. An inconvenience.

And then Noori-sama came along, and took her away from the pointless and empty life she had. Tanya thought she _was_ somebody. Noori _cared_ about her.

And then Konatsu ruined it all by opening her heart.

Noori-sama... rejected her.

She dabbled away the tears as they came, and tried to keep warm on the rooftop. The thin bed sheet draped over her was a makeshift blanket, but she might as well have been covered by paper.

"My my my," said a smooth, smug voice. "What have we here?"

Konatsu remained curled up on the roof. She didn't care who this intruder was, she'd lost her Noori-sama.

"Oh, do lighten up, Miss Konatsu. I do believe I can be of assistance."

How? she wondered.

"I can see you're upset... your dearest Noori-sama rejected you,  
yes?" asked the voice. Konatsu nodded sadly, covering her hands with her eyes. "Well, let me help you out," said the figure comfortingly as he casually twirled his umbrella. "Trust me."

Maybe it was cowardice. Maybe it wasn't. Whatever. Ryouga just wasn't in the mood to stick around for duels and such. He was also having a hard time with the concept that he was ENGAGED. How on earth did THAT happen? It wasn't a situation he wasn't used to, since he saw Ranma get himself engaged three times... but that was because Ranma was an idiot or his father was.

Father?

Ryouga briefly wondered about his own father. Would he do something as stupid as Genma Saotome would? No... no way. At least,  
he hoped not. He hadn't seen the man in twelve years, but hoped he was a good person.

Frowning, he brushed those thoughts aside and decided that getting home right how was all he needed to worry about.

He blinked.

Home. He was starting to think of Ucchans as home. Somehow, that seemed right. After all, he hadn't been home in a long while. He briefly wondered how his family was, hoping that they'd have a reunion someday. Maybe he could bring Ukyou. That'd be nice...

As he passed another street, he noticed a familiar landmark, the Seiko General Cinema. If he recalled correctly, Ucchan's was directly south of here... south... south... hm. He pulled out his compass necklace and checked, then headed (miraculously) south.

Hey, everyone gets lucky sometimes.

"I'm back!" called out Ryouga as he entered the now empty restaurant. He slowed to a halt as soon as Ukyou's glare hit him. "Er... aheh... sorry I'm late."

Ukyou looked a bit upset, but a part of her was quite happy. Not entirely because Ryouga finally came back, no. Part of this happiness was rather mischievous, and wanted to have some fun _now_.

"Oh, he's sorry he's late," she said quietly, and in a somewhat irritated mood. "Mm-hmm."

"So... ah..." he said, feeling he was on really shakey ground here.

"Good timing too," she added.

"Huh?"

"After all the crowds are gone, after the big rush, after all the hard work is done, you're back," she said, smirking.

"Hey, I _tried_ to get back as soon as I could!"

Suddenly, she smiled. It was a happy smile. It really threw him off balance. "That's okay, sugar," she said, "'cause you've got dishwashing duty tonite."

"But..." He hated dishwashing duty. Really hated it. Mostly because his curse and the occasional switch in water temperature due to the odd plumbing made for a really irritating time. Usually,  
dishwashing duty was determined by a game of poker.

Usually.

"No ifs ands or buts, Ryouga," said Ukyou. "Go ahead and get a little rest first, if ya want, but you _are_ washing dishes tonite."

"Ever thought of just switching to disposable dishes?" wondered Ryouga.

"Idiot!" she chastised. "I'd end up looking cheap! Anyways, if ya need anything, I'll be upstairs watching tv. Seeya!" With a smirk and a laugh, she went upstairs, leaving him to stare at the large pile of dishes.

"No way..."

Ryouga looked at his watch.

One in the morning.

Not bad. Not bad at all. It'd taken only an hour to get to his room. He shuffled to his bed, noticing that it seemed to have been tidied up a little. Hm. Ukyou must have done that... gotta thank her some time for doing that. Without further adieu, he collapsed into his bed, and was soon sound asleep.

And a moment later, the window opened silently. A figure in black crept into the room with the stealth of the legendary ninjas and stood above Ryouga with the intent to Hurt.

Konatsu looked down upon her nemesis, frowning as indecision assaulted her mind. He said her that Tanya didn't really love this Ryouga Hibiki, but he was forcing her instead. If that was true, then Konatsu would be helping her, wouldn't she? But... what if she really did love him? It would break Noori-sama's heart surely, and she'd never forgive Konatsu.

Ever.

A cold breeze swept through the room, causing Konatsu to shiver and Ryouga to pull the covers over himself a bit more. She moved quickly to close the window and sighed as she stared out at the moon. Things were never easy.

Is that a futon? A real futon? Wow, I've never been so close to one before...

This, he knew was impossible.

Or highly unlikely anyways.

Therefore, it was probably a dream. Might as well enjoy it, then.

"Oh, Ryouga..." sighed Ukyou, laying next to him in his bed.

"U-Ukyou?"

"Hold me," she whispered, sliding into bed next to him.

Well, reasoned a part of his mind, why not? He held her in his arms and his mind was reeling with the sensation of the scent of her hair, the softness of her skin, her breath on his chest as she cuddled next to him.

"Wake u... AAAH!"

Ryouga's eyes fluttered open, awakened by the scream. He wondered briefly who could have screamed. Maybe Ukyou? No, she was still in his arms. Couldn't be. Oh well, back to sleep.

But if Ukyou was in his arms, then why was she standing at his door? Ryouga's brain mulled this one over. It was quite a puzzler,  
really. Then his mind reminded him that no, Ukyou shouldn't be in his arms. THAT was just a dream. The hopeful part of his mind pointed out that Ukyou had long, dark hair in a ponytail, and the girl in his arms had one too. Therefore Ukyou WAS in his arms.

Okay, said the rational (and underused) part of his mind, then explain the (now definitely irate) Ukyou standing in our doorway.

Right then. Not good. It'd be best to fully wake up.

He never got the chance.

"YOU PERVERT!" bellowed Ukyou, whipping out her battle spatula and knocking him through the roof in one swift motion. The nerve of that man! Bringing in his girlfriends and doing who-knows-what under HER roof! "Oooh, that jerk!"

She turned away from the new Ryouga-shaped skylight in the roof and was about to stomp back downstairs, when a rather feminine voice said nervously, "Ah, did I cause trouble by being here? I'm very sorry."

Ukyou turned her attention to the girl in Ryouga's bed, frowning. "And you are...?"

"Kenzan Konatsu," said the ninjaette, bowing politely.

"Ah. Hope you don't mind me asking, but..."

"Man, you look bad today, Ryouga," said Ranma as he, Ryouga, and several others sat down in the schoolyard for lunch.

"Shut up," grumbled Ryouga.

"Hey, Ryouga," said Hiroshi, "we heard a rumor about you."

"What?"

"Yeah," said Daisuke, "heard you got a fiancee. Is that true?"

"No way!" denied Ryouga vehemently.

"Why Ryouga, you sly pig you," teased Ranma, elbowing him slightly.

"SHUT UP RANMA! It's not like that!" While Ranma smirked and the other boys talked amongst themselves, Ryouga looked around nervously for Ukyou. He _really_ hoped that she hadn't heard yet.

Then he spotted her, with Akane and several other girls. Talking.

Uh oh. Too late.

"He WHAT?" yelled Ukyou.

"Yeah, heard about it yesterday," said Sayuri.

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" said Yuka.

"I'm sure it's a misunderstanding," said Akane, "right, Ukyou?"

"Hrmph. I don't care what that pervert playboy does," she said,  
frowning. For a moment, she glanced at Ryouga sadly, then scowled and looked away when he met her gaze. So, that Noori girl WAS his fiancee. The jerk, why'd he go and get himself engaged?! She felt bitterly alone at that moment. After all, she was the last of the 'old gang' to be left single. Mousse won Shampoo, literally, and Ranchan had Akane. "That jerk," she muttered under her breath.

Okay, a part of her reasoned, maybe it was a big misunderstanding. After all, this morning turned out to be a misunderstanding too. As it turned out, Konatsu was there to confront Ryouga. Something about honor, freedom, and that Noori girl. Ukyou was still fuming mad at Ryouga, so only part of her words got through, but at least Konatsu clearly stated she wasn't interested in Ryouga. Of course, it still didn't explain what she was doing in his bed, but at the moment Ukyou didn't insist on an answer to that question.

But that still doesn't explain the fiancee business.

Ukyou gave Ryouga one more venomous glare, then resumed eating her lunch.

"Oh man," said Ranma, "she's definitely mad at you."

"Shutupshutupshutup," growled Ryouga.

"Jeez, Ryouga, how'd you get yourself into this mess?" wondered Ranma. "I mean, most of my problems was caused by the old man, but you? I don't remember your dad being as stupid as mine."

"Whatever's going on, I swear, it isn't my fault!" insisted Ryouga.

"HIBIKI!"

Ryouga paled. Ukyou scowled. The rest of Furinkan High swarmed to the action. After all, they could smell a good fight a mile away.

In the middle of the schoolyard, a sooty chimneysweep armed with a steel-wire brooom advanced menacingly towards.

"Hey, it's your fiancee," said Ranma smugly. He was enjoying this possibly too much. It was nice to see someone else get this sort of mess, especially Ryouga.

*WHAM* "SHUT UP!" Ryouga scowled and reached for his umbrella,  
while Ranma slid down to the ground, wincing from the elbow Ryouga nailed him with.

Ryouga didn't like fighting women. Sparring? Sure. Fighting? No. He would if he had to, but it just didn't strike him as an honorable thing to do. But at the rate this irate gaijin was going,  
never explaining herself and spreading lies, he was reaching his limit.

Off in the distance, unnoticed by the crowd, a large mass of women,  
dangerously armed, sped towards the courtyard, in pursuit of their personal belongings. Unfortunately for them, their target had a sizeable lead. Ranma sensed him a few seconds before he arrived, but Ryouga, Tanya, and the large crowd watching them failed to notice until they heard the old master's victory cry of...

"Sweeto!"

The miniscule pervert plowed over Ryouga effortlessly, then suddenly came to a halt next to Tanya and looked her over with curiosity. Noori, also puzzled, looked over the miniscule menace, not sure what to make of it.

"Who are you?" she asked, leaning down at him.

"Don't mind me, just passing through," said the little letcher. "By the way, my compliments on your taste. Very silky, these," he said, while holding up a bra.

Noori blinked. It _did_ seem kind of breezy all of the sudden, and that bra looked kind of familiar...

No... he couldn't av... A quick self-check proved otherwise, and Noori suddenly turned red with rage and fixated her fury on one small pervert. "YOU DIE!" She swung her broom around furiously, swiping at the old man. His speed and dexterity baffled her, as he managed to dodge all of her strikes effortlessly.

Meanwhile, Ryouga was wondering what he ought to do. Interrupting might be a good idea. After all, everyone took their turn beating up Happosai, or at least trying to. Ryouga's mind was quickly made up when Happy used his face as a springboard while dodging Tanya's attacks.

"Whoa, look out there, sonny!" called out Happosai as he bounced away.

"HEY YOU!" bellowed Ryouga. He quickly flung a bandanna at the old master, which was dodged easily. However, the soot bomb aimed at his face caught him perfectly and he was quickly gagging on ebony smoke.

"Oww... *kaff* gettin' a bit crowded around here," croaked the letch.

From Furinkan's rooftop, a shadowy figure watched with concern. "Noori-sama," she whispered.

"What's going on out there?" asked Nabiki. She approached her henchwomen, who were looking out the window at the moment and down at the courtyard.

"Martial arts fight," said one.

"And I missed the start?" sighed Nabiki. "Oh well, a missed opportunity, but not a loss. It isn't all bad. "So, who's involved?"

"That old letch Happosai, Ryouga, and his fiancee."

Nabiki's eyebrow raised. "Ryouga's fiancee?"

"According to the grapevine, yeah. Some gaijin girl from London waving around a broom."

Nabiki's mind flipped through the known martial artists of the district, and pulled out one recent entry into her database.

"Tanya Noori?" she wondered.

"Something like that."

"Strange days," said Nabiki, shaking her head. "So how's the fight going?"

"Can't be sure," said one of the girls. "Noori keeps on bombing the place with soot bombs. The only thing we've seen is a few bandannas flying out."

"Say, how's public opinion on this fiancee business?" asked Nabiki.

"80% of Furinkan doesn't buy it. They figure there's no way Ryouga could possibly ever get a fiancee. Not like her, anyways."

"And our other little Ryouga betting pool?" wondered Nabiki.

"Everyone's spread out on that one, chief. Personally, I'm putting my money on eight months."

"That'd be a good guess," reasoned Nabiki. "After all, him and Ukyou are acting like Ranma and Akane already. It's only a matter of time..."

"What's your guess, boss?"

Nabiki looked down at the soot cloud with amusement. "Knowing how volatile Ukyou and Ryouga are... eight months does sound good."

"Whoa," said one of the girls looking out from the window, "new entry into the fray. Just jumped into the big soot cloud from one of the rooftops."

"Oh? One of the locals or someone new?" asked Nabiki.

"This one... definitely new."

Everyone murmered in surprise, as a female ninja joined in the fray, diving in from the top of Furinkan and into the cloud of soot.  
Mutterings and whispers of 'wow, did you see that girl?', 'You think Ryouga's got himself a harem?' and 'I can't see a thing in that cloud,  
this sucks' rippled through the crowd. They were wondering just who this new and late entry into the day's festivities was and how she was connected to things.

"Say... that's the girl that was in Ryouga's bed this morning," Ukyou muttered. She wondered what, exactly, was going on now. Unfortunately, people around her overheard her comment and the rumor mill spread the news like a wildfire.

"Ryouga got caught in bed with..."

"What's that? Ryouga's mistress?"

"Ryouga has a mistress?"

"Hey, didja hear? Ryouga's got these two girls..."

"Wow, I can't believe Ryouga got someone pregnant."

Meanwhile, within the walls of Furinkan, the whispers spread. One girl ran up to Nabiki and whispered the news in her ear.

"You have _got_ to be kidding," she said.

The girl shook her head.

"Let me get this straight... Ryouga is in a love triangle with the ninja girl and the gaijin, and now they're both after him because he's trying to run off and he got them both pregnant?"

"That's what's on the grapevine."

"I haven't heard anything so ridiculous since... well... since Ranma was in that reversal jewel mess. Oh my."

Old masters of The Art should not, felt Happosai, end up in this sort of situation. He was getting beaten, kicked, shoved, and whapped all over the place in general, and that was not to his liking at all.

Of course, there was a real quick way to de-fuse the situation that he knew of, and that involved lighting lots of fuses.

No pun intended, of course.

Ryouga, still wading through the thick cloud of soot, felt something hit his foot. Then, as he waded further, he stumbled on a few other things lying around on the ground. Something was nagging at him that this was a Bad Thing, but he wasn't sure entirely why until he finally heard the distinct sound of fuses burning.

And with Happosai in the fight, that could only mean...

"Oh no."

The students of Furinkan were familiar with Happosai. After all,  
he'd been regularly raiding the girl's locker rooms for several months now. They knew when he'd probably strike, where he'd probably strike, and when things were ready to get ugly.

At the moment, the big hint of the day as far as impending danger was concerned was a few small bomb-like objects that rolled out from the soot cloud.

Hiroshi was the first to notice, and sounded off the alert.

"BOMB! DUCK AND COVER!"

Students everywhere scattered, diving for cover. The ones watching from within the building quickly moved away from the windows.

-BOOM-

The earth rattled, a few windows cracked, and the sound of thunder rattled through the neighborhood. When the debris settled, everyone peered carefully at the scene of the fight.

Happosai, apparently, didn't manage to get away in time. He was amongst the victims at the blast center, rattled witless by the blast and looking like a smudge on the ground. Ryouga had become one with the trees, in a painful sort of way.

In a nearby wall, Tanya Noori was firmly planted, with Konatsu on top of her, flung by the force of the bombs. She was hurt mostly by the impact with the wall, spared from the force of the blast by Konatsu, who had apparently shielded Tanya with her own body. Being the least injured by the blast, Tanya rose slowly, lowering Konatsu down carefully.

*Aw, ye stupid gel, y'din't havta dew that... naw look at ye,* she said, with some irritation but also some worry. *Oy, yew alroight? Konatsu, c'mon, gel, wakey wak... ah... wot the bloody hell is this?*  
She stared at Konatsu's shirt, which was now torn open due to the blast, and reached a conclusion. Either Konatsu was really really really flat-chested, or Konatsu was a man.

... or Konatsu was a man?

Tanya frowned. Then she examined Konatsu's throat _carefully_.

Yup. Adam's apple.

*KONATSU Y'BLOODY PERVERT!* If she hadn't been feeling so sore from the explosions, she would have killed him. Instead, she passed out.

A lean figure emerged from the shadows of Furinkan High's rooftop,  
idly spinning an umbrella. He looked down at the mess below and sighed.

"Not bad... but Konatsu didn't go far enough with Tanya."

Ryo sighed. People these days... you just can't count on them to be manipulated properly.

Oh well, at least it was all entertaining.

Furinkan High Infirmiry, two hours later.

"Hey, sugar, looks like you're still alive after all."

Ryouga groaned. This was the third time he got caught up in that little freak's bombs, and it was an incredibly unpleasant experience every time.

"Hi... Ukyou... how long've I..."

"About two hours. How ya feeling?"

"Been... worse."

"Heh. Nurses say all you guys just got mild bruises. Surprising,  
when you think about the size of that crater Happosai made."

"Where... is..."

"The pervert? Ranma came by and picked'em up."

"Oh... good."

"You'd better get well soon, sugar, 'cause I don't think you're gonna like your roommates."

"Roommates?" Ryouga struggled to lift his ringing head, and strained to look around. There, in the next bed, was Tanya Noori. Fortunately unconscious. Beyond her was Konatsu, also unconscious.

"I wanna go home. Now."

Much to her irritation, by the time she'd been revived, Ryouga had managed to run from her once more. The jerk. What's worse, she was now stuck in the infirmiry with that... that... that crossdressing pervert! She felt she ought to give Konatsu a solid whap on the noggin for THAT little secret. Then she wondered why she was holding back.

She whapped him.

"Ooow..." The cross-dressing ninja sleepily blinked his eyes,  
looking alarmingly (when you consider Konatsu is a HE) beautiful as he awoke. "Noori-sama... are you okay?"

"I am fine," replied Tanya with a menacing tone, "now explain yourself."

Konatsu sat up slowly, still looking disoriented. "Explain...  
what?"

"YOU'RE A MAN!" bellowed Tanya.

Konatsu frowned. "No I'm not. I'm a girl."

"You are a MAN! Look at your body!"

"Well... stepmother said I was just unusual. I'm still a girl,  
though."

*Ya bloody cross-dressing pervert! You are, without a bleedin'doubt, a MAAAAN!*

"Ano... Noori-sama..."

*WHAAAT?!*

"Could you say that again, in Japanese? My English isn't too good."

"AAAAAAAGH!"

Meanwhile, at Ucchan's...

"They were saying WHAT?!"

"That's the rumor that WAS flying around, sugar. Although, now that everyone knows Konatsu's a guy, it's kinda changed."

"Changed? I... ah... do I really want to know?"

Ukyou smiled. Ryouga paled.

"You're now not only the father of Noori's child, but apparently you've been having a bi-sexual love triangle with Noori's cross-dressing boyfriend."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

-end part 11-  



	13. Friends and Lovers

He was lost.

To those familiar with Nerima, that phrase was usually associated with one man.

That man would argue that it wasn't entirely true and that the reputation was a little unfairly blown out of proportion.

As he stared at the Arc de Triomphe, he admitted to himself that there were some days that he was every bit as bad as his reputation claimed he was.

Oh well. Time to dig out the foreign language guidebooks.

"Excusez me, er, moi, kell... er, quel chemise... er... quel chemin to, er, a Tokyo?

======================== The Pursuit of Happiness Act 1 Part 12 Friends and Lovers ============================

"So, he's lost again, huh?" asked Yuka.

"Are you really that surprised?" responded Ukyou, sighing.

"You guys, you're a little to harsh on Ryouga sometimes," said Akane.

"You don't know him like I know him," muttered Ukyou. She realized too late that the word choice was incredibly bad.

"So, what's THAT sup-" started Nabiki, grinning.

"Don't even start," growled Ukyou.

"Say," said Yuka, "where's Akari? I haven't seen her today."

"Said she was visiting her ailing grandfather, I think," said Nabiki. "Won't be back for a day or two."

Akari was happy.

Somewhat.

It was always a joy to come home to the sumo pig farm. This, all of it, was the life she felt was meant for her, being the 108th generation of Unryuu Sumo Pig ranchers. She was, in her own words,  
happy as a pig about it.

Well, she tried to tell herself that anyways.

"So, granddaughter, things go well, I presusume?" asked her grandfather, lying down in his futon as he always did.

"Yes, grandfather."

"And... this boy of yours... where is he now?"

Akari sighed. She did so wish her grandfather would approve, but so far he seemed skeptical. "Grandfather, I told you, he said he couldn't come because he had some things to take care of."

"I don't know about that boy," said her grandfather. "He doesn't look very strong."

"Please, grandfather, give him a chance?"

"Very well, Akari-chan... but I still think you could do better."

For the rest of the day, Akari went through the motions of tending to the sumo pig farm as best as she could. Normally, this brought a smile to her face, but today it managed only to numb her troubled mind.

She'd hoped to make her grandfather happy. Akari loved him dearly and would do almost anything he asked. Unfortunately, he wasn't happy and she didn't know how to resolve the situation. After she was done with all her chores, she sat upon the fence of the pig pens, watching the sun go down, and thought her situation over.

Ryo wasn't helping. She was surprised that he refused to go with her repeatedly. Akari was also beginning to wonder about him, and the talk from everyone at school wasn't easing her fears either. And it was more than that. Sometimes, he seemed... distracted by something. Whatever it was, he refused to tell her. And he'd never discuss his personal life either, quickly changing the topic.

No... he really does care for me, I think.

Besides, he knocked out her pig (although in an incredibly odd manner), and that was a sign from above that he was the one, right?

"BWEEE!" -WHAM-

Akari was jolted out of her thoughts as she heard the distinct 'bwee' of Katsunishiki. Was he fighting again? Sometimes she thought that pig was a little too violent for its own good. She really hoped he didn't rampage and tear down the local village again.

"Stupid pig, CUT THAT OUT!"

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*

The day wasn't getting better for Ryouga. The French were bad enough. This stupidly huge pig that was picking a fight was almost as annoying. Fortunately, he could deal with the pig in a way that suited him well, which happened to be repeated blows to the head until source of aggrivation was rendered unconscious.

"Katsunishiki!"

Uh oh. Hope that's not the owner.

"I'm sorry! Your pig just attacked... me. Um, Akari Unryuu?"

Akari blinked. "Hibiki-san? What are you doing on my grandfather's ranch?"

"Well, I'm... kinda lost," he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "I'm... on your grandfather's ranch?"

Akari nodded.

"I could've sworn I was in France a minute ago," he muttered.

"Well, we're nowhere near France," said Akari. Was THIS the rumored 'Ryouga Hibiki Utter Lack of Sense Of Direction' she was witnessing? She heard rumors, but she never thought...

"Ryouga, are you lost?" she asked.

"Well, aheheh... yeah."

"If you don't mind staying overnight, you can come with me back to Tokyo tomorrow."

"I don't want to inconvenience you," said Ryouga.

"Oh, no, it's no problem. Don't worry, we've even got guest rooms here," said Akari. "Come on, it's this way."

Akari took the lead and began the walk back to the ranch. After only a few steps, she checked behind her and sure enough, Ryouga was drifting a bit in the wrong direction.

She couldn't help but giggle. So, it was true after all. His sense of direction was _really_ bad.

"Come on, Ryouga, this way," she said, taking him by the hand.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Grandfather Unryuu peeped out of the window with his telescope,  
spying upon the scene in the distance. This, he thought, could be interesting.

Oil the grill. Wait. Carefully, put on the ingredients.

Listen to the sizzle.

Aaah.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" asked Ranma, snapping the peaceful trance Ukyou had fallen into.

"Hey, I ran this place alone before, I can do it any time," said Ukyou casually. "Besides, it isn't even that busy right now." She was right, the rush hour was over and there were only a handful of customers left.

Ranma eyed his friend suspiciously. "Y'know, you used to get so annoyed when he got lost."

Ukyou shrugged. "Maybe I'm just used to it by now."

"Maybe you've gotten used to him?" suggested Ranma.

"Hmm. Accustomed to him?" said Ukyou, idly brushing sauce on an okonomiyaki. "reminds me of a song I heard once."

"Why Ucchan, you gonna start singing?" teased Ranma. "Never heard ya sing before."

"And you're crazy if you think I'm gonna sing now," said Ukyou,  
sticking her tongue at him.

"Well... Akane's expecting me back," said Ranma. He sighed, stood up, and began walking out the door like a man walking on death row.

She knew what that meant.

"Hey, come on, don't tell me she's still a bad cook!" said Ukyou.

Ranma paused. "Well... she's getting better with Japanese, and her American isn't too bad..."

"And?" said Ukyou.

"Well... y'see... she's gonna try Mexican food tonight."

"Never tried it before?" asked Ukyou.

"Nope."

"Uh oh. Well, good luck, Ranchan." She patted her friend on the back, as if saying 'oh well, that's life'.

As soon as she was sure he left, she very quietly sang to herself...

o/" But I'm so used to hear him say o/" o/" 'good morning' every day o/" o/" His joys, his woes o/" o/" his highs, his lows o/" o/" are second nature to me now... o/" o/" like breathing out and breathing in o/"

She paused, taking time to look at the finished okonomiyaki on her grill. It surprised her to see that she'd subonsciously painted a bandanna-clad face with fangs on it. She couldn't help but smile a little and feel really embarrased.

o/" I've grown accustomed to the trace... o/" o/" of something in the air o/"

She was really glad Ranma wasn't there to see that. Ukyou was afraid he'd think she was on love or something, and that wasn't the case, right?

Of course not, she told herself.

o/" Accustomed... to his... face. o/"

*ACHOO!*

"Are you okay, Ryouga?" asked Akari with genuine concern.

"I'm okay. Guess I just need a little rest."

They walked towards the house, Akari with Ryouga in tow. He had to admit, she had a rather nice house here. Out in the country like this, he guessed it must be a pleasant place to stay in during the holidays.

"Nice house," he summarized.

"Thanks. It's been in the family for generations," she replied as they made their way into the house.

All that was left was to guide Ryouga to the guest room.

However, they had happened to come across Akari's grandfather first.

"Akari, you didn't introduce me to this young gentleman," he said,  
walking slowly down the hall.

"Grandfather, you shouldn't be walking around too much," gently chided Akari. "You should worry more about your health!"

"Oh, I'll be alright, Akari-chan, I just wish to meet the interesting boy who had just beaten Katsunishiki... and is now holding your hand," replied Grandfather with an amused tone.

They had been holding hands all this time.

And apparently, they'd forgotten about it.

Hands quickly disconnected as both blushed badly. Ryouga laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head while Akari tried to explain things.

"Grandfather, it's not what you think!"

"That's okay, granddaughter," said the smiling senior citizen,  
"just as long as the both of you... get along well."

"Grandfather!"

"Just teasing, Akari-chan. I'll go back to bed now." With a wink and a smile, Akari's grandfather retreated to his quarters, leaving a pair of blushing and embarrased teens.

"Um... sorry about that," said Akari. "Grandfather likes to tease sometimes. Come on, the guest room isn't too much futher."

"Aheh... okay." Ryouga gave a small, nervous little smile. For some odd reason, the compass necklass he wore felt a little uncomfortable.

Rest did not come easy to Ryouga.

Somehow, everything in the house became magnified by his senses. The moonlight blazed through his window. The breeze hummed constantly. Somewhere in the house, there was a really really really loud clock.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

He tossed and turned in his futon, scowling now and then, and finally gave up on sleep. He decided that a glass of water and some fresh air would be just what he needed.

It took thirty minutes to get the water, and another 45 to find that fresh air.

"Why'd they put the front door so far away from everywhere?" muttered Ryouga as he opened the door.

"Front door? This is the porch."

"GAH!"

"Sorry, did I startle you?" asked Akari, trying to stifle some giggles.

"Akari... what are you doing out here?" asked Ryouga.

"I couldn't sleep, so I just went here to look at the stars for a little while. And you?" asked Akari.

"Same thing, I guess," said Ryouga. "The view of the stars in the countryside is a lot better than in the city."

"The sky just seems so... so..." said Akari, searching for the right words.

"Bright," said Ryouga.

"Beautiful," said Akari.

"Yeah, that too."

The two lapsed into silence for a few minutes, both seated on lawn chairs and looking up into the skies.

"It's kind of strange..." said Akari, hesitating.

"What is?" asked Ryouga.

"Well... when we first met, I was single and you had someone. And now, you're single and I have someone."

"Yeah, I guess," said Ryogua quietly.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

Ryouga shrugged. He couldn't think of anything he'd be embarrased about answering, but that was probably due to a lack of imagination.

"Why did you break up with Ryoko?"

Ryouga sighed. "That... was all one big misunderstanding."

"How so?" wondered Akari.

"Well... I meant to clear things up earlier, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings." He sighed again. "I wasn't brave enough to end things quickly."

"Oh, I see."

They allowed silence to take over the night once more as nature's impressive display of the heavens glowed high above them. It couldn't last long.

"Can I ask you another question?" wondered Akari. "If you don't mind, I mean."

Ryouga shrugged again. He wasn't entirely sure what was causing his restlessness that night, but he certainly felt like talking wouldn't hurt.

"Ryoko told me you were... in love with someone before?"

Ryouga nodded.

"Who was she?"

"Hm..."

"If you don't want to answer, I'll understand."

He normally wouldn't answer this question. But... somehow he just didn't feel like holding things in tonight. Too stressful, really.

"Promise to keep a secret?" he asked.

"I promise!" she said gleefully.

"It was... Akane."

Akari could only react with a moment of silence. Then another moment.

Finally, she said, "wow."

"But," continued Ryouga, "I think... I'm getting over her now."

"Does Akane know?" Akari queried.

"No! Ah, no, and I'd rather keep it that way."

"Is that why you and Ranma fight all the time?"

Ryouga scowled. "No, we just fight because he's a jerk."

The Milky Way always was a soothing sight for Ukyou, even in the city where the bright lights turned the normally dark skies and brilliant stars into a bluish haze with a dim curtain of lights.

She'd been doing a lot more stargazing lately, and she wasn't sure why.

Well, for one thing, the peace and tranquility were always nice. Being alone with her thoughts up here was always something she liked.

"Excuse me..."

"GAAAAH!"

*CLAAAAAAANG*

After calming down, Ukyou finally saw who it was that she'd spatulated.

There, on her roof, resembling a bug that had been swatted, was Konatsu the Kunoichi.

"Hey, you alright?" she asked, gently prodding him.

"Oww... I'm okay... I think."

"Sorry about that," she said sheepishly, "but you kinda startled me."

"I'll remember not to do that again," Konatsu said, rubbing his head.

"What're you doing around here anyways?" Ukyou queried.

"I just finished a job for Noori-sama and was trying to find my way back to her," said Konatsu.

"Job? What kind of job?" asked Ukyou. She suspected the gaijin was up to no good.

"Oh, just cleaning air duct systems. I just finished the one in the Toshiba Towers."

"Cleaning air duct systems?"

"Well, you see, air conditioning systems nowadays are really large networks of tunnels. Often, these tunnels get dirty, or even clogged with fungus or dust. That's where Noori-sama and I come in." Konatsu smiled proudly at that point. The whole presentation was what Noori would normally tell a potential customer, but she'd managed to memorize it too.

"So, she's letting you hang around her? After the way she reacted after she found out you were a guy-"

"I'm not a guy," said Konatsu matter-of-factly.

"Yes you are," said Ukyou, slightly irritated.

"No I'm not," calmly retorted Konatsu.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you... oh, never mind," said Ukyou. Some people were strange beyond help, and Ukyou decided Konatsu was one of them. "So... as I was saying... Noori's your boss now? That's more than I expected of her."

"Tanya is really kind and sweet," said Konatsu, putting on big starry eyes. "You just have to look past the gruff, violent exterior."

"Uh huh. So... you're lost?"

"Yes, well, somewhat."

"Somewhat?"

"I _think_ I know where Noori-sama is, so I'm not really sure if that's the right direction, but I think I want to go to the Niyoma towers."

"May I ask why, exactly, don't you know where your boss is?" asked Ukyou.

"Well, it's part of my training, she said," explained Konatsu. "Every night, she stays in a different rooftop and it's up to me to find her. It's a fun game!"

"Game. Right. Whatever." Ukyou frowned. Definitely beyond help,  
this one. "Lemme ask you, _why_ are you so devoted to Noori? I've seen how she treats you."

"She doesn't treat me that bad at all, really," assured Konatsu. "As I said, she just has a really violent and grouchy exterior."

"You sure?" asked Ukyou with much doubt.

"Absolutely!"

"Hrm. Well... whatever makes ya happy." Ukyou looked around the skyline, thinking for a moment. "The Niyoma towers are... over there,  
I think," she said, pointing in a northern direction."

"Ah, okay, thank you very much," said Konatsu. He prepared to spring away, then hesitated. "Um... is something bothering you?" he asked cautiously.

"Who, me?" she asked in a slightly irritated tone. "Why do you ask?"

"It just seems that something's bothering you," said Konatsu softly.

"I... well... it's..." Ukyou didn't know quite how to put it,  
really.

"It's about a boy, isn't it?" guessed Konatsu.

Ukyou couldn't hide the blush. "H-how'd you know?"

"My older step-sister used to get that way sometimes."

"Oh. Well... it's about a boy... I guess." She took a deep breath and leaned out towards a stretch of city lights. "He's out there,  
somewhere, and I'm missing him a lot more than I think I should."

"Is there a reason why you shouldn't?" wondered Konatsu.

"Well, he's my friend."

Konatsu blinked.

"He's my friend," continued Ukyou, "but I think... I think I'm feeling a little more than friendship for him."

Konatsu smiled. "My, that sounds sweet."

"Yeah, well, the last time I fell for a friend I had my heart broken. I don't need that again. I don't WANT that again."

"Well, sometimes you just have to trust your heart," said Konatsu.

"You make it sound easy," said Ukyou.

"Sometimes it is, but it doesn't seem like it."

"I'll... keep that in mind," replied Ukyou.

"Oh my. I really have to be going now..."

"Wait! Wait!" yelled Ukyou, just before the ninja jumped away.

"Hm?"

"Do you know why Noori hates Ryouga so much?" asked Ukyou.

"Not really," said Konatsu. "I asked her once and she began to explain something about a dojo, then she started ranting and raving in English. I couldn't understand a thing."

"Strange. Did the same thing to me too."

"Oh well. Good night," said Konatsu. Then with a sly wink he finished, "And good luck with your man!"

"He's not my man!" yelled Ukyou defiantly, but the kunoichi was already gone. "Not my man..."

"So, is there someone you like now?" asked Akari. She then winced,  
remembering her manners. "Oh, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay," said Ryouga. "Actually... there is a girl I like... I think."

"Does she know how you feel?"

"Well... no... not yet," he said, closing his eyes. "I just don't... I... I guess I'm scared she won't feel the same."

"But if you don't tell her, you'll never know," advised Akari.

"I know, I know!" replied Ryouga with much frustration. "It's just that... if she breaks my heart... I... I... I JUST WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT!"

"Um... Ryouga... are you okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, why?"

"You just crushed your glass."

"Oh. Aheheh... sorry about that."

It was at an isolated pier by the bay where three rogues met. Two were rogues by necessity, one by choice.

Ryo Muhoshin stood at the tip of the pier, thoroughly enjoying the weather, while a fellow armed with a chair and one armed with a shovel lounged nearby.

"It's been quite a while now," said one, "are you SURE you still want to take this course of action?"

Ryo nodded. "Eventually, I will. For now... we wait."

"Actually, I was hoping you'd let us quit this operation," muttered one.

"What was that?" asked Ryo icily.

"Well... I mean... it seems you've become fond of the girl and we thought you wouldn't-"

"Fond?" wondered Ryo. His back was turned from them. His voice and movements were entirely unreadable.

"Well, yeah, fond... y'know... we thought you liked the girl."

"You thought... I -liked- her?" asked Ryo. There was a definite menace in his voice.

"W-well, yeah," stuttered one of them. "And maybe you'd just live offa her for the rest of your-"

Ryo turned around suddenly, a look of angry insanity in his eyes. "Oh YES I like her," he said sarcastically, "I LIKE her! I LIKE the way she's ridiculously cute about things. I'm about to DIE FROM DIABETES! I LIKE the way she has this annoying inclination for pink and frilly things! It leaves me feeling SO pleasantly ILL! I LIKE how she ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT and even COMPARES everything INCLUDING ME to PIGS!"

"H-hey, calm down, we were only wondering-" said one of them. To Ryo it didn't really matter at this point.

"In fact, let me SHOW YOU how much I like her!"

In the blink of an eye, he grabbed them both by their shirts and heaved them into the bay.

He sighed, grumpily kicking a soda can away, and flopped down on his portable lounging chair.

"I like her," he said quietly to himself, shaking his head slowly. "Feh!"

A few minutes later he mutilated a passing seagull. It didn't help his mood a bit.

[The next day...]

There was a really annoying amount of sunlight.

Most people would call this sunrise.

Noori called it Bloody Hell I Wish I Had A Roof To Block It Out.

For the next five minutes, she felt an absolute lack of desire to move, and instinctively shuffled a bit to a more shadowy corner of the roof.

Unfortunately, something was in the way.

*Eh? Wozzisss...* she grumbled in English, opening one bleary eye.

*Oh. S'natsu.* Drat, she thought, the crossdresser made it again. She was HOPING he wouldn't, but... oh well. There were more effective ways to get rid of the pest, she knew (blunt yelling, abuse, and murder came to mind), but to her disgust she found she wasn't heartless enough to do them.

Getting soft, she scolded herself.

It wasn't that she LIKED the pervert, not in THAT way anyways. He was alright when he wasn't mooning over her, but his utter lack of self-esteem was maddening, as well as his need to be a follower. If Konatsu wasn't with her, she knew he'd end up back with her step-parents getting treated like a dog again.

She couldn't let that be either.

All in all, it was too much to think about for waking thoughts, so she decided to just pull the blanket over herself entirely and get a few more hour's worth of sleep.

"Noori-sama, wake up." Ah. That was Konatsu's gentle, rather femininine voice. It boggled her mind how much like a girl he was.

"No talk sleep," muttered Tanya.

"Noori-sama, we'll be late for the Capcom office job at nine."

"Konatsu, I sleep now. You bother again, I kill."

School came and went, much like a surrealistic play where melodramatic students, energy-blasting teachers, and a lunatic principal were the too-often-seen stars in an eternal re-run.

As one of the stars of the show, Ukyou was tired of it. She went through the motions of the day, going to this class and that, watching Ranma and Akane bicker a bit every now and then (which brought a bit of melancholy into her mood, but not as much as it used to), watching Kuno strutt and thunder like the prince that he was (in his own mind).

She didn't care to be there, really. However, if asked, Ukyou wouldn't be able to say why.

As a few stray clouds slowly made their way over Furinkan, Ukyou lounged around in the schoolyard and watched as Ranma and Akane bickered a little, paused to boot Kuno into the swimming pool, and went on their way.

She yawned as Miss Hinako blasted several rampaging members of the Sumo club that had sworn vengence on the Judo club for a percieved insult that had occurred a week ago.

She took a brief nap while Principal Kuno ran rampantly around with a pair of shears, obviously in the mood for some cutting.

Ho-hum.

"Hey, Ukyou, what're you still doing around here?"

*blink*

"Mm?" she opened her eyes, yawned, then stretched, much to (Hiroshi and Daisuke's delight as they eyed her chest). "Oh, guys I... what the heck happened to you two?!"

The duo winced. "Principal Kuno," they simply said, scratching their now ridiculously short hair.

"Just... try to ignore the haircut, please?" asked Hiroshi.

"Ah... right."

"Hey, you gonna be at Ranma's tonite?" asked Daisuke.

"Why? Another study group?"

"Actually, we're renting a couple of movies and playing poker,"  
said Hiroshi.

Ukyou frowned. "Why didn't Ranchan tell me this?"

"It was a last minute thing," said Daisuke. "He said he was gonna look for ya but I guess we saw you first."

"Oh. Well... got nothing better to do, I guess."

Talking to him was never easy.

Talking to him about this topic would be absolutely dangerous, and she didn't look forward to it. But she owed it to Akari, really. Couldn't stand by while her friend got hurt, could she?

"Hey, Ryo."

The eldest Muhoshin froze, irritated that he'd been interrupted from his kata. The whole point of practicing out in this park by the harbor was that he was _away_ from everyone else.

And now someone found him.

"Oh, hello sister of mine," he said with a tone of mild irritation.

"We need to talk," said Ryoko, grim determination staying on her face.

"Talk? Of what?"

"Akari."

"Oh. Her." Ryo looked out into the ocean, turning away from his sister. "What about her?"

"I want you to tell me what your intentions are."

"And why," he asked, "does this concern you?"

"She's my friend, and I don't want to see her hurt."

Still turned away from her, he cocked his head to the side and remained silent for a while. Then he responded.

"Too bad."

Ryoko growled, "Whaddayamean, too bad?!"

"Was ever woman in this humour woo'd? Was ever woman in this humour won? I'll have her; but I will not keep her long."

"Don't you dare hur-"

"Hurt her? Use her? Bleed the house of Unryuu till it's dry? She loves me, and loves me well, almost to a blind degree. Akari would NEVER believe her beloved would intend to bring her harm. She is devoted... to _me_."

Ryo suddenly turned around, cold menace in his eyes, and advanced on his sister in a slow and deliberate pace. "So... what I wonder,  
little sister, is WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT."

Ryoko's arms trembled as she took a step back. Her eyes burned with anger but the rest of her showed fear. "She's MY friend. If... if you hurt her..." Her brother scowled and turned his back to her. Ryoko spent another moment glaring at his back, then walked away.

[Ucchan's, nightfall]

"AAAAAAGH WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEE?!"

Of course, this was Ryouga.

What led his path here, to Ucchan's, as the sun disappeared in the sky, all by himself, was a small bit of luck, both good and bad.

The bad luck was that immediately after taking a train ride with Akari back to Nerima, he was seperated from her and immediately lost.

The good luck was that after six hours of wandering, he actually managed to find Ucchan's.

The problem after that was... he couldn't get in.

Ill tempered and brutally strong martial artists that want to get into a building usually do so in several manners:

1) a key. 2) an unlocked door. 3) an opened window. 4) knock till someone opens. 5) punch a hole in the place.

Going down the checklist for Ryouga sounded something like this:

1) Where'd that key go?! AAAAAAGH! 2) Stupid door! 3) Stupid window! 4) Ukyou! Hey! Open up! UKYOUUUUUUUU! 5) If I make a hole in the building again, she'll kill me.

And of course, by habit, there was this thought.

"RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

For once, he was somewhat right.

[Some hours later...]

It was, she had to admit, a very entertaining night.

There was a fairly moderate crowd that Ukyou felt comfortable with,  
the standard bunch of Ranma, the Tendo Three, Hiroshi, Daisuke,  
Sayuri, Yuka and Manami.

The bit with the movies was segregated between the boys and girls,  
as Jackie Chan and Audrey Hepburn didn't mix...

"Hey, what the heck is this?" Ranma.

"Shh! This is the bit where she wakes up to Gregory Peck!" snapped Hiroshi.

"I _love_ this bit!" said Daisuke.

"Who is she?" asked Ranma. "What is this?!"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Daisuke. "It's Audrey Hepburn in 'Roman Holiday'!"

"Why are we watching this?! Where's the Jackie Chan?!"

Hiroshi narrowed his eyes and glared at Ranma. "You got something against Audrey Hepburn?"

"Yeah, you sayin' you DON'T like Audrey Hepburn?" added Daisuke.

"Ah, um, no, not at all," replied Ranma hastily. "But hey man,  
where's all those Jackie Chan tapes?"

"Whaddaya think?" answered Hiroshi, "the girls got'em."

Ranma shook his head in disbelief.

My friends have been replaced by aliens.

He shook his head in disbelief and headed over to Akane's room,  
where they were sure to be watching the Jackie Chan stuff. That was put into doubt, however, when he heard the sounds of sniffling and mild crying from right outside the door...

*sniffle* "And now his master's leaving him!"

*snort*sniffle* "It's so saaaad!"

"Gets me crying every *sniffle* time. Where's the tissue?"

Ranma turned around immediately and headed back to his room. "Weirdos. They've all turned into weirdos. Ya don't cry watchin'  
Jackie Chan movies!"

Out of options, he sat with Hiroshi and Daisuke to watch Gregory Peck show Audrey Hepburn the best of Italy.

And so, after two more movies (both groups had gotten together to watch 'Drunken Master II' and 'Sabrina') and dinner, the group settled into a long session of poker and blackjack.

Everyone in general had an average game, except for a few people. Ranma, as usual, was miserable at it. Nabiki had hot and cold streaks.

In an attempt to get the ever-working Kasumi to relax, they convinced her to stay for a bit...

"Oh my, I have an ace, a king, a queen, a jack, and a ten," Kasumi whispered to Nabiki. "Is that good?"

Nabiki blinked. "What kind are they?"

"All hearts."

"Going to be one of _those_ nights, is it? How typical," muttered Nabiki. "Guys," she announced, "I fold."

When Nabiki quits a game, there's usually a reason. Unfortunately,  
nobody stopped to think about that.

[obscenely late at night...]

Out in the front gate of the Tendo grounds, two teens were lamenting their great loss.

"I don't believe I'm broke," muttered Ukyou. She stretched,  
yawned, and sighed. "And to Kasumi, of all people!"

"Who coulda guessed she was that good?" asked Ranma. "I got cleaned out too."

"Well," said Ukyou, stifling another yawn, "I guess I oughta head home."

"Hey, you okay?" asked Ranma. "Y'look really tired."

"Maybe I stayed here too long," replied Ukyou. "Still gotta open up in the morning."

"Hey, if you're really tired just stay with us," said Ranma. "You can take the guest room. Mr. Tendo won't mind."

"I'm *yawn* fine, just *yawn*..."

"C'mon, Ucchan, don't go out there at night half-asleep. It's dangerous."

"You sayin' I can't protect myself?" She tried to sound grouchy,  
but the only effect was a halfhearted protest.

"Not when you're half-asleep," argued Ranma.

Ukyou took a deep breath (partially to wake herself up more), tried to look Ranma in the eye, and instead yawned again.

"Okay," she said, "alright, I'll stay over. Just stop badgering me," she mock-griped.

"Who's badgering ya?" shot back Ranma teasingly. "C'mon, let's get back in."

[Moments later...]

Manami, Sayuri and Yuka shambled to the back gate of the Tendo grounds, escorted by Akane.

"We simply must do this again some time," said Yuka mischievously.

"Until then, I do believe we'd better go home," said Sayuri.

"Oh my, mother will be worried," said Manami.

"See you guys tomorrow!" Akane waved, standing at the gate while her friends walked down the street. She smiled, happy that the day had gone so well. It was almost... well... almost an ordinary life.

She paused for a moment, admiring the particular beauty of the neighborhood that it had when it was dark, still, and empty on nights like this.

Totally empty.

"Excuse me, wh-"

"EEEEEK!" *WHAM*

Well, almost empty.

"Oh, Ryouga!"

"Ow... A-Akane?"

Of course, in Nerima, there was always the occasional odds of Hibiki strolling by.

"What are you doing out so late?" asked Akane.

"I was trying to get inside Ucchan's, but it was all locked and I guess I got lost." He sighed and leaned against the wall wearily.

"Tired?" asked Akane.

"Yeah, I think I've been walking around all day."

"Well, you can sleep in our guest room," offered Akane.

He didn't want to. Even though, in a corner of his mind, it was one of his fantasies to be invited to stay with the Tendos, by _Akane_, he just didn't feel it was right anymore.

But still...

"Well, if you're sure it's okay..."

Akane lead Ryouga upstairs, to the guest room. He couldn't help but feel nervous, since she was leading him up by the hand. He really hoped Ranma wouldn't find them together. He'd hate for him to get the wrong idea.

Upon further thought, he really hoped Ranma found them together. It was about time the jerk was taught a lesson in humility.

"Well, here's the guest room. There oughta be a cot and some pillows in there," said Akane quietly, not wanting to wake anyone up. "G'nite, Ryouga."

"Thanks Akane," whispered Ryouga. "See you tomorrow."

Ryouga dropped his pack and stumbled, in the dark, towards the futon.

Oh, it's already laid out. That's nice.

Not caring about neatness, Ryouga simply collapsed on the futon's edge and quickly fell asleep.

Dreams are odd.

Especially after a large dinner, junk food, and several movies.

"Whoa, this is neat," said Ukyou. She looked over herself in the grand mirror, astonished at how she looked in her white ball gown. It was shoulderless, sleek, and flowing regally. It made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman on earth.

It seemed awfully familiar.

"Oh, I get it," said Ukyou. "Audrey Hepburn's dress in 'Sabrina'. If that's the case, that means..."

She turned around, expecting to see a grand, outdoor area complete with couples in formal wear dancing and a big band orchestra, all lit by candle and starlight. It was, after all, the right scene for this particular dress.

And of course, it was all there.

Ukyou laughed. "Ha! I've got the role of Sabrina! This is neat." Since she was dreaming, she shrugged and figured it'd be best to just go with the flow. She might even have fun.

A hand tapped her bare shoulder. If this was 'Sabrina', that oughta be Humphrey Bogart, here to sweep her off her feet. Ah, but who else would take the part of Bogart but...

"Ranchan?"

"Um, aheh, no, sorry."

"Ryouga?!"

"Well, yeah. Sorry about that," he said, smiling nervously. "I know you were expecting Ranma."

"Guess I have less control of this dream than I thought," muttered Ukyou. "Oh well."

The band paused briefly, then began playing 'La Vie En Rose' as couples filled the dance floor one more time. Ukyou couldn't help but notice the singer was Nabiki. Odd, that.

"Can't wake up, so I might as well enjoy myself," she said casually. "Hey, Ryouga, wanna dance?"

"I'd love to," he said, with a bit more confidence than she was used to seeing in him. He took her gently by her arm, then led her as they danced casually, arms entwined, swaying to the music.

"I'm no Ranma, but I hope I'll do," he said, smirking with a bit of confidence.

Ukyou giggled. "Oh, you'll be enough, I guess."

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Ryouga, you jerk,  
why can't you be like this in real life?"

"Hm? Like what?" he asked.

"More confident, more decisive, not such a wishy-washy moron with the navigational sense of a... a... of something that doesn't have a sense of direction."

"I dunno," said Ryouga. "But what would you say if I said I liked you?"

"I... I might... I don't know if I'm ready for this again."

"Maybe I'm not either?"

"Hmm." Ukyou had to admit, that was a good point. "I see what you mean, sugar."

"Shh, enough talk, let's just dance for a while, okay?"

Ukyou nodded slightly, then rested fully in Ryouga's arms as they swayed to the music.

The mood, understandably, was very much romantic. Moonlight,  
elegant clothing, a grand dance under the stars, and Nabiki's surprisingly good rendition of 'La Vie En Rose' certainly helped. It was eventual that Ukyou's mind turned towards things that lovers do.

"You know," she said, letting a smile creep unto her lips, "I've been wondering if you can be a good kisser."

"Didn't I kiss you before?" asked Ryouga.

"Yeah, you did," said Ukyou, scowling, "but you were drunk and you were thinking of Akane. Jerk."

"Oh, yeah, I guess I was," said Ryouga. "Was I any good?"

"It was like being kissed by a dog," said Ukyou. "Very sloppy."

"Oh. Sorry about that," replied Ryouga. "I'll try to do better next time."

"Oh, so there's gonna be a next time?" asked Ukyou with an amused smile.

"How about right now?" answered Ryouga.

"Ooh, you're being rather bold. This is a dream, right?" she asked.

"Seems to be," said Ryouga.

"Just a dream," she said, pulling him closer. "In that case..."

Soft.

Warm.

Definitely... pleasant.

In Ryouga's half-asleep mind, a few minor alarm bells went off. There was a cause for alarm. The last time he felt these sensations,  
he was actually kissing Kodachi. He also was horrifically nervous about _that_ sort of thing in general.

The edgy, neurotic, panicky part of his mind nagged the rest of him awake, although not entirely awake.

His senses began their usual morning checkup.

Smell: Perfume, maybe, and smell of washed hair. Taste: Mild case of morning breath. Feel: Warm, soft... holding something, apparently.

Oh my. That was rather strange. The subconscious deemed that sight was needed immediately, even if it wasn't ready.

Sight: dark brown, black, fleshtones... need focus. Close eyes.

Sound finally had something to report: a definite rustling of sheets. That made sense, right? After all, he was under them.

Sight finally was ready for another try.

Open...

Long dark hair, slightly sharp face, who... who... ah. Ukyou.

The logic bits of his brain went to work, putting together the pieces of information obtained thus far and came to one conclusion.

Ryouga was in bed with Ukyou.

Logic consulted with Common Sense, and Common Sense said that this situation was ridiculous. Logic MUST be mistaken. Thus, Logic did another check (and while checking Feel, accidentally turned on Ryouga's Pleasure Center) and stated again that Ryouga was in fact under a blanket with Ukyou in his arms.

Common Sense thought about it.

Must be a dream.

Must also re-inforce this idea, else the entire system may overload from panic.

Say it out loud.

"Mffm..."

Hm. Speech isn't ready yet.

Okay... now.

"Mm... mus be a... dream... yeah?"

The Dream Ukyou (as Common Sense decided to label her) seemed to respond to that.

"Jus... a dream."

'Ah, there, you see?' said Common Sense. The Dream Construct confirmed it herself. Therefore, it HAD to be a dream. Nothing to worry about, so a general call for calm was put out.

Just... relax. Enjoy it.

Feel had something new to report. There were lips on Ryouga's face... and they weren't his.

The Pleasure Center managed to intercept this report before it got to Logic and Common Sense. It liked the news. A lot. Why... this must be a kiss! Oh yes, this was gooooood.

The Pleasure Center took over and suggested that Ryouga respond a bit. Logic's library of actions were woefully lacking in knowledge of how to properly respond, so the Mind in general used its backup library: stuff Ryouga watched on television.

That would mean... hm... kissing back a bit... yeah... holding the girl gently yet firmly as well... good, good... ah, yes, this was going rather well.

[morning...]

Ranma and Akane were standing outside of the guest room, very unsure of what to do.

"So lemme get this straight," said Ranma. "you told Ryouga to sleep in there..."

"And you told Ukyou to stay there?" asked Akane.

"Yeah... I didn't think anyone else would be there."

"So, you didn't see Ryouga anywhere else around here?"

"He isn't in the dojo," said Ranma, "not in the bathroom, not in my room. No way he'd be in Mr. Tendo's room, and I _really_ hope he ain't in Nabiki or Kasumi's."

"I haven't seen Ukyou around either," said Akane, "and nobody's answering the phone at Ucchan's."

"Hmm," said Ranma.

"Hmm," Akane.

They both looked at the guest room door.

"Would it be impolite to, say, check in there?" asked Ranma.

"It might be considered that, yes," answered Akane.

They continued to stare at the door.

"We really shouldn't, ya know," said Ranma.

"Absolutely," said Akane.

Words, however, were different than thoughts. Those thoughts were being nagged by the powerful force of genetics. After all, Akane IS the daughter of Soun Tendo, and Ranma IS the son of Genma Saotome. And considering the way Soun and Genma behaved...

The door opened silently. The two crept in without a sound.

"Oh my," whispered Akane. She is also, after all, Kasumi's sister. She was also blushing rather badly.

"Whoa!" yelled Ranma. He is, after all, Genma's son. This generally meant a lack of tact.

This also woke up two certain people.

Ryouga's brain snapped into focus suddenly. There was a reason for that, and the reason was currently draped over him, giving him a fairly passionate kiss.

"Mmm?" Ryouga asked.

"Why'd you have to be so loud, you moron!" hissed Akane.

"Sorry! Sorry! Let's get outta here, yeah?" suggested Ranma.

Common sense and Logic screamed at the same time. This was NOT A DREAM. Ukyou was in bed with him AND KISSING HIM. His eyes flailed around wildly in panic, and that didn't help at all since he immediately saw Ranma and Akane staring at them in bewilderment.

Ryouga's Common Sense and Logic, being as frail as they were,  
immediately froze, along with his ability to move.

Ukyou, still with closed eyes, broke off the kiss with a sigh and snuggled closer. She was woken up slightly, but still in that morning haze that makes everything foggy.

She felt good, though, for a reason that escaped her mind at the moment.

Ugh... morning... gotta open the store. In a few minutes.

She blinked her eyes. There was movement off to the corner. She tried to focus and looked.

"Oh. Ranchan, Akane, howyadoin?"

"Ah, good morning Ucchan," said Ranma nervously, "we were just leaving."

"Sorry about that," said Akane, "we'll be downstairs."

Before Ukyou could get another word in, they were out the door.

"Hm. Wha's their hurry?" she said groggily, closing her eyes.

Time to open the restaurant. Ugh. No, definitely not yet. Too tired. She snuggled under the sheets and decided to get just a _little_ more rest.

Seem t'be leaning on something.

She raised her head again and looked around.

Ah. Ryouga. So that's what she was snuggling up against.

"'Mornin, Ryouga."

"Um... good morning," said Ryouga.

A full minute passed.

Something finally occurred to Ukyou.

"Um... Ryouga... hey..."

"Y-yeah?"

"You seem to be in bed with me."

"Y-yeah."

"Hmm."

Neither moved. They were entirely unsure of what to do next. Ryouga was surprised that Ukyou hadn't punted him through the roof yet. Ukyou was surprised she hadn't punted him through the roof yet. What to do next was entirely unclear to both sides.

Perhaps, Ukyou thought, talking things through would be good?

"Y'realize this is the second time you snuck into my bed," said Ukyou, her eyes still closed.

"Y-yeah."

"An'this's the second time y'kissed me."

"Y-yeah."

"Y'got a good explanation for this, yeah?"

"Y-yeah."

"Good. Tell me later, I need 'nother hour of sleep." And without another word, Ukyou fell asleep again. Not knowing what else to do,  
Ryouga fell asleep too. After all, he didn't get much sleep either.

The reader may point out that Akane and Ranma seemed to be up and awake, although they got as much sleep as Ryouga and Ukyou. What Ranma and Akane were doing up so early was, they would say, nobody's business but their own.

[Several long and uncomfortable hours later...]

The day went fast and silent after the morning's interesting start. Ryouga had silently pounded Ranma after he joked about what Ryouga and Ukyou might have been doing earlier that night, and Ukyou silently grabbed Ryouga by the hand and left for Ucchan's.

Wordlessly, they prepared for the weekend crowd, cleaning tables,  
arranging seats, cleaning the equipment, etc. etc...

They handled the crowd with hardly a conversation. Just shouts of orders being made and orders to be brought.

Afternoon melted into sunset which faded into nightfall, and still the two didn't converse with each other. Actually, they weren't sure what to say to each other. They still had no idea what to make of the rather interesting start to the day, and were very much afraid of making even more of a mess of the situation than it already was.

And so there they were, at the end of the day, closing up shop and watching television. Not saying anything of consequence to each other.

Of course, this couldn't last forever.

And of course, it was Ryouga who cracked first.

"Um... about this morning," he said, sweating nervously.

"What about it?" she asked, not looking at him.

"I, uh, I mean... well... I'm sorry."

Without emotion, without eye contact, she said, "okay."

Ryouga was puzzled. 'Okay'? That was it? That was all? No promises of violence or accusations of perverted behaviour? That seemed all too easy.

This could mean only one thing.

She was waiting for her vengence. When he wouldn't expect it,  
she'd make him pay, and pay dearly. Nooooo, not a good thing at all. He was determined to avoid _that_, which meant a little groveling.

Unforunately, Hibikis don't grovel well. And considering this was a girl he was groveling to, and over a Very embarrasing event, he, of course babbled.

"I, ah, didn't mean to, well, I just, er, terrible, you know, never gonna do it again, accident, really embarrased..."

This wasn't taken well by Ukyou, especially with the bad word choice.

"What, you're saying kissing me was a BIG HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE FOR YOU?!" she yelled.

"YES! I MEAN NO! UM, WAITWAITWAIT!"

"Pick your words with care, moron," snarled Ukyou.

"ImeanImeanah, well, it was nice."

"I-it was?" asked Ukyou, her face slipping from anger to a slight blushing sort of embarrasment.

"Y-yeah, I guess," said Ryouga, keeping his gaze down.

"Y'weren't so bad yourself," said Ukyou shyly.

"I... I wasn't?"

"But... but next time," said Ukyou, "wake me up first, okay?"

Before any more words could be said she left for her room, leaving a dumbstruck Ryouga standing there in silience. Her mind was swimming in a bit of confusion and worry.

Did I just say that? Ohmygosh, I just said that!

As she slipped under the covers thorougly, she constantly berated herself. Might give Ryouga the wrong ideas after all, and she knew how much Ryouga could become obsessed with a girl. She did NOT want that. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

But it was a nice kiss.

She fell asleep a little later, looking just a bit happier than she usually did.

Ryouga, meanwhile, was still sorting things out.

Was she being sarcastic? Was she serious? Aaagh, I don't know what to do!

It was night, it was late, and so he decided to just forget about it all. Whatever will be will be, but he wasn't up do dealing with it now.

Yes, sleep would be the best option.

As soon as he found his room.

-end part 12-  



	14. One Thing Leads To Another

-  
EDITOR'S NOTE: it isn't essential that you read it, but this story is linked to the fanfic "The More Things Change" and it's forthcoming sequel "The Pursuit of Happiness" (yeah, the fic I've been working on for, oh,  
six, seven months . ) -

*******  
Prelude *******

A woman sat at her desk and appraised her computer, the monitor seemed to shine rather blankly back at her. Papers cluttered the area and had been strewn about rather haphazardly. She perused the file in her hand,  
which contained information on the most recent martial artist to arrive in Nerima. The file wasn't big at all.  
The woman in question was Nabiki Tendo. She was an information broker,  
and as such, she made it a point to know _exactly_ who and what was emerging in Nerima. Nabiki didn't get involved in Ranma's little problems, no, but if he had ever bothered to ask (and had the money to foot her service fee) she could have easily pulled up some interesting... facts. Facts that could demoralise and just possibly crush the fighting spirit out of Ryouga, Kuno, or any of the other many enemies Ranma had made over time. His fiancees weren't safe either, as careful drudging had netted Nabiki more than enough useful tidbits to keep her infinitely happy. She never pointed this out to Ranma (and given the current status of the fiancees and rivals, a little late), it was enough for her to know that she had at least a little leverage (or sometimes lots of leverage,  
especially in Kuno's case) to make them bend to her will. Having several of the world's most powerful (and strange) martial artists in her pocket was a reassuring feeling.  
This new arrival, though, was a mystery. Nabiki had very little to go on, and it annoyed her a bit. Again, this was mainly due to the fact that said person was a complete stranger to these parts. That, she decided,  
would have to be fixed, and soon. Until then, she felt that she might as well start a file.

Name : Noori, Tanya Sex : Female Age : 16 Height : 5'3"  
Weight : 80-90lbs?  
Eyes : Hazel Hair : Light brown, semi-short Martial Art : ?  
Associates : ?  
Enemies : ?  
History : ?  
Personality : ?

She paused to appraise the screen and frowned, there were too many question marks, not enough answers. This was no good. She saved the information to a file and shut down her laptop. Nabiki shrugged off her disappointment. It really hadn't taken long to find a stool pigeon, and it was one who would talk for a fairly cheap price at that. A wry grin formed on Nabiki's face, as later this day her pidgeon would give her all the info she needed to fill some of those gaps.

In a cafe in the commercial part of Nerima, Nabiki looked thoughtfully at her notes. Meanwhile, a somewhat lanky young man rose from the table.  
His long bangs fell loosely over his round-rimmed eyeglasses, concealing any emotion that may have shown there. At his side was a long case that appeared to contain some sort of musical instrument. The man looked as though he had just been payed, and rightfully so... as he now fingered through a small wad of yen to be sure it was all there.  
"Thanks, Tendo-san," he said non-chalantly.  
"Just remember, Megane-kun, if you hear anything more, let me know?"  
"Yah." this came out a bit mumbled as the man finished his counting,  
turned, and stalked off towards the door.  
As he departed, Nabiki shook her head in disbelief. Just when she thought she'd do about anything for money, she meets Mr. Megane Muhoshin.  
He was the very same one who'd previously sold out his family to her. She tsked, now he'd given her much of what she'd needed on Miss Noori.  
Nabiki looked down at her notes, sipped some more of her espresso, and filled in a few more blanks.

Name : Noori, Tanya Aliases : O'Leary, Danny; Nory, Tanya Sex : Female Age : 16 Height : 5'3"  
Weight : 80-90lbs?  
Eyes : Hazel Hair : Light brown, semi-short Martial Art : Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts Division Housecleaning Subdivision Chimney Sweeping(?)  
Skill level unknown, but rumored to be high.  
Associates : Megane Muhoshin (ex-boyfriend), Oshimu Giichi (sensei)  
Enemies : Ryouga Hibiki (Reason unknown)  
History : Recruited by the UWSMA (reason unknown) from the United Kingdom, enrolled for 5(?) years as a student of the UWSMA.  
Briefly involved with Megane Muhoshin (reason unknown)  
Has arrived in Nerima with the intent to defeat (kill?)  
Ryouga Hibiki (reason unknown).  
Personality : Generally quiet, not talkative. Tends to pursue any goal she sets with some intensity. Has shown flashes of brashness and a penchant for scheming. Is quick to annoyance or anger. Has a high level of pride and a strong ego.

Nabiki frowned. That filled in the empty spots, but her history was definitely too short. In most circumstances, the history part of her subjects would generally be the largest and most interesting. Nabiki sighed, she had to wonder what Miss Noori could be hiding, what bits of her past were yet to be uncovered.  
No sense frowning over it, she thought, and shut down her laptop computer. Standing slowly, Nabiki planned to waltz on over to Tatewake Kuno with some pictures in hand. If she played her cards, ah, pictures,  
right, she'd even get Kuno to foot the bill for the lunch she just ate. And Miss Noori? Nabiki put that subject aside. All would be revealed in time.

-  
First attempt at a Ranma fanfic... feel free to tear it apart at your leisure. I never once claimed to be good, just one with ideas. And here,  
put to text, was one. Ranma 1/2 has shown us once or twice, not all martial artists are contemporary... nor are they all Asian. With this, I thrust upon you... a young girl who is neither. This is the story of Tanya Noori...

Ranma 1/2 fanfic by Mihoshi All characters depicted or mentioned in this story are the trademarks and/or copyrights of their respective holders with the exception of Tanya Noori... who's mine, dammit. :P Send all comments and bashes to Mihoshi

The Pursuit of Happiness: Side Story

ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER

******  
PART 1 Brutal Youth ******

Somewhere in Manchester, England... a young, well-kept police officer did his best to keep a rambunctious child under control as he made his way up the stairs to a large, forboding building... -  
(It's not fair... they can't take 'er from me...) "Oh such a tragedy... the poor dear! Well, we'll take care of her." these words of false sympathy poured from the mouth of a frightening,  
elderly woman as she stood in the doorway Shildly Orphanage. The young girl now squirming helplessly under the arm of a large bobby glared spitefully at the old biddy, who seemed every bit a liar to her. This woman just wanted to take her from her Mum, and she knew it. The old witch continued, "Her mother's been hauled to the institute then? Well...  
the child is better off here anyhow. Ms. Nory was a raving looney, she was!" (You just WANTED t' take 'er away... so ya could make me sad! Well,  
I'm not sad, I'm ANGRY! You'll ALL pay for taking 'er! Ya will!) The bobby, a young, strong-looking officer of law, nodded solemnly. Ms. Nory had never been quite right since her hubby had run off... at least, it looked as though he'd bailed on her. His disappearance occurred suddenly, only just months after the birth of the screaming child now being held. He was gone without a trace, and Ms. Nory took it... poorly,  
"Aye, 'tis a shame. A charmin' lass, she was. Goin' off like that after four years... truely a shame, she'd seemed t' almost gotten o'er it, too. Ah well... nothin' t' be done of it now. Are ya sure y'can 'andle young Tanya 'ere?" (This man was our friend! 'ow could 'e allow them t' take 'er? 'ow could 'e? Mum TRUSTED 'im! Evil man!) Tanya Nory, the girl in question, could be a mean-spirited brat when she set her mind to it. This was one of those times. She just screamed and bawled, flailing like a wild animal in the officer's firm grip. Twisting like a snake, she managed to plant a foot firmly to his groin,  
which resulted in a squeak and a wince. However, the bobby remained standing. He squeezed his arm around the child and she gasped, becoming stiller. She struggled weakly still, however, with the spirit of a devil. (You'll pay... you'll see! Ya can't keep me forever! If me mum sawr Dad... she sawr him! Dammit! I'll avenge you, Mum... wherever they 'id ya.) "Now... ya sure y'can 'andle the wee babe?" he queried, his voice a little breathless. "Of course." came a cold, almost offended reply. The biddy pointed down the hall a ways, "Just take her to room 9 and she'll be just fine." Tanya glared icily at this... this... evil creature who presumed to take over her life. An evil grin flitted across her face... just as she resumed her struggle. (You, lady, will regret th' day ya crossed me path! I'll get ya, I will! I'll get ya but good!) "Right then, ma'am." shuffling through the door, the Bobby dragged a kicking and screaming Tanya to her new room, pushed her in, and slammed the door as though capturing a raving wolverine, "Cor, she's a nasty one! She pro'bly drove the Missus to the bin 'erself!" A loud, resounding crash came from beyond the door... and another...  
and yet another. The bobby sighed, "Sounds like she's tryin' t' bash th'  
door in. Me thinks y've gotcher 'ands full wit' th' wee beastie." "Indeed. Well, Mr. O'Solin... I'll just be seeing you out now, if you don't mind." the hag shooed the policeman out the door, "Things to do,  
don't you know. I haven't time to doddle." "Right then..." O'Solin tipped his cap politely as he shuffled out,  
"Good day to you, Ma'am." he made his way down the stairs and out to the street as the door was slammed behind him. He grumbled, "Saints preserve us, but that's a wild one. May they 'ave the best o' luck wit' 'er... they're goin' t' NEED it."

"Young lady..." The girl in question sat quietly at her desk, staring in an absent-minded manner at wall nearest to her. Anything was more interesting than Miss Brambly's lectures on multiplication, and young Tanya was always the first to show it. "Young lady..." There it was again: that annoying, sharp, elderly voice which Tanya continued to ignore in favour of now counting the holes in a ceiling panel. Not particularly interesting, but again, far more important than anything this old nag of an instructor had to say. "TANYA!" Okay, that got her attention, but only just barely. Piercing hazel eyes gazed up rather sullenly through puffy, even bangs... they settled coldly upon a slightly unnerved educator, "WOT?" came the stiff, cut response. Miss Brambly sighed. Tanya Nory was the terror of Shildly... and well deserving of the title. She was mean spirited, unruly, and often unkept child... one that was missing at all times of the day, only to be found setting up some horrendous and often potentially hazardous prank. This diminutive waif of a girl had the entire orphanage terrorized, and Miss Brambly was no exception. She was clearly more irritated than frightened,  
"Ms. Nory, you WILL pay attention in THIS class, I'll see to that!" The imputant child merely crossed her arms over her chest and sneered defiantly. She thought to herself in the standoff-ish silence, (You'll break, ya old hag, I'll be seein' t' that. I won't be leavin' here 'til I've made ev'ry last one o' you lot miserable.) finally shattering some of the tension, Tanya emitted a vaguely 'hmph' -like sound, "Wha'ever." The teacher flared! "You WILL learn what I'm teaching if it KILLS me,  
damn you!" "It jus' might." By this time, every child in the class was silent. Dead silent. The teacher went -red-. She pulled out a wooden ruler, to which the general class body's response was a group cringe. She approached the delinquent slowly, "I have had just about enough of you, young miss!" "Right then!" this was as good a time as any for a hasty withdrawal. Tanya scampered from her desk and bolted out the door, "G'day Ma'am! One o' y're best classes t' date!" she remarked sarcasticly as she fled the classroom. Her impish giggling echoed from the corridor, then progressed to silence as Tanya got out of range. Some of the other children began to giggle in spite of themselves, only to be silenced with a glare. It was then Miss Brambly launched into a torent of cursing and loud mumblings, mostly to the effect of 'They aren't paying me enough to take this' and 'If I was her mum, I'd switch her silly' which served only to set off more giggling. -  
Tanya cackled mischieviously to herself. Taunting Miss Brambly was always fun, and it was her biggest challenge to date. Tanya was now eight years of age, and in her four year stay at Shildley she had managed to scare off eight other instructors. After all, this was an orphanage, not a real school... few were willing to put up with her abuses, especially coupled with the meager wages. But Miss Brambly, the old bat, she'd stayed on for almost a year now. No call for that then! Tanya would often find herself pondering... debating wether the teacher was stubborn,  
of just plain stupid. "Stupid." she assured herself, "Definitely stupid." With a shrug, she clambered up through a loose air duct screen and disappeared, pulling the grate shut behind her.

\- Several Months Later -

Well, it had all finally paid off. Tanya was a clever lass, far more so than any of the faculty at Shildly orphanage could have ever imagined.  
Although, the in-house staff experienced more turnovers than your average fast-food joint. Few were ever given the chance to understand her... not that anyone had the courage, patience, or desire to do so. Had any of the adults bothered to observe her, they might have noticed a cold,  
calculating tone to all her mischief. It was her job to make all who acquainted themselves with this establishment a living hell, and she did a damn good job of it. Funny thing was, she could barely remember why. Now, Miss Brambly was gone. Barely a year there, and she had been the staunchest of the faculty. Tanya took a certain pride in knowing that it was indeed her who scared the wench off. "B-b-but Miss Brambly! Joan! Wait please! Shildly needs you!" this was from one of the paper pushers, a mousey man in a suit that always seemed several sizes too large. Tanya never knew or cared what purpose he served. The old cow ignored him. She -IGNORED- him! Oh this was too great! Tanya giggled wickedly from her window in room #9. She smiled almost cutely down at the ex-educator. Miss Brambly looked up at the wicked child, then clucked abrasively,  
"You don't need me, you need a firing squad! And now... you need a lawyer. Mine will be contacting yours. Good day!" "But-but-but..." he just stammered, stunned. 'Lawyer' was not a word he wanted to hear. He gulped quietly, then sighed. He shook his head solemnly as he watched the woman go. The proprietors would -not- be pleased. Tanya cackled mildly to herself as she watched old Brambly hoof off to the Taxi like the cow she was. Tanya giggled in a fit of mirth as the door closed on a bit of Brambly's dress, leaving it to flap in the wind as the taxi tore off down the street. Smiling, the self-proclaimed 'Faculty basher' ticked off another mark on her wall. Yes, she even kept track. Brambly had been a toughy, alright. It had taken a year of blatant disregard and feigned ignorance in class, 12 waterbucket-in-doorway gags (she never did learn each month to watch the doors), multiple times of greasing the woman's shoes at night with lard to mixed effects, varied incidents with mildly poisonous bugs; and one nearly villianous prank which involved half a dozen hungry rats, a cannister of honey mustard,  
oven mits, a rake from maintenance, and an externally locked bathroom door. Oh, but that was a good one, her pride in fact. Tanya puffed up triumphantly, it sounded like the old hag would sue, a bit of recognition for just how cunning that prank really was! A day of triumph indeed! Tanya gleed as she watched old paper-pusher slink back in through the entry doors. She knew where he was going, and wanted to watch him get chewed out. Quickly, she scrambled into her air duct and scampered along the passage with practiced silence.

"Well... that's it then." the voice seemed familiar, and rightfully so. Mrs. McTal was the only person who'd been a constant over Tanya's four-year stay. This was the woman in charge, not to mention the lady who had first taken Tanya in so many years ago. It wasn't devotion that kept the woman here, only that Tanya hadn't given her a reason to leave personally. Tanya wanted -someone- to see her in action at all times. McTal eyed the little man who had entered her office only moments ago,  
"You're absolutely positive then? She's plannin' to sue? All over that waif, then, isn't it?" Somewhere in the air ducts, a giggle was stifled. "W-well... yes..." he stammered, no backbone at all here, "The Nory child seemed to have a hand in it, alright..." "Right. I think I have had just about enough. It has become apparent to me that the child is untameable. She is uncooperative, disruptive, has no desire nor shown any ability to learn, and has shown a distinctive tendency to mischief bordering upon violence. I don't care -who's- she was, I want her gone." (Uh oh.) was Tanya's thoughts, (I know where this's goin', and no sir,  
I don' like it.) "I think it's time I took Officer Roler up on that military school offer. She's nearly nine now, and we can't be keeping her forever. Maybe the lads can beat sense into her." (This would be where I make my hasty retreat...) she paused only long enough to pick out minor details. "Get me Roler on the tele. I want her gone by Friday, no later, do you hear me?" "Right Ma'am!" "Dally, and it will be your head." "Right Ma'am, I'll get him right away..." (I've until Friday... easy. Luckily, I've made preparations. Time t'  
blow this 'ell.) she crept soundlessly through the ducts, back to her room.

******  
PART 2 On The Outside ******

It was several months after her daring escape from Shildly... well,  
maybe it wasn't so daring upon looking back. Tanya grinned smugly at her cunning, as she had stolen her idea from a novel she once read, and was particularly surprised no one had thought of it sooner. It was a simple matter to crawl through the circulation ducts to the laundry room. So,  
early Friday morning, she packed up her meager belongings and snuck off to where the laundry was kept. Upon reaching her destination, she hid in one of the laundry troughs just before they were carted off for cleaning. Laundry trucks came every friday, and that friday was no exception. It was a flawless plan, and no one seemed to notice (or care) that she was gone. By noon, Tanya was well on her way to London. She had pickpocketed enough money from the Shildly faculty to afford a train. She figured that London was far enough away to evade the bobbies... and there, she could start her life anew. As a petty thief. This didn't work out... at all. Sitting quietly in her hiding place, Tanya was very fortunate it was mid-summer, else the chimney she'd chosen to lay low in might have been in use. She took every care to maintain her silence, and would do so for hours, for she had errored severely and was now paying the price. Bobbies were after her, and she wasn't sure if it was due to the fact she was a runaway... or if it was as a result of her recently botched attempt at shoplifting. She was sure it was for the latter, but disliked both prospects either way. Narrowly eying the one item she'd managed to make off with, Tanya sighed. Today, her dinner would be a single orange. Hardly a meal at all. She actually pondered, ever so briefly, if she'd made a huge mistake running off. (No,) Tanya slumped a bit in her hideaway, (They were gonna send me t' milit'ry schoolin' anyway. Better off dead than that.) With a resigned shrug, Tanya peeled her orange and munched without a sound. Several hours passed like this, with Tanya slowly dozing off. For all the fight she offered, fatigue overwhelmed her. In order to get here, the girl had done an awful lot of running, and it was now beginning to catch up to her. She might even have fallen asleep, were it not for the distinct sound of foot steps approaching. Okay, now she was awake. Tanya was suddenly very still... and very frightened. (Oh bloody 'ell.) A face peered into the chimney, a dirty one at that, "Well! Wou'dja lookit that!" more words might have come if the man hadn't received a face and mouth full of soot. "ACK! *pfeh!Kaffkaff!*" he stumbled backwards,  
rubbing his face. "GO AWAY!" "Wot the bloody 'ell was that?" it was a second voice, somewhat deeper than the first. So there were two of them out there... "There's a kid in there... *kaffkaff* no wonder th' soot washed down inta th' livin' room like that. *kaffwheeze* Prob'ly knocked it all loose, I bet!" the man didn't dare poke his face in there a second time,  
"Go 'ave a look-see, why doncha?" "An' jus' wot kind of bloke do ya take me for? Get a faceful like you? I don't think so! " a long pause followed, then, "Eh, Donald... you okay?" "Bleah, *hackhack* yeah, jus' ducky." "Right then." They sure didn't sound like bobbies, not by a long shot. Then again,  
bobbies didn't exactly have a designated voice signature. Tanya knew she was in a great amount of trouble, all things considered. What would they do with her now? (Well, I've come all this way for naught. I can't let m'self end up like this.) "Go 'ave another look then." the distinct sound of shuffling followed,  
then some grumbling and footsteps. Tanya swallowed hard, this was it. She could run, but where? She'd done trapped herself but good in the narrow chimney of some London home. It was late now, Tanya had run an awful lot to escape, and she was very tired as a result. Almost too tired to offer any real resistance at all. A voice called out, "Come on out, lad, or I'm comin' in. And I'm supposin' that'd right be uncomf'table. Don't make me do it." (A warm room wit' a bed would rather suit me now...) the girl hunched a bit in her chimney, (But I've come so far.. I don't want t' go back.) then it dawned on her, ('Lad'?) "Come on out, now! I 'ave a job t' be doin'..." this was still the voice of he who had been called 'Donald'. Tanya growled low, acquiring a minor aura. She had been called 'lad'  
or 'boy' by the other kids in the orphanage her first weeks there. This did stop after a while, once she beat the holy snot out of each and every one of them to prove them wrong. In most situations, this double negative would be proof positive that she was, in fact, a he... but no one dared make this joke least she smite them further. Either way, she hated be called a boy in any case, this time was no exception. The other voice added, "Come now, time is money..." Seething, she drew in a deep breath, finally going with the assumption that they were, in fact, not bobbies. The soot-covered visage which arose from the chimney was, at best, indistinguishable. The two men blinked, Donald managed, "Cor... 'e's a dusty one, ain't 'e though?" Two leering eyes peered out from the child's soot covered face... this,  
accompanied by the noticeable red aura she now wore made the two men step back a bit. She intoned angrily, "I... am *NOT* ... a *LAD*" "Ah... no?" Donald quickly shoved his comrade forward, "Go talk t' th'  
la-er..." very quickly did he note the voice... a girl? "...lady,  
Jimmy-boy" "Er... right." *Cold glare*  
"You talk t' 'er." he counter-shoved Donald forward none too gently,  
"You found 'er." Donald was a tall, gangly-looking man. There was little more he could do than to stumble towards the girl, having been pushed by a guy who looked a good bit brawnier than himself. He tripped forward, then did his best to maintain some dignity while attempting to regain balance. Straightening up, Donald approached the now vaguely glowing child, "Now then, come on out, love, we won't be 'urtin' ya..." She thought about it for a moment, then looked the man over. He was very non-threatening, almost laughable in appearance as he seemed to wear a fine coat of soot over his clothes. He was dressed in a simple black shirt with grey jacket and work pants. Donald also donned a dirty red scarf and a soft-cloth cap which probably would have shaded his eyes, were the sun out. On his feet were steel-tipped shoes... a mark of a teddy,  
but the soot smudged on his face and the brushes and brooms he carried were a dead give away. She resisted the temptation to giggle, it was a chimney sweep, and he looked like he'd stepped right out of a story book. For all her efforts, a grin broke on her face. She quickly noted the other was dressed similarly. Donald blinked, then melted into a somewhat silly smile, "There now,  
see? We're friends, right?" Tanya finally giggled in spite of herself, then reluctantly climbed out of her chimney. She was still maintaining a mildly threatening glow, and thusly tried to stay wary of the two strangers, "Who're you? What d'ya want?" she was ready to bolt if need be... but on a rooftop, as it were,  
she had no idea where she'd go. The gangly one took a bold step forward, but took no more when he saw the girl start to tense, "Um... I'm Donald, and me mate 'ere's James. We're not goin'ta 'urtcha, lass. What're ya doin' up 'ere this time o'  
night?" She was really too tired for a snappy retort, but managed one anyway,  
"I'm admirin' th' stars, I am." Tanya made sure this dripped with sarcasm. "Oh, I see..." Donald rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Won't yer parents be worried 'boutcha way up 'ere this time o' night? A lot o' strange ones roamin' 'bout, don'tcha know..." "That's right, a fine... er... lass such as yerself out by yer lonesome and all that. 'ardly seems proper." the other couldn't help but add. He never could stay quiet, a trait that occasionally found him in trouble. "Who're you to tell me wot's proper? "Um... well..." "And me parents'll ne'er know." "No?" "No." Donald pondered his next words carefully, still unsure what exactly the lass meant by this, "Come now... we'll be takin' ya 'ome now, afore someone misses ya." "NO! I'm not going back!" she'd yelled this in a rather frightened voice, one that betrayed the boldness of her appearance. Tanya had all but startled the chimney sweeps, and herself. The girl really was afraid,  
far more so than she dared to let on. Regardless, this response certainly got their attention, as well as maybe drawing the attention of passerbys below, "Mebbe we should be takin'  
this elsewhere. Won't you come wit' us an' talk a bit, lass?" the thinner of the two had noticed spectators below gathering... and didn't care for it at all, "We'll take ya t' th' van." "You're just trying to trick me!" (Really, wot do I 'ave t' lose? They can't be worse than th'  
authorities.) James finally noticed what Donald kept glancing down at, "Lookee there... cor, we're drawin' an audience, we are." "Audience?" this WOULD be a good time to leave. And these two seemed nice enough. Besides, she could probably get away if she needed to,  
"Okay, I'll go. But I warn ya, I'll run at first opportunity ya try t'  
'arm me."  
"We'd never dream of it, lass." Donald offered his hand forward to Tanya, "We'll getcha down from 'ere first. Then we talk, right?" James continued to look down at the gathering London folk. He even waved to them, smiling innocently. Tanya carefully took Donald's hand, her slight aura fading to nothing. Donald sighed, then dragged his idiot partner away from the side of the roof, "Cut it out, ya cad. Let's move. We'll get th' chimney on our way back. Jus' tell Corey somethin' came up, an' we won't charge 'im t' make up for it. 'e'll understand" "For free? Cor, damn right 'e'll understand." James grumbled, but nodded, "Right." Strapping his brooms firmly to his back, Donald gathered up the girl and nodded to James, "Short cut, Jimmy-boy..." James grimaced, the shortcut involved him climbing down and getting a bulky, *heavy* ladder from the van. It wasn't that he wasn't strong enough, not by a long shot, but it was mostly just a terrible hassle. He grumbled and disappeared over the edge of the roof, uttering a muffled,  
"Right." as he went. Donald nodded solemnly, "E's a good lad, me finest friend. And I 'ope 'e 'urries it up..."

Three years had passed since Tanya's encounter with the chimney sweeps... and an interesting three years they were. They had taken pity on her, after she'd explained everything she'd been through. Not only had they not turned her over, they took her in as one of their family. Donald went through an extreme amount of trouble for the girl. He'd taken an immediate liking to her. Pulling a few strings - no, a lot of strings, he'd managed to see to it that nobody noticed as one London filing clerk 'misplaced' a few important records on a runaway orphan no one really wanted to find. That some new, false records mysteriously appeared in their place, regarding a young boy by the name of 'Danny O'Leary' who would be staying with his uncle Donald for a while... (In order to better conceal the girl, they had made her dress as boy. She cursed and hollered up and down about this, but finally had to admit: it was a great disguise, and... *grr* she so much looked the part.) The final touch was the local schooling. With a few called in favors, 'Danny'  
was easily enrolled, 'his' papers mysteriously all in order. Tanya never knew or understood what Donald had done exactly, nor all the work he'd had to do following the trouble he'd gone through. She knew only that she was comfortable where she was. They treated her like family, and expected her to work with them to earn her keep as well. This was no problem, as Tanya grew to love the profession... getting payed to wander the roofs and pop about in the chimneys, that was the life. To say she loved her work was an understatement. Staying with her newfound family, Tanya learned a lot about the business history. It was a very small-time endeavor, and something of a family tradition. Donald had become a sweep like his father and grandfather before him. They were very traditional, and kept a small clientel who valued their services greatly. See, they did things in the old style, the old stereotypical brooms and cleaning equipment... no corners ever cut. Donald had a very important reputation to live up to,  
being the only child in the family, it was a bit harder than one might expect. It was strictly a family thing, but when his father finally died,  
he was forced to take on a partner to keep the business going. This was James. James had always been a class chum of Donald's. Old school pals and what not. James was a bit bigger than Donald, and not nearly so bright,  
but he was always a true and loyal friend. They would goof off upon the roof tops while Donald's father would do whatever chimney maintenance was required of him. Needless to say, they got yelled at a lot. This,  
however, kept James fairly close. And he was the first to offer his assistance when the elder had died. Donald gratefully accepted. With the business being so exclusive, it had a lot of close ties. Donald and James would often do favors and such, not the least of which was some basic maintenance other than chimney cleaning. This garnered many favors, most of which Donald called in the day he took on Tanya. This, she never fully realized. Tanya, again, knew only that she was content. And it was her staunch mission to make the both of them proud of her. In school, she made a lovely boy. And as 'Danny' she was never teased,  
nor was her gender ever questioned as it had been back in the orphanage. This was both a relief, and very disturbing to Tanya... after all, what that told her was that she made a better boy, and that annoyed her to no end. Either way, she never complained, nor did the girl ever give away her secret. Her instructors found her to be a marvelously sharp child,  
and often was she commended for her wit and cunning. Praise was rather alien to the girl, and decidedly, she rather liked it. Donald had planned to enrolled her in a sort of martial arts class. With her wandering the streets on occasion, he grew more and more paranoid. It took him a good year before he could work a favour out of the instructors there. Donald was one who didn't care to pay for things if he could labor for them. Tanya found herself enrolled in a Tai Kwan Do class, and she absolutely ADORED it. It was an EXCUSE to beat on someone if she ever felt the need or desire. Even now, she was still every bit the violent child she had been, only more in control. In her two years there, she had proven to be an excellent student, one who learned fairly quickly. However, her temper still tended to flair in combat, often hurting her opponent to unnecessary extents. Admittedly,  
though, she was brutally efficient. It wasn't long before she'd convinced one of the teachers to train her in various weapons, not the least of which was the staff. By the end of that two years, she had achieved a red belt in the art. It was rightfully earned, as Tanya had become quite good. With staves,  
she excelled. The very idea of extending the distance at which she could strike had caught her fancy. The reach was nice, and it felt very 'right'  
in her grip. And, most of all, her sweep brooms were an awful lot like staves, only weighted to one end. Using what she'd learned, Tanya had soon trained herself to compensate for the uneven balance. Once she'd achieved that,  
her desire was to incorporate her sweep tools into the art.  
Tanya had initially thought this would impress her masters. It didn't.

There was the sound of a violent *CRACK* then a shriek. This was shortly followed by the sobbing of a 12 year-old boy. Tanya was always rough on the boys. Feh, they deserved it anyway. If they had any idea it was a girl stomping their arse... "DANNY!" She didn't respond immediately. Even after 3 years of having the name,  
there were things that could still distract her from noticing. The punk child on the floor holding his now bleeding cheek was one of them. (Thought ya were pretty tough, eh, boy? i don't car 'ow much older'n me you are...) This thought was interrupted by a very loud *THWACK* to her skull. She winced, "'EY?! Wot's th' big idea?" "Mr. O'Leary! How many times have I said not to bring those...  
_THINGS_ into class with you?!" this was barely short of a yell. Aye,  
teacher was *miffed*. And the 'things' he referred to were two three foot poles ending in wire-bristle brushes which splayed out in a circle about the tip. She was now wielding one in each hand. Obviously, these brushes were sweeping tools, but the metal bristles were a bit of a curiousity. Actually, Tanya had custom made them to be weapons, and the iron fibers were her added touch. "Well, sir, they're technically short staves, right?" Whispering went on in the background. Something along the lines of "'ow did 'e get those in 'ere?", "Dunno... didn't see.", "Where would ya 'ide things like those?", "'e pulled 'em from thin air, 'e did!" this was silenced by another instructor who wanted nothing to so with the situation, and wanted his students to follow in suit. "STAVES?!" the enraged master bellowed this. Tanya honestly didn't see the big deal. She'd been at this almost two years now, and was rather surprised the inventive, modified staves didn't impress. But this was no matter. This had been the fifth or so time she'd used them in class, and now, it was a sort of defiance thing. "Staves? Indeed..." he helped the crying child up and examined the damage. It was rather serious, and he flushed pale when he could just make out bone through the badly ripped cheek. The towels they were using had soaked up much of the blood, but it was apparent an ambulance would need to be called, "Right... Gorden, call the paramedics. And you...  
Daniel O'Leary, do not return here ever again." She shrugged, it really wasn't a big deal. She hadn't broken anything,  
so the worse would be some scarring. No biggie. But oh well. Tanya nodded, and said in a largely mocking tone, "Aye, sir." on her way out. She'd learned all she could here anyway, though, Tanya was sure, Donald wouldn't be happy one bit.

It was hours later, and Tanya found herself walking along an alleyway just north of her home. She had been stalling herself all this time. (Donald's goin' t' be so disappointed.) was the thought for the passing moments. Rather than go home and tell them right away, the girl opted to wander, carefully pondering the words she would use. Whatever words would smooth things the best.  
She didn't notice the men who happened to be approaching her swiftly from behind. They had, however, noticed her. And dressed in her sweep clothes, did she ever look the easy mark. Tanya mumbled to herself, "Two years at that lousy school... think they'd be teachin' me somethin' use-*" she was cut off when she heard the distinct shattering of glass, "Wot th'...?" she spun to face the noise. The 'noise' was one man wielding a broken bottle, with a second holding tight to an iron pipe. They were dressed in leather, with steel-tipped shoes. Teds for certain. They approached slowly, "All we wants is yer wallet, li'l boy. 'and it o'er." was the foul utterance of the one bearing the pipe. She backed up carefully, (Only two, but are they ever nasty lookin'  
blokes. Right... shouldn't be too 'ard.) The men continued to approach, they didn't think much of the short staff sweep-brooms strapped to her back. And they thought even less of them when she drew both and held them forward defensively, "Wot? Gonna 'sweep' us t' death?" the two had a quick laugh at this. "I jus' might." Little to no time was wasted on words. She was gone suddenly, then several loud *cracks* were heard and a sickening *squidge*. With that,  
the pipe man was on the ground shrieking. He looked a bit mauled, far worse than he actually was, holding his now blood-stained side and awkwardly bent arm. "'oly shi-*" was the cut response. There most certainly were other words he'd desired to say, but they were silenced as he caught the end of an iron rod with his jaw. This knocked him sideways, but didn't keep him from steadying and LUNGING for the girl, "Ah lad... BIG mistake!" he jabbed quickly, and only just caught Tanya's shoulder. It was enough to send the child reeling across the pavement. (Owowow... 'urt, that 'urt... damn... can't feel me arm...) she scrambled deeper into the ally, just barely ahead of the still slightly dazed teddy boy. "Now I'm gonna kill ya, ya li'l bastard..." he found himself alone,  
"Come on out... no sense 'idin'! Y're dead walkin', ya are!" Pawing through a belt-pouch, she drew forth a small egg-shaped item. (Let's see then 'ow these chemicals work...) drawing aim on the punk,  
Tanya threw the egg-thing as hard as she could. It hit its mark: face.  
(BINGO!) The ted flailed, flinging his bottle in a random direction and hitting nothing. He grabbed for his face and eyes, where smoke was now rising from its surface. All he managed was an incomprehensible scream. It was then Tanya drew in for the kill, so to speak. Adrenaline kicking in, the blinded hood stood little to no chance as he was bludgeoned into unconsciousness. That done, Tanya found herself panting. Her bruised arm fell to her side as the adrenaline rush faded. She leaned against a wall, sagging into it. Sheathing her tools, she rubbed her shoulder, and tried to resist crying. A figure stepped out from the shadows, and eyed her narrowly. Bad timing, Tanya really wasn't in any shape for another fight. She only whispered, "Who're you?" The man bowed low and stepped forward. He was noticeably foreign,  
Asian for certain. He only nodded, "You are Danny O'Leary? Or should I say, Tanya *Noori?" Tanya BLINKED! "Er..." (Cover... cover... no wait, 'e already knows who I am... oh 'ell. I'm caught.) "Ya don't look like a bobby..." was all she could think to say. "I am not." the man offered his hand to Tanya, "I am Giichi. Oshimu Giichi. You have a strong spirit, and we have some interest in you." "We?" "Hai." "Wot?" "Yes." "Ah..." well, that was fruitless. Tanya decided to query a bit further, this man was obviously not an authority of any kind, "Who's this 'we'?" "I noticed your fighting style at what was once your dojo only days ago. It is very interesting, to say the least. You use brushes and brooms... chemicals... unusual to say the least, ne?" "Problem wit' that?" "Iie, no problem. In fact, it is what attracted my attention." Giichi noted the surroundings with a bit of disgust, "I should like to talk to you further. Perhaps elsewhere would be more appropriate. I think I have a proposition for you." Finally catching her breath, Tanya nodded, "Right..." she was still wary of the stranger, "'ow about a bit o' tea? I know a nice dine-in." Giichi nodded. He was certainly dressed for nicer places. He worried that too much time in this alley might ruin his nice business suit. He didn't have many, after all, "Please, lead the way." Tanya nodded carefully, then made her way out of the alley. At no time did she take her eyes off the gentleman.

-  
* Nory becomes Noori because in Japanese 'ry' doesn't exist.  
-

It had taken 3 hours and a rather costly meal to finally sway young Tanya's trust, but it was worth it. Giichi had convinced the girl that her best course of action would be to join him in his journey back to Japan. He had been watching her over the last week, and her skill was wasted in such a conventional environment. Giichi was satisfied that this spry, tomboyish child would easily fullfil his obligation to the school. (Strong, spirited, and talented. Hai, she'll make a fine pupil. I need only convince her family now that this is the best for her. Her gift is wasted here... it can be refined at the dojo.) he had faded only ever so slightly with his thoughts, and Tanya's voice brought him back with little to no effort. "Okay... so... y're sayin' 'ere that y'll 'ouse me, feed me, and train me fer free then?" it sounded too good to be true. She'd never thought she'd have the opportunity to travel to the orient, much less live there,  
"And y'll teach me t' better use me brooms better, right?" Giichi nodded solemnly. They'd gone over this part of the conversation three times before... and no, the answer wasn't any different. "And... " she continued on, counting the perks on her fingers, "I'll get t' spar wit' other blokes usin' me tools, as well as learn th' local language so's I can talk wit' 'em, right?" the learning of a new language part was easily the cincher. Contrary to popular belief, she did enjoy the prospect of gaining new knowledges. The sensei again nodded... this, too, had been gone over three times previous. "So... where do I sign?" "Ah, but we need the consent of your peers. I dare not worry them unnecessarily. I think they can be persuaded, however." Giichi stood,  
leaving money and tip for the waitress who'd served them. He looked down at the girl and knew she had no way of understanding how financially bad off her 'family' was. He'd quickly realized it would be a simple matter to show them it was indeed for the best. He needed only first convince the girl of it as well. This went well, Tanya was more than anxious to go. Tanya stood and stretched. There had to be a catch somewhere, but if there was, she couldn't see it, "Okay. I 'ope you're right. I've never asked t' go so far away. I don't know..." The other thing of note about this exceptional child was her history... that, and the information his people had gathered on how she had become 'he'. The routes used for this were far less than legal. Giichi could use that if it came down to the wire, but he really loathed blackmail or strong arm methods. Willing was far more to his liking, and his diplomatic way with words would likely net his dojo a new student as well as prove convenient for all involved. (I don't know why the UWSMA wishes to have students from so far north, but I am pleased to have found one with so much potential. Now, If her rebellious streak can be shaped into obedience, there will be no problems. and she will excel in her learnings.) he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then stated in a calm voice,  
"I have little time to waste. Take me to your family so I may converse with them?" "Okay! This'll be cool!" Tanya bounced from her seat and took off,  
intent on leading the man to where she knew Donald and James were working at the moment. She halted long enough to inquire, "Do ya mind roofs much?" Giichi was the master sensei of the Housekeeping and Maintenance Dojo,  
he'd done far more tedious things than roof-hopping... and all in a nicely kept suit as well, "Iie, I'll manage." Nodding, Tanya rushed off out the door. Giichi strolled out casually,  
waiting for the door to close behind him before chasing off after the youth, "Chotto matte!"

It was after 20 minutes of bounding from rooftop to rooftop that they finally stumbled upon the two chimney sweeps. Donald, for one, was overly surprised at the appearance of a middle-aged Asian man in a white suit,  
but seemed to handle it fairly well with all things considered. It was just a bit unusual to get such a well dressed visitor while on the job... especially three stories up at the base of a chimney. These things just didn't normally happen. James seemed oblivious to it, his only comment being, "Fancy that." as he disappeared into the chimney. Giichi approached the two carefully (More like one... James was far too busy with the chimney to be bothered, it seemed.) and stated in a proper,  
delicate tone, "Gentleman, I believe I have a proposition for you that would be in the best of interests for all parties involved..." "Oh?"

******  
PART 3 Turning Japanese ******

2 Years later

In a small, wooden, and very traditional tea house, two elderly gentlemen, both wearing kimonos, drank tea and chatted of various things. This was where they went to relax. "So, how goes the new student, Giichi-san?" said one of the two men,  
idly perusing a newspaper he stroked his beard. The other smiled. "She progresses quickly, Miyaji-san, beyond my expectations." "What was her name again?" "Noori Tanya." "A gaijin, isn't she?" Giichi nodded and reached for the business section of the paper. "She was rebellious at first, indeed." He chuckled, thinking of how odd she looked. A little girl so full of stubborness and pride. "But after a while, with a little stern discipline and careful guidence, she's quickly become the top of her class." "Did you hear of her current relations? She is currently being courted by Mr. Muhoshin." Giichi paled. "Not -him-?" "No no no, not Ryo. The other one." Giichi sighed with relief. "Tell me, Giichi, was it your teachings or natural talent which elevated Noori-san in her martial art abilities?" queried Miyaji. "At first I had to get through her stubbornness. Difficult, that was. But once I overcame that, her progress was amazing. A natural martial artist, that Noori-san." "I was hoping you might enlighten me on dealing with -him-." "The eldest Muhoshin?" Sensei Miyaji nodded sadly. "In the martial arts, he is indeed sharp,  
but he is not easily motivated. Once he established himself as the finest student in the dojo, he became content and lazy." "Surely he has something that motivates him. For Noori-san, it was the art itself, and the spirit of competition." Giichi wouldn't admit it, but he was feeling a little proud at the moment. "Oh, he is motivated... by forces I do not wish to use." he sighed,  
"However, my fellow senseis have resigned themselves to it." Sensei Giichi's expression turned to that of concern. "Oh?" "If someone threatens to become talented enough to overtake him in his standing as number one student, _then_ he is motivated. But he does not stop at training, he faces his rival in a duel and tries his best to not just defeat, but humiliate his opponent. He is fueled by prestige and hate, it seems." Sensei Giichi nodded solemnly. "Good talent, but a dishonorable soul." Sensei Miyaji sighed. "I only hope that this plan that the others have used won't backfire." "Plan?" "Muhoshin-san is currently ranked at number two, and will stay there. He IS training harder, as a result, but I fear his hatred of the new top student will overshadow everything else." Giichi patted Miyaji on the back. "The way of the martial artist is fraught with difficulties, Miyaji-san." "So says the sensei with such a willing student," replied Miyaji. "I _did_ say she was stubborn at first, did I not?" replied Giichi,  
"Believe me, Miyaji-san, that first year was very difficult. She had beaten up any student that she thought may have been insulting her, and would even presume to tell her instructors how things should be done! Did Muhoshin-san ever do that?" "No," muttered Miyaji, "he just found loopholes in our rules and took every advantage of them." "Oh. A warrior's skill and a lawyer's heart?" Miyaji just nodded tiredly. "Ah, well, Miyaji-san, I think it's time I check on my student about now. We are supposed to go on a small training trip some time later." "Very well then, good day, Giichi-san." "Good day, Miyaji-san."

Tanya yawned and stretched, (It's been a good day, then, 'asn't it?) she thought to herself, grinning widely at her achievement. It hadn't been more than two hours ago that she had finally perfected her Hyakuharisuru,  
a technique involving the spinning of a chimney broom until bristles literally launched at a target. Not only that, she'd even managed to charge a bit of chi energy into it, sending the sharp needles hurtling that much faster towards a target about 70 feet away. This was a rather new thing for her all together and it was the first time any of her attacks actually utilized the inner power. Short of the pride she gained with the achievement, Tanya received a rather noteworthy score on the test she was taking and was rewarded with a day to kick back and rest. She was doing just that. (Wait until I tell me folks... they'll be proud for certain!) her thoughts drifted back to a rooftop conversation from long ago. One in which a saddened but understanding Donald agreed to transfer the care of Tanya over to a man he'd never before seen: Giichi, in effect, to the UWSMA. It was an excellent decision, one that had proven to do nothing but alter the child for the better. She frowned slightly, the girl did miss her family dearly, but was happier now than ever before that she had decided to join the Housekeeping/Maintanance dojo, (They'd be proud o' me now, they would! I know it! Gotta call 'em tonight.) Tanya smiled and sat up, looking down from her perch upon a roof beam in one of the sparring buildings. It had become something of a habit for her to hide away in the rafters on her free days, and today was no different. She had crept up there unobserved, and now watched the happenings unnoticed. Her attention was drawn to a duel between two of the umbrella fighters, "Hm?" squinting, she recognized them both. Ryo Muhoshin, Megane's brother. This caught her attention more than anything,  
she'd always wanted to see her boyfriend's family in action. The other was Ryouga... something. The family name eluded her, but Tanya knew he was supposed to be some sort of fighting prodigy. (Oooh... this ought t'  
be a good'n...) with that thought aside, she kicked back and watched silently, unnoticed. Well, she thought so anyway. The fight came to a rather climactic end, with several blows struck between both combatants. She had been observing the battle for quite some time now and, to her shame, found herself kinda rooting for the Ryouga boy. It seemed only right, Tanya always did cheer on the underdog... and to her eyes, the boy was losing. Besides, Ryouga was cuter. Her attention intensified as she watched Muhoshin whip his umbrella forward in a fluid motion, pressing the tip to the 'prodigy's' throat.  
Tanya managed to stifle her gasp, thinking, (Ye gods, he's gonna kill th'  
lad!) Her reflex was to jump down to join the fray, this was halted promptly as something struck her face, and suctioned there. A muffled 'eep' came from Tanya, who now worked to free a plunger from her face.  
"Ah, my pupil... it is not your business to interfere. Sit and watch young one." he pulled the plunger free with a quick tug.  
"S-sensei?" "Hai, now be still." "But... sensei. Will he not kill him?" Tanya's Japanese, though improving greatly over the years, still left much to be desired. Fortunately, her sentances were mostly passable, though hardly eloquent. "Shhh..." Sensei knew best. Among many things, a certain sense of obedience had worked its way into Tanya's persona. It wasn't programmed, however, it had built over time. She'd experienced time and time again that sensei was always right... well, mostly right anyway. And he could knock her silly at a moment's notice if he had to. Giichi's voice noted softly, "These two are the bitterest of enemies... spawned unknowingly by their dojo's senseis. One of them doesn't even know of the cold rivalry kindled between them." he nodded solemnly, "They are the finest of the Environmental Extremes Dojo, Hibiki Ryouga and Muhoshin Ryo." Tanya loomed on, exhaling gently as Ryo finally lowered his umbrella,  
seemingly influenced by the protests from his sister. She nodded, "Ah... so they hate each other? Why?" "It is a hatred kindled by jealousy. Both are fine warriors, yet one is highly revered for his strength and ability to learn quickly, while the other is constantly chided for being less of a fighter." "Oh, is that so? Ryouga is the one who replaced Ryo as best, ne?" Giichi nodded solemnly. "That is rather unfair." her eyes followed Ryo as he stalked off,  
looking rather peeved, "Megane had mentioned Ryo had a rival for who was better. He never went into depth on it though. Why didn't he kill Ryouga?" "Eh?" "That would have solved his problems! Then he would be best again." Giichi shook his head, "Who's to say why? Perhaps it was honor that kept him. Or maybe fear? It could be any number of reasons. I like to think it was a sense of honor." he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "To kill such a fine combatant in cold blood would disgrace his dojo." Nodding, she admitted, "I'm glad he did not, we would have to come in and clean up." she giggled. It was a joke, though poorly worded at best. "Ano... h-hai..." it was a joke lost to Giichi completely, "Anyhow. I had come to remind you, your new training begins tomorrow. Please, I would like a show of dedication, ne? I know this is your free time, but a bit of practice never hurts." "Hai.. *grumble* I will do that soon, sensei." "Very good. For now, I bid you good day." The words 'goodbye sensei' didn't make it from her lips before Giichi disappeared completely from sight, "Damn, he's so good..." thinking a bit further on it, she shrugged, "I will have to ask Megane more about it later." With that, Tanya turned her attention to some of the other fights. If nothing else, UWSMA was well known for battles which looked either terrifyingly deadly, or tragically hysterical. Her sights fell to a French battle mime dueling with an American fighting plumber. This was decidedly going to be entertaining.

******  
PART 4 One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya, I'm Gonna Getcha...  
******

It couldn't have been more than a week or two later, Tanya now found herself in friendly competition for a 'best of class' title. It was mostly for bragging rights, but it was far more to her, as no battle of any sort was ever friendly with Tanya. She fought to win, and that was that. This also happened to be the last step in her newest training, as well as the final bout in the minor tourney. Her opponent: A young Asian boy who'd seemed to have mastered the art of yard maintenance. Looking her enemy over coldly, she knew he was good. Damn good. She'd seen him fight before and knew his weapons of choice were generally a HUGE pair of hedge trimmers (Nasty at best) and various rakes and shovels. Luckily for Tanya, he never got his hands on a weedwhacker... The boy took up a defensive crouch, trimmer in hand. He snapped it open and shut for effect, and had he been trying to intimidate... it was successfull. The boy in question was known only as 'Kumade', and Tanya had never heard him called anything else. He stood about five feet tall, and really didn't look all that intimidating. Rather, almost on the innoffensive side. The huge hedgers belied this otherwise 'mostly harmless'  
appearance. And, to reiterate, even she had to admit he was good. The bout was to 3 hits, and Tanya tensed nervously as she anticipated the call. This would decide her ranking and show her sensei that she really was the best. This wasn't just a tourney, it was status! And status was very important. She resisted the urge to jump as the word 'fight' left her sensei's lips. Kumade lept into action, lunging high with the clippers, then sweeping low at Tanya's feet. She was caught only slightly off guard and managed a clumsy, awkward cartwheel to avoid both. Tanya returned to her stance,  
carefully twirling her sweep brooms. This was going to be a long,  
grueling fight... -  
20 minutes went by, and yet the bout still raged on. The two stood in their ready positions once more. Kumade had just scored a point, and it had been a good, solid point at that. Tanya held her now bleeding side,  
where a rake had ripped across it like a tiger's claws. This was the point that brought Kumade's total up to two, tying him with Tanya's score. The other point had only grazed her arm, barely bruising the limb. Tanya's points had been a bit nastier, as one tore open Kumade's shirt and left uncountable deep scratches diagonally across his chest, while her first point gashed across his leg, leaving the boy with a slight limp. It amazed Tanya that, with his injuries, Kumade didn't surrender. But now, with the score tied, she knew for certain that was out of the question. (Owww... bugger got me one good there, 'e did... no matter.  
'e'll be an easy win for certain now. 'e's limpin' far worse now than before, and that last point was jus' luck, 't'was...) she held her sweep-brooms to either side once more, again ready.  
Giichi eyed the two carefully... it had been by far the bloodiest, and most dedicated fight he'd seen in some time. He watched carefully, the injuries so far were but flesh wounds, deep as they were, the two would easily survive the bout. That was, unless the last blow scored caused great damage. As he watched Tanya, he could see a bit of fury building,  
unhealthy fury, perhaps even deadly. Giichi was concerned that she might lose it. He sighed, (And I am here to make certain she does not.) Kumade was far more disciplined, so Giichi didn't even give his demeanor a second thought. "Fight."  
The combatants tensed at the word, then...  
*Ka-BOOM! CRASH! CRASH!*  
Suddenly there were screams of panic as rocks and debris flew EVERYWHERE.  
Unable to resist the compulsion, Tanya looked up, "Wot th' bloody 'ell?" came her words... in english. "Wot is-* *ACK*"  
It was over in a flash. Something swept Tanya's feet out from under her, and she found herself on her back, pinned to the floor. Opening her eyes, she could just make out the hedgers that now held her in place by her neck, one blade to each side.  
"Full point! Victory to Kumade."  
"WOT? But that's not fair! I was distracted, I was!" she screamed in her Brittish tongue.  
A soft *thwack* was heard as Tanya again found a plunger suctioned to her face. Giichi spoke softly, "It is your own fault, Noori-san. You allowed yourself to be distracted. In a real battle, it would have been your downfall. Kumade did not allow the disruption to affect him. The point is fair. You are an excellent fighter, but you still have much to learn." he plucked the plunger free and finished more softly, "I am sorry."  
Kumade pulled his trimmers free of the floor and offered his hand to Tanya.  
Tanya snarled mildly and pushed herself to a stand. It had been a humiliating point, one that hadn't hurt her at all physically, but damaged her ego far more than anyone other than her sensei could see. The girl finally looked to see what had lost her the match. Her eyes settled... on Ryouga.  
Ryouga had been lost, he'd suddenly remembered his vow to find and punish Ranma for all the suffering caused to him. Leaving the UWSMA had proven far more difficult than finding it to begin with. When finding doors came to be a problem, Ryouga had taken to busting through the walls.  
This was one such instance, as he casually busted down one wall and made his way through the housekeeping/maintenance dojo. He managed little more than a muffled "'scuse me." as he plodded through.  
Tanya glared icily at boy... and emblazoned him to her memory. She couldn't fault her opponent for being more focused, or her sensei for calling the point. But, she COULD blame the jerk who'd caused her the loss in concentration. Her voice growled very low, "Ryouga... I will not forgive you this indignity." and flinched only slightly as he continued on through the opposite wall, leaving her dojo in shambles, "Where ever you go... one day... Hibiki Ryouga, I WILL avenge this slight." Tanya always was just a bit intense.  
Giichi saw the cold stare Tanya now wore, and looked on as the finest of the External Extremes dojo tromped off into the distance. He shrugged and thought to himself, (If what I have heard of him is true, the revenge she desires will never be fulfilled. How does one find a person who can not find himself? Ah well.) "Noori-san, we will begin your retraining tomorrow, when your wounds are less apparent. Both of you, walk to the health dojo and get the care you need. Kumade, you have proven your worth.  
Your new training will begin in two days, use your rest well. Now go."  
"But..." Tanya was furious, but could do little to nothing. She wanted to go beat the crap out of that Hibiki punk, but could not refuse her teacher, "Hai, Sensei." she growled heavily and managed a forced bow.  
Kumade bowed deeply, holding his his chest and wincing, "Hai, Sensei."  
They made their way towards the health dojo, with Tanya still seething.  
Giichi shook his head and eyed his dojo narrowly. His gaze fell upon the stunned students who even STILL looked about in amazed bewilderment,  
"Well?" he called out, "Why are you all gawking? Get to work on repairs immediately!" this was the housekeeping and maintenance dojo after all,  
the students here were more capable than those of any other. The way Giichi saw it, repairs should be simple.

Four months came and went... and Tanya had found stalking Ryo to be a wonderful pastime. She had managed to drag out of Megane (Info that was hard-gotten, even if he was her Boyfriend) that his brother Ryo would be leaving to hunt Ryouga soon. Since then, she'd shadowed Ryo stealthily whenever she could. It had almost become her hobby over the last month.  
And she was fairly certain Ryo was oblivious to her presence. Then again,  
after observing him, she was of the opinion he was pretty oblivious in general.  
Ryo wasn't anywhere near as inattentive as Tanya made him out to be, but pressing matters kept him from caring. He would soon have Ryouga in his sights, and he would avenge all his humiliation on the 'prodigy' who had removed him from his top ranking. And all else was unimportant. Ryo never noticed the dark-clad girl who now followed him, and he blatantly ignored any instinct which pointed it out to him. That, and Tanya was truely good at what she did.  
Today, the tedium of shadowing Ryo had changed. This was the day Ryo was to leave in pursuit of Ryouga, and Tanya was ready for it. Perched in the rafters of the Environmental Extremes dojo, she craned ever so slightly to see the paperwork being handed to her patsy. She shouldered a modest pack of her belongings and was ready for the journey. Tanya thought quietly to herself, ( AlI need is fer Ryo t' lead me right t' Ryouga...  
then I can take over from there! I 'aven't forgotten th' indignity and 'umiliation that jerk caused me! 'e's mine, 'e is! And rightfully so.  
Such a loss of face b'fore me sensei is unforgiveable!) she looked on as Ryo pocketed the papers and stalked off, (Ah! Soon, I will be avenged.  
This mission, by all rights, shoulda been mine.)  
Pouncing soundlessly from rafter to rafter, she dropped to a graceful stand before the door and quickly made her way through it. She was on Ryo's trail, and most certainly would not lose him. Well, this would have been true had it not been for the familiar *thwack* and accompanied darkness, "Wot th'-*?"  
Once more, Tanya found herself pulling at the plunger now hugging her face. Her words were probably not pleasant, not that anyone could hear them.  
A voice spoke up, "And just where do you think you are going, Noori-san?"  
Tanya found the plunger rather harshly yanked from her face.  
"You weren't planning to leave with a word, now, were you? I had thought you a bit more responsible than that." Giichi showed no real emotion, but he made his disappointment more than apparent.  
Tanya scanned the area, then the horizon, no sign of Ryo... at all. She cursed to herself in english, then managed in her best Japanese, "I lost him! I can not follow now! Why did you do this, sensei?"  
Frowning, Giichi placed one hand on the girl's shoulder. He shook his head slowly, "Your duties lie here with your dojo, Noori-san. Would you shame your dojo by abandoning it?"  
"But...! He's going fter Ryouga! That should be my fight!"  
"Iie, it shouldn't be anyone's fight. Your failure that day was just that: your own. You allowed distraction to be your downfall. In a way, it was a valuable lesson. I suspect your concentration will never again be so easily shaken in the future."  
Tanya stammered helplessly, "But... but... but..."  
"I do not approve of this 'hunt' they've sent Muhoshin on, but it isn't my place to object. Those in my dojo, however, I have some say in their doings. You will stay and keep with your teachings." the sensei seemed to glare almost, he wasn't about to allow one of his prized pupils get caught up in what he viewed as 'foolish revenge', nor did he want her to have any dealings what so ever with Ryo. It was bad enough she was being courted by one related to him, "The mission they've sent Muhoshin on is mindless, and encourages spite. You will have nothing to do with it."

"Do I make myself clear?"  
"Hai..."  
"You had best mean that, Tanya. You're one of the finest." he didn't mind bolstering her ego, it wasn't a lie.  
"Hai, sensei."  
Giichi nodded, "Good. Now, join me in morning practice." the sensei walked away casually, knowing full well the girl's sense of duty would compel her properly.  
Tanya did a final scan of the surroundings. Nothing. Ryo was just gone. She grumbled and followed her sensei, just as she was told. But her thoughts still lingered, (This ain't over, Ryouga. I'll find ya, I will.  
Ya 'aven't gotten out o' this yet.)  
The two disappeared into their dojo.

********  
EPILOGUE ********

3 years later. Present day.

Nabiki frowned, looking at the Noori file. Somewhat unsatisfactory.  
Just on a whim she flipped back to the UWSMA file and glanced it over.

-  
Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts (UWSMA)  
Membership: unknown Known Members in Nerima:  
Hibiki Ryouga - (?)  
Muhoshin Kyoko - student Muhoshin Megane - student Muhoshin Ryo - student Muhoshin Ryoko - student History: The UWSMA was founded hundreds of years ago as a school to train martial artists on how to use any sort of weaponry, and handle any sort of environment, mainly for the purpose of training guardians to men of great importance. As time passed, for unknown reasons, the UWSMA gradually faded from it's once prominent position, but still exists today.  
Possible heavy influence on the strange techniques found in Nerima (i.e.  
Handwriting Martial Arts, Tea Ceremony Martial Arts, Cheerleading Martial Arts). Reported to have been recently disbanded by unknown events but getting ready for a revival.  
-

She quickly added in the names Oshimu Giichi and Noori Tanya, then closed the file again. Nabiki mulled over the possibilities on this case.  
Why was Noori after Ryouga? Old rival? Fiancee? She laughed out loud briefly at that. _How Ranma-esque_ she mused. Still, there was no information yet that would bend Noori to her will. That was the entire point of her 'files'. No sense in lingering any further, Kuno was waiting and she had photos to deal, and had a feeling today she'd make a killing.

Meanwhile, across the street...

Tanya eyed the woman exiting the cafe with a measure of suspicion. She'd been patrolling around the neighborhood when she spotted her ex-boyfriend, Megane, talking to a girl down below. That was enough for her to be suspicious of what they were both up to. Or was it? Maybe she was just being paranoid. (Ah, s'nothin' to worry'bout) she reassured herself, then sprinted off across the rooftops. (Megs went 'bout this way,  
methinks... 'ey oughta lead me straight't Ryo... who oughta lead me straight't Ryouga. 'An when I find'em...) Tanya grinned as she sprinted off in pursuit. She had a Hibiki to find, and had a feeling today she'd make a killing.

-the end... and the beginning-

========================================================================= WRITER'S COMMENTS:  
Well, here it is. This is the first and only thing I've made public. I don't know how good it is, I guess it could be considered a first attempt. This isn't the first thing I've ever written, but all else I've done has been exclusive to a small writing club, or stories that have never been made public. Anyway, I owe a lot to RPM for this one, without his aid and persistant prodding... this wouldn't have been written at all. Just another idea on a back burner somewhere. Also, my thanks to him for the editing and critisism, and putting up with my procrastination ^_^;. It's not fully a Ranma 1/2 fic exactly, more of an introduction... and I gotta admit, I was rather afraid to put it out at all. Ah well, never know until you try, ne? ========================================================================== EDITOR'S COMMENTS: rebirth of a character.

Well, it started like this...

Several months ago I was in my Nth Total Rewrite of The More Things Change (N being a number higher than 20 but lower than infinity) and it was FINALLY flowing nicely. A few friends of mine helped me get unjammed from severe writer's block. One friend of mine, I was encouraging her to start writing. She had an old fic that I read, it read fairly good, and I thought she could certainly do some stuff now now.

And so she brings up an old character design. A girl that uses England Chimney Sweep stuff to fight, and has a grudge against a certain Lost Boy that was wanndering through her place and caused a mess.

That, by itself, was a fair plot. We both realized, thought, that she'd be a PERFECT candidate for the Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts.  
That, and I needed another rival to make Ryouga's life hell. After ALOT of prodding, she started writing, and the final result is, imho, a pretty nifty character for the ranmaverse. I hope you enjoyed it, I certainly did =) C&amp;C -very- much appreciated.

-rpm

btw, bonus points to whoever can name the artists that sang the titles to the story AND the four parts =)  



	15. Nerima's Other Passion

-  
Nerima's Other Passion

By Grayson Towler -

Night had fallen in Nerima, and with it came the requisite dreams, starlight, and Martial Artist antics. The citizenry at large tried, as always, to ignore the occasional thump of feet which was still audible through the reinforced and heavily soundproofed rooftops favored in the local architecture. Children huddled in their beds and tried not to be afraid when a manic peal of laughter echoed through the night. The stalwart members of the Nerima Police Force (all three of them) hung out in a secluded basement,  
drinking beer, playing darts, and pretending they'd never heard of "assault and battery."

To the casual observer, it seemed that the night belonged to the Marital Artists. It was not a stretch to say that the day belonged to them as well. And this was as it should be,  
for in Nerima there exists a passion for the Martial Arts which would have made ancient Sparta seem like a hippie commune. The eternal struggles, the hopeless romances, the devastating techniques, the fights to the (supposedly) death - these were the day-to-day dramas, comedies, and tragedies which gave Nerima its life and vitality. Most action films did very poorly at the local box offices.

But, contrary to popular belief, the night was not wholly the domain of the Marital Artists. There were others who moved in the shadows, silent and invisible, always watching,  
always ready to act. Even the Martial Artists, with their keen senses and awareness of danger, had barely glimpsed them. Tonight, they were waiting, as they always did. Cloaked in the blackness of night and shadow, they waited with tense anticipation. As always, it was one person in particular who carried their fondest hopes and secret desires...

-  
Hibiki Ryouga was wandering the night, brooding. This would hardly have been a surprise to those who knew him. Nor would it have come as a terrible surprise to learn what it was that he was getting himself into such a lather about. As if to alleviate any doubt (not that he thought anybody was watching him), he threw a punch at a nearby concrete wall, shattering it like glass, and shouted the name:

"SAOTOME RANMA! CURSE YOU!"

Oh sure, they had buried the hatchet about a lot of their past grievances. Ryouga was cured of the pig, he had let go of Akane, and the bread feud was long over... but there was still no person alive who could annoy Ryouga quite so thoroughly as Ranma.

It had started when Ranma had been boasting about his supposedly inevitable success in the upcoming King of Nerima tournament. The sound of Ranma stroking his own ego was a thousand times worse than the sound of fingernails raking the surface of a chalkboard, as far as Ryouga was concerned.

"Hey, if it's got Martial Arts in it," Ranma had asserted smugly, "I can't lose!"

It had been at this juncture that Ryouga had felt it necessary to remind Ranma of the Anything Goes Martial Arts Obstacle Course Race. Sure, Ryouga's memories of the whole thing were bittersweet (as were virtually all of his memories), since he had been unable to take advantage of the trip to China he had won in the race (couldn't find the airport). But that didn't matter, not really. He had WON that time. He had beaten Ranma in a Martial Arts competition, fair and square. Ranma seemed to conveniently forget that.

"Aw, that wasn't really a fight," Ranma had said dismissively. "Besides, you'd have never made it to the finish line if I hadn't helped ya out along the way, right P-Chan?"

He had yelled at Ranma to shut up, still petrified that Akane would someday figure out the whole P-Chan thing and exact a terrible revenge. (As always, Akane had completely missed the reference, and had simply bashed Ranma on the head for picking on Ryouga.) And then the conversation had moved on. Ryouga's thoughts, however, had been stuck on the issue all day, and well into the evening.

Ranma's ego. Ranma's damned luck. Ranma's victories.

There were times when he had come SO close to beating Ranma fair and square. Just a little more luck, just a little more time... he KNEW he had what it took to beat Ranma. Ryouga ran through his memories of so many fights with his bitter rival. He was sure that if Akane hadn't interrupted their fight at the Martial Arts Figure Skating Tournament ("The Charlotte Cup", indeed!), he would have defeated Saotome. So many times Ranma had escaped defeat because Ryouga had inconveniently turned into a pig. Then there was the time that Kuno had interrupted, and that other time that...

And so on. But he found, as he searched his memories, that he kept coming back to one particular day. He had just learned the bakusai ten-ketsu technique from Cologne, and he and Ranma had fought in the countryside. There had been no interruptions, no distractions... and he had ALMOST won. If only... if only...

Ryouga growled. If only Cologne had told him the true purpose of his training in the breaking point technique,  
rather than allowing him to believe that he could actually use the attack directly on Ranma. Ranma had survived the day because Ryouga had been telegraphing his attacks,  
attempting to get one good shot in with the bakusai ten-ketsu and end the fight in a single blow. Had he known that such an offensive strategy was worthless, he knew he would have beaten Ranma with conventional martial arts. Ranma's blows had glanced off him like a gentle rainfall that day. Gods, he had never felt that strong before...

Maybe he hadn't beaten Ranma then, but he'd sure as hell wiped that smug look off his face for a while.

Clearly, on the day of that fight, Ryouga's endurance had been at its peak. While his durability and strength had always remained higher than Ranma's, he knew that he had never been at quite that magnificent level of near-invulnerability since the time immediately after his week of brutal training with rock and rope. It only made sense, then, that if he were to match the intensity of Cologne's regimen - no, if he were to SURPASS it - then he would push his endurance past even the limits that he and Ukyou had tested when they had trained together in the countryside. Then, when it came time to fight in the tournament, his body would be like a piece of iron,  
impervious to even Ranma's strongest blows...

It would be painful, to be sure. But what was mere physical pain to one such as Hibiki Ryouga? What were a few nights of body-wrecking torture when compared with the opportunity to see that fear in Ranma's eyes again?

On the surface, Ryouga understood that there were other fighters in the King of Nerima tournament, but in his heart it was the same battle that he had been fighting for years: him against Ranma. This time, it was a tournament. This time, he wouldn't be turning into a pig. This time, there would be no interruptions. This time, there would be no place for Ranma to run. This time...

"SAOTOME RANMA! THIS time you will FALL!"

And with that, Ryouga took a running start, took a flying leap, and hit a concrete embankment head-first at full speed.

Muhoshin Ryo had been watching Ryouga for the better part of the evening, as was his occasional habit when he had no other matters of great import to attend (and when he had grown tired of arguing with his youngest sibling about possible alternatives to his current hairstyle). Accustomed as he was to Ryouga's violent mood swings and unpredictable shifts of direction, even he would not have guessed that Ryouga would, out of the blue, suddenly begin to fling himself head first into whatever solid objects he could find.

WHAM! This time it was the side of a parking garage. Ryouga met it spread-eagle after springing off a street lamp. Ryo watched with morbid fascination as his rival peeled himself out of the vaguely Ryouga-shaped crater in the wall, staggered around woozily, and then backed up to take another flying leap at the damaged wall.

"RANMA!" he shouted. WHAM!

The facade collapsed. Ryouga was buried under an avalanche of concrete and rebar. Ryo watched, a curious twinkle in his (Gosunkugi-like) eyes, as Ryouga extricated himself from the wreckage, laughed like a maniac, then charged off in a random direction.

At first, Ryo couldn't fathom what the idiot thought he was doing. It seemed like the lost boy was intent on beating himself to a pulp. While Ryo could certainly understand THAT sentiment, he somehow doubted that Ryouga was attempting to end his own life in this rather unorthodox fashion. It also didn't explain why he was shouting his friend's name, over and over, in what was assuredly rage. Was he hallucinating, perhaps? It seemed there was always the odd poison, potion, or drug floating around Nerima. Perhaps Ryouga had gotten a whiff of something...

Ryo watched as Ryouga staggered towards a fairly busy street. His rival wobbled a bit as he watched the cars go by, then seemed to notice the tunnel several dozen meters away. An idea seemed to seize him, and he took a flying leap onto the top of the next delivery truck which passed by. He found his footing on the top of the truck, turned and faced the upcoming stone lip of the tunnel with arms akimbo, and was summarily slammed into the overhang like a bandana-clad wrecking ball.

Ryo, with great effort, managed to bite back a bark of derisive laughter.

Ryouga's body fell from the tunnel overhang onto the road,  
where he was immediately run over by a bus coming the other way. He skittered off the road and into a nearby park,  
slamming to a halt against a thick tree trunk. Ryo approached cautiously, and was astonished to hear the boy snickering.

"Heh... goo... good one!" Ryouga was muttering to himself. "I wonder... if I can find that tunnel again..."

He wasn't hallucinating. He knew what he was doing. What on earth could he possibly...

As Ryouga staggered to his feet and began a futile search for the tunnel, Ryo finally divined the answer. Ryouga was training. It was his own demented version of the boulder-on-a-rope bakusai ten-ketsu training that Ryo had witnessed in China. He was training, toughening himself up for the King of Nerima tournament.

The revelation affected Ryo on several levels, though he would never have admitted it. On one level, he was tremendously annoyed at Hibiki. The idiot was obviously doing this because he was fixated on beating Saotome. Ryo was, to a degree, insulted. It would have been gratifying if Ryouga had been shouting "Muhoshin!" as he battered his way around Nerima. After all, Ryo spent every other waking hour obsessing about how he would best Hibiki. It would, he felt, have only been appropriate if Hibiki had returned the favor.

Why would he need to? a small voice in Ryo's head asked snidely. After all, he's always beaten you...

A small, violent mental struggle ensued. Ryo didn't put up with that kind of talk from anybody, even his own subconscious. Still...

Still, at another level, he could not help but be grudgingly impressed by the spectacle of self-abuse before him. That Ryouga had inhuman endurance came as no surprise, though it was always rather jarring to see it so spectacularly displayed. It was Ryouga's willingness to put himself through immense physical punishment for training that made Ryo uneasy. He could cover it all he wanted by calling Hibiki an idiot, a fool, a madman, an addle-pated masochist... but the fact was that his rival was showing a level of reckless bravery that he, Ryo, would never be able to match.

Ryo knew that if he followed Ryouga's example, if he trained himself in taking impacts with that kind of rigorous abandon, that he would also benefit from it. But he also knew that he would never be able to commit to abusing himself in that fashion. He liked to think of it as using his head for strategy rather than for a battering ram. He liked to interpret this as another sign that he was smarter than Ryouga.

He didn't want to listen to what the voice in his head that sounded like Sensei Miyaji had to say about the whole matter...

Hibiki had not found his tunnel, but he had found something else while Ryo was musing. The lost boy was atop a high-diving board, which was in turn positioned above a dry swimming pool. At first, Ryo thought the idiot was just going to swan-dive into the concrete, but then he realized that Ryouga was fumbling with a long rope. Hibiki kept checking the pool, measuring off a length of rope, muttering to himself, and generally trying to focus his mind through his punch-drunk haze. Finally, seemingly satisfied, he stood up, took a test-hop on the board, and hurled himself into the air.

"RANMA!" he bellowed as he plummeted almost twenty meters into the concrete.

Then Ryo saw the purpose of the rope. The other end had been affixed to the high diving board, which bent to the limit of its flexibility at the terminus of Ryouga's dive. A moment after he pounded into the concrete, the board snapped back. The recoil hurled the lost boy skywards again, up through the air past the board itself. And down he came once more.

Ryo watched as the diving board dribbled Ryouga like a basketball against the bottom of the dry swimming pool. Hibiki howled confused battle cries along the way, concrete shattered, and the high dive creaked on his foundations. Something somewhere had to give... and it ended up being the high dive. As Ryouga made his descent (after who knew how many repetitions), the whole platform groaned with fatigue. Instead of snapping him back into the air, the diving apparatus - supports, ladder, pillar, board and all -  
plunged down after him into the pool. The thunder of destruction echoed through the night.

Almost a full minute passed, and Ryo was actually beginning to hope that Hibiki had truly damaged himself in this extravagant gesture. But then he emerged, covered with the dust of pulverized concrete. His clothes were tattered, his hair was a tangle, and he was covered with bruises and small cuts... but he was laughing.

Ryouga turned and surveyed the wreckage of the pool, nodding in satisfaction. "You'll see, Ranma," he growled, then coughed up a lungful of dust. "You'll see..."

Still smiling, the lost boy staggered towards a tree trunk,  
found a soft spot of grass, and collapsed into a deep sleep.

Ryo approached the recumbent martial artist, cautiously at first, but knowing full well that Ryouga slept like a log even under the best of circumstances. After that ordeal,  
he'd probably sleep through a natural disaster. Ryo stood over his hated enemy, glaring down at him, and thinking.

He had been in this position before. He had refrained from killing Ryouga in his sleep when he'd had the chance,  
knowing that such an attack would not truly bring him the satisfaction that he so keenly needed. But tonight he was not so sure if he shouldn't just get it over with right here. There's nothing quite like the certain knowledge that you're going to be facing a true maniac in battle. Ryo had always known that his rival had the mental fitness of a schizophrenic emu, but he had always been loathe to accept that this trait actually gave Hibiki any actual advantage in a confrontation. Still, he wasn't quite as certain tonight.  
Even Ryo had to admit he couldn't match Ryouga for pure lunacy, so he'd have to rely on his intellect, which he was confident was far superior to Hibiki's. And the intelligent thing to do would be to kill the fool right here and now.

Or perhaps there was another way. He might be able to turn Hibiki's own insanity against him. If he gave Ryouga an injury here, something that would not completely cripple him but would take a long time to heal, something that the tenacious madman would not allow to stop him in the tournament, something that Ryo could turn to his advantage... Yes, that was good. Ryouga would think he'd hurt himself in this absurd "training," nobody would know the better. Everybody would see Ryo triumph over his hated foe once and for all. Ryo didn't mind stacking the deck in his favor...

Ryo had a rather comprehensive understanding of human anatomy. He made a decision about just what sort of injury he wanted to inflict. He stole a quick glance about to make sure nobody was watching, then raised his umbrella above Ryouga's prone form. The needle-sharp tip of the umbrella gleamed silver in the moonlight...

"Hold it right there!"

Ryo whirled in shock towards the voice. He was astonished to see well over a dozen figures emerging from the shadows,  
cloaked in black, wearing... hard hats? They were adorned with tool boxes and tool belts, but there was not a single clink of metal to be heard. Ryo couldn't believe that he'd been taken unaware by a single person, much less a whole group of them. How long had they been there? His anger began to rise.

One of them, a small woman, rushed to Ryouga's side and knelt, tenderly inspecting him for wounds. The rest moved in, surrounding Ryo in an unmistakably threatening fashion. Ryo refused to be intimidated. "I don't know who you people are," he said casually, "but it would be best for your collective health if you took this opportunity to leave the way that you came."

"You stay away from him!" the woman hissed.

Ryo raised an eyebrow. "This is not your business, whoever you are." His plan was probably ruined with so many potential witnesses, but he refused to be backed down.

A man stepped forward from the black-clad crowd. He had a severe face and his eyes burned with an intense fervor. "Normally, we are sworn not to interfere. But tonight,  
Muhoshin Ryo, we cannot allow this travesty!"

They knew his name. A large band of ... whatever they were... gifted with stealth that would make a ninja look like a pregnant hippo, and he didn't even know who they were. This was starting to get on his nerves. "Who," he asked, trying to keep his irritation from showing, "do you people think you are?"

"In Nerima," the man said, "there exist two great passions. You are of the tribe that represents the Martial Artists,  
who travel in the light, who fight the battles. But we are the ones who travel in darkness, never revealed, ever silent. We are the yang to the Martial Artists' yin, we are the balancing force at the other end of the see-saw. Without us, you could not exist. Without you, we could never survive."

"What on Earth are you talking about?"

The woman tending to Ryouga spoke up. "We are the Nerima Public Works Corps."

Ryo blinked in surprise. "Beg your pardon?"

"When you Martial Artists battle, when the ground trembles as you modern titans clash, who do you think repairs the damage? When you shatter a wall, demolish a tree, or make a crater in a street, who do you think it is that patches the concrete, plants the seed, or paves over the asphalt?"

The man (who Ryo assumed to be their leader) nodded. "That is correct. We are the menders, who come at night and make all things anew."

Ryo was slightly taken aback. Until now, it hadn't really occurred to him how the damage that was done in the multitude of Martial Arts fights got mended. He felt rather embarrassed that he had failed to consider this before (he shouldn't have - it's a blind spot that all Nerima Martial Artists have. The same blind spot exists in certain inhabitants of Graviton City, where a similar Public Works Corps also exists). Still, he might well turn this to his advantage...

"I see," he said. "Then we owe you a great deal. But I assure you, if you let me continue my work for tonight, life will be considerably easier for you. After all, this..." he gestured at Ryouga, mentally fishing for a suitably vitriolic term, "... this moronic lunatic probably causes more damage to Nerima than all the other Martial Artists combined. If I eliminate him..."

"We know that!" the woman snapped. "Of course we know that! Why do you think we love him so?"

Ryo blinked. "What?"

"Don't you see?" the leader explained. "We live to repair damage! It is our great joy in life. Ever since this...  
this wonderful, destructive boy came into our lives, we have had the opportunity to practice our skills and techniques like never before."

The woman smiled fondly down at the still-sleeping Ryouga. "We have followed him since he first arrived. Oh, we don't interfere directly, but we've helped him in secret ways,  
when we could. We've left food out for him when he's gotten lost, or hot water when he's needed it, and helped him find his clothes and gear when he's lost them..."

Hibiki loses his clothes? Ryo wondered. Is he even a bigger idiot than I thought?

The others murmured their agreement around Ryo. "He was always great," one commented, "but once he learned that bakusai ten-ketsu technique... well, there's nobody else who can wreak such utter havoc."

Ryo narrowed his eyes. "He's not the ONLY one who uses that technique, you know."

The woman gave him a cold gaze. "Oh yes, Muhoshin, we know you can do it too. But you don't cause a fraction of the damage that our beloved Ryouga does."

"That's right," another said. "You're nothing compared to him."

That tore it. There was probably no single phrase which could ignite Ryo's temper as quickly as that one. He didn't care about witnesses now. "Get out of my way," he snapped at the members of the Public Work Corps, brandishing his umbrella, "or I shall be more than willing to give you a piece of what Hibiki has coming to him tonight."

The woman leaned protectively over Hibiki. "No! Bad enough that Shampoo is gone! I won't let you take him!"

Ryo scoffed. "Madame, I'm sure I don't care about which personal hygienic products you have misplaced. If I have to dispose of you to get to Hibiki... so be it!" He drew back his umbrella, ready knock her out of his path.

"Hisoka Electrical Wiring Strike!"

Ryo leaped backwards as one of the shadowy figures stepped forth. A spray of electrical wires and cables flew outwards from the man's extended hand, snaking their way towards Ryo like living things. He swiped with his umbrella, knocking the bulk of them aside as he dodged the remainder. "All right," he snarled, "if you insist..."

There was an easy way to disperse a crowd of foes. "GOU-RYUGEKI-KEN!" he shouted, spraying down a shower of wild ki blasts towards the assembled crew. Some of them would also assuredly strike Ryouga, but that didn't bother Ryo much...

The energy rain pelted the turf, sending up chunks of sod and grass, but the Nerima Public Works Corps were nowhere to be seen.

Damn, he thought, forgot about their stealth techniques.  
He looked over to Ryouga to see if the errant blasts had done much damage. To his surprise, it seemed that a brick wall which had been hastily erected between himself and Ryouga had absorbed the attack.

"Impressive," he said, "but if you think mere brick can keep me out..."

Suddenly, an extremely large and muscular member of the Public Works Corps stood before him (practically materializing out of the shadows in a most disconcerting fashion). "I am Masataro, the steel-bender," he announced. "Think that you can pass me?"

The giant reached for Ryo, but he was far too slow to catch the expert Martial Artist. Ryo took a quick swipe at the large man's right knee, not hard enough to break the bone but hard enough to topple him. Masataro dropped to his knees with a grunt of pain. As Ryo drew back for a strike which would render the nuisance unconscious, though, heard a series of rapid clicks and bangs.

He turned, and discovered to his astonishment that his arm -  
umbrella and all - had been trapped in a chaotic tangle of shiny new pipes, protruding from the ground. Another of the Public Works Corps stood beside the pipe prison, twirling a hex-wrench on the end of his finger.

"Gokomatsu Special Instant Plumbing Defense," he commented.

Ryo growled and energized his free fist with ki energy. He slammed the brass and iron prison with a sweeping blow,  
tearing free bolts and fittings. With another blow, he wrenched his arm and umbrella free of the twisted trap. The plumber backed away from the enraged Martial Artist with his eyes wide. Ryo took a step forward to deliver a rapid punch, but suddenly discovered that his feet were rooted to the spot.

"Hiromasa Ultimate Quick-Drying Cement Technique!" came the explanation. Ryo's legs were encased up to the knees in solid concrete.

Ryo's frustration level was on the rise. "Bakusai Ten-Ketsu!" he barked, focusing the breaking-point strike through the tip of his umbrella. The concrete prison exploded.

"Two-Fisted Caulking Gun Attack!" another one shouted. Ryo whirled and opened his umbrella like a spinning shield. Twin streams of thick spackle struck the umbrella and sprayed off to either side in a shower of irregular white blobs.

"Hammer and Nail Rapid-Fire Technique!" came the call of another Public Worker. Ryo swiveled and ducked under the stream of nails which lanced through the air towards him. He noted, with a certain degree of grudging respect, that the attacker wasn't using a nail gun - she threw handfuls of nails into the air and struck them with her hammer at impressive speeds. The flying nails embedded themselves in a neat row in the wood of a tree behind him.

Ryo took a step back, attempting to assess the foes arranged around him, when something took a hold of him and hurtled him into the air. One second he had been standing on solid ground, and the next he was locked in the branches of a cherry tree. Who had thrown him up here...?

"Kozakura Instant Cherry Tree Ascension," came the answer. He disentangled himself from the tree and dropped to the ground, in time to see the tree finish the last few inches of its explosive growth. Am I dreaming? he wondered. Did they really just grow a tree right under my feet?

The Nerima Public Works Corps had arranged themselves defensively in front of Ryouga once more. Their leader spoke. "As you can see, our Public Works Techniques are every bit as refined as your own combat skills. They must be, if we are to keep pace with you Martial Artists."

Ryo sighed. Sometimes, it just didn't pay to let your anger take over. There were over a dozen of these fanatics arrayed before him. Defeating them could take all night,  
and he had lost the momentum to keep going with such a futile struggle. "So, Hibiki has a crew of secret protectors," he said. "You understand, of course, that I intend to rid the world of that fanged annoyance. If you seek to get in my way..."

"We are pledged not to interfere in the clashes between Martial Artists," the leader asserted.

Ryo smirked. "Oh? And what would you call this?"

The woman who had been hovering over Ryouga answered. "When you switch from being a Martial Artist to an assassin, all bets are off!"

"I wasn't going to..." Ryo shrugged. "Never mind. Have it your way. But I intend to bury this cretin, and I intend to do it soon. You lot are entitled to put flowers on his grave when I'm done, but if you interfere in our fight..." He let the threat dangle, unspoken.

"We understand," the leader said. "Even if it means losing our beloved Hibiki Ryouga, we shall not interfere."

"Very well," Ryo nodded. He felt he had managed to save enough face in this whole sorry encounter to make a dignified departure. "So long, Nerima Public Works Corps. It's been... educational."

Ryouga struggled his way back to consciousness shortly after the first rays of dawn had struck his face. He experienced his customary wave of disorientation, uncertain of where he was or how he had ended up sleeping here. Discovering that he was outdoors, on a soft bed of grass, with the morning songs of birds in the air was a pleasant change from some of the surprises to which he'd awakened in the past.

He rose to his feet, yawning and stretching. He was somewhat sore from his training, but it was a pleasant sort of soreness that felt almost comforting. For a moment his mind tried to go back to its previous train of thought (i.e., rage towards Ranma), but then his stomach intervened with some pressing demands regarding breakfast.

Hope I can find Ukyou's place, he thought. As he was turning to leave, he almost failed to notice the green apple at his feet. Mmm. Must be my lucky day.

Ryouga picked up the ripe fruit, polished it up with a bandana, and took a bite. He leaned against a cherry tree,  
surveying the pristine beauty of the park for a moment. Sunlight glittered off the shiny rails of the high-dive platform in the empty pool nearby. Picking what he felt was a likely direction, he began his search for his home once again. As always, he was unaware of the eyes that followed his progress - the gazes of those who stood in the shadow,  
their hearts full of love and gratitude that he would never know.

end.

======================================= Author's Notes: =======================================

The More Things Change/The Pursuit of Happiness, by Rod M.,  
is probably my favorite running Ranma fanfic series. In order for this story to make sense, it is rather essential to have read those writings. This little story fits into the timeframe of The Pursuit of Happiness, shortly before the King of Nerima Martial Arts Tournament.

The origin of this story begins with my musings upon who fixes the damage done by local martial artists in the Ranma (and other) anime series. The Nerima Public Works Corps seemed the only logical conclusion. I figured that the only way that any community would put up with the sort of nonsense that goes on in Nerima was if there were a counter-balancing element to the destructive forces in play - an element which actually enjoyed dealing with the chaos and restoring the damaged property.

COPYRIGHT STUFF: All the Ranma characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko. Muhoshin Ryo and the King of Nerima Tournament were created by Rod M.

GRT - April 1998 grayson 


	16. Kings, Queens, and Assorted Pawns

-  
\- English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

-  
The Pursuit Of Happiness Act 2 Prelude Kings, Queens, and Assorted Pawns -

She had no idea what to say.

What do you tell someone when you unexpectedly wake up in the same bed with him? Especially when you might've been kissing him? Ukyou certainly had no idea. Her mind was a mess after the realization of the situation settled in.

Before they could talk about it, Ryouga got lost. He was stumbling around one moment, gone and probably off to Siberia the next. For better or worse, that's just how he was.

She didn't know whether to be mad or thankful.

What were they going to do? How did he feel about her? She wasn't even entirely sure how she felt about him. All she knew was that she missed him when he wasn't around.

Why did things have to get complicated? She didn't want this. Things were simple before, and that's the way she liked it.

Hey, wait a minute...

This was Ranma's fault. Definitely. If he'd just let her go home like she wanted to, this mess wouldn't have happened.

He was joking about her and Ryouga being romantically involved all the time. Could he have set them up?

Of course he could have. He was GENMA'S son. Maybe he thought he was doing his old friend a favor, but she TOLD him to keep his nose out, didn't she? She'd have to give him a good swift kick in the ass the next time she saw him. The jerk.

And so there she was, standing there at the crack of dawn, polishing her grill, staring at the sun.

And she still had no idea what to say.

Ryoga had no idea what to do.

This... absolutely nothing prepared him for the disaster that THIS might be. What was she thinking? Was she mad at him? Did she think he was a pervert? Was he a pervert? What if... what if he DID do something?!

He stopped where he was (in some urban street, he didn't even care where anymore) and leaned warily against the lamp post. Things were simple before. She was there. He worked for her. They kept each other company. She was his friend. He was her friend. Although sometimes, just sometimes, she made him feel light-headed and a bit self-conscious, and when she smiled it was just...

No. Nononono. That was the same line of thought that probably got him into this mess to start with.

*Sigh*

If only she-

No.

He didn't want to lose what he had, even if the reward might've been something better. The possibility of being alone again was something he couldn't bear to even think about.

With that inner conflict temporarily resolved, he had one thing left to worry about.

"What am I gonna say to her?"

"Say to who?"

Ryouga froze.

The voice was young, a bit sharp, and definitely female.

Surely, he thought, that couldn't be Ukyou.

He turned around.

It was.

"Um... er... nothing, never mind," said Ryouga. He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head, and laughed nervously yet again.

Ukyou didn't seem amused.

"Just in time to be late to school," she said with a frown.

She was clearly upset. He hated it when she was upset,  
and right now he was too tired to deal with it.

"Just... go ahead without me, okay?"

"Don't be stupid. You'll get lost again without me," she snapped.

"If you wait for me you'll just be late," argued Ryouga.

"I'm just trying to be nice, you jerk!" snapped Ukyou.

Ryouga threw his hands in the air. "THIS is what I was trying to avoid! Now you're late AND you're mad!"

"I wouldn't be mad if you weren't being stupid about this!"

"You're the one that's being stupid about this!"

"Just go and change already!" bellowed Ukyou. Without waiting for any more arguments, she grabbed him by the ear,  
stormed back into Ucchan's, and tossed him in his room.

The door slammed, equally by both parties. Ukyou took a few steps away from the door then leaned against the wall.

Well. Things were back to usual.

Thank goodness.

There was a part of her, a small part, that was disappointed. It screamed that this was one hell of a way to get out of the situation. Pretend it didn't happen? Nonsense!

She managed to ignore that voice.

Ukyou smiled, ever so slightly, and sighed in relief.

Were she able to see through walls, she'd see that Ryouga was too.

It was a fine morning, with skies that had that certain perfect balance of clouds and blue sky. The pleasant nature of this morning was lost to most, as they were busy rushing from point A to point B. Two individuals ignored the morning rush. They had a point A and a point B, but unlike the others they just didn't have strict time limits. Therefore, they were enjoying the morning.

At first glace, there were two young boys, both in suits,  
sitting at a table in a recently opened western style cafe. Upon closer inspection, one would notice that one suit was somewhat baggy and a little soot-stained, and the other was tailored to fit exactly and was spotless. After even further inspection, one would find out that the one in the soot-stained suit was, in fact, a girl.

If anyone were to ask if the boy and girl were a couple,  
a severe mauling (possibly to death) by both parties would have been the result.

As it stood, this was more of a negotiation for peace than a breakfast date.

"Noori, how very... surprising to se you," said the boy,  
a touch of acid in his voice.

The girl merely gave a one-eyed glare. "Muhoshin, up yours."

"Finally learned to say it in Japanese, I see."

Now that the opening insults were traded, they settled in for the morning meal. A waitress arrived a few seconds later and they placed their order.

"Kyoto omelette for me," said Ryo.

"Mt. Fuji special for me," said Noori.

"Separate checks," they said in unison.

After a brief puzzled look from the waitress, she departed, leaving the two to discuss current matters in peace.

"I assume you've registered to be in the King of Nerima tournament," said Ryo.

Noori nodded. "You?"

"Hibiki will be there. Can't pass up this opportunity."

"So until then... cease fire?" asked Noori.

"Unpleasant prospect," grumbled Ryo.

"It is only a few days away now," said Noori.

"Very true, very true."

There was a moment of silence as the two sipped their tea in a surprising moment of tranquility. They watched impassively as the people on the street buzzed back and forth in the 'rat race'. Neither martial artist envied the masses, considering them all a part of the life less interesting.

"It is generally known," said Ryo, "why I'm out to skewer Hibiki. Your motives, however, are a mystery. Care to tell your tale?"

Tanya thought about it, then shrugged.

She took a deep breath, then told it.

Ryo blinked.

"That's... it?" he asked.

Tanya scowled. "What do you mean, 'that's it'?!"

"That's it? That is all? Nothing else?" Ryo was expecting something rather earth-shattering, like, say,  
Ryouga being an ex-boyfriend, or perhaps a bitter rival. Neither was the case.

"Is there nothing more?" he asked again, clearly mocking her.

Noory 'hmph'ed, turned away from Muhoshin, and finished her tea. S'important to ME, an'that's enough.

"And people thought I was shallow."

Breakfast at Furinkan was not unlike the prelude to a boxing match. At first, a few people would wander in early,  
usually getting the good seats. These people were either the Accidentally Early or the Fanatically Early.

Manami was a part of the Accidental group.

She'd come to school earlier than she'd expected to, and had some time to kill. She grabbed a breakfast sandwich at the cafeteria and a soda, then looked for a good spot to relax for a bit.

While wandering around, she couldn't help but notice the growing crowd of students making their way to the front of the school.

Some were watching from the windows of classrooms, others were taking seats by the courtyard. Manami wondered what was going on as she wandered around the front doors, then noticed two girls waving at her.

"Hey, Manami! Over here!" yelled Yuka.

"Um, hi guys."

"C'mon, you'll miss the morning show," said Sayuri.

"Morning show? What morning show?" asked Manami.

The two girls stared at her.

"What action? Manami, you've been in this school for a couple of months and you DON'T know?" asked Sayuri.

"Um, no?"

Yuka grinned. "Come with us, then. We've got a good view and some binoculars."

The three walked up the stairs to the second floor, into one of the classrooms where Nabiki was watching out the window with binoculars while other girls were writing up numbers on the chalkboard and talking to other students.

The room was loud with the chatter of numbers. The exact nature of these numbers she couldn't tell.

"G'morning, boss," said Sayuri and Yuka.

"Good morning ladies," said Nabiki. "Looks to be a good show today. Our stars are fully rested and they know their lines."

"What show?" asked Manami timidly.

"Oh, Manami, didn't notice you there," said Nabiki.  
"Sorry about that."

"Not a lot of people do," she mumbled, unheard by the others.

Nabiki handed her a pair of binoculars. "Here ya go."

"Ah, what am I going to do with these?" she asked.

"Watch the front gate. It should start aaaaaany minute now."

The four watched from their 2nd floor perch, although Manami still wasn't sure what for.

"Blue-1 is in position," said Sayuri.

"Red-1 on approach," said Yuka. "Coming in fast."

"Blue-1? Red-1?" asked Manami.

Yuka pointed to Kuno, who was now in the middle of the courtyard in a battle stance.

"Blue-1," she explained.

Then she pointed out in the distance to Ranma, who was running up to the gates at a high speed.

"Red-1," said Yuka.

Sayuri focused on Ranma and announced, "Red-1 ETA 5, 4,  
3, 2, 1... we have contact!"

The whole classroom moved to the window and looked on as Ranma ran right into Kuno. There was a brief scuffle, then lots of violence as Ranma rained down dozens of hits on Kuno, finishing with an uppercut that sent Kuno into low earth orbit and over the school fence.

"Time?" asked Nabiki.

Sayuri looked at her stopwatch. "15 seconds." In response, some in the room cheered, while many others groaned.

"This... happens every morning? asked Manami.

"Yep," said Sayuri. "This is the morning show."

"And the gambling?" asked Manami.

"A tradition since those two started their rivalry," said Sayuri.

"Ladies, how'd we do?" asked Nabiki.

"Did good, boss, did good," said Yuka. "Tho Hiroshi and Daisuke nailed us again."

"As long as we're in the green," said Nabiki.

While Sayuri and Yuka walked with Nabiki back into the room to tally the day's results, Manami continued to look out the window, still surprised at the strangeness of the situation, when she spotted someone else out there walking slowly towards the school.

"Hikaru-kun! Hi!"

Gosunkugi, who usually didn't get any greetings, looked around in confusion. Someone calling him? Couldn't be.

"Hikaru-kun!"

Gosunkugi finally looked up to see Manami waving at him.  
"Manami-san! Hi!"

The schoolground was abuzz. A girl talking to Gosunkugi was... not part of the normal. It was abnormal. There were a few that knew the two were friends already, but only a few. The campus as a whole was generally surprised.

Nabiki hmmed. "Hey guys, how much you wanna bet those two become an item?"

Manami blushed slightly and turned around. "W-we're not like that, really!"

Sayuri tsked. "The way he's around you a lot, I'm surprised."

"Yeah," said Yuka. "You two'd make a good pair."

"You really think so?" asked Manami.

"How many boys offer to carry your books anymore?" asked Yuka. "I see him doing that for you every now and then."

"How many boys do you know pull a bouquet of flowers from their sleeve and give'em to you?" asked Sayuri.

"Or pull those cute rabbits outta hats and give'em to you for pets?" asked Yuka, referring to the time a half dozen small bunnies jumped out of Gosunkugi's hat during lunch several days ago. "Pretty good trick, that. Impressed everyone." Then she paused. "Say, are you keeping all those rabbits?"

Manami frowned. "Actually, they ran away the day after he gave them to me. I don't know how they got away,  
though. I thought the cage was locked. Hm."

"Anyway, the two of you just seem... like a good match," said Yuka. "Two quiet shy people, y'know?"

"I-I guess..." said Manami uncertainly.

Nabiki cut in, tapping Manami on the shoulder. "Hate to interrupt but class is in a minute."

"Oh my!" She gathered her belongings and scrambled to the door. "See you guys later!"

Nabiki, Sayuri, and Yuka watched her leave with pleasant smiles.

"And the seed has been planted," said Nabiki. "Very sneaky, you two."

"Well, they do seem good together," said Yuka.

"Stranger things have happened," said Sayuri.

Nabiki shrugged. "Bets?"

"Two weeks."

"A month."

Unnoticed by all, Kuno stomped back into the school grounds. As the bell rang, signaling his tardiness, he yelled in frustration.

Yet another morning in Furinkan High.

"Sentaro, the time is coming soon."

Sentaro Daimonji turned around solemnly at his grandmother's words. Next week was a very important time for the Daimonji School of Tea Ceremony Martial Arts.

"Today you shall meditate, grandson. Think on all the wisdom your masters have given you. Soon, very soon, we regain our lost honor."

"We will, grandmother, I swear it."

Soon after, Sentaro was once more alone with his thoughts and his tea.

But not for long.

His eyes, half-closed in meditation, opened slightly more at the sound of feet approaching.

The voice was soft, sweet, a voice tat he loved dearly. "Darling... may I talk to you for a moment?"

"Satsuki, dearest, of course."

His fiancee scooted towards him in that odd sitting-down-yet-moving maneuver that the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts practitioners tended to do all the time.

"About the tournament," said Satsuki.

"Don't worry about me," said Sentaro, holding her hands. "This time will be different than the last."

"I just... I..."

"Oh, Satsuki," said Sentaro, taking her into his arms. "Don't you worry."

"But Sentaro... I... I just remember the last time you fought him," she said quietly. "I don't want to see you hurt like that again... your face planted in the ground...  
with footprints on your... pants... and an eyebrow missing... and graffiti on your face, and-"

"I get the idea, Satsuki," said Sentaro miserably.

[Furinkan High, lunch]

As usual, the lunch crowds in Furinkan were segmented into the boys and the girls, and further into their respective social circles. Ranma, Ryouga, Daisuke, and Hiroshi were, as usual, observing the daily Battle for their daily Bread.

"Hey man, you ready for it?" asked Ranma.

Ryouga blinked. "Ready for what?"

"The King of Nerima Tourney, man!" said Hiroshi.

"Oh yeah, that," said Ryouga.

"How could you forget, man!" exclaimed Daisuke. "It's the event of the year! The show of shows! And now that you guys are in it, it'll be even better!"

Ranma, in a statement that summarized his grand and supreme confidence, simply asked, "You guys bet on me,  
right?"

"Of course," said Daisuke.

"Definitely," said Hiroshi.

Ryouga scowled. "Hey!"

"Like you've beaten me yet?" teased Ranma.

"If I run into you in this tournament, I will this time!"  
declared Ryouga.

"We'll see," said Ranma smugly. "We'll just see about that."

Coming up quickly behind Ranma was Ukyou. She strode right behind him silently, took a good, measured view of his posterior, and...

*THWAP*

"Ooooow!"

Ranma hopped around clutching his rear. "Hey! What'd I do now?!"

"That was for last night, you jackass!" snapped Ukyou. Without another word, she stormed off, leaving Ranma and his sore backside wondering what on earth happened for him to deserve _that_.

"So, what'd ya do to her last night?" asked Daisuke slyly.

"Nothing! I didn't do nothing!" protested Ranma. He put his brain to work, thinking on last night and what she could possibly be upset about.

This, of course, would take some time. The thinking,  
that is.

"She's been getting more violent since you started working for her, y'know," said Hiroshi, elbowing Ryouga. "She that violent in bed?"

"NO! I wouldn't know anything about that!"

Meanwhile, Ranma's brain was tallying up some facts and figures. Last night... last night... there was cards. Could Ukyou be sore about losing a few hands at the card table? That was ruled impossible a few seconds later,  
simply because Ranma only won once last night, out of sheer luck, against Akane. After that, she wanted to go home, but instead Ranma talked her into staying in. And then she fell asleep.

Oh. Wait.

The next morning she was with Ryouga.

Hm.

That would mean RYOUGA DID SOMETHING and Ukyou was blaming him for it! Why that...

"RYOUGAAAA!" Ranma grabbed him by the shirt angrily and shook him around. "What did you do to Ucchan?!"

Ryouga, irritated by this odd reversal of roles, grabbed Ranma's shirt in retaliation. "I didn't do anything!"

"Yeah, right! You expect me to believe after last night you tw-"

*POW*

"Well, there they go again," said Daisuke.

"Say, I wonder what Saotome meant when he said, 'last night you two...' hm?" wondered Hiroshi.

"Don't you dare bring that up!" roared Ryouga at Ranma. He heaved Ranma up and tossed him over a nearby fence. From there, Hiroshi could hear the sounds of violence that was typical of those two.

"'Last night' he says," observed Hiroshi. "Sounds interesting."

Daisuke nodded. "I was gonna tease'em about it, but Ryouga usually gets more violent than Ranma."

"Anyways," said Hiroshi, "It all starts up next week. Man, I can't wait!"

In the distance, a stormcloud rumbled. Had anyone been paying attention, it would have surely been a harbinger of worse times. As things were, the moment was lost on them.

[Furinkan High, after school]

"So, is everything falling into place?" asked Nabiki.

"We've got 45% of the Nerima student body calling in to place their bets, chief."

"The roster of fighters is shaping up as you predicted,  
boss. Just got confirmation Sanzenin is on his way and someone claims to have seen Ryu Kumon by the station."

"We've got the roster for at-site operations staff lined out, chief."

"We have a guaranteed first-right-to-buy on all matches and already have advance orders for the premium seats in the first round."

"Good, good," said Nabiki, pacing back and forth at the front of the classroom. Meanwhile, her handful of henchwomen and associates scurried about the room with papers, reports, and laptop computers.

"Just to confirm my beliefs," said Nabiki, "who's the favorite so far?"

"Ranma Saotome, chief, getting 80% of the bets."

"Figures," she said with a smirk. "So, are the matchups posted yet?"

"Only a few, chief. The full list hasn't been put out yet."

A frown appeared on Nabiki's face. Something felt wrong.

"That's odd. I was told it'd be done today by noon," she said, rubbing her chin.

"We tried calling, but they keep on saying the schedule maker is out on his break or busy."

"Somebody give me a phone, I'll get to the bottom of this." One of her assistants handed Nabiki a cellular phone, which she flipped open casually then dialed.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Nabiki started tapping her foot on the floor. She hated waiting on the phone.

"Ah, hello. Is Noriamo in?"

/I'm sorry/ said a voice, probably a secretary, /he's busy at the moment./ The voice seemed a little familiar to Nabiki, but she dismissed that as insignificant at the moment.

"Tell him it's Miss N."

/Could you hold please?/

"Okay."

Soft music was piped through the phone, making Nabiki somewhat ill. She never did take to being put on hold very well, but in the business world it happened all too often.

She could also name the song on the phone. It was a symphonic version of 'Barefoot in the Park'. Nabiki winced and shook her head. Definitely too much time spent on hold lately.

/N-Noriamo speaking./

"Ah, Noriamo-san, so good to hear you."

/T-Tendo-san! What can I do for you today?/

"The matchups for the first round. Why are they not in my hands yet?"

/B-but I sent you-/

"An incomplete list. You know how I hate incomplete work."

/I'm sorry but we've had a few snags. It will be done in an hour, I assure you!/

"I hope so, Noriamo-san," said Nabiki with a hint of menace. "You know my e-mail address, I'll be waiting on it." With a frown, she hung up and put the phone aside.

"Things got settled, boss?" wondered one of her underlings.

"Seems to be," said Nabiki. "Expect something in an hour."

"What's wrong, chief? You don't look happy."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think Noriamo was up to something... but he isn't intelligent enough to pull off a scheme on his own." She looked out the window, thinking for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe I'm just getting paranoid."

"Back to work, Noriamo-san."

"Y-yessir," stammered Noriamo. He breathed a sigh of relief after the feel of a cold blade was removed from the back of his neck.

Tarou stared at the envelope with great suspicion.

It wasn't often that the old freak wrote to anyone, and it was even more unusual that Happosai wrote a letter to him. Life was either about to become a little more interesting or a lot more aggravating. He began to read the letter, mumbling some parts aloud out of habit.

"Hrm... Dearest Pant-" Tarou took a moment to grit his teeth. "Hm... mm-hmm... Change of heart... change of name... only if you win the King of Nerima tournament."

So, the old man was willing to change his name if he won this tournament, eh? Nerima... Nerima... fem-boy oughta be there... along with all those other jokers. Heheh, a little entertainment and a cool new name at the end of it all. Should be a good time.

A bandanna-clad figure stood in an empty rural road,  
under a tree. In the distance the sun was beginning to set. The light breeze lifted his hair in a nicely dramatic fashion.

Wandering from town to town, he started anew the process he began so many years ago. He trained in the Art. He traveled all across Japan, fighting, studying, growing stronger, recovering from the defeat that had forced him to start all over again.

Then he got a letter.

It was rather puzzling how he got it. It was just there one day when he woke up. It was an invitation to a martial arts tournament.

It was going to be in Nerima.

That, of course, meant that _he_ was going to be there. The one that had caused his fall.

Ranma.

Ryu Kumon stood up dramatically, the invitation gripped tightly in his fist. This would be a good test of his skills, definitely. He needed to prove, if only to himself,  
that he was once again a formidable martial artist.

And a small measure of revenge wouldn't hurt either.

As was typical of the Hibiki line, Ryouga was... well...  
you know.

"Could've sworn Ucchan's was down the corner."

He frowned as the skies rumbled. If the weather was any indication he wouldn't be staying a he for long. The rumbling sky and sudden gust of rain had him suddenly stumbling down the street, struggling to keep the rain at bay with his umbrella.

After a few more minutes of stomping around in the rain,  
Ryouga had lost the battle to keep his gender. She wiped the rain from her eyes and found herself in a back alley of sorts, in front of a door.

A rather familiar door.

Could it be? Could he actually have found Ucchan's? It seemed too good to be true!

-click-

"Uky... oh."

It was.

He found himself in a very dark room, lit only by candles. Arcane and mystical items, figures, and drawings were set everywhere. At the center of the room, lit by a solitary candle, was a girl with long brown hair clad in dark blue robes. She was, at the moment, peering in to an odd glass object with odd shapes swirling from within.

"Welcome," said the girl. "May I help you?"

"Oh," said Ryouga-chan, "sorry, I thought I was somewhere else."

"I see," said the girl.

Ryouga-chan reached for the door, but hesitated. Curiosity was nagging at him.

"Excuse me, what is this place?" she asked.

"This is just a humble little shop of magicks," said the girl. "And I am just a practicing fortune teller. You can call me Mio."

"Fortune telling?" asked Ryouga-chan. "As in predicting the future?"

Mio nodded.

Ryouga-chan had a feeling. He wasn't sure what it was. A nagging feeling, a whispering suggestion in the back of his mind, a suspicion that fate was giving him a big clue and he should really take the time to listen.

"I don't suppose you could... ah..."

"Tell your fortune?" asked Mio, smiling slightly. "Well... on a cloudy and mysterious day like today, it would seem the fitting thing to do, yes? Please, have a seat."

Ryouga-chan took a seat across from Mio and peered curiously into the glass object at its center.

"Hey, what is this?" she asked.

"Oh, this? Lava lamp." With an embarrassed smile, Mio took the lamp away and pulled out a deck of cards. She went through a process of separating the deck and shuffling the cards in a process that Ryouga lost track of.

"Now... concentrate on your question and tell me," said Mio.

Question? Ryouga-chan didn't think she'd have to think of a question, just get an answer about her future. Oh,  
that's a question. Okay, good, now concentrate...

"What does my future hold?" she asked.

Mio blinked. "That's it?"

"Um... yeah, that's it," said Ryouga-chan.

"Kind of general, but I guess it'll do," said Mio. "Now concentrate on that question, okay?"

Ryouga-chan nodded, and Mio started to shuffle the deck in various and complicated ways once more.

Finally, she laid down a card. It depicted the moon in the sky, with some creatures emerging from the ground below.

"This is the moon," said Mio. "It signifies your immediate obstacles and concerns. The moon symbolizes unseen perils around you and trickery afoot. There are anxieties that you cannot overcome as well."

She drew another card from the deck and placed it atop the first one. A picture of an angel holding two golden chalices was on it. "This is Temperance. It symbolizes what influences you are under at the moment. There is a certain stability and harmony in your life at the moment. There is friendship that keeps you feeling secure in things for the moment. There is no desire for extremes, only a longing for peace and a search for the middle ground."

She drew a third card and placed it below the two stacked cards. Mio smiled as she saw this card. "Ah, the lovers. This is the goal you seek, a soul mate, perhaps for life." Ryouga-chan blushed visibly, but tried to pretend she wasn't.

Mio drew a fourth card and placed it to the left side of the first two. This one, however, was upside-down. "Judgment, but reversed. This is the foundation of your past. Indecision, procrastination, separation, and a failure to achieve your happiness."

Ryouga-chan winced. She couldn't help but think of Akane at that moment.

A fifth card was drawn and placed atop from the first two, across from the third card. A dark tower, crumbling to the ground was show. "The Tower. This symbolizes the recent past. There was a loss of stability. Things were undone. You were subjected to ruin and misery."

Again, thought Ryouga, she was disturbingly on target.

Mio drew forth a sixth card, placed to the right of the first two cards. It depicted a rather disturbing creature. "Ah, the Devil. This symbolizes what will influence you in the future. There will be strange experiences. Black magic is afoot. There will be disasters, downfalls, violence, and shocks."

Could this be the tournament? wondered Ryouga. She couldn't imagine what else could cause such events.

A seventh card was drawn, placed to the right of the other cards and by itself. It depicted an old man with a lamp. "The Hermit. This represents you. You seek answers from life. You're cautious. You're denying yourself something... maybe love."

The eight card was drawn and placed above the seventh. "The Wheel of Fortune. This symbolizes what influences your future. You have a part to play in destiny, and luck will be on your side."

A ninth card was drawn and placed above the eighth. On it sat a royal figure on a throne, holding a sword in one hand and weight scales in the other. "This is Justice. It symbolizes your inner emotions. You've much integrity,  
honor, and a sense of justice."

Ryouga's ego was swelling. Badly.

A tenth card was drawn and placed above the ninth. It depicted a man hung from his feet. "The hanged man. This is the final answer."

Ryouga's ego was deflating. Quickly. 'Hanged man'  
didn't sound good. No, not good at all.

"The hanged man," explained Mio, "He symbolizes a moment of transition. There will be sacrifice, change, and rebirth. You will face a crossroads, and it will all be up to you whether or not your goal is achieved. The choice, in the end, is yours."

Ryouga's mood was dragged down a great deal. The future sounded very... difficult. Then again, nothing was easy.

"Well, that's it," said Mio. "I hope it helps you out."

Ryouga-chan nodded absently, then looked outside. "Say,"  
she said, "do you have any hot water?"

"Yes, in the bathroom," said Mio, pointing to a nearby door.

Mio watched the young girl enter the bathroom, then heard the sound of water rushing from the sink. A moment later,  
and much to her surprise, a young man, dressed exactly like the girl that had entered the bathroom, emerged and headed somberly for the door.

"Thanks for the hot water and the reading," he said. "I guess I'd better go now."

"Um... anytime," said Mio, clearly surprised.

He headed out the door, leaving Mio there and utterly baffled.

Mio shook her head, then put away the tarot cards. "Strange days we live in."

Up in the second floor of the Tendo household, generally bad vibrations were being emitted. Kasumi didn't notice,  
being surrounded by a constant field of Very-Niceness. In her room, Nabiki kept on looking around, as if expecting to see something that was on the edge of her vision. Soun and Genma were downstairs playing shogi, as usual. They were used to this sort of thing.

The Master was probably very, pardon the pun, Happy.

Happosai cackled gleefully as he stared out into the stormy horizon. The invitations were sent, received, and now chaos was to ensue. Pantyhose was on his way, Happy was sure of it. So was Prince Toma. And of course his old pals Chingensai and Lukosai were coming in for the big tournament as well. All those, and so many more good 'friends' were on their way.

Oh Happy day indeed.

In the distance he heard a knocking at the door and grinned.

Ah. That would have to be...

In the doorway stood two young girls. One, Akane's age,  
was lean, with sharp, serious features and long brown hair. The other, a few years younger, had a softer face and a generally happy disposition.

Akane stood there, holding the door open, a look of utter surprise on her face. She wasn't expecting to see _them_. A part of her was still afraid of them, even though she'd proven herself their equal.

"Kurumi! Natsumi! Um... hi!"

Natsumi, the older girl, bowed respectfully. "Akane, it is good to see you again."

"Hi Akane!" cheerfully said Kurumi, the younger one.

"I, ah, guess you're here for the tournament?" asked Akane.

Natsumi nodded. "It is a perfect setting in which to test our skills."

"And we missed you too!" said Kurumi.

"Heheheh, bingo."

Happosai pulled out a clipboard, checked two names off,  
then resumed watching Keiko's Aerobics Workout. These were good days indeed.

"Hey, Nabiki, who was last year's champion anyway?"

She pulled out her laptop and showed him.

"Oooooh. Her. Ain't she that wanna be Ry-"

"Hundred Yen."

"Huh? What for?!"

"Information services."

"*Sigh* Nevermind."

-end act 2 prelude-  



	17. Minor Arcana

-  
\- English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ACT 2 The Kings of Nerima Day 1 Minor Arcana ======================== -PRE-FIGHT JITTERS-

[Furinkan High, the Lunch Hour]

The excitement in Furinkan High was a tangible thing,  
buzzing in the air like flies. Everywhere one looked,  
evidence of its coming was heralded all around, whether it be posters and t-shirts that were owned by the students,  
cameramen from the tournament setting up equipment in the various fields and the gymnasium, or the agents of Nabiki taking bets from the masses.

It was time.

Under the shade of a tree in the courtyard, Ranma and Akane were eating lunch together. Normally, they'd be with their separate factions, Akane with Sayuri, Yuka, and others, while Ranma would be with Hiroshi, Daisuke, and the guys.

Today, they felt the need to just be together.

Much to her annoyance, though, something was distracting him.

"Hey, Ranma, something wrong?" Akane nudged Ranma slightly

"Hm?"

"Are you worried about something?"

"Yeah," he said absently. "You."

"Me? What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" demanded Ukyou.

"You might get hurt in the tournament. I don't think it's such a good idea for you to be in it," said Ryouga,  
looking absently down below. The roof of Furinkan had a pretty good view of the neighborhood, even if it did have a gigantic bronze pineapple installed on it now.

"Hey," Ukyou nudged Ryouga with her foot. "Is this because I'm a girl?"

"Yes! No... er... I mean..."

"You absolute-"

"- idiot! I can take care of myself, you know!"

"Aw, come on Akane, this is different!"

"How so?"

"It's, er, this is tournament fighting!"

"It doesn't make it any easier than any of my past fights," said Ukyou. "I've got the experience and the skills. I've been fighting almost all my life, so don't you dare think I'm not good enough just because I'm a girl!"

"I just don't want you to get hurt, okay?" said Ryouga defensively. "I just..." There was the slightest hint of a blush on his face. "I'd hate to see you badly hurt out there."

Ukyou's expression softened a bit, her frown turning into an ever-so-slight smile.

"It's part of being a martial artist, sugar."

"Okay, you're right, it is," said Ranma moodily.

Akane smiled and leaned next to Ranma, smiling. "Hey Ranma."

"Hm?"

"Thanks for caring," said Ukyou softly.

"Um... no problem... I mean... I..."

"... love you too, Akane."

And they kissed.

And they wished each other luck.

Daisuke shuddered.

Hiroshi elbowed him. "Something wrong, man?"

Daisuke blinked, looked around, and shrugged. "I dunno... I had this sorta... really sick feeling, ya know?"

"Oh? What kind?"

"The kind ya get when you're watching a movie with a date, only the movie was her pick, not yours, and it's turning out to be a major chick film with all the stupid,  
mushy, romantic bits."

"Ugh, nasty."

"No kidding. Wonder why it hit me."

Hiroshi shrugged. "Something in the air, maybe. C'mon,  
let's see if a turkey sand'll fix that."

"There any left?"

"I cut a deal with Rodumanu," explained Hiroshi. "The man'll do anything for cash."

\- Round One -

"Be careful, Sentaro!" cried Miss Satsuki, holding Sentaro in a desperate embrace.

Sentaro returned his beloved's embrace, his face solemn and grim. "Do not fear, my love. I will have my vengeance on this day. In the name of the Daimonji School of Tea Ceremony Martial Arts, I CANNOT fail."

Reluctantly, he and Satsuki separated from each other,  
and he strode (actually, glided on his knees as those who practice Tea Ceremony Martial Arts were apt to do) into the battlefield, the football field of Furinkan High. The small crowd watching included many of his fellow students, and those of the Miyako School of Tea Ceremony Martial Arts as well.

"DO YOUR BEST!" yelled his grandmother.

"I WILL NOT FAIL!" he yelled back.

"YOU'D BETTER NOT, YOU HALF-WIT USELESS MORON!"

Ignoring his Grandmother's cheer, Sentaro Daimonji mentally prepared himself, eyeing his most hateful enemy. The one that defeated the entire Tea Ceremony Martial Arts dojo one fateful night a year ago. He that brought shame to them all.

Sentaro locked eyes with his nemesis and struck a mighty pose (an amazing thing, considering that he was kneeling).

"TODAY, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

Ryo Muhoshin idly twirled his umbrella, looked Sentaro over once, and said a single word.

"Five."

Focus.

Ryouga repeated that simple mantra to himself as he prepared for the upcoming fight. The scene of the fight was a stretch of land by the canal, a place he knew Ranma frequented for practice. Strategically, this was good and bad. Had he been the 'feature match' of the day (the feature match today being some people he didn't know...  
apparently the champion of last year's match versus some promising and new martial artist), he'd be fighting in the auditorium, and he MUCH preferred open-air matches. Of course, the canal nearby was a water hazard, but he felt he shouldn't worry about that too much or else he might be overly distracted during the match.

A medium sized stand was erected nearby for viewers who bought tickets to this match. He could see a great many students from Furinkan (the girls circling around talking to everyone being Nabiki's Agents, he suspected) watching the match amongst the spectators and to his surprise some carrying banners cheering him on.

He wished Ukyou was there, but she had a match of her own to fight.

With a bit of a sigh, he looked at his umbrella,  
currently plastered by various logos from companies (YOKOHAMA TIRES / SONY / CAPCOM / SHONEN KNIFE ) and local merchants (UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI / KING'S CAFE /  
UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI / TERRI'S TERIYAKI &amp; STEAK/UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI/). He never thought promotional money could be earned from martial arts... but then again, this was a new day and age.

And Ukyou insisted on it.

His opponent for this first round looked serious. He was a young man with a strong, thick build and a shaved head. A Buddhist monk, perhaps? A warrior of the Shao-Lin? Ryouga braced himself for the worst, refusing to take his enemy lightly.

As the announcer approached with portable microphone in hand, the two combatants stepped forward and the crowd hushed in anticipation.

/TODAY'S MATCH, RYOUGA HIBIKI VS. LAI-RI KU-LEE MOH!/

Lai-Ri Ku-Lee Moh? Bizzare name... almost... Chinese. There was something familiar about it, though...

/THE FIGHT PROCEEDS UNTIL ONE SURRENDERS OR IS KNOCKED OUT!/

Ryouga tried to assess Moh by his stance stance, but could assess nothing. It wasn't because his stance was unreadable, but that he wasn't in a stance. Moh merely stood there impatiently, arms crossed in front of him.

Clearly, an arrogant guy. This, he felt, would be an easy match.

/FIGHT!/

She could feel the warmth of the gigantic grill that they both stood on, knowing that this was _her_ home turf. She had the advantage here.

She was surprised that the King of Nerima officials accepted it as a place to hold a match, but she wasn't about to complain. Actually, she was grateful for the advantage. It'd make pounding her enemy that much easier.

"So, Joe, back for more?" sneered Ukyou.

"This time... you fall."

Joe the crepe chef. This was the last person Ukyou expected to see in the match. She hadn't seen him since she defeated him in their crepe vs. okonomiyaki duel a while back when he'd threatened to drive her out of business. She thought she'd seen the last of him.

Joe, meanwhile, was determined not to waste this shot at redemption. It'd taken him quite a lot of money to get this match arranged, and he had to outbid that weird guy in the octopus mask to get this arranged too...

It was at this point that someone in the stands decided to be a wiseguy.

"TAAAAAKEEEEOOOUT KOOOOOMBAAAAAAAT!"

Joe and Ukyou both scowled.

/FIGHT!/

And soon, the air was filled with violent waves of okonomiyaki and crepe as the two culinary warriors collided.

"What's that?!" asked Moh, gaping while pointing at Ryouga's shirt.

"Huh? What?" Ryouga looked down briefly. "What's what?"

"That!" yelled Moh, striking forward with his single finger, stinging Ryouga's chest. Before Ryouga could react to the underhanded attack, Moh clenched his hand into a fist and moved it from Ryouga's chest to his jaw, connecting solidly, then poked Ryouga in both eyes.

The lost boy staggered back, rubbing his eyes, while Moh remained in a 'cool pose' (or so he thought) with two fingers jutting out like fangs from his hand.

"Now you know the force of STOOGE-FU! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Woooooo!"

The time bomb that was Ryouga's rage began ticking. He'd just fallen for the oldest trick in the book, and he was getting humiliated by someone using Stooge-Fu.

Stooge. Fu.

Ranma would never let him hear the end of it.

"Why youuuu..."

"FIGHT HARDER, BOY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" bellowed Genma from the stands. "HOW DARE YOU SHAME YOUR FATHER THIS WAY!"

"Not now, DAD!"

Ranma's first round match was against a foe he'd taken on before, the Dojo Destroyer. The Destroyer seemed as wide as he was tall, and his height was approximately seven feet tall. His technique was the use of signboards of dojos that he'd defeated, wielding them somehow with telekinesis of some sort, or possibly just incredibly strong fighting spirit. He'd defeated 99 dojos, and thus had a swarm of 99 dojo sign boards to attack with, constantly circling him like insects.

He and Akane took the Destroyer down before, as a team,  
but now he was facing him alone.

The fight was not going as well as Ranma thought it should. The Dojo Destroyer was still standing, and five minutes had already gone by. Not only that, but his fighting style had improved, becoming much more effective defensively. Almost every blow was somehow blocked by a signboard. The strikes that did make it through were hits to his massive stomach, which didn't affect the Destroyer much at all.

However, the Destroyer hadn't managed to land many hits on Ranma either. The few hits he did manage, though, were still stinging.

And so after a furious exchange of attacks, the two stood apart by several yards, each assessing their foe to try and find that one weak spot (and get a small rest). Ranma was in his combat stance, ready to spring at a moment's notice,  
while the Dojo Destroyer stood mightily, his signboards circling around him like a swarm of bees.

Damn he thought, this isn't gonna be as easy as I thought.

"AND *WHAM* STAY *WHAM* DOWN! *WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM*"

A royal stomping wasn't good enough for this clown, or so Ryouga believed as he continued to viciously stomp on Moh's prone form on the ground. Moh had previously yanked his hair, stepped on his feet, stomped on his feet, threw PIES in his face, all after many ridiculous distractions he shouldn't have fallen for in the first place. The second Moh left himself open, Ryouga began pounding him to the ground and hadn't stopped yet.

If Ranma made one joke, just ONE joke about this, Ryouga swore he'd kill him.

Finally, Ryouga stopped his stomping and cautiously checked Moh for signs of consciousness.

Nope, out like a light.

He sighed and smiled in relief. Round one of the King of Nerima tournament was over, at least for him. He idly wondered if Ranma was faring as well.

Ranma was plowed into the ground by an unmerciful swarm of dojo signboards, feeling strike after strike impact on him, finally ending after approximately 48 hits. He was dimly aware of the Dojo Destroyer toppling backwards and hoped that his plan worked.

The plan was fairly simple. He noticed that just before the Destroyer unleashed a 'heavy' volley of signs, he left himself wide open for a brief amount of time. Ranma thought he could exploit that, and did, zooming for several chestnut-fist strikes to his vital points.

What he didn't expect was for the Dojo Destroyer to be standing AFTER his vital points were hit and continue with the volley of signboards. Hence his current position embedded in the floor.

He slowly pulled himself from the floor as the Dojo Destroyer stomped menacingly towards him. Ranma was hurting, but his willpower shrugged that aside.

The Dojo Destroyer staggered in his step, then fell to one knee. Ranma smiled. The attack _had_ taken its toll,  
and now the Destroyer was leaving himself open again. Now was the time to attack.

"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Ukyou was gloating. She wasn't normally the type to gloat, but she really _hated_ Joe. This was also her first time to gloat after a glorious battle, so she was really trying to enjoy it.

"You aren't looking so hot NOW, are ya sugar? Eh? What's that?" She kicked aside small bits of crepe and booted a gigantic okonomiyaki casually.

"Ow!" it said. "Let me outta here!"

"Let you out?" asked Ukyou. Her grin became somewhat scary as she brought out a match. "Say... did you know that I use gunpowder in my okonomiyaki mix?"

"N-no... you wouldn't!"

"Ooooh yes I would!"

"FINISH HIM!" boomed the obnoxious heckler. Ukyou took a moment to glare at the stands, then dropped a lit match.

-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

/AND THE WINNER, UKYOU KUONJI!/

The crowd cheered. Ukyou flashed a winning smile and waved her battle spatula. Somewhere in the crowds, the wiseguy came back...

"FATALITY!"

Ukyou took a moment to grab a chunk of crepe that was on the floor and heaved it at the wiseguy.

Meanwhile, the automatic commercial queuing kicked in.

/FOR THE BEST OKONOMIYAKI IN NERIMA, VISIT UCCHAN'S! OPEN SIX DAYS A WEEK, CATERING AVAILABLE! CALL 42-UCCHAN FOR DETAILS!/

"Damn you," whimpered Joe.

"FALL DOWN, DAMN YOU!" yelled Ranma as he pounded away at the Dojo Destroyer. This was Ranma's tenth time to take advantage of the Destroyer's opening, pounding away at his vital points with the chestnut fist. At times it seemed that the Destroyer was about to topple, but he just kept on going.

And the chestnut fist was _very_ draining on Ranma's endurance.

For this, the tenth time he managed to sneak in, Ranma decided it was time for all or nothing. As he pounded away at the Destroyer's vital points yet again, he built up his ki and confidence, ending his furious barrage with a cry of "Mokou-Takabishi!" that lifted the titan off of his feet and thundering down to the ground.

"Is... is it over?" He fell to one knee, breathing heavily. The Dojo Destroyer, meanwhile, hadn't moved a muscle. Ten seconds passed in silence.

/AND THE WINNER BY KNOCKOUT, RANMA SAOTOME OF THE SAOTOME/TENDO DOJO!/

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. He still could have fought on for quite a few more minutes, but he wouldn't like the level at which he'd be fighting. Using those chestnut fist attacks were really draining on his endurance. He was already reviewing the fight in his mind, seeing where he went wrong and making notes on how to do better in the next match as he staggered to the sidelines.

"That took a bit long, boy," said Genma.

He would have liked to have said, "shut up pop!" if only he wasn't so tired. For now, he had to get his wind back and find out how the other guys were doing.

"Well, my match begins soon," said Genma. "See you later."

"You mean... you hadn't fought yet?"

"No. They're holding the first round matches at different times, so that people may attend more of them. Mine is in about... thirty minutes at the main stadium."

"Wait a sec... the main stadium?"

Genma nodded proudly. "We are, after all, the two masters of the Saotome/Tendo dojo."

"If I find the guys in time, we'll try to watch it."

"Thanks, son."

Genma strolled out to his destiny, while Ranma took long pulls from his Gatoraide bottle and wobbled to the nearby bulletin board to figure out where the others were and if he had a chance to watch their matches as well.

Ryouga had a match against some guy with a weird name.

Ukyou was facing... Joe? The crepe chef? And it was probably too late to catch that match. She was facing off against him in her own gigantic grill / fight ring.

Akane... Akane... she was at the Furinkan High Gymnasium,  
facing off against...

Before he could read further, he was bumped from the side, spilling his drink all over the place, including on himself.

"Hey," he, now she, scowled, "watch where yer goin!"

"Sorry, sorry," said a bandanna-clad girl with fangs. "Do you know how to get to... to... Ranma?"

"Ryouga? Hey, I was just about to look for you. Seen Ukyou around?"

"No, I was trying to find her."

"Well, come on, let's go find her," said Ranma-chan. "But before we do..." She whapped Ryouga-chan on the head savagely.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" yelled Ryouga.

"For gettin'us both wet, moron!"

"It was an accident, you jerk!"

Before the two could begin a fight, a gigantic spatula sliced between them.

"Boys, boys, I just can't leave you two alone for a minute." Ukyou sighed, pulling her spatula back up.

"He started it!" yelled Ryouga.

"Did not!"

*CLANG*CLANG* "CUT IT OUT, MORONS!"

The two wobbled away while Ukyou put her spatula in its holder.

"Come on, boys, let's go find Akane... we should be able to catch some of the action... unless her opponent trashes her totally. Who's she fighting anyways?"

"I was about to find out until lost boy here made me spill my drink," said Ranma.

Before the two could start bickering again, Ukyou yelled,  
"Drop it already!" Ryouga and Ranma grumbled and turned away from each other, while Ukyou checked the bulletin board.

"Heeey... she's fighting a 'Kurumi Tendo'."

"WHO?" both Ranma and Ryouga said.

The ribbon swirled madly in chaotic patters, a red gash in the air moving in impossible ways. Even though she was dodging them, just to be near their presence sent a slight burning sensation into her skin.

Akane sprang away to a safe range and tried to get her second wind. Her opponent did likewise, quickly tying her ribbon back in her hair with deceptive ease. Although she was younger, Akane knew better than to be overconfident against the girl. After all, she'd beaten Akane once before.

Kurumi knew her strengths and weaknesses in this match. From a distance, she could wear Akane down with her ribbon whip, but at close range Akane's strength would surely wear her down.

The spectators were many and cheering, mainly because quite a lot of them were from the old Akane Tendo Fan Club. They were worried about their number one heroine, but had to admit, this match against her apparent relative of sorts was a good one, filled with precision martial arts and thrilling moments of suspense.

In the back of her mind, Akane wondered where Ranma was.

"Go for it, Akane!"

"We know you can do it!"

"Don't give up, sugar!"

The Akane Tendo Fan Club waved their banners (GO AKANE! WE LOVE YOU AKANE! AKANE RULES!) more vigorously.

Akane smiled, recognizing Ranma, Ryouga, and Ukyou's cheers. Her confidence swelled, and she felt her second wind coming to her.

The problem, she thought, was definitely the ribbon. Had to get rid of the ribbon.

Suddenly, it all became obvious. It might hurt, but it would definitely get rid of the ribbon. Akane was,  
actually, rather embarrassed she didn't think of this in the first place, since she did it before.

Kurumi's whip snaked out again, snaking through the air as if it was alive. Akane dodged to the side, advanced slightly, ducked under another wave of the ribbon, then swung her arm across at the next strike. There was a hard,  
sharp sting, then she felt the firm grip of Kurumi's ribbon as it wrapped itself around her arm.

Kurumi's eyes went wide as she realized what Akane was up to. She pulled back on her ribbon, trying to get it away. That tug backfired when Akane gave a mighty pull of her own,  
lifting Kurumi off her feet and forward for a short distance.

When Kurumi looked around again, Akane was nowhere to be found. She scanned her left, her right, behind her, and in front of her once more quickly.

Then she saw the shadow.

By the time she looked up, it was too late. Akane's flying kick struck her straight in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending Kurumi to her knees, then to the floor.

Ten seconds later, with Kurumi not rising, the announcer bellowed /AND THE WINNER, AKANE TENDO OF THE TENDO DOJO ANYTHING GOES SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS!/

She could hear the cheer of the crowd, roaring in the air. She could hear Ranma call out her name, and see him rushing out to the field.

Akane smiled, then went to Kurumi to make sure she wasn't seriously injured. They both thought the same thing.

I _really_ need a rest.

-INTERMISSION-

An hour later, Akane and a crowd of several others were gathered at one of the few places to carry the pay-per-view broadcast of the King of Nerima tournament, King's Cafe. Several other tournament fighters were lounging there as well, winners and losers, in an almost carnival-like atmosphere.

"Hey, are you alright?" asked Akane, looking with concern at Kurumi.

"I'm okay," said Kurumi with a bit of a smile. "You fought well."

"You did too," said Akane encouragingly. She turned to the elder of the sisters and asked, "So, how'd your match go, Natsume?"

Natsume, the elder of the two 'other Tendo sisters',  
shrugged. "It was... disappointing, I suppose. My adversary was not worthy."

"Oh? Who was your opponent?"

"He was named... Shen Pu," said Natsume, "and he kept on ranting on the sacred tactics of the Fourth Stooge Fist." Everyone seemed puzzled, except for Ryouga who knew exactly what she was talking about.

/In one of the most spectacular defeats of the day, Ryo Muhoshin defeated Sentaro Daimonji in record time.../

"Daimonji... wasn't he the one from the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts Dojo?" wondered Akane.

"Yeah, that's him," said Ranma.

/ ...and now, here's a replay of the entire match. Yes,  
the entire match./

One...

Ryo blazed forward with alarming speed, his umbrella spinning in a blur. Sentaro refused to panic, and calmly lifted up a tea pot and ladle to block and counterstrike.

Two...

Sentaro raised the pot to block the umbrella slash. He felt the pot shudder, but with a surprisingly light touch instead of the brutal heavy strike he was expecting.

Three...

As he swung his ladle forward to strike, the tea pot suddenly exploded, sending water and metal shards everywhere. Surprised by this, Sentaro could only reel backwards and try to cover his face while his ears rang from the sound of the explosion.

Four...

Still reeling back, Sentaro was alarmed when he felt Ryo's hand snare his throat tightly. The world spun madly as he felt himself lifted into the sky, then slammed head first into the ground unmercifully. His world immediately faded into black.

Five.

The crowd was speechless, except for a girl cheering enthusiastically, sitting next to a gigantic pig. Ryo smiled and bowed to her. Elsewhere, Satsuki and Grandmother Daimonji looked at the ground in sorrow, lamenting Sentaro's brutal defeat.

The almost-silence continued for several seconds more, as the judges waited to see if Sentaro would stir. When it obvious that he wouldn't, the announcer stepped into the field, microphone in hand.

"AND THE WINNER, RYO MUHOSHIN!"

The crowd cheered politely, a few of them very much impressed (and a few of them not, after all Sentaro was a martial artist of the _tea_ variety), and Ryo bowed to them all, taking a moment to glance downward at his enemy with contempt.

And then he began strutting rather fashionably, showing off the jacket, shirt, tie...

/RYO MUHOSHIN'S WARDROBE PROVIDED BY HIKARI'S. SUIT BY ARMANI. TIE BY TOMJONAVICH. SHOES COURTESY OF BRUNO MAGLI.../

/and once again, Sentaro Daimonji leaves the King of Nerima tournament in defeat and embarrassment./

"Well... what do you expect from a guy that practices TEA CEREMONY martial arts?" said Ranma.

"Don't be so mean, Ranma," chided Akane, giving him a light elbow.

"Well it's true, ain't it?"

/And on an opposite theme was the match between Anything Goes Martial Arts masters Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome./

"Aw man! I knew I forgot something!" said Ranma. "I was supposed to watch Pop's fight right after Akane's."

"Well, technically, you are," pointed out Ukyou.

"Oh yeah... good point." Satisfied that he was technically in the right, Ranma relaxed again.

/This grueling match of masters just ended minutes ago,  
lasting almost an hour. This spectacular match had several highlights, almost all of them in the final minutes as they seemed to give all their strength in an effort to defeat each other./

"This is either gonna be real interesting or real stupid," muttered Ranma.

Soun and Genma sweated heavily, both feeling their bodies reminding them of exactly how old they really were. Each was doing exactly what the other expected of them. Genma,  
despite his massive girth, continually sprung into the air for some impressive offensive maneuvers, while Soun stayed mostly on the ground and tried to end it quickly with powerful strikes to Genma's vital points.

After almost an hour, each had landed many blows on the other. They knew each other too well to make it an easy fight.

"You're still as good as I remember, Tendo."

"As are you, Saotome."

"But... I'm afraid it's time to end this match, don't you?"

"Definitely, old friend."

Suddenly, the two martial artists glowed brightly with battle aura. With a dramatic sweeping of their arms, they simultaneously launched solid beams of ki that canceled each other out.

"Whoa, no way," said Ukyou, mouth half-full of peanuts.

Akane and Ranma could only stare at the screen in surprise.

"Hey, Ranma, pass the chips?" asked Ryouga.

Genma displayed an amazing variety of aerial assault techniques, while Soun clearly held advantage while they were both on the ground. It was, by the looks of the audience, a crowd-pleasing battle. Unfortunately for the fighters, it was also a very tiring battle. Things had to end soon.

Genma sprang in the air again, aiming for Soun's jaw. This time, however, he was suddenly surrounded by a battle aura that solidified into a gigantic version of himself. Either this wound end it for Soun, or for himself. The effort of using his battle aura in this manner was so tremendous that he would surely be too exhausted to fight on after it was done.

Surprisingly, Soun didn't panic at the sight of a monster-sized Genma flying foot-first at him. He decided to unleash his most powerful attack and hope it was strong enough to deflect Genma's titanic foot.

"GEEEEEEEEEEEENMAAAAAAAA!"

The spectators fled in panic and several cameramen were blown away as the full might of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Demon's Head attack was unleased,  
shattering the battleground. It was the most effort he'd ever put into it, and the Demon's Head he was generating was large enough to swallow Genma, battle aura and all.

Genma, as was his nature, panicked. In fact, he was scared witless, having never seen Soun's demon head strike _that_ powerful. He passed out from fright and his battle aura immediately flickered into non-existence.

Unfortunately for Soun, there was still the matter of physics. Demon's Head or not, there was still the matter of Genma's rather large body flying at him. Soun couldn't dodge because he was still locked in the Demon's Head attack, so the end result was a titanic demon's head with eyes bulging out in panic and fear as Genma's rump flew towards his face.

With an absolute lack of grace, Genma's prone form plowed INTO the massive ki-projection of the Satanic Soun Face and into its mouth. It was immediately distorted in an odd way (some witnesses would say that it looked like it swallowed something rather distasteful), turning a deeper shade of purple, then exploded with a bang.

When the dust settled, both masters of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts were on the floor, deeply unconscious.

"Oh my gosh," said Akane, burying her face in her hands.

"I have no idea what to say," said Ranma quietly.

Ryouga patted Ukyou on the back. "Hey, are you alright?"

Ukyou wasn't saying anything, she was too busy snickering, and already shaking badly from the effort to not laugh hysterically out loud.

/Meanwhile, four other members of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts fared better, winning their matches. Ranma Saotome fought a grueling match against the famous Dojo Destroyer, knocking him out after forty minutes of combat./

"Hey! They're showing me! Turn up the volume, man!"  
shouted Ranma.

"Not getting a little egotistical, now are we Ranchan?"

The television went on to display a few choice moments of Ranma's match, including the several times he was struck by a signboard flurry from the Dojo Destroyer as well as the final blow via Mokou Takabisha.

"Alright, they're makin'me look cool."

"Egomaniac," muttered Ryouga.

"Aw, getting jealous, Ryouga?"

"Shut up, you!"

/Akane Tendo also went on to the second round, taking on fellow Anything Goes student Kurumi Tendo in a grueling twenty minute bout, Natsume Tendo emerged victorious over Stooge Fu practitioner Shem Pu, and Anything Goes Master Happosai defeated his old friend and rival Chingensai./

The screen briefly flickered the finishing blow of each of the matches, then the announcer took a break for commercials, promising more hard-hitting action when they returned.

/The full versions of these matches and more will be broadcast tonight at ten./

"That... was it?" wondered an unhappy Akane.

"My match was worth more than a ten second clip," mumbled Natsume.

"Don't feel too bad about it," said Ranma. "Not everyone gets the spotlight... like me."

*CLANG*WHAM*THUD*CRACK*

"J-just... joking... owwww."

"So," said Ryouga, "when do we know who we're going to fight next?"

"I dunno, I think I heard'em say that they'll release the schedule in about an hour," said Ukyou.

"Great, and our next matches all start in about two hours," said Ranma. "I'm still worn out from the first match."

/And in a great upset today.../

/... Kinnii of the legendary cult of the Muscle Sword was defeated in stunning fashion by Furinkan's own Blue Thunder, Tatewaki Kuno./

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

The footage played out, to Nabiki, like a scene from a horror movie: a terrible, terrible act that you knew was about to happen, yet could not prevent.

Kinnii, massive swordsman of the deadly Muscle Sword cult was struck by a blazing upward slash of Kuno's bokken,  
sending him flying several feet back until striking the ground, unconscious.

Nabiki was speechless, utterly totally speechless. The other girls in Nabiki's temporary base of operations (Furinkan High, third floor) were also stunned beyond vocal ability. The odds against Kuno were pretty high, and they all figured to get a little easy money from that matchup.

Instead, Kuno won, and a handful of lucky bastards just hit the jackpot.

"You just HAD to pick NOW to start winning again,  
Kuno-chan," growled Nabiki. "Someone get me footage of that match! I need it NOW! And who the hell DID bet on Kuno anyways?"

"Hiroshi, my friend, I shall never doubt you again."

"Why thank you, Daisuke."

"Who'd have thunk that betting a modest amount of yen would've nailed us the jackpot?"

"These are beautiful days indeed, my friend. Now c'mon,  
let's go find Sayuri and Yuka. We can finally afford to give'em a good date."

In a darkened room, a figure leaned back on the plush office chair, examining a sheet of paper. A pencil was twirled for a moment, then it was moved towards a set of names.

[ROUND TWO: R. Saotome vs. G. Yotaro]

"Hmmm... no."

The name Yotaro was scratched off, and replaced with something far more interesting.

\- Round Two -

"Ranma Saotome, it seems we meet again."

The aforementioned Saotome winced. First the Dojo Destroyer, now Kirin. Ranma had taken Kirin on quite a while ago, and it took unusual circumstances for Ranma to bring him down. Now, under normal circumstances, this would be a tough match. Kirin's speed matched Ranma's. He used his chopsticks in alarmingly deadly ways, including ki blasts. Unless Kirin had been slacking off, this was not going to be easy.

"Heya, Kirin. How's married life treatin'ya?"

"It goes well. And you?"

"Eh... not there yet."

"Say, how'd you end up hearin'about this tournament anyway? I thought the King of Nerima tournament was a local thing."

"Local?" Kirin frowned. "How odd, then. An invitation was sent to the Seven Lucky Gods Dojo, and thus invited, the Seven Lucky Gods came."

"Wait... you mean the OTHERS are here?"

"That is correct."

"Oh boy," grumbled Ranma. "Great. Who else showed up,  
Prince Toma an'his guys?"

"Alas, Prince Toma, we meet again."

"Ah... Tatewaki Kuno, yes?"

Ryouga's match wasn't quite as... it just...

He was facing... well...

"Ook!"

A monkey.

"Hey, is this a joke?" asked Ryouga.

The announcer shook his his head. "Nope, no joke. That's your opponent. Sanae of the Tea Ceremony School of Martial Arts."

"Ook!" The monkey martial artist flashed a toothy grin.

"I'm not fighting a... a... a MONKEY! This is stupid!"

"EEK!" Sanae definitely looked insulted, and rattled off a long string of 'eek's and 'ook's along with agitated facial expressions and a bit of poking at Ryouga's knees (it was a rather short monkey).

"Shut up!" yelled Ryouga. "Jeez, I'm fighting a monk-"

*********CLANG*********

"Eeeeaaagh." Ryouga shuddered in anger while he took the small iron pot off of his head. "Why yo-"

*********CLANG*********

Removing the large iron pot from his head, Ryouga's battle aura began to rev up.

"THAT'S IT! THE MONKEY DIES!"

"EEK!"

What followed wasn't so much a martial arts duel as it was a public display of animal abuse.

Another barrage of small, chopstick-shaped ki blasts flew through the air, and Ranma twisted around in an attempt to dodge them. He felt a sting and a hiss as several of the projectiles hit his clothes, stung his flesh, and left their burn marks. This was, yet again, not an easy match for the young Saotome.

Ranma frowned. Same old problem. Kirin was too fast. His arms could move to parry whatever assault Ranma attempted. The analytical part of his mind was churning the situation over, looking for that weakness. Everyone had a weakness, he just needed more time to pinpoint it.

The analytical part of his mind finally had an idea. It'd rely on him taking on more punishment again, but at least this was the last match of the day.

He landed, getting into the stance for the mokou takabisha, and built up his ki. A swarm of ki blasts was heading his way.

This was going to hurt.

The Blue Thunder nodded to his opponent, who nodded back.

"En garde, Prince!" Kuno charged forward, bokken at the ready.

Prince Toma smiled. A rolling wave of fire swept out from Prince Toma's hand, enveloping the Blue Thunder.

The audience gasped.

Tatewaki Kuno didn't even stop. To Toma's utter surprise, Kuno was on him and lashed out with a devastating midsection slash. For a brief flickering moment, Toma thought he saw blue flames...

\- an hour later-

Once more, in King's cafe, Ranma &amp; company gathered for rest and nourishment. The festivities around him seemed rather crowded, with Akane, Nabiki, Ryouga, Ukyou, Natsumi,  
Kurumi, and Prince Toma.

Aside from Prince Toma, they were all there to talk of battles won and lost, how their own battles had gone, and to egg each other mercilessly. Prince Toma was busy hitting on Kurumi for a date. Natsumi frowned while Toma flirted, but didn't interfere in any other way.

"Saw your match, Ryouga," said Ranma. "Good job beatin'the monkey. You really spanked that monkey. Got the monkey off your back. No monkey business h-"

"SHUT UP RANMA!"

"Sheesh, no sense of humor," he replied, rubbing his arms. "Ow. Damn, that wasn't a fun match."

"Who was your matchup?" asked Ukyou.

"Kirin," said Ranma. "Head of the Seven Lucky Gods Dojo."

Ukyou hmmed. "Oh, wait, you told me about him... he was the one that used chopsticks and kidnapped Akane?"

Akane nodded. "That's the one."

"So that would explain those," said Ukyou, pointing to the many narrow chopstick-esque burn marks on Ranma's shirt and hands.

"Yeah, he was no pushover. Figured out his weakness,  
though."

"Which was?" asked Akane.

"Well... his arms were fast, but his legs weren't. He usually stood in place when he was doin'his stuff."

"And?" asked Akane.

"His ki blasts. They were small. I figured a really solid mokou takabisha would blaze right through'em, and Kirin'd be too slow to dodge. Of course, that meant I hadda take some hits to build up ki before I could do it." He took that moment to apply a damp warm towel to the various burn marks on his arms and face. "I'm beginning to think the guy that makes the matchups really hates me... and sending all the clowns your way, Ryouga."

Ignoring the discussion, Kurumi giggled and blushed as Toma mentioned how very much her eyes reminded him of the sunsets on his island. Natsumi was splitting her attention between her meal and occasional glares at the young prince.

"It isn't my fault all my matchups were against...  
just... RIDICULOUS martial artists!" Ryouga gritted his teeth. "They're making me look like a joke out there!"

"Well hey, if the shoe fits..."

"YOU SAYING I'M A JOKE?!"

As the conversation between the two rambled on into a shouting match, Ukyou and Akane rolled their eyes. Kurumi,  
meanwhile, talked about her wanderings through Japan with her elder sister, with Prince Toma listening attentively.

"And there they go again," sighed Akane as Ranma and Ryouga yelled loudly and gestured with much sweeps of arms and pointing of fingers. "So, Ukyou, how'd your match go?"

Ukyou shrugged. "Took on some polearm fighter. Not easy, but not too hard either. Think his name was...  
Bishamon... Bishamonten... something like that. How about you?"

Kurumi was giggling badly at a few carefully selected words whispered in her ear by Prince Toma. Natsumi was itching to thwap the boy.

"Kaori Daikoku," said Akane to Ukyou.

"Never heard'a her," replied Ukyou.

"She hasn't been around in a long time... she was an ex-fiancee of Ranma's."

Ukyou raised an eyebrow. "Another one? Genma's fault,  
yeah?"

Akane nodded.

They both became distracted by the rather loud clacking of keys as Nabiki impatiently pounded on her laptop.

"Say, what's that you're looking at?" asked Ukyou.

"King of Nerima website," said Nabiki.

Akane leaned towards Nabiki, trying to get a glimpse of her screen. "This thing has a website?"

"Yeah, it's got statistics and bios for all of the fighters in the tournament, as well as stats on today's matches."

Ukyou's curiosity was raised a little. "Really? What kinda of stats?"

"Longest matches, shortest matches, martial artist with the shortest average match, longest average match, wins by knockout, wins by submission, etc."

"Really? So who's got the longest time per match?" asked Ukyou.

"Let's see... Kaeru Yaroshi, Yaroshi School of Grappling. Twenty-three minutes and forty seconds average per match."

"How about the shortest?" asked Ukyou.

"Hm... Ryo Muhoshin, Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts, eight point seven seconds per match."

"Eight point seven?" Ranma looked irritated, possibly because someone was doing better than he was. "Who the heck did he fight in the second round?"

"Freddy Takoma, Martial Arts Basket Weaving," said Nabiki.

"How'd a BASKET WEAVER get into the second round?!"  
yelled Ranma.

"He beat Ken Kashu, Martial Arts Poetry."

"Okay, now I've heard it all," said Ukyou.

"Get outta here! Lemme see that." Ranma nudged Nabiki aside and stared at the screen. "Ken Kasu, Martial Arts Poetry. Aw geez."

"As silly as that may seem, there's something even odder happening," said Nabiki. "And I don't like it one bit."

"Like what?" asked Ukyou.

"Like Kuno making it to the third round."

The table fell silent, except for Toma, who was telling Kurumi about this great stretch of beach on the south end of Togenkyou Island...

"Waitaminute," said Ranma. "Kuno won AGAIN?"

Nabiki nodded.

"Who'd he beat this time? Must be someone pretty pathetic," said Ranma smugly.

Nabiki pointed at Toma, who at that moment grinned rather sheepishly.

"I... guess I underestimated him," offered Toma sheepishly as an excuse. Natsumi smirked. Kurumi glared at her sister briefly, then offered comforting words to the young prince.

"Two strong wins in a row is no coincidence," said Nabiki. "I had footage of his two victories sent to a few analysts. Before tomorrow's matches, I should have an answer."

"Maybe this... Kuno is just better than you thought?"  
asked Natsumi.

"You don't know Kuno like we know Kuno," said Ranma.

Mio hit the pause button again... backed up a few frames... then sat back with a puzzled expression on her face.

On her television was Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, paused in mid-strike. There was something disturbing in his aura. It was almost like... like...

She flipped through a nearby occult reference book,  
pausing at several pages, then stopped.

Then she moved the footage of Kuno's fight forwards a bit, pausing as a brief but large flash of dark aura flamed from Kuno's bokken.

"Oh no... it can't be..."

-end part 1-

WRITER'S NOTES: The Big Index of Obscure Ranma 1/2 Characters for The King of Nerima Tournament -

Kaori Daikoku: (ANIME) Heiress to Takeout Martial Arts and a fiancee of Ranma. Lost her 'fiancee' status when she was defeated by Ranma-chan in a takeout martial arts race. Has shown a surprisingly deadly use of noodles.

Crepe Joe: (MANGA)  
crepe chef that briefly took away Ukyou's business and defeated her in combat. She trained hard and returned, defeating Joe soundly. A competent martial artist, but not terribly impressive.

Sentaro Daimonji: (ANIME/MANGA)  
Heir to the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts Dojo.  
Was under the impression that he was engaged to a monkey, until someone arrived to clarify things.

Sanae (ANIME/MANGA)  
Pet Monkey of Lady Satsuke, heiress to the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts Dojo. Nasty little monkey.

Prince Toma (MOVIE)  
young Prince (younger than Akane) of a magic and mobile island whose underground spring turned any animal into a male human, causing a severe shortage of women on the isle. He briefly kidnapped Akane to take as his bride. Wields a sword, and has a _very_ strong power of illusion.

Kirin: (MOVIE)  
Master of the seven lucky gods dojo. Was under the mistaken impression that Akane was his destined fiancee, so he (what else?) kidnapped her. Has displayed arm speed matching Ranma's, and always fights with a bowl of rice topped with a pickle.

Bishamontten (MOVIE)  
Big bearded fighter of the lucky gods dojo. Wields a polearm in combat.

Natsumi &amp; Kurumi 'Tendo': (OAV)  
orphans rescued by a man claiming to be Soun Tendo at a young age, they were promised the Tendo Dojo if they became strong and worthy enough of the responsibility.  
Natsumi is the elder one, fighting with a specialized staff, she can send waves of wind with it. Kurumi is the younger, and the ribbon in her hair is actually a deceptively long whip-like weapon, wielded as such in combat.

Kinii: (ANIME)  
Servant and Enforcer of the Jusenkyou Guardians, and disciple of the Muscle Sword technique, where the warrior and sword become one. His technique is incredibly destructive in nature.  
Chingensai: (ANIME)  
Old friend of Happosai's that perfects a technique for turning invisible. Soun and Genma tried to learn it, but failed. 


	18. Shuffling the Deck

-  
\- English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
Thanks to Eric Jones for the Mikado Sanzenin help :)  
-

=========================== The Pursuit of Happiness ACT 2 The Kings of Nerima Day 2 Shuffling the Deck ===========================

-Day 2: Pre-fight Survey-

[Furinkan High, lunch hour.]

Unlike yesterday, today's lunch hour was spent in the traditional group sessions, which meant that Hiroshi and Daisuke would be with Ranma.

They were also asking lots of annoying questions.

"How're you feeling after yesterday?" asked Hiroshi.

"Okay, I guess."

Hiroshi nodded and started scribbling down something on a notepad.

"Any soreness? Lingering bruises?" asked Daisuke.

"Well, yeah, a few bruises, but that's normal."

Hiroshi and Daisuke hmmed, then they both scribbled something down on their notepads. Ranma was looking a bit perplexed.

"Hey, what's with all the questions?"

"Just estimating how well you're gonna do today," said Hiroshi.

"After all," added Daisuke, "we've got money riding on ya."

"Jeez. Thanks for the support."

"I feel well," said Kuno. "Thank you for your concern,  
fellow students."

"Yeah yeah, right," muttered Daisuke, scribbling notes in his notepad. "Any lingering injuries?"

"Hmm..." Kuno stretched a bit. "None serious, I do think."

"No, I'm not feeling depressed, why?" asked Ryouga.

"Uh-huh." Hiroshi frowned. "And remind me, what's your big ki-blast thingy-"

"Shishi-houkoudan."

"Um... Shi... Shi..." Hiroshi scribbled down the name of the attack quickly, then continued with the questions. "That thing's fueled by depression, yeah?"

"Um, yeah, but why are you ask-"

"Nevermind. Any particular nagging bruises or injuries?"

Ryouga scratched his head, looking a bit confused. "No,  
not really."

Hiroshi scribbled a little more in his notepad, then flipped it shut.

Daisuke, however, had one more question. "You feel that you've had an easy time in this tourney so far, or has it been a struggle?"

"Well, um, not exactly easy, no..."

"So it's been hard?"

"Well, not really hard, exactly. Sort of hard, yeah." He thought a bit on all his victories thus far and frowned.  
"Definitely embarrassing."

"Say, just between us," said Daisuke slyly, "is there something going on between you'n Ukyou?"

"N-no!" Ryouga scowled, but the blush on his face gave away his feelings. "I mean, we're just friends, that's all!"

"So you don't mind if one of us asks her for a date?" asked Hiroshi, grinning a predatory grin.

"It's none of my business, is it?" replied Ryouga grumpily.

"A few bruises, but I don't think they should affect me much," said Ukyou.

"I see." Hiroshi grinned, in a sly sort of way. "Hey,  
just between you'n me... is there something going on between you'n Ryouga?"

Ukyou blushed and looked away from Hiroshi. "I, well,  
no! Absolutely not!"

"Just friends?"

"Exactly."

Hiroshi grinned. "Hey, will ya go out on a date with me this Thu-"

-CLAAAAAAAAAAAANG-

Daisuke whistled. "Oooooh, that's gotta hurt."

[Furinkan High, 4th floor, 4:15 PM]

The classroom was once more rigged with laptops and chalkboard diagrams as Nabiki's team prepared for another day of heavy betting. Their leader, however, was not amongst them. Instead, she was walking the halls in a conversation with her new supernatural consultant and Furinkan High's local fortune teller. The news was a little unexpected.

"He has what?" asked Nabiki, staring at Mio in surprise.

"From what I've been able to find in the books, the abnormal aura he has hints towards him somehow having a variant of 'soul power'."

"Soul power?"

Mio nodded. "It's an ancient power that was never really understood well. There are many theories on what, exactly,  
it is, but there have never been any definite answers. They all agree, however, that the power is an extension of the person's soul. Whether it is an extension the soul, or a greater force that the soul connects to, is under debate."

"Mm-hm. You said Kuno may have a variant of it?"

"Yes. Normally, Soul Power is mastered by those with inner peace. Their battle aura is usually a bright blue. However, should those not of a peaceful spirit, perhaps haunted by inner demons or consumed by evil intent, gain access to Soul Power, the darkness of their souls taints the power, hence the darker aura. In turn, the power twists the user as well. The power in such individuals is known as Psycho Power."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "So, in your opinion, Kuno shows all the signs of having this power?"

Mio nodded.

"Give me the worst case scenario," said Nabiki.

Mio hmmed. "Worst case scenario? Kuno gains full mastery of the power and becomes a nearly unstoppable psychotic."

"And the odds of that happening?"

"Not as likely as I feared it would be," said Mio. "I observed Kuno earlier today, hoping to see something more in his aura that the cameras wouldn't catch. He's surrounded,  
for some odd reason, by several spells."

"Spells?" Nabiki's mind spun a few times, considering the implications. Two seconds later, it came up with the only likely suspect: Gosunkugi. She'd have to ask him about it later, but for now... "What kind of spells?"

Mio frowned. "An unusual assortment. Blessings,  
protection against evil spirits, many more that I can't recognize."

"You can't recognize them?"

"No," said Mio.

"The spellcaster was that good?"

"No... he was that sloppy. I get the impression that the caster was throwing spells frantically."

Yes, thought Nabiki, definitely Gosunkugi.

"Anyways," continued Mio, "with these spells cast on him,  
he should only be able to manifest the full power when his emotions are incredibly strong."

"Ah, good, end of problem," said Nabiki matter-of-factly.

"There IS one cause for concern, though," said Mio. "The way those spells are bound to him constantly, they're in constant conflict with his Psycho power. There may be side effects."

"What kind?" asked Nabiki.

"No way of knowing, really."

"So, does this factor have anything to do with his current run of good luck in the tournament?"

"With the power running through his system, despite being being hindered by those spells, Kuno probably has improved reflexes, stamina, and even strength. From what I've heard,  
Kuno has always been formidable, but just below the level at which the recent influx of martial artists."

"That would be correct," said Nabiki. "You think he's been nudged up to that level at last?"

"It's a possibility."

They walked further, Nabiki looking contemplative while Mio admired the good weather outside. They'd nearly come full circle around the floor, and could hear the clacking of keys coming from Nabiki's operations center.

"Something's still bothering me," said Nabiki. "How on earth did Kuno gain this power to begin with?"

"That," said Mio, "you'll have to ask him yourself."

[Furinkan High campus, 5:30 PM]

Mikado sighed, running a hand through his hair, checking his reflection over and over. For the first time in far too long, he was going it alone, in The King of Nerima Tournament. Finally, he'd be able to prove his greatness,  
and rid that one blemish from his otherwise perfect record.. Saotome. He would fall this tourney, by Mikado's own hands.

The first day had been a veritable cakewalk. Having easily disposed of some foppish member of the martial origami school, he'd had to defeat that lovely yet overzealous cheerleader girl..

That, however, was yesterday, the past. His attention at the moment was focused on finding the latest fight match listings to determine where and when his next match would be. He idly wondered if his next opponent would prove to be more entertaining than yesterday's cannon fodder.

Mikado smirked. It was of no consequence. None could stand before the might of his now-perfected style. He had far more tricks up his sleeve than when he first met Ranma. The matches were to begin in about an hour's time, but first he felt obligated to go about and meet the fans...

Ryouga shook his head, growling as he made a bee-line to the nearest washroom. He was wet, cold, and female. Of COURSE Moh wouldn't just leave the loss alone.. He just HAD to get vengeance back..

Ryouga shuddered. He and his partner, Shem Pu had a nasty thing with seltzer bottles..

But before Ryouga was allowed to think, or move, any further, a pair of hands pulled her from behind, leaning her back. Almost instantly, a pair of lips were upon her.

-Male- lips.

Mikado smiled, raising the innocent girl back to her feet. He sighed dramatically, "Ah, thank you my dear, for such a message of well wishing. Now, Sanzenin Mikado shall go forth to victory. I shall not forget you, my lovely.."

With that, Mikado rollerbladed off, leaving Ryouga to stare blankly ahead of herself. Momentarily.

Ryouga shook her head, then her whole body followed soon after. Teeth grated, and flames build up around her body. "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" She cried, punching the ground,  
hard.

Later, when she was able to get out of the crater, she decided to clean up and change back to a male first.

Stopping by one of the concessions stands, Ryouga got a cup of hot water. As he waited, he noticed the tournament schedule. His next match was against... ah ha.

Ryouga smiled. Vengeance could wait wait for an hour or so.

With a sigh, another girl stepped back giggling. Mikado himself was looking quite pleased as he made the rounds with the people and gave his fans the adoration they desired.

It was a good day to be Mikado Sanzenin.

Mikado's reverie was cut short, when he walked headlong into another man. He took a step back, his eyes narrowing in recognition.

Simultaneously, Ryouga and Mikado cried out "YOU!" Then then both simultaneously blinked. Mikado was the first to recover.

"You! You are the boy who cost me my match against that coward Saotome! ...Hibiki Ryouga, is it not? It seems this tourney will be more enjoyable than I thought..."

"Hey, you, if you EVER kiss me again I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Mikado blinked, then crossed his arms and frowned. "Excuse me? Kiss YOU? I think not. What kind of pervert are you anyway?"

Ryouga winced. "Ah... I said... I _said_ if you kiss MY SISTER again I'm gonna kill you!"

Mikado blinked, puzzled. "Are you sure you didn't say 'if you ever kiss me again'?"

Ryouga's brain managed to summon up a little cleverness. He looked scandalized. "Why would I wanna kiss you?!"

"Hey, that's what I was asking you!"

"I did NOT say I wanted to kiss you!" yelled Mikado. "You're not even my type!"

"What, you're saying I'm ugly now?!"

At this point, both men had that really bad feeling, the kind that says, 'hey, better look over your shoulder'.

They did.

There was a large crowd gathered, listening to these two argue, and plenty of whispers about sexual orientation and coming out of the closet.

Mikado turned pale. So did Ryouga.

"I'll... uh... see you in the match," grumbled Ryouga.

"Likewise," said Mikado.

They both _quickly_ went their separate ways.

Nabiki smiled, pocketing her mini-cam tape, and loading in another. A huge smile was on her face. "Well, that was amusing..."

\- Round 3 -

The sun set on the canal, giving the fighters standing by its side a rather cinematic quality. The spectators chose this moment to take lots of photographs.

Akane ignored them, she had other things on her mind.

It wasn't her adversary's _very_ dusty, unkept appearance that had Akane a little worried.

It wasn't the way that her adversary seemed totally and utterly relaxed.

It was the large metal radial steel wire broom that had her worried.

Akane had seen footage of Tanya's fights, and she knew she was in for one rough experience. Tanya Noori was a wily foe that was entirely willing to fight dirty. More often than not, she drew blood from her foe either from strikes of the steel wire broom, or nastier looking hook-like objects she kept in her jacket.

Akane snapped out of her thoughts when she realized Noori was approaching her.

The gaijin's speech was a bit stiff, but generally correct, with an odd sort of accent to it. She said,  
"Tendo."

"Um, yes?"

"Just want you to know. Nothing personal."

Meanwhile, in the soccer field, a rivalry of sub-legendary proportions with a year's worth of history was about to take place.

For once, thought Ranma, he was getting a break.

"Hahahaha... so, Ranma Saotome, fate decrees that I,  
Tatewaki Kuno shall cross paths with you on this day!..."

Yeah, same old Kuno, talkative as ever.

"...Know now that your participation in this tournament is at an end, for today..."

Blah, blah, blah...

"...SURELY destiny has seen fit that the public witness as I, Furinkan's Favorite Son, bring you, lowly cur that thou art, to your knees! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Aw, shut up already!" As was tradition, Ranma used his unmatched speed and slid in for multiple strikes at Kuno's jaw, finishing it with an uppercut that sent Kuno flying back, hitting the ground flat on his back, just as Ranma expected.

Ranma turned his back on Kuno, looking smug. "So, did I get'em under five seconds?" he asked the judge's table. "I'm going for that rec-"

*SLASH*

The Kolholz Ice Rink was stripped of its ice, leaving bare concrete at the floor. It was, to Mikado, a sad sight. He took comfort in the fact that it was only temporary.

He also took comfort in the legions of Mikado fans in the audience, screaming his name, proclaiming their love for him.

"Thank you!" he said, smiling and waving as he rollerbladed around the rink. "Thank you all!" He deftly caught a rose that was tossed to him from the audience and smelled its aroma.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the rink, Ryouga was standing there, eager for the match to begin.

The announcer stepped to the middle of the rink,  
beckoning both fighters to the middle, then extracted a wireless microphone.

/LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE KING OF NERIMA TOURNAMENT! TO MY LEFT, RYOUGA HIBIKI OF FURINKAN HIGH!/

There was some light applause, and a fair amount of boos and hisses from the crowd as well. After all, this was Mikado's turf.

/TO MY RIGHT, KOLHOLZ HIGH CHAMPION MARTIAL ARTS FIGURE SKATER MIKADO SANZENIN!/

At this point, the crowd went wild with cheers, roaring and chanting 'Sanzenin! Sanzenin! Sanzenin!'. Mikado's smile rose a notch and he raised his hand to acknowledge the audience's adoration.

/THE MATCH ENDS BY KNOCKOUT OR SUBMISSION! FIGHT/

The transition from smiling, waving egomaniac to speeding, attacking martial artist was quick, catching Ryouga off guard. Sanzenin sped in sliding, knocking Ryouga off his feet and onto the floor. Before he could recover,  
Sanzenin sprang up in the air in a dazzling triple rotation,  
then plowed into Ryouga's chest with both feet.

Surely, thought, Mikado, that was the end of that. Two seconds later Ryouga booted him into the wall.

"Stand your ground, coward!" *SLASH*

Ranma sprang back as Kuno slashed another canal into the field. In the distance, several trees and the goalposts were laid to waste, evidence of Tatewaki Kuno's newfound prowess.

As he landed, Ranma winced and put a hand over his ribs. He was still angry at himself for turning his back on his enemy, even if it was Kuno. Genma trained him to know better than that. Now, because of his arrogance, he had two bruised ribs that definitely weren't going to be healed overnight.

Kuno lashed out again, his speed not quite but approaching the speed of Ranma's chestnut fist technique. Ranma dodged some strikes and was forced to block others. The strikes he blocked left a burning, stinging sensation.

As Kuno's attack wound down, Ranma let loose with his own speed attack. To his surprise, Kuno actually managed to block a few, but for the most part his punches were finding their mark. Ranma finished with backhand followed by a footsweep, knocking the kendoist off his feet and into the ground.

"There, MUCH better," said Ranma. He took a few steps back and caught his breath. This was just wrong, Kuno shouldn't have been this much trouble. But as the match extended, Kuno had been getting better. Something odd was going on.

The question now was if Kuno would STAY down.

"Saotome... I... fight... ON!"

Damn. So much for a quick end.

Kuno rose quickly and slashed again, but this time a wave of dark energy flew from his blade. Ranma ducked, and the ki blast flew into the side of Furinkan High, shattering brick and window alike.

Ranma stared at the damage, then at Kuno, who was definitely flickering with a dark aura.

"Aw man, all I wanted was ONE easy match. WHOA!"

Mikado spun wildly in place, with Ryouga snared in his Dance of Death attack. Punch after punch slammed into Ryouga but the lost boy showed no signs of collapse. Finally, Mikado spun away, leaving Ryouga somewhat bruised and slightly dizzy and Mikado unhurt but with the world spinning at an alarming rate.

Ryouga recovered first and went on the offensive, hurling bandanna after bandanna at the skater until the air swarmed with them. With his speed, Mikado managed to kick away or dodge them, although a few flew in close enough to cut his clothes.

He was so busy taking care of the bandannas that he failed to notice the really big umbrella flying towards him until it was too late. A second later, he also discovered that the umbrella was _very_ heavy.

The match had gone on for far longer than Ranma liked. Kuno didn't land too many more solid blows, but every hit of his bokken that did get in was going to be sore for days after. Ranma, in turn, laid Kuno flat on his back several times, but the kendoist _always_ managed to stand once again.

It was after a few more minutes that Ranma realized his mistake. This wasn't the same old Kuno. He was fighting him as if he was, though, and that just wasn't working.

There was something he knew that worked on anyone. It worked against Happosai just fine. It flattened Ryouga before. Surely, it'd work on Kuno.

After several minutes of trading shots, and lots of insults by Ranma, Kuno was burning red hot with rage.

Perfect.

"Ya call this a match, Kuno? Your sister fights better than this!"

"INSOLENT DOG!"

Yep, definitely hot enough.

Carefully, Ranma began retreating in a spiral pattern,  
with Kuno eagerly following, accompanied by a frenzy of slashes. Ranma concentrated on cool, kept his focus on being cool, let inner peace fill his mind.

Then he let loose with the attack.

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!"

A pillar of light surrounded by a sudden whirlwind surrounded Ranma, catching Kuno in its path. The Kendoist flew high in the sky, spinning helplessly in the mini-tornado that the hiryu shoten ha generated.

A second later, The Blue Thunder crashed down to earth,  
finally unconscious.

Ryouga had an idea.

He didn't have many, and usually not during combat, but it was only natural that his mind evolve. This idea was working out well.

Around Ryouga's feet was shattered, cracked concrete,  
thanks to the breaking point technique. Mikado didn't dare skate into that region, for his mobility would be severely affected.

Feeling smug about this tactical turn of events, Ryouga stood in the middle of the rubble, daring Mikado to enter.

"Come on!" taunted Ryouga. "Scared?"

Circling Ryouga like a shark, Mikado scowled. Yes, he could leap across for some hit and run tactics, but considering Ryouga's skill, that would not be wise. Even worse, he was wrecking the rink.

There was one option, but he never did perfect it.

Mikado spun in place at a fast rate and continued to spin at an increasing rate. Ryouga raised an eyebrow as Mikado's spinning began to cause an air current. The vague outline of a whirlwind was appearing around Mikado's form. Ryouga stabbed into the ground, setting off a breaking point, and debris flew towards Mikado. It did not, however, strike the skater, but instead became captured by the now very visible mini-hurricane that Mikado's spinning was generating.

Suddenly, Mikado stopped spinning, hunched in Ryouga's direction, and yelled "HURRICANE NO BON-ODORI!" The cyclone of wind, no longer held by Mikado's spinning, blazed towards Ryouga, slammed into him, including the swirling debris that it caught.

Skating away in a wobbly manner, Mikado dusted off his jacket. "Well... THAT should put an end to..."

Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Eh?"

*WHAM*

"That was for the kiss, pervert," grumbled Ryouga.

"RRRRRRRRYAAH!" -slash-

Akane screamed as the steel broom tore into her again,  
raking more bloody trails on her arms. Despite the pain,  
Akane kept enough presence of mind to grab at the broom's handle. With her superior strength, she pulled the weapon out of Tanya's hands and tossed it far, far out of the fighting area.

That broom turned out to be every bit as painful as Akane feared, turning parts of her gi to shreds, and the bleeding, while not as bad as it looked, looked very bad indeed, with bloody scratches across her back, stomach,  
arms, and a particularly nasty swipe across the face.

"All right, let's see how you fight withou... oh no."

Noori grimly pulled out what appeared to be a large rusty metal chisel and an equally rusty hammer.

*WHACK*  
*WHACK*

It was desperation time for Mikado Sanzenin. The amount of concrete left that was flat and unshattered was shrinking, and fast. Ryouga was closing in, and it appeared Hibiki's stamina was every bit as tough as the rumors had said it was.

*POW*  
*POW*

An ordinary man would have been out by now. Ryouga was was just finally breathing hard.

At the moment, Mikado had been locked, eye to eye, with Ryouga, and was mirroring everything Ryouga was doing. Every dodge, every feint, and every...

*THUMP*  
*THUMP*

... hit.

Ouch.

Quite frankly, he didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Either the technique would finally take hold soon or Mikado would be doomed.

The Reflection technique was a risky gambit. Mirroring your opponent long enough would result, if performed correctly, in hypnotizing the opponent, rendering him/her completely under Mikado's control.

At the moment, there was the look in Ryouga's eyes... somewhat glazed, but not quite hypnotized. Mikado was definitely worried.

Come on, he thought, get hypnotized already!

*CRACK*  
*CRACK*

Ow!

Mikado couldn't take it any longer and crumpled,  
clutching his ribs.

Ryouga did the exact same thing.

Mikado blinked.

Ryouga blinked.

"It worked! It finally worked!" said Mikado, laughing crazily, and with Ryouga doing the exact same. So relieved was Mikado that he let out a maniacal laugh, boosted by Ryouga's maniacal Mikado-esque laugh echoing it.

Just to make sure things were working well, Mikado did a little jig. Ryouga followed suit.

"Ahe... AHEHEHEE! IT WORKED!" yelled Mikado.

"Ahe... AHEHEHEE! IT WORKED!" yelled Ryouga.

Ryouga was wide open now. Just one good solid 'everything Mikado had left' boot to the head was sure to end the match.

Mikado hoped so. He wasn't feeling very good at all.

He concentrated hard, pulled his leg back, and unleashed a massive spinning kick aimed at Ryouga's head.

*CRACK*

Ask anyone that had fought Ryouga before, and they'd say that his head was the thickest thing on him. Generations of evolution had turned the Hibiki Cranium onto one tough piece of work.

Ranma could have told Mikado a simple truth: the Hibiki Cranium is tough, but the Hibiki Jaw isn't quite as tough.

Mikado, unfortunately, wasn't aiming for the jaw.

This had the undesired effect of snapping Ryouga out of his hypnosis.

And Mikado was wide open too.

*WHAM*

-  
\- Intermission -  
-

In a darker corner of King's Cafe...

"So. Defeated, were you?"

Ryoko scowled. "Ryo, I don't wanna talk about it."

Kyoko tugged nervously on Ryo's sleeve. Ryo snarled,  
"WHAT?!", but his youngest sister was unfazed. As if anything could faze Kyoko Muhoshin.

"Oniisan, whathappened? What didthatgirl do?  
Howdidshe beat you withum...whatisit?" Kyoko said, with her typical near-breathless manner of speaking.

Ryo smiled a sharp, thin smile that anyone else would find unnerving. Kyoko found it rather neat-o. "Your sister was struck down by a mighty and fearsome rugbeater."

"SHUTUP!"

"Heheh. Right. Now if you'll excuse me, I've a previous appointment to keep."

"Wai! CanIcometoo, oniisan?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeease?"

"No."

"Pleee-"

"STOP IT."

There were bruises. There were scrapes. It looked like someone swiped at her face with a rake and landed a hit.

Ranma took one look at Akane and was ready to tear someone's spine out.

"Who did this to you?" he demanded to know.

"Ranma, you're overreacting," said Akane, frowning.

"Tell me who did this to you."

"Why?" Akane jabbed Ranma with a finger. "What are you going to do? Beat her up?"

"I... I..."

"This is exactly what I didn't want you to do!" She took him by the arm and leaned against him in a reassuring manner. "It's sweet, really, but it isn't necessary. We even shook hands and talked a little after the match, so there's no big bad bully for you to chase after. Got it?"

Ranma looked away, but did manage a disgruntled, "okay."

"Oh, there she is. Noori-san! Hi!"

From across the room, seated next to what appeared to be a rather beautiful Kunoichi, Tanya Noori looked up and tipped her hat. She watched for a moment as Akane and her significant other made their way to their seats somewhere off to the far end of the cafe, then resumed brooding in her drink.

Not a bad fighter, that gel.

Konatsu asked, "Is that the woman you fought earlier?"

Yeah, Akane Tendo. Just needs a little more practice an'she prolly could fight me to a draw e'ry time. She nudged Konatsu with an elbow. Ey, how'd yer match do?  
Noori was surprised to see Konatsu turn a deep shade of red accompanied by a look of burning rage.

Out into the night, there was a scream of terror.

Somewhere in Nerima, a diminutive pervert fell off of a roof and landed, flat on his back, in the alley below. His face had an expression of utter shock, confusion, betrayal,  
and disgust all in one.

It was a remarkable expression.

Drifting gently downward was a pair of delicate discount brand panties.

"Aaa... aa.. aack... n-not... a.. again..."

"I... I don't want to talk about it, Noori-sama," said Konatsu, crossing his legs.

Tanya blinked, shrugged, and resumed downing her drink. She briefly glared at a certain bandanna-clad boy clumsily making his way across the room, then 'feh'ed and turned her attention to one of the televisions mounted nearby.

"No, THIS way!" Ukyou grabbed Ryouga by the hand again and pulled hard, nearly setting him off his feet. Ryouga grumbled something about pushy women, but that was cut off by an elbow to the gut.

"Hey, Ucchan, over here!" Ranma stood up and waved,  
catching Ukyou's attention as they made their way through the crowds. After a few minutes of struggling, they finally made their way to their usual table and took their seats.

"Hey guys, sorry we're late," said Ukyou. "Took a while to find Lost Boy here."

"Don't call me that!" whined Ryouga.

"I wouldn't call you that if it wasn't true!" Ukyou stuck her tongue out, pulled down an eyelid and did the traditional 'biiiiiih' insult.

To this, Ryouga couldn't really argue, so he just 'hrmph'ed and turned away.

"I've gotta do everything for this idiot," said Ukyou,  
smirking. Then, taking everyone by surprise, she yanked a bandanna from Ryouga's head, making his cranium snap around somewhat violently in the process.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" yelled Ryouga.

"You slob, you've got dirt all over your face. Hold still, will you?"

"Hey!" Ryouga halfheartedly protested as Ukyou tried to wipe some smudges off of his face. "Come on, cut it out!"

"Almost like a married couple already," said Akane, mock whispering it to Ranma.

The two immediately snapped to a totally neutral and upright seated position. They were, however, blushing badly.

It was at this point that the two finally got a good look at Akane.

"Wow, sugar, what happened to you?"

"Who was it and where do they live?" growled Ryouga.

Akane frowned. "I was eliminated."

"Really?" asked Ukyou. "Who got ya?"

"Tanya Noori."

Ryouga stood up.

"And where the heck are YOU going?" asked Ukyou.

"Ryouga, sit down," said Akane soothingly. "Come on,  
it's okay, really."

"Sit down, you jackass," said Ukyou.

"But-"

"It's a martial arts tournament, this sort of thing is gonna happen," said Ukyou.

"It wasn't anything personal, it was just a match," added Akane.

"Well... okay."

Ukyou snorted. "Men. Just can't accept that a woman can handle everything they can."

"No kidding," said Akane. "Ranma's still just as bad."

Ukyou nudged Ranma's foot from under the table. "So,  
how'd your match go, Ranchan?"

Ryouga grinned. "I heard he nearly got beat by KUNO."

"Shut up!"

"Ah ha! So it IS true!"

"Feel the testosterone flow," said Ukyou dryly.

Akane nodded. "No kidding."

"It's not like your match was that much better!" countered Ranma. "You nearly got beat by Mikado, and I heard he even kissed ya!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Sorry to hear ya got eliminated, sugar," said Ukyou,  
ignoring the ongoing battle of barbs between the boys.

"How about you?" asked Akane. "Who'd you fight? How'd it go?"

"Took down Shinohara High's champion Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Artist," said Ukyou. "Kaede the Red Star or something like that. Kinda like Kodachi, without the dirty tricks."

"So he DID kiss you! HA!"

"Oh yeah? He kissed you first!"

"Hey, is that your, um, 'sister' Natsumi over there?" Ukyou pointed at a wandering figure carrying a rugbeater.

"Oh, yeah, it is. Natsumi! Over here!" Akane waved to the girl, who soon spotted them and made her way to their table.

"Hello," she said, taking a seat next to Akane. "Have either of you seen Kurumi?"

Ranma and Ryouga were deep in debate over who gave Mikado the lesser kiss. Akane and Ukyou shook their heads.

Natsumi narrowed her eyes. "She's late."

"Where did she go?" asked Akane.

"With that little cassanova Prince Toma," spat Natsumi,  
scowling.

"Oh, he's not that bad," said Akane. "He's really a nice boy when you get to know him."

Natsumi looked at Akane doubtfully. "Says the woman that was kidnapped by him," she replied dryly.

"Sorry I'm late ladies," said Nabiki, taking her place at the end of the table (or the head, depending on one's perspective). "And hello to tweedle-dee and dum," she added, smirking at Ryouga and Ranma (who were now insulting each other's feminine qualities).

"Have you seen my sister recently?" asked Natsumi.

Nabiki smirked. "Oh, she's nearby."

"_Where?_"

"I've been paid well not to reveal that. But don't worry. Trust me, they're doing fine."

"That's what I'm worrying about," grumbled Natsumi.

"...and your eyes, the colors of a thousand Amazon butterflies."

*GIGGLE* "Oh, Toma."

Ranma peered over Nabiki's shoulder, looking curiously at her laptop. This, of course, was annoying her greatly, but as usual he failed to notice that sort of thing.

"Hey, Nabiki, can ya bring up the results from the last round?"

She gave him a mild elbow to the stomach. "Sure, if you'll just stop crowding me."

-click-

-  
\- The King of Nerima Tournament -  
Day 2 Results

Saotome Ranma d. Kuno Tatewaki (recap) (statistics)

Happosai d. Kenzan Konatsu (recap) (statistics)

Tendo Natsumi d. Muhoshin Ryoko (recap) (statistics)

Hibiki Ryouga d. Sanzenin Mikado (recap) (statistics)

Kumon Ryuu d. Ebiten (recap) (statistics)

Magical Girl Kuruma d. Plasticite (recap) (statistics)

Konjou Mariko d. Sakugare Sasuke (recap) (statistics)

Muhoshin Ryo d. Sarotoru (recap) (statistics)

Masakari Kujo d. Sakamoto Rei (recap) (statistics)

-more- -previous results- -main- -statistics- -odds-

Ranma's eyes shone with an intelligence rarely seen on his face, as he analyzed the names of those on the screen and remembered what he could of their skills. "Kumon's still in the tournament, huh? He'll be tough. I was hopin someone would take out the old freak, but that ain't likely."

"You're afraid of fighting Happosai?" asked Ukyou,  
eyebrow raised.

"Afraid? Heck no!"

"Then what?"

"It's just... disgusting when I havta fight the old man,  
y'know? He'll try to throw water on me an'then grab me all over. I HATE that."

"I see what ya mean."

"The matchups for the next round come up yet?" asked Akane.

"Let's see." Nabiki clicked several times, the screen flickering rapidly as she hopped across the site.

-  
Not Found

The requested object does not exist on this server. The link you followed is either outdated, inaccurate, or the server has been instructed not to let you have it.

-back-  
-

"Again?"

"Hm?" said Akane.

"The schedules have been late every round," said Nabiki. "It's just a bit of an inconvenience to me, considering my current interest. It's really starting to irritate me."

[Ryouga Hibiki vs. ]

"Let's see... ah."

[Ryouga Hibiki vs. Kodachi Kuno.}

"Who else... hrm..."

[Ranma Saotome vs. ]

"Hrm... who... who... OH! Now THIS looks fun!"

-  
\- Round 4 -  
-

Ryouga frowned.

"Ohohohoho! Ryouga darling, how interesting that we meet in combat!"

Ugh. This wasn't going to be fun. First of all, he didn't like hitting girls. Second, Kodachi really, _really_  
spooked him. Third... that was a really... really tight outfit she was wearing. Left little to the imagination.

"Don't worry darling," purred Kodachi lustily, "there's pleasure in pain too." She cracked her ribbon like a whip,  
her eyes never leaving Ryouga's body. "Just leave it to me."

Oh boy.

Ranma sighed, waiting for his opponent to arrive. He'd seen the lineup for this round, saw the name, but wasn't able to get a profile on the person.

All he knew was the man's name. Kujo Masakari.

A passing cloud seemed to cast a shadow on the battlefield that was Furinkan's baseball field. After Ranma turned around, he realized it wasn't a cloud. It was Kujo Masakari.

He was big. Very big. Obscenely big. He was taller than the Dojo Destroyer and far more muscular. Members of the audience could easily imagine the behemoth starring in a film called 'Kujo The Barbarian'. The titanic sword and leather loincloth certainly helped in that image.

Ranma blinked.

"Oh boy."

/IN THE RED SHIRT, FROM THE SAOTOME SCHOOL OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS, RANMA SAOTOME!/

The giant listened, committing the memory to name. If anyone were to ask, he'd say he was listening so he'd know what name to inscribe on his Book of Maimed Victims.

/IN THE LEATHER LOINCLOTH, JUST ENTERING THE FIELD, KUJO MASAKARI!/

The large barbarian gave a nasty grin. Ranma wasn't sure, but he thought he saw some red splotches in those needle-like teeth.

/CHAMPION OF THE DEATHBRINGER SCHOOL OF ARTISTIC MAIMING! FOUR TIME WINNER OF THE HIMMLER AWARD FOR CREATIVE BRUTALITY!/

Kujo laughed. Ranma thought the ground was shaking.

/AND EATER OF LIU FANG!/

Ranma stared at the announcer. "Eater of Liu Fang?!"

Kujo roared. The crowd went silent.

"Me Kujo Masakari! I eat Liu Fang, Master of the Shaolin,  
in combat to death! I wrestle alligators for fun, torture children for giggles, and burn cities for relaxation! I use redwoods for toothpicks, lightning for a nail file, and the mountains for a back scratcher! Where I walk, the grass withers, and my breath makes chlorine look like oxygen!  
Lions fawn at my feet like house cats, and wolves whimper and run when they see me! My piss cuts through solid steel!"

The audience collectively 'eww'ed.

"More than I needed to know," muttered Ranma.

"I can't look in a mirror for fear of scaring myself! The devil shudders at the thought of my crimes, and the Spanish inquisition would turn green and run after five seconds of my sport! The screams of the dying are my lullaby, and thunder is a pale imitation of my laughter! I will have the prize this day, and dance in your skin on your FLAYED,  
BLEEDING CORPSE!"

At the moment, Ranma was thinking of several things.

Feeling, actually.

Feeling all the bruises from the match against the Dojo Destroyer, the needlepoint burns from Kirin, the good shot to the ribs that Kuno gave him...

Ranma shook his head and grumbled to himself. "One easy match, all I ask for is one easy match."

Meanwhile, up in the stands...

"Mmm, looks like a tough one," said Hiroshi. "How many minutes, do you think?"

Daisuke hmmed for a moment, thinking things over. "I'd say... fifteen. Any thoughts on how Ranma's gonna come through on this?"

It was Hiroshi's turn to hmm a bit. "Wella... he's good,  
but he's obviously getting worn by the schedule. I'd say three cuts, two bites, a dozen bruises, and maybe, _maybe_ a broken nose."

"Wouldn't be as bad if Ranma was coming in fresh on this one," said Daisuke.

"Of course, of course."

Meanwhile, in the Furinkan High soccer field...

There was a Tendo Fan Club in the stands, and it wasn't for Akane.

Natsumi Tendo, by virtue of her flashy style, natural grace, sharp beauty, and her habit of not wearing a bra (causing some to nickname her 'the bra-less wonder') had inspired a cult following that had grown as the tournament progressed.

Unused to fanfare and admiration by a large audience,  
Natsumi was flattered, very much so.

The headband looked familiar.

So did the grim demeanor.

Natsumi asked, "are you, by any chance, a Hibiki?"

"Well... no, I'm not." Ryuu Kumon tugged his bandanna idly and wondered why on earth people kept on asking him that question.

He peered at Natsumi's weapon of choice curiously.

"Excuse me," he asked, "is that... a rugbeater?"

A field in Nerima's Tai Park served as the battleground for Tanya Noori's next match.

Tanya's next opponent didn't look particularly menacing. Clad in an ordinary t-shirt, denim slacks, suspenders, with a bandanna covering his head.

Don't look so tough she said in English.

The boy smiled. I'm more than I appear to be.

So, she thought, the boy speaks English. Izzat sow?

Mm-hm. In fact... Suddenly, he pulled out a large grey cape, covering himself. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished.

Tanya found herself staring at... herself.

I'd say I wos as good as yew, aye? said her copy,  
perfectly imitating Tanya's voice.

Tanya stared, bug-eyed. Wot th'bloody hell are yew?

Tanya's imitation grinned eerily. Yew c'n call me Ken... Copycat Ken.

It was a most generous contribution from the Kuno clan that they allowed the use of the Kuno estate for the King of Nerima tournament, a 'generous gift to the martial arts community' said Kuno.

The fee that the tournament organizers were paying the Kuno estate certainly was a payment for that gift.

In the majestic inner courtyard of the Kuno estate,  
watched by a fair sized crowd, Ukyou awaited her opponent. She was a little nervous, but determined to prevail.

/IN THE BLUE SHIRT AND BLACK TIGHTS, UKYOU KUONJI FROM THE KUONJI SCHOOL OF OKONOMIYAKI MARTIAL ARTS!/

She was here early. Her parents had taught her about the importance of being early and ready.

/AND JUST ENTERING THE GROUNDS, FROM THE UNORTHODOX WEAPONRY SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS, RYO MUHOSHIN!/

He walked smoothly, almost gliding into the courtyard,  
with a small grin on his face and his umbrella twirling idly.

He believed in making an -entrance-.

"Hello, Kuonji."

"Hello, Muhoshin."

He peered at her, rubbing his chin in thought.

"What're you looking at?"

Ryo shrugged, then tightened the black leather gloves on his hands. "Nothing. Just wondering if you'll be over or under a minute. I have a record to keep, after all."

With a sharp slash to his side, Ryo extended his umbrella and the blade within emerged with a -click-.

He grinned.

From the sidelines, an upset Akari yelled, "Ryo! Please,  
you promised!"

He scowled.

With a slight movement of his hand, the blade clicked back into the umbrella, leaving Ryo's weapon a mere dull tip to stab with. The umbrella spun in his hand for a blur of a second, then stopped with the hooked handle extended outward.

"Be thankful she likes you," he muttered to Ukyou.

"Same to you, jerk," she shot back.

/WINNER DETERMINED BY SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT! FIGHT!/

-slash-

"YOW!"

-slash-slash-slash-slash- "I KILL YOU MAN! CRUSH YOUR BONES AND USE YOUR ENTRAILS FOR LOINCLOTH!"  
-slash-slash-slash-

"HYAH!" *CRACK*

"NGAH! GOOD HIT! HAHA! I LIKE!"

"Aw man!"

"Wow, this guy's pretty darn savage," said Hiroshi.

"Yeah, pretty darn tough," said Daisuke. "Pretty mean with the sword."

"HYAH!" -thwap- *CLANG*

"Well, there goes Kujo's sword," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke nodded. "Wonder how he fights witho-"

*CHOMP*

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWCH!"

The audience as a whole winced.

"Oooooh, that's gotta hurt," said Daisuke.

Hiroshi nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely."

Ryo's attack was obvious in its strategy. Wielding the hook end outward, he struck outward with it like a club, but he always pulled it back with the intent to hook a part of her, an arm, a leg, her neck, and pull her off balance enough to land a followup elbow or kick. She found it difficult to hold on to her spatula and had so far managed to dodge all his attempts to snare her.

Ukyou's own offense was to keep him at a moderate distance at best. The spatula was a good weapon, but at extremely close quarters, where he was trying to attack, it was more of a handicap. She'd delivered a flour bomb to his face when he got too close once, and kept him at bay with her spatula shurikens and battle spatula. Once or twice she tried to tangle him with a barrage of taki-soba noodles but he'd managed to dodge it easily.

She retreated a step, dodging a swipe to her face, there was an audible -click-.

Both fighters blinked, then jumped away as a dozen bamboo spears shot out from the surrounding rooftops.

Ukyou looked bewildered.

Ryo looked irritated.

The audience gasped.

Within the audience, Kuno whapped Sasuke in the head.

"Fool!" yelled Kuno, "You forgot to deactivate the traps!"

"Sorry master!"

"Waitaminute! This isn't fair!" yelled Ukyou, right before she narrowly dodged another swipe from Ryo's umbrella. "HEY! What are you doing?!"

Ryo grinned wickedly. "Trying to win."

"FIST OF THE WHITE SWAN!"

*CRACK*

Tanya few back, head first, striking the ground hard.

Bloody hell, she thought dazed, I just got struck with a potty!

A POTTY!

She was snapped out of her daze when a stream of spear-ended chains flew at her head.

YEOW!

She sprung back to her feet, ignoring the pain, and wondered what her enemy would become next. She'd been thrown off guard and was tentative, not knowing what to expect next from him. His version of Kinii of the Muscle Sword Clan was nearly devastating, and his Happosai really,  
_really_ made her MAD.

At the moment, his Mousse was making her panic. endless chains and blades were something she did NOT like.

BACK OFF, YA BLOODY FREAK! Tanya reached into her jacket and sent several soot bombs flying into 'Mousse'. She grinned, seeing the bombs find their mark, and leapt high, intending to dive into the soot cloud from directly above with steel-wire broom spinning.

She jumped, reached the apex of her jump, prepared to bring her broom down in several rapid radial strikes...

*BOING* AAAW!

... and bounced off of something massive.

She landed awkwardly a few feet away and stared at some... some -thing- that was emerging from the clouds. Small unidentifiable objects were swirling in and out of the sooty depths in an almost insect-like manner. A sudden gust of wind cleared the soot cloud, revealing the massive form of the Dojo Destroyer.

Aw bloody h-

*WHAM*

Kodachi kept her distance, lashing out with her ribbon and a few occasional pin strikes. Ryouga deflected the pins with his umbrella and retaliated with a few bandanna projectiles of his own.

And then she changed her tactics.

Without warning, she charged at him, ribbon lashing at him furiously. The ribbon left its mark on his face, arms,  
and chest. He fell back, snapping open his umbrella for cover.

Kodachi took advantage of his defensive stance and flipped over him, glomping herself to his back in a -tight-  
embrace.

It was proven to Ryouga at that moment beyond a doubt that Kodachi's leotard was made of _very_ thin material. That, and her bosom was indeed impressive.

"H-hey!"

"Mmmm, Ryouga darling, you're so tense," she purred into his ear, running her hands along his chest. "Let me loosen you up."

And then she wrapped her ribbon around his throat.

Natsumi advanced on Ryuu with lighting fast swipes of her rugbeater staff, speedy enough to send dust and leaves flying about and constantly in the air.

Ryuu was nimble enough to dodge her strikes, and puzzled her with his lack of offense thus far.

It was mildly offending the Tendo girl.

"Why" -slash- "are" -slash-slash- "you" -slash-slash-slash- "holding back for?!"

"Holding back?" asked Ryuu, taking a defensive jump back. "I wasn't holding back. I was finding all your weaknesses."

Natsumi barely had time to dodge when Ryuu suddenly barreled forward, feet first, surrounded by flaming spirals of ki, yelling "RYUZANSHO!"

Landing some feet away, Natsumi turned around to see a giant crater where Ryuu had landed, and him standing in the middle of it. He pulled his arms back, then swept them both forward, yelling, "RYUUKUSAI!" Two ki blasts, shaped like blades, flew towards her.

Natsumi swung her staff with a cry of "SHINKUUZAN!" and a swirling tornado whipped out from the rugbeater, colliding with Ryuu's attack.

Unfortunately, the ki blasts cut right through it.

The only benefit of having Kodachi strangle him was that it kept his mind off of her breasts pressing into his back and hips grinding against his rear.

"G-get... off..." croaked Ryouga.

"That's what I'm trying to do, darling," said Kodachi.

"Gaaah!" Panic finally sent Ryouga an idea. He flipped in the air, Kodachi still firmly attached to him, and slammed back-first into the ground. He felt the ribbon loosen and stumbled to his feet.

Planted firmly in the ground, knocked out, was Kodachi. And she stayed down.

Ryouga breathed a sigh of relief.

The match between Tanya and Copycat Ken had suddenly and dramatically turned around in momentum.

It began when Ken took the form of a certain bandanna-clad boy.

YOU!

"Nani?"

KIIIIIIIIIIIILL!

And then it seemed Noori became unstoppable, with a bold,  
fearless barrage of attacks right in Ryouga/Ken's face at a speed his form couldn't keep up with.

Steel wire raked across flesh, soot bombs were slammed into his face at point blank range, and to add to the utter brutality of it all, she slammed a soot scraper in his crotch.

Multiple times.

KILL YOU, BLOODY SONOFABITCH!

Ryouga/Ken staggered helplessly away, then fell to the ground as his mysterious cloak enveloped him entirely.

GET UP, YA BLOODY GIT!

She reached down, pulled the cloak away, and froze.

It was Konatsu.

Bloody, brutalized, beaten Konatsu.

The Kunoichi looked up at Tanya with pleading eyes. "Noori-sama... please don't..."

K... Konatsu?

Tanya reached down tentatively.

And then Konatsu suddenly lashed out with a lightning quick and devastating kick to Tanya's skull.

The last thing Tanya saw, before fading into unconsciousness was Konatsu's mocking, laughing face.

Meanwhile, back at the Ranma vs. Kujo match...

-CHOMP-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Daisuke whistled. "Man, never saw anyone get Ranma this flustered."

"No kidding," said Hiroshi. "I've never even heard of him BITING an opponent until now. Guess Kujo really got him mad."

"PUNY BOY! LET GO OF MY ANKLE!"

Ukyou was breathing heavily, worn down by the very frantic nature of the match. Across the battlefield, spears and arrows were planted in the ground, trap doors were open,  
and Kodachi's pet alligator was finally making its way back into the outside pond where it belonged.

Somehow, Ryo didn't seem terribly fazed by the onslaught of traps. Instead, he kept on being the aggressor, forcing Ukyou to back away all the time. He met her spatula attacks stroke for stroke, batted away the flour bombs, and used his umbrella like a shield when she flung her spatula shuriken at him.

It was feeling to her like a game of cat and mouse, and she wasn't the cat. This smelled of a setup.

Ryo charged again, swiveling the umbrella in his hand in a blur. Ukyou lashed out, but found her spatula caught by the hook end of Ryo's umbrella. She tried to pull back immediately but before she could, he spun, pulling the spatula away while lashing out at her face with a kick. She dodged the kick, but lost her spatula. It went spinning in the air briefly, then was caught in Ryo's left hand.

He held Ukyou's weapon, smiling. His grip on the giant spatula shifted slightly, shattering it into several pieces.

Ukyou turned pale. "My spatula!"

Ryo quietly laughed. The Kuonji girl relied far too much on her giant spatula. Without it he doubted she was going to be any trouble. Just might get the first submission of the match.

"You're weaponless. Surrender?"

Definitely beaten, he thought.

She answered with a sudden and unexpected boot to the head.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" yelled someone in the audience...

Ukyou was pleasant surprised as Ryo stumbled back a few steps, almost falling. There was a barely audible click.

-WHAM-

And then the giant pineapple statue fell on him.

A few seconds passed. Ukyou blinked.

An unusual way to win, but she wouldn't mind.

/THE WINNER, BY KNOCKOUT, UK-/

The giant pineapple statue shattered violently, cutting off the announcer. Chunks of concrete flew everywhere,  
stinging Ukyou and causing everyone to look away, else their eyes get struck by shrapnel.

Before Ukyou looked up again, something seized her by the throat, lifted her into the air, and slammed her into the ground face first. She yelled in pain, twitching slightly,  
but hung on to consciousness. Annoying bright spots swam in her vision as she tried to get up.

Then she felt something slam into her back, knocking the wind out of her. She felt a hand around her neck, choking her, then she was pulled swiftly up in the air.

She heard the telltale click of Ryo's umbrella and was dimly aware of him staring into her eyes with anger and hate.

"RYO! NO!"

Ukyou recognized that voice. Akari. Yelling from the stands.

She wasn't sure, but she thought she heard him call Akari a bitch.

Someone screamed.

Something hard slammed into her face.

The world went black.

-  
\- Wrapup -  
-

Ryouga was beginning to worry. Ukyou was supposed to meet him after their matches were done, but she seemed awfully late. Who was she scheduled to fight this round? He forgot to look it up. He didn't want to look it up. If he walked over to the signboard with the listings he'd get lost along the way and Ukyou would be upset and he wouldn't see her for another week and that just wouldn't do...

"Hey sugar, sorry I'm late."

He blinked, looked around, and saw her behind him.

Why, he wondered, were there bandages on her head?

"Hey, what happened to you?"

"I got eliminated," sighed Ukyou, touching the side of her head gently. She had a headache and just wanted to get somewhere peaceful and relatively quiet (or lacking that, a place with aspirin).

"By who?" She noticed the definite hint of anger in his voice.

"Ryo Muhoshin."

"Why that-" Ryouga's anger was brought to a sudden halt at the gentle touch of Ukyou's hand on his arm.

"Hey, remember what we talked about before the tourney began?" she asked softly. Truth was, she still wasn't recovered from her fight and didn't have enough energy to yell at him.

She'd be damned if she was going to show any signs of weakness to him, though.

"Well, yeah."

"Didn't I tell you I knew what I was getting into?"

"But-"

"Hey, nobody's dead and I just got a little roughed up. I've felt worse. Really."

"Well... okay," said Ryouga reluctantly "But maybe you should see a doctor first? You still look a little dazed."

She smiled ever so faintly. "I'm fine, let's just go."

"You sure? I mean, if you want I could carry you on my back."

She smirked and jokingly swatted his arm away. "Idiot. C'mon, Ranchan and the others are waiting."

"Hrmm." Ranma peered to the left, then the right, and to the left again. He pounded fist on palm and nodded sagely. "Separated at birth, definitely."

"SHUT UP, RANMA!" echoed Ryouga and Ryuu.

Akane applied a swift and firm elbow to Ranma's side.

Ranma held his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Hey,  
just joking!"

This seemed to pacify the bandanna-clad duo, as they both grumbled, giving him one last evil glare before they turned their attention elsewhere. Ryouga looked idly at the television screens while Ryuu chatted with Natsumi most enthusiastically about martial arts.

Meanwhile, Kurumi was looking glum since her Prince Toma was away on some personal matters he had to attend to. She was glaring daggers at Ryuu, and irritated that Natsumi wasn't paying much attention to her.

"Heard ya got eliminated today," Ranma said to Ukyou. "You okay?"

Ryuu complimented Natsumi on her speed and sharpness of form. Natsumi complimented Ryuu on his impressive use of ki. Kurumi blew Ryuu a raspberry, but was easily ignored.

"Yeah, Ranchan, I'm fine," said Ukyou, waving her hand casually in dismissal.

Ryuu took Natsumi's hand and brushed a bandage that was put across her hand. He asked if she wasn't hurt too badly. Natsumi blushed slightly and said she was quite fine, thank you.

Kurumi huffed.

"What happened to you, Ranchan?" asked Ukyou. "You look like you had it worse than me."

Ryouga grinned. "Yeah, tell us about your match, Ranma. Especially that all-powerful Anything Goes Ankle-Biter Technique?" Ryouga had heard, from word of mouth, how Ranma's match went, and was too glad to rub it in his face.

"SHUT UP, RYOUGA!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Ranchan, what's he talking about?" asked Ukyou.

"She's gonna find out sooner or later, Ranma," said Ryouga smugly. "So, you going to tell her or me?"

"I will, okay! Sheesh. You'd probably tell it all wrong anyway."

"I'd just say what happened. Lots of bi-"

"HEY!"

"Okay, enough with the dramatics. Just tell me what happened?" asked Ukyou again.

"Ibittheguy," he mumbled.

"What was that? Couldn't hear you," said Ukyou.

"Yeah, Ranma, say that again?" teased Ryouga.

"I bit the guy, okay?" said Ranma angrily. "You happy now?"

"Bit him on the ankle," added Ryouga.

"Hey man, it was a tough fight!"

"Sure, Ranma, riiiight," said Ryouga.

"He bit me first!" yelled Ranma.

Ukyou frowned. "He did? Ew."

"On Ranma's butt," filled in Akane.

Ukyou and Ryouga burst out laughing. Ryuu and Natsumi were in a world of their own. Kurumi was doing her best to destroy that world.

Ranma glared at his fiancee. "Akane! What'd ya go and tell'em for?!"

"Oh please, they'd have found out sooner or later," said Akane. "If we hadn't arrived here first they'd have seen it."

"Seen what?" asked Ukyou.

Akane looked at Ranma. "C'mon, show it."

"No way!" protested Ranma.

"C'mon, Ranchan, let's have a look," teased Ukyou.

"Come on, it's not that bad," soothed Akane.

Ranma scowled. He stood up and turned around, revealing two distinct bitemarks. One was a nasty set of rips along his arm, the other was a definite big chomp to his left posterior cheek. Through the holes, his boxers and some bandages were visible.

"Happy now?" asked Ranma grumpily.

"Yes dear," said Akane, smirking.

"Hey, Ranma, that was two bites he got on you?" asked Nabiki, not bothering to look up from her laptop.

"Um, yeah."

"How many bruises?" asked Nabiki.

"What?"

"Just answer the question. How many bruises?"

"A dozen, I think."

"Damn. Cuts?"

"Three. Nabiki, why a-"

"How many minutes was the match?"

"It w-"

"Nevermind, got it here. Fifteen minutes thirty-two seconds. Damn."

"Huh?"

"Did the guy break your... no, never mind, it's obvious your nose isn't broken. Whew! Dodged a bullet there."

"Nabiki, why are you asking me this stuff?"

"Your injuries are part of a gambling pool. Just needed to confirm'em."

"WHAT?!"

From across the room, Hiroshi could faintly be heard crying. "Everything but the broken nose! So close!"

"Cheer up, man," said Daisuke. "We can still recover from this."

Ukyou took a moment to glare angrily at a certain slim,  
arrogant figure that was seated across the cafe, cozying up in a couch with a certain pig-obsessed girl. She was very much worried about Akari's welfare.

"What's that on your tie, Ryo-kun?" asked Akari.

"Hm? This?" He put down the small stack of paper he was reading over and examined his tie briefly. "I think it's a little bit of Miss Kuonji's blood."

Akari 'eep'ed and turned away, repulsed by the sight of blood. "Ryo! You shouldn't wear it now!"

He gave her a questioning glance. "But this is my favorite tie."

"But it has... that's... Ryo, please?" asked Akari. "Please?"

"Geeeh." He narrowed his eyes, mumbled under his breath for a moment, then removed the tie. "Anything for you,  
dear," he said with a forced smile.

"Thank you, Ryo-kun," said Akari. "I wanted to ask..."

"Hm?"

"Did you have to be so rough with Ukyou today?"

"Rough? Because of you I fought without use of my blade. I'd say I held back."

"But you hit her head several times... violently... well..."

"Your point?" he asked.

"Did you have to be so violent in the match?"

"Yes," he replied simply.

"But-"

"Akari, dear, we're martial artists. We expect this sort of thing."

"But-"

"Darling, relax. It's normal. Really."

Akari sighed. "Well, if you say so." She sat back again, putting her head on his shoulder and lazily read over the paper he was reading.

"Ryo?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What's that you're reading?"

"Oh, this?" he asked, waving the paper slightly. "A list of the remaining fighters in the tournament. See? There's Saotome, Kumon, Hibiki, Magical Girl... aheheh... Kuruma.  
Aheheheh."

Akari frowned. "Magical Girl Kuruma? Ryo, what's so funny?"

"She's pathetic, that's all. Aheheheh. Ah. Nevermind." He shuffled through the papers more, 'hmm'ing every now and then.

"Why are you looking at all this?" asked Akari.

"Know thy enemy, Akari," said Ryo sagely. "Best way to prepare. Oh, look at this one, PANTYHOSE Taro. What a name, eh?" Ryo laughed slightly while Akari frowned again.

"That's his name?" asked Akari.

"Seems to be," said Ryo gleefully. "Either that or he's quite a pervAAAAK!"

Ryo Muhoshin found himself lifted up in the air, by a single arm, belonging to a very irate young man in Chinese clothing.

"Watch your mouth, skinny," said the man solemnly.

Ryo blinked, still dazed from the sudden change in altitude. Then he noticed something: the person who was currently responsible for his sudden change of altitude seemed to have a very peculiar sash.

"Say," he said, looking at it. "Is that a pantyhose sash you're wearing?"

"So what if it is?" growled the other.

Ryo met the other's glare with a maniacal stare of his own. "Would your name happen to be... PANTYHOSE?!  
HAHAHAHAHAAA"

His umbrella was just within reach, leaning on the couch.

He reached for it.

From across the room, King frowned. "TAKE IT OUTSIDE,  
YOU TWO!"

Ukyou stood up slightly, peering at something that was happening across the room. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh what?" asked Ryouga.

"Trouble."

"What kinda of trouble?" asked Ranma, also standing up slightly, although wincing from the bites.

"Looks like we might have a brawl break out. Look." She pointed across the room, where someone was holding Ryo up by the collar of his shirt.

"Damn," said Ryouga. "Him."

Ranma nodded and narrowed his eyes. "Taro."

"Who?" asked Ukyou.

"Pantyhose Taro," said Ranma. "Tough fighter. Jusenkyou cursed too."

Ryouga nodded. "Looks like he's about to start something with-"

Before he could finish, Ryo started laughing maniacally.

-CRASH-

Taro tossed him through the window.

"Brawl it is," said Ukyou.

Ranma and Ryouga sat back down.

Akane looked a bit confused, then shrugged.

"What're you guys doing?" asked Ukyou.

"Taro's a jerk, Muhoshin's a jerk," said Ryouga. "We shouldn't interfere."

In the distance, thunder rumbled.

"Sounds like rain," observed Ryouga.

"Really? This is gonna be messy," said Ranma.

"Why's that?" asked Ukyou.

"When Taro gets wet, he turns into a big..."

"Really big," added Ryouga.

"... yeah, really big bull-like monster."

Ukyou blinked. "He fell into a spring of drowned bull?"

"Nope," replied Ryouga. "He fell into a spring of drowned... um... what was it?"

"Drowned yeti-riding-a-goat-while-holding-a-crane-and-an-eel," answered Ranma.

Ukyou stared at them. "You're kidding."

"Nope," they both said.

Ukyou tapped her foot for a moment, then frowned when she saw Akari make her way to the front door.

"Someone's gotta stop that girl from getting in trouble," Ukyou muttered.

She wondered why Ryo had to be so... mean at times. It was hard for her to believe he was the same person that was always sweet and kind to her.

After Ryo sailed through the window and Taro stomped to the door, Akari sighed, stood up, and took a few steps to the door.

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," said Ukyou. "You should be more careful. A girl like you might get hurt when people like those two get in a brawl."

"But-"

"If things get out of control, I'll get the guys to help. But if there's one thing I learned in my life, it's that a martial artist really hates it when their fight gets interrupted."

Ryo landed on his back, outside on the sidewalk, but recovered nicely with a roll and was back on his feet.

He was in trouble.

He didn't have his umbrella.

As Taro stormed out of the front, Ryo dug in his pockets and quickly put on his leather gloves. Not as good as umbrella, but better than nothing.

He could have backed down.

He could have apologized.

He'd been given the lovey-dovey treatment by Akari for the last month, been denied the opportunity to go full-out against the Kuonji girl, and desperately needed to maim someone. Anyone.

Even if the odds were a little bad at the moment.

"Come on, PANTYHOSE!" he spat.

Behind Taro, a small crowd spilled out into the street to watch the match. Akari was there, looking very worried and accompanied by Ukyou.

Taro roared in blind rage and charged. Ryo stood his ground. The two threw a furious round of punches and kicks at each other. Ryo managed to land only a few, with Taro dodging gracefully from most of his strikes. Ryo was struck with a good number of Taro's punches, but seemed only to sneer more with each blow.

In truth, those punches hurt, but he wasn't about to show it.

Finally, Ryo went for his 'trademark' move of the tournament so far. Ignoring the half-dozen quick and powerful punches that landed on his chest and made his lungs crumple, he reached forward and grabbed Taro's neck in an iron grip.

Ryo lifted Taro up in the air, prepared to slam him into the ground, then reeled back as Taro's foot slammed into his jaw.

He refused to let go.

Then Taro kicked him again.

This time he let go, clutching at his face and staggering in pain.

And once again he found himself lifted up by his collar,  
staring into Taro's enraged eyes.

High above, stormclouds brewed. A streak of lightning ripped across the sky. Both looked up.

Taro began to laugh.

Ryo could hear Akari call out his name. He really hoped she wouldn't interrupt.

"What's so funny, PANTYHOSE?" snapped Ryo. Sure, he was in pain, but again, there was no way he was going to let Pantyhose know it.

Ryo wondered why Taro was just standing there and laughing.

Then it began to rain.

From inside the cafe, Ranma and company heard the crowd outside shriek in terror.

"Think it started raining yet?" asked Ryouga.

There was a monstrous roar, shaking the glass in the building.

"I think so," said Ranma.

A large amount of the crowd that was watching scattered.

Akari was screaming for Ryo and was being held back by Ukyou, who could only do that and stare in disbelief.

"They weren't kidding," she managed to mumble.

Ryo was shocked.

Speechless, really.

It seemed his adversary had suddenly turned into a titanic minotaur-esque creature, taller than the cafe they had just recently exited. Even worse, he was being held tightly in the monster's fist.

That wasn't quite right.

No, that was impossible.

"Erah..."

The creature seemed amused, and snickered in a bull-esque sort of way.

Ryo blinked. "You... you're Taro?"

The thing seemed to grin. It had really big teeth.

The old Muhoshin wit finally came back to him.

"So," said Ryo, finally back to looking snide, "how did this occur? Your mother get too friendly with the livestock?"

Taro roared angrily, causing the remaining few of the crowds to cover their ears. A few windows broke. Car alarms went off.

Ryo grinned, reaching down swiftly with his hands. "Die."

The next thing Taro experienced, to his shock and total surprise, was a fair amount of pain as his fingernails exploded. His hand opened in reaction to the pain and Ryo landed neatly at Taro's feet.

Muhoshin grinned as he landed. The monster had hooves.

Perfect.

As quick as a snake, Ryo reached out.

"You think Taro's done beating Ryo into the ground?" asked Ryouga.

"Still lotsa noise coming from out there," observed Ranma. "Where'd Ucchan go?"

"To make sure Akari didn't get in trouble," said Ryouga. "Hope she's all right." After a few minutes of tapping his feet, he stood up. "I'm going out there."

"As long as she doesn't try to butt in on the fight," said Ranma. "I don't see why..."

He was distracted as a roar bellowed out again. This time, however, something was different.

Ranma frowned. "That... kinda sounded like Taro was hurt, didn't it?"

"Yeah," said Ryouga. "I wonder wha-"

Ryo, dripping wet, stormed back into the cafe, grabbed his umbrella, and stormed back out.

"What the heck is going on out there?" asked Ranma.

"Well, let's find out."

Twirling his umbrella quickly, Ryo strolled by a horrified Akari, paused, said to her, "This will just be a minute," then stomped over to the hobbled beast.

"You son of a bovine-screwing wench, GET UP!" Ryo looked down at the collapsed form of Taro, his feet reduced to two bloody unusable stumps.

"Come on, PANTYHOSE!" taunted Ryo. He held his umbrella up and a rapier-like end sprang out of it. Ryo stomped around Taro and slashed at his limbs whenever Taro tried to lash out at him. The rain still fell, mixing with Taro's blood to make a muddy red bog of mud under Taro's form.

"PANTYHOSE! HA!" Ryo strode within Taro's arm reach,  
then lashed out with his umbrella as Taro's hand lumbered out to swat him. Five more fingernails exploded.

Taro roared in pain.

Ryo began to laugh.

"Ryo, that's enough. Please?" said Akari timidly.

Muhoshin ignored her completely.

"Get up, COW! GET UP!"

Ryo stomped again towards what was left of Taro's hooves and gave them several swift kicks. Taro reacted with violent thrashing and a bellow of pain and rage.

"HA! HA! FEEL THAT?!"

And then Ryo grinned like the devil.

"How could I forget the HORNS? HA!" He stomped around again, easily avoiding Taro's flailing limbs, but was unable to get past them so as to detonate Taro's horns.

"He's beat okay?" said Ukyou. "Stop already!"

Ryo didn't bother to turn around. "Why, Kuonji, you talk as if it was human."

"It is," said Ukyou firmly. "True martial artists don't pick on the weak."

"Whatever," dismissed Ryo. He turned his attention back to Taro, who was trying to rise to his knees. "Don't you know when to stop moving?" he spat. The umbrella made a mechanical noise, and the rapier-like tip was replaced with a blade. "If I have to cut your arms off first, I will!"

He reared back, getting ready to slash.

A hand grabbed his, stopping the slash.

"That's enough."

Ryo narrowed his eyes.

He turned around.

Hibiki was holding him back. Behind him, Ranma, Ukyou,  
Ryuu, Natsumi, and Kurumi stood ready.

"Hibiki, tell everyone to stay out of my recreation."

"You've beaten him, that's enough," said Ryouga firmly.

"Ryo-kun, please, let's go?" asked Akari, clearly shaken by what just happened.

Ryouga tightened his grip on Ryo's hand. They both knew Ryo wouldn't be able to break that hold.

The blade snapped back into the umbrella.

"Fine," hissed Ryo. With disturbing abruptness, he quickly moved his hair back into place with his hands, wiped off the blood on his face with a handkerchief, popped open his umbrella (despite the fact that he was already drenched from the rain) and smiled a pleasant, warm, smile at Akari. "Let's go, dearest."

With Akari by his side, Ryo walked away whistling happily. Ukyou stared at them both and frowned deeply. She -had- to convince Akari to leave him before things got bad.

Ranma stared at the mess Taro was. His fingers and feet were bleeding steadily, and he was afraid to guess at how much of Taro's feet would be gone when they poured hot water on him.

"Damn... this is a mess." Ranma looked to Akane. "Go get Dr. Tofu."

"WAI-HHYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

*POW*

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooowwwwwwf!"

*SPLASH*

"WAI! Like that?!" asked Kyoko, beaming happily.

Soun smiled, a tad nervously, and nodded. "That... was very good, Kyoko-chan. Yes... very good."

"Wai! Waiwaiwai!" The little girl hopped around with glee and far more energy than Soun felt humans should be with.

She was still bouncing around.

He was tired.

Saotome was unconscious.

"That's... all for today Kyoko-chan."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Okaaay. Foo."

The two bowed respectfully to each other, but with Soun keeping a wary eye on the girl. Afterwards, they entered the house, welcomed by Kasumi's call to dinner, the smells of yet another Kasumi Tendo feast, and the sight of a small gathering of young martial artists...

"Why, Ranma?! Why couldn't ya let the guy break your nose?" *SOB*

"Aw, cut it out Hiroshi!"

"Akaaaaaaaaneeeeeeeee-neesaaaaaan!"

Akane had little time to react before she was bowled over by a charging Kyoko, tumbling slightly along the floor.  
Fortunately, she was sitting down already, so it wasn't that bad of a tumble.

"Hyperactive little bundle, isn't she?" noted Ukyou.

Soun soon followed and joined the rest at the table.  
"So, how was the tournament today? My little girl still going strong?" He laughed and gave a warm smile to Akane,  
who returned it with a halfhearted smile of her own.

"Sorry, dad. I... was beaten today."

Kyoko gasped. "Akane-neesan lost?" Her big brown eyes began to well up with tears, showing promise to rival Soun's legendary bawls.

Soun looked somewhat melancholy for a moment, then gave Akane a solemn look. "The path of a true martial artist is one filled with adversity, but so long as you tried your best, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Y'think he's gonna burst out in tears?" whispered Hiroshi to Daisuke.

"Bet you he won't," whispered Nabiki.

"You're on."

"Well, I did try the best I could," said Akane tentatively. She knew what was coming. So did everyone else.

"I'm so proud of my little girl!" Soun wrapped Akane in an affectionate hug and his eyes threatened to burst into tears.

Hiroshi and Nabiki held their breaths.

"Daaaaaaad," said Akane, in that 'Daaaaaad' way that said, basically, 'I'm getting embarrassed'.

Soun released Akane, wiping a small tear from his eye.  
Immediately after, Kyoko resumed her glomp, her good humor restored. "WAIIIIII! AKAAAAAAANEEEEE-NEEEESAAAAAN!"

"Aak!" *THUD*

"Ha! Waterworks!" hissed Nabiki to Hiroshi.

"You call that waterworks?!" hissed Hiroshi back. "That was just a drop!"

Taro was mad.

Sitting in Dr. Tofu's clinic, fingers and feet bandaged,  
anesthetic running through his veins to dull the throbbing pain and numb his mind, Pantyhose Taro still felt rage.

Finally, a chance to get a REAL name, a chance that he had a REAL shot at, crushed by some anonymous jerk! How DARE he!

"Tough luck, Pantyhose."

Taro was too tired to try and smash him. A tired,  
resigned, "what the hell do you want?" was what he said instead.

"Tsk tsk tsk, you sound so defeated," said Happosai,  
jumping out from the window and by Taro's bed. "That's no way for a martial artist to talk."

"Shut up, old man, I'm not in the mood for it tonight."

"How bad's the damage?"

"Fingers are okay, just bruised and bleeding a little. Minor cuts on my arms. Bones in my toes are fractured or broken. I won't be walking for a while."

"I see, I see," said Happosai, nodding sagely. "That kid's more vicious than I though. Didn't think he had it in him."

In a voice that expressed a promise of painful, fiery,  
bloody vengeance, Taro asked:

"Who?"

"Hm?"

"Who was he?"

"Ryo Muhoshin, a more recent addition to the neighborhood." Happosai took a long drag from his pipe, then blew a few smoke panties. Wistfully, he watched them drift away. "Just what an old man like me needs to keep his edge,  
don't you think?"

"Is... is that all we are to you?" asked Taro, his voice slurred a bit. The sedatives, he observed, were finally hitting hard. "Just... just here to... amuse you?"

"When you've lived as long as I have, you end up with interesting hobbies."

"So... my name stays... Pan... er... as it is now?"

Happosai mulled it over briefly. "Hrm. Yes, I guess so."

"Damn."

"Well, try again next year, hm?"

"Next... year?"

"Yes, the next King of Nerima tournament! You WILL be there, won't you?"

"The same... deal?"

"Of course."

"Count on it."

There was a noticeable chill in the air that suddenly swept the Tendo home. It began after the door opened. Of course, Kasumi didn't notice it.

"Muhoshin-san, hello!"

"Good evening, Kasumi-san."

Ryouga blinked. "She didn't just say..."

In from the hallway, following behind Kasumi, strode Ryo Muhoshin. He still looked a bit soggy, with disturbing red stains remaining on his shirt and his ever-present umbrella tucked under his arm. The room fell silent and still, with all eyes watching him carefully. Ranma and Ryouga tensed.  
Ukyou scowled. Hiroshi, Daisuke, and Nabiki kept a careful watch of his actions as well.

"Kyoko is done for the evening, yes?" asked Ryo.

"Yes, in fact she had dinner with us."

Ryo smiled an honestly warm and friendly smile. On his face, it looked unnatural. "You're entirely too gracious,  
Kasumi-san."

"Let me go get Kyoko-chan, I think she's in the dojo with Akane."

The moment Kasumi left the room, Ryo's face snapped into a cold, condescending, arrogant mask. He took a moment to slowly look at each person in the room, examining them like insects under glass.

"My, it seems quiet in here," he said mockingly. "You'd think someone almost died."

More silence.

His sharp gaze focused on Ukyou and he strolled near her.  
"How's things, Kuonji? I didn't hit you too hard, did I?"

Everyone in the room glared at him.

It was at this moment that a 12 year old bundle of hyperactivity chose to shatter the mood.

"Oniiiiiiiiii-SAN!" *GLOMP*

"Awk!" -thud-.

Kyoko bounced up and down merrily, pouting prettily.  
"Oniiiii-san! YoumissedKasumi-neesan's dinner!"

Still reeling slightly from the impact, Ryo blinked then gave a non-descript stare to his sister. "Ah. My loss. Now let me stand."

Kasumi entered, followed by Akane. Seeing the commotion,  
Kasumi smiled and giggled. She always did so like happy little children at play. "Oh my."

Akane, on the other hand, immediately frowned.

Kyoko beamed widely, wavewavewaving her hand with vigor as she bounced merrily up and down on Ryo's chest. And the bouncee...

Ryo's face shifted once again into that alien look of actual normal human behaviour and politeness. He picked up Kyoko and tucked her under an arm as he stood up. "Well,  
we'll be taking our leave now. Come along, child."

"Okay, nii-san! Baibaibai!" Kyoko waved happily at Kasumi and Akane as she was carried out.

After they left, Akane shook her head in disbelief. "How can a girl like that be the younger sister of a jerk like him?"

"Well, look at Kasumi and look at you," said Ranma casually.

*WHAM*

"Ooooow..."

The walk, he was hoping, was going to be a peaceful,  
quiet thing. With a child like Kyoko, Ryo should have had lower hopes.

"Nii-san?" Kyoko tugged at his shirt.

"What?"

Kyoko pokepokepokepokepoked at his chest. "What's that stuff? It's icky!"

Ryo winced a bit at being poked. "Blood, Kyoko. Dried blood."

"Why? Wha'happened, nii-san?"

"I battled a large bull-thing and turned its feet into bloody stumps."

"Oh." Kyoko blinked repeatedly for a moment. "So you won?"

"Yes."

"Wai!"

"Wai indeed." Ryo took a deep breath. "Well, do you have your analysis of the Anything Goes style ready?"

"Yes...! Want ice cream!"

"Er, what?"

"Ice cream!" Kyoko pointed at a Yojojimbo's 42 Flavors ice cream parlor.

"Ice cream," said Ryo flatly.

"Mm-hm! Ice creaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!"

"Right."

-a few minutes later-

"Happy now?"

Kyoko, with eyes wide and sparkling, looked happily at her five-scoop ice cream cone. "Mm-hm!"

"Okay, now abou-"

"I'm tired."

"Eh? Tired?"

"Mm-hmmmmmm!"

Ryo frowned, then backed away with a slightly agitated look on his face. "You are NOT going to ask me to..."

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeee, oniisan?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeee?"

"No.

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-"

"OKAY, OKAY, JUST STOP IT!"

-a moment later-

Ryo looked upwards with a scowl on his face. "Do NOT let that ice cream drip on me. Understand?"

"Mm-hm!"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"Yep! Yepyepyep!"

"Right."

This, in his mind, was not good. He had an image to keep up. Ryo Muhoshin, the 'Dapper Destroyer' as the television people were beginning to call him, giving his little sister a ride on his shoulders? He would be terminally embarrassed.  
Witnesses would have to be killed.

"Well, how did things go at the Tendo's today?" he asked.

"Went good!"

"Right. Learn anything interesting?"

"Mm-hm! The essential philosophy of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts!" she said proudly.

"Ah. Good. Tell me when we get home, I'm too tired to listen now."

"Oh. Okay!"

They traveled through city blocks, quiet roads, and serene bridges in silence. That was exactly what Ryo was hoping for, and the ice cream served its purpose, keeping her too busy to chatter away at hyper speed.

-splat-

"KYOKO."

"Oopsie. Sorry."

Well, there was a drawback, but...

-splat-

"AHEM."

"Oopsie!"

"Grrr..."

"Come away with me," said Prince Toma in a suave (well,  
as suave as one can get with a squeaky pubescent voice)  
manner. "You'll be the princess of my kingdom isle."

"Oh Toma," sighed Kurumi.

They held hands.

They embraced.

The bridge exploded under their feet and they tumbled through the air for what seemed like an eternity until they hit the water below.

"Why'dyadothat?" asked Kyoko, peering curiously over the jagged edge of what was left of the bridge.

"Stress relief," said Ryo, twirling his umbrella, "just a little stress relief. Feel much better now." He took a moment to kick some rubble into the water as well, then resumed his stroll.

"Oh. How'dya do inna tournament?" she asked.

"Did well."

"As usual?"

"As usual."

"Oh. Wai! Wai wai wai-"

"Yes yes yes, wai wai wai."

"Where's Akari-neesan?"

"Don't ask."

"Whynot? I don'tsee her a lot," she said, pouting. "You don't let me talk to her enough."

"Oh my, really?"

"Mm-hm!"

"Oh well."

"Oniisan?"

"Hm?"

"Could you... um..."

"Say it."

"Could you sing that song for me?"

"_What_?"

"Sing the song you said Mommy used to sing. Wanna hear it again."

He glared at her harshly. "No."

"Please?" She widened her eyes and pouted.

"No."

"Pleeease?"

"N... all right, but you have to analyze some extra combat footage of Ranma and Ryouga for me, okay?"

"Okay. Sing!"

Ryo sighed.

He took a deep breath.

"Nobody had better be in earshot aside from you."

"Sing! Singsingsing!"

"Right. Sing."

"Wai!"

Ryo rolled his eyes up. "Wai me?"

"Hey!"

"Ah, right."

o/" Somewhere... beyond the sea...o/" o/" Somewhere... waiting for me o/" o/" My lover stands on golden saaaaaaaaands o/" o/" and watches the ships that go saaaaaaaailing o/"

"Your turn."

Kyoko nodded happily, and belted out in a cheery voice:

o/" Somewhere... beyond the sea o/" o/" She's there watching for me o/" o/" if I could fly like birds on high o/" o/" then straight to her arms I'd go saaaaaailing o/"

"Duet!" yelled Kyoko.

Ryo sighed. "Right, right."

And together they yowled...

o/" It's faaaaar, beyond the staaaaaars o/"  
o/" It's neeeear, beyond the moon o/"  
o/" I knoooooooow, beyond a doubt! o/"  
o/" My heart will lead me there soon! o/"  
o/" We'll meet, beyond the shore o/"  
o/" Then we'll kiss, just as before o/"  
o/" Happy we'll be beyond the seeeeeeeeeea o/" and never again I'll go saaaaiiilin'. o/"

[Much later...]

At Ucchan's, Ryouga and Ukyou were lounging about Ukyou's 'living room', a small area big enough to fit one couch and a large television. Both were seated on the couch at the moment, Ryouga just watching while Ukyou munched on some rice cakes, soda, and channel surfed as if born with the talent.

"So, it's just me and him," said Ryouga quietly.

"Hm?" Ukyou wanted to say. However, with a mouth full of rice cakes, it came out as "MMMF?"

"From the old days, I mean."

"Oh," she meant to say. Instead, it was, "MF."

"I mean, it used to be me, Ranma, and Mousse in the old days."

"MF!"

"Oh yeah, of course, you, Akane and Shampoo too."

"Mf."

"I guess I just miss the way we all used to hang out together, even if we were trying to kill each other."

"Mm?"

"I mean, sure we can visit Ranma and Akane any time, but now it just feels... awkward. Don't you think so?"

"Mm."

"Was that a yes or no?"

"Mm."

"Um... one 'mm' for yes, two for no."

"Mm."

"Oh. Okay."

Ukyou finally swallowed and washed down the rice cakes with a chug from the bottle of cola.

"Ah. Much better."

"I've never seen you eat like that before," said Ryouga.

Ukyou sighed and rested her chin in her palms. "I haven't been beaten in a long while. Then again, I haven't been in competition for a long while."

"You go on eating binges when you get depressed?" asked Ryouga.

"Well, yeah. But thanks to a great natural metabolism I haven't gotten chubby yet."

She sped through several more channels, then sighed and stopped. "I was kinda hoping to actually win this thing,  
even if there was Ranma at the end."

"Huh?"

"Ranma. C'mon, you know he always wins these things. It's the way things seem to work around here. If it's got martial arts and Ranma's in it, he'll win sooner or later."  
She sunk into the couch and frowned. "It would've been nice to win... at least once."

Ryouga looked grim for a moment, looking away and out the window into the night sky.

"I'll beat him," he said quietly.

"Hm?"

"I'll win this. I beat him before, once."

"At what?"

"The Martial Arts Obstacle Race."

"Sugar, I hate to break it to ya, but this is gonna be a lot harder than a race."

"You'll see," said Ryouga with grim determination.  
"I'll win."

Ukyou smiled. "Well, good luck sugar. You'll need it."

-end part 2-

***SPOILERS***

WRITER'S NOTES:  
The Big Index of Obscure Ranma 1/2 Characters for the King of Nerima Tournament -

Copycat Ken (anime)  
Physically, he's somewhat shorter than Ryouga, sporting a white t-shirt, slacks, suspenders, and a red bandanna draped over his head exactly like Genma. His specialty is imitating other martial artists to an uncanny degree,  
even taking on their physical appearance and voice. He can 'morph' into other fighters when he pulls out a dark green cloak and covers himself with it briefly, taking only a second for the change to take place. He managed to defeat Kuno, Mousse, Ryouga and Ranma once before, but Ranma managed to tap into inner reserves and execute the chestnut fist at a speed which Ken just couldn't match.

Ryuu Kumon: (MANGA/(anime?))

Many years ago, Genma offered a scroll containing the secrets of his secret 'Yamasen-ken' technique to the master of the Kumon dojo in exchange for some food. A short while later, the Kumon dojo, with Kumon-san inside,  
crashed to the ground. Ryuu Kumon, the son, blamed Genma for the fall of the Kumon Dojo. He also mastered the Yamasen-ken techniques, which were deadly enough to defeat Ranma in combat. He posed as Ranma for a while to get the complimenting style of martial arts, 'Umisen-ken'  
from Ranma's mother. To defeat Ryuu, Ranma learned the Umisen-ken and used it to defeat Ryuu Kumon, also making him promise to never use the Yamasen-ken techniques ever again. He's had an occasional mean streak, little patience, but does have enough honor to be a man of his word. In terms of martial arts skill, he gave Ranma a run for his money, defeating him once. It'd be fair to say that Ryuu is as good as anyone that's ever been a Nerima martial artist.

Ebiten: (MOVIE1) Short fellow that wields a fishing rod. Member of the 7 Lucky Gods Martial Arts Dojo.

Sarotoru: (MOVIE2)  
Monkey-man that has the ability to force his opponents into a state of severe depression via odd ki blast. Was unfortunate enough to do this technique to Ryouga.

Kimiyasu Daitokuji (manga) Master of Men's Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Arts. Leader of a team of gymnastics martial artists that challenged Kodachi's team.

Pantyhose Taro (ANIME/MANGA) boy that was baptized by Happosai many years ago. Unfortunately, he was baptized in Jusenkyou, into the spring of yeti riding a bull while carrying an eel and a crane. He's been after Happosai, demanding that he change his name. By tradition, only the one that baptized Taro can change his name, so that leaves only Happosai to do the job. He's been far from willing to do that, feeling that Pantyhose is a perfectly fine name. In human form he can hold his own against Ranma, although the two have never had a definitive human vs. human match before. At the most, they've fought briefly with no definite outcome. In his cursed form Taro is incredibly powerful, fully capable of taking any challenger on... except Happosai.

misc.

Magical Girl Kuruma made her first appearance in The Pursuit of Happiness Act 1 part 2. She's a bit new at this magical girl thing...

Plasticite: Nobody important.

Masakari Kujo made his first appearance as an april fools TPOH shortfic written by Mike Loader. The guy was too good not to use,  
so alas here he is now.

Sakamoto Rei: nobody important, really.  



	19. Major Arcana

\- - English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

=========================== The Pursuit of Happiness ACT 2 The Kings of Nerima Part 3 Major Arcana ===========================

[Furinkan High, Lunch Hour]

"Good days these are, my friend," said Hiroshi happily. "Good days indeed."

Daisuke scowled and paused in mid-count of a handful of yen. "Shut up, man, you'll make me lose count."

"Hi boys," said one voice, definitely female and somewhat sultry.

"So, I heard you boys were really cleaning up in the tournament, hm?" said the other female voice.

Daisuke froze, wide eyed, frozen in mid-yen-count, while Hiroshi had enough presence of mind to stuff his fist full of yen in his pockets.

"Um, ah, hey!" stumbled Hiroshi. "Sayuri! Yuka! Ladies! Um, hey!"

Yuka settled down demurely by Hiroshi while Sayuri took a seat next to Daisuke.

"So, what'cha gonna do with all that money?" asked Sayuri, idly running a finger over the fistful of cash that was still in Daisuke's hand.

"Oh, well, nothing much, really," stuttered Daisuke. "I mean, we still have to gamble on today's matches."

"Yeah, what he said," added Hiroshi, definitely uncomfortable with the way Yuka was suddenly so friendly with him. There were warning bells going off in his mind,  
but the heat generated by the nearby female contact was short-circuting most of his suspicion functions.

"How DO you end up picking the winners all the time?" asked Sayuri coyly.

"Um, well, gosh, it's nothing, really." stammered Hiroshi.

"We just, well, we know these guys pretty well, so we know what to expect," said Daisuke.

"I don't suppose, you'd, oh, tell us who your picks are for the next round, Daisuke-chan?" Sayuri blinked cutely and leaned against him ever-so-slightly.

"Um, sure, I guess," said Daisuke.

"Don't see why not," said Hiroshi, smiling nervously.

"... and Copycat Ken is the final pick." Sayuri flipped her notebook closed and tucked it away in her pocket. "It worked like a charm, just as you said it would, chief."

Nabiki smirked. "Of course it would. Like I told you,  
men's minds are weak. With a wink and a smile, they become putty in a woman's hand. Now... adjust our odds as follows..."

Somewhere in the streets of Nerima, a young girl was strolling about and humming happily. The long streams of the headband she wore flowed with the wind. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the moment.

These were good days indeed.

Her path towards repeating as the champion of the King of Nerima tournament was free and clear so far.

And she was even getting...

"Excuse me... aren't you..."

She nodded.

"Kasugano-san! Can I have your autograph!"

"Sure, no problem."

It was a good time to be the reigning King of Nerima... even if the title should've technically been Queen.

Currently sitting at the bar, staring out the window,  
Ryoko Muhoshin was following a time-honored tradition amongst bar folk.

Ryoko Muhoshin was mulling.

Normally, her older brother would be doing this sort of thing, but she'd observed far too much in the past month to ignore things.

She was, although she disliked the term, stalking Ryouga.

Whenever she had time off from the cafe, she'd spend her time watching from afar as he made his way through school. Her heart would reach out for him when he was lost and frustrated, wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood. Her heart would sing with passion as she watched through his window and watched him sleep peacefully at night.

She fell into an absolute murderous rage when she thought of what else she saw.

There were others. Other girls. Falling for Ryouga.

Her Ryouga.

The Kuno girl she despised easily. The arrogance,  
haughtiness, and obscene manner in which she pursued Ryouga infuriated her so.

There was that girl... the girl who often was seen with her elder brother's weakling look-alike... Ryoko'd seen her looking at Ryouga many times with the unmistakable look of love unrequited. As long as it stayed that way, she didn't mind.

The next two, however... she was wondering if she was becoming as mad as her brother.

There was a look, that _look_ in her eyes, when she was looking at Ryouga sometimes. And the few times they talked together, they seemed to be uncannily comfortable with each other. And yet... it didn't make sense. Why, she wondered,  
why did it seem that Akari and Ryouga were a little too close? Paranoia? Her own anxieties?

There WAS something between Ryouga and Ukyou, though. The way they looked at each other when the other wasn't looking. The way she fussed over him. The way he blushed sometimes when he was around her.

She denied it. He denied it. But Ryoko saw it.

This situation was a multi-faceted time bomb waiting to happen.

The only question now was what to do about it.

Kurumi and Natsumi stood on the street corner, looking with longing at the Tendo home. They'd always been treated well there, even when it was revealed Soun Tendo wasn't really their father. It was the only place they ever knew that felt like a normal home.

But it wasn't their home, and they knew it. They weren't worthy of it. Not yet.

"Do we really have to leave?" asked Kurumi.

"You know we do," said Natsumi sternly. "We must continue training."

"I know, I know." Kurumi sighed. "I wish we could at least say goodbye to Prince Toma."

Natsumi rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't be distracted from the art by boys, Kurumi."

"Oh? Is that so? What about you and Ryuu? Hmm?" asked Kurumi, poking Natsumi on the side.

Natsumi blushed. "I-I don't know what you're talking about," she said quickly.

\- Round Five -

This was it.

This was the matchup of the day.

In the center of Nerima Stadium, Ranma Saotome warily eyed his opponent.

This was not going to be easy.

Not because the odds were against him. He honestly thought that if he went all-out, he'd win.

Not because of his fading endurance. Despite being worn down by the constant and daily matches, he felt he had plenty enough left to make it to the end.

Not because his opponent was the defending champion. It didn't really count in his mind. After all, he was stuck on Toma's Island when the tourney was held last year.

It was, however, going to be a bit tricky winning.

You see, Ranma Saotome didn't hit girls.

And the defending champion was a girl.

"Hi! I'm Sakura Kasugano," said the girl. "Nice to meet you!"

"Hi. Ranma Saotome. You the reigning champion?"

She nodded cheerfully. "That's me!"

There was something awfully familiar about the girl. Short dark hair, hand guards, white headband, and that stance, definitely Shotokan karate.

There was something definitely familiar.

/AND FIGHTING IN THE NAME OF TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND LOVE... MAGICAL GIRL KURUMA!/

The crowd cheered wildly as the sailor-fuku clad girl flew in from the sky, her Power Staff of Love in hand. She waved to the crowds and got a magnificent roar of approval in response.

/AND FROM THE UNORTHODOX WEAPONRY SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS, RYO MUHOSHIN!/

Kuruma blinked. Muhoshin?

Oh no.

Ryo walked to the field with an arrogance more powerful than some battle auras. The grin on his face reminded her very much of a shark.

As he walked up to Kuruma, Ryo bowed slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Say," he said. "Haven't we met before?"

They had, and this time she wouldn't be able to call the police.

The first words out of Ryouga's mouth when he saw his opponent was this:

"Oh no."

The man was... well... big.

He defined the phrase 'big man'.

Sumo wrestlers looked like infants compared to him.

The Dojo Destroyer was a size medium next to him.

This man was just _big_.

He'd seen him once before, during one of the many times Akane had been kidnapped, but that still didn't help his feeling that this match just wasn't going to be pleasant.

/RYOUGA HIBIKI VS. MUU!/

Ryouga just boggled at the hulk. "Muu?"

Muu replied in an odd, slow sort of animalistic "Muu" of his own.

This, thought Ryouga, was not good. From the stands,  
Ukyou cheered him on, which, in Murphy's Law, was sure to mean he was going to make an utter fool of himself. He really hoped this match would be much less... embarrassing than his previous ones.

This was embarrassing.

"Hadouken!"

Ranma ducked as another blast of ki flew past. A small strand of hair smoked, singed by it.

Akane always told him this would get him in trouble one day. He just didn't think it would happen. She sighed and shook her head as she watched the match continue.

"Sempuukyaku!" Sakura spun in the air, leg extended, and struck at Ranma multiple times. He blocked easily, but still felt the power behind those kicks.

He _really_ was reluctant to hit her.

There was an unexpected pause in the match. Ranma blinked, frozen in a defensive stance as Sakura stood there,  
frowning, her arms crossed and foot tapping the ground.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" she demanded to know.

"Huh?"

"You're not attacking! We're," she looked at a nearby clock, "THREE MINUTES into the fight and you haven't thrown ONE punch at me! What's the deal?"

Somewhere in the crowd, Akane was burying her face in her hands.

"I... I don't like to hit girls, okay?" he answered,  
irritated.

"Well that's a chauvinistic viewpoint, you jerk."

The crowd 'ooh'ed. Personal insults. This was good.

"You're probably not man enough to take me on anyway!" Sakura taunted.

"What?! Why you..."

She stuck her tongue out and taunted. "Nyaaaaaah!"

Right. That was it. He knew of an alternative to winning, a Anything Goes Pressure Hold Knockdown technique. It was designed to knock out an opponent using pressure points.

There was a big drawback.

It was created by Happosai.

Needless to say, the points to be pressed were going to make him look like a real pervert.

But hey, he figured, he was already looking like a real jerk, and his reputation was damaged anyway from the Hinako incident.

"Ah, what the hell."

*GLOMP*

"EEEEEK!"

/IN FIFTEEN POINT THREE SECONDS, RYO MUHOSHIN!/

The crowd stared in disbelief.

Magical Girl Kuruma remained still on the ground, her face planted in the dirt.

Ryo Muhoshin gave a slight bow to the audience, still grinning, and walked away as arrogantly as he'd arrived.

-THWAP-

"Muu."

-THWAP-THWAP-THWAP-

"Muu?"

"DAMMIT! FALL DOWN ALREADY! HYAH!"

-THWAP-

"Muu."

Ryouga retreated a safe distance, getting his breath back back, and stared at the monolithic Muu. It was aggravating that Muu didn't seem to be affected at all, but it was baffling that Muu had gotten this far in the tournament. After all, he was spectacularly slow.

He looked, briefly, into the stands. It seemed Ukyou was yelling something. Ryouga strained to listen through the roar of the crowds what Ukyou was trying to say.

Finally, he heard.

No... that couldn't be right, could it?

Ryouga looked at the massive Muu one more time, and thought it over. Muu, and the plan, were both just stupid enough to work.

Ryouga walked up to Muu solemnly and held his fist out. Muu looked confused for a moment, then a spark of recognition hit him. He held his fist out in a likewise manner.

The crowd held its breath.

"JAN-KEN-POW!"

Ryouga had a rock. Muu had scissors.

/WINNER: RYOUGA HIBIKI!/

The crowed nearly facefaulted.

"Wow," said Ukyou, "it really worked."

-INTERMISSION-

Once again, at King's Cafe...

"So, what's with the big slap mark on the face, Ranchan?"

Akane gave Ranma a slight glare as he winced. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Hey hey, here's the man that beat last year's champion!" cheered Hiroshi as he and Daisuke made their way to the table. "Congratulations, man! And may I say you did it in fine style!"

"That he did," said Nabiki wryly as she joined them.

"Shut up, you guys!" snarled Ranma.

Akane whapped him on the back of the head. "Pervert!"

"Hey! What'd ya do that for?!"

"For being a jerk, that's what!"

"Hey, I don't hit girls!"

"Wait... so if he didn't hit girls," asked Ukyou, "how'd he win."

"I don't wanna ta-"

"I'll tell ya!" said Daisuke. "Pressure points!"

Ukyou and Ryouga gave blank stares. Akane continued to glare at Ranma, who was at this point looking terribly embarrassed.

"Pressure points?" asked Ryouga.

"What's so bad about..." asked Ukyou, thinking it over. "Oh. The pressure points... exactly where were they?"

Ranma grumbled.

"Didn't hear ya, Ranchan," said Ukyou. "What was that?"

"He won't tell you," said Nabiki, pulling out a camcorder. "But you can see for yourself here."

"Oh hey, thanks."

Ranma's eyes widened and he lunged for the camera. "Give me that!"

-CLANG-

_thud_

"Just hit play, Ukyou. It's already at the good bit."

Ukyou put her spatula away then looked into the eyepiece of the camera and hit the play button.

Her eye widened and she blushed.

"Oh my."

Ryouga nudged Ukyou. "Hey, lemme see." She rewound back a bit then handed him the camera. As he watched, his eyes grew wide.

"Jeez. He really is a pervert... oh, that explains the slap on the face... and down she goes."

"They got the results of this round on line yet?" asked Ukyou.

Nabiki opened her laptop. "Good question. Let me check."

-  
\- The King of Nerima Tournament -  
Day 3 Results

Saotome Ranma d. Kasugano, Sakura (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Happosai d. Monron (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Muhoshin Ryo d. Magical Girl Kuruma (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Copycat Ken d. Won Ton (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Hibiki Ryouga d. Muu (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Konjou Mariko d. Kaede (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Kumon Ryuu d. Shingo (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Rodumanu d. Yojojimbo (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

-more- -previous results- -main- -statistics- -odds-

-next round-

Nabiki blinked. "That's surprising. They have the next round lineup ready?"

Ukyou shrugged. "Hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

At this point, Ranma groaned as he made his way back to consciousness, but nobody noticed.

-  
\- The King of Nerima Tournament -  
Day 3 round 2 lineup

Saotome Ranma vs. Happosai [statistics] [insider]

Muhoshin Ryo vs. Copycat Ken [statistics] [insider]

Hibiki Ryouga vs. Mariko [statistics] [insider]

Kumon Ryuu vs. Yojojimbo [statistics] [insider]

-more- -previous results- -main- -statistics- -odds-

Ranma peered over Nabiki's shoulder and into the screen. "Aw man! Not the old freak!"

Nabiki was pleased. Everything was going according to plan so far. The people who were supposed to be winning were winning, and at the rate things were going, there was a great potential for an upset.

It seemed almost too well arranged, and according to some of her sources it _was_ well arranged.

Things were coming to a close soon. Now was the time to make sure certain variables were going to behave in the manner they should.

"Did you really have to be so violent today?" asked Akari, leaning on his shoulder.

Ryo gave a good imitation of a warm smile and patted Akari's arm. "It's part of being a martial artist. Didn't we have this discussion?"

"I know," said Akari, "but seeing you like that scares me."

Ryo hmmed for a moment, then shrugged and reached for his drink. He lifted it for a moment, then shook it slightly.

"I'll be right back, darling. Drink's empty."

He strolled over to the bar, twirling his umbrella, and took a seat. The bartender seemed to be busy with other customers at the moment. He hated waiting, but there seemed to be no other choice.

"Mr. Muhoshin, I presume?"

He turned around. "Nabiki Tendo, yes?"

She nodded and took a seat next to him.

"You know," said Nabiki, looking at the drink list, "I've heard there's someone behind the scenes fixing the arrangements on the fights."

"Is that so?" he replied cooly. "I wouldn't know."

"If it was true, then I'd be curious as to the motive," said Nabiki. "Like, say, money?"

Ryo stood perfectly still and silent.

"Or perhaps a personal vendetta..."

Ryo coughed.

"Against one of the fighters..."

Ryo blinked twice.

"And I wonder if... any of the fights were fixed?"

Ryo remained still. Nabiki smiled.

"Mm-hm. It certainly does seem that Ranma and Ryouga have had a tougher set of opponents than the rest of the field. Ranma especially."

Ryo scratched his chin.

"At the rate they're going, they might not have much left if they make it to the final round."

Ryo whistled innocently and looked off into the distance. Nabiki paused a moment, then shrugged. As long as none of the fights were going to be fixed (without her knowing about it), then she didn't have a problem with it.

"See you 'round, Muhoshin."

"Adieu."

\- Round Six -

[Furinkan High Soccer Field]

It was, to those in the know, a possibly great fight in the making. One was the founder of Anything Goes Martial Arts and an infamous man whose reputation was known from Japan to China and probably quite a bit beyond. He was quite possibly the most perverted old martial arts expert in Japan. He was the Master.

/FROM THE ANYTHING GOES SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS,  
HAPPOSSAI!/

"Hello, Ranma."

The other was the most promising student of Anything Goes Martial Arts, a student that had often fought the Master to a standstill. On the occasions in which he had triumphed over the Master, it was not due to his tremendous skill, but his master's terrible weakness to women's undergarments.

/ALSO FROM THE ANYTHING GOES SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS,  
RANMA SAOTOME!/

"Hey, old freak."

The Student really didn't like the Master.

/FIGHT!/

For a while, the two just looked at each other. Ranma examined Happosai warily, while the old man looked at Ranma with amusement. Any words they'd say at this point would be redundant. They'd fought that much and knew each other that well.

From those that knew them, a fierce and prolonged battle was expected. Ranma had other plans.

Suddenly, Ranma gasped and pointed behind Happosai. "What a babe!"

Ranma readied himself for the opening. Happosai twitched, but he otherwise didn't move. To everyone, this was a great shock. Happosai, the greatest pervert martial artist in the world, not even peeking?

"Heheh, it'll take more than that this time, boy. I've been training."

"Oh?" Suddenly, Ranma whipped out a bra.

Happosai just laughed.

"Why would I want that when I've got this?" he asked,  
pulling out a bra of his own. "Take a gander at this! Top quality all silk, with just the right amount of cushioning,  
AND the latest from from the spring line of Megami's Secret!"

The crowed 'ooh'ed and 'aah'ed in appreciation. Even Ranma was impressed.

"And the previous owner had a WONDERFUL body perfume!"

Somewhere out there, in the city, Kodachi shuddered.

"This baby'll give me enough energy to last for a month!"

It looked to Ranma like there was only one option left. Hit'em while they're talking. After that, he'd just have to work it out as it happened like he usually did.

"Why, with this bra I can take on th-ACK!" *WHAM*

The crowed cheered as Happosai was flung back from Ranma's lightning quick rushing punch. Ranma followed his initial attack with a flying kick, but Happosai dodged easily.

"So, that's the way it's gonna be, eh?" asked Happossai. "Happo-fire-burst!" The old master tossed out dozens of small bombs, far too many for Ranma to toss back at him. With nothing better to do, he dodged and ran. The audience covered their ears and closed their eyes as the explosions rocked the field of battle.

In the stands, Hiroshi and Daisuke 'tsk'ed.

"He went for the bombs this early?" Hiroshi crossed out something on a notepad. "I knew I shouldn't have bet on that."

Ryouga was at a disadvantage.

He didn't like to fight girls. The fact that he was fighting on her territory wasn't good either.

"Two four six eight! Who do you appreciate!"

The field of battle was the Seisyun Gakuen High Soccer Field. His opponent was their champion and heroine, known as...

"M - A - R - I - K - O! MARIKO!"

...Mariko Konjou, the champion martial arts cheerleader in the district. The crowd cheered wildly as Mariko emerged into view, leaping over the top of a human pyramid formation of cheerleaders, a blond, short-haired, overly happy looking girl

From what he'd heard, Mariko was fast, agile, and very tricky. Like fighting Kodachi, he thought, except without the fear factor.

She landed on the ground perfectly on both feet, then waved to the crowd with her pom-poms while jumping around. The crowd responded with more cheers.

The chant of "MA-RI-KO!" could be heard echoing through the field.

/MARIKO KONJOU VS. RYOUGA HIBIKI! FIGHT!/

Mariko opened the round with a volley of batons which Ryouga deflected by quickly opening his umbrella. He returned fire with a couple of tossed bandannas, but missed as the cheerleader easily dodged.

"BATON CRUSH!" yelled the cheerleader, whipping a baton outward. With lightning speed, it extended ten feet and nailed Ryouga on the jaw. It was a strong enough hit to send him staggering back a few steps.

Needless to say, the crowd went wild.

"Aaaaaagh!" -THUD-

"Try again, boy!" cackled Happosai. He was feeling good at the moment, with the match being even thus far but with a little momentum now going his way. The little momentum came in the form of two pipe throws in a row, both sending Ranma skidding face-first across the field.

Ranma charged again and Happosai easily hooked him with his pipe, heaving Ranma over his shoulder.

"Heh, aga-WHOOOOAAAA!"

This time, Ranma managed to hold on to the pipe, yanking Happosai upwards with him. In mid-air, they spun around trying to establish control. Ranma gained the upper hand and flung Happosai down to the ground, hard, then followed up with a diving double kick that had the audience 'oooooh'ing in appreciation.

The women in the audience cheered.

Ranma dusted off his hands with a smug grin on his face. "Heh, that was easy."

***BLAM***

With a wave of her hand, Mariko yelled "Ai no Toriko Kumo no Ito Flying Tape!" and sent a rain of tape threads Ryouga's way. He blocked with his umbrella, only to have it yanked away as Mariko pulled back on the tape.

Ryouga was taken by surprise by the loss of his weapon,  
leaving him open as Mariko took advantage and tagged him hard with two quick baton crush strikes. Ryouga staggered back a moment, then rushed forward with several kicks and punches which Mariko seemed to easily dance around before she flipped safely away again.

In an amazing demonstration of tactical thinking which he would have lacked several years ago, Ryouga noted that her agility was definitely a problem.

He wondered if she'd be so agile on shaky ground.

"BAKUSAI-TEN-KETSU!" With all ten fingers he stabbed into the ground, setting off a chain reaction of explosions around him, until most of the battlefield was turned into uneven clumps of rock and dirt.

Mariko, taken by surprise from the force and range of the blast, stumbled and fell as the ground under her feet turned to rubble.

Ryouga grinned.

It was, the audience agreed, a grueling match. Master and Student clashed at lightning speeds on the ground and in the air. The match had more ki attacks than any previous one, making for an incredible fireworks display.

Hiroshi and Daisuke were ready. They had their shades on.

"MOKOU-TAKABISHA!" A burst of energy shot from Ranma's hands.

The crowed 'ooh'ed.

Happosai's battle aura flared and manifested itself into a forty foot tall image of the diminutive demon, taking the impact of the ki blast easily.

The crowed 'aah'ed.

Ranma and Happosai both took to the air, meeting at the peak of their jump with a flurry of punches and kicks. After an amazingly long moment of hangtime, one fell flat on his face to the ground. The other landed gracefully.

The crowd gasped.

Happosai smirked.

"Bwahaha! Had enough, boy?"

Ranma stood up slowly. He was also smiling, which also confused Happosai. Then the old man saw why.

In Ranma's hand was the top quality, all silk, cushioned,  
and latest in design bra from Megami's Secret.

Ranma grinned. "Heheh."

"Oh no! My precious!"

Happosai sprang forward desperately and recklessly,  
trying to regain the source of his power. Unfortunately for him, he also left himself wide open.

"TENSHIN-AMAGURIKEN!"

"Awk!"

Several hundred punches later...

/AND THE WINNER, RANMA SAOTOME!/

The crowd cheered, the women definitely louder than the men.

The audience was surprised at how the match between Ryo Muhoshin and Copycat Ken was progressing.

Ken and Ryo were both impressive in their victories, but Ryo was currently the leader in absolute domination with an average match time of a minute and twelve seconds. This match had gone well beyond ten minutes, and it wasn't because both fighters were battling to a standstill.

Ryo was, for the first time in the tournament, being trounced. The frequent change in tactics was clearly throwing him off his stride, and by the end of fifteen grueling minutes Ryo was a battered wreck on the floor while Copycat Ken only looked a slightly worn down.

To add insult to injury, he was currently imitatting Ryo.

"So, had enough?" asked Ryo/Ken.

Ryo got up on one knee, looking very unsteady, and glared at his imitattor with narrow eyes.

"Now to finish you off," said Ryo/Ken, pacing around Ryo steadily. "Maybe... with speed?" he asked, suddenly morphing into Ranma. "Maybe I'll cut you to pieces," he pondered, turning into Mousse, blades dangling from his sleeves. "Nah, I'll just do it the old fashioned way." Ken morphed into Ryouga and cracked his knuckles. "I'll beat the crap outta... huh?"

Suddenly, Ryo was looking very angry. And the dark fiery aura around him was somewhat disturbing too.

He had to admit it. He was feeling guilty.

/AND THE WINNER.../

Ryouga never did like hitting girls, and this match made him feel like he'd been dishonorable. The boos and jeers from the crowd certainly didn't help.

/RYOUGA HIBIKI!/

He sighed and looked at Mariko, who just beginning to get back on her feet. Guilt being the wonderful motivator that it is, it motivated him to help her to her feet.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

Mariko looked up at the boy who had beaten him. Was that genuine concern she heard in his voice? Was that worry she saw in his eyes? Did he care? She blushed slightly. He was really worried about her.

She wondered how it'd feel to be in his arms.

"I..." she managed to say, then closed her eyes. Mariko fell into his arms. Ryouga looked panic-stricken. Somewhere out there, he knew Ukyou was watching.

"YOU CASANOVA!"

Yes, she was definitely watching.

What to now? He couldn't leave Mariko out here. He'd have to carry her off to the sidelines, at the very least.

Unseen by Ryouga, Mariko's lips formed a slight smile. It felt good to be in his arms.

Ryouga/Ken was slammed face first into the ground for the tenth time in a row. Ryo, surrounded by a flaming dark aura, pulled him up by the neck like a rag doll, then marched towards one of the nearby cameramen.

"Stay RIGHT there," he snarled. A second later, he smashed Ryouga/Ken's face into the camera.

/AND THE WINNER.../

"KIND OF OBVIOUS, ISN'T IT?! roared Ryo. He glared at Copycat Ken once more, then strode off the field seething with anger.

[4th floor, Furinkan High]

"Saotome's in, boss. Just like everyone expected."

Nabiki nodded.

Sayuri checked further on her notebook. "Also in are... Ryo and Ryouga. Still waiting on Ryuu vs. Yojojimbo."

"Any footage highlights of note?" asked Nabiki.

"The Ranma vs. Happosai match was a real light show," replied Yuka. "We're sure to sell lots of copies of those. Oh yeah, there's an interesting new rumor floating around..."

"You big womanizing pervert," sneered Ukyou.

"I didn't do anything!" protested Ryouga loudly, drawing looks from the other pedestrians as they walked down the street.

"Yeah, right. So what's that lipstick mark on your face,  
huh?"

Ryouga stopped. "Lipstick? What lipstick?"

She swung out her spatula and held the flat end out in front of Ryouga's face. He winced.

"Look in the reflection, idiot."

Ryouga blinked, looked up, then quickly tore off a bandanna and wiped off a lipstick mark on his cheek.

"I-it didn't mean anything!" he stuttered.

"Whatever. C'mon, the guys are waiting for us." She took him firmly by the hand and and started them moving through the crowds once more.

"The cafe again?"

Ukyou nodded.

A few minutes later, they made their way through King's cafe, where it seemed all of Nerima's martial artists were hanging out lately. Ranma, Akane, and quite a few others were seated at one of the long tables. Hiroshi and Daisuke were tallying their gambling hits and misses for the day. Sayuri and Yuka were there as well, accompanying the boys. Prince Toma and Ryuu Kumon were there as well.

"Hey guys!" greeted Ranma.

Everyone else gave them a wave, except Prince Toma and Ryuu Kumon. Both were in shock at the moment.

"I don't believe she left," murmured Prince Toma.

"Just like that," sighed Ryuu.

"Oh, cheer up! I'm sure you'll run into them again," said Akane. In reply, both Ryuu and Toma sighed and stared silently into their drinks.

"H-i-b-i-k-i-sama!"

Ryouga paled then dove under the table. "I'm not here!" he hissed.

A moment later, a somewhat bruised but happy Mariko Konjou pranced happily past, looking around. "Aw, I thought I saw him here!" She looked around once more, then bounded away to another part of the cafe.

Ukyou frowned and gave Ryouga a swift kick.

"OW!"

"She's gone now. Get up, jackass."

Ryouga cautiously rose back up to his seat. Ranma,  
meanwhile, was grinning. "So, what was that all about?"

"It wasn't my fault," he said firmly.

"Ryouga's picked up a new girlfriend," said Ukyou.

"Why that sly dog," said Ranma smugly. "Ryouga, I didn't think you had it in ya."

"Shut up, Ranma!"

Thus began another round of pointless Ranma-Ryouga squabbling. By this time, everyone had learned to tune it out like the background noise that it was.

"So, how'd your match go?" Sayuri asked Ryuu.

"Never thought a sumo guy could be so fast," said Ryuu. "Yojojimbo wasn't easy."

"Yeah, he's the current leading rebounder in the cafeteria," said Hiroshi, not looking away from his notepad.

"Er, what?"

"Cafeteria. Rebounding," added Daisuke, although he too was distracted with penciling in figures on his notepad.

Ryuu still looked confused. "Ah, right."

Daisuke looked up for a moment to stretch his neck, then his eyes locked on to the nearby television, currently on the King of Nerima Pay Per View channel. He tapped Ryouga on the shoulder, effectively derailing the Ranma/Ryouga squabbling.

"Hey, Ryouga. I think you oughta look on the tv man."

"IF YOU HADN'T- huh? What?"

"The television. You. Look."

Everyone at the table looked to the screen, where a bruised, beaten, and bloodied Ryouga was smashed face-first into the camera's point of view.

/...and that was the end of the Ryo Muhoshin/Copycat Ken battle.../

"Yow. That was surreal," said Ukyou.

In a park on Tokyo Bay, Ryo Muhoshin sat moodily on a bench, alone. The night sky was rather beautiful. The breeze was refreshing.

He didn't notice that. He was reading a note.

Muhoshin-san.

We regret to inform you that we've found employment elsewhere. Good luck on the Unryuu scam, though we really advise against it.

\- Oritatami &amp; Shoberu

-p.s. No hard feelings, right?

Ryo crushed the note in his fist and flung the paper away angrily. He stood up, took a deep breath, and walked away.

A moment later, Tanya Noori emerged from the shadows. She idly tossed around a crumpled note and grinned. The pursuit of a goal, she felt, was always easier when there wasn't competition around. If she played her cards right,  
things were going to become easier.

She read the note one more time and shook her head. By way of covert surveillance, she knew who the major players in Nerima were. Akari looked nice enough. Rotten bastard,  
victimizing a girl like that.

The people in 'Ranma's table' greeted Nabiki as she took her seat. "Hi guys, sorry I'm late."

"Did they list the next round matchups yet?" asked Akane.

"Not quite yet," said Nabiki. "It's down to Ranma,  
Ryouga, Ryuu Kumon, and Ryo Muhoshin. Though, if I was the one to arrange the fights, I'd make it Ranma vs. Ryuu and Ryouga vs. Ryo. Maximises the 'grudge match' quality."

"I dunno," said Yuka. "A Ryouga vs. Ryuu match would be kinda neat."

"Oh? Why?"

Yuka tilted her head towards Ryouga, then at Ryuu.

Everyone at the table took a look at Ryuu, with his sleeveless shirt, bandanna, and spotted leggings, then at Ryouga with his sleeveless shirt, spotted bandanna, and leggings. A few snickers followed.

"Hey, what's so funny?" asked Ryouga.

Ryuu shrugged.

Ryo looked at the roster list and frowned.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

There were only four fighters left: himself, Ryouga,  
Ranma, and Ryuu.

He could take Ryouga on now. But that wouldn't make for a proper climactic moment. No, his glorious battle against Ryouga MUST be the last match of the tournament.

Then what of the alternatives?

Ranma vs. Ryouga?

No, certainly not. From what he'd heard, Ranma knew Ryouga too well. He would surely win that match, and thus deny Ryo the glorious ending he deserved.

Decisions, decisions...

-end part 3?-  



	20. Kings Reversed

\- - English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

=========================== The Pursuit of Happiness ACT 2 The Kings of Nerima Part 4 Kings Reversed ===========================

"So, let's review," said Ryo.

Kyoko gulped down the last of her 31 flavor ice cream bowl and rubbed her chin in thought. She began to speak in a tone sounding far too intelligent to be coming from a 12 year old. "The Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts is anchored primarily in Kempo, but contains elements from other arts. Their belief is in the ability to adapt to any given situation."

"And what of Ranma Saotome?" asked Ryo.

"He's very fast. At his top speed, you can't possibly match it. He relies heavily on his speed and his ability to adapt to an opponent's strategy. He finds patterns and will take advantage."

"Any habits of his?" asked Ryo.

"He usually waits for the opponent to make the first move unless it's someone he knows."

"Mm-hm."

"And never challenge him in the air. His skill in air to air combat is high."

"I see. And if I allow you to train under their dojo,  
how long until you achieve Ranma's level of ability?"

"Two years."

Ryo grinned. It was convenient having a little sister who was something of an idiot savant.

"How may I defeat him?"

"Be as unpredictable as you can. Catch him off guard with switching patterns. Your strength is superior. Trading hits is to your advantage. Don't start the match as the aggressor. He's used to beginning a fight on defense,  
and the change will make him uneasy."

"Anything else?"

Kyoko nodded. "Use umbrella #3."

"Right."

Kyoko looked at him, frowning. After a minute of being stared at, Ryo gave her a sideward glare. "What now?"

"I want ice cream! More icecream! Moremoremore!"

"Well... fine. Since you did your report well."

"Waiwaiwai!"

[Fourth floor, Furinkan High School. 4:30 p.m.]

"You sure they aren't related?" asked Yuka.

Nabiki looked from one photograph to another and smirked. "The resemblance is close, isn't it?"

"Sure is," replied Yuka. "Hiroshi and Daisuke are going with Ryouga on this one."

"Odds?" asked Nabiki.

"They didn't say."

"Hrm. I'll give Ryouga 3:2 odds. Ryuu's good, but he's had to change his fighting style from the ground up recently. How about the Saotome/Muhoshin fight?"

"They're picking Ranma with high confidence," said Yuka. "A no-brainer, in their books."

"Ranma, 7:4 odds."

"That close?" asked Sayuri.

"Well, Ranma _has_ had the roughest going through all the rounds, while Muhoshin's breezed through his. He still holds the top spot for quickest victory in a match and fastest average time. It'll be a good match."

"We hyping the Hibiki/Kumon matchup in any way?" asked Sayuri. "Any catchy phrases?"

"Hrmm, I dunno." Nabiki continued looking from one photo to the other, the threads of a plan dangling just out of her reach.

"Almost related... related... like... brothers?" She stood up and paced around slowly, deep in thought. "Brother against brother... hrm... it's got a... whatisit... a..."

"John Woo-esque?" suggested Yuka.

Nabiki snapped her fingers. "That's it. Woo-esque feel to it. Yeah."

"Too bad they aren't related, huh?" asked Yuka.

Sayuri nodded. "Yeah, too bad."

Nabiki grinned. "Well, you know that, and I know that,  
but..."

\- Round 7 Start -

[Furinkan High Soccer Field, a little later...]

Ryuu Kumon was confused, Ryouga moreso.

"Do you have _any_ idea why everyone here thinks we're brothers?" asked Ryouga.

"No idea," said Ryuu.

"I guess I could ask..."

"Hm?"

"No, never mind."

Ryouga knew that Nabiki or her employees might know, but then again he didn't have that much money.

"You ready?" asked Ryuu.

Ryouga nodded solemnly.

/RYUU KUMON VS. RYOUGA HIBIKI!/

The crowd cheered. A few of them looked a bit touched. More of them were looking annoyed.

"For a fight between two long lost brothers, they sure are cool about it," someone grumbled.

/FIGHT!/

Ranma had finally met an arrogance larger than his own,  
and it looked like Hikaru Gosunkugi.

In the field of battle, this case being the St. Hebereke soccer field, Ranma casually stretched and paced around.

His opponent, on the other hand, had a mat laid out on the ground, was sitting under the shade of his opened umbrella, sipping tea and reading the newspaper. He'd been like that for several minutes, and was already seated when Ranma had arrived.

/FROM THE UNORTHODOX WEAPONRY SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS,  
RYO MUHOSHIN!/

Ryo blinked, looked around, folded up his newspaper,  
closed his umbrella, rolled up his mat and tossed it to the sidelines, then stood up casually. There was some amount of applause, cheering from Akari, and a smattering of boos from the fans of Magical Girl Kuruma and Ukyou.

He yawned yet again, stretched, then adjusted the black gloves on his hands.

/FROM THE SAOTOME SCHOOL OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS,  
RANMA SAOTOME!/

The audience roared their approval, inflating Ranma's ego further. He was, in everyone's eyes, the eventual champion.

Ryo gave Ranma a look of utter contempt, a high and mighty look that only Tatewaki Kuno could match in terms of haughtiness.

"Your Anything Goes is very good," said Ryo, "But it is no match for my 44 Devils Umbrella Style."

Ranma sneered and wiped his nose in a manner reminiscent to Bruce Lee. "Dream on. I'll kick your butt any day of the week."

/FIGHT!/

Ranma assumed a fighting stance. Ryo crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently.

Neither fighter attacked.

Ryo began twirling his umbrella idly.

Ranma approached, still in a fighting stance, cautiously and slowly. He didn't like this at all. Intending to prod Ryo out of inactivity, he jabbed tenatively.

He had to pull his arm back quickly and retreat as a sudden blizzard of slashes came his way. He sprang back,  
ready for a charge from Ryo...

... who was idly twirling his umbrella once more and whistling.

This he wasn't used to. In most of his fights, he wasn't the aggressor. This was getting irritating.

Ryo looked at his watch and tsked. "So much for keeping it under a minute." He gave Ranma an irritated glance. "Any day now."

Ranma frowned and took a few steps sideways, then rushed forward with a punch. Ryo ducked under it and slashed at Ranma's stomach, but missed as he flipped over Ryo and turned, intending to spin around with a kick. He saw Ryo's blade stab deliberately into the ground a moment before he was to kick and sprang back instead as Ryo set off a breaking point, sending debris flying everywhere.

Ryo turned around, looking as arrogant as he did at the start of the match. He brushed off his suit jacket, then motioned for Ranma to approach.

"Again."

He was being mocked. He hated being mocked. Ranma charged forward and began throwing punches, yelling "KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!"

He felt ten, twenty, fifty punches hit their mark in a matter of seconds. Ryo staggered back slightly, then surprised Ranma when he grabbed him by the neck and slammed Ranma head-first into the ground.

He was dazed, but still had enough presence of mind to lash out with his feet and knock Ryo off and away.

Both combatants quickly got to their feet and faced each other again. There was a bit of blood on Ryo's lip. Ranma's head was still spinning a bit.

The strategic part of Ranma's mind was re-adjusting to the situation. It looked like the chestnut fist was out. Sure there were lots of hits, but he needed more power behind his strikes and he knew he could out-speed Ryo even without it.

He took a quick half-second to evaluate Ryo's state. Muhoshin was a bit rattled by the kick, but seemed otherwise fine. Definitely surprising endurance. Ryo also seemed a bit irritated. Ranma knew from earlier matches in the tournament that Ryo was very much the aggressive fighter.  
Holding back was obviously annoying him.

Well then, it was just a matter of willpower.

Ranma waited.

Ryo waited.

The crowd waited.

The battle between Ryouga and Ryuu was at a frenzied pace, with both sending slashing kicks and powerful punches at each other.

At first, the match seemed fairly even, with both opponents being skilled enough to dodge each other and stay on the offense. With each passing second, however, Ryuu's hands seemed to glow slightly brighter. When they finally reached an intense fiery yellow, he yelled out a battle cry and lashed out with blinding speed, slipping through Ryouga's defenses and landing a pair of solid burning palm strikes at his chest and stomach, causing Ryouga to double over in pain and crumple to the floor.

Ryuu grinned. The Kumon School of Martial Arts Secret Technique, the "Dragon Fire Palm", took a lot of work to master, but he'd done it. Those punches were powerful enough to bring anyone to their knees.

And then Ryouga poked the ground with his fingers.

It wasn't so much a breaking point blast as it was a breaking point _wave_.

Ryuu was caught entirely by surprise as the ground shook and shattered, rolling back and pushing him with it like a tidal wave.

After being pushed and pummeled by the shockwave of exploding earth, Ryuu quickly rolled up to his feet. He was dazed, bruised, and reeling. He trained himself hard to spring back from hard hits, which was the only reason why he was able to block the oncoming barrage of punches Ryouga sent.

The first few of them, anyway.

A badly timed block allowed one of Ryouga's strikes to break through, and it went downhill quickly for Ryuu from there. He crumpled from the blow and left himself open as punch after punch found their mark.

Dazed, damaged, and near defeat, Ryuu grew desperate. He pulled his arms back and whipped them around in a cutting arc, battle aura trailing his arms.

"KIJIN RAISHU DAN!"

Flaming ki projectiles crashed into Ryouga and sent him flying across the field.

The crowd roared with excitement. It seemed things were turning around in a dramatic fashion.

Ryuu stood up straight. Then he looked down at the ground and scowled. With a sigh, he walked away from the field of battle and muttered to the announcer:

"I forfeit."

The waiting paid off.

Ryo ran out of patience and charged, slashing at Ranma in elaborate and unpredictable patterns, forcing him to retreat. But with every few steps back, he found an opening and connected with a solid hit.

As the punch connected, he knew something was wrong. Ryo winced in pain, but easily grabbed him by the arm. It was all too clear too late. He let himself get hit so he could take away the one big advantage Ranma had: mobility.

With his other arm, Ranma began pummeling away at Ryo with hundreds of punches. Ryo grunted, but didn't let go and instead gave Ranma's arm a hard twist. Ranma flipped with the arm twist, lashing out with a kick as he spun around that connected with Ryo's jaw. It snapped his head back, but still wasn't enough to get Ryo to release his grip. Instead, much to Ranma's surprise, he quickly let go of the umbrella and caught the leg that hit him before Ranma could pull it away. Then with arm and leg held, he slung Ranma overhead and into the ground.

A positive and negative came out of this. The positive was that in the process of slamming him overhead, Ryo lost his grip on Ranma's arm. The negative was that Ryo now had an iron grip on his leg, which is how Ranma got slung overhead and into the ground yet again, landing face first into the earth.

He felt himself dragged a bit, then looked to see Ryo bending down to grab his dropped umbrella. He took advantage of Ryo's inattention and sprang up to give him a solid boot to the head. He felt Ryo finally let go of his leg, and then a flash of pain as Ryo's blade raked across it. Ranma ignored the pain, seeing an opening in that Ryo had overcommitted himself to the slash, and lashed out again with another kick to the head that knocked Ryo flat on his back.

Ranma took some measure of satisfaction in seeing Ryo definitely worn down, looking shaky as he stood up. Then again, he wasn't feeling so great himself.

Things weren't going as well as he wanted at all. The match was taking too much out of him. No matter who he faced in the final round, he couldn't afford to be any more worn down than this.

Slowly, Ranma began retreating from Ryo in a circular pattern, dodging and blocking umbrella swipes as he backed away.

And then he did something that made the whole crowd gasp.

With all the speed of the chestnut fist, he slapped Ryo.

In the face.

Several times.

In front of everyone.

The crowd gasped.

Ryo staggered back for a moment, shock and outrage quickly twisting his face into a murderous scowl.

"DIE!"

Good, thought Ranma. Got'em mad. Hope the rest is as easy.

Alone with his thoughts atop Furinkan High, Ryuu Kumon was upset. He hated himself for slipping up like he did. He hated it that Natsumi wasn't around.

And he hated Ranma for making him give that stupid promise.

In that moment of panic when Ryouga had suddenly gained the upper hand, he'd used a move from the Yamasen-ken, a 'forbidden' technique created by Genma Saotome.

A while back, after losing in a duel with Ranma, he'd promised on his honor never to use that technique again.

And he blew it.

"Dammit."

He sighed, grabbed his backpack, and made his way to the stairs. Nothing left to do but do the 'wandering warrior'  
thing again. There was more training to be done, until the day he could fight on his own without even thinking of using the Yamasen-ken.

And maybe he'd run into Natsumi out there.

That peculiar battle aura that Ranma'd seen around Kuno was beginning to flare up around Ryo. His strikes were coming in faster, and Ranma could feel the heat from his ki.

Almost there. Just a little warmer and Ryo'd be hot enough to send to the moon when the Hiryuu Shoten Ha hit him.

And then Ryo did something Ranma didn't expect. He stabbed his umbrella into the ground and set off a breaking point, sending debris flying at Ranma's face.

Ranma dodged the initial blast, but got caught by the next two and raised his arms up in defense. Through the storm of debris he sensed movement and dodged as Ryo charged through with an umbrella swipe. Ranma grabbed it, intending to disarm Ryo, but as he pulled at the umbrella, Ryo's hand brushed over Ranma's.

Then his fingernails exploded.

Ranma yelled in pain and let go, springing back a safe distance while Ryo struck an arrogant pose, umbrella slung across his shoulders.

"And I do bones, too," said Ryo dryly. The blade of his umbrella withdrew with a *ching* and a rapier-like tip replaced it.

"He say anything to you about it?" asked Ukyou, leading Ryouga through sidewalks and streets.

He shrugged. "No, he just quit."

"That's weird."

"You feeling okay? Looked like he got a few solid hits on you."

"Didn't feel a thing," said Ryouga.

"He hit ya riiiight here, right?" -poke-

"OW! What'd you do that for?!"

Ukyou mock-frowned. "Thought ya said you didn't feel a thing?"

"Okay, maybe it did hurt."

She smirked. "Much better. Everyone could use a little modesty."

The two walked along in silence for a while. Every now and then Ukyou looked back to make sure Ryouga didn't wander off. For once, he didn't. He was actually looking a little grim.

"You're awfully quiet. Something on your mind, sugar?" asked Ukyou.

"It's down to me and Ranma. Again."

"You think he beat Muhoshin?"

"What do you think?"

They walked again in silence for a few seconds more.

"You're right," said Ukyou. "He probably did win." They walked further on before Ukyou spoke again. "So, you and him again."

Ryouga nodded grimly.

Ukyou smirked. "From bread feud to to battle royale."

"Hey! It was more than that!" he replied defensively.

She couldn't help but giggle. "Just kidding, just kidding!"

Ukyou's giggles eventually trailed off, and once more they were walking across the town in silence.

"Just this once, I want to win. Ever since we met, it's always been him. Just once. Just..."

Ukyou noticed the hint of bitterness in his voice. She stopped walking for a moment and faced him.

"Ryouga?"

"Yeah?"

She looked him in the eye, and when she spoke he believed every word.

"I believe in you."

"Y-you do?"

She smiled, that little smile that he always liked to see. "Definitely."

She turned around to start walking, then paused and faced him again, that same grin still on her face. "Hey, every dog has his day, right?"

"Hey you!"

She stuck out her tongue, gave the standard "biiiih!",  
then ran away, with Ryouga giving chase, both laughing all the way.

"HIRYUU SHOTEN HA!"

Ryo was nearly blinded by the flash of light and deafened by the sudden roar that accompanied Ranma's attack, a massive column of ki that struck him like a freight train and sent him flying high into the sky.

He was fading into unconsciousness...

NO.

He was not going to lose.

NOT AGAIN.

"Pass the binoculars, man," asked Hiroshi.

"Here ya go."

Hiroshi and Daisuke were generally pleased with the way things were going. The match was dramatic, flashy, and very entertaining. There was also no indication that Ranma would lose this one.

"One of his better Hiryuu Shoten Ha blasts, don'cha think?" asked Hiroshi.

"Muhoshin must've been really flaming hot to get himself knocked up that high," said Daisuke.

"Oh yeah, way up there," said Hiroshi, continuing to watch Ryo's upward flight into the air. "Oh, hey, waitasec,  
something interesting happening here."

"Oh?"

"Looks like Ryo's not out for the count. Yep, he's opening his umbrella... he's floating down... whoa, does he look pissed off. One heck of a battle aura, too."

"Hey, lemme see," said Daisuke, grabbing the binoculars. "Hrm, he's revving up for a ki-blast."

"Don't think Ranma notices," said Hiroshi. "Mmm, nope,  
he doesn't notice."

"Look up you moron!" yelled Daisuke.

The crowd was cheering now, dazzled at the display of energy the Hiryuu Shoten Ha made, knowing that the predestined champion had once again triumphed in spectacular fashion.

Ranma was still in post-Hiryuu-Shoten-Ha position, fist held high in the air and face looking downward. The wind around him was only now beginning to calm down.

Something wasn't quite right.

Ryo should have landed by now.

Someone in the audience yelled something.

Amidst the cheer of the crowds, somehow, he managed to hear it.

"Look up, you moron!"

Look up?

Ranma looked up, then raised his arms up in defense as a storm of boomerang-shaped ki blasts rained down from above.  
The ground shook the air was choked with debris and dust as the blasts razed the ground in a twenty meter radius around Ranma.

The crowd gasped.

A second after the storm stopped, Ryo Muhoshin plummeted from the sky, roaring, umbrella raised over his head and held ready as he dropped into the cloudy, smoke-filled battlefield.

Daisuke whistled.

"Damn, now that was impressive," said Hiroshi.

"Did Ranma get out of the way in time?" asked Daisuke.

"He got caught when they first hit," said Hiroshi. "Dunno if he managed to dodge his way out or not. Damn, I wish the debris would settle down already. I can't see a thing!"

In one of those moments of perfect dramatic timing that could only happen in Nerima, a gust of wind happened to blow just then, clearing the field and revealing the two ragged gladiators.

"Whoa," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke whistled in admiration yet again. "Dramatic or what?"

A wave of silenced washed over the crowd as the two fighters stood still amidst the now ruined battlefield.

Ranma, while looking bruised, battered, and burned, still stood tall and ready. There was confidence in his eyes and determination in his face.

"Surprised he's still standing," said Hiroshi.

"S'his second wind," said Daisuke. "You know how he always gets a second wind when he fights."

"Oh yeah."

Ryo stood, about twenty meters away from Ranma, in a sort of crouching stance. He looked as worn as Ranma, with one exception. Instead of confidence, there was rage. He was clearly mad, beyond mad, with a snarl on his lips and his aura still flaring. He was breathing deeply, but it wasn't clear if it was because he was tired or enraged.

"Ki-blast like that usually takes a lot out of a person,  
doesn't it?" asked Daisuke.

"Mm-hm. Figure that was Ryo's desperation move," said Hiroshi. "I'd guess he doesn't have much left."

Ryo began spinning his umbrella, which began burning brightly with ki.

"Then again, maybe not," muttered Hiroshi.

He charged forward, slinging ki blasts as he ran. Ranma charged towards Ryo at the same time, dodging ki blasts with inhuman speed, his fist pulled back and ready to strike.

The two met at the middle in a fury of slashes and punches. Ranma ducked and weaved while Ryo slashed about madly, the missed swings tearing up up the ground. Ranma landed a punch after every slash, but it didn't seem to faze Ryo at all, continuing his non-stop frenzy of slashes.

Ryo swiveled his grip on the umbrella and caught Ranma's ankle with the hooked handle, sending Ranma falling backwards. As he fell, Ryo switched his grip again and brought the bladed end down at Ranma.

Ranma twisted out of the way of the downward slash,  
landing in a handstand. He shot out with both feet,  
connecting solidly to Ryo's chin. Muhoshin was momentarily knocked off his feet, then landed flat on his back. Meanwhile, Ranma sprang up from his handstand and watched Ryo warily. Now he was breathing heavily too.

"Hrm, Ranma's looking worn out," said Hiroshi.

"Adrenaline rush musta worn off," said Daisuke.

"Think Ryo's out?" asked Hiroshi.

Suddenly, Ryo sprang up and lashed out at Ranma, who narrowly avoided the lunging stab. Ranma spun around while dodging sideways and shot his leg out in a descending angled axe kick, catching Ryo at the base of the skull. At the same time, he reached out with his arm and pulled the umbrella out of Ryo's hand.

"Oh, that's gotta hurt," said Hiroshi.

"Okay, if he's not down yet," said Daisuke, "the guy's a mutant."

Muhoshin landed face-first into the ground, disarmed and dazed again. He was dimly aware that he no longer had his umbrella.

Damn. Oh well. Had to make do.

He loosened his tie and began to count down.

Five... Four... Three...

Ranma stepped back from Ryo, umbrella in hand, and lifted it over his head as he was about to break it in half over his knee.

Then it exploded with a loud bang and a flash of light,  
deafening and blinding Ranma. Moments after the explosion,  
he felt something snap around his neck tightly, cutting off his air.

"Talk about a killer necktie," said Hiroshi.

"Man, this is a turnabout of momentum," added Daisuke.

Out in the battlefield, Ryo was behind Ranma, his necktie lashed around Ranma's neck, strangling him.

"Ryo's looking more desperate," said Hiroshi.

Ranma yelled in pain as Ryo drove his knee into Ranma's backside repeatedly. Hiroshi and Daisuke winced in sympathy.

"Oh, he's gonna be feeling that for a while," said Hiroshi.

"If Ranma can break out of the stranglehold, I think he's got it. But he'd better get out of it soon..."

Ranma twisted and turned, finally managing to flip Ryo over his back and onto the floor again.

"Got'em," said Hiroshi.

"Man, Ranma's getting his _third_ wind? That's good,  
even for him," said Daisuke.

Immediately on hitting the ground, Ryo rolled aside,  
dodging an axe kick from Ranma. Quicker than the eye could follow, he had his belt off and was lashing it out at Ranma like a whip.

"Damn, Ryo's still going too," said Hiroshi.

"You don't think Ranma might lose this one, do ya?" asked Daisuke.

Ranma caught the belt and yanked it out of Ryo's hands.

"What's he gonna do next?" asked Daisuke. "Thrash Ranma with his shoelaces?"

"Could be worse. He could flail Ranma with his underwear," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke shuddered. "Oogh. A naked, fighting, Gosunkugi lookalike. Bad mental image. Baaad, baaad mental image."

Meanwhile, back at the field, it was becoming apparent that Ryo was finally running out of steam and options. With no weaponry left, Ryo resorted to his Muy Thai skills. Summoning the last of his ki, Ryo powered up his gloves and shoes, lighting them in an eerie purple and blue glow.

It wasn't that they weren't good skills, it was just that he developed them to complement his umbrella skills. Without an umbrella, it just wasn't as effective.

Ryo kicked and punched, but just didn't have enough energy to be fast enough to tag Ranma, who was blocking or dodging all of his shots.

Ranma would have dodged all of them, but he wasn't exactly feeling fresh either. The times he did block, he felt the same strange sting that he felt when Kuno hit him,  
a sort of cold yet burning sensation. He pushed that annoyance to the back of his mind and began delivering shots of his own, each one finally seeming to drain Ryo of his stamina.

Ranma knew he had the match. It was undeniable. He felt confidence swell up in him, and focused that confidence into power that flared in his arms.

"MOUKOU TAKABISHA!"

A sphere of energy blazed from Ranma's hands, engulfing Ryo and nearly blinding the audience.

Daisuke smiled. "Okay, right, stick a fork in it, this one's-"

"You're not gonna believe this," interrupted Hiroshi.

Burnt, smoking, but still there, Ryo Muhoshin stood defiantly with a snarl locked on his lips. Everyone,  
including Ranma, was stunned.

"Damn. He's still up," muttered. Daisuke.

Hiroshi whistled.

For a tense moment, both fighters stood still. Then Ranma blinked. He took one step forward, slowly, carefully,  
then another.

Then he waved a hand in front of Ryo's face.

And waved it again.

And again.

Ranma examined Ryo a moment more, then strode off the battlefield with a tired, weary grin.

He paused at the judge's table and said, "I got'em."

Meanwhile, back at the field, a few birds were taking roost atop Ryo's shoulders.

/AND THE WINNER-/

Ryo teetered forward for a moment, scaring off the birds and causing the audience to hold its breath...

-THUD-

/RANMA SAOTOME!/

The audience went wild. Hiroshi and Daisuke traded high-fives, Akane took Ranma into her arms, and Akari rushed to Ryo's side.

"Ryo? Ryo? Are you okay? Ryo-sama?"

In the distance, Ryouga and Ukyou heard the roar of a crowd cheering.

"Looks like we're late," said Ukyou.

"Oh?"

"That's definitely the sound of a crowd cheering after the end of a big fight."

"Oh."

"C'mon, before we miss the guys!" She took him by the hand and walked faster towards the St. Hebereke stadium.  
When they finally entered, they noticed several things.  
First, there was the crowd, which seemed largely pleased and well entertained. Then there was Akane, kneeling on the ground, who had Ranma's head resting on her lap and was busy applying bandages to Ranma's fingers. He seemed to be unconscious as well. Nearby, Hiroshi and Daisuke were looking rather pleased with themselves. Out in the field,  
Akari was tending to Ryo, who also seemed unconscious, and also singed.

"Hey guys," said Ukyou. "Hope we didn't miss too much."

"One heck of a fight," said Hiroshi.

"Nice one, Ranma," said Daisuke.

"Thanks, guys," muttered Ranma. "Piece of cake. No problem."

"Jeez, you look wiped out," said Ukyou.

"Y'should see the other guy," said Ranma weakly.

"What happened to your hand?" asked Ukyou.

"Ryo blew'em off," said Hiroshi. "Nasty technique, man. Hey Ranma, does it hurt as much as it looks?"

"Nah, no big *OW* watch it, you tomboy!"

Akane gave him a light bap to the head. "Stay still,  
stupid."

"You win yours, Ryouga?" asked Ranma.

"Yeah."

"So, s'you and me again."

Ryouga smirked. "Seems to be."

"Wouldn't seem right any other way."

"Guess it wouldn't."

"Although... I could really use some rest first," said Ranma.

"You're not the only one."

Meanwhile, Ukyou was watching Akari with a frown. She didn't like her fawning over Ryo like that, not at all.

"Oh Ryo..."

With a sigh and a frown, Akari wiped Ryo's brow with a cloth and gently stroked his cheek. She didn't like to see him fight. It brought out a side of him that she didn't want to see, a side that seemed to be what everyone else was warning him about.

Angry.

Violent.

Evil.

She didn't want to believe that. She didn't want it to be true. How could someone she chose to trust with her heart be bad? He'd always been kind and gentle to her, and so very respectful.

"Ryo-sama?" She gently nudged him once again, and still received no response. It was no use, she thought. He was out cold. There was no choice, then. She couldn't leave him out here, and she certainly couldn't carry him.

"Hey there."

"Oh! Ukyou-san!"

The okonomiyaki chef knelt down next to Akari. "So, how is he?"

"He won't wake up. I'm... I'm worried."

"I wouldn't be worried about him," said Ukyou. "He's a martial artist like the rest of us. He'll recover like the rest of us."

"But... but I just can't leave him out here on the floor."

"Oh. I see. Um... want me to ask the guys to carry him somewhere?"

"Oh, I couldn't ask that," said Akari. "I... wait, I know."

She whistled.

From nearby, her giant sumo pig emerged and trotted out into the field. With the help of Ukyou, Akari moved Ryo to the pig's back, then lead the creature and its passenger away.

Unnoticed by all and observing all, Tanya Noori and Konatsu the Kunoichi lurked at the very top of the stadium.

Lookit th'gel, she's far too bloody noice fer'at creep.

"Muhoshin-san looked really out of it," said Konatsu.

"Heheh."

"Poor Akari," said Konatsu. "She'll be heartbroken."

"For the best," said Tanya in her stiff Japanese.

"We're telling her tonight?"

"Yes, later. First we get allies."

Konatsu blinked. "Allies?"

Tanya pointed at the other group on the field, Ranma and his friends. "Allies."

Ryo awoke with a frown.

Something was clearly wrong.

He lost, which was clearly wrong. He'd done everything to make sure that Saotome was worn ragged through the tournament, and yet somehow he STILL managed to win.

Damn him.

This was supposed to be his time of glory, not Saotome's.  
It was all coming together perfectly! Ryouga and Ryo in the final battle, as he felt it ought to be.

That wasn't what was wrong at the moment, however.

He seemed to be... on his back... and moving... on something large, warm, and somewhat odd smelling.

"Nnng."

"Oh! Ryo-sama! You're awake!"

"I'm on the back of a pig."

"I-" she began nervously, but was cut off.

"Why am I tied to the back of a pig?"

"You wouldn't wake up and-"

"WHY am I tied to the BACK of a PIG?!" he snarled.

"I'msorry!" she blurted out, wincing.

Not only was he defeated, but he was dragged off the field by a GIRL and a PIG?! In front of EVERYONE?!

With a roar, he easily snapped the ropes binding him to the massive pig and landed on the ground.

"Do you have ANY IDEA HOW HUMILIATING-"

Akari reached out and held him by the arm. "Ryo-sama,  
wait, I-"

He whirled around and stared at her, his eyes inches away from hers.

"NOT. NOW."

After jerking his arm from out of her touch, he bound away into the night, ignoring Akari's cries entirely.

Almost entirely.

He spared one last glance at her, then sprang over rooftops and fences and into darkness.

If he couldn't win the King of Nerima tournament, he'd be damned if Ryouga did.

Within King's Cafe, a large amount of the spectators of the King of Nerima tournament, quite a few participants who'd already been defeated, and the two remaining contestants were taking the usual break between fights.

Ranma's head was flat on the table.

Ryouga was applying ice to a spot a bit above his abdomen.

Everyone else at the table, Akane, Ukyou, Natsumi,  
Kurumi, Hiroshi and Daisuke, were generally relaxing and chatting noisily.

Except Nabiki.

She was staring at the screen on her laptop, which was currently displaying a blank web browser.

"C'mon, c'mon, let's get this thing on the road," she mumbled. The browser finally came to life, and displayed:

-  
\- The King of Nerima Tournament -  
Day 4 Results

Hibiki Ryouga d. Kumon Ryuu (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

Saotome Ranma d. Muhoshin Ryo (recap) (statistics) (highlights)

-more- -previous results- -main- -statistics- -odds-

-next round-  
-

Nabiki, already knowing this information, found it utterly useless.

"Yeah yeah, -next round- already."

*CLICK*

-  
\- The King of Nerima Tournament -  
Day *5 Lineup

Hibiki Ryouga vs. Saotome Ranma [statistics] [insider]

-previous results- -main- -statistics- -odds-

"DAY FIVE?!" yelled Nabiki.

"N'so loud," grumbled Ranma.

"What 'Day Five'? There isn't supposed to be a 'Day Five'!" ranted Nabiki. "And what's with this asterisk?"

-click-

-  
Due to unforeseen circumstances, the final round of the tournament has been moved to the next day.

-The Management.  
-

"Unforeseen circumstances?" wondered Nabiki aloud.

"Hmm, this is interesting," said Hiroshi, peering at the monitor over Nabiki's left shoulder.

"Could be decisive," said Hiroshi, peering over Nabiki's right shoulder.

"What could?" asked Sayuri, peering over Nabiki's head with Yuka.

"The rescheduling thing," said Hiroshi. "Ranma may have less endurance than Ryouga, but he recovers pretty fast. By this time tomorrow, he's gonna be feeling a lot better."

"Yeah, no kidding," said Daisuke. "If they were gonna fight tonight, I'd put my money on Ryouga. But tomorrow? I dunno, that's a tough one to call."

Sayuri nodded. "Yeah, and that hit Ryouga took from Ryuu is still bugging him. Hibiki might be really hurt."

Yuka hmmed. "Gosh, should be a good even fight tomorrow."

Needless to say, Nabiki didn't care much for being buried under a small mountain of chatty people.

"QUIT CROWDING ME!"

In cafes, bars, and other eateries that double as social gathering locales, there has always been a group sense of telepathy of sorts, a defense mechanism remaining from the days of evolution when the highest form of life was a school of fish.

One fish gets uneasy, the rest know about it immediately.

Thus it was then, that the moment Akari Unryuu somberly stepped through the doors of King's cafe that everyone, for a moment, felt uneasy. A few of them looked at the girl who'd just made her entrance and wondered why she was looking so glum.

Tanya Noori and her assistant Konatsu eyed the girl with some interest and much sympathy.

"Time might be good now," said Noori. "See what she does first."

Ryoko Muhoshin, waitress at the cafe, was first to notice the glum heiress to a sumo pig dynasty and approached her.

"Akari? Hey, you okay?"

"I... it's Ryo... he..."

She sniffled.

"Can we sit down somewhere?" asked Akari, her eyes watering up slightly.

"Oh, hey, sure. C'mon." She lead the girl to a corner booth and handed her a handkerchief.

Meanwhile, nearby, the ladies of Ranma's table noticed the distraught girl's appearance and came over to see if they could help.

"Hey, Akari, what's going on?" asked Ukyou.

"You okay?" asked Sayuri.

Ryoko frowned. "That jerk, my brother, yelled at her."

Ukyou sighed. She saw this coming. "So where is he now?"

"I... I don't *sniffle* know," said Akari. "He just *sniffle* ran off."

"Oh Akari," said Ukyou. "You're better off without him,  
really."

"More than you know," said another voice, a stiff awkward one with a British accent which had everyone turning.

Tanya Noori stood behind them, with Konatsu at her side,  
holding out a piece of paper. "Read this."

"What's this?" asked Ukyou.

"Evidence," said Tanya. "Ryo is planning to kidnap Unryuu-san and demand money from her family."

Ukyou unfolded the note, then began reading it...

Until it burst into flames as a dark purple ki blast struck it and Ukyou's hands.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!"

The entire cafe heard that outburst this time, and turned to see Ryo Muhoshin at the door, still looking ragged from his fight, and armed with another umbrella.

Given his general viciousness before and what was happening at the moment, the entire cafe had a rather dim view of him.

And considering that at least half of the cafe was filled with martial artists, some of whom were eliminated savagely by Ryo in the past, there was bound to be violence.

The other martial artists were just grumpy that they got eliminated. Someone had to be the target for stress relief.

King, the lady who owned the place, peaked out from the backroom, sensing something amiss. Immediately upon seeing the scene, she uttered, "oh, shit."

Someone yelled.

Nobody was sure who, but someone yelled and it set off a messy chain of events.

What that someone yelled was this:

"GET HIM!"

The next ten seconds were incredibly action-packed, even for Nerima.

Ryo artfully dodged Kujo Masakari's blade, weaved past the the Stooge-Fu martial arts duo, stomped over Sentaro Daimonji's head, plowed over Magical Girl Kuruma, narrowly avoided Akane's punch, deflected Ukyou's spatula with his own umbrella, grabbed Akari around the waist, hefted her over his shoulder, and crashed through an open window.

"Oh hell, not good," said Ryoko.

"After him!" yelled Ukyou.

"Hey, Ranma, get up."

"Nng, don'bug me Ryouga."

"Damsel in distress. Martial artist duty."

"Damn, who took Akane this time?"

"Not Akane."

"Huh. Ukyou?"

"Nope. It's-"

"Kasumi? Nah. Nabiki, right?"

"Akari."

"Not Akane?"

"No. C'mon, let's go."

"I'm right behind *ow* ya."

Slowly, with much soreness, the last two martial artists left King's Cafe, onward towards fate.

"Ranma? Where'd you... Hey, where'd everyone go?"

Or at least in the general direction of fate.

"Where on Earth am I now?!"

Akari Unryuu didn't live the life of the usual Nerima martial artist. She was, aside from the pig fetish, a relatively normal girl.

She wasn't used to springing around at tremendous heights. She wasn't used to being hauled around by one arm.  
She wasn't used to leaping from building to building.

Of course, she screamed.

She clung on to Ryo in fright as he bound across countless rooftops through the dark, eyes shut tigh to avoid the vertigo that struck her every time Ryo took another gravity-defying leap.

It didn't help much that he was acting like a maniac.

"Ryo-sama! Please! Stop!"

As with all her pleas before, he ignored it, as he did the yells of Ukyou and the others giving chase in the distance. Akari could barely hear them now, and found herself very afraid to be left alone with Ryo.

The next landing she felt was a distinct _thud_, as Ryo finally landed on solid earth. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around.

Darkness was around them. A bridge overhead cast a shadow over them. The night sky wasn't much brighter, with not a star shining. She could hear the rush of water and barely see the flow of the aqueduct nearby.

"There, they shouldn't find us here," said Ryo, looking around warily. He grabbed her by the wrist and walked further into the darkness.

"Ryo-sama, you're hurting my arm! Ryo-sama, please!"

"Not so loud!" he hissed angrily.

"Tell me it's not true!" she cried. "You weren't going to kidnap me, right? You love me!"

Before she could say another word, he covered her mouth with his hand.

"Akari," he said in a deadly, angry, low voice, "shut up."

Her world collapsed, at that moment. There was nothing in Ryo's eyes, absolutely nothing, that resembled love. Not even a speck of caring.

Just anger.

He continued to pull her into the shadows, until they suddenly and unexpectedly bumped into somewhat.

"Excuse me, can you tell me whe-"

"YOU?!"

"What the?!"

Two battle auras flared immediately, lighting the area in eerie shades of Ryouga's green and Ryo's purple battle auras.

Ryo's grip on Akari's wrist tightened. He held her tightly and drew his umbrella upwards, blade extending with a *schnick* as he drew it up.

"Back off, Hibiki. You're not interfering this time."

Akari didn't like the blade, especially since it was so close to her face.

Ryouga didn't either.

"Hey! If you hurt her..."

"Ryo-sama, please!"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! GET BACK!" Ryo slashed wildly at Ryouga, causing Akari to shriek and Ryouga to take a quick step back. "You've gotten in the way before, Hibiki,  
but not this time. NOT THIS TIME!"

"Ryo-sama! Please! Don't hurt him!"

Ryo's glare went from Ryouga to Akari. "What?" he hissed. "What is this? Is this what's been going on?! WELL?!"

"R-ryo-sama! No!"

In the distance, the sound of an angry mob buzzed.

"I think I saw'em here!" echoed Ukyou's voice faintly from nearby.

Ryo's glare swiveled again, behind him, out into the night, then back at Ryouga. He shoved Akari aside roughly and charged at Ryouga in a berzerker rage.

"DIE!"

While Ryo and Ryouga began fighting, Akari stumbled in the dark. She lost her footing momentarily, then fell backwards into open air. With a shriek, she flailed desperately and managed to grab on to the edge.

The area lit by the battle aura of the two fighters, she was able to see what was below: rushing waters flowing through the aqueduct, and quite a bit of a drop down too.

"Ryo-sama! Help me! Help!"

Her cries went ignored, as Ryo continued to slash angrily at Ryouga. The two were, by then, a few meters down and continuing to go further away from her, with Ryo aggressively pushing Ryouga back.

"HELP ME!"

Again, her cry for help was ignored by Ryo. Ryouga, on the other hand, took a moment to look at her.

"Ryo, stop! She's gonna fall!"

"SHUT UP AND DIE!"

"I can't hold on much longer!" cried Akari.

"Akari!" Ryouga tried to run past past Ryo, delayed by a near-miss slash aimed at his eye.

Akari's grip faltered, then slipped. She screamed as she fell, but then suddenly was caught in someone's arms.

"Ryo...ga?" She was in his arms, or actually, in one arm. The other was holding on to the edge, barely.

"Hold on," said Ryouga. "Just- uh oh."

Akari looked up in time to see a blade right below Ryouga's neck. The blade was the one attached to the end of Ryo's umbrella.

"Give her back," said Ryo. "Now."

Ryouga looked at Ryo, then at the waters below. If he could push away quickly enough...

*POOF*

"AAARGH!"

The smell of dust and soot filled Akari's nose, making her cough violently. Above, Ryo was stumbling forward, the victim of Tanya Noori's soot bomb attack. He lurched forward again as another soot bomb struck him in the head,  
then plunged into the rushing waters below.

A moment later, Ryouga's grip finally slipped.

"Hold on!" yelled Ryouga.

They plunged down towards the waters again, and again she was caught in the air, her and Ryouga, as a rope of some sort suddenly wound around them.

"Hang in there, guys!" yelled Ryoko. Akari looked up and saw her, Ukyou, Tanya, and others pulling them up by the rope.

A normal girl could only take so much, really. This was the point where Akari's mind firmly believed fainting would be the best thing to do.

"Akari? Hey, you okay?"

A voice? Who's voice?

Ryo's?

No.

Ryouga's.

She opened her eyes slowly, blinking a lot. Ryouga was kneeling next to him, along with all her friends from school and work. They were still outside, in the night, but it wasn't so dark any more. A few stars were beginning to shine.

The memory of what had just happened came rushing to her in a train-wreck of conflicting and bitter emotions. She clung to Ryouga tightly and sobbed uncontrollably.

"W-why?" she managed.

Ryouga hadn't any idea what to say. He was never any good at comforting people. He suspected he was actually rather inept, which wasn't far away from the truth.

Basically, holding her until she was done crying seemed the only thing to do. He gave a somewhat embarrassed look to Ukyou, who looked a little confused herself.

Meanwhile, in the distance, Ryoko Muhoshin observed the scene before her with some relief, but also foreboding. She didn't like the way Akari looked in his arms, not at all.  
And by the way Ukyou looked, she wasn't entirely comfortable with it either.

What a tangled web weaved...

And nobody had lied yet either.

They were in for some interesting times.

-end part 4- 


	21. Ranma Saotome Can't Lose

\- - English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

=========================== The Pursuit of Happiness ACT 2 The Kings of Nerima Part 5 Ranma Saotome Can't Lose ===========================

[Furinkan High, lunch hour]

"Aaaagh, decisions decisions," lamented Hiroshi.

"Were this the usual string of events, it would be rather crystal clear," said Daisuke.

What the two were pondering was the outcome of today's much heralded match between Ranma and Ryouga. It was something everyone was looking forward to, even though Ranma was the overwhelming favorite. It was somewhat akin to why crowds watched the Harlem Globetrotters. Sure, they were going to win, but it was also a damn good show.

Unlike everyone else, Hiroshi and Daisuke had their doubts about the outcome.

"Ranma seems okay today, sorta," said Hiroshi. "The slash to his leg is bugging him a little and his fingers are still bandaged up."

"Ryouga's still bothered by that hit he got from Kumon," said Daisuke. "A little bit, but I can tell."

Hiroshi put his hands on his head and paced around. "Aaaagh, I dunno."

Suddenly, Daisuke stood up, fist clenched dramatically. "ALAS! I CANNOT DECIDE! I MUST BET ON THEM BOTH!"

Hiroshi blinked, then began snickering badly. Daisuke soon joined him.

"Good impression, man. Dead on, dead on!"

After a while, their laughter died down and they were back to pondering the same dilemma.

Hiroshi shrugged. "Oh well. When in doubt, bet on Ranma."

"Can't think of anything better."

The last two finalists in the King of Nerima were the center of attention during the busy lunchtime hour. All eyes were on Ranma and Ryouga as they made their way about the courtyard. They were a study in contrast.

Ranma was generally casual, loose, not any different than he was on any other day. He put in a rare appearance in the sandwich line and reminded everyone of why he had the reputation as the best martial artist in Nerima.

Ryouga, on the other hand, was a little more brooding than usual. He found himself a tree and lurked under the shade, eating a packed lunch quietly.

Keeping an eye on them both were the usual flock of girls: Ukyou, Akane, Sayuri, Yuka, Nabiki and her minions,  
as well as other friends of the girls.

They were, at the moment, looking at Ranma and Ryouga and giving lots of commentary.

"Well, Ryouga seems to be somber today," said Sayuri.

"Yeah, he hasn't said much today," said Ukyou. "Figure he's just thinking about the fight."

"Yeah, the big one's today," said Nabiki. "How long do you figure it'll take for Ranma to win this time?"

Akane gave Nabiki a slight nudge. "Nabiki! That's not a nice thing to say."

"Well, you gotta admit Ryouga's odds don't look so good," said Yuka. "Never beaten Ranma before at all."

"Hey now, y'never know," said Ukyou.

"By the way Ranma beat out Rodumanu and Yojojimbo at the lunch lines today, he's recovered fast," said Nabiki. "Ryouga looks like he's not too worn out either, but neither of them is 100%."

"And given all things equal, I'll bet on Ranma," said Yuka.

"You guys really don't think Ryouga has a chance?" asked Ukyou.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Defending your boyfriend,  
Ukyou?"

"He is NOT my boyfriend!"

Nabiki knew he wasn't, but she just loved to tease people. "Oh come now. Sharing the same living quarters for all this time, cooking meals for the man. Surely there must be _some_ attraction."

"Don't be ridiculous," snapped Ukyou. Nabiki dropped the subject, but took note of Ukyou's slight blush.

"Hey, there's Akari," said Sayuri. "Over here!"

"Why is she going towards Ryouga?" asked Nabiki. "How very interesting."

Ryouga was currently sitting under the shade of a coconut tree. It was imported by the Principal, a fanatic of Hawaiian culture.

He was brooding.

Mostly on the past.

It was a depressing sort of brooding, really. He tried to find some bit of insight or inspiration in battles past.  
Instead, he just wound up sinking further into gloom with every recollection of Ranma coming out on top time and again.

It wasn't very encouraging at all.

"Ryouga-san?"

He looked up from the ground and right into the face of Akari Unryuu. "Oh, Akari-san, hi."

"Hi Ryouga-san. Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "Just thinking about today's fight,  
that's all."

"Oh." She kneeled down next to him, staring at the ground. "I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For yesterday, when Ryo-san..."

"Oh, that," said Ryouga.

"I guess I should have listened to everyone."

Being still wildly incompetent at the whole comforting-women-in-their-time-of-need thing, Ryouga shrugged. "Things happen."

"Anyway, thanks for saving me." She leaned over and gave him a light kiss on the cheek, then walked away.

She was blushing just a little, and so was he.

"Oh my," said Akane.

"Didja see that?!" yelled Sayuri.

"Sure did," said Yuka.

Nabiki glanced sidewards to Ukyou. "My, it seems you've got a rival."

She, in return, shot Nabiki an annoyed look. "Would you guys cut that out? She's coming this way."

The group settled down as Akari joined them. "Hi guys," she said demurely.

"How're you feeling, sugar?" asked Ukyou.

"Still in shock, I guess." She smiled just a little,  
though the melancholy still showed in her face. "I guess you guys were right about him."

"Hey, you were in love," said Yuka.

"It's natural to not wanna see the uglier side of someone you love," said Sayuri.

"There's plenty of other guys out there," said Nabiki, a wicked grin on her face. "Like, for example, Ryouga."

Ukyou swatted Nabiki with the school newspaper. "Nabiki!"

"Saw the little kiss back there," said Yuka.

"I-it wasn't like that!" protested Akari. "I was just thanking him for saving me yesterday."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Stop teasing her, guys."

"Okay, okay," said Nabiki. "But you've gotta admit he is cute."

"Mm-hm," said Yuka.

"Not bad at all," said Sayuri. "Nice assets."

"Sayuri, please," said Nabiki dryly. "That's my line."

"Akane-neesaaan!" *GLOMP*

"Awk!"

Akane was nearly toppled over as Kyoko Muhoshin burst from seemingly nowhere and wrapped Akane up in a hug. Once she recovered, she laughed and ruffled the younger girl's hair.

"Kyoko-chan, hi!"

"Hihi! Whatchadoin?"

"Just having lunch," replied Akane. "You?"

"Justgotdone!"

Nabiki was looking at her warily. "Is it just me or has she been more hyper lately?"

Akane thought about it a moment. "Yeah, you're right."

"Hyper? Who? Who'shyper? Notme!"

"Yes, you," said Akane, poking Kyoko gently on the nose.

The youngest Muhoshin pouted. "I'mnothyper!" Her pouting mood didn't seem to stay long, as her happy disposition snapped back into place a split second later.  
She whistled a happy tune while pulling a can of soda and a candy bar from her bag.

Akane read the labels. "MegaVolt Cola? Uberpocky? Hey,  
that's too much sugar."

Kyoko shook her head vigorously and tried to reply the best she could with a mouth full of high-sugar candy bar.

"Mmmm-mm!" *chew*chew*swallow*glug*glug* "Is not!"

The girls stared in fascination and shock.

"She's washing the Uberpocky down WITH MegaVolt Cola?" said Nabiki. "Oh my. That's beyond anything I've done."

"Kyoko-chan, how long have you been eating stuff like this?" asked Akane.

"Um... justafewweeks. My sensei usedasay nononoNO if I wanted'tget a candybar orsomething but Ryo-niisan said itwasOKAY!"

"And how many MegaVolts have you had today?" asked Nabiki.

"Um... onetwothreefourfivesixseven... teneleventwelve...  
fifteensixteenseventeen..."

"Ah," said Nabiki. "That explains it." She handed Kyoko a small bottle of water. "Try this, kid."

The little girl looked at the bottle of water skeptically. "Avyon Bottled Water. Water?"

"Yes."

"Doesssit... have any flavor?"

"No, just water."

Kyoko frowned. "What's th'point?"

Nabiki sighed. "Never mind."

"Since when did you drink bottled water?" asked Akane.

"Have a few exams today. I need the steady nerves."

Looking a little nervous, Akari sat next to Kyoko. "Um,  
Kyoko-chan, where's Ryo-san?"

Kyoko blinked. "Oniisan? Gone."

"Gone? Where to?" asked Akari.

"Dunno. Packed looooootsa stuff innabag an'left!"

Akari paused, then continued her line of questions. "Did he say anything?"

"Um..." Kyoko thought for a moment, then put a hand over her mouth. "I don't think I ought'a say what he said."

"Was he... was he angry at me?"

Kyoko shrugged. "I dunno."

"Hmm, sugar rush wore off fast," muttered Nabiki. "Must have a high velocity metabolism."

Akane elbowed her. "Shh! If she hears you she might start again."

"Oh! Akane-neechan! Ryo-niisan wanted me t'giveya this!" She dug into her bag again and pulled out a note.  
"S'for your daddy."

"What's this?" Akane unfolded the note.

Dear Mr. Tendo &amp; Mr. Saotome,

I will be currently out of the city, and perhaps the country, for an undetermined amount of time.  
Until my return, I am entrusting the care and training of my youngest sister Kyoko to you. I have been very satisfied with the results of her training thus far, and thank you both deeply for passing your knowledge to her. Enclosed in the envelope my sister will hand to you upon agreement of the above terms is a sufficient amount of yen to fund her training and pay rent at current market price.

-Ryo M.

Akari, who'd been peering over Akane's shoulder, didn't know how to react. Ryo leaving Japan?

Nabiki, who'd been peering over Akane's other shoulder,  
locked her gaze on Kyoko. "Money? What money? Just give it to me, I'll pass it on to my father."

Kyoko shook her head vigorously. "Nuh-uh. Oniisan tol'me to give it to Tendo-san an'Saotome-san ONLY."

"Drat."

"Whoops, five till lunch is over," said Yuka.

Ukyou sighed. "Guess I'd better go help Lost Boy get to class again."

Nabiki grinned. "Isn't-"

"And NO BOYFRIEND JOKES, wiseass."

[The Roof, Furinkan High, 4:53pm]

"And that one?" asked Ryouga, pointing to a passing cloud.

"Mmm... okonomiyaki."

"You're obsessed."

"Oh, shut up."

They were on the roof, flat on the ground and staring at the sky, watching the clouds go by. It was a terribly relaxing thing to do.

"That one?" asked Ukyou.

"Pig."

"How about those?"

"Pigs."

"And those?"

"Pigs."

Ukyou nodded sagely. "Deep trauma, I see."

"Huh?"

Ukyou smirked. "Nothing, nevermind."

"Hey, Ukyou."

"Hm?"

"You think I got a chance?" asked Ryouga, still staring at the sky.

"At Ranma? Sure you do. Just keep your head cool and don't be so aggressive. Okay?"

Ryouga thought it over. "I'll try."

"Hey, ten minutes till the big fight. C'mon, let's go."

The two stood up, then made their way down the tall stairwell. Every now and then she'd sneak a peek at him,  
and her thoughts would stray to the regular round of teasing that the lunch crowd girls subjected her to.

Ryouga? Cute?

Sure, she'd admit that he was.

Jealous of the attention he'd been getting? Hell no.

Finally, they reached the ground floor. Just before going through the front doors, Ukyou paused.

"Hey Ryouga?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck."

And she kissed him.

But only on the cheek.

[Furinkan High, 5:00pm]

The final match of the King of Nerima tournament was being held in a very appropriate place: the soccer field of Furinkan High. The site was the location of the first confrontation Ryouga had with Ranma upon arriving in Nerima.

It was also, due to the previous battles held there, a tad on the rough side, with ragged earth and ki blast scorches scarring the terrain.

The observers were well away to the sides. They knew how much debris the two could kick up during a fight.

Neither of the two boys had talked to each other that day. What was there to be said?

/Hibiki Ryouga.../

Ryouga looked to the sidelines where Ukyou was. She gave him a thumbs up sign. Next to her, Akari and Ryoko cheered. And further in the stands, Kodachi winked. And then there was that cheerleader girl, Mariko, waving her pom-poms.

Looking into the stands, he decided, was a bad idea.

/vs. Saotome Ranma!/

This time the roar of the crowd was much louder. Time for the show! Spectacular feast of martial arts prowess!  
The big finish! And the crowning of Ranma Saotome as the best martial artist in Nerima, as everyone knew he was.

/FIGHT!/

Ryouga went over Ukyou's advice silently in his mind.

Okay, Just keep a cool head and don't rush in to atta-

-WHAM- -WHAM- -WHAM-

"Aaagh, DAMN YOU RANMA!"

Ukyou sighed. This wasn't a good start, not at all.

Ranma felt a little bad about it. But then again, with all things considered, it had to be done.

For once, he started the match as the aggressor. Got in three quick solid hits too.

That really made Ryouga mad.

Which was good, because Ranma felt the need to end this _fast_.

He was sure the final round of the tournament was beginning right about now.

He didn't care.

To Hell with them. All of them.

Ryo Muhoshin didn't care to see the end of it. Not at all. He figured it was time to take a step back, to re-evaluate things, to trod violently on new faces.

He'd lost his focus. The whole Akari event left him drained and furious. And he had been beaten in combat,  
again.

Damn that whole setup.

Damn her.

He needed a vacation.

There was a wide world out there, and he felt the need to test himself again. He wasn't good enough this time,  
despite the new training he'd undertaken. Perhaps a global perspective would help.

Then there was the matter of his other self, the hallucination in the forest during that training trip. The one that told him to go in search of the Nanban Mirror.

What the hell was that?

Probably magic.

Right then, add to the 'to do' list a ransacking of any place that held magic artifacts.

All in all, it looked to be a nice, relaxing, violent trip.

Then he'd come back and crush them all.

Sooner or later.

He strolled to the edge of the cruise ship, looking out across the harbor and towards Nerima one more time, scowled,  
then spat in the ocean.

"To hell with you all."

Goodbye Japan.

Ryouga lashed out with his umbrella. Ranma easily ducked under.

"GO RANMA!"

Ranma gave Ryouga a solid kick to the midsection. Ryouga winced, but didn't show any other sign of pain. He merely lashed out with his umbrella again, managing to give Ranma a slight cut on the arm.

"BOO! DIE RYOUGA! DIEDIEDIE!"

Ryouga stabbed into the ground, setting off a rapid tidal wave of breaking point explosions. Ranma merely jumped over the wave and brought his foot down towards Ryouga's head.

To his surprise, Ryouga managed to get out of the way.

"KILL HIBIKI!"

"Noori-sama, I don't think you should be so loud," said Konatsu nervously.

"Shut up. This is fun. YES! HIT HIM AGAIN!"

Konatsu sighed.

"NO YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

He really hoped that nobody would be offended by Tanya's loud boorish ranting.

"Hey, who's the obnoxious jerk yelling up there?" asked Ukyou.

Akane turned around and scanned the seats above and behind them. "It looks like... Noori-san."

"Oh. Figures."

Akari winced as she saw the two fighters hit each other savagely. "Oh! I hope they don't kill each other!"

"Those two? No, they won't. You'll never get them to admit it, but they're good friends," said Akane. "Really they are. Nobody's going to be killed."

Ukyou rolled her eyes.

"RANMAAAAAA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"I'd like t'see you try!" taunted Ranma.

Ryouga hurled a dozen bandannas at him, all spinning wildly at different angles but zooming in on him. At the same time, Ryouga heaved his umbrella like a javelin, aiming right at Ranma's chest.

Ranma smirked. He was somewhat disappointed, actually.  
Ryouga was getting predictable. In fact, this was the same thing he tried the second time they fought in Furinkan High.

With a little bit of effort, he dodged the first few bandannas, caught the umbrella, snapped it open, and blocked all the other bandannas.

He wasn't expecting the the big breaking point shockwave.

"Ooooh, that new technique is just major property damage! IIIIIIIIII LIKE IT!" roared Daisuke.

"Yeah, damn good fight," said Hiroshi. "C'MON RANMA!  
WE'VE GOT MONEY RIDING ON YA!"

He was promptly bapped by Sayuri and Yuka.

"What kind of a cheer is that?!" asked Yuka.

"Oh, like you didn't put money on him either," said Hiroshi sarcastically.

"Heyhey, spiral pattern detected!" said Daisuke.

Hiroshi turned quickly to the battlefield. "Going for it already?"

"Yup, there they go..."

"Damn you! Stop running!" Ryouga rushed forward again,  
missing Ranma by just a hair's width.

Again.

The fact didn't escape either of them. It was unusual for Ranma to cut it this close so many times. He was definitely still weak from the week's fighting.

And Ryouga was trying to take advantage of it while he could. He pushed aggressively, constantly, and hoped that Ranma would burn out first.

A bit of a flaw in the plan was the fact that Ranma was hitting him far more than he was hitting back.

He hoped that the hits he did connect with had hurt Ranma a lot more than it looked like it did.

Ranma was hurting.

When Ryouga hit, he really hit hard.

He really hoped Ryouga didn't notice the occasional wince as he ducked, rolled, and dodged his strikes. It wouldn't do to show weakness, not at all.

He continued stepping backward, leading Ryouga on carefully.

So far, so good.

"You're gettin'slow P-chan."

"Don't call me that anymore!"

C'mon, c'mon, keep it up, keep it up. That's it, a little more...

Red tainted Ryouga's vision as he charged at Ranma again,  
his temper flaring to its fullest.

He wasn't going to get away this time! No! Not again!  
This time it was Ryouga Hibiki that'd win! NOT Ranma!

"DIE!"

He lunged forward with a punch, missing Ranma again and smashing into the ground. Ranma dodged, AGAIN! He was ALWAYS running away! Running... away...

A few brain cells in Ryouga's head traded electrons.

Running... away...

Those electrons managed to speed through a few more neural synapses.

Running away... in a spiral...

In a spiral?

Uh oh.

"HIRYU SHOUTEN HA!"

Ukyou almost couldn't bear watching. It was like a disaster movie: she knew everything was going to come crashing down but she watched anyway.

Ryouga was mad, Ranma was cool, and there they went on the downward spiral...

"HIRYU SHOUTEN HA!"

The telltale sign of a huge column of light flared up and around Ranma, nearly blinding the audience. And then, much to everyone's surprise, the light sputtered out and died.

"What the..."

Ukyou was puzzled, then smiled as she saw Ryouga standing far away from Ranma. The crowd was confused, but she knew what happened.

He actually saw it coming.

And he backed off in time.

Maybe there was some hope for him yet.

"GO RYOUGA!"

Who's bloody cheerin'fer Hibiki?!

"Pardon, Noori-sama?"

"Who is cheering for Hibiki?!"

"The girl he lives with. Kuonji-san."

"Oh. Figures."

The Hiryu Shouten Ha was a ki-draining move. To perform it once was took quite a bit of effort. To perform it twice was an impressive feat, one that only a handful of very advanced martial artist would be able to do.

To perform it once, at the end of a week's worth of hard fighting, with nagging injuries to top it all off, would be quite a drain in any martial artist.

In other words, Ranma was in trouble and he knew it.

"Oh man."

Only one thing left to do: fake it.

He only hoped Ryouga wouldn't notice.

Ryouga wasn't sure what to do next. He was still shaken from the near-miss ki blast from Ranma, enough to shift his attitude from maniacally aggressive to very cautious.

He looked at his nemesis warily.

Ranma still stood there, arrogant as ever, not budging an inch.

This was a surprise.

He went over Ukyou's advice in his mind one more time. Don't be so aggressive and keep your head cool. Well, he managed to utterly fail the bit about keeping a cool head,  
and it almost cost him.

Okay... don't be aggressive... don't be aggressive...

"Not that I want Ranma to lose," said Hiroshi. "But why isn't Ryouga being aggressive? I mean, Ranma's gotta be drained out right now."

"But he doesn't look like it," said Yuka.

Daisuke snorted. "He's bluffing. The guy never likes to look weak."

"Oh yeah, he always was overly macho," muttered Sayuri.

"Well, the longer this goes on, the better for Ranma,"  
said Daisuke. "He always did recover faster."

"C'mon Ryouga. What'r ya waiting for?" taunted Ranma.  
He knew that this was probably pushing his luck, but he did have to keep up appearances.

Ryouga shook his head. "No you don't. I'm not gonna fall for that twice."

That was just fine, thought Ranma. A few more minutes and he'd be ready for anything again.

Ryouga felt like an idiot. The back of his mind was screaming 'ATTACK! ATTACK!' but a part of his mind armed with a spatula was insisting on NOT doing that.

The Hibiki mind was a remarkably powerful thing. This self-restraint was doomed not to last.

"All right, let's see what you've got," growled Ryouga.  
He brought to the surface all the memories of Ranma beating him time and again, every loss he ever suffered, every dark memory...

And he began to glow.

Ranma smirked.

So, that's the way it's gonna be, huh?

In a battle between Ryouga's angst and Ranma's ego, Ranma was sure his ego would triumph every time.

Ranma Saotome lose? No way.

It should be noted that in a battle of Ranma's ego vs.  
Ryouga's angst, Ryouga also thought Ranma's ego would win.

Ryouga found that to be damn depressing.

"Heyhey, ki-wars!" cheered Daisuke.

Hiroshi tapped him on the shoulder. "Pass the sunglasses."

"Ah, right."

Sayuri and Yuka looked puzzled. "Sunglasses?"

They both nodded, sliding their sunglasses on smoothly.

"MOKOU-"

"SHISHI-"

"Heeeeeeere they go!" yelled Hiroshi.

"-TAKABISHA!"

"-HOUKOU DAN!"

They both launched a large beam of light, seeming to roar as it burned through the air. Ranma's ego met Ryouga's angst in a thundering collision of sound and fury.

"Wah! I'm blind!" cried Yuka.

After a full second of howling winds and blinding light,  
the ki barrage ended.

Daisuke lifted his sunglasses. "Ranma's still standing."

Hiroshi did likewise. "So's Ryouga."

"Stalemate," they both said.

"Heyhey, they're doing it again!" said Hiroshi.

"Gimmie those!" cried Yuka, swiping Daisuke's glasses.

"Hey, wha-"

"SHISHI-"

"MOKOU-"

"Gimmiemyglasses!"

"-HOKODAN!"

"-TAKABISHA!"

"Wah! I'm blind!"

Ranma wasn't feeling as confident as he was a moment ago.  
He'd barely been able to pull off that second blast, and Lost Boy over there was still standing? Not good.

Ryouga was thinking the exact same thing.

The crowd was wondering if Ranma was in trouble. Pulling off three grand ki blasts was surely draining on endurance.  
On the other hand, Ryouga had been on the receiving end of a lot of hits, and two ki blasts weren't good for his endurance either.

Ranma decided to go with his strong point.

Ryouga did the same.

Tanya Noori ordered a large cola, with lots of ice and one of those neato-bend tips. This fact doesn't sound important, but it is.

"BAKUSAI-TEN-KETSU!"

The ground exploded again, forcing Ranma to jump away quickly and a few members of the audience to snap open their umbrellas as the gravel flew wildly through the air. The battleground wasn't so great at the start of the match, but now it was a wreck. Steady footing was becoming a rare thing.

For Ranma Saotome, however, that wasn't too big of a problem. He just took to the sky.

He put on a dazzling display of aerial acrobatics as he zoomed by Ryouga in a blur, slowly making progress with his hit-and-run tactics.

"Oh, he's really pushing it," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke nodded. "Yup."

"Why do you say that?" asked Sayuri.

"He's turning on the speed," explained Hiroshi. "That burns energy, and I gotta wonder how much he's got left."

"Well, it seems to be working," observed Yuka. "He's hitting Ryouga where it counts."

Daisuke nodded. "Yep, so it's a question of who drops first."

Meanwhile, Tanya Noori was idly stabbing at the ice in her cup with the straw.

This was ridiculous, thought Ranma. He wasn't going to be able to keep up the attack for much longer

Time to end it.

He flew by Ryouga again, tagging him on the side with a punch, then landed behind him. He ducked as Ryouga swing a backfist at him, then sprang up and out of Ryouga's sight.

"What the... where'd he..." Ryouga looked around in confusion, then looked up. Ranma was high above, and zooming down in a kick aimed at his head, his battle aura flaring all around him.

Ryouga grinned. Time to show his new trick. His own battle aura came to life, particularly around his fist. He crouched down for a moment, then sprang up into the air with a battle yell of "SHORYUKEN!"

Ranma blazed down like a falling star, and Ryouga's flaming fist zoomed up to meet him.

The crowd held its breath.

Ryouga flinched, ever so slightly.

With a mighty boom, Ranma's foot connected with Ryouga's jaw, narrowly dodging Ryouga's blazing fist. The two slammed into the ground hard, shaking the earth and raising a cloud of dirt.

The crowd was silent.

A passing breeze blew the cloud away... revealing Ranma Saotome standing over an unconscious Ryouga Hibiki.

The crowd went wild. Hiroshi and Daisuke gave each other hi-5's. Tanya Noori whistled pleasantly and put her straw back in her cup. Konatsu looked at her suspiciously.

"Noori-sama, you didn't..."

Tanya grinned and said nothing.

/AND THE WINNER AND NEW KING OF NERIMA, RANMA SAOTOME!/

Ranma took a deep breath and settled down on his knees on next to Ryouga. Finally, it was over. If Ryouga wasn't taken down by that last hit, he knew he was doomed.

He had to admit, Ryouga put up a good fight. He hoped the guy wouldn't be too sore about it afterwards. The guy always did overreact.

He briefly wondered why there was a large wet spot right on Ryouga's left cheek, but forgot all about it as he felt a pair of arms embrace him from behind. He leaned back slightly and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Congrats," said Akane, her breath brushing the back of his neck.

"Hey Akane. Told you I'd get it."

"Hey Ranchan, nice fight," said Ukyou, sitting down between Ranma and Ryouga.

"You okay?" asked Akane, squeezing Ranma slightly.

"Yeah, just need a looooooong rest."

"How about Ryouga?"

The three looked at their unconscious friend with some concern.

"He'll be all right," said Ranma confidently. "He's been hit by worse."

"I guess so."

"Maybe we should wake him up?" asked Akane.

"Nah," said Ukyou, brushing his hair gently from his eyes. "Let the guy rest a bit."

Ukyou felt mixed emotions at that moment, feeling happy for Ranma but sad for Ryouga.

Too bad there had to be only one winner.

She sighed. Things may have changed a lot lately, but it seemed that one thing was still the same: Ranma Saotome can't lose.

\- end part 5 - 


	22. A Life Less Ordinary

\- - English / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

======================== THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ACT 2 The Kings of Nerima Epilogue A Life Less Ordinary ========================

[ 6:15, Tokyo Harbor ]

The two adopted Tendo sisters, Kurumi and Natsumi,  
watched the setting sun as they sat at the edge of the pier.  
They idly dangled their legs over the edge and waited.

"Tell me again why we're going to China?" asked Kurumi.

"To train harder," answered Natsumi solemnly. "To perfect our fighting skills and become worthy of being teachers of the Tendo Dojo."

"But China?" asked Kurumi doubtfully.

"Yes, China. I have heard good stories of their training grounds, and masters of the art that know secret techniques not found anywhere else in the world."

"I dunno. This might not be a good idea."

"You just want to go to Togenkyo Island with that Toma boy, don't you," teased Natsumi.

"Oh yeah? I bet you found out that Kumon boy went to China and just wanna follow him there."

"Kurumiii-"

"Oh, hi there."

Kurumi and Natsumi blinked. Natsumi turned around slowly.

"Kumon-san?"

"Tendo-san, what are you doing here?" he asked, taking a seat next to Natsumi.

"Waiting for our ship to come in," said Natsumi pleasantly.

"Looks like it already did," muttered Kurumi. This earned her a swift elbow from her sister.

"Ship?" asked Ryuu. "Where are you going?"

"To China," answered Natsumi. "To continue our training."

"What a coincidence," said Ryuu Kumon casually. "I was headed that way myself."

"Oh really?" asked Kurumi, grinning nastily. "Isn't that nice, sis? Hm? Hey, are you blush-"

*BAP*

[ Gosunkugi residence, 6:00pm ]

Nobody noticed Hikaru Gosunkugi, but then again that seemed to be the nature of things in general.

He was glum. That, too, was usual.

He'd found himself a nice, ordinary girl with a nice ordinary name (Manami) who had actually wanted to be his friend. And she had, as any girl he'd ever held a fascination for, a crush for a martial artist.

He tried in the past, but he knew he couldn't possibly compete against that. So he'd resigned himself to the possibility that this was friendship and nothing more.

Although he was lonely, there was always magic to fill his time.

Not that it was terribly useful.

The electricity bill in his house had gone down a lot since he learned how to create small but bright points of light. That was about the best use he could find for it at the moment. He thought he really had something when he actually managed to call down a lightning strike... but it just didn't seem to affect his target (ironically, some psycho named Ryo that looked almost identical to him) at all.

He dismissed it as a useless illusion and nothing more.

So he killed time at home and at school by pulling rabbits from out of a hat (where the rabbits came from was a subject he didn't care to ponder), minor feats of levitation, and turning pencils into flowers.

There was always magic, but that seemed to be pointless now too. What good was it if it didn't bring him happiness?

The phone rang, snapping him out of his bout of wallowing for the moment. A phone call? Must be for the parents.  
Nobody called for him. Might as well get the message.

"Gosunkugi residence, Hikaru speaking."

/Hikaru-kun?/

"Manami?-san"

/H-hi. Wanna go out?/

"O-out?" This wasn't real. This was a hallucination.  
Any minute now he'd wake up. "I-I thought you'd be watching that martial arts tournament, the one with R-"

/I... I wanted to, but there's no point. I mean... he doesn't really like me, not like that, and I don't think he ever will. I don't think he even remembers me./

"Oh."

/And... I... thought I might as well be with someone that does know me... and is always nice to me... and likes me.../

"I...

/I... I just need to know... I mean... you always give me the flowers you pull out of your hat, and the rabbits...  
although they always seem to disappear.../

"I... I do."

/You do?/

"Y-yes, I do. Do you..."

/I-I think I do./

"So... should w-we call it a date, then?"

/I think I'd like that./

"Y-you would?!"

/Y-yes, I would./

"Great! I'm on my way!"

For the first time in a long time, Hikaru Gosunkugi had a happy smile on his face. He sprang out the door whistling a little tune and walked briskly down the street.

The night air seemed a little better, the stars a little brighter. Life was great.

Who needed magic when you had love?

[ Ucchan's, 9:00pm ]

The day wasn't quite over, but Ryouga was inclined to disagree on that point. For him, the day might as well be done.

He'd blown it.

Again.

The fact that something small and cold struck him near the eye just as he was flying upwards to hit Ranma was dismissed. He had Ranma dead in his sights and he let something small, probably a stray raindrop, or maybe sweat dropping from his arm, something stupidly small, throw him off.

And Ranma won again.

The sounds of partying and cheer drifted upwards from below, where Ranma and the crowd from Furinkan was celebrating Ranma's victor.

-sigh-

Things haven't changed, not at all.

"Hey sugar, what'cha doing up here?"

He glanced briefly at Ukyou, then continued to gaze aimlessly out to the city. "Not much."

"Still bummed out over losing, huh?"

Ryouga nodded. "Sorry."

"Sorry?" Ukyou took a seat next to Ryouga, then asked,  
"Sorry for what?"

"I guess I let you down," he said absently.

"Let me down?"

"Yeah. I lost again. Same as always."

The two sat in silence for a while, watching the world go by with its passing planes and congested cars.

"Y'know, you really oughta get off of this self-pity thing," said Ukyou calmly.

Ryouga blinked. "Huh?"

"I mean, life doesn't always go the way you want it, but y'gotta move on."

Ryouga remained silent, but his face did seem a little less melancholy. It was almost neutral.

Ukyou saw the improvement and smiled. "Y'know what?"

"Hm?"

"You might not'a beaten Ranma, but I think you did great out there."

"Really?"

Ukyou rested an arm on his shoulder, leaning slightly on him. "Not too bad at all. I mean, y'almost got'im."

"Thanks, I-"

Something here has to be explained.

Ukyou had spent much of her life as a boy. She was used to hanging around 'with the guys'. It wasn't unusual for her to occasionally lean on someone, in a macho sort of way with the elbow up and with absolutely no romantic undertones.

Which is exactly why she didn't think much of leaning on him now.

Until he turned his head towards her, and she turned her head towards him.

And they both found themselves surprisingly close to each other's lips.

"Ah..." said Ukyou.

"Er..." replied Ryouga.

Trying to talk was a mistake. Lips being near each other was one thing. Open lips near each other was another thing entirely, especially when those lips could feel the hot breath coming from the lips across from them.

They were frozen in the moment, utterly spellbound by each other. They both tried to look _away_ from the lips,  
which only resulted in them locking eyes.

Close intense eye contact was, if anything, worse.

There is something about the human eye, something undefinable, the sort of thing that made a poet say something about eyes being windows to the soul.

It was a stupidly sugary sweet moment.

Someone was fated to interrupt it. And tonight, that someone carried a soot bomb and a nasty sense of humor.

*POOF*

"AAACK!" *COUGH*COUGH*

"Ryouga! Don't mo-"

*COUGH* COUGH* COUGH* COUGH* "YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa-" -THUD-

From a neighboring rooftop, Tanya Noori watched with some satisfaction as Ryouga slammed into the ground below. She responded to Ukyou's hostile glare with a friendly wave.  
Konatsu also waved, but in a rather embarrassed and apologetic manner.

Heheheh. At'wos satisfyin.

Konatsu frowned. "Noori-sama, that wasn't nice."

Her grin widened. "It was for me."

He sighed. "I think they'd make a sweet couple."

She gave him a questioning look, which he returned with a shrug. Odd remarks weren't about to spoil her night,  
though. The vengeance of Tanya Noori was now complete.

Mio looked at the results of the King of Nerima tournament, somewhat puzzled at it all.

According to her card reading of Ryouga, the end should have been a decisive battle. Instead, it was incredibly close.

The Devil, the Hermit, the Wheel of Fortune, Justice and the Hanged Man. Perhaps, she wondered, the cards had told of Ryouga's fortunes of a later time?

\- end Act 2 -

but don't leave yet...

-*-

-*-  
EXTRA -*-

-*-

Once upon a time there were these four siblings, who happened to be martial artists, who also happened to be movie buffs...

One was a rather skinny fellow, looking a lot like Hikaru Gosunkugi, the other a short-haired girl with a fair tan, the next a sloppily dressed lad with long hair and eyeglasses, and finally, a rather cute 12 year old with a hyperactivity problem...

ROLL CALL!  
Ryo Muhoshin, snide yet debonaire Ryoko Muhoshin, a teen girl with flare Megs Muhoshin, a pervert beyond compare Kyoko Muhoshin, tiny tot without a care

Ryoko: so, what's up tonight? And why's Megs drooling?  
Megs: Lara Bartram!  
Ryoko: Uh oh.  
Megs: She wrote a story! About us!  
Ryo: (raising an eyebrow) What?  
Ryoko: (blushing slightly) Us?!  
Kyoko: Wha's going on?

(moment of silence.)

Ryo: BLINDFOLDS! EARPLUGS!  
Ryoko: RIGHT!  
Kyoko: HEY! NO! NONONONO!

(sounds of brief struggle)

Kyoko: NO FAIR! NO FAIR!  
Megs: Right! ROLL FILM! Get ta show me givin'the lovin to Sayuri AND Yuka! At the same time! WAHAHAHAA!

On Fri, 17 Oct 1997, Lara Bartram wrote:

"And what do I have here?" Ryoko said quietly, eyeing her prize. "Exactly who I was looking for."

Ryoko: (eyes bulging) ME?! AAAACK!  
Megs: Hey, no fair! I should be the star!  
Ryo: (grumbling) Idiots.

Her eyes tracked the lanky young man as he walked dejectedly down the street. He had his eyes focussed on a picture in his hand and wasn't really looking where he was going. Ryoko did her best to follow him nonchalantly. Oh yeah, this was just the opportunity she was waiting for.

Ryoko: What?! What was I waiting for?! What the hell is this?!  
Megs: Ew, I don't wanna watch HER do thw wild thang.  
Ryo: You think I'm happy about this?  
Kyoko: CAN'T SEE!

"Excuse me," she said cheerily.  
Her target stopped and turned. "Yes?"  
"Um, could I talk to you in private? I need you to do a favor for me."  
"Well, I don't think..."  
"Please?" Ryoko's eyes got big and puppy-ish.  
He struggled, but was unable to fight off her cuteness. "OK,"  
he said dejectedly.

Ryo: 'fight off her cuteness'? Oh please...  
Ryoko: What's THAT supposed to mean?!  
Megs: Means you've got the appeal of a nazi.  
Ryo: Those be your words, boy, not mine.  
Ryoko: Oh please please please please please don't let her make me do something embarrasing!

A FEW MINUTES LATER IN UCCHAN'S BATHROOM...

Ryoko: WHAT?!

Ryoko ran her fingers through her lover's hair before clutching it in ecstasy. It was everything she had hoped for, and more. She was extra pleased to discover the bathroom doors locked so they had guaranteed privacy for a little bit.

Ryoko: (blushes deep red) EEEEEEK!  
Megs: (wincing) Helllllo, didn't wanna see THAT much of her. S'cuse me while I turn around.  
Ryo: (avoiding looking at the screen by reading newspaper) "Yen takes a fall for the third week in a row, and..."

Actually, she was more amazed at her catch's stamina. He was holding up rather well and looked like he could actually last long enough to bring her to orgasm.

Ryoko: (blushing, somehow, even more deeply) Ohmygod,  
ohmygod, ohmygod-  
Megs: Will you STOP THAT!  
Ryoko: I'M GONNA KILL LARA BARTRAM!  
Kyoko: CAN'T SEE! CAN'T SEE!  
Ryo: (still reading newspaper) "And in other news,  
scientists have cloned a panda..."

5 MINUTES LATER...  
"OH! Oh..." That was it.

Ryoko: (covering face with hands) I am SO embarrassed!  
Megs: Is it over yet?  
Kyoko: CAN'T SEE!  
Ryo: (still reading newspaper) Weather, page three...

"Ohhh... Ryooooo..."

(Megane turns around and stares at the screen.)

(Ryoko turns pale as ice.)

(One of Ryo's eyes widens as he looks up from the newspaper.)

(There is another Big Momoent of Silence.)

Ryo: ... (scoots away from Ryoko, ever so subtly)  
Megs: (stares at Ryo, then at Ryoko, then at Ryo, then at Ryoko) And you call ME perverted?  
Ryoko: It... it... itititwassupposed to be... um...  
RYOUGA! Yeah! "Ryoooooo-GA!" See?  
Megs: Sis, that ain't helping.

(Ryo scoots further away from Ryoko.)

Ryoko's lover stopped and looked at her. "Don't you remember? My name's Hikaru..."

Ryoko: I WOULDN'T TOUCH THAT FREAK WITH A TEN FOOT POLE!  
Megs: Well, that sounds like what he had inside you...  
(ducks a punch from Ryoko) Whooop! I'm outta here!  
(runrunruns away)  
Ryo: Right behind you! (Ryo runs...)

"Right... I knew that... That's what I said."

Ryoko: "Ryooooo-GA!" It is supposed to be "Ryooooo-GA!"  
AARGH!  
Kyoko: WAH! CAN'T SEE!

END

Ryoko: LARA BARTRAM, I'M GONNA KILL YA!

-fin-  
-*-

SCENE

A darkened stage, with some microphone stands visible, and a sole spotlight shining in the middle.

RYO MUHOSHIN, in his usual dark suit and tie, enters and stands under the spotlight. A moment later, MEGANE MUHOSHIN the rarely seen third sibling of the Muhoshin family appears, guitar in hand, and stands before the microphone behind and to the left of RYO, and begins strumming the guitar.

RYO Ladies and gentlemen, I've heard there've been some complaints about me. That I'm not nice,  
I'm too rough, I really should be a more friendly person in general, that sort of thing.

Heh.

Well, this is a little song about me, about who I am, about why I do things, and whatever else I want to say.

Something like that.

(singing)

o/~ I'm just a psychotic guy, with a psychotic mind.  
I'm not your average jerk, I'm a unique find.  
I like bloodshed, and violence, and books about war.  
I like getting in fights, smashing heads in the floor.  
o/~ My girl, and her pig, her really big farm,  
I won'em over with my unbeatable charm.  
o/~ But you know that's just not enough,  
To keep a man like me interested!

MEGS o/~ Oh no! No way! Uh uh!

RYO o/~ No, I gotta go out and have fun,  
At someone else's expense!

BOTH o/~ Oh yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

RYO o/~ I swindle and rob and cheat all day!  
I'm laughing about it 'cause I don't have to pay!  
I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's an asshole!

RYO o/~ I'm an asshole!  
I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's a asshole! Such a real fucking asshole!  
RYO o/~ I use public toilets, and I smash all the seats.  
I walk around in the summertime sayin' "How about this heat?"  
o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's an asshole! What an asshole!

RYO o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's the world's biggest asshole!

RYO o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's an asshole!

RYO o/~ I'm an asshole!  
I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's a asshole! Such a real fucking asshole!  
BOTH o/~ Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song -  
Ranting and raving and carrying on.  
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong.

RYO . . . . NAHHHHH!  
o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's an asshole!  
What an asshole!

RYO o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's the world's biggest asshole!  
RYO (spoken)

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna go down to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki and shove my umbrella right up Ryouga's ass! Yeah!

Then I'm gonna eat one of those damned okonomiyakis and tell that transvestite Ukyou that they SUCK! I'm gonna throw that okonomiyaki right in her face, then wipe my mouth with one of Lost Boy's bandannas and there's not one damned thing anyone can do.

You know why?

Five words. I. Can. Kick. Their. Asses.

That's right, I kick ass. Ryouga, Ukyou, Ranma,  
whatever. Ranma didn't win, he got lucky, and if he takes me on again I'm gonna beat him so hard his GRANDKIDS are gonna be reeling!

Then you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna g-

MEGS Hey! Hey! Hey! HEY! You know you really are an asshole?

RYO Why don't you just shut up and sing the song?  
(sung)  
o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's an asshole!  
What an asshole!

RYO o/~ I'm an asshole!

MEGS o/~ He's the world's biggest asshole!

BOTH o/~ A, S, S, H, O, L, E!  
Everybody! A, S, S, H, O, L, E!  
(trail into non-vocal chanting and barking)  
RYO (spoken)  
I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it.

-end-

NOTES: This is, I suppose, a response to some who wanted Ryo to be a nicer fellow, or at least to get the punishment he deserves. Y'know what? I didn't make Ryo to be liked. I didn't make him to become friends with the Nerima crowd. I made'im to be _hated_. I made'im to be _bad_. Every Ranma 1/2 bad guy is either bad in a wacky and mischievous way, or they're just misunderstood. See Prince Toma, Tarou, Ryuu Kumon, Prince Kirin, Kuno, Kodachi, the Phoenix Tribe, the Amazons, etc...  
Not this fella. He's a jerk, he knows it, and he enjoys it. I might give'im a soft spot or two but he's never going to exchange his devil's horns for angel's wings.

BTW: song based on 'Asshole' by Dennis Leary

\- * -

The Pursuit of Happiness Writer's Notes Halfway There

AT THE MOMENT...

You know, this story is becoming far larger than I ever planned it to be. Let me give you an idea...

At this moment The Pursuit of Happiness, side stories included, is about double the size of The More Things Change.

That's huge.

It's been several years since I began The Pursuit of Happiness. _Years_.

Don't get me wrong, I still like writing it, it's just that I always thought I'd be _done_ by now.

But no.

I've two more acts to go through till I finish what I have to say, and Lord only knows how big those'll be. I just might set a record in size by the time I'm done.

I'm also pleasantly surprised how loyal the readership has been. Looking at the 'Best of Ranma Fan Fiction' votes,  
act 2 has been a hit every single time.

That's far better than I was hoping for, and it really made the whole thing worthwhile.

RYOUGA LOST, YOU JERK!

No kidding. Now how predictable was that? It's more realistic, honestly. Ranma's the top fighter, always has been, always will be. I admit, I did set it up so that Ryouga had a chance. Mean tease, wasn't it?

Another reason I had Ryouga loose is simply this: it would be ENTIRELY too 'fan-boy'-esque if he did win. Even with all the setting up I did, really. I've gotten quite a bit of mail criticizing it, but really now, everything in canon backs up the assumption that Ranma wil always manage to win.

That, and Ryouga winning would be too much of a high. Where would I go from there? It opened too many plot lines, ones that I didn't plan for and didn't care to explore.

Don't like it? Well, all I can say is that you don't always get what you want.

IF I COULD DO IT ALL OVER...

Looking back on what I'd originally done, way back in The More Things Change, I wouldn't have included the Street Fighter cameos. They were just for fun, really. But the problem is, well, one thing lead to another and they now have an impact on the storyline that's far more than I wanted it to be.

So, from here on out, I'm keeping things in tighter, less cameos, only going to use'em if they really serve a purpose.

Less references to outside sources too, for the same reasons. They're a needless distraction.

WHY HAVEN'T THEY ADMITTED HOW THEY FEEL YET?

If they started dating so early after losing any chance of winning over their former loves (i.e. Ranma/Akane), you might as well stamp the label 'REBOUND MAN' on Ryouga and 'REBOUND WOMAN' on Ukyou.

Hey, look here, while a lot of relationships in Ranma 1/2 blossomed stupifyingly fast, Ranma's didn't. Thirty-six volumes and their relationship is STILL stale. You think I'm gonna have Ukyou and Ryouga declare their 'I love you's in a heartbeat?

Sorry, not likely. Not 'realistic' either. Takes time to open your heart again, and I think they need more of it.

SO LOOKING AHEAD...

Act three will deal with, at last, Ukyou's family. What's known about her family for sure? They're in Kansai, her dad has a beard, and they cook okonomiyaki. Otherwise, I'm free to wreck havoc as I please.

Wella, here I go.

Don't look for Ryo Muhoshin to be a major presence or plot factor in act 3. I feel he's gotten far too much 'screen time' already, and it's time to return the focus to the Ryouga/Ukyou relationship.

However, that doesn't mean the 'new' characters are out entirely. Kyoko will begin taking a larger role. Megane Muhoshin might finally get a scene. Tanya'll have something to do as well. And Ryo? Might appear once or twice, but he won't really be coming back till act 4.

I've always written TPOH with a fear that it'll turn into a story _too_ focused on the new characters. Nothing personal meant to people who write stories where someone new comes in and suddenly becomes a focal point and befriends everyone,  
but I don't want that in TPOH. I'm trying to avoid it.  
It's just something I don't really care to see happen. They were created as supporting characters, and that's as far as I want'em to go.

And in case you're wondering what I have planned for the finale, the end, act 4...

I don't know if I can successfully do it. The plot outline right now is a bit tricky. I might _not_ do it.

But I plan to kill everyone.

Yes, this is a comedy.

But don't worry. It'll be a happy ending. No matter what.

Really, I promise.

SO WHEN'S THE NEXT PART GONNA BE READY?

As of this writing, it's November.

Don't expect anything new until... oh... if you're lucky, January. If not, February. I've got a lot of other stories to finish, other obligations to meet as well. My apologies for the delay, but as some poet wrote once...

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep but I have promises to keep

Thanks for reading, I hope you'll stick around for the rest of the ride.

-Rod M. 


	23. Setting It Up

-

\- English " " - Chinese / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

=========================== The Pursuit of Happiness ACT 3 Home Prelude Setting It Up ===========================

Several months ago...

He was feeling rather satisfied with himself at the moment.

Several months ago, the Jusenkyou Guide did something he rarely allowed himself to do. He treated himself. It was the 30th anniversery of the time when he started his job as The Guide. It was, he thought, an important moment in his life. And so he went out and bought himself a Nissan Pathfinder.

And accidentally (and tragically, of course) crashed it into a spring.

Considering the amount of money involved in the matter,  
he felt that yes indeed it was a GREAT tragedy. But then, a funny thing happened. He'd spied a frog once, leaping about. Frogs, in Jusenkyou, led a most alarming life in the land of a little over a hundred springs (it had once been a thousand, but there was a mistake done by the China bureaucrats involving bypasses and road construction crews which drastically cut down that number). One moment the frog would leap into a spring, and a rather baffled goose would attempt to croak (and a goose trying to croak, the Guilde could tell you, was a very strange sound indeed) and in it's panic leap into yet another spring. After that, it would emerge as yet another animal, still behaving quite frog-like, and repeat the pattern.

As stated before, he was once observing a frog leap about, and watched as it dove into the spring where his car had, technically, drowned. Nothing came out. His curiosity piqued, the Guide strolled over and had a look. Submerged and stuck deep within the spring was a Nissan Pathfinder.  
How odd, he thought, did I not have my car towed away already? With a scientific experiment in mind, the guide carefully filled a cup with the water, strolled over to a passing ant, and let the liquid drop.

Several months later, neighboring communities would often spot the Guide driving with much reckless abandon across the wilderness of China. The Amazons in particular were rather annoyed and bluntly let him know about it, but things changed when he made them an offer.

Several months after that, a large number of Nissan Pathfinders were blazing their way through the wilds of China, raising all sorts of hell, scaring the pandas out of their wits, and making a general nuisance of themselves. Nobody dared speak against them, though. The Amazon elders didn't take criticism very well, especially when the subject was their 'relaxation time'.

The Musk Dynasty was a tad miffed. They weren't included in the deal.

The Mount Phoenix tribe didn't care, but had firmly decllared that if one of those vehicles ever hit their territory, they'd turn it into scrap.

Everyone in general agreed not to tell the government about it, since nobody liked them anyway. Thus, the legendary spring of drowned Nissan Pathfinder, Nissanichuan,  
was kept as only that, a legend, carefully guarded by The Guide and the Joketuzo Amazon tribe. Anybody else that came to town wanting a free car was usually chased out by an angry stampede of Pathfinders.

Much like she'd done for more years than the locals could remember, Cologne was once again at the front of her abode,  
sitting in a self-made rocking chair and watching the sun rise.

Mornings in the village weren't what they used to be,  
lamented Cologne. The occasoinal buzzing of Pathfinders was certainly new, but since her fellow elders owned them there wasn't much to say on the topic.

So much for ultra-conservatism.

She could have, if she wanted to, raised a fuss about the matter. However, living in Japan with modern conveniences had spoiled her a bit. She knew it did, but Cologne figured she'd earned it. Besides, change was the natural order of things, was it not? And so, did not her fellow elders earn the right to their vehicles?

Cologne sighed. Mornings still didn't seem right like this. It made the place feel quite a bit like Japan,  
actually.

"Mousse, you JERK!"

*WHAM*

Ah, yes, the newlyweds. They reminded her of Ranma and Akane, very much so, especially the way Mousse was currently a speck in the air, popped up there once again by a morning kick from Shampoo.

Yes, sometimes it felt like she hadn't left Japan at all.

She eyed the airborn Mousse once more, calculating trajectory, wind speed, and velocity. Then she took one step to the left.

*WHAM*

"Good morning, son-in-law."

"Grak."

"Things are going well with Shampoo, I see."

"Nng."

"Do us both a favor and try to stand up. As it is, I feel ridiculous talking to someone whose head is plugged into the ground."

With some squirming, Mousse finally righted himself. He took a moment to brush the dirt off of himself, stretch his back, then finally took a seat at the front porch of Cologne's hut.

"There, that's better," said Cologne. "She's still bitter, eh?"

Mousse nodded, scowling and slumping forward.

"Things aren't going according to plan, hm?" asked Cologne.

"No, not really," replied Mousse flatly.

"You thought it'd be a a happily-ever-after situation,  
hm?"

Mousse nodded, staring off into the sunrise.

"I suppose you could argue that what you did to get Shampoo's hand in marriage was nothing as bad as any of the attempts Shampoo made at tricking Ranma into wedlock," said Cologne. "So you'd figure Shampoo would be a bit understanding about things."

"Yup."

"And of course, you're learning you're entirely wrong."

"Yep."

Cologne sighed and took a long drag from her pipe. "You know, as village elder, I could have the whole thing nullified."

Mousse blinked. "You what?"

"Cancelled. Ended. Rendered void."

"But what about village law?" asked a surprised Mousse.

"It is village law. We just don't like to point it out. Keeps the divorce rates low, you see."

"If that's so, why didn't you nullify our engagement earlier? I thought you'd-"

"Mousse, I've been patient about things, even though you're not nearly the fighter Ranma is. You ARE, however,  
one of the better fighters around, and you and Shampoo have been friends for a long time. I thought there was a chance of things working out for the best, but it is apparent this is not the case."

"I just don't understand," lamented Mousse. "I thought that, deep down, maybe she really..."

"Perhaps you should take a trip," suggested Cologne. "Take time to clear your mind and such."

Mousse looked at her strangely. "Why all the advice,  
old ghoul?"

*WHAP*

"Watch your language, slacker-boy. I'm advising you because I want my granddaughter to be happy. And I want you to take another look at your situation."

"Take a trip, huh?" Mousse mulled the idea over. "Maybe I will. Who knows, maybe Shampoo will miss me."

Cologne rolled her eyes. "Anything is possible, I suppose."

Here and now...

Hiroshi and Daisuke, social commentators of Nerima, sat back and enjoyed the fine morning that was unfolding before them at the front of Furinkan High.

"Ayep, there's Kuno," said Hiroshi, pointing to the kendoist as he emerged from the front doors.

Daisuke looked at his watch. "The Ranma express oughta be here in a few minutes. We got time."

Hiroshi held out a can. "Cola?"

"Sure. Thanks."

They both popped open their cans at the same time, took a chug, then sat back and sighed.

"Things are back to normal, it seems," noted Daisuke.

"As normal as normal gets 'round here," added Hiroshi.

"But of course."

"Hey, the red express is in early," said Hiroshi,  
pointing to Ranma as he and Akane walked leisurely to school. This time, however, there was a third person joining them. Hanging on to Akane's arm was a smiling,  
energetic 12 year old with long brown hair.

"What's Kyoko Muhoshin doing with'em?" asked Daisuke.

Hiroshi cast a sideward glance at his friend. "You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"She's the new student at the Tendo Dojo."

Daisuke blinked. "Huh. Still can't think of that kid as a martial artist. It's weird enough that she's in high school."

"Whoop, Blue Thunder's spotted the Red Express. Here goes the collision."

They watched as Kuno brandished his bokken, said something particularly archaic and noble, then charged at Ranma.

"You put in a bet with Nabiki on today's outcome?" asked Daisuke.

"A little. No sense in blowing the cash we raked in during the King of Nerima tourney betting, eh?"

"True. So what'cha think?"

"Kuno gets one swing in, Ranma dodges low and gives'em a pop-up kick that shoots'em over the fence."

Meanwhile, Kuno continued his charge across the school grounds, bokken held high. As expected, Ranma handed his school bag to Akane, then turned to face the approaching kendoist.

For once, he was too late.

Kyoko got there first.

"Hi there!"

Kuno stopped short, thrown off by the little girl standing in her way. He looked at her as one would look at abstract art, with lots of blinking and a general sense of unfamiliarity.

"Good morning, child," said Kuno pleasantly.

"What'cha doin?" she asked.

"I am preparing to smite the villianous Saotome," he said, pointing his bokken at Ranma. "It would be best if you stood away, as our battles are most turbulent. It would not be safe, I think, for a young one such as you to be near when the battle rages."

"Oh." Kyoko looked left and right for a moment, the smile gone from her face replaced with a flat, unemotional look.

Then she smiled again.

"I'm Kyoko," she said brightly. "Who're you?"

Kuno seemed a bit surprised at the question. "Who am I? I am the great Tatewaki Kuno, unequalled Kendo champion and the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"It's damn cool how he does that," said Daisuke.

Kyoko tugged at Kuno's sleeve. "Martial artist?" she asked.

"I am indeed," replied Kuno.

"Okay!"

Without warning, she grabbed him by the arm and hurled him into the air, across the school grounds, and into a fourth floor classroom.

The morning audience was speechless.

"Damn, I didn't see THAT coming," said Hiroshi.

Meanwhile, up in the fourth floor...

Nabiki took a seat next to the rumpled form of Tatewaki Kuno, currently resting with his head smashed slightly "Heya, Kuno-chan. Feeling okay?"

"Nng."

"I see you've met Kyoko-chan. Energetic little rugrat,  
isn't she?"

"Nng."

"Yeah, I know, that habit of hers can be a little annoying. Look at it this way, you've arrived early for your first class."

"Nng."

Ryouga tapped his foot impatiently on the ground.

They were going to be late. Where the heck was Ukyou? He knew that he'd get hopelessly lost if he tried to get to school on his own.

Actually, he'd tried at least getting to the front door,  
and had miraculously only gotten to the restaurant area instead of Guam.

"Hey! Ukyou!"

"Hold on, dammit!" she replied from... somewhere.

"We're gonna be late!"

"I know! I know! Just wait a minute!"

A moment later, a girl wearing a Furinkan High school uniform stepped into the room, looking a bit embarrassed.

"C'mon, let's go," she said.

Ryouga blinked.

"Well? What're you waiting for?" the girl asked,  
frowning.

"Um... do I know you?"

"It's me, moron!" She stared at him, noting the utter lack of comprehension. "Ukyou! Me! Ukyou!" she said as she pointed to herself. "Understand?"

He blinked again. "Ukyou?"

"Yeah. What're you staring at?" she asked moodily.

"You're not wearing your school uniform," he said simply.

Ukyou adjusted the dress and shirt a bit, clearly uncomfortable. "Yeah, I know."

"Um, why?"

"I dunno. Just felt like something different today." She noticed he was still staring at her oddly and shot him anothere deadly gaze. "Something wrong?"

"You look like... er... a girl."

"That was the idea, yeah," she replied dryly. "Looks that awful, huh?"

"N-no. I'm just not used to seeing you... you know...  
like that."

She fumbled a bit more with the bow on her collar, then sighed. "Forget it, this is stupid. I'll just go change again."

"I think it looks okay," said Ryouga.

Ukyou hesitated. "You think it looks nice."

"Well, yeah."

"Seriously."

Ryouga nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh."

"It is... different... for you, thought."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well, I just felt like trying a little change."

*riiiiing*riiiiing*

Ukyou stared at the phone.

"You want me to get that?" asked Ryouga.

*riiiiing*riiiiing*

"Ukyou?"

"Wha? Huh?"

"The phone?"

*riiiiing*riiiiing*

She frowned. "No, leave it to the answering machine. Let's get outta here."

As they left, it occurred to Ryouga that they didn't have an answering machine, but by then it was too late.

Hiroshi peered out in the distance and hmmed. "There's the newest unofficial couple en route now."

"Ryouga and Ukyou?" asked Daisuke.

"Yep."

"Remind me a bit of the way Ranma and Akane used to be."

"Yep."

"Except there's nothing like an engagement between those two."

"Nope."

"And they don't quite bicker as passionately as Ranma and Akane."

"Not quite, no."

"But they are livin'in sin."

"Ye- WHAT?!"

"Just kidding, my man," said Daisuke. "Though it is interesting that he's shacked up with her, eh?"

"Well, gotta admit, if he lived on his own he'd be lost all the time. Not much of a life, that," said Hiroshi.

"Yep."

"Say, has Ukyou been kidnapped yet?" asked Hiroshi.

"Heard that Muhoshin fella did, a while back," replied Daisuke.

"Really? Huh."

"All they need now is some more wacky hijinks, probably with parents involved, and a big life-and-death adventure."

"Yep. Or maybe some amusing martial arts type competition, like Martial Arts Bowling, will come to pass and all will become wrapped up in the wacky hijinks."

"Think it's gonna happen?" asked Hiroshi.

"Probably."

"Ah, well, the more things change..."

"The more they stay the same."

\- end prelude -  



	24. No Okonomiyaki For You!

-

\- English " " - Chinese / / - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other electric medium.  
-

=========================== The Pursuit of Happiness ACT 3 Home Part 1 No Okonomiyaki For You!  
===========================

Time had a funny way of moving along, sometimes slower than one wishes, sometimes far quicker one ever realized. As Ukyou stared blankly out the window at the lightly falling drizzle, she reflected on that, and lamented the fact that she was out of time.

There was something she knew she'd have to face, something that she just couldn't ignore.

"Hey, Ryouga?"

"Hm?" The lost boy looked up from the table he was cleaning and looked at Ukyou curiously. She'd been acting strange lately, distracted, as if something was weighing heavily on her mind.

"I..."

He blinked. "You...?"

"I..."

... want you to go with me.

... stay by me.

... don't let me go alone.

"I'm gonna havta go away for a while," she said, keeping her eyes locked down on the grill as she polished it in endless circles.

This did, however, stop Ryouga's cleaning.

"Go away?" he asked, sounding as if the concept was something alien to him.

"Yeah," she continued, still not able to look him in the eye. "There's some stuff I've gotta take care of...  
personal stuff. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but...  
I'll be gone."

"Um... why?"

"Just personal stuff," repeated Ukyou. "Look, I know how you get lost easy, so I've asked Ranchan if you could stay with'em for a while."

That statement didn't make him any happier. "Hey, I don't need to stay with them!"

"Hey, it's either that or spend most of the week lost."

"It's not THAT bad!"

She didn't answer that. Instead, she idly whistled and continued polishing the grill.

"Okay, so it is that bad," grumbled Ryouga.

"Hey, I'll probably be back in no time," lied Ukyou.

"Really?"

"Really."

The walk to school turned out to be a little more violent than usual.

"WHERE *yank* ARE *yank* YOU *yank* GOING?!"

"OW! Leggo of my ear!"

"If you'd just walk in the right direction I wouldn't- NO DON'T TURN RIGHT! *yank*"

"Ow! Okay, already! Cut it out!"

Ukyou could feel the eyes turned towards them and hear the whispers as people talked. Just like before... just like when Ranchan left her...

"Um, Ukyou?"

She blinked, snapping out of her remeniscence. "Yeah,  
what?"

"Where are we now?"

"Huh?" She looked around. This.. wasn't Nerima.

With a sudden burst of insight, she realized what went wrong. She stopped paying attention to where they were going. She was walking with _him_.

Of course they were going to get lost.

"This is your fault!"

"How's it my fault?!"

"You always get us lost!"

"Hey, I-"

"C'mon, let's catch a bus," she grumbled, taking him by the hand. "If we're lucky, we can still get there on time."

If they were lucky...

"Bucket! Hall! Now!"

But they weren't.

Ryouga found himself in the unenviable situation of being alone in the hallway with a stressed out Ukyou. She wasn't feeling good, and he figured that he was to blame.

Next to him, Ukyou held her buckets and merely stared at the ground, her expression hidden from him.

Odd that she'd be this upset over being late, but...

The more he thought about it, the more strange it seemed that she'd be so mad from just being late.

Something wasn't quite right. But that didn't change the current situation.

Apologies would definitely have to be given. It seemed like the only option available to him.

"Ukyou?"

Either she didn't hear him or ignored him. Whatever the case, neither option was pleasant.

Nothing to do but try again.

"Ukyou?"

Still silence. Well then, nothing left to do but press on and hope things got better.

"Um, I'm sorry about this morning."

"Sorry?" she asked, still looking down.

"You know," he continued uneasily. "Late, lost, um, you know."

She suddenly turned to face him... smiling.

And smiling brightly.

"No, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

It was the kind of smile only worn with an effort. The kind of smile that's usually meant to be reassuring, but usually fails.

"You sure?" asked Ryouga.

"Sure, I'm sure!" replied Ukyou brightly. Too brightly.

"It's just that..."

"Hm?"

"Something seems to be bothering you."

"No, I'm okay. Really I am."

Of course, he didn't believe her, but he wasn't the type to press an issue.

Unless it involved Ranma and the possibility of beating him up.

Lunch in Furinkan High began with an elbow to the side and words said in a hushed whisper. It wasn't the way Ryouga planned to spend lunch, and it was getting more irritating by the minute.

"Hey," said Ranma. "What's this about Ucchan leavin' town?"

"You mean you don't know?" asked Ryouga, giving Ranma a puzzled look.

"I don't know? You're the one that oughta know. You're livin' with her, aren't ya?"

Ryouga scratched his head. "She didn't tell me anything,  
just that she was gonna be leaving in a few days."

"Probably got sick of him," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke nodded sagely. "Indeed. Didn't wanna hurt the guy's feelings."

"Excuse me?!" yelled Ryouga.

"Probably needed to stretch her wings, or something like that," continued Hiroshi.

"She has been wearing more girlish clothes lately," observed Daisuke.

"Oh yeah, she's got great legs. Reallly oughta show'em more often," said Hiroshi.

This conversation was taking unwanted and somewhat embarrassing turns. Ryouga tried, unsuccessfully,  
to stop it. "Guys..."

"So you think Ryouga's cramping her style?" asked Ranma.

"Hey you!"

Hiroshi and Daisuke hmmed.

"Just might be," said Hiroshi.

"Seems likely," said Daisuke.

Ryouga's heart sank. "W-what?"

"Well, I mean, look," said Hiroshi. "She pays you, feeds you, guides you around. It's like she's got a kid to take care of or something."

"I... I never realized I was..."

"And if she wants to make any progress in the romance front,  
and you're not it, then she has to find some way to get you outta the scene."

"She... I..."

"Puttin'it kinda harsh there, aren't ya?" asked Ranma.

"Oh, we could be wrong," said Daisuke.

"Could be," said Hiroshi. "Hey, I hear they're having a sale on pork buns today."

This caught Ranma's attention quickly. "Really? Hey,  
let's get moving!"

"So that's why the hoards were bigger 'round the lunch lines today," said Daisuke.

The trio, now settled on an objective, strode happily towards more supplies, leaving Ryouga alone and depressed.

And when Ryouga gets depressed, he had a habit of letting off a ki blast.

In mid-stride, Ranma paused and noticed Ryouga not accompanying him. "Hey Ryouga! C'mon! Pork buns, yeah?"

"SHISHI HOUKOUDAN!"

*BOOM*

Ukyou raised an eyebrow and looked around. "Hey, did you guys just hear something?"

"Like what?" asked Sayuri.

"Thought I heard an explosion or something," said Ukyou, as a small, pig-tailed speck in the sky flew high overhead.

"Martial artist paranoia," said Yuka. "You've gotta learn to relax."

"I guess you're right," said Ukyou, looking around uncertainly. "Though I really thought I heard..."

"So, what's this about you leaving town?" asked Nabiki.

"That's... personal."

She was expecting Nabiki to nag about it, to buzz around the edges of the topic, to find some way to get Ukyou to tell her what was going on. That was what Nabiki did.

She didn't expect what Nabiki said next.

"Oh. Well. Okay."

Hrm. New surprises every day.

"Hey, Ukyou, you really oughta wear that more often," said Sayuri, indicating Ukyou's school uniform - the one that girls usually wore, which was the one she was wearing today.

"The tomboy look is okay," said Yuka, "but I gotta agree,  
going feminine works for you."

"Oh, I dunno," said Nabiki. "She looks great as a guy."

Ukyou laughed nervously. She didn't like the way Nabiki said that, and especially the way she was looking at her. "Aheh, come on now..."

"What? So I think you look cute as a guy," said Nabiki with a lazy grin. Ukyou blushed and edged slightly away from Nabiki.

"Nabiki!" said Sayuri, sounding a bit scandalized.

"Hey, you two knuckleheads were wondering if 'he' was available too," said Nabiki.

The two girls blushed and looked away, whistling idly.

Akane, sensing the topic was spiraling into largely uncharted and fairly uncomfortable waters, tried to steer it away. "Aheh, so, Miss Hinako's been kinda mild lately,  
hasn't she?"

"In fact," continued Nabiki with a nastily sharp grin,  
resting an arm on Ukyou's shoulder, "some girls still wanna know if you're still available."

"Hey, just a minute! Just 'cause I dress like a guy does _not_ mean-"

"Will you be my date to the prom?" asked Nabiki.

There was a sudden blast of silence, punctuated by everyone staring at Nabiki, who had, in Ukyou's opinion, an alarmingly sincere look on her face.

"You're kidding," said Ukyou weakly. "Right?"

Nabiki looked left, then right, then leaned towards Ukyou.

"Yes, I am," she replied, that nasty grin returning to her face.

Everyone facefaulted.

"Oh, very funny," said Ukyou sarcastically. "Veeeeery funny."

The walk home from school for Ryouga was uncomfortably quiet. Ukyou seemed to be generating a low level sphere of silence, one that Ryouga felt would be bad to break. There was obviously something disturbing her, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up.

Actually, he wasn't sure if he wanted to bring it up. A spatula to the face was something he preferred to avoid.

So, with both persons having nothing to say, they remained silent walking to Ucchan's, opening Ucchan's, and starting the restaurant for business.

Ukyou's expression had improved, at least, from one of distracted worry to that of a slight, extremely hard to detect hint of a smile.

It didn't quite reach her eyes, though.

Everything seemed to indicate the rest of the day was going to go along smoothly, or, at least, better than it'd gone so far.

A light buzzing interrupted his thoughts as a fly flew around them. He waved at it, causing the insect to hover around Ukyou's head instead.

With blazing speed, she pulled out her battle spatula,  
sliced through the air around her twice, then slid it back in its place.

A wingless fly flopped to the pavement.

Ryouga stared at Ukyou, who still held on to that eerie,  
strained smile of hers, then at the wingless fly.

Yes, silence would definitely be the best option.

Kyoko Muhoshin burst through the doors of the Tendo household happily, yelling, "I'm hooooome!"

Nabiki groaned.

Kyoko wasn't a bad kid. She didn't come close to being a brat. In fact, she was a happy kid. A very happy kid.

So happy it was driving Nabiki insane at times.

And yet... she couldn't bring herself to snap at the girl.  
It was like kicking a puppy. She could be cold, but even she had her limits.

"So where've you been, kid?" asked Nabiki.

"Visitin' Ryoko-neesan!"

"She's the one that works as a waitress, right?"

Kyoko nodded. Nabiki would have been tempted to say she heard something rattle, but considering Kyoko's grades so far, constantly in or near the top of the class, Kyoko could harldy be called stupid.

More bubbly than soda, yes. Stupid, no.

"Where's Akane-neesan?" she asked.

"Out with her fiancee," replied Nabiki. "You know how couples are..."

Kyoko didn't, but she nodded anyway. She'd been taught it was better to look competent than to admit ignorance. Kyoko figured she'd figure it all out later anyway.

"What'cha doin?" she asked Nabiki.

"Watching the news, kid."

Television, or, to be more specific, the sudden addition of several hundred channels to the television, was an unexpected bonus. As it turned out, Kyoko was a mass media junkie. When she wasn't sparring with her father, Mr.  
Saotome, Ranma, or Akane, she was sitting in front of the television and this... device... this thing that somehow managed to snag television signals from across the globe.

Occasionally, while watching some odd television show from who-knows-where, Kyoko would say something strange,  
like...

"Wai! Narf!"

"Wai! C'est une grande!"

"Wai! der preis hat heiss!"

"Wai! Indennita!"

"Wai! Un carro novo!"

After a few days of this, much to Nabiki's surprise, she realized she was actually beginning to _understand_ what the girl was saying.

Watching the world news from foreign eyes, especially now that she had a half-idea of what they were saying, was becoming an addictive hobby.

"CNN?" asked Kyoko.

Nabiki shook her head. "McLaughlan Hour."

Kyoko pouted. She hated the McLaughlan Hour.

"Where's Kasumi-neesan?"

"Probably in the kitchen," Nabiki replied. "Why don't you go help her?"

"Okaaaaay!"

Kyoko left. Nabiki felt better.

"Hihi Kasumi-neesan!"

The eldest Tendo sister smiled that really bright and happy smile that even the most psychotic of men found utterly charming and sacred.

"Hello, Kyoko-chan!"

"What'cha doin?"

"Just getting dinner ready," Kasumi said pleasantly.

"Can I help?" asked Kyoko, hopping up and down excitedly.  
The girl had helped once before, though all all she really did last time was just to set the plates and bring out the food. This time she was hoping for more.

Kasumi looked at the girl thoughtfully. "Now, what can I have you do first?"

Being somewhat impatient, Kyoko hopped around the kitchen looking for some food-related chore to take on.

Oh-ho! A knife! She liked knives!

"Kasumi-neesan! Chop-chop!" she said merrily, waving the knife around.

"Oh my, be careful with that!" exclaimed Kasumi.

"Whada I chop first? Whanna chop!" Kyoko spied a few carrots nearby and didn't hesitate.

*chopchopchopchopchop*

"That's... good, Kyoko-chan," said Kasumi. "But I didn't need the carrots to be... that thin."

"Oh? Oopsie!"

"Here, let me show you."

Kasumi took the knife, carefully, then took another carrot and steadily began chopping it into even slices that weren't paper-thin.

* chop chop chop chop chop *

"See?"

"Oh."

Kyoko took note of her technique, and copied it perfectly a moment later.

* chop chop chop chop chop *

That wasn't the thing she was paying attention to the most.

It was the rhythm.

* chop chop chop chop chop *

It had a certain... musical quality to it, like a commercial she heard once.

o/~ Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow MEOW meow meow meow o/~

"My, that's a funny little song," said Kasumi cheerfully.

"S'a commercial song I heard on the television," explained Kyoko.

"It certainly is catchy," observed Kasumi.

The two resumed chopping, beating out a constant rhythm on the cutting boards. Before she realized it, Kasumi had joined in on the little jingle.

But that was okay.

It was kind of fun.

o/~ Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow MEOW meow meow meow o/~

"You almost ready, Akane?"

"In a minute!"

Ranma grumbled, something about women, clothes, and time, as he walked down the stairway. Had Akane heard, she surely would have hit him. Instead, he said his peace in peace and trudged over to the kitchen to get a drink.

"Hihi, Ranma-sensei!"

"Hey, kid." Ranma breezed by Kyoko, ruffling her hair as he passed, then took a sniff of the boiling pot on the stove.  
"Smells great, Kasumi."

"Thank you, Ranma," said Kasumi with a smile.

"Me'n Akane are gonna visit Ucchan's, so I dunno if we'll be in for dinner."

"I'll save you some, just in case."

"With pop there? Good luck."

He made his way to the refrigerator, opened the door,  
grabbed a nice cold can of soda...

* chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop *

... took a big gulp, and...

o/~ Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow MEOW meow meow meow o/~

... spat it out as his nerves were slammed into a jittering panic, images of dancing cats surrounding him, meow meow meow meow MEOW MEOW MEOW-

*WOOSH*

Kyoko blinked. "Woooow, Ranma-sensei runs faaaast."

Kasumi giggled. "He's so silly sometimes."

A quick run later...

"So you noticed it too?" asked Akane.

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, something's bothering her but she just doesn't wanna talk about it."

The pair looked hesitantly at Ucchan's, wondering if pushing the matter was a good idea.

"Well, we really oughta," said Ranma.

"She is our friend," said Akane.

"NO OKONOMIYAKI FOR YOU! OUT! NEXT!"

The pair blinked. That was Ukyou's voice, and it sounded pretty mad. A moment later, a Furinkan High student wandered out, an utterly stunned and dejected look on his face.

"Hey, what's going on?" asked Ranma.

The student, still in shock, mumbled, "all I said was I needed time to order..." Shaking his head, he walked away and into the setting sun.

"What the heck is going on?" wondered Ranma.

"C'mon, let's find out."

The scene inside of Ucchan's was that of, for lack of a better description, totalitarianism.

A line of patrons stood, perfectly straight and entirely silent. At the heart of the restaurant, a grim and gritty looking Ukyou stood behind the grill, looking as menacing as Lord Enma, Judge of the Dead.

Behind her, a fairly nervous looking Ryouga stood.

Ranma saw Hiroshi and Daisuke in line, standing as if for military inspection.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked Hiroshi.

"Shh! Not so loud!" hissed Hiroshi. Ukyou shot a brief,  
dark glare in their general direction.

Ranma blinked. "Um... okay."

"NEXT ORDER!" bellowed Ukyou.

"I-I'll have the Kyoto Special," stuttered the next customer. He silently put his money on the counter, then took a step right. With dazzling speed, Ukyou grilled up his okonomiyaki and tossed it on a plate. Ryouga silently and solemnly handed it to the customer, who then scuttled away into a corner of the restaurant.

"NEXT ORDER!"

And the cycle began anew.

It was at this point that Ranma decided to try to calm his old friend down.

"Heya, Ucch-"

"STAY IN LINE!"

The basic male instinct for survival has several features.

One of them is to do what an enraged woman tells you to do,  
unless fleeing is an option.

While it was apparent that Ranma's survival instinct was defective (as his many experiences with Akane have proven),  
it was still there and occasionally worked.

Ranma, shaken by the unexpected blast of Ukyou's lungs,  
immediately snapped into line.

Akane, however, didn't. "Ukyou, what's wrong with-"

"QUIET! GET IN LINE!"

The yell itself wasn't so bad. The battle aura that accompanied it, however, was approaching the magnitute of a full Soun Tendo Anything Goes Demon's Head.

Akane immediately snapped into line.

They found themlselves huddled in a corner of Ucchan's,  
keeping their heads low and occasionally cringing as Ukyou roared 'NO OKONOMIYAKI FOR YOU!' to some unfortunate victim.

"Aren't we here to try and help her?" whispered Akane.

"Yeah, we are," said Ranma. "But I'm not done with my okonomiyaki yet."

*WHAP*

"Idiot."

The pair lapsed into uncomfortable silence a while longer,  
as sunset turned to nightfall, and the stars took their place over the city.

While Ukyou was currently cooking what might have been the best okonomiyaki in the world at that point, food quality could only go so far before being killed by the personality of a dictator. The crowds slowly and surely began to thin,  
until the restaurant was nearly empty.

Ranma seemed distracted, as if something was nagging at him.  
And, after a minute longer, he finally realized what it was.

"This okonomiyaki's good."

This is the sort of line that begged for a sarcastic reply.  
Akane didn't disappoint.

"Duh."

"No, you don't get it," said Ranma. "When Ucchan's upset,  
her cooking's usually terrible."

Akane's eyes opened wide in surprise. "Oh, you're right."

"Something pretty weird is goin'on."

"I got an idea," said Akane. "Let's ask Ryouga."

The pair looked to the main grill, where Ryouga was still doing his duties assisting Ukyou. This usually involved him taking the money and handing out the okonomiyaki.

With lots of hand waving (done discretely, i.e., when Ukyou wasn't looking) they managed to get his attention. He nervously said a few words with Ukyou, who merely nodded and resumed grilling. He made his way to their table, where he was immediately besieged with questions.

"What's with Ucchan?"

"Did she say anything to you?"

"Did you go an'make her mad again?"

"Waitaminute! It isn't my fault!"

Akane gave Ranma a light bop on the back of the head. "Cut it out, dear. Ryouga, you don't have any idea why Ukyou's upset?"

"I wish I knew," replied Ryouga. "She's been like this since we got home from school."

"Did you try asking her?" asked Akane.

"I've been afraid to ask."

"I can see why," mumbled Ranma.

"Guys, we can't just leave her to handle... whatever it is that's bothering her by herself!"

"Listen, Akane, sometimes you've just gotta let people work it out for themselves," said Ranma. "I think this is one of those times."

Akane sighed and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you two are such cowards sometimes. _I' m_ going to go talk to Ukyou."

Ryouga paled. "A-Akane, I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Akane's fiancee, on the other hand, didn't have as good a grasp of word choice. "C'mon Akane, don't do something stupid."

She gave him another mild bap to the head. "Boys," she grumbled derisively.

Undaunted and feeling fairly optimistic about her chances of calming Ukyou down, Akane went, almost cheerfully, to talk to her. Knowing nothing but trouble would result, Ranma and Ryouga followed not far behind.

"Ukyou, I-"

"WHATAYOUWANT?"

The meeting of positive energy to negative energy nearly sent sparks flying.

"Um, I..."

It was apparent that Akane's plan was going downhill, and fast. Ranma really did have the best of intentions.

But you know what they say about good intentions...

"Ucchan, calm down, willy-"

"Shaddup, you aquatransexual two-timing freeloading thieving womanizing fem-boy."

What few customers that were still remaining decided to clear out. They knew trouble when they heard it.

"Hey, Ucchan, waitaminute!"

"Don't talk to him like that!" snapped Akane.

Ukyou, her expression already incredibly tense and angry,  
somehow managed to move up a notch in the tense and angry department.

"I'll talk to him any way I like, ya flat-chested,  
can't-cook, uncute, ape-like, violent, clumsy, naive-"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"You heard me, you-"

"You want a piece of me?!" snarled Akane, rolling up a sleeve.

"Any time, sugar!" roared Ukyou, battle spatula unsheathed.

Their women were mad.

The men had to act.

It was, perhaps, the wrong thing to do.

"Hey, c'mon," said Ranma, gently tugging at his fiancee's arm.

"Ukyou, will you stop it!" urged Ryouga.

Both women turned to look at the men with a glare that Medusa would envy. "BUTT OUT!"

*WHAM*

*CLANG*

Ranma sighed. "Girls."

"I just can't understand her sometimes," grumbled Ryouga.

"Get used to it."

The two of them shared a mutual sigh as they passed through a cloud, startling a flock of birds in flight.

"Know where we're landing?" asked Ryouga.

"Tai Park, I think."

"Oh," said Ryouga. "Hey, doesn't that place have a lake in it?"

"Yeah."

Ryouga thought about this.

"At least we'll have a soft landing."

Ranma gave him a questioning look. "Ever hit water from a high altitude?"

"Okay, not so soft."

"DIE!"

*CRASH*

"HA! Is that the best you can do, JACKASS?!"

"No... THIS IS!"

"Whoop!"

*WHAM*

"Oww... right then, try this!"

*CLANG*

Upon one of the many rooftops of Nerima, an unusual pair stared out into the night. One was merely happy to be with the other, while the other was thinking of other things...

Kinda 'ungry, I am.

"Pardon, Noori-sama?"

"Hungry."

"Oh." The crossdressing ninja looked around, his sharp eyes searching through the night. "Ucchan's is nearby," said Konatsu, pointing to a building across the street and somewhat below.

Wot?

This word, Konatsu had learned. Tanya had repeated it enough times for Konatsu to figure it out.

"Ucchan's? The place with the okonomiyaki?"

"Oh." Tanya, tired from a day's work of cleaning chimneys,  
thought nothing of it. Then she remembered something.

S'the girlfriend of Ryouga wot runs it, roight?

"Noori-sama?"

Tanya sighed and took a deep breath. She'd have to give Konatsu some learn-English-in-ten-days tapes or something.

"Ryouga's girl. She runs Ucchan's, yes?"

"I think so."

She mulled this fact over.

"Why not?"

Just before they were to leap down to the street below, a body smashed through the front door of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.

Isn't that Akane Tendo? asked Tanya.

To Konatsu's ears, the phrase sounded something like, "blah blah blah Akane Tendo?" Given the situation, he managed to guess.

"Yes, that is."

Down below, Akane stood up quickly and, with a battle yell,  
charged back into the restaurant.

"Hmmm."

Tanya mulled, once more, her dinner choices. While a good fight was something to be appreciated...

"Let's go somewhere else. Not in the mood tonight."

Konatsu seemed disappointed. "Oh. Okay. How about MacDaimonji's?"

"Well... okay."

The interior of Ucchan's, once a pristine and well-kept establisment, looked much like a war zone. Overturned tables and chairs, many shattered and surrounded with splinters, marred the floors.

Here and there, further evidence of violence were scattered. Several fist and foot-shaped holes dotted the walls, as well as quite a few mini-spatulas. Stains from flour bombs added to the wall decorations. Yakisoba noodles spun lazily from the ceiling fans, one of them wrapped around a mallet.

There were no witnesses remaining to see this, however, as they had all run to safety. While fights were common in Nerima, and duels were often observed by large crowds,  
everyone knew the really _personal_ fights could easily get out of hand.

At the center of this once pristine eating establishment was a battle that was, earlier, of equal intensity as that of such epic battles as Miyamoto Musashi's eternally famous duel with Sasaki Kojiro Genryu, Magic Johnson's duels with Larry Bird, and Godzilla's devastating battle against Mecha-Godzilla.

And as all battles do, this one was finally coming upon its conclusion.

"You're... *gasp*wheeze* you're finished, okonomiyaki nazi!"

"Not *wheeze*gasp* 'less you go down first, gorilla girl!"

The rivals glared at each other once more, taking a deep breath to refill their nearly spent energies...

... and then they charged.

At this point, the miscellaneous scattered debris became a factor, in a most embarrassing way.

Ukyou tripped over a bit of chair.

Akane stepped on a pointy bit sticking from the remains of a table, causing her to lose her footing.

*CLONK*

And in one brief, sharp moment of pain, they both discovered that they lacked the capacity for headbutting that the Hibiki line carried so well.

The two immediately bounced off of each other, falling back and landing roughly on their bottoms.

They couldn't help it.

The situation was that stupid.

They both began to laugh. The atmosphere suddenly seemed lighter as the sound of their laughter filled the air.  
Whimsical laughter, tired laughter, filled with a bit of embarrassment and a lot of relief.

And then the moment passed.

"Owwww."

"I'll go get the ice packs, sugar."

A moment later, the two had found some intact chairs and slumped into them.

Ukyou sighed. "Aw jeez, I'm sorry, Akane. I guess... I've just been under a lot of stress lately, y'know?"

"Feeling better now?" asked Akane, a slight smile on her face.

"Actually, yeah. Guess I just needed to blow off some steam." The okonomiyaki chef slowly looked around the room and groaned. "Wish I coulda found a better way of doin'it,  
though."

"Yeah, no kidding," replied Akane. "Ukyou, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What's really bothering you?"

"I..." Ukyou twiddled her fingers a bit, frowning.  
Finally, she said, "It's not that I don't trust you or anything. This is just really personal for me."

"Okay, I understand," said a resigned Akane. "But if you ever need friends, you know we're here for you."

Ukyou smiled. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Akane."

Ukyou stood up slowly, then began shuffling aside some debris with her battle spatula. "I never thought we'd get as bad as those two."

"Those two?"

"Ranchan and Ryouga. You know how they get."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Oh, those two. Hey, lemme help you clean up."

"No, it's okay. This mess is my fault."

"No, I _insist_. This is my fault too, y'know."

"Well, if you put it that way... CATCH!"

Akane's eyes bulged as a large broom and dustpan flew at her. "Eek!"

"Let's get to work!"

Ranma and Ryouga sulking? Peacefully? Together? This sceen was more than enough to pique Nabiki's curiosity.  
She sauntered into the dojo, walking that particular walk that she knew made Saotome a little nervous. Much to her delight, it also seemed to make Ryouga a little edgy.

"Hello boys," said Nabiki, her voice silky smooth. "You two seem troubled. Anything I-"

"We're broke," they both said at the same time.

"What, am I that obvious?"

The boys nodded.

"Well, tell you what, since I'm terribly bored at the moment, I'll let this one be a freebie. Now how about it?"

The two looked at each other for a moment, then at Nabiki in a very unsure way.

"Well, okay," said Ranma.

Ryouga shrugged.

"It's Akane," said Ranma.

"And Ukyou."

"Oh my. You two get your girlfriends angry?"

Ryouga twitched, slightly. Ranma didn't seem to notice,  
though it made Nabiki smile.

"Actually," said Ranma, "The girls started fighting."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "What'd you do this time, Ranma?"

"It ain't my fault every time, y'know," grumbled Ranma.

"And you two mighty martial artists didn't stop it?" mocked Nabiki.

"We tried," said Ranma.

Ryouga nodded. "They threw us out."

"You peope go up against monsters, spirits, and ruthless martial artists, but you get constantly beaten by the women.  
One would think you guys have a fetish or something."

The boys stared at her blankly.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Oh, nevermind."

"So, what do ya think we should do?" asked Ranma.

"Well..."

The night found Ranma and Ryouga walking once more across the streets of Nerima, albiet with some apprehension and doubt.

"You think it'll really work?" asked Ryouga.

"I dunno," grumbled Ranma. "Maybe. I don't understand girls."

"Me neither."

"Huh."

The two walked onward in silence a bit longer, Ranma seemingly resigned to the fact that something bad was about to happen, while Ryouga looked more puzzled than before.

"We're going to give Ukyou a going away party," said Ryouga.

"Yeah."

"And telling them this is supposed to make'em stop fighting?"

Ranma shrugged. "That's what Nabiki said."

"That sounds like a stupid plan."

"Yeah, it does. Then again, it's Nabiki's plan."

"And Nabiki's smart," said Ryouga.

"So it's stupid, but it just might work."

"Yeah."

At last, the two arrived at the front of Ucchan's. There was an ominous silence, outside and within. The bits of broken chairs scattered at the door weren't an encouraging sign.

"Looks dangerous," said Ranma.

Ryouga nodded. "Yeah."

"You go first."

"Ri- Wait a minute! Why me?!"

Ranma poked Ryouga on the arm. "Hey, you live here."

Ryouga retaliated with an elbow to the side. "Well you knew them both longer than me!"

"Well you're the one dating the okonomiyaki nazi." Ranma emphasised his counterpoint with a whap to the back of Ryouga's head.

"We're not like that!" yelled Ryouga, leaping up and driving an elbow into Ranma's head.

With a punch to the jaw, Ranma snarled, "It was just a JOKE!"

"Cut it out, you jerk!" *WHAM*

"You started it, ya pig!" *POW*

Ukyou blinked "Hey, you hear something?"

Akane listened carefully. The sounds of angry yelling and violence drifted in. "Sounds like... the boys."

"Fighting again."

"Those two never stop."

"Morons."

With a sigh, the two put down their cleaning supplies and stepped through the door...

"Guys!"

Ranma and Ryouga paused in their fighting, just as Ryouga had Ranma in a headlock with Ranma's elbow poised to ram into Ryouga's stomach.

Both looked up, very slowly.

"Um, Akane?"

"U-Ukyou?"

The two girls stood there, hands on hips, looking at them with disdain.

"Will you two idiots cut it out?" said Ukyou.

Akane reached forward and yanked Ranma out of Ryouga's grip. "Honestly, Ranma, stop picking on Ryouga."

"Hey, he started it!"

"I did not!"

*CLANG*

"Ow! What'd you do that for?!"

"For being an idiot. I hope you two jackasses aren't like this tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?" asked Ryouga.

"We're throwing a party!" said Akane cheerfully.

The boys looked at each other, clearly confused.

"A party?" asked Ranma.

Akane nodded. "A going-away party for Ukyou!"

The two boys exchanged another confused look.

"So, er, everything's okay?" asked Ranma.

"Okay? What are you talking about?"

"Ah... never mind."

Akane took Ranma by the hand, while Ukyou grabbed Ryouga's sleeve.

"C'mon, boys," said Ukyou. "Help us clean up."

"Ranma?" whispered Ryouga. "What just happened?"

"Girls. I don't understand'em."

*WHAP*

-end part 1- 


End file.
